toxic people have a huge strategic advantage in their close ones being addicted because they can point to the addiction as the source of trauma in that person's life and then seem to help them out rather than be the one actually causing them harm
I'm absolutely addicted to my art. I remember the exact moment when it started - I was six, I'd just said something very vulnerable to my mom ("I hate myself") and her reply was to explode in rage on me. I distinctly remember slinking back to my room to begin compulsively drawing, making a promise to myself that I was not allowed to die until I created a masterpiece. Something that communicated my truth in a way that would not be misunderstood. Then everyone who would see it would understand me. It sounds weird but this promise got me through a lot of hard times. When things got bleak I would say "I can't give up yet - I have that masterpiece to finish". And work on that masterpiece I would. I focused all my negative energy on my craft, learning and practicing and honing my skills. Even though I could never afford professional training, it gave me a direction and sometimes a reason to live. I never thought of it as an addiction before, but... yeah. It is.
I relate. My desire to write a movie screenplay occupied many years of my life in my late teens and early twenties. I wanted to be appreciated and understood. I never wrote the screenplay and now I don't care. I see it as a time consuming distraction from my very real and present problems.
I feel the same way. First it was visual art, then music, now writing books. All my life I've been trying to make up an emotional deficit with intellectual achievements.
Deep down, I’ve always really wanted to impress my parents with my intellectual/artistic pursuits. It’s a desire that spawned early on in my life, when I felt so neglected that I thought I needed to be more interesting to be loved. It’s so ingrained into me that it feels impossible to tell whether or not it’s what I want. I do enjoy being creative and outspoken, but often I can feel the little boy in me doing it for my parents rather than myself. Learning to express who I am rather than who will impress my parents has been a very hard journey. But it will make me more whole, I know.
I think parents,most often than not (women in particular), have children only because they hope someone will finally love them unconditionally. They want the love they never received and a child is the perfect "candidate" because children love their mothers regardless of how abusive they are and so the cycle of abuse continues.
Yes and men often have kids thoughtlessly because society expects men to reproduce as a symbol of manliness. They don't even wants kids half the time, and women want them until the kids grow a brain to question them, after which the mother is usually done with them as an addiction and moved on to the next one. It's profoundly sick!
The child 'loves' such a mother when it is little, but when it grows up they start to see the parents for who they are as persons and that's when problems begin.
That kind of mother doesn't "love" her child. She just lives hoping that man, hopefully the father of the child, will someday miraculously "love" her. He will never be able to give her something he doesn't have/own, and she will never be able to see this.
Thats pretty much how it goes, object relations theory says that people are relational. We form the relationship with the primary caregiver, this relationship has two roles. The child needs the mother, mother has all that the child needs. If the child is frustrated, they develop high degree of destructive envy. A mother like this, was to reverse the roles and become the mother and put other people in the role of the child. They can only give, not receive as that would trigger envy in them.
@@joelbarish I would say that this is not necessarily a bad thing. There's plenty of suffering and injustice in the world. Maybe we should stop trying to find the silver lining at all costs and instead face the dispair. Admit it, call it out and cry, and struggle, and howl, and scream with rage. After all, admitting that you have a problem is the first step to fixing it, isn't? Sure, we all need comfort and safety and cozy things, but I think this positivity at all costs approach has stunted our growth as humanity for far too long.
@@four_eyed_ape oh i agree but im not talking about toxic positivity. We should deffinately face the world and try and see it for what it is and doing our part to make it slightly better but at the same time wallowing in the pain and suffering will do nothing but depress you. This guy has some valuable teachings but he's too focused on the negative side of life imo.
@@joelbarishagreed. Nice distinction you make. He is working his pain out in a way that involves not only skepticism but sometimes cynicism and fatalism. That itself is an addiction.
No they like small talk because they enjoy connecting to others around them in a non intrusive way. A life without small talk is often one in isolation.
Yes, and I think it is important to acknowledge that: the most “outward” we can go is getting angry with people who threaten one’s denial (denial defined as believing that the untrue is true). The next layer is undisturbed denial. Further in is the anger that results when one’s comfortably numb state of addiction has been interrupted. Further inward are the cyclic efforts of engaging in addictive behavior. Some more successful than others, but at least the hope of achieving the next “fix” is not far away. We all have a variety of “go to” behaviors to maintain our numbness (sex, drugs, music, work, gaming, exercise, nurturing, shopping…posting comments on social media!). Next is fear of expressing grief. We learn on day one of our lives that if we express grief for too long,our parents become overwhelmed. Overwhelmed parents cannot care for us, and so all of these layers create a distance from our fear of death. Expressing grief (for “too long”) = Death If you have read this far, go rent and stream the documentary film “In Utero.”
This is one the most insightful and pointed videos you've ever offered us, Daniel. Thank you for your courage. It's so challenging to face the ways we self- soothe just to get through another day.
Aaah... Entertainment... Very potent one. I think it's hard sometimes to separate addictions from healthy, genuine human impulses. We have a very healthy and natural tendency to get together, gossip, share opinions, sing, dance. A lot of people, me included, learn very early on from the adult examples to repress all that. And then it comes back as addictions later on in our teens. We idolize idols, glorify fame, are obsessed with talent. But we forget the innate talent every single human being has from birth to have a voice, a body, and a mind. We can all entertain ourselves and the ones we love with our natural gifts, our beauty, our wits. Shoutout to all those who sing in their cars, their shower, who dance in their living rooms, and who make up epic stories in their minds when they zone while working.
Ignorance is bliss. The vast majority of people choose the path of least resistance at every moment. Looking inside, admitting what really happened, admitting reality to yourself, admitting what you really feel, is painful. Going through that, resolving pain or trauma, is hell. Anything that puts that moment off is preferred. And even better if you can drag other people around you down to your level, to share your addiction. It's easier to drag someone else down to your level than to lift yourself up.
@@the81kid My "friends" did this all the time, they always were obsessed with bringing people around their addictions and being suspicious or hostile to people who don't acquiesce and let themselves sucked in.
@@PlaidHiker It's not cynicism, it's biology. More than 95% of human history was pre-civilization. More than 98.5% of human history was pre-Industrial Revolution. We don't live in our natural habitat. We don't live in the environment we are adapted to. Choosing the path of least resistance was fine when we lived as hunter-gatherers, opportunistic for the most part. In the advanced technological society we live in, these behaviors create all kinds of pathologies. That attitude of "oh you're being too negative" or "that's a very cynical view of people" seems to come from the liberal worldview, which tends towards denying there's any such thing as human nature. That rationalism is possible, leading to hyperrationalism, and all we have to do is decide harder. And yes we all tend to avoid understanding what hurts us. You can see it all around us. More than 99% of everything we do is unconscious. Confirmation bias is a thing.
This is true, and it's difficult especially in small rural towns. Almost everyone is an enabler. If you aren't an addict you are either a pompous Christian or an addict labourer.
Not only are the pets themselves addictions, but collecting them can be an addiction too. I know a woman who can't seem to stop adopting large dogs. She has a small house and also collects antique furniture.
Animal hoarding is cruelty! This is not caring for dogs but just always getting new dogs for some short-lived endorphine kick of always getting something new and exciting while the interest in and caring for the animals that are already there goes down. Animal hoarding is indeed a very very bad habit and a bad addiction harmful for animals.
YES PETS!!! That's how I see it. I personally think owning pets is messed up. That's my 2¢. There are caveats, but it's pretty messed up, owning other species for our own pleasure?? Pretty f-ed up. And seeing the addiction slant on it too makes sense.
@@vwb9695 I used to feel that way but then a near death experiencer who seemed legit said that God gave us pets to teach us about unconditional Love. And given everything I've learned from studying NDEs for the past two and half decades I think it's true. Now I'm like, yeah put those cute sweaters on your doggies and go ahead and treat them like your kids. I'm even enjoying videos where people befriend wild animals, and when their pets do too it's amazing.
Toxic religious addiction in people are real, I'm so glad you spoke on that. Don't forget that religious/spiritual psychosis is a real thing. You can definitely tell who is crazy and who is not when they start pushing it onto you with an attitude saying, "if you don't accept this then you'll going to burn in hell." No one should feel pushed/pressured into a religious belief. Everyone should feel welcomed, not pushed. A real religious person would accept others beliefs as they are with mutual respect to keep a nice calm diverse community.
I think what gets me about those people is that if you really believe in whatever you call "God" is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent, why would that God need you to interfere in the lives of others to "save" them. God to me is all the things, so why would I be so egotistical to think I would have to intervene in the beliefs of others. I was an atheist and I was fine. So too are all the people with their own viewpoints. Maybe that's the difference between religion and God. Religion says there's many things one must do or not do, very much a fear based idea of trying to control others. My relationship with God doesn't exist anywhere in those religious places. I didn't find God when I was a Christian in church. I found God when I was an atheist out in the world. People thought I went psychotic when I went thru it, but I've been so much more happy and free since. I guess that goes back to the religious addiction holding us back.
That's happened to me and it's upsetting to me that they think that a deity they can't see or hear can somehow solve their issues. One time it happened to me, I was nearly in tears and on the verge of a breakdown which is embarrassing in a public setting. I can't believe I kept it together that day no thanks to a classmate simply saying that for me, a hug would suffice every once in a while. I'll never forget her for that. 😊
A question that was useful in my journey and hopefully is introspective to you. Are you addicted to love, or are you addicted to validation? What is the difference? If that doesn’t resonate, how much of the addiction is love, how much is lust? Does lust disguise itself as love?
I agree with so much of what you've said here. Whether it is full-fledged addiction to avoid, or whether it is a conscious choice to cope with the environment you are in, that basically is what life is. Coping mechanisms to the environment. You can choose destructive ways or ways that are productive. That's this existence.
When I was 15 I had older social circles (nothing abusive) and I was able to notice that ppl jumped from partner to partner. After 10 years I noticed that it was that addiction without any psychological development. My potential peers for romantic interests have been pursued by older and underdeveloped men. Now most of the girls my age from western europe are heavily damaged and/or can not see eye to eye with any man. Many of them jumped from partner to partner damaging themselves so much more in the process. I've wanted to work on myself and my traumas and stepped away from dating and sex 7 years ago. After 7 years it is obvious to see how hard society is trying to push that dating is the most important thing in life. Almost like they hope if this one person finally gets right what they have failed to achieve, then finally someone can tell them how to get it right.
It's really gross how relationships are pushed onto people. It leads to promiscuity, STDs, unwanted kids, etc. The modern mating rituals are just disgusting to me. 🤮
@@alexxx4434 Does the movie create the social belief, or does the social belief create the movie, or is it just a mutual relationship? It's like saying movies create violence (instead of that violent movies are popular because there's already so much social acceptance of violence). I think the relationship is more symbiotic than one-way.
@@the81kid The blockbuster movie industry is idealistic. That's the reason. The goal is to entertain, and make you feel good in a span of two hours, also subtly infuse you with the present ideology of the society. Who's gonna want to watch a movie about realistic relationships, which are often messy, confusing, slowly developing, frustrating at times. I mean, there are such dramas, but they are niche in terms of audience.
Daniel, this is incredible timing for this video. i am several days post caffeine, and i am experiencing the inner space in an entirely new way. a genuine experience of memories and emotions that other people (and probably myself, too) wanted me to keep locked up within. amayzing. thanks for the video!
The paradise of ignorance. I can not think of another way on pursuing life without being distracted or addicted to a certain concept. When you are deep down the rabbit hole of truth, there is no way to undo the information you have attained and consider ignorance.
I actually have more respect for drug and alcohol addicts than people such as My mother, addicted to children and grandchildren, pets. At least with drugs you're choosing to harm only yourself.
i get ur point , but drugs/alcohol do hurt the ppl who care about the addict , also ppl who do alcohol / drugs also are the vast majority of the crazy ppl who commit crimes , fight with the police and public , and do horrible things under the influence who hurts every1 and everything they encounter so ppl who use alcohol / drugs dont only hurt themselves. they become and danger to society and danger to everyone and everything around them
The system is designed to promote toxic positivity which means that people feel ashamed when they experience any kind of negative emotions, not realising that it's crucial to feel and process those emotions. It's like people experience an emotion they don't want to feel and they go for an instant gratification tool instead of gathering up the courage to look within and start looking for the root cause of their issues, of the depression, of the anxiety. You have to look into the wound, that's where the cure lies.
I’ve always been curious about why my mother had so many children (I’m the third). She was so poor and married an incompetent man. There’s a seven-year gap between me and my oldest sibling. If she was deceived into marriage and having children, or if it was due to youthful naivety, wouldn’t she have realized how much of a mistake it was after having her first child seven years earlier, or even after her second child three years prior? Now I understand. Besides my grandmother’s insistence on having a grandson (I’m East Asian), another reason was that my mother herself wanted a baby to love her. She grew up in poverty; her father passed away when she was three, and as far as I know, she was essentially abused by her mother. When I was younger, I always felt guilty for not being good enough, considerate enough, or hardworking enough to make my mother happy. (Especially in East Asian culture, where children are incessantly told they should take care of their parents-truly the most toxic culture in the world.) But after reading books about trauma, I’ve realized that she’s been crying out for her own childhood wounds to be healed, and her children were expected to soothe her pain.
I had a similar childhood. Instead of an ethnic group's cultural motive, it was a religious motive for my parents. It was God's will to have lots of children. And none of them were cared for, all of them were traumatized. Different immediate cause (not the root cause), with a similar result. I hope you're doing well, wherever you are.
You forgot to mention work addiction. For a huge number of people, having a full-time job means they can escape themselves long-term. When they’re not at work, they’re with someone (friend, partner, date etc). When they’re alone, they’re consuming or sleeping. Why face harsh reality when you don’t have to?
This video is so heartbreaking! The things you said are so tragically devastating shaking true! I don't know if all of us or just a handful of parasitic larvae managed to create and achieve this society we live in today, but we certainly all contributed. Some of us have died or lived wanting to die because we felt too broken and exhausted to live too long that miserably. Thank you, Daniel Mackler !❤
I grieving feels like it never ends, thats why people resort to addiction, its short term, immediat reward. Whereas healing by going inward is painful in the short term but feels good in the long run
I think there's no greater defence from someone asking about your childhood than to say it was good. Almost no one will probe through that force shield
@@mbz5152 It is. So, what's the point...😢? One can strive to recover. However the system is traumatising and the society is in adictions inducing grips.
One of the best so far Daniel Mackler. I confronted the truth of my existence yesterday. My identity. Wash away the ego and it's pretty scary looking in. However through this comes liberation and enlightenment, albeit for me fleeting at that time.
I have an ex-friend that would constantly tell me she had the best ideal childhood - especially when I would talk about my childhood trauma- but I knew she had a whack childhood from stories she’d tell me. I find this to be true when I watch interviews with drug addicts. They always start with “I had a great childhood…” and then 10 minutes later “my parents were both alcoholics, and my dad left when I was 2…”
That's right. Addictions keep us numbed out, stupid & disconnected/distracted. It amazes me how many people don't recognize this about the food industry since that is most common substance to abuse, at least is USA.
this is on the money - thanks for saying out loud what many of us feel in our bones. But society allows these addicts to bypass all honest introspection into the motivations behind their 'normal' behaviours
Spot on! People will worship anything instead of looking within self which helps the negative entities keeping this charade going it’s a show for them…neverending…a cosmic horror
Shopping addiction is another huge one - in photography groups it's common to see people joking about having "GAS" - Gear Acquisition Syndrome - and spending tens of thousands of dollars on huge camera and lens collections. They always get loads of Likes and people celebrating being the same way. It's the same in a lot of hobbies, or just people buying random crap online to make themselves feel better. It just goes totally under the radar because almost everyone is on the same hamster-wheel.
This is so spot on - every family I've met like this was also just literally addicted to alcohol too though. It'd be interesting to talk about how alcohol is used to forge and maintain these kinds of social relationships within these families - I think that's what keeps them addicted to alcohol, since rejecting alcohol = rejecting bonding with the deeply maladjusted family.
I appreciate your channel so much and this talk helped me not to worry about rushing to have children, I see the reality of it, as the lovey dovey part may be great and comforting but I see the struggle in it and to me it’s a risk as things can take a turn, and I feel similar to what you touched on here it makes one distract themselves from themself, it’s a trap, just a societal pressure, ppl subconsciously or consciously seeking validation and attention from the achievement. I know family is a beautiful thing or is that another thing society says to lure you in the Trap of no return. I’m going to heavily watch for Addictions, co dependencies removing the ones I do have on my journey and Things like that etc. thank you sir you’re awesome!
The incessant, top-down perpetuation of our domestic belief in the "American Dream" and the simultaneous global propaganda of "American Exceptionalism" on the world stage are the most nefarious expressions of addictions. They defy objectivity, morality, truth, justice and human compassion. And America is considered to be the vanguard of the human enterprise! I weep for the future!
The only people who think America is considered the vanguard of the human enterprise are Americans. To the rest of us, America is just a dumpster fire. Has been for decades.
@@paulgoogol2652 you can't forget biological imperatives, your body will remind you ;) trauma will remind one of their addiction though to keep one from resolving it. Like a parasite it'll look for clever ways to hide and spread. To see the trauma is to leave it.
Hey Daniel, your videos are so important to me and my friends. This one specifically turned me in such a good direction. I'm extremely grateful. There's nothing like what you share with us.
I would agree to talk about romance as addiction if we're talking about initial phases, when the body releasese potent hormones. But it doesn't last long, so romance addicts start to look for a new romance target. If a relationship lasts long without love, it's not romance anymore, it's dependence or co-dependence.
As always profound video Daniel. I found myself struggling with minor addictions, and also see parents you describe - mothers in love with their small children, which is twisted.
Brilliant! I completely agree. Related to that: Men project an image of greater value than they have. Women are drawn to the illusion of an ‘alpha,’ finding it attractive, but it’s really just anxiety reduction. In the end, it’s living a lie, if you ask me. This is often the main reason relationships or ‘love’ collapse when a man loses his job-simply put, the illusion falls apart. Anything fake is never built to last.
I think another big one you didn't get to in this video is social media. So many people just scroll and scroll and scroll to get their mind away from their "pain and thoughts" (which are useful signals desperately trying to communicate something valid, yet another fact our sick society chooses to alter to make things "easier"). This social media stuff has become extremely toxic especially with the advent of algorithms that track exactly how long you stay on certain content and manipulate your feed to get you to stay on as long as possible and reap maximum profits from people's attentions. There's no vetting these algorithms manually, there's no safeguards. People are radicalized in millions of ways and it's made our political reality in the US untenable. The worst parts is how 1. Socially acceptable this addiction is, even how encouraged it is, and 2. How closely it caters to the desire to belong, to be loved, to be cherished and catered to the way we should have been (and never were) as children. It's completely dangerous, and we're just now starting to realize this. Jonathan Haidt's work has been excellent and will hopefully change the world--this is like lead poisoning all over again.
Yeah because our society throws people's lives away the same way we throw away and waste so much. It's easier to push aside someone and banish them, replace them with someone new, when everyone is an addict.
Absolutely! My struggle with "small" addictions is precisely to avoid historical pain since it's too much at times. I think a lot of people kinda know it about themselves, on the edge between conscious and unconscious.
You deserve far more subs. There's one other person who happens to be famous that has such integrity. It's our inner pain, our difficulty in acknowledging the roots of pain like parents, culture, society, religion, etc. and our investment in the things (addictions mostly) that we use to keep those pains/difficulties at bay. Yes, *modern* societies which are all built on late "western" cultures are 100% pure trauma and addiction factories. Our economies and politics literally runs on these. Entertainment/media and advertising are literally specifically designed to create and amplify addictions. Political organizations, especially the more exclusionary, discriminatory, and fascist variety specifically prod poke and inflame the trauma and addiction to rage by stoking senses of antagonism, blaming others who really aren't to blame, and redirecting such pain and rage toward said scapegoats. In fact, it's their very own world view and its products that have caused the harm they're "remedying" by putting it on others. Parents treating kids as property; men treating women as property; rich/powerful treating poor/underlings/underclasses as property, etc. is all rooted in that spirit. Ditto for religion that works to create people submissive to its institution rather than to bring people to the Divine in and outside themselves. Old/traditional cultures, including old "western" cultures tend to have many orders of magnitude less of this addiction at their core. Colonialism and industrialism have been the core drivers. We have lots and lots of drugs that require no needle, ingestion, smoking, etc. Romance, sex, children as objects, work as an image maker and preoccupation, pets, TV, internet, trolling, hatred, rage, shopping, "expressing ourselves" through what we wear/drive/live in, games, exercising, shaming others.... We have plenty. And they're all sold or used to sell. And they're all profitable. And they're all nurtured on all levels of culture and society even between "individuals". We even have sanctioned pharma-drugs in the form of psychiatric drugs to profit from while demonizing other non sanctioned drugs and their users. In truth, the conventional "drugs" are less disguised calls for help. Their use is far more honest and really happen mainly because society, culture, and religion fail to meet the need that regular drug users are trying to address with them... But then, if the society, culture and religion could meet such needs well then there would hardly be anyone turning to drugs except maybe as compliments to their inner work.
Addiction is being human but the beneficial addictions to society are not diagnosed or harming anyone but themselves. If you have addictions that are destroying yourself but society benefits then everyone around you will be parasites you will be sucked dry til you die. So be aware of being addicted to friendships, family, work, love all seeming positively things can destroy over time. When the resources run out everyone disappears, friends drop off, your partner leaves you, your coworkers and company push you out.
People objectify domesticated animals-- "pets"-- and use them in much the same way as they do children-- as a distracting and absorbing source of unconditional positive regard.
Omg, truth Be told, though I am no addict of your channel, Daniel, I never fail to learn something new about myself each time I drop by. Importantly, early on watching your reflections of your childhood under the control of your parents, I was inspired to remember all traumas of mind. The process was absolutely devastsing but I emerged with a clearer understanding where I started and what kept me where I was. I even managed to decide for a career change. So thank you for your continued insights🎉 Have a bountiful new year!
@@chinmeysway He is quite extreme in his videos. It is his Borderline PD making him see everything in such extremes. It must be exhausting to have such a critical view on everything and lonely making too!
Much better, Daniel. You are making connections and this reveals awareness. Now, do the work in community and discuss those doing good work in the pursuit of wellness through equity.
I don’t care what or how bad our parents or families are. What’s everyone else’s excuse? Come on I’m not buying everyone’s bs. Something is off for so much extreme violence…
In my case it was the opposite, being a mom and witnessing my child’s everyday development reminded me of my own childhood experiences and feelings. It has been painful
I've been fed up for years at the way my sister allows her son to spend hours isolated with his video games. Every now and then when I really cornered her about it she admitted it was easier on her to have him preoccupied so she wouldn't have to deal with him. She continues to guilt him over it so her own conscience can feel cleared. And our mother was the same, didn't seem to care what we did all day as long as we were out of her hair.
I've always framed those concepts in terms of individuals looking for places of acceptance. Being a parent, being devout, etc., these provide strongly affirming communities to shelter in when you can't find any refuge wherever you currently are. Thanks Daniel, there is a lot to think about in this one.
As soon as I hit puberty my mother had issues. She realized I was actually a human with a personality, likes and dislikes that varied from her. She told me once, she just wanted a daughter that looked like her and liked everything she liked. Parents don’t realize their kids are actual people.
Jesus was a wise teacher whose wisdom can be found in all kinds of great teachers. It was the religious folk at the time that wanted him dead the most. The story exemplifies so many issues going on in today’s world as well as many of the issues you’re getting at in your speech.
Maybe it is for you. That’s unnecessary though imo. I think for many Jesus is a way to most quickly face the absolute pains of existence. Prayer and fasting goes a long way.
the internet is the biggest accepted addiction
True. Endless novelty to get lost in. An infinite capacity for escapism.
I think work is not only the most accepted, but encouraged, addiction.
Without the internet I would've died under psychosis by now.
If you think this, then you’re missing the point of his message.
coffee
toxic people have a huge strategic advantage in their close ones being addicted because they can point to the addiction as the source of trauma in that person's life and then seem to help them out rather than be the one actually causing them harm
right on!
Amen to that
@@SArthur221 this is incredibly understated.
That's a very perceptive observation.
And yet, more then enough people still don't understand this simple premise..
I'm absolutely addicted to my art. I remember the exact moment when it started - I was six, I'd just said something very vulnerable to my mom ("I hate myself") and her reply was to explode in rage on me. I distinctly remember slinking back to my room to begin compulsively drawing, making a promise to myself that I was not allowed to die until I created a masterpiece. Something that communicated my truth in a way that would not be misunderstood. Then everyone who would see it would understand me.
It sounds weird but this promise got me through a lot of hard times. When things got bleak I would say "I can't give up yet - I have that masterpiece to finish". And work on that masterpiece I would. I focused all my negative energy on my craft, learning and practicing and honing my skills. Even though I could never afford professional training, it gave me a direction and sometimes a reason to live.
I never thought of it as an addiction before, but... yeah. It is.
🤗
I relate. My desire to write a movie screenplay occupied many years of my life in my late teens and early twenties. I wanted to be appreciated and understood.
I never wrote the screenplay and now I don't care. I see it as a time consuming distraction from my very real and present problems.
I feel the same way. First it was visual art, then music, now writing books. All my life I've been trying to make up an emotional deficit with intellectual achievements.
Same
Deep down, I’ve always really wanted to impress my parents with my intellectual/artistic pursuits. It’s a desire that spawned early on in my life, when I felt so neglected that I thought I needed to be more interesting to be loved.
It’s so ingrained into me that it feels impossible to tell whether or not it’s what I want. I do enjoy being creative and outspoken, but often I can feel the little boy in me doing it for my parents rather than myself. Learning to express who I am rather than who will impress my parents has been a very hard journey. But it will make me more whole, I know.
I think parents,most often than not (women in particular), have children only because they hope someone will finally love them unconditionally. They want the love they never received and a child is the perfect "candidate" because children love their mothers regardless of how abusive they are and so the cycle of abuse continues.
Yes and men often have kids thoughtlessly because society expects men to reproduce as a symbol of manliness. They don't even wants kids half the time, and women want them until the kids grow a brain to question them, after which the mother is usually done with them as an addiction and moved on to the next one. It's profoundly sick!
I don't love my mother.
The child 'loves' such a mother when it is little, but when it grows up they start to see the parents for who they are as persons and that's when problems begin.
That kind of mother doesn't "love" her child. She just lives hoping that man, hopefully the father of the child, will someday miraculously "love" her. He will never be able to give her something he doesn't have/own, and she will never be able to see this.
Thats pretty much how it goes, object relations theory says that people are relational. We form the relationship with the primary caregiver, this relationship has two roles.
The child needs the mother, mother has all that the child needs. If the child is frustrated, they develop high degree of destructive envy.
A mother like this, was to reverse the roles and become the mother and put other people in the role of the child. They can only give, not receive as that would trigger envy in them.
This guy is brilliant! I know it became cliché, but he is very underrated.
He lacks a positive outlook on life though
@@joelbarish I would say that this is not necessarily a bad thing. There's plenty of suffering and injustice in the world. Maybe we should stop trying to find the silver lining at all costs and instead face the dispair. Admit it, call it out and cry, and struggle, and howl, and scream with rage. After all, admitting that you have a problem is the first step to fixing it, isn't? Sure, we all need comfort and safety and cozy things, but I think this positivity at all costs approach has stunted our growth as humanity for far too long.
@@four_eyed_ape oh i agree but im not talking about toxic positivity. We should deffinately face the world and try and see it for what it is and doing our part to make it slightly better but at the same time wallowing in the pain and suffering will do nothing but depress you. This guy has some valuable teachings but he's too focused on the negative side of life imo.
@@joelbarishagreed. Nice distinction you make. He is working his pain out in a way that involves not only skepticism but sometimes cynicism and fatalism. That itself is an addiction.
Seen so many people addicted to small talk...
As if they let one moment of time go by in silence the world will explode.
@@caffeinatedhuman4035 yes, here they congregate in the mornings at the gas station waiting for breakfast tacos.
Aren't you the big wise one?
@@ginaiosef Snarky.
No they like small talk because they enjoy connecting to others around them in a non intrusive way.
A life without small talk is often one in isolation.
@@jellophant9716
Small talk is one thing...Verbal diarrhea is another...🙃 hence small talk addiction.
*_I find myself hopelessly addicted to watching videos on addicts of societal addictions..._*
Most people don't want to go inward, it hurts too much.
❤
The lengths they'll go to avoid facing themselves is astounding.
Yes, and I think it is important to acknowledge that:
the most “outward” we can go is getting angry with people who threaten one’s denial (denial defined as believing that the untrue is true).
The next layer is undisturbed denial.
Further in is the anger that results when one’s comfortably numb state of addiction has been interrupted.
Further inward are the cyclic efforts of engaging in addictive behavior. Some more successful than others, but at least the hope of achieving the next “fix” is not far away.
We all have a variety of “go to” behaviors to maintain our numbness (sex, drugs, music, work, gaming, exercise, nurturing, shopping…posting comments on social media!).
Next is fear of expressing grief.
We learn on day one of our lives that if we express grief for too long,our parents become overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed parents cannot care for us, and so all of these layers create a distance from our fear of death.
Expressing grief (for “too long”) = Death
If you have read this far, go rent and stream the documentary film “In Utero.”
Most don’t know what to do with what they find - so better leave it alone
I agree. Not only does it hurt, but they are taught from a young age to fear the shadow and that it's evil.
This is one the most insightful and pointed videos you've ever offered us, Daniel. Thank you for your courage. It's so challenging to face the ways we self- soothe just to get through another day.
He could have mentioned his own addiction of travelling though.
Sports!
Entertainment!
Acquiring stuff!
Talking!
Power & dominance!
My last gf had a compulsion to talk for hours. It was exhausting after a while.
Aaah... Entertainment... Very potent one. I think it's hard sometimes to separate addictions from healthy, genuine human impulses. We have a very healthy and natural tendency to get together, gossip, share opinions, sing, dance. A lot of people, me included, learn very early on from the adult examples to repress all that. And then it comes back as addictions later on in our teens. We idolize idols, glorify fame, are obsessed with talent. But we forget the innate talent every single human being has from birth to have a voice, a body, and a mind. We can all entertain ourselves and the ones we love with our natural gifts, our beauty, our wits.
Shoutout to all those who sing in their cars, their shower, who dance in their living rooms, and who make up epic stories in their minds when they zone while working.
@allthe1 love this. I love dancing always have
@@allthe1 I'll holler back to that!
coffee
When you're in love with someone you are pointed way outward towards the other person. You forget yourself. Therefore you forget the pain.
Ignorance is bliss. The vast majority of people choose the path of least resistance at every moment. Looking inside, admitting what really happened, admitting reality to yourself, admitting what you really feel, is painful. Going through that, resolving pain or trauma, is hell. Anything that puts that moment off is preferred. And even better if you can drag other people around you down to your level, to share your addiction. It's easier to drag someone else down to your level than to lift yourself up.
@@the81kid My "friends" did this all the time, they always were obsessed with bringing people around their addictions and being suspicious or hostile to people who don't acquiesce and let themselves sucked in.
Great comment.
I don't want to believe people are that cynical. Am I this cynical? Unknowingly reinforcing my own inability to comprehend what hurts?
@@PlaidHiker
It's not cynicism, it's biology. More than 95% of human history was pre-civilization. More than 98.5% of human history was pre-Industrial Revolution. We don't live in our natural habitat. We don't live in the environment we are adapted to. Choosing the path of least resistance was fine when we lived as hunter-gatherers, opportunistic for the most part. In the advanced technological society we live in, these behaviors create all kinds of pathologies. That attitude of "oh you're being too negative" or "that's a very cynical view of people" seems to come from the liberal worldview, which tends towards denying there's any such thing as human nature. That rationalism is possible, leading to hyperrationalism, and all we have to do is decide harder.
And yes we all tend to avoid understanding what hurts us. You can see it all around us. More than 99% of everything we do is unconscious. Confirmation bias is a thing.
This is true, and it's difficult especially in small rural towns. Almost everyone is an enabler. If you aren't an addict you are either a pompous Christian or an addict labourer.
Rural towns as I know this well. So much dysfunction and lack of education about these topics along with a skewed proud ignorance.
Exactly. Christianity has been turned into an abomination that's also am addiction, because it's just a bunch of cults now.
Every one of your videos are so profound. Favorite TH-camr
Didn't forget the addiction to mindless consumerism.
Absolutely, because it's self soothing - self love.
I work in retail. I see it daily. 🫠
There was a book written in the 80's about this, When Society Becomes an Addict by Anne Wilson Schaef
Did you read it, and if so, what did you think of it?
Not only are the pets themselves addictions, but collecting them can be an addiction too. I know a woman who can't seem to stop adopting large dogs. She has a small house and also collects antique furniture.
What a combo! 😃
Animal hoarding is cruelty! This is not caring for dogs but just always getting new dogs for some short-lived endorphine kick of always getting something new and exciting while the interest in and caring for the animals that are already there goes down. Animal hoarding is indeed a very very bad habit and a bad addiction harmful for animals.
Maybe she is helping the animals whilst also being "addicted". We have to do something with our lives ❤
YES PETS!!! That's how I see it. I personally think owning pets is messed up. That's my 2¢. There are caveats, but it's pretty messed up, owning other species for our own pleasure?? Pretty f-ed up. And seeing the addiction slant on it too makes sense.
@@vwb9695 I used to feel that way but then a near death experiencer who seemed legit said that God gave us pets to teach us about unconditional Love. And given everything I've learned from studying NDEs for the past two and half decades I think it's true.
Now I'm like, yeah put those cute sweaters on your doggies and go ahead and treat them like your kids.
I'm even enjoying videos where people befriend wild animals, and when their pets do too it's amazing.
Toxic religious addiction in people are real, I'm so glad you spoke on that. Don't forget that religious/spiritual psychosis is a real thing. You can definitely tell who is crazy and who is not when they start pushing it onto you with an attitude saying, "if you don't accept this then you'll going to burn in hell." No one should feel pushed/pressured into a religious belief. Everyone should feel welcomed, not pushed. A real religious person would accept others beliefs as they are with mutual respect to keep a nice calm diverse community.
I think what gets me about those people is that if you really believe in whatever you call "God" is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent, why would that God need you to interfere in the lives of others to "save" them. God to me is all the things, so why would I be so egotistical to think I would have to intervene in the beliefs of others. I was an atheist and I was fine. So too are all the people with their own viewpoints. Maybe that's the difference between religion and God. Religion says there's many things one must do or not do, very much a fear based idea of trying to control others. My relationship with God doesn't exist anywhere in those religious places. I didn't find God when I was a Christian in church. I found God when I was an atheist out in the world. People thought I went psychotic when I went thru it, but I've been so much more happy and free since. I guess that goes back to the religious addiction holding us back.
So many dudes out there who think they're jesus, lol.
That's happened to me and it's upsetting to me that they think that a deity they can't see or hear can somehow solve their issues. One time it happened to me, I was nearly in tears and on the verge of a breakdown which is embarrassing in a public setting. I can't believe I kept it together that day no thanks to a classmate simply saying that for me, a hug would suffice every once in a while. I'll never forget her for that. 😊
@@No-xs1no It's do be like that as I rarely had women act in a manner like this. I guess they can be more covert about it.
I was all smug until i got called out on my love addiction. Very real and very painful to chose to be single to heal.
I applaud your honesty. At least you realized it now and did not pass your pain onto a defenseless child!!
@@marciestoddard730 thank you
Same
A question that was useful in my journey and hopefully is introspective to you. Are you addicted to love, or are you addicted to validation? What is the difference?
If that doesn’t resonate, how much of the addiction is love, how much is lust? Does lust disguise itself as love?
Some others to add to your list would be: politics, gaming, shopping, exercise and power.
Thank you Daniel, profound and concise as always, Happy Holidays ! 🩷🕊️🪷
Forget 1984, Huxley was closer to reality with "Brave New World" with the fictional drug "soma"
Brave new world for the affording. 84 4 the poor
Very powerful Daniel. I think this may be the most profound video you've uploaded. It actually left me saddened but in a good way.
I agree. This is the best explanation of addictions I've ever heard, and yeah, they're not a happy topic but it can be helpful to understand them.
We have to cope with distractions until our dying day. Painful.
Problem solve. Or a least work at not being the problem.
I agree with so much of what you've said here.
Whether it is full-fledged addiction to avoid, or whether it is a conscious choice to cope with the environment you are in, that basically is what life is. Coping mechanisms to the environment. You can choose destructive ways or ways that are productive. That's this existence.
Mere survival.
When I was 15 I had older social circles (nothing abusive) and I was able to notice that ppl jumped from partner to partner.
After 10 years I noticed that it was that addiction without any psychological development.
My potential peers for romantic interests have been pursued by older and underdeveloped men.
Now most of the girls my age from western europe are heavily damaged and/or can not see eye to eye with any man.
Many of them jumped from partner to partner damaging themselves so much more in the process.
I've wanted to work on myself and my traumas and stepped away from dating and sex 7 years ago.
After 7 years it is obvious to see how hard society is trying to push that dating is the most important thing in life.
Almost like they hope if this one person finally gets right what they have failed to achieve, then finally someone can tell them how to get it right.
Also, the movie industry painting the myth of love from the first sight is misguiding masses.
It's really gross how relationships are pushed onto people. It leads to promiscuity, STDs, unwanted kids, etc.
The modern mating rituals are just disgusting to me. 🤮
@@alexxx4434Exactly, it's a very dangerous concept!
@@alexxx4434
Does the movie create the social belief, or does the social belief create the movie, or is it just a mutual relationship? It's like saying movies create violence (instead of that violent movies are popular because there's already so much social acceptance of violence). I think the relationship is more symbiotic than one-way.
@@the81kid The blockbuster movie industry is idealistic. That's the reason. The goal is to entertain, and make you feel good in a span of two hours, also subtly infuse you with the present ideology of the society. Who's gonna want to watch a movie about realistic relationships, which are often messy, confusing, slowly developing, frustrating at times. I mean, there are such dramas, but they are niche in terms of audience.
Daniel,
this is incredible timing for this video. i am several days post caffeine, and i am experiencing the inner space in an entirely new way. a genuine experience of memories and emotions that other people (and probably myself, too) wanted me to keep locked up within.
amayzing.
thanks for the video!
The paradise of ignorance. I can not think of another way on pursuing life without being distracted or addicted to a certain concept. When you are deep down the rabbit hole of truth, there is no way to undo the information you have attained and consider ignorance.
Thank you, for your awesome observations. May there be peace on Earth, but in the meantime, may there be peace in our hearts and minds.
Also addiction to social nedia and to constantly consuming some kind of content is huge nowadays.
💯
👆THIS. THIS is the addiction everyone should be concerned about
I think you’re missing the point of his message
That’s my addiction right there 🫠
I actually have more respect for drug and alcohol addicts than people such as My mother, addicted to children and grandchildren, pets. At least with drugs you're choosing to harm only yourself.
Not true, drug addiction hurts those close to you and has a domino effect on others…
i get ur point , but drugs/alcohol do hurt the ppl who care about the addict , also ppl who do alcohol / drugs also are the vast majority of the crazy ppl who commit crimes , fight with the police and public , and do horrible things under the influence who hurts every1 and everything they encounter so ppl who use alcohol / drugs dont only hurt themselves. they become and danger to society and danger to everyone and everything around them
So so not true
Relax dude. You’re acting like a victim.
@@eddiedayeti5019 NO
The system is designed to promote toxic positivity which means that people feel ashamed when they experience any kind of negative emotions, not realising that it's crucial to feel and process those emotions. It's like people experience an emotion they don't want to feel and they go for an instant gratification tool instead of gathering up the courage to look within and start looking for the root cause of their issues, of the depression, of the anxiety. You have to look into the wound, that's where the cure lies.
I’ve always been curious about why my mother had so many children (I’m the third). She was so poor and married an incompetent man. There’s a seven-year gap between me and my oldest sibling. If she was deceived into marriage and having children, or if it was due to youthful naivety, wouldn’t she have realized how much of a mistake it was after having her first child seven years earlier, or even after her second child three years prior?
Now I understand. Besides my grandmother’s insistence on having a grandson (I’m East Asian), another reason was that my mother herself wanted a baby to love her. She grew up in poverty; her father passed away when she was three, and as far as I know, she was essentially abused by her mother.
When I was younger, I always felt guilty for not being good enough, considerate enough, or hardworking enough to make my mother happy. (Especially in East Asian culture, where children are incessantly told they should take care of their parents-truly the most toxic culture in the world.) But after reading books about trauma, I’ve realized that she’s been crying out for her own childhood wounds to be healed, and her children were expected to soothe her pain.
You are not alone, my friend.
I’m sorry for your mom and think it’s so wonderful that you can see her, and validate her experience. You’re healing the generational trauma ❤
I had a similar childhood. Instead of an ethnic group's cultural motive, it was a religious motive for my parents. It was God's will to have lots of children. And none of them were cared for, all of them were traumatized. Different immediate cause (not the root cause), with a similar result. I hope you're doing well, wherever you are.
It'e the old saying, she had you to fix her and her failing marriage and predictably, it made matters worse and you had to beat the brunt of it.
why is having to care for people toxic? when you have a toxic relationship?
You forgot to mention work addiction. For a huge number of people, having a full-time job means they can escape themselves long-term. When they’re not at work, they’re with someone (friend, partner, date etc). When they’re alone, they’re consuming or sleeping. Why face harsh reality when you don’t have to?
He mentioned it
Dr. Gabor Mate talks extensively about his work addiction in relation to trauma.
@little_wonderer9290 Yes, he does! And I am a big fan of his 🥰
For sure, Daniel has the best insight on the internet. Society and people want you addicted so they have control over you.
This video is so heartbreaking! The things you said are so tragically devastating shaking true! I don't know if all of us or just a handful of parasitic larvae managed to create and achieve this society we live in today, but we certainly all contributed. Some of us have died or lived wanting to die because we felt too broken and exhausted to live too long that miserably.
Thank you, Daniel Mackler !❤
YOU TOUCHED MY FAVORITE TOPIC……PEOPLE DO NOT WANT TO SEE THIS TRUTH ….and THERE ARE LEVELS OF ADDICTIONS EITHER .
"People do not want to see this truth". Truer words were never spoken. It is good to be old! I weep for the future of humanity.
What is the truth?
I grieving feels like it never ends, thats why people resort to addiction, its short term, immediat reward. Whereas healing by going inward is painful in the short term but feels good in the long run
I think there's no greater defence from someone asking about your childhood than to say it was good. Almost no one will probe through that force shield
Addictions are escape from the pain, true. And they are societally accepted, because people unconsciously accept that life is abuse and pain.
Isn't it?
@@mbz5152 It is. So, what's the point...😢? One can strive to recover. However the system is traumatising and the society is in adictions inducing grips.
That's ironic because addictions cause more pain in the long run.
@@volantera True, they are short sighted coping solutions, with long term adverse effects.
One of the best so far Daniel Mackler. I confronted the truth of my existence yesterday. My identity. Wash away the ego and it's pretty scary looking in. However through this comes liberation and enlightenment, albeit for me fleeting at that time.
I have an ex-friend that would constantly tell me she had the best ideal childhood - especially when I would talk about my childhood trauma- but I knew she had a whack childhood from stories she’d tell me.
I find this to be true when I watch interviews with drug addicts. They always start with “I had a great childhood…” and then 10 minutes later “my parents were both alcoholics, and my dad left when I was 2…”
for the longest time i see people on the street ,they all have this distant feel to them ,in their eyes ,it makes sense now.
That's right. Addictions keep us numbed out, stupid & disconnected/distracted. It amazes me how many people don't recognize this about the food industry since that is most common substance to abuse, at least is USA.
I’m addicted to these kinds of videos 😂😂
thank you for putting your thoughts and knowledge out there, love your videos and books. much love
this is on the money - thanks for saying out loud what many of us feel in our bones. But society allows these addicts to bypass all honest introspection into the motivations behind their 'normal' behaviours
Thank you for expressing all of that Daniel
Spot on! People will worship anything instead of looking within self which helps the negative entities keeping this charade going it’s a show for them…neverending…a cosmic horror
Shopping addiction is another huge one - in photography groups it's common to see people joking about having "GAS" - Gear Acquisition Syndrome - and spending tens of thousands of dollars on huge camera and lens collections. They always get loads of Likes and people celebrating being the same way. It's the same in a lot of hobbies, or just people buying random crap online to make themselves feel better. It just goes totally under the radar because almost everyone is on the same hamster-wheel.
I have yet to meet anyone without a myriad of addictions. And I have yet to meet many conscious individuals :(
Such beautiful words, true leadership causes inner change and transformation! thank you, Daniel!
I'm addicted to your videos. Cheers.
This is so spot on - every family I've met like this was also just literally addicted to alcohol too though. It'd be interesting to talk about how alcohol is used to forge and maintain these kinds of social relationships within these families - I think that's what keeps them addicted to alcohol, since rejecting alcohol = rejecting bonding with the deeply maladjusted family.
Holy shit u just described my parents: addicted to children & religion to escape their own misery.
I appreciate your channel so much and this talk helped me not to worry about rushing to have children, I see the reality of it, as the lovey dovey part may be great and comforting but I see the struggle in it and to me it’s a risk as things can take a turn, and I feel similar to what you touched on here it makes one distract themselves from themself, it’s a trap, just a societal pressure, ppl subconsciously or consciously seeking validation and attention from the achievement. I know family is a beautiful thing or is that another thing society says to lure you in the Trap of no return. I’m going to heavily watch for Addictions, co dependencies removing the ones I do have on my journey and Things like that etc. thank you sir you’re awesome!
Smart youth!!!!
The incessant, top-down perpetuation of our domestic belief in the "American Dream" and the simultaneous global propaganda of "American Exceptionalism" on the world stage are the most nefarious expressions of addictions. They defy objectivity, morality, truth, justice and human compassion. And America is considered to be the vanguard of the human enterprise! I weep for the future!
The only people who think America is considered the vanguard of the human enterprise are Americans. To the rest of us, America is just a dumpster fire. Has been for decades.
Children being born as a result out of addiction. Horrifying.
So many addictions: victim mentality, self help masturbation, journey to "find oneself".
Most harmful addictions are the ones you dont think are one.
don't forget sunlight, oxygen, food and water.
@@paulgoogol2652 you can't forget biological imperatives, your body will remind you ;) trauma will remind one of their addiction though to keep one from resolving it. Like a parasite it'll look for clever ways to hide and spread. To see the trauma is to leave it.
Hey Daniel, your videos are so important to me and my friends. This one specifically turned me in such a good direction. I'm extremely grateful. There's nothing like what you share with us.
I would agree to talk about romance as addiction if we're talking about initial phases, when the body releasese potent hormones. But it doesn't last long, so romance addicts start to look for a new romance target.
If a relationship lasts long without love, it's not romance anymore, it's dependence or co-dependence.
As always profound video Daniel.
I found myself struggling with minor addictions, and also see parents you describe - mothers in love with their small children, which is twisted.
Brilliant! I completely agree. Related to that:
Men project an image of greater value than they have. Women are drawn to the illusion of an ‘alpha,’ finding it attractive, but it’s really just anxiety reduction. In the end, it’s living a lie, if you ask me.
This is often the main reason relationships or ‘love’ collapse when a man loses his job-simply put, the illusion falls apart.
Anything fake is never built to last.
This is what an unloved child grows up to be. Express your love in a healthy way to your children.
I think another big one you didn't get to in this video is social media. So many people just scroll and scroll and scroll to get their mind away from their "pain and thoughts" (which are useful signals desperately trying to communicate something valid, yet another fact our sick society chooses to alter to make things "easier"). This social media stuff has become extremely toxic especially with the advent of algorithms that track exactly how long you stay on certain content and manipulate your feed to get you to stay on as long as possible and reap maximum profits from people's attentions. There's no vetting these algorithms manually, there's no safeguards. People are radicalized in millions of ways and it's made our political reality in the US untenable. The worst parts is how 1. Socially acceptable this addiction is, even how encouraged it is, and 2. How closely it caters to the desire to belong, to be loved, to be cherished and catered to the way we should have been (and never were) as children. It's completely dangerous, and we're just now starting to realize this. Jonathan Haidt's work has been excellent and will hopefully change the world--this is like lead poisoning all over again.
Everything we do to distract looking inwards is an addiction-a way to escape our own painful truths.
Yeah because our society throws people's lives away the same way we throw away and waste so much. It's easier to push aside someone and banish them, replace them with someone new, when everyone is an addict.
Daniel your work is very needed in this world. Thank you.
Absolutely! My struggle with "small" addictions is precisely to avoid historical pain since it's too much at times. I think a lot of people kinda know it about themselves, on the edge between conscious and unconscious.
They want you to be in the same place they are. When those still stick witness you moving on, they will pull you in so they don't feel left behind.
You deserve far more subs. There's one other person who happens to be famous that has such integrity. It's our inner pain, our difficulty in acknowledging the roots of pain like parents, culture, society, religion, etc. and our investment in the things (addictions mostly) that we use to keep those pains/difficulties at bay.
Yes, *modern* societies which are all built on late "western" cultures are 100% pure trauma and addiction factories. Our economies and politics literally runs on these. Entertainment/media and advertising are literally specifically designed to create and amplify addictions. Political organizations, especially the more exclusionary, discriminatory, and fascist variety specifically prod poke and inflame the trauma and addiction to rage by stoking senses of antagonism, blaming others who really aren't to blame, and redirecting such pain and rage toward said scapegoats.
In fact, it's their very own world view and its products that have caused the harm they're "remedying" by putting it on others. Parents treating kids as property; men treating women as property; rich/powerful treating poor/underlings/underclasses as property, etc. is all rooted in that spirit. Ditto for religion that works to create people submissive to its institution rather than to bring people to the Divine in and outside themselves.
Old/traditional cultures, including old "western" cultures tend to have many orders of magnitude less of this addiction at their core. Colonialism and industrialism have been the core drivers.
We have lots and lots of drugs that require no needle, ingestion, smoking, etc. Romance, sex, children as objects, work as an image maker and preoccupation, pets, TV, internet, trolling, hatred, rage, shopping, "expressing ourselves" through what we wear/drive/live in, games, exercising, shaming others.... We have plenty. And they're all sold or used to sell. And they're all profitable. And they're all nurtured on all levels of culture and society even between "individuals". We even have sanctioned pharma-drugs in the form of psychiatric drugs to profit from while demonizing other non sanctioned drugs and their users.
In truth, the conventional "drugs" are less disguised calls for help. Their use is far more honest and really happen mainly because society, culture, and religion fail to meet the need that regular drug users are trying to address with them... But then, if the society, culture and religion could meet such needs well then there would hardly be anyone turning to drugs except maybe as compliments to their inner work.
Dear Daniel I wish you from the heart a very wonderful new years 2025!❤
I’m an addict on Groupon. I love your channel and all that it teaches. May you produce many more videos on teaching!
Addiction is being human but the beneficial addictions to society are not diagnosed or harming anyone but themselves. If you have addictions that are destroying yourself but society benefits then everyone around you will be parasites you will be sucked dry til you die. So be aware of being addicted to friendships, family, work, love all seeming positively things can destroy over time. When the resources run out everyone disappears, friends drop off, your partner leaves you, your coworkers and company push you out.
This video characterizes as everything being an addiction.
Daniel, you would be an amazingly loving dad ❤ supportive, understanding, involved, genuinely interested, caring…
People objectify domesticated animals-- "pets"-- and use them in much the same way as they do children-- as a distracting and absorbing source of unconditional positive regard.
Oops, sorry. Just got to the part near the end where you mention pets.
Omg, truth Be told, though I am no addict of your channel, Daniel, I never fail to learn something new about myself each time I drop by. Importantly, early on watching your reflections of your childhood under the control of your parents, I was inspired to remember all traumas of mind. The process was absolutely devastsing but I emerged with a clearer understanding where I started and what kept me where I was. I even managed to decide for a career change. So thank you for your continued insights🎉 Have a bountiful new year!
Romantic relationships can be a source of healing - they can show a person wtf is actually going on.
right? such a garbage theory, calling everything addiction but never defining what addiction is actually.
Someone's getting defensive...
@@chinmeysway He is quite extreme in his videos. It is his Borderline PD making him see everything in such extremes. It must be exhausting to have such a critical view on everything and lonely making too!
The biggest addiction is thinking.
That is true for me, but I see lots of mothers who are addicted to nurturing, and fathers that are addicted to work.
Ironically my addiction and facing it and dealing with it was what made me look inward
Truly a blessing I stumbled upon your channel. YOu are true.
Much better, Daniel. You are making connections and this reveals awareness. Now, do the work in community and discuss those doing good work in the pursuit of wellness through equity.
I'm addicted to your great content sir
I couldn’t agree more with this I feel there is an addiction to victimizing the self this the reason most have kids now
I don’t care what or how bad our parents or families are. What’s everyone else’s excuse? Come on I’m not buying everyone’s bs. Something is off for so much extreme violence…
In my case it was the opposite, being a mom and witnessing my child’s everyday development reminded me of my own childhood experiences and feelings. It has been painful
Powerful, truthful words.
These addictions are whack-a-mole. I kick the weed and caffeine habit but now I'm addicted to information.
Everyone has an addiction
This is a very astute video. Thank you.
I've been fed up for years at the way my sister allows her son to spend hours isolated with his video games. Every now and then when I really cornered her about it she admitted it was easier on her to have him preoccupied so she wouldn't have to deal with him. She continues to guilt him over it so her own conscience can feel cleared. And our mother was the same, didn't seem to care what we did all day as long as we were out of her hair.
Brother, you didn't just speak this Truth, you sang it!!!
Great topic! Excellent content...=-)
I've always framed those concepts in terms of individuals looking for places of acceptance. Being a parent, being devout, etc., these provide strongly affirming communities to shelter in when you can't find any refuge wherever you currently are. Thanks Daniel, there is a lot to think about in this one.
Get em Daniel
The idea of addiction to romance is barely talked about and such a big problem. I was a victim of that and Its WORK coming back from it.
As soon as I hit puberty my mother had issues. She realized I was actually a human with a personality, likes and dislikes that varied from her. She told me once, she just wanted a daughter that looked like her and liked everything she liked. Parents don’t realize their kids are actual people.
Jesus was a wise teacher whose wisdom can be found in all kinds of great teachers. It was the religious folk at the time that wanted him dead the most. The story exemplifies so many issues going on in today’s world as well as many of the issues you’re getting at in your speech.
Is deferring to/ worshiping the teachings of a guru like Christ not just another comfortable numbing tool of addiction?
Maybe it is for you. That’s unnecessary though imo. I think for many Jesus is a way to most quickly face the absolute pains of existence. Prayer and fasting goes a long way.
Pure wisdom❤
Thanks for another great upload, wonderfully thought provoking