My friend had her fifth child at the same time when their finances were really really bad and shortly after her mom died. She says this baby gave her something to hold on to for dear life.
Healing from grief with a baby is so true!!! I just experienced that with the arrival of our fourth! I was dreading the delivery since I thought the sleepless and reminder of the ones we lost would make the grief worse, but instead I feel alive for the first time in over a year. Praise God! He knows we are meant to love and pour ourselves out
I NEEDED THIS!! I’m expecting my third (who’s a surprise) and will have 3 under 3 this spring as a low income family. I’ve been absolutely terrified and stressed out. This episode really really helped me. Thank you.
You can do it! God never will leave you alone, the same happen to me, they born on 2014, 2015 and 2017 my three middle kids. I was stressed out, but I understand that God never sent you anything that you cannot handle. Today 2024 I’m expecting my 8th child ❤
I am right there with you! My oldest just turned 2 this month and I am 5 months pregnant this month. The biggest thing that has brought me peace besides God is knowing that right at this moment I only have 2 children. By the time my third is born my second will be a little more independent. It's not much 😂😂 but knowing that RIGHT NOW I don't have to worry about 3 kids gives me a sense of peace. Maybe this will help you, but regardless you are not alone and I will be praying for all Mamas with little kids (especially 3 under 3 because that's where I'll be soon) God Bless you ❤
There’s a Spanish proverb along the lines that babies are born with bread under their arms…as in God will provide for them. It doesn’t mean it will be easy but through your motherhood you will be sanctified ❤ Congratulations on your pregnancy 🎉
So happy about this interview. Currently reading Hannah's Children. As a mom of 9 which I tend to not say anything anymore because of all the internet hate. I know those saying hateful things don't understand the blessings that come with a large family. Yes, life can be hard, I'm not saying that but joy doesn't always look like happiness. Grateful that she discussed the over population myth
I'm pregnant with my first and already people some people are skeptical about me having a kid. My life was hard before pregnancy. Now it'll be hard and worthwhile. That's an upgrade imo
I love this conversation so much. As a mother and a catholic woman it resonates with me. My children are like little spiritual commodities to me. More precious than gold!
Loved this episode. My parents made me feel like a burden to them. Financially and emotionally. And put their careers, new leased cars (every 2-3 years), and house over their children. I was brainwashed to believe money was more important than people. So glad I met my husband and he challenged me and I started wanting to get into the Christian faith.
I felt like a burden too, emotionally. I’ve concluded it was my father’s fault in many many ways and my poor mom suffered a lot and only gave us emotionally what she had which wasn’t a lot. I have empathy for her today as a mom myself now.
@@LilaRosePodcast Why do you like to ignore scientific facts in your podcasts? So, medically speaking, women need at least a year and a half gap, between pregnancies. Thats a scientific fact. Determined by WHO and replicated many times. Easy to check online. So, to be responsible to your own health and the health of your baby, you need to avoid pregnancy for at least a year and a half. Also, infants need the mothers full attention to develop, so having another kid when they re a year old is detrimental. Irresponsible parenting. Then lets say you start trying after thsoe year and a half and conceive in 3 months + 9 months of pregnanc. Thats another year. 1.5 year wait and trying and pregnancy bring you to at least a 2.5 y age gap between your kids. You need at least a 2.5 y age gap between kids to be a responsible parent. And thats just medically speeaking. Not financially. You shouldnt start before the age of 25, because human efrobtal cortexes re not developed yet. Emotionally, those under 25 re not ready to be parents. Im not saying they step up, im saying its irresponsible and not ideal to do it on purpose, even if they have the money. So 25 y old and 2.5 age gaps brings you to a maximum of 7 to 9 kids. Why do you seem to ignore these scientific facts? You yourself didnt wait enough between kids. That wasnt responsible parenting. Your wish to have more kids doesnt trump the family s need for responsible parenting.
Lila Rose every time i listen to you i learn something new. I used to be in the mindset that "it has to be right" to have another child and you changed that concept for me completely.
Our babies have all come at the perfect time and brought only light and joy. My oldest came after a period of infertility and miscarriage, My son was born after another miscarriage and shortly before my mom got very sick with cancer. He gave me a purpose and something to keep my mind and body occupied rather than wallowing in self pity. My third (daughter) was born in a summer of peace and gave my sick mom so much joy when she was physically doing bad and I believe she gave my mom a will to live three more years. My youngest was born 3 months after my mom died. He was the light in the midst of a dark winter. Babies, children, they are truly the antidote to depression. Thank you for your witness on this life!
I would love to have a big family too. But I'm a Catholic woman in my late thirties, still hoping to get married and have a Catholic marriage, and even just one child. I'm asking God for a miracle, please pray for me.
It’s not Catholicism my dear that saves it’s your personal relashionship with JESUS you have time if it’s GODS will and I’ve known ppl who have had healthy babies in their early forties to. Fast and pray make yourself available to the right kind of men who will lead you closer to CHRIST. Nothing is impossible but also do not over idolize marriage and children. Keep your eye on the ultimate prize always. GOD loves you and I have reason to believe all the babies who have been abused or aborted or innocently taken too soon will be given to women some day in heaven who could never have babies of their own. Maybe it won’t matter when we get there but in Heaven Jesus/YESHUA says there are many mansions .. I believe He wants to give us the desires of our heart when we have been good and faithful servants. He LOVES You! Shalom!
@@Lea-w1j Why you asume she doesn't have a personal relationship with Jesus? 🙄 God gives you what you need, not what you want. And their plans are always better than ours. If you don't have kids because you can't, is not because you didn't "trust" or "believe" enough, is because God has a greater plan
Just prayed for you. 🙏🏻 My friend married at 39 (almost 40), got 2 bonus children from him as a stepmom, and had a baby at 41! It can still happen, trust in the Lord, he knows the desires of your heart. 💓
I'm an older millennial who bought into antinatalist ideas, career first, child free etc. I was 33 when I decided that actually I wanted kids. I thought it would be easy and took it for granted that I would just be able to get pregnant. I struggled for years with infertility and had 2 surgeries to remove a fibroid. My miracle boy was born during the pandemic and was the best thing ever to happen to us. Expecting my second miracle baby and couldn't be happier. I wish I could have more but I didn't start early enough. I'm just overjoyed to finally have a family. Children are a blessing.
This is so precious!!!! My boyfriend and I are so excited to get married and start our family! I can't wait to fill my children with love and see all their personalities developing and how each of them is going to be able to impact the world. I'm 21, and he is 23. We're likely getting married in a year or two, and I am already beyond excited to build a family ❤.
Wow the last question was so powerful y’all. I was a teen (15) when my mom birthed my baby brother and I have no words to how this shaped those hard years. I was so happy to be home and help to take care of him. He really prepped me for my own motherhood. But wow, never thought about that in this way!
After an entire’s day back and forth match on ig’s threads with people who swear they are happy with no kids, I needed this today. I just know in my heart of hearts children bring us immense joy, nothing else compares
I'm 100 pages into Catherine's book! I've cried so many times! I love it!!! I looooved when Lila said she recognized just how HAPPY she was with her little girl. I feel that TOO with my little 9 month old boy! Just so purely happy
I’m happy too. I love my babies so much ,I could have 5 more. If I could go back in time, I would have started having babies in my early 20’s, not 30’s. This is one of my greatest regrets.
My husband bought Hannah's Children for me and I can hardly wait to start reading it! Thank you, Lila, for giving Catherine another space in which to share her work. Everyone needs to hear this.🥰
I always said I’d never have children (I’m 27), until God changed my heart within the past year. It was definitely due to coming from a dysfunctional family and being afraid I’d mess up my own kids. I’m so thankful I don’t believe this anymore. I can’t wait to have children and podcasts like yours Lila have helped me believe in myself ♥️
I truly thought the same way and had a very dysfunctional upbringing. But I thank God that He saved my life and taught me His design and purpose for family and then He showed me love favor and mercy and He blessed me to get married and I just had our 5th baby this past July. Children are so precious and amazing and healing!!! I thank God that He wrote my story and that I am not the author of it or I would not be able to enjoy the blessed experience and gifts of marriage, children, and Family. God's way is always the greatest way****
Anecdotal evidence for depression/anxiety/baby correlation: I was 18 and conceived my son in rape. I had a beautiful experience raising him. One of the significant gifts I see now when I look back is how my son lifted my broken, wounded, divorced parents out of lifetime depression and brought much healing and mercy to our families.
@@bethshallcross5991 it wasn’t a difficulty to not murder my child, honestly. It wasn’t more difficult fighting those who decided his life didn’t matter and my motherhood wasn’t important. I am truly blessed.
Beautiful episode. Women talking about marriage and motherhood is a deeply soul satisfying favorite topic and gives hope for all generations. This is an intelligent, informed conversation by two highly qualified, unique women whose life careers have provided role models for younger generations. It brings great joy. For those who cannot accept this kind of role in their own lives, hopefully they will not feel defensive but will recognize this is the choice of two women whose life's work is to promote marriage and children and family life. Their work would have been normal and accepted in earlier generations. Older women support their being able to provide hope for their generation and younger. Let's be resoectful and appreciative.
Marriage and motherhood (soon to be 10 children) have given me a contentment and fulfillment I never expected. Is it easy? Never. Is it worthwhile? More than you can imagine.
@@racheln4309 medically speaking, you need at least a 2.5 year age gap between children to be a responsible parent. With 10 kids, there s no way thats the case. You must ve had them closer together and ignored medical advice.
Wonder if your children would say the same thing. 10 children? So, individuality is out the window clearly, or do the older ones help the younger ones. Not to mention the resources available out the for those 10 kids as they grow. This site is something else. “Pro life” unless it’s the mother’s. Every fetus is a life, but I don’t hear any call for mandatory child support from conception. Pregnancy is expensive and some women are sick throughout the entire thing. Where is your championing for universal healthcare? Family bonding time? You are like the niche purse bloggers. Oooooo, this is fun and I can stand out here but when it comes to serious real life issues, nope. Just smile, have my hair done and glasses of water in some of the videos. Weird.
@@sallyd3700 no one understands individuality so clearly as a mother and father of a large family. Do the older ones help the younger? Of course, same as my husband and myself who care for his elderly mother. Does your family not do this? Help one another? Resources? There are plenty. A little ingenuity, research, thinking outside of the box, planning and forethought go a long way. I’m not afraid to roll up my sleeves and set to work. Family bonding time? Dinner every night together as a family. Mother stays home, no worry about maternity leave after a baby. She runs the home efficiently to be sure her marriage and family are at the center. Mandatory child support from who, the father? The father should absolutely be present in the mother and child’s life, caring for them. No brainer. Women need to think twice about who they lay with. Do I have an answer for the fathers who avoid responsibility for their offspring? Yes, one you wouldn’t like. The marital embrace should be reserved only for marriage, no divorce (marriage prep should be taken very seriously since the person you marry is THE MOST important decision a person will ever make) and no contraception. Contraception has made it too easy for women to be used and men to escape responsibility. Universal healthcare? A joke. Quality would go down, not up. I know what it is to be sick during pregnancy, to have complications. You don’t think 10 pregnancies come with their own set of issues? I have been on the receiving end of charity during difficult times and have myself returned these favors to those who helped me. We’ve built a community. Not championed for arbitrary guidelines and “help” from the government through random tweets or YT comments. No virtue signaling here. Mothers in our community roll up there sleeves and get the job done, helping their neighbor in good times and bad. I am plenty aware of what real life issues are. You think parents of a large family somehow live under a rock? We are MORE keenly aware of them considering our worries for our children are multiplied than the childless or average sized family. Yes, you think it’s weird for women to have large families. Simply because you have been so conditioned to believe that women simply cannot do it. We can do it all except well…THAT. You know, babies. LOTS of babies.
I watched this ladies interview on Alex Clark so I nearly skipped this because I thought it would be the same. I'm glad I didn't you interviewed her in a different way and this is a different interview. I'd have missed a lot if I had skipped this .xxx
Im a 30 old carpenter who married his high school sweet heart at 19. We have 7 amazing kids and live a really fullfilling life. There is nobody on the planet i respect, think about, admire, ect. More Than my wife. She is amazing, and having a big family with Gods grace had molded her into a really incredible person. I think working our way back from feminism, and catholic men especially learning about fundamental marital principles would completely solve a large marjority of issues the current social climate is facing.
Great interview! I didn't experience healing necessarily at the child's birth but I have found that my children have provided me with strength and hope to keep going during hard times and they have provided emotional healing to my own childhood wounds over time. Would love to read a book of stories of the blessings of children!
Love thissssss!!! Please have on Mary Haseltine to discuss the silent sterilization discussing how avoidable and unnecessary csections are thwarting those who want large families.
Absolutely, yes. My first two babies were CS but I was bound and determined to have a lot of kids, so despite all the doctors telling me no, I had my next two babies vaginally. I just had a third CS with Baby #5, but if I have another, I'll definitely try for another VBAC. But it breaks my heart how many women put restrictions on themselves or how many doctors impose limitations on these women just because they had cesareans.
I have had so many friends who went one day past due date and their docs told them “your body can’t go into labor on its own”, pushed inductions that failed and ended in cesareans. 😢 This is not evidence based. It’s so common in my area, and these women’s family sizes were absolutely limited by that!
I had a cs, 2vbac, cs, another 3 vbac. The last one (7 mo ago) was an unassisted home birth. Doctors really try to scare mothers into fewer children. I will definitely try to have another home birth if we end up pregnant again.
@@kayb5 Yesss! Obviously, VBACs are great when supported. But would love to avoid the first cs for the majority of mothers are not medically necessary. Dr. Chris Stroud talks a lot about this pervasive problem in the “soft sterilization” going on in the birth world.
Had my babies at probably the worst time in my life financially but somehow we made it through. There is never a perfect time for children. There are indeed stressful times but what a blessing they are
Oh my… she nailed it. I’m so glad I’m listening to this podcast. I’m Catholic and open to life but it has been a huge struggle accepting every child that God sends my way. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. Violence, physical, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, neglect.. in short there was no love in our home. It has been extremely difficulty to overcome the wounds that come with it which always become exposed when you have children. By the grace of God he continues to help me overcome this, but when I hear pro life people preaching about how children are blessings, or when I hear Catholic influencers on IG preach about how having all the babies is best and we are doing wrong by using NFP, I can’t help but to feel like they just don’t understand the reality of the way many of us grew up. The specific accounts I’m referring to, have admitted to coming from loving homes themselves. And the painful part is them constantly saying they don’t understand how anyone could not want children. Who are they preaching to them?? I’m sure other people who grew up in secure homes, don’t have issues (or as many issues) with having children. But for the rest of us who are weary and hurt, all their words do is push us away. I keep saying that the pro life movement will NEVER take fruit unless it reaches the broken hearts the way Jesus did. We don’t need self righteous people preaching to us the obvious. We need to be reached in the depths of our hearts. People need to heal from their wounds. There needs to be an understanding of people at a deeper level. I love my faith and it’s what has helped me push through difficulties in life, but many people are not even close to being Christian. They just need to be seen and heard before anything else can take fruit.
I would even say that as you have more children, the amount of love in the family grows because there's a wider circle of love, more ways to express love as there are more people to love. It's like a miracle, and it requires faith.
I love this episode! ❤ I have two teenagers (13 & 15) my husband had terrible unjust exit from the church we served for over 17 years. Then Covid hit, he spiral down to depression and midlife crisis. In desperation I pray to God to give us a baby boy to literally save my husband’s life. God acted in such a merciful way that at age 38 I give birth to now my 2 year old son. God use this child to heal our marriage and our church hurt and had brought us all together with my teenagers. I can’t explain in words God’s provision for my family in spite of all grief and uncertainty. If this blesses you don’t forget that God is greater, timeless, perfect and in full control of our lives if we invite him. 😊
my oldest son LOVED and has loved his littler brothers! when he was in his somewhat moody tween years, the old one who could break through was his tiny brother who would go to him for hugs.
The statements made about how babies heal grownups and teens alike made a big impact on me. I really did not think about this idea previously. I became pregnant with my second child, a son, at the same time that I had met refugees from Ukraine. We began to spend time together and form a friendship and relationship. The family has 3 children at different stages of teenage years - they were 12, 15 and 17 when I met them. They got to know me, and I them, throughout the duration of my pregnancy. When I met the children, they were going through various stages of depression and anxiety given their whole life had been uprooted, on top of that, they were going through normal teenage turmoil and acclimating to a new country, culture and language. When I gave birth to my son, they didn’t know what to make of the baby, he was so tiny and helpless. They asked if he could sit up by himself? Can he crawl? They just had not been exposed to babies in a long time. They were afraid to hold him. By the time my son was 9 months or so, their mom began helping me with babysitting sporadically and slowly transitioned into full time nannying. She has been helping me this year, roughly 7 months to date, and in this time, her kids are thriving. Especially the youngest one who recently turned 14, has turned a completely new page. Her youngest child was emotionally hit the hardest with depression and had no interest in anything or anyone. My friend shared with me that at one point her youngest daughter had been suicidal. I watched how slowly over this summer, they got know my son and the 14-year old began crawling out of her shell. Recently, I had a 2 -week break from work where I had my children with me the entire time, my friend/nanny reached out and asked when I will be stopping by because all of her children missed my son so much, especially their youngest child. Every time I pick him up after work, I can see each teenager interacts with my son, whether they play peekaboo, chase him or throw him in the air..whatever shenanigans they are pulling, they work overtime to get a happy laugh or reaction out of my child. My nanny and friend mentioned how her youngest runs home from the school bus stop to spend time with my little son. Looking at this in retrospect, it’s such a blessing to have this little child that is already performing such an incredibly important job in an unexpected manner. I will continue to place my trust in God and to be lead by faith.
When we married, my husband and I talked about 6 or 7, or even more children. And then, after 5, when my husband switched careers and now was associating with bankers and businessmen, he decided he wanted no more. He now wanted me to work outside the home and because he didn’t believe he could cope with a vasectomy, he thought I should be the one to be sterilized, that I should have a tubal ligation.Sadly, I went along with him. I took his suggestions and had a tubal ligation after baby number 5. I also found work teaching so at least I could be home when the children came home after school. But just as I had feared, problems arose that led to conflicts, and eventually to divorce.
I'm sorry. If I can ask, do you think the divorce would have happened if he had gone along with your wish and let you and him have a few other children?
When did she say her wish? I read and reread her comment and she says she went along with what he wanted (submissive wife to husband) and didn’t mention what her wishes were.
Obviously, he was contemplating unburdening himself of the marriage at the time he pushed her to set-sterilize. The push to have her work outside the home was pre-planned as well…no alimony, and she’d have to pay her own living expenses, I.e, he’d keep more assets.
That is a common trajectory. When women stretch themselves thin between working and childcare, they have so little for themselves. Also, anytime you cut off childbirth as a potential from sex, it leads to perversion (use of women’s bodies to fulfill one sexual need… the selfishness staters to grow and then divorce). Catholics had it right… contraception should Be a no-no.😊
Thank you for this. It’s been so tough I had the ideology that children are a blessing but as I’ve gotten older it’s been tough . So glad to know I’m not alone.
Thanks Lila for these positive videos about motherhood. I’m pregnant with my first child and somehow the algorithm sends me all these negative videos showing how your body is going to go through so much pain and negative change and how little sleep you will get. It makes you forget why you wanted kids in the first place. Thanks for reminding me
Currently pregnant with baby #4! I am so hopeful we will be able to have 6 children. I love this big family conversation. Its not great timing in a lot of ways but - this conversation gave me so much peace that everything will be ok 💕
I think also a lot of women don’t know how to be mums. What I mean is they went to day care when they were kids, they haven’t seen or been involved in growing little kids, they’ve moved away from family, society encourages a career where they do well, and then when they do have a kid they are out of their comfort zone, it’s hard, and to go to work is almost easier then raising their kids let alone a lot of kids
I have 1 little girl after 7 miscarriages. It's been nearly 3 years since I got pregnant. Please, you don't know me, but could you please pray for me for another baby. I only want a child if they will come to know the Lord, so please pray for that 🩷
Good morning! Your little angel-like baby is so blessed to have you as her mother, Lila! God bless you, Lila. I was listening in the chat and saw you cry because of your love for children. Hey, there's a reason you're on my Mount Rushmore of all time favorite people throughout my entire life on the internet! You're an authentic loving light in this world! Your children and husband are so blessed to have you in their lives! As am I...uh, relatively to being a listener! And... Woah, welcome to Catherine Ruth Pakaluk! I figured she'd be smart since she's wearing glasses, but also because she must have listened to your episode with Alessandra Conti about wearing red! just kidding! Will be praying for her big beautiful family similar to your previous awesome guest Kendra Tierney with her 14 beautiful child family! Children are the most beautiful wealth of goodness imo! I believe every single individual no matter our past or present story, which is informed by our personality, which is shaped by our faith, upbringing, habits, tastes, culture, intelligence, finances, health, choices, traumas from the moment we were conceived, our life is a precious gift. The human person, having both body and spiritual and immortal soul, is only created for his or her sake, meaning he or she is not utility property. We were made in the image and likeness of God, who I believe to be Goodness, who is Love, which, imo, means each individual is made good, and is made to love and be loved. "To love is to will the good of another." -St. Thomas Aquinas 1 John 4:16 We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us. God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him. This episode has been great so far, Lila! Thank you and thank you for so many great episodes this year! You've given me a lot to be grateful over this Thanksgiving! Prayed for you, your family, and everyone here at Mass on Sunday, where we celebrated the Solemnity of Our Lord Jesus Christ, King of the Universe, and still praying for everybody here in my daily Rosary. Hope you and yours have a light-filled peaceful joyful blessed Thanksgiving week.
Thank for this gift. I have 5 boys and I always get asked if I am going to keep on looking for a girl. I honestly tell them I love my boys and wouldn't trade them for girls. Babies do bring healing, I had a rainbow baby after a loss and he healed my broken heart.
I can tell you that my husband and I are poster children for this phenomenon. I grew up in a very broken situation and endured a lot of loss and abuse. A common theme from the individuals that perpetrated these things was that they all said that God didn't love me, that I didn't deserve more than them, etc. Despite growing up Catholic (thanks to extended family), this perverted my view of love and what life was about. Things came to a sudden halt when I unknowingly became pregnant and miscarried in 2023. This led me to come back to the Church. We had several more miscarriages. My husband and I had our marriage convalidated and I was confirmed soon after last November. A few weeks later, I got on my knees and begged God to forgive me and give us a child. We found out we were expecting last Christmas and now have our baby boy. We all lack faith and a knowing that love extends beyond the World, but from God himself.
As Peter Thiel said in his recent Rogan interview, people have kids when they see the people around them having kids. And vice versa. Our desires are mimetic. When Taylor Swift decides to settle down and have kids, you can expect her fans to follow suit. We have literally been “meme’d” into not having kids by the culture of self/death
Woah. This whole interview is phenomenal and now I’m so excited to read Dr. Pakaluk’s book, but oh my goodness the point about teenagers not having baby siblings and the possible correlation with teen mental health 🤯 as an older sister, I still remember the wonder and sense of pure joy from my little brothers’ births (I was only 7 and 9 but still) and I know the relationships I continue to have with my 5 (now mostly adult) siblings have brought some of the greatest joy I’ve experienced in life
I wish that we could hear a realistic conversation about having a large family. What that looks like , the lack of sleep , how you cook , what birthdays or clothes shopping looks like. It’s still a lot of magical thinking . Of course children are wonderful but when mom is the only one raising them with no support it’s hell. No one is happy and it’s just unrealistic to have this standard and act like it’s full of grace . I can’t even go to church . It’s entirely pointless and a waste of my energy . Catholic Church means that you stand there with a toddler trying to wriggle out of the pew , a baby that cry’s half way through , multiple trips to the bathroom , etc. I give up ! Even family events are something I don’t even want to go to because it’s the only time someone else is around to keep an eye on them. This thanksgiving I want to drop them at my sisters and go clean my bathroom in peace. Not in the middle of the night when I finally have time to myself. I love them and am so blessed but realistically- my bathroom is filthy, I’m getting sick all the time because I can’t take care of myself , I don’t have any clothes except leggings and oversized T-shirts . But my kids are dressed perfectly , they are healthy and smart . I just have to make it to kindergarten. Truthfully though , I’m angry at all the women in my life that I thought would be here to help me even with just a kind word.
That sounds really tough and like you are doing a good job. Our heavenly Father sees you and cares for you - Cast your cares on Him because He cares for you. Lean into Him. I pray that God would give you the strength to get through this, and that some practical supports would come as well. Isaiah 40:31 Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not faint. God bless you
Praying for your perseverance. When I get overwhelmed I ask myself, “what is the Lord calling me to simplify?” Do I need less laundry? Donate clothes and keep a capsule wardrobe. Do I need less dishes? Store some and keep a capsule kitchen. Do I need less running around? Cancel some extras and keep a simple routine. Do I need less cleaning? Maybe it’s simplifying to one all purpose cleaner and downsizing to a smaller house. Less rooms, toilets, and toys to clean. Do I need more prayer? Set an alarm for pray by myself, with my husband, and with my children throughout the day. Motherhood is building lifelong relationships with our children. It’s a marathon mindset rather than a sprint. Satan loves to steal our peace.
Hang in there; I’m in the same boat. It’s hard. But I have to hang on to the fact that God loves me and it will get easier someday. And you’re right, no one talks about how hard it is.
One thing that helps me is when ladies in my church ask "Is there anything we can do for you?" I say "Well, something that would be really helpful is if someone came and did a load of dishes for me or helped me fold a load of laundry." Women are delighted by my requests and schedule a time and we chat while I wipe down counters and pick up the floors while she does the dishes and wipes down the stove, etc. If I hadn't told them how to help me, I would be feeling lonely and unsupported and they wouldn't know any better what to do. Another thing I found that helps is by organizing mother meet ups. If our church doesn't already have a mother's meet up scheduled regularly, I volunteer to be in charge of it. We meet at the church and let our kids play in the gym or the nursery and the kids love playing together and the moms enjoy having someone to talk to regularly. I was a bit resentful that I had to start it when I felt like I was drowning with 3-4 young kids, now 5, but doing this service for the community helped me too. Sometimes even no moms would come and I would just sit alone with my kids in the nursery, but even this was good for me and my babies to get some time away from the house. We live far from family so I don't have much support from them, and we move around the country often, so I have to start over and build a community wherever I go. But it's worth it.
You are in the trenches. You are exhausted. I understand this sentiment. It doesn’t last, truly. Hard to imagine, I know. Prioritize your rest above everything else right now. I will pray for you. Jesus loves you!
Read The Appalling Strangeness of the Mercy of God long ago after a family member & mother died of breast cancer. It is a beautiful, appalling, surprisingly beautiful story. I never knew what happend next. Praise God.
I walked my daughter to a fundraiser and said hello to a neighbour on the way. She had her great-grandaugter with her who was 2. "Her parents are at a wedding today so guess who gets stuck with her..." rolls her eyes and points to herself. My heart broke that the little girl had to hear her grand mother talk abour her like a burden. I also over compensated with my daughter later that day in ways of "mummys so lucky to have you" because i dont want her thinking children are a burden
@nt6911 The place where the Damned go after they die. "The Other Place." Not Heaven. There are too many people in Hell. Really, one person is too many. I wish Adam and Eve had decided to not have any children because most of them would go to the unimaginable TORTURE of the flames of Hell after they died. There wouldn't be any people at all, but that would beat the overwhelming majority of humanity writhing in agony in the pit of Hell for eternity. Nothing is worth that.
I would love to have children and so would my husband. Unfortunately I have ADHD and PMDD and I am barely managing the stresses of daily life in a marriage. I know my health would deteriorate even further with pregnancy and childcare and I would probably end up giving my children a traumatic life, and destroying my marriage in the process. Its a very painful place to be.
God blessed them and God said to them: Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.* Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that crawl on the earth.m
@LilaRosePodcast there's a difference between being fertile and being fruitful. The population argument is the only thing the pro-life movement gets wrong. Abortion makes entire generations view sex and reproduction in so materialistic a way that they have way more sex solely for the orgasm and way more baby's are produced unintentionally but very few women who are pro-choice will actually go through with an Abortion. The population of Britain for example is five times greater than the land itself would be able to sustain if all imports and exports stopped. That's not "go forth and be fruitful" that's go forth and be recklessly fertile. Population growth increased more after Abortion was legalized in the west. It has increased 15 times since 1650....God did lower the population very drastically when the thoughts of the imagination of man's heart were only evil continually. Teenage pregnancy was decreasing a little bit every year for eight years, they ignored this, introduced sex education in schools and it shot up 400%, Abortion has the same effect and it's not viable for the population to go up unconditionally. If just stop oil got it's way and imports to Britain stopped tens of millions of people would die. God said be fruitful and multiple when we hadn't done that yet. But it's only irresponsible reproduction I'm bringing up not raising a loving family but Abortion is not the answer in either case obviously.
@Charity-vm4bt that has got nothing to do what I said. I didn't say abortion creates more responsible child bearing I said it creates more irresponsible child bearing. No amount of large family making by married couples by itself could create an excessive population problem.
I think a lot of conservatives are sheltered from the realities of how being raised by government schools and dysfunctional families has affected the psyches of most people. This is mostly a good thing, in that no child should have to grow up in these dysfunctional environments. But it leads to a sort of ignorance of "why does no one want a big family anymore?" conservative who grew up with parents who love them, homeschooled, support of extended family and church, connections in community that give them better jobs or they're farmers and thus need the extra help on the farm = "wow this is the best thing ever!" liberal who grew up in a government school where they heard a teacher telling them stuff like this daily "having kids is like being grounded for 18 years" or "if someone as smart as you *just* has kids it would be a waste," goes home to abusive/addict parent berating them for 3+ hours straight until bedtime, gets kicked out of house or person raises them self-deletes on/around 18th birthday, no useful contacts in community means you're working at burger king, etc = "wow i don't understand why people have kids in this environment at all!"
And people from those environments have a lot of healing to do before they're ever ready to have children of their own. There are some people on the comments that are pushing for people who don't want children to go ahead and give it a try and I don't think they realize cycle they're perpetuating. Hurt people will continue to hurt people, including their children, until they are healed. It really isn't a good idea to encourage those people to have kids.
@@mamatlacuacha 💯💯exactly. While I do agree with the sentiment "no one is truly ready to have kids before they have them," there's a MAJOR difference between 2 people in a loving, committed relationship choosing to have children with faith in God that this will work out for them; and someone who has an addict live in boyfriend who doesn't have a job just getting knocked up because she's bored or thinks that having a kid would fix their problems. Likewise there's often a sentiment in these videos like having children makes you a better person - again, it can, if you're in a loving, committed relationship and you both have faith in God; but the reality of a lot of these extremely mentally unhealthy addict parents is often at best creating the groundwork for another addict adult when they grow up, and at worst the kinds of stories these channels often ironically also cover like the parents who pimp out their own kid for drug money.
@@roflpill , I'm not saying that can't happen, but that's not your child's job. You should do the work to get yourself healed before you bring a child into this world. People who recognize that they come from broken homes with terrible role models and they have no idea what it takes to be a parent are doing the right thing by not having children right now. Obviously, I'm Catholic, I don't support abortion and I'm not saying that someone who becomes pregnant while still needing healing should get one or should give that child up for adoption even. But I think it's reasonable to recognize you need to heal and, for the sake of your future children, to seek that out before having them.
@@roflpill I agree with you, I'm five children in. I love it when perfect people say that you should have done it all the right way first as if that's helpful or it negates the work that we've done after becoming parents. If I hadn't become a mother I would never have become Catholic. I didn't give my children a job as the other commenter implied. I accepted the job that the Lord gave me, for the sake of my children. God makes all things new. There will always be people who want to jump in with "yeah, but you should have.........."
Babies are healing. And I'd say even later, as toddlers. I remember days of intense suffering when my son was 2. After he fell asleep, outside the door, I'd be a canon ball of hurt and anger. I learned that I could go inside and just sit by him as he slept. All the evil melted away and I was at peace. It was such a radical change, I remember it to this day
I think it's interesting how in the times of the Old Covenant, humanity had an agricultural society that was very dependent on human (including child) labor, so children were economically an asset, and now that we are in the New Covenant, we have shifted to an economy in which children are a liability. I believe this is all by design so we can REALLY learn the meaning of sacrificial love if we are open to it. God is infinitely wise. I don't think it's a good idea for Christians to use arguments that children are an asset when this simply is not true and anyone who has seen a group of small children screaming in a restaurant while their parents panic around them would agree with me on this. I think it's more important for Christians to emphasize the spiritual value of sacrificial love and how it matters simply because it makes us image God more clearly. We do not need to rely on arguments of the world that children will benefit us in any other way than this. I am suffering MUCH right now in being open to life and will be the first to admit this fact. So of course the world thinks we are crazy for having children! The world doesn't know Jesus and we are here to show them who He is!
Absolutely agree!! I have 3 girls and open to more but it is by no means a cake walk. It is the hardest challenge God has put before me! But it does grow you into a self-sacrificing, love-growing human being. I think that is the whole point.
Im hoping that the Lord will reward my husband and I with another child but we know that its according to His will. Bear in mind that chidren coming into the world is also a purpose that God has for them. We may have our desires but God has the final say.
Great conversation. Missing aspect of this discussion is the increase in obstetric violence over the last decades, and the increase in unnecessary C sections with minimal effort toward VBACs. Women physically can’t have more than 4 C sections. This epidemic is slowing the growth of families in the US.
I have five kids. I had them all in 91/2 years. Yes, I was exhausted, yet I would not have changed it for the world. I actually feel sorry for people who don’t want to have babies. They have no idea what they’re missing out on.
This is so amazing. Kids heal you. They really healed me and taught me true love and patience and gentleness. This is going to be very judgemental but from my experience as a Muslim man in the UK, the best people I have found towards step kids are white Christian British and American women and men. It's very natural for them to be very loving and caring to their partners kids. This woman is amazing. I would marry her any day and serve her for the rest of my life. Any woman want to be like her come my way please. In contrast Muslim women are not good at this and nor Eastern European women and I don't know about western Europeans too.
As someone who had 1 child by choice. Most of that comes from I had/have a boatload of trauma around divorce and then growing up in a blended family. Having 1 was a good choice for me because emotionally it would have been a horrible idea for me to be a mother of multiple kids. However I do admire couples that can emotionally manage larger families. Wasn’t for me and I’m grateful that we live in a time where people can choose when and how many children they have.
Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, when speaking about the betrayal of Jesus, that “Judas knew the cost of everything, but the value of nothing.” I believe this aptly describes the attitude of adults today towards children. I have eight children, expecting my ninth in May. And I will say I’ve always loved my children and loved being a mother, it has been my whole life’s calling. But the more children I have, the more precious I view them, the more I appreciate each individual one. They are each so invaluable and so unique. It makes me angry and sad that the world refuses to see this.
I think a big think in uk is the first year is the hardest, then they become toddlers and they are so much fun all the time. But most people go back to work at 1 year and don't properly experience their toddler
I so appreciate the insight of this discussion. I respect everything said here. However, without proper support of extended family, I cannot see myself having more than 2. I am exhausted with just one and have to use daycare here and there just so I can sleep sometimes. I don't want to live in survival mode for a decade.
Well they’re coming from a family oriented point of view but not many people live that way so yeah it won’t be for everybody. I personally don’t see myself wanting to have more than 4
I am recently married and am so anxious about "when to start having a baby." I desire it so badly but I am so scared it is like ingrained in me. I want to be set free from that!
We have 4 and we are in need of a bigger house. (Real need, not just want). So we will have to wait until my youngest is at least 4 until we have another.😢. I’m praying for provision quickly and hopeful I will get pregnant easy.
When I was pregnant with my fifth, this nun came to me and said, 'That my mother gave me 12 siblings was her greatest gift to us.' And God asked us to have 'one! More which became 4 more as a God…joke of one. All love each other and others, joyfully coming together for 3 marriages this year among the grandchildren (35).
People (babies) are more important than careers. At 40 that was a hard pill to swallow. Now at 43 with only one baby, I’m trying so hard to have more. But with diminished ovarian reserve…. iVF & embryo adoption is the only possible solution it seems
I know it's strange. When I told my dad I was having my third he was mad. I think he just doesn't understand why my husband and I would put ourselves through the difficulty of it.
I have four and let me tell you, the comments become unhinged 😂 I’ve been told that I need to kick my husband out of the bed 😅 Like I am sorry sir but what
@@LilaRosePodcast Anyone ever contemplated how the vast majority of these comments come from the walking wounded? From mothers without their babies to hold. Like most of society is called to marriage. Most of them are convinced to purposefully sterilize themselves. Thus they contracept their kids away and they never can hold their children. I def call that a trigger if they’re wounded by lies to see families.
@@LilaRosePodcast Ever thought about how he likely is a father without his child in his arms? Either through contraception or abortion. It’s heart breaking. The walking wounded. 😢😢😢😢😢
I would give my right arm and legs to be a mother. I’m 33 and single, and pray every single day I can still be a mother. I definitely have to put myself out there more/ do more on my part to meet the right man and get married. But I pray with every fiber of my being I will be a mother and a wife. I knew as a child God put me on the earth to be a nurse (which I am) professionally; but above all be a mother. Babies and children are the greatest miracle and blessing, and motherhood is a sacred gift we as women were made for. My heart aches to have a baby and be a mommy, I’ve always wanted to be a mom since I was a little child and always loved kids. I’m not judging, but I truly can’t understand how someone does not have a strong desire to have a baby, and biologically abnormal for women who have children and have no maternal instincts to dedicate your life for your child. I’m blessed I had the most amazing, angelic, and extremely nurturing mommy and a dad (who I lost at 13) that loved fatherhood and loved children and babies❤
I just had my first which was a surprise. I would love to have more but my man never wanted kids and still doesn't want more. How do I cope? He has some good reasons some not.
I love being a mom and I love my 2 children but I’m not sure to understand what is the purpose of having a lot of kids? In my religion children are considered like blessings but isn’t 2 or 3 are more than enough?
My friend had her fifth child at the same time when their finances were really really bad and shortly after her mom died. She says this baby gave her something to hold on to for dear life.
Healing from grief with a baby is so true!!! I just experienced that with the arrival of our fourth! I was dreading the delivery since I thought the sleepless and reminder of the ones we lost would make the grief worse, but instead I feel alive for the first time in over a year. Praise God! He knows we are meant to love and pour ourselves out
I NEEDED THIS!! I’m expecting my third (who’s a surprise) and will have 3 under 3 this spring as a low income family. I’ve been absolutely terrified and stressed out. This episode really really helped me. Thank you.
God will be with you the whole way just hold on tight. My prayers are with you!
You can do it! God never will leave you alone, the same happen to me, they born on 2014, 2015 and 2017 my three middle kids. I was stressed out, but I understand that God never sent you anything that you cannot handle. Today 2024 I’m expecting my 8th child ❤
I'm in the same exact boat. We got this girl! ❤
I am right there with you! My oldest just turned 2 this month and I am 5 months pregnant this month. The biggest thing that has brought me peace besides God is knowing that right at this moment I only have 2 children. By the time my third is born my second will be a little more independent. It's not much 😂😂 but knowing that RIGHT NOW I don't have to worry about 3 kids gives me a sense of peace. Maybe this will help you, but regardless you are not alone and I will be praying for all Mamas with little kids (especially 3 under 3 because that's where I'll be soon)
God Bless you ❤
There’s a Spanish proverb along the lines that babies are born with bread under their arms…as in God will provide for them. It doesn’t mean it will be easy but through your motherhood you will be sanctified ❤ Congratulations on your pregnancy 🎉
So happy about this interview. Currently reading Hannah's Children. As a mom of 9 which I tend to not say anything anymore because of all the internet hate. I know those saying hateful things don't understand the blessings that come with a large family. Yes, life can be hard, I'm not saying that but joy doesn't always look like happiness. Grateful that she discussed the over population myth
Mama of 13, I completely understand all the negative comments from strangers.
Mom of 11 (or 22, lost some)
Thats so cool!
I'm pregnant with my first and already people some people are skeptical about me having a kid. My life was hard before pregnancy. Now it'll be hard and worthwhile. That's an upgrade imo
Big families are awesome! But so are small families. Mama of 2 (and probably through!)
I love this conversation so much. As a mother and a catholic woman it resonates with me. My children are like little spiritual commodities to me. More precious than gold!
Loved this episode.
My parents made me feel like a burden to them. Financially and emotionally. And put their careers, new leased cars (every 2-3 years), and house over their children.
I was brainwashed to believe money was more important than people. So glad I met my husband and he challenged me and I started wanting to get into the Christian faith.
Welcome to the Faith sister
I felt like a burden too, emotionally. I’ve concluded it was my father’s fault in many many ways and my poor mom suffered a lot and only gave us emotionally what she had which wasn’t a lot. I have empathy for her today as a mom myself now.
@@LilaRosePodcast Why do you like to ignore scientific facts in your podcasts? So, medically speaking, women need at least a year and a half gap, between pregnancies. Thats a scientific fact. Determined by WHO and replicated many times. Easy to check online. So, to be responsible to your own health and the health of your baby, you need to avoid pregnancy for at least a year and a half. Also, infants need the mothers full attention to develop, so having another kid when they re a year old is detrimental. Irresponsible parenting. Then lets say you start trying after thsoe year and a half and conceive in 3 months + 9 months of pregnanc. Thats another year. 1.5 year wait and trying and pregnancy bring you to at least a 2.5 y age gap between your kids. You need at least a 2.5 y age gap between kids to be a responsible parent. And thats just medically speeaking. Not financially. You shouldnt start before the age of 25, because human efrobtal cortexes re not developed yet. Emotionally, those under 25 re not ready to be parents. Im not saying they step up, im saying its irresponsible and not ideal to do it on purpose, even if they have the money. So 25 y old and 2.5 age gaps brings you to a maximum of 7 to 9 kids. Why do you seem to ignore these scientific facts? You yourself didnt wait enough between kids. That wasnt responsible parenting. Your wish to have more kids doesnt trump the family s need for responsible parenting.
Amén
Lila Rose every time i listen to you i learn something new. I used to be in the mindset that "it has to be right" to have another child and you changed that concept for me completely.
So glad. Thanks for being here 💛
Our babies have all come at the perfect time and brought only light and joy. My oldest came after a period of infertility and miscarriage, My son was born after another miscarriage and shortly before my mom got very sick with cancer. He gave me a purpose and something to keep my mind and body occupied rather than wallowing in self pity. My third (daughter) was born in a summer of peace and gave my sick mom so much joy when she was physically doing bad and I believe she gave my mom a will to live three more years. My youngest was born 3 months after my mom died. He was the light in the midst of a dark winter. Babies, children, they are truly the antidote to depression. Thank you for your witness on this life!
🙏🏼 praise the lord thank you for sharing ❤❤ 🌟
I would love to have a big family too. But I'm a Catholic woman in my late thirties, still hoping to get married and have a Catholic marriage, and even just one child. I'm asking God for a miracle, please pray for me.
It’s not Catholicism my dear that saves it’s your personal relashionship with JESUS you have time if it’s GODS will and I’ve known ppl who have had healthy babies in their early forties to. Fast and pray make yourself available to the right kind of men who will lead you closer to CHRIST. Nothing is impossible but also do not over idolize marriage and children. Keep your eye on the ultimate prize always. GOD loves you and I have reason to believe all the babies who have been abused or aborted or innocently taken too soon will be given to women some day in heaven who could never have babies of their own. Maybe it won’t matter when we get there but in Heaven Jesus/YESHUA says there are many mansions .. I believe He wants to give us the desires of our heart when we have been good and faithful servants. He LOVES You! Shalom!
@@Lea-w1j Why you asume she doesn't have a personal relationship with Jesus? 🙄 God gives you what you need, not what you want. And their plans are always better than ours. If you don't have kids because you can't, is not because you didn't "trust" or "believe" enough, is because God has a greater plan
In the holy name of Jesus, I pray you get the family that you pray for ❤❤❤
Just prayed for you. 🙏🏻 My friend married at 39 (almost 40), got 2 bonus children from him as a stepmom, and had a baby at 41! It can still happen, trust in the Lord, he knows the desires of your heart. 💓
@hopeandtruth6108 Thank you very much for praying! Yes I continue hoping and trusting in the Lord, with God all things are possible!
I'm an older millennial who bought into antinatalist ideas, career first, child free etc. I was 33 when I decided that actually I wanted kids. I thought it would be easy and took it for granted that I would just be able to get pregnant. I struggled for years with infertility and had 2 surgeries to remove a fibroid. My miracle boy was born during the pandemic and was the best thing ever to happen to us. Expecting my second miracle baby and couldn't be happier. I wish I could have more but I didn't start early enough. I'm just overjoyed to finally have a family. Children are a blessing.
Don't believe the age limit of pregnancy. Lots of kids have been born to late 40's aged women (heard a story of a new mom in her early 50's)
Congrats! Thanks for sharing ❤
This is one of my favorite interviews. It gave me a language to describe my convictions surrounding motherhood
💛💛💛
This is so precious!!!! My boyfriend and I are so excited to get married and start our family! I can't wait to fill my children with love and see all their personalities developing and how each of them is going to be able to impact the world. I'm 21, and he is 23. We're likely getting married in a year or two, and I am already beyond excited to build a family ❤.
My husband and I are newly married highschool sweethearts we want 4-6 kids. Can’t wait to start this chapter.
Congratulations! Praying God gives you many children🩷
How old are you? Hope y can
I pray God he bless you with many kids and with all you will need to take care of them (material and spiritual)
So 5?😂♥️
Wow the last question was so powerful y’all. I was a teen (15) when my mom birthed my baby brother and I have no words to how this shaped those hard years. I was so happy to be home and help to take care of him. He really prepped me for my own motherhood. But wow, never thought about that in this way!
After an entire’s day back and forth match on ig’s threads with people who swear they are happy with no kids, I needed this today. I just know in my heart of hearts children bring us immense joy, nothing else compares
I'm 100 pages into Catherine's book! I've cried so many times! I love it!!!
I looooved when Lila said she recognized just how HAPPY she was with her little girl. I feel that TOO with my little 9 month old boy! Just so purely happy
The most incredible feeling
Totally feel the same about my girls! I just had baby #3 and I have nothing but girls! But I LOVE being a girl mom🩷
I’m happy too. I love my babies so much ,I could have 5 more. If I could go back in time, I would have started having babies in my early 20’s, not 30’s. This is one of my greatest regrets.
My husband bought Hannah's Children for me and I can hardly wait to start reading it! Thank you, Lila, for giving Catherine another space in which to share her work. Everyone needs to hear this.🥰
I always said I’d never have children (I’m 27), until God changed my heart within the past year. It was definitely due to coming from a dysfunctional family and being afraid I’d mess up my own kids. I’m so thankful I don’t believe this anymore. I can’t wait to have children and podcasts like yours Lila have helped me believe in myself ♥️
I truly thought the same way and had a very dysfunctional upbringing. But I thank God that He saved my life and taught me His design and purpose for family and then He showed me love favor and mercy and He blessed me to get married and I just had our 5th baby this past July. Children are so precious and amazing and healing!!! I thank God that He wrote my story and that I am not the author of it or I would not be able to enjoy the blessed experience and gifts of marriage, children, and Family. God's way is always the greatest way****
@ beautiful! 🩵 God bless you and your family 🙏🏼
I’m the oldest of 6 siblings , and my mom married at age 17. As an adult I appreciate the abundance of love of my siblings .❤
Anecdotal evidence for depression/anxiety/baby correlation: I was 18 and conceived my son in rape. I had a beautiful experience raising him. One of the significant gifts I see now when I look back is how my son lifted my broken, wounded, divorced parents out of lifetime depression and brought much healing and mercy to our families.
Wow, what a testimony! That’s an incredible grace to have experienced. And bravo to you for keeping and raising your child. You’re incredible.
Wow❤
@@bethshallcross5991 it wasn’t a difficulty to not murder my child, honestly. It wasn’t more difficult fighting those who decided his life didn’t matter and my motherhood wasn’t important. I am truly blessed.
Beautiful episode. Women talking about marriage and motherhood is a deeply soul satisfying favorite topic and gives hope for all generations. This is an intelligent, informed conversation by two highly qualified, unique women whose life careers have provided role models for younger generations. It brings great joy. For those who cannot accept this kind of role in their own lives, hopefully they will not feel defensive but will recognize this is the choice of two women whose life's work is to promote marriage and children and family life. Their work would have been normal and accepted in earlier generations. Older women support their being able to provide hope for their generation and younger. Let's be resoectful and appreciative.
Thanks so much for being here 💛
@@LilaRosePodcast🎉
Marriage and motherhood (soon to be 10 children) have given me a contentment and fulfillment I never expected. Is it easy? Never. Is it worthwhile? More than you can imagine.
Me too. It is almost indescribable.
@@racheln4309 medically speaking, you need at least a 2.5 year age gap between children to be a responsible parent. With 10 kids, there s no way thats the case. You must ve had them closer together and ignored medical advice.
Wonder if your children would say the same thing. 10 children? So, individuality is out the window clearly, or do the older ones help the younger ones. Not to mention the resources available out the for those 10 kids as they grow. This site is something else. “Pro life” unless it’s the mother’s. Every fetus is a life, but I don’t hear any call for mandatory child support from conception. Pregnancy is expensive and some women are sick throughout the entire thing. Where is your championing for universal healthcare? Family bonding time? You are like the niche purse bloggers. Oooooo, this is fun and I can stand out here but when it comes to serious real life issues, nope. Just smile, have my hair done and glasses of water in some of the videos. Weird.
@@sallyd3700 no one understands individuality so clearly as a mother and father of a large family.
Do the older ones help the younger? Of course, same as my husband and myself who care for his elderly mother. Does your family not do this? Help one another?
Resources? There are plenty. A little ingenuity, research, thinking outside of the box, planning and forethought go a long way. I’m not afraid to roll up my sleeves and set to work.
Family bonding time? Dinner every night together as a family. Mother stays home, no worry about maternity leave after a baby. She runs the home efficiently to be sure her marriage and family are at the center.
Mandatory child support from who, the father? The father should absolutely be present in the mother and child’s life, caring for them. No brainer. Women need to think twice about who they lay with. Do I have an answer for the fathers who avoid responsibility for their offspring? Yes, one you wouldn’t like. The marital embrace should be reserved only for marriage, no divorce (marriage prep should be taken very seriously since the person you marry is THE MOST important decision a person will ever make) and no contraception. Contraception has made it too easy for women to be used and men to escape responsibility.
Universal healthcare? A joke. Quality would go down, not up.
I know what it is to be sick during pregnancy, to have complications. You don’t think 10 pregnancies come with their own set of issues? I have been on the receiving end of charity during difficult times and have myself returned these favors to those who helped me. We’ve built a community. Not championed for arbitrary guidelines and “help” from the government through random tweets or YT comments. No virtue signaling here. Mothers in our community roll up there sleeves and get the job done, helping their neighbor in good times and bad.
I am plenty aware of what real life issues are. You think parents of a large family somehow live under a rock? We are MORE keenly aware of them considering our worries for our children are multiplied than the childless or average sized family.
Yes, you think it’s weird for women to have large families. Simply because you have been so conditioned to believe that women simply cannot do it. We can do it all except well…THAT. You know, babies. LOTS of babies.
@@sallyd3700 your prejudice is crystal clear. What ignorance.
as a mom with five kids (5 more in heaven) I stopped worrying about the whole resources question when I thought about the waste of celebrities!
I watched this ladies interview on Alex Clark so I nearly skipped this because I thought it would be the same. I'm glad I didn't you interviewed her in a different way and this is a different interview. I'd have missed a lot if I had skipped this .xxx
Totally different interview!
@LL-kp7yw I know
Im a 30 old carpenter who married his high school sweet heart at 19. We have 7 amazing kids and live a really fullfilling life.
There is nobody on the planet i respect, think about, admire, ect. More Than my wife. She is amazing, and having a big family with Gods grace had molded her into a really incredible person.
I think working our way back from feminism, and catholic men especially learning about fundamental marital principles would completely solve a large marjority of issues the current social climate is facing.
Great interview! I didn't experience healing necessarily at the child's birth but I have found that my children have provided me with strength and hope to keep going during hard times and they have provided emotional healing to my own childhood wounds over time. Would love to read a book of stories of the blessings of children!
I cried like 4 times watching this. What a great interview and so beautiful. I am blessed with two kids and want more
Love thissssss!!! Please have on Mary Haseltine to discuss the silent sterilization discussing how avoidable and unnecessary csections are thwarting those who want large families.
Absolutely, yes. My first two babies were CS but I was bound and determined to have a lot of kids, so despite all the doctors telling me no, I had my next two babies vaginally. I just had a third CS with Baby #5, but if I have another, I'll definitely try for another VBAC. But it breaks my heart how many women put restrictions on themselves or how many doctors impose limitations on these women just because they had cesareans.
I have had so many friends who went one day past due date and their docs told them “your body can’t go into labor on its own”, pushed inductions that failed and ended in cesareans. 😢 This is not evidence based. It’s so common in my area, and these women’s family sizes were absolutely limited by that!
I had a cs, 2vbac, cs, another 3 vbac. The last one (7 mo ago) was an unassisted home birth. Doctors really try to scare mothers into fewer children. I will definitely try to have another home birth if we end up pregnant again.
@@kayb5 Yesss! Obviously, VBACs are great when supported. But would love to avoid the first cs for the majority of mothers are not medically necessary.
Dr. Chris Stroud talks a lot about this pervasive problem in the “soft sterilization” going on in the birth world.
Had my babies at probably the worst time in my life financially but somehow we made it through. There is never a perfect time for children. There are indeed stressful times but what a blessing they are
Oh my… she nailed it. I’m so glad I’m listening to this podcast. I’m Catholic and open to life but it has been a huge struggle accepting every child that God sends my way. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. Violence, physical, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, neglect.. in short there was no love in our home. It has been extremely difficulty to overcome the wounds that come with it which always become exposed when you have children. By the grace of God he continues to help me overcome this, but when I hear pro life people preaching about how children are blessings, or when I hear Catholic influencers on IG preach about how having all the babies is best and we are doing wrong by using NFP, I can’t help but to feel like they just don’t understand the reality of the way many of us grew up. The specific accounts I’m referring to, have admitted to coming from loving homes themselves. And the painful part is them constantly saying they don’t understand how anyone could not want children. Who are they preaching to them?? I’m sure other people who grew up in secure homes, don’t have issues (or as many issues) with having children. But for the rest of us who are weary and hurt, all their words do is push us away. I keep saying that the pro life movement will NEVER take fruit unless it reaches the broken hearts the way Jesus did. We don’t need self righteous people preaching to us the obvious. We need to be reached in the depths of our hearts. People need to heal from their wounds. There needs to be an understanding of people at a deeper level. I love my faith and it’s what has helped me push through difficulties in life, but many people are not even close to being Christian. They just need to be seen and heard before anything else can take fruit.
I would even say that as you have more children, the amount of love in the family grows because there's a wider circle of love, more ways to express love as there are more people to love. It's like a miracle, and it requires faith.
I love this episode! ❤ I have two teenagers (13 & 15) my husband had terrible unjust exit from the church we served for over 17 years. Then Covid hit, he spiral down to depression and midlife crisis. In desperation I pray to God to give us a baby boy to literally save my husband’s life. God acted in such a merciful way that at age 38 I give birth to now my 2 year old son. God use this child to heal our marriage and our church hurt and had brought us all together with my teenagers. I can’t explain in words God’s provision for my family in spite of all grief and uncertainty. If this blesses you don’t forget that God is greater, timeless, perfect and in full control of our lives if we invite him. 😊
my oldest son LOVED and has loved his littler brothers! when he was in his somewhat moody tween years, the old one who could break through was his tiny brother who would go to him for hugs.
The statements made about how babies heal grownups and teens alike made a big impact on me. I really did not think about this idea previously.
I became pregnant with my second child, a son, at the same time that I had met refugees from Ukraine. We began to spend time together and form a friendship and relationship. The family has 3 children at different stages of teenage years - they were 12, 15 and 17 when I met them. They got to know me, and I them, throughout the duration of my pregnancy. When I met the children, they were going through various stages of depression and anxiety given their whole life had been uprooted, on top of that, they were going through normal teenage turmoil and acclimating to a new country, culture and language.
When I gave birth to my son, they didn’t know what to make of the baby, he was so tiny and helpless. They asked if he could sit up by himself? Can he crawl? They just had not been exposed to babies in a long time. They were afraid to hold him. By the time my son was 9 months or so, their mom began helping me with babysitting sporadically and slowly transitioned into full time nannying. She has been helping me this year, roughly 7 months to date, and in this time, her kids are thriving. Especially the youngest one who recently turned 14, has turned a completely new page. Her youngest child was emotionally hit the hardest with depression and had no interest in anything or anyone. My friend shared with me that at one point her youngest daughter had been suicidal. I watched how slowly over this summer, they got know my son and the 14-year old began crawling out of her shell. Recently, I had a 2 -week break from work where I had my children with me the entire time, my friend/nanny reached out and asked when I will be stopping by because all of her children missed my son so much, especially their youngest child. Every time I pick him up after work, I can see each teenager interacts with my son, whether they play peekaboo, chase him or throw him in the air..whatever shenanigans they are pulling, they work overtime to get a happy laugh or reaction out of my child. My nanny and friend mentioned how her youngest runs home from the school bus stop to spend time with my little son. Looking at this in retrospect, it’s such a blessing to have this little child that is already performing such an incredibly important job in an unexpected manner. I will continue to place my trust in God and to be lead by faith.
My husband and I have been trying for more blessings even after 3 miscarriages. Please pray for us.
When we married, my husband and I talked about 6 or 7, or even more children. And then, after 5, when my husband switched careers and now was associating with bankers and businessmen, he decided he wanted no more. He now wanted me to work outside the home and because he didn’t believe he could cope with a vasectomy, he thought I should be the one to be sterilized, that I should have a tubal ligation.Sadly, I went along with him. I took his suggestions and had a tubal ligation after baby number 5. I also found work teaching so at least I could be home when the children came home after school. But just as I had feared, problems arose that led to conflicts, and eventually to divorce.
I'm sorry. If I can ask, do you think the divorce would have happened if he had gone along with your wish and let you and him have a few other children?
When did she say her wish? I read and reread her comment and she says she went along with what he wanted (submissive wife to husband) and didn’t mention what her wishes were.
@Midger24 unfortunately, this is a complicated and sensitive question. Many men set a limit at five but usually they are the ones to get a vasectomy.
Obviously, he was contemplating unburdening himself of the marriage at the time he pushed her to set-sterilize. The push to have her work outside the home was pre-planned as well…no alimony, and she’d have to pay her own living expenses, I.e, he’d keep more assets.
That is a common trajectory. When women stretch themselves thin between working and childcare, they have so little for themselves. Also, anytime you cut off childbirth as a potential from sex, it leads to perversion (use of women’s bodies to fulfill one sexual need… the selfishness staters to grow and then divorce). Catholics had it right… contraception should
Be a no-no.😊
Thank you for this. It’s been so tough I had the ideology that children are a blessing but as I’ve gotten older it’s been tough . So glad to know I’m not alone.
Thanks Lila for these positive videos about motherhood. I’m pregnant with my first child and somehow the algorithm sends me all these negative videos showing how your body is going to go through so much pain and negative change and how little sleep you will get. It makes you forget why you wanted kids in the first place. Thanks for reminding me
Thank you for that beautiful conversation, it was so healing and refreshing to hear, especially as a mother in today’s climate.
Congratulations on your children
Yes!
Currently pregnant with baby #4! I am so hopeful we will be able to have 6 children. I love this big family conversation. Its not great timing in a lot of ways but - this conversation gave me so much peace that everything will be ok 💕
I think also a lot of women don’t know how to be mums. What I mean is they went to day care when they were kids, they haven’t seen or been involved in growing little kids, they’ve moved away from family, society encourages a career where they do well, and then when they do have a kid they are out of their comfort zone, it’s hard, and to go to work is almost easier then raising their kids let alone a lot of kids
I have 1 little girl after 7 miscarriages. It's been nearly 3 years since I got pregnant. Please, you don't know me, but could you please pray for me for another baby. I only want a child if they will come to know the Lord, so please pray for that 🩷
Good morning! Your little angel-like baby is so blessed to have you as her mother, Lila! God bless you, Lila. I was listening in the chat and saw you cry because of your love for children. Hey, there's a reason you're on my Mount Rushmore of all time favorite people throughout my entire life on the internet! You're an authentic loving light in this world! Your children and husband are so blessed to have you in their lives! As am I...uh, relatively to being a listener! And...
Woah, welcome to Catherine Ruth Pakaluk! I figured she'd be smart since she's wearing glasses, but also because she must have listened to your episode with Alessandra Conti about wearing red! just kidding!
Will be praying for her big beautiful family similar to your previous awesome guest Kendra Tierney with her 14 beautiful child family! Children are the most beautiful wealth of goodness imo!
I believe every single individual no matter our past or present story, which is informed by our personality, which is shaped by our faith, upbringing, habits, tastes, culture, intelligence, finances, health, choices, traumas from the moment we were conceived, our life is a precious gift. The human person, having both body and spiritual and immortal soul, is only created for his or her sake, meaning he or she is not utility property. We were made in the image and likeness of God, who I believe to be Goodness, who is Love, which, imo, means each individual is made good, and is made to love and be loved.
"To love is to will the good of another."
-St. Thomas Aquinas
1 John 4:16 We have come to know and to believe in the love God has for us.
God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God and God in him.
This episode has been great so far, Lila! Thank you and thank you for so many great episodes this year!
You've given me a lot to be grateful over this Thanksgiving! Prayed for you, your family, and everyone here at Mass on Sunday, where we celebrated the Solemnity of Our Lord Jesus Christ, King of the Universe, and still praying for everybody here in my daily Rosary. Hope you and yours have a light-filled peaceful joyful blessed Thanksgiving week.
Thank for this gift. I have 5 boys and I always get asked if I am going to keep on looking for a girl. I honestly tell them I love my boys and wouldn't trade them for girls. Babies do bring healing, I had a rainbow baby after a loss and he healed my broken heart.
I’ve now watched a few interviews with Catherine: wonderful person
She really is!
I would have loved to have had more kids! But I’m so blessed to have both my boys. 🙏❤️
I can tell you that my husband and I are poster children for this phenomenon. I grew up in a very broken situation and endured a lot of loss and abuse. A common theme from the individuals that perpetrated these things was that they all said that God didn't love me, that I didn't deserve more than them, etc. Despite growing up Catholic (thanks to extended family), this perverted my view of love and what life was about. Things came to a sudden halt when I unknowingly became pregnant and miscarried in 2023. This led me to come back to the Church. We had several more miscarriages. My husband and I had our marriage convalidated and I was confirmed soon after last November. A few weeks later, I got on my knees and begged God to forgive me and give us a child. We found out we were expecting last Christmas and now have our baby boy. We all lack faith and a knowing that love extends beyond the World, but from God himself.
“Babies are never going to be the problem.” What a quote!
As Peter Thiel said in his recent Rogan interview, people have kids when they see the people around them having kids. And vice versa. Our desires are mimetic. When Taylor Swift decides to settle down and have kids, you can expect her fans to follow suit.
We have literally been “meme’d” into not having kids by the culture of self/death
When? That's assuming she does. I think her career is her child and it's pretty likely she will not have any children.
@ My point is we are copy-cat creatures. People have kids when their people are having kids.
Steve Mosher at PRI (Population Research Institute) has done outstanding work for decades speaking truth to power.
Woah. This whole interview is phenomenal and now I’m so excited to read Dr. Pakaluk’s book, but oh my goodness the point about teenagers not having baby siblings and the possible correlation with teen mental health 🤯 as an older sister, I still remember the wonder and sense of pure joy from my little brothers’ births (I was only 7 and 9 but still) and I know the relationships I continue to have with my 5 (now mostly adult) siblings have brought some of the greatest joy I’ve experienced in life
Will definitely read. New fan and didn't realize Dr. P was in my backyard! Thank you!
I wish that we could hear a realistic conversation about having a large family. What that looks like , the lack of sleep , how you cook , what birthdays or clothes shopping looks like. It’s still a lot of magical thinking . Of course children are wonderful but when mom is the only one raising them with no support it’s hell. No one is happy and it’s just unrealistic to have this standard and act like it’s full of grace . I can’t even go to church . It’s entirely pointless and a waste of my energy . Catholic Church means that you stand there with a toddler trying to wriggle out of the pew , a baby that cry’s half way through , multiple trips to the bathroom , etc. I give up ! Even family events are something I don’t even want to go to because it’s the only time someone else is around to keep an eye on them. This thanksgiving I want to drop them at my sisters and go clean my bathroom in peace. Not in the middle of the night when I finally have time to myself. I love them and am so blessed but realistically- my bathroom is filthy, I’m getting sick all the time because I can’t take care of myself , I don’t have any clothes except leggings and oversized T-shirts . But my kids are dressed perfectly , they are healthy and smart . I just have to make it to kindergarten. Truthfully though , I’m angry at all the women in my life that I thought would be here to help me even with just a kind word.
That sounds really tough and like you are doing a good job. Our heavenly Father sees you and cares for you - Cast your cares on Him because He cares for you. Lean into Him.
I pray that God would give you the strength to get through this, and that some practical supports would come as well.
Isaiah 40:31
Those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not faint.
God bless you
Praying for your perseverance. When I get overwhelmed I ask myself, “what is the Lord calling me to simplify?”
Do I need less laundry? Donate clothes and keep a capsule wardrobe.
Do I need less dishes? Store some and keep a capsule kitchen.
Do I need less running around? Cancel some extras and keep a simple routine.
Do I need less cleaning? Maybe it’s simplifying to one all purpose cleaner and downsizing to a smaller house. Less rooms, toilets, and toys to clean.
Do I need more prayer? Set an alarm for pray by myself, with my husband, and with my children throughout the day.
Motherhood is building lifelong relationships with our children. It’s a marathon mindset rather than a sprint. Satan loves to steal our peace.
Hang in there; I’m in the same boat. It’s hard. But I have to hang on to the fact that God loves me and it will get easier someday. And you’re right, no one talks about how hard it is.
One thing that helps me is when ladies in my church ask "Is there anything we can do for you?" I say "Well, something that would be really helpful is if someone came and did a load of dishes for me or helped me fold a load of laundry." Women are delighted by my requests and schedule a time and we chat while I wipe down counters and pick up the floors while she does the dishes and wipes down the stove, etc. If I hadn't told them how to help me, I would be feeling lonely and unsupported and they wouldn't know any better what to do.
Another thing I found that helps is by organizing mother meet ups. If our church doesn't already have a mother's meet up scheduled regularly, I volunteer to be in charge of it. We meet at the church and let our kids play in the gym or the nursery and the kids love playing together and the moms enjoy having someone to talk to regularly. I was a bit resentful that I had to start it when I felt like I was drowning with 3-4 young kids, now 5, but doing this service for the community helped me too. Sometimes even no moms would come and I would just sit alone with my kids in the nursery, but even this was good for me and my babies to get some time away from the house.
We live far from family so I don't have much support from them, and we move around the country often, so I have to start over and build a community wherever I go. But it's worth it.
You are in the trenches. You are exhausted. I understand this sentiment. It doesn’t last, truly. Hard to imagine, I know. Prioritize your rest above everything else right now. I will pray for you. Jesus loves you!
A great, enlightening & inspiring talk. Thank you & God Bless you both. Ave Maria.
Read The Appalling Strangeness of the Mercy of God long ago after a family member & mother died of breast cancer. It is a beautiful, appalling, surprisingly beautiful story. I never knew what happend next.
Praise God.
Their story is so amazing.
I loved this, gold throughout the whole interview and Catherine really wrapped it up beautifully. Thank you
This guest’s dress is awesome!!
I walked my daughter to a fundraiser and said hello to a neighbour on the way. She had her great-grandaugter with her who was 2. "Her parents are at a wedding today so guess who gets stuck with her..." rolls her eyes and points to herself. My heart broke that the little girl had to hear her grand mother talk abour her like a burden.
I also over compensated with my daughter later that day in ways of "mummys so lucky to have you" because i dont want her thinking children are a burden
Big families are the best!
Makes me want to have another baby, my only child is 9 months now and she is growing so fast
Hell is overpopulated....
Ding ding ding. Love it.
@Micah-NOT-TOAST 🤷🏼♀️ I think you know the answer. We sure don't.
Not a good thought
What is Hell?
@nt6911 The place where the Damned go after they die. "The Other Place." Not Heaven. There are too many people in Hell. Really, one person is too many. I wish Adam and Eve had decided to not have any children because most of them would go to the unimaginable TORTURE of the flames of Hell after they died. There wouldn't be any people at all, but that would beat the overwhelming majority of humanity writhing in agony in the pit of Hell for eternity. Nothing is worth that.
I would love to have children and so would my husband. Unfortunately I have ADHD and PMDD and I am barely managing the stresses of daily life in a marriage. I know my health would deteriorate even further with pregnancy and childcare and I would probably end up giving my children a traumatic life, and destroying my marriage in the process. Its a very painful place to be.
God blessed them and God said to them: Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.* Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that crawl on the earth.m
Amen
@LilaRosePodcast there's a difference between being fertile and being fruitful. The population argument is the only thing the pro-life movement gets wrong. Abortion makes entire generations view sex and reproduction in so materialistic a way that they have way more sex solely for the orgasm and way more baby's are produced unintentionally but very few women who are pro-choice will actually go through with an Abortion. The population of Britain for example is five times greater than the land itself would be able to sustain if all imports and exports stopped. That's not "go forth and be fruitful" that's go forth and be recklessly fertile. Population growth increased more after Abortion was legalized in the west. It has increased 15 times since 1650....God did lower the population very drastically when the thoughts of the imagination of man's heart were only evil continually. Teenage pregnancy was decreasing a little bit every year for eight years, they ignored this, introduced sex education in schools and it shot up 400%, Abortion has the same effect and it's not viable for the population to go up unconditionally. If just stop oil got it's way and imports to Britain stopped tens of millions of people would die. God said be fruitful and multiple when we hadn't done that yet. But it's only irresponsible reproduction I'm bringing up not raising a loving family but Abortion is not the answer in either case obviously.
@Charity-vm4bt that has got nothing to do what I said. I didn't say abortion creates more responsible child bearing I said it creates more irresponsible child bearing. No amount of large family making by married couples by itself could create an excessive population problem.
@ seek help for your panicked, delusional mind.
Thank you for this ---wonderful interview!
I think a lot of conservatives are sheltered from the realities of how being raised by government schools and dysfunctional families has affected the psyches of most people. This is mostly a good thing, in that no child should have to grow up in these dysfunctional environments. But it leads to a sort of ignorance of "why does no one want a big family anymore?"
conservative who grew up with parents who love them, homeschooled, support of extended family and church, connections in community that give them better jobs or they're farmers and thus need the extra help on the farm = "wow this is the best thing ever!"
liberal who grew up in a government school where they heard a teacher telling them stuff like this daily "having kids is like being grounded for 18 years" or "if someone as smart as you *just* has kids it would be a waste," goes home to abusive/addict parent berating them for 3+ hours straight until bedtime, gets kicked out of house or person raises them self-deletes on/around 18th birthday, no useful contacts in community means you're working at burger king, etc = "wow i don't understand why people have kids in this environment at all!"
And people from those environments have a lot of healing to do before they're ever ready to have children of their own. There are some people on the comments that are pushing for people who don't want children to go ahead and give it a try and I don't think they realize cycle they're perpetuating. Hurt people will continue to hurt people, including their children, until they are healed. It really isn't a good idea to encourage those people to have kids.
@@mamatlacuacha 💯💯exactly. While I do agree with the sentiment "no one is truly ready to have kids before they have them," there's a MAJOR difference between 2 people in a loving, committed relationship choosing to have children with faith in God that this will work out for them; and someone who has an addict live in boyfriend who doesn't have a job just getting knocked up because she's bored or thinks that having a kid would fix their problems. Likewise there's often a sentiment in these videos like having children makes you a better person - again, it can, if you're in a loving, committed relationship and you both have faith in God; but the reality of a lot of these extremely mentally unhealthy addict parents is often at best creating the groundwork for another addict adult when they grow up, and at worst the kinds of stories these channels often ironically also cover like the parents who pimp out their own kid for drug money.
@@mamatlacuacha having my child healed me, and pushed me to be better for her than I would've been for myself. So I disagree with you.
@@roflpill , I'm not saying that can't happen, but that's not your child's job. You should do the work to get yourself healed before you bring a child into this world. People who recognize that they come from broken homes with terrible role models and they have no idea what it takes to be a parent are doing the right thing by not having children right now. Obviously, I'm Catholic, I don't support abortion and I'm not saying that someone who becomes pregnant while still needing healing should get one or should give that child up for adoption even. But I think it's reasonable to recognize you need to heal and, for the sake of your future children, to seek that out before having them.
@@roflpill I agree with you, I'm five children in. I love it when perfect people say that you should have done it all the right way first as if that's helpful or it negates the work that we've done after becoming parents. If I hadn't become a mother I would never have become Catholic. I didn't give my children a job as the other commenter implied. I accepted the job that the Lord gave me, for the sake of my children. God makes all things new. There will always be people who want to jump in with "yeah, but you should have.........."
God will provide, live on a budget, it builds character, 1st thing 1st, family with 10 children, JMJ God is good.
Babies are healing. And I'd say even later, as toddlers. I remember days of intense suffering when my son was 2. After he fell asleep, outside the door, I'd be a canon ball of hurt and anger. I learned that I could go inside and just sit by him as he slept. All the evil melted away and I was at peace. It was such a radical change, I remember it to this day
I think it's interesting how in the times of the Old Covenant, humanity had an agricultural society that was very dependent on human (including child) labor, so children were economically an asset, and now that we are in the New Covenant, we have shifted to an economy in which children are a liability. I believe this is all by design so we can REALLY learn the meaning of sacrificial love if we are open to it. God is infinitely wise.
I don't think it's a good idea for Christians to use arguments that children are an asset when this simply is not true and anyone who has seen a group of small children screaming in a restaurant while their parents panic around them would agree with me on this. I think it's more important for Christians to emphasize the spiritual value of sacrificial love and how it matters simply because it makes us image God more clearly. We do not need to rely on arguments of the world that children will benefit us in any other way than this. I am suffering MUCH right now in being open to life and will be the first to admit this fact. So of course the world thinks we are crazy for having children! The world doesn't know Jesus and we are here to show them who He is!
This may be the best take in the whole comment section.
Absolutely agree!! I have 3 girls and open to more but it is by no means a cake walk. It is the hardest challenge God has put before me! But it does grow you into a self-sacrificing, love-growing human being. I think that is the whole point.
Im hoping that the Lord will reward my husband and I with another child but we know that its according to His will. Bear in mind that chidren coming into the world is also a purpose that God has for them. We may have our desires but God has the final say.
"You've gotcher hands full!"
Better full than empty.
Children's are a blessing 😇 if they are
" GIRL'S !!!👸🏻" 💬
How do you figure that?
@prolifegenzgal
Because girls👸🏻are born with
" VALUE !!! " and boys are born with NO value unless they have "WEALTH💲" unlike you 💬
Great conversation. Missing aspect of this discussion is the increase in obstetric violence over the last decades, and the increase in unnecessary C sections with minimal effort toward VBACs. Women physically can’t have more than 4 C sections. This epidemic is slowing the growth of families in the US.
I have five kids. I had them all in 91/2 years. Yes, I was exhausted, yet I would not have changed it for the world. I actually feel sorry for people who don’t want to have babies. They have no idea what they’re missing out on.
The answer to the struggles of life, is more life.
Probably one of the smartest intellectuals of our time! God bless ❤
One of the best!
This is so amazing. Kids heal you. They really healed me and taught me true love and patience and gentleness. This is going to be very judgemental but from my experience as a Muslim man in the UK, the best people I have found towards step kids are white Christian British and American women and men. It's very natural for them to be very loving and caring to their partners kids. This woman is amazing. I would marry her any day and serve her for the rest of my life. Any woman want to be like her come my way please. In contrast Muslim women are not good at this and nor Eastern European women and I don't know about western Europeans too.
As someone who had 1 child by choice. Most of that comes from I had/have a boatload of trauma around divorce and then growing up in a blended family. Having 1 was a good choice for me because emotionally it would have been a horrible idea for me to be a mother of multiple kids. However I do admire couples that can emotionally manage larger families. Wasn’t for me and I’m grateful that we live in a time where people can choose when and how many children they have.
Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, when speaking about the betrayal of Jesus, that “Judas knew the cost of everything, but the value of nothing.” I believe this aptly describes the attitude of adults today towards children.
I have eight children, expecting my ninth in May. And I will say I’ve always loved my children and loved being a mother, it has been my whole life’s calling. But the more children I have, the more precious I view them, the more I appreciate each individual one. They are each so invaluable and so unique. It makes me angry and sad that the world refuses to see this.
I think a big think in uk is the first year is the hardest, then they become toddlers and they are so much fun all the time. But most people go back to work at 1 year and don't properly experience their toddler
I so appreciate the insight of this discussion. I respect everything said here. However, without proper support of extended family, I cannot see myself having more than 2. I am exhausted with just one and have to use daycare here and there just so I can sleep sometimes. I don't want to live in survival mode for a decade.
Well they’re coming from a family oriented point of view but not many people live that way so yeah it won’t be for everybody. I personally don’t see myself wanting to have more than 4
Loved this interview! I am the 5th child out of 11.
I am recently married and am so anxious about "when to start having a baby." I desire it so badly but I am so scared it is like ingrained in me. I want to be set free from that!
18:51 resources are being taken away from those who need it who are already here, citizens and legal immigrants.
We have 4 and we are in need of a bigger house. (Real need, not just want). So we will have to wait until my youngest is at least 4 until we have another.😢. I’m praying for provision quickly and hopeful I will get pregnant easy.
Hi, what is the name/ artist of the painting on the cover of the book Hannah’s children?
Loved this. But i do think it's for certain countries. I live in South Africa, sadly abject poverty is a daily struggle for so many. Very sad.
so good...couldn't turn it off
Thank you for listening ❤
Yes, loved it.
When I was pregnant with my fifth, this nun came to me and said, 'That my mother gave me 12 siblings was her greatest gift to us.' And God asked us to have 'one! More which became 4 more as a God…joke of one. All love each other and others, joyfully coming together for 3 marriages this year among the grandchildren (35).
People (babies) are more important than careers. At 40 that was a hard pill to swallow. Now at 43 with only one baby, I’m trying so hard to have more. But with diminished ovarian reserve…. iVF & embryo adoption is the only possible solution it seems
When my sister told her friend that I was having a fourth child, her friend reacted as if I’d just received a diagnosis of stage 4 cancer.
I know it's strange. When I told my dad I was having my third he was mad. I think he just doesn't understand why my husband and I would put ourselves through the difficulty of it.
I had twins and when we was ready to try again we both hoped for twins. People looked shocked and hoped it wasn’t two
I have four and let me tell you, the comments become unhinged 😂 I’ve been told that I need to kick my husband out of the bed 😅 Like I am sorry sir but what
The comments get wild! Congrats on your children 💛
@@LilaRosePodcast Anyone ever contemplated how the vast majority of these comments come from the walking wounded? From mothers without their babies to hold. Like most of society is called to marriage. Most of them are convinced to purposefully sterilize themselves. Thus they contracept their kids away and they never can hold their children. I def call that a trigger if they’re wounded by lies to see families.
@@LilaRosePodcast Ever thought about how he likely is a father without his child in his arms? Either through contraception or abortion. It’s heart breaking. The walking wounded. 😢😢😢😢😢
Mama if 5, hopefully more. It’s hard but worth it. I love being a mother.
Fantastic episode !!!
Great to talk about polygyny
I would give my right arm and legs to be a mother. I’m 33 and single, and pray every single day I can still be a mother. I definitely have to put myself out there more/ do more on my part to meet the right man and get married. But I pray with every fiber of my being I will be a mother and a wife. I knew as a child God put me on the earth to be a nurse (which I am) professionally; but above all be a mother. Babies and children are the greatest miracle and blessing, and motherhood is a sacred gift we as women were made for. My heart aches to have a baby and be a mommy, I’ve always wanted to be a mom since I was a little child and always loved kids. I’m not judging, but I truly can’t understand how someone does not have a strong desire to have a baby, and biologically abnormal for women who have children and have no maternal instincts to dedicate your life for your child. I’m blessed I had the most amazing, angelic, and extremely nurturing mommy and a dad (who I lost at 13) that loved fatherhood and loved children and babies❤
Praying won’t bring you the husband. It clearly hasn’t. Being proactive will
"Babies aren't ever going to be the problem." ❤
I just had my first which was a surprise. I would love to have more but my man never wanted kids and still doesn't want more. How do I cope? He has some good reasons some not.
I love being a mom and I love my 2 children but I’m not sure to understand what is the purpose of having a lot of kids? In my religion children are considered like blessings but isn’t 2 or 3 are more than enough?
No it’s not. Life is about procreation. That’s why you’re here. And having at least four should be the goal. Religion has nothing to do with it
We were made for abundance
Yes yes!