Abstinence VS Sobriety (Exploring the Deeper Causes of Addictions)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ค. 2024
- INTRO QUOTE:
The Myth of Normal (book):
Mate, Gabor. The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture. New York, Avery, an imprint of Pinguin Random House, 2022.
Other REFERENCES and QUOTES:
Atomic Habits (book):
Clear, James. Atomic Habits. New York, Penguin Publishing Group, 16 Oct. 2018.
SONG OF THE WEEK:
Dua Lipa, Don't Start Now:
Spotify Link:
open.spotify.com/track/6WrI0L...
Apple Music Link:
music.apple.com/us/album/dont...
TH-cam Link:
• Dua Lipa - Don't Start...
It is so refreshing to find a new channel on addiction at the stage of my recovery where life gets intense and the recovery high (novelty) can wear off in times of grief, thank you for your insights!
Ah - Knowing we're diseased is half our cure. We can spend our lives sweeping spider webs because its emotionally easier - - or we can face the root cause of our pain, no matter how scary - and kill the spider so we can stop sweeping webs and find peace. I'm really impressed with your introspective into addiction. I was married to an heroine addict. I was clueless (or in denial) he was using and always wondered why he would lose everything to get "high". I get it now - whatever was / is causing his pain - it was easier to get high than to face the root cause because then he would have to do something about it.
Hi Brian! It's your self-appointed personal cheerleader, Melissa!! As always, your approach and insights on such a "typically remarked upon in the same way" subject is so refreshing and unique. I have recently been rethinking some of my own roots in 12 step and my eyes are open to other similarly related options... such as taking elements of a few things and doing "my own thing". Idk... the jury is still out. Again, you have covered the extremely sensitive (for some reason), subject of how we label "not drinking, using, gambling, sexing, or chocolating, (the worst of them all imho), etc, etc. Well done, my friend. Hugs and love. ❤
Hey Melissa!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 It’s so good to hear from you. Yes! The chocolating! That one still gets me from time to time. I have seen a lot of people make the 12 steps into their own thing that works great for them. That’s the key for me. Just knowing yourself well enough to know what works best for you. Whatever works to make your life the best it can be is the way to go in my book. You’re the best ❤️🥰
@SmilesforMiles2024 I really needed to hear that as I keep feeling im doing something "wrong" in the respect of the 12 step program so it feels weird bc the steps are "only suggested" but it seems to create silent judgment if they're not done as suggested. But then again, I may think I'm pretty much a professional at knowing what other people are thinking, but there's a slight chance I could be wrong...probably not though. 😉
Also you mentioned your mom in this video and I can only imagine how delighted and proud of you she must be! What a great feeling for both of you.
@@My2centsarenecessary yes. Mom and I are close now. And she is proud of me 🥰
The part you mentioned about the things we are sold to pacify ourselves seriously blew my mind. I have been feeling so unsatisfied and I’ve been trying to channel the fundamentals of my existence like harnessing the moment but it is so difficult with the abstracts and stresses of everyday life. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. This world is just not set up for happiness and fulfillment… gotta try to find it ourselves 😅
Hey! 🙂 Thanks for the comment! Yes, unfortunately the way this world is set up keeps our basic human well-being rather on the back burner at best. It's just not profitable for us to be fulfilled and contented. But I've been learning lately how satisfying it can be to start to unplug from all that and, just like you said, begin to find our own happiness! Happiness is possible, we have just been trained to look in all the wrong places 🤔. I really appreciate you watching and commenting! It means the world to me ☺
Thank you so much for this video! This will help me explain to my family my struggles and internal guidance system on choices im making.
Thank you so much for watching! I hope you are doing ok and not struggling too much 🙂 But if you are having a hard time, just remember that you aren't alone out there. The struggle is real, and I definitely get it. It's hard to be a human being in the world today with everything the world throws at us and expects us to deal with. And family can definitely present some particularly difficult challenges. Just follow your instincts. If you look deep down and can see your situation honestly you will find what is right for you.
Stop by and say hi again anytime ❤
I agree with your take on abstinence and sobriety. I had a good friend who lost her son a little over two months after her son spent a total of 8.5 years in prison for drug-related offenses. He was paroled at 2.5 years but went right back to his life, including his on/off girlfriend, who also had an addiction. He was violated within a couple of months.
When he came out after serving his complete sentence and started serving the parole, his mom and family said he had been sober for six years. I was thinking, no, he abstained for six years.
He said he was not returning to his life or girlfriend; he changed his name on Facebook so old friends couldn't find him, etc. He had free room and board from his mom.
Long story short, he lost before he got a chance to change. A girlfriend he was dating at one point came running to my friend's house the day after he was released. He told the girlfriend he wanted to take it slow. Well, she didn't. After a fight, he took her car, which he was already driving more than she did, for a drive to cool off and think. He told her he would return in a couple of hours. She reported her car stolen. He ran scared because he knew he was going back to prison. He caused a car accident within 3 hours of leaving, and he was killed instantly.
My friend kept crying, "he was sober," I finally said, "No, he was abstinent but never got a chance to learn how to live sober outside of prison. You did your best to help, but he knew what he had to do and just didn't do it." My friend reluctantly accepted my answer.
I was surprised you mentioned kratom because I know someone who just got out of rehab after kratom use and i had no idea kratom was a thing until last year
Great video thanks for sharing your experience. I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment that we have to re-examine exactly what mental processes draw us to these decisions in the first place
Hey! Thanks for that 🙂 I think you are officially the first person to comment on one of my videos that I don't know personally. So thanks. It means a lot! Hope you are doing well 🙂
“I swing both ways” I’m here for that 😂 even if it’s just for music 😂
Thanks for the video sir. Keep going. God bless
Thank you for watching and thanks so much for the encouragement. It really helps! I'm honored that you took the time to watch 🙂
I love that song. Fun song to dance to. I love getting to know you thru your videos. Thank god for You Tube otherwise I wouldn't be able to feel like I'm part of such a interesting and eye pleasing persons life. Its fun.
I love this comment. I had to go back into the video to see what the Song of the Week was. Yeah I’m still loving that song. Brak was my favorite character on Space Ghost. You’re awesome. ❤️🙏
Always look forward to your videos: this had the most views 🎉 and song of the week ❤️🔥❤️🔥 unapologetically rock to it
Aww! Thank you! Yeah I love that song! It's so good. And I'm super stoked to be getting some views! its all very exciting ☺
I’ve decided to watch all of your videos from the beginning.
12 steps doesn’t work for a lot of people. But isn’t part of getting out of prison playing the part, doing what looks good for the parole board and your parole Officer?
When you meet with the parole Board aren’t they going to want to see objective feedback that you are doing well (ie. from a Therapist).
Or is a recommendation from your Parole Officer all you need?
This is a good question. I am up for review right now to see if I can get the ankle monitor off in September. Fingers crossed. I haven't been through it before so I'm not sure how it works or what is going to happen. But I think my parole officer is on my side now. I hope that is enough :) I am definitely doing all the right things as much as I can to play the game right.
Try reading SENECA by the University of Chicago press….your best companion to not get bored.