What To Do When People Treat You Like A Doormat - Jocko Willink and Echo Charles

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @That1_CopDude
    @That1_CopDude 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7968

    Be careful what you tolerate, because you are teaching people how to treat you.

    • @flspeid
      @flspeid 5 ปีที่แล้ว +117

      Facts.

    • @HladniSjeverniVjetar
      @HladniSjeverniVjetar 5 ปีที่แล้ว +153

      The whole life is information exchange.. back and forth. some people simply suck at reality. It all boils down to parents and upbringing.

    • @pauly3d728
      @pauly3d728 5 ปีที่แล้ว +298

      Just don't tolerate anyone's BS. Either they will respect you or they can fuck off. If they are real people then they'll respect your boundaries, anyone who takes offense to you standing your own ground was only your friend or whatever to benefit from you, keep those kind of people out of your social circle

    • @V1turbo2
      @V1turbo2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      True.

    • @KaneCiticani
      @KaneCiticani 5 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      Aristus Caywood real shit, people start turning against you, you finally drop your balls. People turn against you, flip shit and turn into a victim and call you a monster.

  • @Real11BangBang
    @Real11BangBang 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2487

    I used to have a boss who just treated everyone like Trash. One day he starts screaming at me for nothing and I just started laughing and turned around and looked at him and said "you better calm down old man or you're going to have a heart attack" he fired me on the spot. and I will say that's been one of the best things that's happened to me.

    • @kunjiyt5684
      @kunjiyt5684 3 ปีที่แล้ว +107

      Lmaooo you made me laugh

    • @f.boogaloospook2318
      @f.boogaloospook2318 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Fuck the bosses

    • @lespaul2000
      @lespaul2000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      Ain't nobody got time for that

    • @connorduckson5874
      @connorduckson5874 3 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      @Claire smith I bet you’re the boss

    • @MistaSistaFista
      @MistaSistaFista 3 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      @Claire smith Bosses do yell at their employees for no reason I've seen it. I used to work in a granite shop.

  • @jameznash
    @jameznash 4 ปีที่แล้ว +751

    As soon as you stand up for yourself - they call you aggressive, violent or nasty. That is a terrible trait and if you have somebody that pushes you and pushes you then plays the victim as soon as you say "no" to them, then walk away from them and dont turn back

    • @okaycola2
      @okaycola2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Yep

    • @Flashlyy
      @Flashlyy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@okaycola2 what if they’re the only friends someone have?? Like its impossible to to leave them basicly.

    • @angelwings7930
      @angelwings7930 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      @@Flashlyy Find new friends. Because it sounds like they’re not.

    • @cing9545
      @cing9545 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Then you have to clarify, calmly that you are not, and that they pushed the situation. They are putting out a narrative that is not right and it is on you to tell them so. Just stay grounded, connected to your source, and speak honestly and assertively.

    • @ChooseCompassion
      @ChooseCompassion ปีที่แล้ว

      So true!

  • @nomoreescape4084
    @nomoreescape4084 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1602

    "You've got enemies?
    Good! It means you stood up for something"..

    • @theargonauts8490
      @theargonauts8490 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Zuko Onyx this could also mean you are just a jerk. Or you play with a knife while you talk to people :)

    • @nomoreescape4084
      @nomoreescape4084 5 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      @@theargonauts8490 Point taken :)
      Yet i'd rather be considered a jerk then a pushover.

    • @Ghostrider-71
      @Ghostrider-71 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Winston Churchill.

    • @theargonauts8490
      @theargonauts8490 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ghostrider71 F-14 Bilbo Baggins.

    • @chrishayes5755
      @chrishayes5755 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@Ghostrider-71 Churchill was really a piece of shit though.

  • @SnookOnTheFly
    @SnookOnTheFly 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4348

    Heard a great saying. The people who get mad at you for setting boundaries are the people who benefited from you not having any. I'm finally putting my foot down and now I'm public enemy number one

    • @EvanCops
      @EvanCops 5 ปีที่แล้ว +146

      Yeah, the guys (some of them) I work with have some serious attitude problems....Ill be honest, I dont know if its because Im a female and confident in what Im doing at work or what, but when i tell them to back off or w.e, they dont. So I tell em again, still dont.
      Then the foot comes down and Im a bitch as a result. *Which frankly doesnt bother me, Id rather be known as someone whose a bitch if you screw with me than a doormat*
      Edit o/ Hallo, thanks for the likes. Things are much better now. I'm in a better work environment than previously. Hope everyone is doing well.
      Also the absolute worst experience with someone thinking I'm a doormat was when my ex boyfriend started trying to order me around. 🙄 he still has surprised pikachu face about it

    • @conradbarrett6
      @conradbarrett6 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Snook On the fly good

    • @IGROW-go9xn
      @IGROW-go9xn 5 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      It’s also a form of narcissism

    • @HordyJ
      @HordyJ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That's usually how it goes

    • @SnookOnTheFly
      @SnookOnTheFly 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      saganist My problem is my wife and her daddy

  • @Aerational
    @Aerational 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1165

    The problem is there are so many parents who dominate their children into having zero teeth or self esteem. You are forced to be polite at all times and never learn to deal with confrontation in a reasonable way. You just sit there and repress for as long as you can until the dam breaks. It's really really hard for me to be anything but polite with someone I barely know, I've been taught my whole life I am the problem... and that I'm just too sensitive etc etc. So I tend to wait a long time to make sure the other person really is being offensive and I'm not just imagining it.

    • @megsstorystore8210
      @megsstorystore8210 3 ปีที่แล้ว +108

      Omg this is exactly how I FEEL. But I’ve never really been able to put it into words. Just reading this is making me tear up. And it’s exactly what’s going on in my life right now. Sometimes I just feel like there’s no right answer or magic formula to not getting hurt. It’s so hard to deal with this stuff. Dealing with it comes with a lot of punches and pains.

    • @katec9893
      @katec9893 2 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      I can totally relate. When you've been raised like this and shamed a lot, you're raised to be submissive. So being in the adult world can be quite scary when you encounter bullying, overpowering personalities you just go into shock and don't stand up for yourself as you've been triggered back to your childlike state. This is what happens to me anyway, I'm still learning how to deal with overpowering, loud, obnoxious people who are in groups where I'd prefer not to lose the group.

    • @beewest5704
      @beewest5704 2 ปีที่แล้ว +72

      Especially girls are taught at a young age to be agreeable, dismiss their own feelings & having loose boundaries. This leads to people pleasing tendencies, being disrespected, taken advantage of & being treated like a doormat.

    • @Aerational
      @Aerational 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@beewest5704 mmmm I gotta disagree here. Women are taught to be two-faced and vindictive. While they appear to be nicer and more well behaved everyone knows you never want to cross one in any way or they will make it their mission to destroy you. This gets especially bad when they hit their young adult years and finally feel free of wearing the mask.

    • @beewest5704
      @beewest5704 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @@Aerational Being disrespected, taken advantage of & treated as a doormat can make SOME women swing to the opposite end which is what you talked about. Its more a result ( coping mechanism) than what they were taught. Most will stay a doormat their whole life that is why domestic abuse is such a big problem. Some women grow up & take a more balanced approach. They teach themselves to be assertive, put up boundaries & build self -esteem.

  • @cryora
    @cryora 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3582

    "You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago." - Alan Watts

    • @hockeymasktime1918
      @hockeymasktime1918 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      At the sametime consistency is key...consistent behaviour is key.
      So...

    • @mellymel2647
      @mellymel2647 4 ปีที่แล้ว +81

      @@hockeymasktime1918 Consistency should only be given to consistent people.

    • @Migger_29
      @Migger_29 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Hockey Mask Time unless you are consistently inconsistent, which is different than being inconsistently consistent.

    • @jamfejerry7774
      @jamfejerry7774 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Support Hugh Mungus owwwww stopppp my head

    • @TheJsjr
      @TheJsjr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Needed to see this. Thank you

  • @juliovillegas2259
    @juliovillegas2259 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4615

    This homie is giving advice with a knife in his hand lol

    • @JazzHandzLMT
      @JazzHandzLMT 5 ปีที่แล้ว +93

      Ha! Didn't really notice that....

    • @jamesskinnercouk
      @jamesskinnercouk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +165

      Julio Villegas if I was sat in front of him I would not be able to concentrate on what he’s saying, I’d be worried he might stab me for not listening to him.

    • @drumset7916
      @drumset7916 5 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      @@jamesskinnercouk the irony

    • @BSmithPPG
      @BSmithPPG 5 ปีที่แล้ว +150

      ‘Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.’ --James Mattis

    • @godswillngwaka7488
      @godswillngwaka7488 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@cursim thanos reference

  • @CFABN267
    @CFABN267 4 ปีที่แล้ว +287

    Physically distancing yourself from people that don't take you seriously or treat you like a doormat can create mental and emotional distance which will help regain confidence and self assurance and allow you to protect yourself. Get out of punching, range so to speak. Maintain a safe distance.

    • @user-nr6uh3ld3m
      @user-nr6uh3ld3m ปีที่แล้ว +3

      What if they're your coworkers whom you have to see every single day?

    • @RafaeoNobre1
      @RafaeoNobre1 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      this is so true, so true

    • @mastermedicalterms
      @mastermedicalterms ปีที่แล้ว +14

      the courage to speak up and confront when you can’t distance yourself is a must.

    • @eyixon
      @eyixon 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Bruh, i had a "friend" who used to make me the butt of jokes and all that. I stopped dealing with her because i couldnt take it anymore. One time skip later, i find out that she actually liked me and did those things to be petty. Second, she followed me on instagram and tried messaging me. I ignored her, even after she mad several attempts. Just a month ago, one of my homeboys told me about what she was up to, but i had no idea since i didnt even look at her page. We both find out that she literally hid her posts and Stories from me. lol

    • @tevinbenoit933
      @tevinbenoit933 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@user-nr6uh3ld3m tell them to watch they fucking mouth….and fuck that job you can always get a new one

  • @FT4Freedom
    @FT4Freedom 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1952

    Stand your ground early and often. Your friends list will be for real.

    • @prashanthb6521
      @prashanthb6521 5 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      Correct advice.

    • @hotpil7020
      @hotpil7020 5 ปีที่แล้ว +96

      Yes. Will be very very short but real.

    • @iliveinsideyourhouse3943
      @iliveinsideyourhouse3943 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      I have 0 friends lol

    • @BlueFlyer83
      @BlueFlyer83 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      And that friends list is going to be small too, which there's nothing wrong with that.

    • @Gweidemann
      @Gweidemann 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Like Nike says 'Just do it.'

  • @umermahmood
    @umermahmood 5 ปีที่แล้ว +969

    I used to be a doormat for people mostly in my teens and early 20's, and then one day I decided to face my fears and the more I did it, the more assertive I became and people around me were in shock. Exactly what you're saying Jocko.

    • @jordanroyal9762
      @jordanroyal9762 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Nice!

    • @EJ-zx5cz
      @EJ-zx5cz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Umer Mahmood nice story bro . now make me that sandwich!!!

    • @evenvals7968
      @evenvals7968 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      @@EJ-zx5cz *growls*

    • @umermahmood
      @umermahmood 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @Eric Zombrow Perhaps yes my dude. It's not an easy journey to face oneself and the belief systems you unconsciously take on.

    • @demo3456
      @demo3456 5 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      I've lived through the same thing..it never surprises me how people react to me when I finally put that line on the ground..amd it always seems to make me the asshole..I'm still working on my timing with growl to bite..

  • @glendarelli
    @glendarelli 3 ปีที่แล้ว +271

    I drop anyone that consistently insult me. Just like Jocko said once.."every second counts" well every insult affects you and your self esteem over time. My definition of friendship is mutual respect.

    • @flyaway6671
      @flyaway6671 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      My real friends would not take pleasure in hurting me even if the opportunity arises, it's actually a good way to see people's true faces, the problem is in my experience, the large majority of people will take advantage of you.
      Keep those rare gems who are real friends close.

    • @EbikeAdventures667
      @EbikeAdventures667 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Amen

    • @xoMrsWentzxo
      @xoMrsWentzxo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      100% agree

  • @Jim-Bob-Billy-Joe-Johnson
    @Jim-Bob-Billy-Joe-Johnson 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3011

    Most people talk with their hands. Jocko talks with a knife.

    • @54356776
      @54356776 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @Sean Ware
      That's the worst thing you could do, I'd just let him have the knife.

    • @Legionarivss
      @Legionarivss 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@54356776 For sure. Either way, when he decides to use it on you, it doesn't matter if you got your own knife or not.

    • @scorpio1154
      @scorpio1154 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Right

    • @leisurelyarting
      @leisurelyarting 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I should start waving knives when drawing lines with people hahaha😂

    • @igkgigoh
      @igkgigoh 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @Sean Ware I'd think about that twice, because that only means that Jocko will have two knives

  • @sammylenjou4235
    @sammylenjou4235 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2242

    If you have narcissistic parents, you get raised to be a doormat...not only to your parents but for everyone.
    Then you get bullied in school and at work of course.
    First step is : realizing this.
    Second step : stand up for yourself in a kind manner but every second of the day.
    This will break your habit and other people's habit over time.
    Word of caution :
    Narcissistic parents will start a war on you the first year.
    Do not comply in any way, but stay calm and just say no.
    This is my experience.
    *UPDATE 22TH JULY 2023*
    I found cognitive behavioral therapy, this will help us manage negative emotions like anger, frustrations, fear, ... when they get triggered by for example a narcissist, And not keeping them in but expressing these emotions in a calm conversation, setting our boundaries (which I never learned) before these emotions destroy us on the inside. In my case my digestion.
    It could be really helpful to find and start this therapy.
    Good luck warriors 🤞🏻💪🏻

    • @piehound
      @piehound 5 ปีที่แล้ว +163

      Over 70 here. And i've come to realize you're right. Both my parents were artists. It doesn't get any more narcissistic than that. For me staying calm has been (and still is) the tough part. Been in psychiatric hospital twice. Therapy with second rate psychologists hasn't helped any. Realizing that the initial cause of my problems is narcissistic parents helps a lot. They always told me "YOU'RE SHY." *THEY'RE* the ones who raised me that way. Looking back on many significant events i now see the pattern quite clearly. Thanks for putting into words what i have felt but never been able to put my finger on.

    • @joanofarc1470
      @joanofarc1470 5 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      quaz imodo you are very right. I was raised and designed to be compliant and agreeable. If I wasn’t I was left out. A lot of mental unhealthy behaviors. We survived the situation. Now I am realizing it and hope to overcome some of this

    • @katanaclipse4582
      @katanaclipse4582 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Elegantly put Sammy, awesome comment 👍

    • @tobiahtoviyahgoodnessof349
      @tobiahtoviyahgoodnessof349 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      Our Narcissistic parents are unchangeable

    • @katanaclipse4582
      @katanaclipse4582 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @springmasskid92 Go because you want to become stronger and free from their grip. Don't go because they have told you too, sounds like another means of putting you down/controlling. When YOUR ready then start searching for a therapist. 👍🐒

  • @AustinStross
    @AustinStross 2 ปีที่แล้ว +172

    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”- Dr. Seuss🙌🏻💯

    • @Mel.U
      @Mel.U ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Your quote is the best advice and has more merit than most videos I've watched

    • @god563616
      @god563616 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

    • @laroy1647
      @laroy1647 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Dr Seuss spiting facts!

  • @Coolguy-me8ug
    @Coolguy-me8ug 5 ปีที่แล้ว +413

    I’ve very recently started becoming more assertive in my personal and professional life and have established healthy boundaries. I let people know that I’m not a doormat with how I carry myself and how I speak. Throughout my entire teenage years up until now (27 years old) I’ve let people abuse my kindness and take advantage of my good nature. Not anymore!

    • @chinto6389
      @chinto6389 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Good for you man, people definitely love to take advantage of kindness. Hope all is well 💯

    • @bigsmall2842
      @bigsmall2842 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Always be giving and kind, but you also have to be firm as well. Otherwise you’ll get abused over and over again

    • @brianbruhhh5170
      @brianbruhhh5170 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@bigsmall2842 I’m learning this the hard way unfortunately, to be firm. But life goes on ya live and ya learn.

    • @carparthero
      @carparthero 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      so what happened?? did people respect you or get upset? betcha yo friend list shrunk, which is not a bad thing.

    • @ChurlzVA
      @ChurlzVA 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@carparthero eh, if they didn't respect him as a friend, then fuck 'em lol

  • @BetaBuxDelux
    @BetaBuxDelux 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2947

    Dear Jocko, I’ve started growling at my coworkers and they’ve begun to avoid me. Please advise on next steps.

    • @Firm-Tofu-King
      @Firm-Tofu-King 5 ปีที่แล้ว +308

      Murder them all in an arson attack

    • @scottishrestorian1999
      @scottishrestorian1999 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @Nobody’s Shadow correction , Capital A , after Mission. Le darkness brings forth light from the Shadows

    • @vaylista9208
      @vaylista9208 5 ปีที่แล้ว +236

      Start meowing, people like meowing.

    • @sayerslayer1854
      @sayerslayer1854 5 ปีที่แล้ว +104

      Excellent work. Now shit in office and pee on desk, then eat dirt from flower pot and turn on the bathroom sink and leave on. Run away barking

    • @EJ-zx5cz
      @EJ-zx5cz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Sayer Slayer oh shyt!!! that was funny

  • @Zamstein
    @Zamstein 2 ปีที่แล้ว +358

    Also a note on agreeableness: make sure your agreeableness isn’t actually a trauma response to avoid rejection or perceived abandonment. This will usually be accompanied by a feeling of entitlement “I did this for them so they should treat me well in return”. Being a kind, good and honest person is far superior to any kind of agreeableness for any reason.

    • @okaycola2
      @okaycola2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      They will never treat you the same as you treat them BUT if you act the way they act you will be reprimanded 😂psychos

    • @adedokun1adedoyin
      @adedokun1adedoyin 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This is gold

    • @gotchaspookedyagaming2396
      @gotchaspookedyagaming2396 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wow, that is very very true

    • @anon-tk1zg
      @anon-tk1zg 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Exactly right. I am working on this.

    • @FruityHachi
      @FruityHachi 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      wanting to be treated well when you treat others well is not a feeling of entitlement, but a primal desire to avoid pain encoded in our brain which every animal has
      you would not tell a woman that she feels entitled when she thinks "I cooked for him so he should not hit me"

  • @reliablethreat23
    @reliablethreat23 5 ปีที่แล้ว +588

    The best way to avoid these situations is by commanding respect from the very beginning! Once you allow people to feel like they can walk all over you, it's too late. Because the day you finally decide to "put your foot down", YOU become the "bad guy" when you finally explode on someone. Make people respect you from the get go! Never be afraid to put people in their place!

    • @rayz0rxxx
      @rayz0rxxx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      once its too late, you gotta leave them and start back with new people

    • @tontsar91
      @tontsar91 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Exactly 100%.

    • @Staci-523
      @Staci-523 3 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      True, but better late than never. At least you let them know and you can move forward with or without them.

    • @brianbruhhh5170
      @brianbruhhh5170 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Learned this the hard way. But moving forward💯💪🏻

    • @absolutenothing7094
      @absolutenothing7094 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      not that it's gonna be any different in terms of effect but you don't have to snap at them to put your foot down, you can just usee the same tactics as they do. make fun of them back. but again, it's not gonna have any difference in terms of effect, you'll still be seen as the bad guy.

  • @andremotivation6561
    @andremotivation6561 5 ปีที่แล้ว +305

    Ironically, the folks that do this, end up being sensitive as fuck when YOU get back at them lol

    • @valerieortiz1477
      @valerieortiz1477 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      yes!

    • @ChurlzVA
      @ChurlzVA 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Exactly lol. It pisses them off that they can no longer control you like before.

    • @tomsl7111
      @tomsl7111 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      True Story...actually, I have gotten back at that type of folks more than once.

    • @tfh5575
      @tfh5575 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      this girl at work has no problem being extremely mean to everyone but if you even respond with 5% of the same energy she cries and plays victim 😵‍💫

  • @rumandbass
    @rumandbass 4 ปีที่แล้ว +488

    There are three things all wise men fear: The sea in a storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man

  • @watchingfromtheshadows1338
    @watchingfromtheshadows1338 5 ปีที่แล้ว +551

    People treat you like a doormat when they take you for granted. Disappear for a bit and see if that works.

    • @jamesmiller5331
      @jamesmiller5331 5 ปีที่แล้ว +142

      It's real fun when you disappear and no one gives a shit...

    • @newhorizon1355
      @newhorizon1355 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Really bro they don't give two fks.

    • @xyoopridex
      @xyoopridex 5 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      nothing's gonna happen, they just move on to the next one and that's all...

    • @fg1110
      @fg1110 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      That doesn't fix the problem of being a push over

    • @thelegendkillersshittyduff1335
      @thelegendkillersshittyduff1335 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@jamesmiller5331 hate those fucking people

  • @RafaelBenedicto
    @RafaelBenedicto 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2538

    I don't think Echo's biceps skin can take any more of the internal pressure.

    • @wildbill9863
      @wildbill9863 5 ปีที่แล้ว +231

      I think his biceps are pregnant

    • @joepurcell1122
      @joepurcell1122 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Echo looking jaaacked! Need the “how to do curls with anything” workout video

    • @finalcountdown3210
      @finalcountdown3210 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I didn't notice how huge they're actually getting, haha

    • @technobrend0
      @technobrend0 5 ปีที่แล้ว +102

      The only thing stronger than Echo's arms are the stitching inside his sleeves.

    • @TheMoodyedge
      @TheMoodyedge 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Heart prob cant take anymore steroids either

  • @noaboa5670
    @noaboa5670 3 ปีที่แล้ว +160

    Became friends with every bully I’ve ever had. Almost every reason for why they picked on me was because I didn’t care how people viewed me and it bothered them I didn’t need that approval. I just cared how I view myself. I know too many people who let random people live in their head when that person probably doesn’t even know who they are. The problems of a generation that promoted narcissism distanced humbleness and ignores originality. The realm of basic accountability is just lost to so many.

    • @maxstewart3460
      @maxstewart3460 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You have superpowers, my guy. Truly being able to not care about shitty opinions must be such a blessing.

    • @noaboa5670
      @noaboa5670 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@maxstewart3460 there will always be shitty opinions outside of your control to do anything about. Also it helps to understand more people just want to be affirmed than they even care about said opinions. I think it’s healthy to assume most individuals just project hot takes purely because it gets them attention.

    • @plbeckman
      @plbeckman ปีที่แล้ว

      Very well put. A plus.

    • @mastermedicalterms
      @mastermedicalterms ปีที่แล้ว

      that a skill that worth a billion

    • @eyixon
      @eyixon 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      This is so true! I became friends with childhood bully and he said something similar. Apparently i give off the "indifference" vibe. They always wanna know what youre thinking and it bothers them.

  • @kubasniak
    @kubasniak 5 ปีที่แล้ว +241

    Set boundaries early. Even If its "too late" then stand your ground. People will go 180 too and try to shame you, double down or question your behavior trying to make you feel guilty aka mirroring. Don't give in to gaslighting and those manipulation tactics. GET FUCKING MAD LAD AND TELL EM TO FUCK OFF! Don't think what they will think. Do you and let them know theyre piece of shit meaning nothing to you. Seek new environment If you need to. Never doubt or question yourself in those situations. You will look needy, clingy, like you care about them and they will fucking suck life out of you like vampires and bully you again!

    • @kubasniak
      @kubasniak 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Also know how to laugh at yourself. Don't do it too much otherwise your self esteem will start dropping...

    • @kuma8293
      @kuma8293 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Dude that's so true. Funny, I came across this video because I have some people at my apartment complex office who tried to bully me and use pressure tactics to get me to renew my lease and I drew the line for them several times and they kept on trying, then when I called them out on their shit they started lying and doing the old "shame you, and question your behavior" techniques. I called them out on that as well.

    • @flowerbloom5782
      @flowerbloom5782 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      thanks.

  • @tomusannonymous
    @tomusannonymous 4 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    100% set boundaries early, which means respecting yourself all the time. Some ppl take advantage of you for your lack of boundaries and want you to stay that way and will try hard to keep you that way. Its best to just to end these relationships. Setting boundaries late in the relationship doesnt always work. And can be taken as an insult (like youre trying to distance yourself and put less into the relationship). Narcs overstep your boundaries and will test you to see how much they can exploit you.

    • @RafaeoNobre1
      @RafaeoNobre1 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you so much, where can I read more about this?

  • @amandasligar9269
    @amandasligar9269 4 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    I've had friends, family, etc. throughout my life push me to the point where I either lost my temper or cried my eyes out from complete frustration. They pick, push and take your ass to the brink of insanity.

    • @screamingtrees9619
      @screamingtrees9619 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Mmmm amen.

    • @pablom-f8762
      @pablom-f8762 3 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Some don't know what they doing, others do it on purpose. Put some distance between you and them if you can, you MUST come first. You don't need to be a saint al all times and take it, you just need to be morally consistent with yourself.

    • @wardarahman1757
      @wardarahman1757 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sameeee

    • @metalrocker627
      @metalrocker627 ปีที่แล้ว

      Maybe it’s you? Or some degree of it being you? So, you’re all right and they’re all wrong, huh?

    • @StinkyGringo
      @StinkyGringo ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@metalrocker627 what part of getting mistreated would be their fault exactly?

  • @Justin-xd7zj
    @Justin-xd7zj 5 ปีที่แล้ว +602

    When passive people blow up it can be a scary thing

    • @georgemargaris
      @georgemargaris 5 ปีที่แล้ว +70

      yeah, passive people definitely need to exercise their „aggressivity“ a bit more. There are multiple levels of reactivity in-between 0 and 100 that they are not aware of, that‘s why they immediately go to „red alert“. In my own quest to learn this the most important lesson was to not have false expectations, instead know exactly what to expect from each person around you. Very simple example: why start a conversation with the person who never even bothers to properly greet you? Or: watch how people treat others. That‘s exactly how they are going to treat you too... just wait. Once you learn to categorize people like that you can prevent a lot of chaos, and should someone escalate you are at least not shocked, because you sort of expected this anyway, therefor you will not freeze (which is often what happens to people with wrong expectations)

    • @EliteWarrior13
      @EliteWarrior13 5 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      I tend to scare the fuck out of people. Been called a psycho more than once.

    • @lahamilia1308
      @lahamilia1308 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Like a kettle boiling over

    • @Justin-xd7zj
      @Justin-xd7zj 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      hamster in the machine you can avoid a lot of drama just by being quiet and watching how the people around you move

    • @Mr.DudeMan2872
      @Mr.DudeMan2872 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      I can relate, in high school I was a relatively passive and anti-social person. Then one day when I was walking to class, four guys were messing around with each other and one of them accidentally bumped into me then didn't acknowledge me afterwards and the four of them kept on with messing with each other as they moved forwards. A violent rage instantly fell over me and I charged the one that bumped into me and violently pushed him into his three friends while aggressively yelling "Why the fuck did you push me bro?" I then started walking backwards to where I was heading while shouting "Fuck off bro." All the while the four of them were staring at me while leaning backwards like I was a maniacal psychopath.
      Thankfully no fight broke out though.

  • @deannahulon2841
    @deannahulon2841 5 ปีที่แล้ว +245

    I used to be a doormat for those that always wanted me to help them get things done. And I wasn't getting my own things done, so I just started to make myself unavailable. I just became too busy to be helpful to people that didnt value me or my time.

    • @marshamcdonald1475
      @marshamcdonald1475 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      My family only calls when they
      Want me to give / do something for them. And they never say thank you.Otherwise I would never hear from them.

    • @tobiahtoviyahgoodnessof349
      @tobiahtoviyahgoodnessof349 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Narcissistic parents are the worst

    • @MrTimjm009
      @MrTimjm009 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same propblem I always used to find myself in. So I agree just say you are busy , sorry pal , Im up to my neck in it . The other way is to ask them for a favour for a change and when they say no just just say ok , well , rembember that then next time you ask me for another favour . Mention all the times you did stuff for them , now they owe you etc

    • @moonkatmagic5599
      @moonkatmagic5599 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes, we need to learn to say no. So hard for some

    • @xinonamiiumx
      @xinonamiiumx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@moonkatmagic5599 Told ne stepmom no now my dad wants me to apologize.🙃😤💀

  • @wadeparker8695
    @wadeparker8695 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    It depends on how much you’ve been beaten down picked on and bullied throughout your life and sometimes you stood up for yourself and sometimes you didn’t. Most the time you didn’t. Then you get older. Then when these things happen you are hypersensitive to it, you do think about it, you ruminate on it. You think about killing the person. You have to take medication to keep you calm and try to get on with your day and you swear to yourself that if anyone does it today you’re going to stand up for yourself. So when the time comes that someone even slightly insults you or picks on you or seemingly bullies you, you explode. Don’t let it go too far! Always stand up for yourself! If you don’t it’ll eat you alive. It’s not so easy to just say “don’t let it get to you “. Stay hard

    • @zacharydwight2296
      @zacharydwight2296 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Great post bro. I can totally relate to this.

    • @AslanGRR
      @AslanGRR ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you

    • @4bbas296
      @4bbas296 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hi this is a great comment, thanks for it i needed this

  • @dannyarnold4201
    @dannyarnold4201 5 ปีที่แล้ว +264

    *_I've got this problem in my life as well._*
    *_And I realize what Jocko said about balance is 100%. My mistake in the past is ignoring it too much. They then get to where they think it's alright._*
    *_People treat you the way you allow them to treat you._*
    *_When it comes to the ones that we didn't nip it in the bud in the beginning with them, sometimes we've got to sever them out of our lives. Because they're not going to stop, now that they think it's okay to treat you like a doormat._*
    *_You won't miss them. Believe me. Your world will just keep on turning. Plus, they ARE going to notice your absence and they will realize their behavior is the reason for it._*

    • @blair8225
      @blair8225 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Daniel Arnold good comment

    • @ViaExsanguinate
      @ViaExsanguinate 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Well said.

    • @dannyarnold4201
      @dannyarnold4201 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      *_Thank you,_* @@blair8225.

    • @dannyarnold4201
      @dannyarnold4201 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      *_And thank you,_* @@ViaExsanguinate.

    • @WhiteAngelLovesEarth
      @WhiteAngelLovesEarth 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      IT'S BECAUSE PARENTS DIDN'T TEACH US ANYTHING -_-

  • @turbostatic1
    @turbostatic1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +181

    1:01 "I think I got a good idea on how to..." *Whilst gripping stabby tool*

  • @mortyross
    @mortyross 4 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    My first Law Professor in College was Dr. Brian Terry. His nickname was “Terry The Terrible” He was a Marine, and taught through intimidation. Every class meant four hours of homework - 11 law briefs. He changed me from an animal house mentality, to learning how to study, prepare, and get good grades. It was the only Trimester that I got a 4.0 GPA. Thanks to him, I learned how to become a student. He never took any crap from anyone, yet challenged everyone to work harder and get much greater results. He didn't care if he was hated. It was not his goal to become our buddy. I and some others were very grateful for his barking. His barking meant Transformation. I learned more from him then any other class that I ever took.

    • @okaycola2
      @okaycola2 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Gangggg

    • @rubalcaba1984
      @rubalcaba1984 ปีที่แล้ว

      He did earn respect though.

    • @williamhermann6635
      @williamhermann6635 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This reminds me of a doctor i crossed paths with during my paramedic training. He was chief of trauma surgery at a major trauma center where I was training. Former army doc who was part time on the SWAT team for kicks. Most intense human being Ive ever met. I did an overnight clinical on Cinco de Mayo, which if you know anything about healthcare, warm weather holidays are usually the craziest nights. Anywho, this doc was on call that night and the ER got overrun with major traumas so he was forced to come in. Within minutes you could hear him screaming from one room to the next. Eventually he makes it to the room I was working in (a trauma patient who literally got curb stomped American History X style) and began screaming at the female nurses who were struggling to start an IV and the resident doc who was failing to intubate. I was the only male in the room. The nurse next to me was shaking like a leaf on a tree and was completely incapable of starting the IV at that moment. Through the screaming I was able to start the IV. The screaming stopped and he patted me on the back and told me good job. Never felt more validated in my life. As I got to know him over the next year, I discovered that he was actually an excellent teacher who loved teaching students but demanded excellence from those he invested his time with. I'll never forget that guy. His methods were brash and likely inappropriate for the civilian setting but he pushed people, including myself, to greater heights than they believed themselves capable of. I'll forever be thankful for him.

    • @michigan1085
      @michigan1085 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@williamhermann6635yeah but he sounds like he tore down more people than he built up. Glad he helped you tho. I’m in the medical field and it’s not good when someone is yelling like that in an already chaotic atmosphere

    • @laaaliiiluuu
      @laaaliiiluuu 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@michigan1085Yeah. Some people arr just jerks unloading bs onto others and call it dominance.

  • @nickp3949
    @nickp3949 4 ปีที่แล้ว +337

    The thing I have an issue with when it comes to “laughing it off” is that people take that as a sign of “cool, i can bully this person and they won’t do shit”. In situations where I “laugh it off”, I’ve been pulled to the side by a friend who said “dude, you gotta stand up for yourself man”. Yeah people might not be thinking about you when they go home. But when they’re chilling with you in that same group, they’re gonna target you again...for being the easy target. So where’s the line?

    • @kizmutyaba4965
      @kizmutyaba4965 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Say what you feel. The great Paul Mooney said the truth will defend itself

    • @PqV72MT4
      @PqV72MT4 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      I agree. Don't let any one get away with insulting you. Ever.

    • @rotweilerdc
      @rotweilerdc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Better to have a witty comeback than to just laugh it off

    • @lukeclark3506
      @lukeclark3506 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@PqV72MT4 l believe a woman was a bit disrespectful and rude to me cause l was a cleaner. She said something like “you over there, what’s your name.. Lucas” l walked up to her in a kind manner and told her my name and she was shocked about it.

    • @AlienK-cycromegreenplanet
      @AlienK-cycromegreenplanet 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Stand your ground it’s not like they’re going to go home and remember you standing your ground

  • @Firm-Tofu-King
    @Firm-Tofu-King 5 ปีที่แล้ว +596

    Sometimes people dont get the message unless you shove it in their face

    • @scottishrestorian1999
      @scottishrestorian1999 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      3.14

    • @scottishrestorian1999
      @scottishrestorian1999 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Bartwon In the Pit

    • @demo3456
      @demo3456 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      With the backhand

    • @dlucasgalt
      @dlucasgalt 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @jay that's assault, the equal and opposite reaction would be an arm bar...lol

    • @altonprayer8727
      @altonprayer8727 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @jay Ain't no way in the hell she would've done that s*** to me! People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. That was very inappropriate on the manager's part. I've never treated my subordinates in that way.

  • @GabrielGarcia-300
    @GabrielGarcia-300 4 ปีที่แล้ว +241

    I've noticed for years, no matter where I lived, people can treat you like crap, but if you say anything back, you're the bad guy. Even if it's the first time

    • @noweare1
      @noweare1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      So be the "bad" guy better than being treated like crap. Easy choice.

    • @tattooedmommy9541
      @tattooedmommy9541 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Everything is always my fault no matter what even when I stand up for myself

    • @aprilchow-chee5281
      @aprilchow-chee5281 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Then be the bad guy. That's better than being the doormat it's better to let them know their place with you from the jump

    • @SophisticatedDogCat
      @SophisticatedDogCat ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Yup. I’ve even had them go to HR. Treat me like trash, talk behind my back, and I decide to confront them one day. Didn’t even cuss, didn’t even call them anything, just said I don’t appreciate how they talk to me. Well then they went to HR and complained against me.

    • @gregoryporch8395
      @gregoryporch8395 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I agree, just be the bad guy and remind your opponent he ain't king of shit. I've generally found that if you call people out for being disrespectful they at least get put back on their toes.

  • @thepsychocybe7078
    @thepsychocybe7078 5 ปีที่แล้ว +292

    That knife makes me think Jocko is keeping his co-host hostage.

    • @THE_starwalk
      @THE_starwalk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      You can't kill Echo Charles, he is highly trained.

    • @Rumplefrumple
      @Rumplefrumple 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      doubt he normally needs a knife

    • @needyouknow8932
      @needyouknow8932 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@THE_starwalk considering Jocko spent his whole career on a kill team he would get the job done pretty easy.

    • @theartemisgland
      @theartemisgland 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Co-hostage because Jocko is so OP he keeps himself hostage too.

    • @VeryThatDiana
      @VeryThatDiana 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ahahhaa

  • @jackedhorse
    @jackedhorse 5 ปีที่แล้ว +412

    You train people how to treat you and you live what you allow.

    • @gaple1995
      @gaple1995 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jhanero Evans A thing I like to employ to test the waters of their “jokes” is to dish it right back in the same form. Almost ALWAYS they get furiously offended and stand there gobsmacked because they never expect someone so “agreeable” to sock them. And I’m like yeah STFU you coward ass bitch. They never do it again because they know I’ll maul them even worse next time.

    • @billywatson9821
      @billywatson9821 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This is so true. Stand up for yourself. You can do it in a mature way!

  • @barbaricvm0
    @barbaricvm0 2 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    Here's a personal story from me, and it's a story which, I think, shows the importance of standing up for yourself, and putting your foot down. I hope it can help to the young guys out there, those who are like I used to be.
    Back in highschool, I was a pretty harmless guy, got along with people pretty well, never picked fights with people etc. One day during class, our professor which was quite a strict guy, and his subject was super hard, most of us were barely scraping by, this guy leaves the classroom and says he has an emergency, and that he will be back in about 15-20 minutes, we are to do our assignments and stay in class.
    Our class didn't have a single girl, so you can imagine how most of us reacted to such orders. Some guys began making a proper fucking mess in the class, yelling, throwing sh*t around etc. Suddenly the school principal walks in, he was walking around in the hallway, trying to investigate where all this noise is coming from, and he was proper fu*king furious. We were in big trouble, because of these 3-4 main trouble makers, most of us were still sitting down just talking but these 4 started literally flipping tables and sh*t.
    Our professor comes back and principal tells him what happened, that the entire school complained about our class, and he tells him he's gonna sort it out. Boy we were in some deep sh*t, our professor told us we will have no chance at fixing our grades from tests, most of us would pretty much get an F and we would later try to fix them, and he was going to take that right away from us if we don't point out who was flipping tables.
    He gave each of us a piece of paper, and said that we are to write who did it there, and leave the papers on his table. We all made a pact not to tell who did it, and leave the papers blank or say like.. I don't know, for example. Fast forward >> to the end of the school day, someone snitched and told the professor who did it, and everyone was wondering who it was. We had a break, and I was outside sitting with my friends, and one of my friends walks up to me and tells me that one of the guys from class told everyone that I was the one who snitched those guys out to professor. Mind you I have no idea why would I be the guy to do that but he decided that it was clear enough that I was the one to blame.
    I swear to God, I have never been so angry in my life, i stood up from the bench, went into our class and found this guy sitting in there. This guy was about double my size, i was 5'9 and he was like 6'2, I yelled my lungs out at this guy, asked him how the hell can he accuse me of that, where is his evidence, and this guy legitimately shat himself there, he didn't utter a single word, everyone else from class was watching this go down and nobody said anything, for the first time in my life, I stood up for myself there and then, it's a different tone of voice that comes out of you, I'm telling you, It's this deep commanding voice that shuts everyone up and makes them listen to what you have to say. After I was done yelling at him, i just went and sat down in class, and calmed down after a while.
    Then, I learned, I only stand up for myself when someone really steps on my toe, because i'm usually a pretty easy going guy, i make jokes, make people laugh, i make jokes at my own account mostly, and I don't mind if people make jokes at my account, even if they overdo it, I tolerate a lot, but if things really go into radical, only then I bite back. I don't know if it was a good thing to react in such a way, but it cleared me of all blame, in everyone's eyes. And it showed to me that I can, in fact stand up for myself, and that I am not as toothless as I always thought I was.
    The next time i would stand up for myself in that manner, would happen years later, when I stood up to my tyrannical father, who was an alcoholic which was starting to take it out on his family, not physically, mind you, but verbally. After I stood up to him, after that same commanding voice came from the depths of my being, and yelled at him, he ceased drinking so much, he even went to a doctor and found out he was nearing liver cirrhosis. My family was trying to get him to see a doctor for years and he didn't listen to them, and instead kept his sh*tty habits, anybody who has an alcoholic in the family knows how hard it is to get these people to seek medical help. In one day when he stepped on his son's toes, only then he learned that there are boundaries that he needs to respect, and that he has a problem. Funny enough, after visiting the doctor, and finding out about his terrible health, it was the first time in my life that I seen him drink water... If that day I didn't stand up to him, he would not be alive today, I can almost bet on that.
    So yeah, a bit of a personal story from me, but there, watch what people say, and stand up for what is important and what matters, but beware, there is always a risk there, with the first story from high school, i could have gotten into a really bad fight with that guy, which was again - double my size, so you can imagine who would win there, and with my father, the same thing could happen and i could have been kicked out of the house for my behaviour, but these are the risks i accepted then, and was fully aware of these possibilities.

    • @CoachingbyCade
      @CoachingbyCade 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ❤️💪🏼

    • @kacanghijau166
      @kacanghijau166 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey that's awesome I'm tearing up a little bit because I don't think I could ever do that. Girls are mean too but they usually use passive aggressive behavior and if I use higher tone somehow I ended up being the aggressors.

    • @laurab972
      @laurab972 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Man I hope you are doing well today! You are blessed to have learned this early on in life!❤

    • @semmywap2916
      @semmywap2916 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thank you for sharing your experiences brother

    • @ohcrikey9560
      @ohcrikey9560 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You did these things because you were angry. But a truly strong character draws that line before they get angry. They stay cool and composed and say their piece assertivly without shouting.

  • @shr00mhead
    @shr00mhead 5 ปีที่แล้ว +430

    If people are treating you like a doormat, pull yourself out from under them without warning.

    • @tiffanyjohnson172
      @tiffanyjohnson172 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Best. Advice. Ever.

    • @Stoic-ds4so
      @Stoic-ds4so 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      This was my whole 2019, concluding with a lowkey manipulative relative on 2nd January. No time for the bs in 2020, groundwork has been laid and change is in motion 👌🏾

    • @nightfighter7452
      @nightfighter7452 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I that's the exact opposite of what jocko was saying lol

    • @lukeakerboom6298
      @lukeakerboom6298 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂😂

    • @yeeeha5674
      @yeeeha5674 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nightfighter7452 :')

  • @TomikaKelly
    @TomikaKelly 5 ปีที่แล้ว +173

    He needs to learn assertiveness. His default is passivity and his limit is aggression, but he needs to learn to be assertive.

    • @neilghosh3821
      @neilghosh3821 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Tomika Kelly how do you do that? Easy to laugh it off but there is a limit. Like what should passive people say to assert themselves?

    • @OviLVR8
      @OviLVR8 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@neilghosh3821 Saying something....that's it. Saying nothing makes you passive.

    • @morningsong8077
      @morningsong8077 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Tomika Kelly True, but it must be learned, and it’s very hard to do when you have been raised to believe that boundaries and assertiveness make you a bad person.

    • @TonaldDrump686
      @TonaldDrump686 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@morningsong8077 This person understands.

    • @CoachingbyCade
      @CoachingbyCade 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@morningsong8077 100% bro!

  • @ianmaxm25
    @ianmaxm25 2 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    I don’t usually watch these podcasts on youtube but I think it’s amazing how Jocko just casually holds and gestures with a knife in his hand

    • @ILoveJakeShort
      @ILoveJakeShort 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Right 😭😂 I was laughing at that

  • @mkultra6664
    @mkultra6664 5 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Love how Jocko is teaching tolerance and wielding a Zero Tolerance knife.

    • @benanderson4639
      @benanderson4639 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I was wondering what the knife was

  • @WyteChinpira
    @WyteChinpira 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Be your own Boss when making money, Live in your own House, Be In Control in all situations, You will see the respect go up when your in a position of power no matter what...but most importantly...When you are in a position of power..treat others with respect, Don't become but what you despise. That's what I learned in life.

  • @BBFCCO733
    @BBFCCO733 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    So true. I find so many people can be so rude and mocking. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I am getting sick of being treated like crap and went from one extreme of saying nothing to snapping and its true I realize people take advantage of this and never see their rudeness beforehand but blame your reaction. I am trying to learn a middle ground.

  • @kathleene99
    @kathleene99 2 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    This reminds me of me. I am known to be an aggressive individual. The problem begins with my failure to communicate and set my boundaries. Then I feel taken advantaged or taken for granted and go off. I’m learning to bring up my issues with people regularly not until it’s too late. I no longer want to be defined by my aggression.

    • @stevenrodman7046
      @stevenrodman7046 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same thing happens with me but when you’re aggressive it means your more direct to the point then people don’t want to be around you. When you mellow out and communicate they try to doormat you or even back door you. Fuck that I’m assertive and if you don’t like it oh well🤷🏻

    • @nikereebokpuma3406
      @nikereebokpuma3406 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      If I was your significant other I'd obey you to the max, You are the one that is in total control.
      Everyday, I'd come home from work and the 1 st thing I do, is give you my phone...don't want any distractions, then I'd everything you want done, which must be done to your satisfaction. I'd do whatever you tell me to do with no back talk or arguing.
      On the weekends, I'd do what you want me to do, Before I have my "Free time" ....IF you allow me to have free time!

  • @aaronlee8687
    @aaronlee8687 5 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    “If a wise man contendeth with a foolish man, whether he rage or laugh, there is no rest.” Proverbs 29:9
    Love the podcast. This subject just brought this verse to my mind.

    • @newhorizon1355
      @newhorizon1355 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      A soft answer turns away anger.

    • @Προκείμενον
      @Προκείμενον 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Proverbs and Jesus Sirach are very good books especially in this regard.

  • @carpathianken
    @carpathianken 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    That's why it's so important to express your needs & boundaries with tactful assertiveness before feelings turn into aggression.
    Some really good people get labelled as aggressive & or verbally abusive when they let things get to a point where their reaction is to blow up at the people that piss them off

    • @beewest5704
      @beewest5704 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well said! Also good boundaries make good neighbors.

    • @--SPQR--
      @--SPQR-- 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Can relate

  • @Mandolindo
    @Mandolindo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +322

    "I try to be agreeable". That's the problem.

    • @gnarthdarkanen7464
      @gnarthdarkanen7464 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Exactly... Being agreeable isn't a trial nor a goal to pursue... It's a state with a group. Either you're genuinely agreeable, or you're not.
      If so... great, you've surrounded yourself with decent people who carry similar mindsets... The team can work well together..
      If not, you're better off to find a group that DOES share your general approach and mindset, than to try to fit a square peg into a round hole... move on. ;o)

    • @jhgosnell
      @jhgosnell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Be more REAL....less agreeable.

    • @Ghostrider-71
      @Ghostrider-71 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      If I agree to your statement.......am I being agreeable? Lol.

    • @edwardgenet164
      @edwardgenet164 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

    • @roguespartan2854
      @roguespartan2854 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I get that feeling that this guy doesn't know what he's really talking about more than the ones in the comments.

  • @maninthebox3863
    @maninthebox3863 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    I've done the growl, the bark, and today I stood my ground, in that progression. And it feels AMAZING!

  • @PunkMartyr
    @PunkMartyr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    There was a lot of dv in my home growing up. I learned to either be a chameleon (shift my identity to avoid being in the line of fire) or be invisible. Along with being extremely extremely skinny I was low in assertiveness, high in agreeableness. I got into lifting weights and that helped immensely. I have learned a few things:
    1. Givers/kind people have to have limits and boundaries, because Takers and bad people don’t.
    2. Someones opinion of me does not have to be my reality.
    3. Sometimes standing up for yourself means walking away.
    4. We all sin and hurt people. Forgiveness is a divine trait.
    5. It never was about you. Its about them and their fears and insecurities. They are still down in that dark cave full of shadows. Im looking down wondering why they dont just climb up.
    6. Dont go looking for it but always know you can walk away.
    7. Some people have very serious mental disorders that cause them to behave in a way that hurts the people around them. Set boundaries. Decide if you can see the person separate from the active mental disorder. If you can’t thats ok. Dont have a blowup they are seeking thatw

    • @eyixon
      @eyixon 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well said...i am trying to work on this.

  • @barefootbushman630
    @barefootbushman630 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    It is better to be feared and respected then to be liked and disrespected. Body language and reactions speak volumes. As he said don’t go right into dog attack mode, but keep that up your sleeve. Go along with a joke or two but always have a line. When it’s crossed say something. Otherwise, if you take it to heart it will build up and all come out in an out of character rage. Or you battle it internally. I find with words, the less you say in a direct manner the better. Use solid eye contact. Never show fear in your eyes. There are a lot of toxic people in this world who only find happiness through putting others down. Take that power from them and watch the simple brains spin. Be sure not stoop to there level when the tables have turned, lead by example. 🧨

    • @yfoog
      @yfoog 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Well said mate

  • @CobraAquinas
    @CobraAquinas 5 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    This really helped me a lot, even though it's so simple. I was raised in a small town, and fist fights were regularly common. Nothing extreme just 1 on 1 when people got carried away. Now, that I'm in the corporate world it's tough recognizing the insane things people think they can say to you without repercussions. It's important that I practice standing my ground early.

    • @threethrushes
      @threethrushes 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Haha, I thought that the Law of the Playground ended when I was 8 or 9.
      It was disappointing when I saw the corporate world full of frightened children.

    • @milekrizman
      @milekrizman 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Book Bullies (2002). Every institution should have one.

    • @koalafromtomorrow5656
      @koalafromtomorrow5656 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@threethrushes unfortunately the adult world is worse than that

  • @s-2742
    @s-2742 2 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    I always feel scared when I have to confront someone Idk exactly what I'm scared of but my brain give me this anxiety and I just give in and try to avoid the confrontation and I just realised couple days before that because I was always scared and never stood up for myself most people I knew walked over me my brother my friends everyone knew that I wouldn't do shit so they took advantage of that I decided to stop being a door mat I'm still scared but what sacres me more is how my life's going to be in the future if kept being like this

    • @jnelnormeda4292
      @jnelnormeda4292 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Proud of you 🌱🕊️🔥

    • @darealbroly.8480
      @darealbroly.8480 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This is a great comment. Like you can still be scared and do what needs to be done anyway.

    • @Sarvesh_C
      @Sarvesh_C ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Dude, I feel you. Same shit happens with me. Nobody respects me and roll their eyes when I’m trying to have a conversation. I’ve deeply thought about this and I’ve realised that ever since I was a child i never set any boundaries and let people treat me like garbage. I couldn’t bring myself to talk back because of fear. Yes, this very day like hours before I’ve had my co-worker talk shit to me(he’s my senior and I wanted help with something so I went to ask him for advice and he wouldn’t even pay attention to what I’m saying) yes he did help me but at every second he would throw insults at me making me feel shit. I do feel bad and I’m still angry at that guy, but I’m more angry at myself for being quiet. Every time someone insults me I feel the fear in my heart and I start fumbling my words which gives the other person more power and confidence. I have realised that I have to change this and set proper boundaries but I have no clue how to stand my ground when fear strikes me automatically in such situations. God please help me.

    • @s-2742
      @s-2742 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Sarvesh_C It's gonna be hard for us to set boundaries after being like this for years, but it has to be done just try to make the situation better everyday little improvements on a daily basis till you make it. I know it's tough keep your head up and stay strong bro

    • @kennethoneal7026
      @kennethoneal7026 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lack of experience and if your introverted to the 10th degree like me an argument feels like being imprisoned or sent to war. No in between. You have to build up your own expectations in little ways but cumulative, constructive, without stopping. It gets easier

  • @Tanner8585
    @Tanner8585 5 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Wow . Today I needed this more than ever. I’m in tears right now realizing this is the story of my life and how I keep going from one extreme to the next .....thank you so much Jocko!

    • @Garyandterry
      @Garyandterry 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Lay off the juice it makes you an emotional train wreck this why you are in tears

    • @absolutenothing7094
      @absolutenothing7094 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Garyandterry what are you talking about?? wdym juice??

    • @glorythompson3656
      @glorythompson3656 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too . Hope you feel better and was able to learn setting boundaries

  • @JDCPA80
    @JDCPA80 5 ปีที่แล้ว +861

    How to stop being a doormat? Do biceps curls until you have 26” arms.

    • @maliknedjm3187
      @maliknedjm3187 5 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      What you are saying is so true. I was skinny and always treated like a doormatt. After some weightlifting and 10kg+ they all stopped teasing, and are more respectfull. So becoming big count a lot

    • @krismatt2355
      @krismatt2355 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      I know. Following an illness I lost 40 pounds, my whole experience of life changed. People wanted to dominate me in all types of ways and I had to be in physical fights to assert my ground. People will only respect your size. I am getting back to the gym, let's see if I get tested or even contradicted in a simple conversation in 18 months.

    • @gu3sswh075
      @gu3sswh075 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      JDCPA80 and until you have them striations like Echo. Nobody walking all over him..

    • @Nova-qn9se
      @Nova-qn9se 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      bjj or lifting, or any physical struggle with increase your confidence. Because you learn that shit you thought was super scary, you realized wasnt all that once you actually faced it.

    • @symurai1988
      @symurai1988 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Doormat to speed bump 😂

  • @battlevain
    @battlevain ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Great video. It's hard to know who people are why they are trying to test us, but once you sense your gut telling you to beware of such people, just get ready. Stay calm but let them know by your energy that they are heading into dangerous waters. Distance yourself, limit your time with these people and get ready to end the relationship or to get ready to get into it.

  • @1845Raven
    @1845Raven 5 ปีที่แล้ว +164

    Treated like dormat:
    1. Laugh
    2. Growl like a dog

    • @ariari4133
      @ariari4133 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@cyberserk5614 always keep your calm,

    • @EldradHammer
      @EldradHammer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Bonus points if you do a scooby doo laugh to combine them both.

    • @ariari4133
      @ariari4133 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@EldradHammer there is a book,(trancelate)Netherlands English like i am in the nile,means i am on the river Nijl,wish i had that book stil.you lough you sick,Dutch for i cant stop lough,eh so funny that i get oh my English writing hope you understand,must shoppen later more i hope,its so funny,

    • @ariari4133
      @ariari4133 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Jacob Howell trancelate Netherlande English, vica versa direct .i am in denile ,i am in the nijl the river ik ben in ontkenning,tranclate in. English,hope you ubderstand it ,verry difilcult,its only a joke. Wish i had that book,its trancelate ia form that is literly,it make no Sence its Dutche but they think its. English not usa

    • @CiMcM135
      @CiMcM135 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      1845Raven both at the same time
      Hyena mode

  • @johnferreira9223
    @johnferreira9223 5 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Great talk.....I wish I heard this 20 years ago. It took all my strength in life to not just pull out my gun and smoke them right there on the spot. Im so glad I've never did it. I was pretty much bullied most of my younger life.
    People need to learn about this in school, not all the BS they teach.
    God bless

  • @c.6812
    @c.6812 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This is me, I try so hard to get along with people that I don't communicate my boundaries and it eventually always leads to me getting taken advantage of. Recently this happened with our neighbors, they kept overstepping and we just shrugged it off until one day they took it too far and we got into a big argument. It's awkward now 🙃

  • @roywest6557
    @roywest6557 5 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    when people see me as a push over, and I don't let them have there way, they get mad every time.

    • @NoMoreUsernames
      @NoMoreUsernames 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      roy west Let them get mad then. It’ll teach them to respect your boundaries. I had many friends a few years ago. I started standing my ground, they got mad, lost most of my friends, and am now a happier person. What’s more important to you? Being liked or being respected?

    • @absolutenothing7094
      @absolutenothing7094 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@NoMoreUsernames yeah but then they start talking to your potential friends, teachers or bosses and the next thing you know, you're fired, or excluded or given detention or disliked by your peers.
      it's not easy ignoring when when a large quantity of individuals, and i'd say because of the social influence that you bullies hold, MAJORITY of the individuals that you're surronded by dislikes you, it's not just a mental thing. it's gonna affect you.
      that's why relational aggression is a thing.
      your bullies have higher sociomatric status and if you stand up to them they'll turn you into their local "lowtiergod", or "that vegan teacher" or jake paul, at least that's the perception that your peers will have of you, a crazy freak that's impossible to socialize.

    • @somethingcool7903
      @somethingcool7903 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      They have already been talking shit about you lying backstabbing for a long time now. My guess is they have even convinced them your someone that your are not....for the worst. This happens in the work place especially. People single out the best worker to make them look good and these people will form bonds with other co-workers to strengthen there own bond. Its messed up and jealous envy play a huge part as well as entitlement.

    • @evanunderwood6931
      @evanunderwood6931 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@absolutenothing7094 what does relational aggression mean?

  • @s.e.c.3222
    @s.e.c.3222 4 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I relate with this. I was a total doormat in junior high and throughout my teens and when I started being more assertive and not taking crap from people my whole life changed. I walk with a lot of confidence but there are still those habits that can slide in from time to time but overall it feels good to not give a crap about whether or not people like me.

    • @brianbruhhh5170
      @brianbruhhh5170 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I would always tell myself “I really don’t care what people think about me” yet me being a people pleaser completely contradicted that, I was tolerating behavior that angered me because I cared if people liked me or not. Now I no longer care, I feel like a completely different person, finally cut some bad fruit off the tree.

    • @s.e.c.3222
      @s.e.c.3222 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@brianbruhhh5170 It is very freeing indeed! Stay hard.

  • @abdoulbah8215
    @abdoulbah8215 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    My take: when you meet someone for the first time ex: co-worker, potential friend, Uncle who you never knew you had, a kid or anybody, ask yourself how do you want them to treat you. Do that in the start and know your value.

  • @shirleygeer5376
    @shirleygeer5376 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I have learned to be more declarative in my boundaries so when one of my friends get close to crossing my boundaries I let them know. This way they learn to stop before they cross it

  • @pranakhan
    @pranakhan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +395

    Assertion vs. Aggression. No one know wtf assertion is anymore.

    • @jamesalvarado3961
      @jamesalvarado3961 5 ปีที่แล้ว +76

      Society is more critical of a man being assertive though. When a woman is assertive it's not as harshly scrutinized. Men are demonized more and can be interpreted violently. I'm speaking from experience. Some females can be total assholes and can get away with more versus when a man is assertive and speaks in a powerful tone.

    • @blackflagsofpakistantheeas9109
      @blackflagsofpakistantheeas9109 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@jamesalvarado3961 the one you're talking to is herself a female.
      It's a Pakistani girl name

    • @MarokoJin
      @MarokoJin 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@jamesalvarado3961 nah they're seen as crazy bitches... And I'm saying it as a woman who dealt with these crazy ass women by giving them the cold shoulder while going to their jugular whenever the right occasion shows up, I'll show no mercy for someone who tries to mess me up only because he/she feels that the only way to get success is by stepping on my human dignity and right to pursue happiness (not American but I love that line of their constition!).
      A dude can look like a mad dog if he's just pestering and showing agressive body language for every single stressful or inconvenient condition for him... Not good for work, absolutely not.
      Assertion is about having a relaxed body with an iron stare and a few, impactful words. One short sentence to sum up everything.
      When people see you relaxed, they get the message of no intention of aggression but your eyes speak volumes, as a warning: now it's my eyes but if this shit gets deeper, my body will follow soon.
      If you want to be assertive, you need to LISTEN, do not be in a rush to answer, stay laid back and just observe while listening, you'll be surprised of your own impactful answer!

    • @centanhotbox84
      @centanhotbox84 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@jamesalvarado3961 not true. assertiveness is extremely appreciated

    • @centanhotbox84
      @centanhotbox84 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Better Mouztrap fuck off pussy

  • @esteminor5145
    @esteminor5145 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    People take your kindness as a sign of weaknesses. Even though your being kind to them because you can see that they got nothing in the first place but instead of showing gratitude and be thankful they turn around and make you look like a fool just to puff themselves up. But you know kind people are always secured financially and emotionally. Because they have high values and moral compass system. Kudos to kind people around the world 🌍.

    • @yfoog
      @yfoog 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      For sure. Kind people have true strength

    • @peterechnaton52
      @peterechnaton52 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It is sad but true that generous and kind people are often seen as dumb and therefore one can take advantage of them. Short: A.. holes are often more respected. Sad but true. The problem is: I dont like to be an A...hole. I can be like that, but its not what I want to be.

  • @ModernRegimen
    @ModernRegimen 5 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    It's time to find a new network or group of friends if they don't align with your level of respect; especially if the provocation is relentless and continuous

    • @Richinwisdom
      @Richinwisdom 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      So true.I find the circle around me for the most part is unsupportive, jealous and toxic people.I'm tired and ready to meet some positive and confident people.

    • @Richinwisdom
      @Richinwisdom 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I've definitely started to distance myself from toxic people. I don't have the energy for them.

  • @TomLopez.
    @TomLopez. 5 ปีที่แล้ว +169

    “You gotta draw the line somewhere” while brandishing a knife

    • @dmrc43
      @dmrc43 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Is this brandishing a knife tho?
      I mean I guess.

    • @michaeljohnsonbaugh7962
      @michaeljohnsonbaugh7962 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@dmrc43 To brandish would mean to reveal from concealment. If hes already got it in his hand, then his simply wielding it

    • @sovietninja3
      @sovietninja3 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      What else would you draw with???

    • @kidtricitypw
      @kidtricitypw 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Jocko welding a knife seems as natural as someone else holding a cell phone. It's natural.
      I use a knife all day as a tool at work, and I know there are times I need to warn people that I'm not pulling a knife. I'm a chick and I'm NOT messing up my nails for this job.
      For some of us, a knife is an extra hand. 😜

  • @DeletedUser14790
    @DeletedUser14790 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    The person that Jocko has described is a brief explanation for a narcissist. They will pry,prod,push you around and then act like you're the wrongdoer when you stand up for yourself and call them out for it. It's a game to them and they'll never admit to their wrongs

  • @benjamindanielsen5204
    @benjamindanielsen5204 5 ปีที่แล้ว +309

    If people treat you like a doormat, then keep this thought in mind; If you're a doormat, then now you have all their dirt and know where they hide the keys to their insecurities.

  • @beckonerseven9517
    @beckonerseven9517 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    "They're not thinking about you all the time" *unless* they have pathological narcissism. If you got one over on them or you're a high quality Supply/target, they get obsessive.
    I used to think it was never personal or that it couldn't be all about me, until I had to deal with some malignant Cluster B personalities and it really WAS all about me and they DID have an agenda. The rest was gaslighting to mask its importance

    • @Busterthecat2009
      @Busterthecat2009 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yup!

    • @noweare1
      @noweare1 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, some hideous, defective people out there fr.

    • @cdorothy444
      @cdorothy444 ปีที่แล้ว

      I had an ex online narc friend who stalked me😂

  • @ajaym6795
    @ajaym6795 2 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    People who are muscular, intimidating or influential never seem to give good advice on this subject. That's because they're treated differently. Here's my take:
    Being treated as a doormat doesn't happen to just people pleasers. It can also happen to people who refuse to be fake just to fit in. Whether you're treated as a doormat or not depends on the attitude of the people around you.
    You might be a people pleaser. As a sensible man, I will not take advantage of you for it but I will keep a distance knowing that people pleasers can be difficult in their own ways. A toxic or deceptive person on the other hand will take advantage because of their toxic nature.
    You may continue to be harrassed whether you're silent or aggressive. As a human, you can't always hide your emotions. If someone crosses the line, you have every right to express yourself. Toxic people love it and will continue to harrass you. People who are normal will stop.
    What's the solution then? First, you need to be with a group of reliable friends so that you're not an easy target. It's much easier said than done, especially considering the number of sociopaths that walk around pretending to be good/normal people. I'm highly introverted, so I say this without any bias.
    Without a support group, people will not feel threatened by you. Toxic people need to think that there will be consequences for upsetting you. They're not very brave so that fear will keep them at bay.
    There are more tips that I have. But I'll wait and see if anyone has interest to hear it ... I typed too much already.
    EDIT: This is PART-1

    • @harmanjitkaur2812
      @harmanjitkaur2812 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Omg every word you have written is so dam true. I had a problem in saying no for anything to my so called friends in college. I did everything to fit in, readjusted my schedules for them, made plans on days it was convenient for them, went on places they chose, always drove them around for stuff blah blah. I was living in this whole illusional world of the good and kind girl I created who never says no to anynody. It was untill later that I realized that they never really respected me and treated me like a doormat when they treated that one bossy condescending girl with respect because she always made sure her opinion is the last in any plan we made. When I decided to change it and set some boundaries I turned the bad guy for them who changed. But it was all my fault coz I allowed myself to be treated like the from the get-go. I shattered there delusion of me that I created myself. I realized it was too late and couldn't be fixed, not that I wanted to fix with those assholes.

    • @Ohzee_
      @Ohzee_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You are very right. I am open to hearing more of your advice.

    • @natatattful
      @natatattful 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes please share more advice if you can, this was very helpful.

    • @ajaym6795
      @ajaym6795 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Remember to be easy on yourself. Don't keep regretting the way you reacted or for not responding at all. It's not easy to be in this situation. The offenders are unlikely to do any better if the roles were reversed.
      In most cases, people regret not having said anything back. Even though forgiveness and 'the art of walking away' are admirable, its hard to be that way all the time. If you try, you may feel overwhelmed and wish you had retaliated.
      Sometimes you won't retaliate if you're concerned that you may regret saying something that will make the situation worse. But the pain from not saying anything is usually stronger than the pain of regretting something that was said.
      The best feeling is saying something that is short, clever and catches the offender off guard. The best part is that you don't have to be quick-witted. You just need to be prepared. Identify the type of trouble-makers in your life and craft comebacks for the situations you often find yourself in.
      If you think that takes too much time, then here's something that will be useful:
      ishouldhavesaid.net/
      The above website has a whole bunch of comebacks that have been categorized for different situations, insults and different types of toxic people. Some of the comebacks are awesome, some need to be modified to fit your situation and some can be ignored.
      It's a good starting point. The website is free to use, but they also sell a product to boost your progress
      This is PART-2. I'll wait to see if anyone wants a PART-3

    • @amandaa3713
      @amandaa3713 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ajaym6795
      Hi
      I read your part I and totally in agreemebt.
      I skimmed through part II due to pressing time, knowing that I would agree.
      I was harassed at work by the white folks. By the time, I put my foot down FIRMLY their responsee was exactly how the video described in the first few minutes. It was not that I was not putting my foot diwn at first but just that their low IQ could not comprehend (that included the supervisir who was very jealous and wanted to destroy my IT career as I would start suspecting in about 4 momths abd started putting my fait diwm firmly and then got some confirmation in another 4 months, EVENTUALLY .. after all the shit hit the ceiling becayse ge became violent after not suceeding to get me written up bu the management. I GIT CONCRÈTE EVUDENCE FROM THE CRAP HE PUT IN MY FILE). His white maille ego made him kept up with his plot to destroy me, not realing that he was destroying himeself more because I was not going to back down. Long story. The management offered me to move and I took the offer. At the new place, a couple of white biches tried to pull the same shit as the bitch at the old place whom I never reciprocated because I was not going to stoop
      to her level but this time, I knew I had to not wait till later to stand up. Boy, the two could not handle it but I sticked to my gun.

  • @booni5114
    @booni5114 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Echo's chuckle when Jocko rants always cracks me up.

  • @mortyross
    @mortyross 5 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    I don't mind if others make fun of me. What I do mind is someone who
    lacks intellectual honesty. These people can not be honest with
    themselves, and therefore can not be honest with others, particularly
    when they try using passive aggressiveness. Then I have to string them
    along and trap them in lies with their own words and agenda.

    • @jasonsalistean9192
      @jasonsalistean9192 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Morty Ross This reminds me of my current workplace environment fuck perfectly worded it.

    • @mbfmotorcyclesboatingfishi6779
      @mbfmotorcyclesboatingfishi6779 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That’s what I was doing I was watching them but I was hit from behind now I’ve fallen. And everyone gets away with it!

    • @KarmasAbutch
      @KarmasAbutch 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Wes’s Malibu Stealth 9 fishing yep, same here, then one of them got a promotion while I was off on stress leave from burnout and now I have to report to them AND my assho supervisor they were doing it to me with ... theres a lot of pathological pieces of shit in toxic workplaces not just one... it’s a culture and if u take a stance they mob you.

    • @mbfmotorcyclesboatingfishi6779
      @mbfmotorcyclesboatingfishi6779 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Karma’s a butch
      I just haven’t stopped and I won’t I’ve lost to much aswell as a broken hand I won’t leave now lost my houses, I’ll just fight to the death now. Death is to easy for me now!!

    • @lahamilia1308
      @lahamilia1308 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Life is a lot happier if you actually listen to bob marleys lyrics

  • @nathananderson8720
    @nathananderson8720 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my TH-cam channel 2 months ago about self development. Now I have 186 subs and almost 82 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I couldn’t have learned without getting started in the 1st place.

    • @yakobelt
      @yakobelt 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Congrats on starting a channel, keep going hope you find success with it!

    • @nathananderson8720
      @nathananderson8720 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@yakobelt Whoever you are, I don't know you personally but I can say that you're one of the non-judgmental and open-minded people who is not fixated on tangible or external factors in order to learn from someone like me. Just because someone doesn't have a piece of paper as a credential, doesn't mean that person is not entitled to share personal experiences with the hope & intention to inspire others. Keep up with whatever it is that you're doing to improve mankind or improving your life even to a slight degree each day. This is just one part of a bigger puzzle for creating my TH-cam channel about holistic health. I literally could have died back when I was 14 years old due to major depression but here I am right now replying to you, a TH-camr, who's full of fulfillment and dedication to help others to be a better version of themselves. I ain't better than anyone else but my old self. That's all that really makes this TH-cam thing more meaningful and enjoyable. Thanks so much for your support! I am hoping that you can join me with this endless personal development journey! :)

  • @federal6616
    @federal6616 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    People love to test others. They absolutely know they are pushing buttons. But how do they do it without the expectation of consequences? And it's the victim that finds himself in legal trouble.

    • @laaaliiiluuu
      @laaaliiiluuu 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Delay your revenge. Wait until nobody sees what you're about to do.

  • @po398studios
    @po398studios 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I remember being 21 when I was an absolute doormat to this girl I had a crush on. She then wanted me to help her do something that she had demonized for me doing in the past. That was the first time I said no. Ever since then, I let go of personal insecurities and learned that backbone in yourself is the first step to showing backbone to others. But as Jocko has also mentioned, a dog does not just randomly snap. showing your teeth and maybe a little growl should be your first warning before biting. This should be one of your dichotomies, sir.

  • @peyotefinder69
    @peyotefinder69 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Fuck man, this is definitely me. I’m not a very confrontational person, which is why I tend to snap when I’ve absolutely had it with someone. This is a great skill to have. Will be putting this into practice.

  • @SirParcifal
    @SirParcifal 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    narcissist and codependency relationships - my whole family did this to me - I even helped them with money - and they still shit on me... remember when you stand your ground and challenge people, you're the bad guy. My familiy had always minimalized my feelings when I tried to discuss things like a human being. But my family is a bunch of loud agressive Italians (*that sometimes behave like Gangs of NY) so I just walked away. I couldn't take it anymore. When I was successful and helped them, I was the good guy - when I needed help (*more EMOTIONAL SUPPORT thn financial support) I was shunned. So at the end of the day - you just got to say fuck it and go no contact. I save a shit load of money not buying bullshit people birthday and Christmas gifts, and now have plenty of money to take care of what really matters in life - my son.

  • @anonymouse7773
    @anonymouse7773 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    The thing about hypersensitive ppl is that we actually do think (rather overthink) when we do “talk smack” at someone and wonder if it actually hurt them, even if it’s clearly a joke, the same way we overthink when someone says something to us. And unfortunately it is a problem, not just to ppl around us but also to ourselves cuz we waste SO much energy over these dumb incidents.

  • @omarali262
    @omarali262 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    The problem is when people mess with you and you're a nice guy the nice guy snaps. Better option is if someone insults you, and you've known them for a little bit, then you need to take them aside and speak with them quietly and mention you're not cool with it. Then they will probably stop. If they don't, then you go all out.

    • @billywatson9821
      @billywatson9821 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Good advice!

    • @alhfgsp
      @alhfgsp ปีที่แล้ว +1

      First make it very clear the behavior won't be tolerated, then if it continues attack back as is necessary for the situation. But it can be difficult to know where that balance is.

    • @BleachedInUtero89
      @BleachedInUtero89 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      A person choosing to Stay calm, Forgiving and kind in the face of harassment from Toxic People, are the type of people who are the strongest most mentally tough people. Letting yourself rage is the easiest thing to do, it's all a sign of weakness that makes you take external forces personal .
      Now Giving kindness even to your enemies is the hardest thing to do, it's rare to find people , who Live through humility, Humbleness , and Thinking highly of their enemies with respect, and Never viewing yourself as Superior to them but as equals

  • @Shamyule
    @Shamyule 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    i really enjoyed this. It seems to me that us people-pleasers have these expectations of other people knowing when they're saying hurtful or mean things to us because we ourselves are always self aware of how we can come across. But maybe that can get messy when its not balanced and when we choose not to speak our minds of the feelings we feel.

    • @KarmasAbutch
      @KarmasAbutch 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      We project our decency onto them and, they’re not.

  • @hurleyman77
    @hurleyman77 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    As an agreeable person, it took me a long time to learn that I needed to monitor and maintain the boundaries I care about BEFORE they become an issue. Even something as simple as saying "I know I usually laugh at this, but it actually bothers me," used to be impossible to say. Now, it's a lot easier for me to tell the difference between things that I need to laugh-off, versus things that I need to act a little annoyed about... A LITTLE annoyed. Growing up is hard, and complicated, and differently so for different people.

  • @charlainedesouza2529
    @charlainedesouza2529 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    That’s me lately- a rabid dog. But I just get my own rage going, not theirs. I really appreciate this conversation. It’s like a reality check.

  • @weazeluchiha13
    @weazeluchiha13 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    this is good advice, im a guy with a VERY long fuse (not out of weakness, but out of willingness), who usually lets things slide (both verbal things, and work relations) until i just put my foot down, and it seems to catch people off guard. i like to treat things as no big deal for as long as possible, but im realizing i should be more transparetnt with my feelings and intentions.

  • @warriorchieftain7585
    @warriorchieftain7585 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Exactly. What people think about me behind my back is none of my business. Those who know me, know the truth. I don't have enough time to spend worrying about the little things.

  • @thickivicki89
    @thickivicki89 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Facts 💯 Learn to Love Yourself and Just Worry about YOU 💗 Sitting there waiting for someone to care as much as you do wont get you anywhere

  • @ARealGopher
    @ARealGopher 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    As a young man with Toxic father figures, you are a beacon of hope. Keep up the videos and topics this stuff really helps some people.

  • @gmjunkyard3403
    @gmjunkyard3403 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    I learned a long time ago that most people who think they have some kind of power over you think that way because you gave it to them. You wanna know who they are? Turn off your phone for a few days.

    • @Zetrisy
      @Zetrisy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      the real friends are the ones when you can kick off as if no time had passed.. rather than people "nagging" you all the time.

  • @sajidmakwana5252
    @sajidmakwana5252 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Jacko is one smart brain that I love to hear n gain knowledge from he knows exactly what is going around hats of two these two

  • @TJBarnzy
    @TJBarnzy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Setting boundaries is all in the eyes

  • @mattburnett4185
    @mattburnett4185 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    watch a film called 'Eastern Promises'
    learn a little about standing tall with grace and dignity in a stark, cold, uncompromising reality
    just because they treat you like a doormat, don't mean you can't whoop some ass when you need to.
    NEVER mistake kindness for weakness.

    • @newhorizon1355
      @newhorizon1355 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Will the judge understand your advice before I am thrown in prison for assault? Then daily I gotta try to teach inmates the same lesson only to keep extending my time in lockup.🤔

    • @mattburnett4185
      @mattburnett4185 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@newhorizon1355 my meaning was strictly self defence or defence of others, and as a rule always avoid court rooms

    • @newhorizon1355
      @newhorizon1355 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mattburnett4185 Not with that movie Matt, plz not with that one.

    • @cryora
      @cryora 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@mattburnett4185 I agree with avoiding court rooms. The judge doesn't know who you are. They've only built up a sophisticated stereotype based on a long line of people who have been in your similar situation and others. The lawyers just want money and career advancement. They won't fight for you. They'll bend their ass backwards and get fucked by legal constraints whilst taking your money.
      Like Machiavelli has taught, you can't trust mercenaries. But you can trust your own people. You want to attend to those whom you call your own.

  • @Paul-eu9jp
    @Paul-eu9jp 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is one of the best videos I ever watched, every thing you guys are saying is so true. Loving everyone’s comments as it’s relating to me. I’ve had so many people treating me like crap over the years because I’m a nice guy to everyone. But when people over step the mark I go off like a bomb. Don’t mistake kindness for weakness. Just because someone’s a lovely person doesn’t mean you can treat them like shit

  • @Rykker
    @Rykker 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    "Noone's sittin around thinking about about you..." thanks lol

  • @Robnoxious77
    @Robnoxious77 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Jocko: holding knife while giving advice
    Dude with 9000” biceps: “yes sir”

  • @kanarokan6060
    @kanarokan6060 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Since everyone is writing their advices and sharing experiences, ill write mine. If you get picked on badly and consistently you need to set boundaries BUT before that make sure that you can back up what you saying, if you ready to defend yourself against a bully be ready for a fight, it's not necessary to fight but you need to be ready at all times. Show them that you have a backbone. People tend to bully and pick on people who they perceive as weak if you show that you can handle yourself they probably won't mess with you in the first place even if they do, you know that you are ready for them.

  • @RuralLifeAndFamily
    @RuralLifeAndFamily 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I used to fall in that trap all the time in my 20s. My family taught me to let things slide way too much. I learned to do what Jocko said in my later years. I wish I saw this 20 years ago.

  • @matmachina
    @matmachina 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    2 sentences in and Echo got me glued to the screen listening so hard my ears are getting DOMS!
    Thank you both!

  • @ginakamins228
    @ginakamins228 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you guys for addressing this alot of people be out hear disrespect ing people but the second you stand up for yourself they call you crazy

    • @plantmanstudios
      @plantmanstudios 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Gina it is because everybody wants to feel good about themselves and one way they do that is by belittling other people. So when someone is disrespecting you it is because they want your self respect for themselves and when you stand up to them they attack trying to get you to back down.

  • @ChristopherCameron
    @ChristopherCameron 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Couldn't agree with this more. What people don't realise is by not giving others the social cues that they don't like how theyre being treated etc, they're technically giving people PERMISSION to act a certain way. So as Jocko talks about with Extreme Ownership - if you don't make a point early on that it's not ok, then YOU did that. So you need to be accountable too - not for their behavior, but for the permission you give them to act that way by not choosing the appropriate response.

    • @arbitraryalias9825
      @arbitraryalias9825 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The extreme ownership approach can definitely help an individual persevere and get into the mindset of success but sometimes other people are the problem. Corporations are filled with people who will understand your negative social cues and they get off on eliciting them. In many cases the correct action is not to freak out nor is it to do mental jiu jitsu blaming yourself, it's to go up the food chain and carefully explain whats going on.