I love how he got angry that he had to stop because of a passing car. Like, sorry for interrupting this clearly private act being conducted in the middle of broad daylight.
@@thehunterjk2521 idk how the fuck he can be comfortable doing this when there is like a billion windows from several buildings facing his direction, like anyone and their grandmother could be watching that shit go down LMAO
Whats horrifying is that people love leaving their cars unlocked. If he gets ahold of your gear shift its over. He'll be slamming that thing from Sport to Park over and over again no cucumber necessary.
@@millo7295because most people aren't dwelling in the cesspits. If you leave the city you can actually live like a civilized person living in a first world country.
When he said "He put a cucumber in the grille of a random car" I was like that's a pretty good harmless prank, then I heard the next part and was bitchslapped by how crazy this world has become
I just wonder if he has a specific car type. Like does he have a preference for lower profile longer vehicles? Or is it maybe a certain exhaust or grille that provides better cuke’n?
if he reuses this cucumber while having so many more, imagine the scope of his operation. we should be scared. I'm not even from the usa and I'm already scared
He is clearly building a gurilla movement fighting the technocracy by means of fucking the symbol and it‘s creator at the same time. If he arms more converts we are all screwed. Well they are too but still
Its a special cucumber he inherited from his father, who got it from his father. Like passing the torch down to the next generation, the lineage of cucoomers continues.
Under the original post on reddit, someone linked another post from the Washington DC reddit, where someone posted about all their cucumbers being stolen from their garden. I'd love for these posts to be connected. It just makes the lore work out lovely.
That might just be the most ridiculous crime I have ever heard. You could have given me a decade to look at this title and make guesses on what it meant. There is zero chance I would have guessed right.
On the flip side, it put into perspective how much I truly hate and look down on humanity when I read the title, saw the thumbnail, and knew exactly what it was gonna be.
That's fair, but then you have to apply that logic to all non-sentient objects, including ones specifically designed for the purpose. I think the issue at hand is more one of property rights and acceptable public behaviour, rather than consent.
@@sadge0 A cucumber is living. Fun fact, plants make noises when they are stressed or dehydrated. Some researchers think this could be like a call for help. That poor cucumber must have been screaming 😱
my dad when he was a kid was outside playing and this septic tank man was messing around with it and his hands were covered in dodoo..well he takes his break reaches into his lunchbox and pulls out his sandwhich...with his poopie hands..my dad stood there in disbelief and horror
I just imagined the criminal doing that but with the Batmobile... Imagine Batman and Robin returning and being like "What...the hell are you doing?" Pretty crazy.
The irony of your statement is that this is why illegal aliens don't go to DC or Baltimore. I spent most of my life in those cities and all the aliens want no parts of those types
This was just the mot recent vid I seen of you but I just gotta thank for the hiccups thing. I literally just hiccuped twice, remembered your vid about it and then told myself they didn't exist. As if I was Morpheus telling Neo this top secret game breaking information. And that was it. Literally insane dude, usually if I got the hiccups it's gonna last for at least a good 20 sets but that was it, as soon as i remembered that they weren't real it was over. You're the GOAT for spreading this info to the masses. I'm honestly shocked, as someone who has been tormented by the plague of hiccups for 24 years now, it's breaking my understanding of reality that the simple trick to get rid of them is to simply believe that they don't exist,
The Reddit post found another story from within the same time period… someone was complaining that a person stole all of their cucumbers: “Someone stealing from my garden live near Truxton Cir. I am more than happy to share food with my neighbors and anyone else who needs to eat, but someone came and stole every single cucumber from my garden this week. Now my kids are sad and don't want to go outside. Who can even eat 3 dozen huge cucumbers?”
@@PBurns-ng3gw I don't think high schoolers should be exposed to this either. Or anyone not in a space of exclusively adults consenting to watch other adults engage in activities of this type.
I read the title, saw the thumbnail, and was like "ahaha does this silly fella leave cucumbers in odd places?" It was so much worse than I could have even imagined
I fail to see the connection. You got a guy in love with a car. Ok. At least he ain’t bothering no one. Then you got this crackhead with a mop on his head going around terrorizing neighborhoods by gaping himself in their drive ways with produce. He even sniffs it. Classic weirdo behavior
As a produce worker, I always look disappointingly whenever I see somebody grab the largest cucumber. 99% of the time I'm sure it's fine, but it's the 1% that gets me. You can build 100 bridges. But if you f**k one horse, you aren't a bridge builder anymore Ight for those asking what the entire quote is/means; "You spend your entire life learning to build bridges to become a bridge builder. You build 100 or more bridges, doesn't matter. But you fck one goat... you're a goat fckr, not a bridge builder" (I think it's Norm Macdonald who made this joke)
Oh no :( I always look for the biggest vegetables because here in the Netherlands you pay per item and not per weight for most of the vegetables. I'm gonna be so self aware about this now 🥲
I screamed “NO” as I read this with such visceral pain my dogs - all four of them - came rushing in to check in on me. This was “concerned dog” level foul. Fucking masterful.
bro i live near and work in dc and what shocks me most is that my favorite TH-camr to listen to at work is covering the story that happened next to my commute
You can see his abilities and talents, how focused and accurate he is when doing his work, you can see his craftsmanship, this is the work of a true professional. He surely premediated and practiced this craft, thoughts and prayers out to those in Washington D.C and the following areas.
I don’t think this one is mechaphilia exactly, seems more like a public/voyeur fetish and the car just happened to be the perfect mounting place for the diabolical act he concocted. But of course hard to say. The funniest shit though is people linking a previous recent mass cucumber theft in that immediate vicinity. I can’t imagine who else would be stealing large cucumbers in that area
During my dispatch training, I flipped to an elevator camera to see a man taking a 20oz nonster can and shoving it in his prison wallet before awkwardly shuffling out of the elevator. He at least gave it a lick beforehand.
We had a serial pooper jogger about a decade ago. They would jog in the morning in DC during the morning traffic, when people are getting to work, and then randomly at some corner waiting for the light to go green, would pop a squat and take a dump and just continue jogging. Somehow nobody could clock this person. Don't know what happened to them.
We had that happen at my high school, which was also in DC. Someone would always take a crap near the running track in the mornings. Eventually it was discovered that one of the teachers was doing it, he’d apparently run a few miles every morning, take a deuce behind the field house, then go off and teach AP Literature or whatever. I don’t know what it is about this city that breeds people like this.
This may possibly be the most disturbing backwards story I've heard. Like what do you do now with the car i feel like you need to take it to like a mechanic guru, change the grill and give it a thorough jet wash. Maybe spend the next few weeks just driving it to a nice tranquil spot comforting it with some classic music on the radio. Dread to think how many times this dude has watched the movie cars.
I wonder if certain models of cars get the job done better then others . Maybe he specifically looks for Nissan rogues cuz they keep a good grip on the cumber
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 86 | คู่เอก "คมเพชร vs ชาติพยัคฆ์"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/m3q_dRYDuU8/mqdefault.jpg)
You weren't lying when you said 4k. That's the clearest security footage I've ever seen.
dragons fucking cars are real??
@test-j7yf off u bot with ur nasty cp stuff
@test-j7yso to you it’s funny when someone loses their pet??
RDC moment
@justinholtman i know it feels cathartic to yell at the bot, but you're actively making the problem worse. Do not engage with the bots.
The gentle morning cheeping of the birds in the background.
@@Isaba9140i kind of thought this had to be a prank, i hope it’s real bc of how hilarious it is
@@acraze2287 i watched the video.. its real
can't even own a car without it getting assaulted in 2024
I love how he got angry that he had to stop because of a passing car. Like, sorry for interrupting this clearly private act being conducted in the middle of broad daylight.
💔 type
Antoine forgot to warn us about this.
can't have shit in DC
@@thehunterjk2521 idk how the fuck he can be comfortable doing this when there is like a billion windows from several buildings facing his direction, like anyone and their grandmother could be watching that shit go down LMAO
Whats horrifying is that people love leaving their cars unlocked. If he gets ahold of your gear shift its over. He'll be slamming that thing from Sport to Park over and over again no cucumber necessary.
:(
@@paladinkhanno motor oil & lubricant either
🤣
What why
WHY DO PEOPLE LEAVE THEIR CAR UNLOCKED
@@millo7295because most people aren't dwelling in the cesspits. If you leave the city you can actually live like a civilized person living in a first world country.
When he said "He put a cucumber in the grille of a random car" I was like that's a pretty good harmless prank, then I heard the next part and was bitchslapped by how crazy this world has become
Me too.
I feel the exact same way
had to take a whole minute pause in between eating my meal after hearing it
I just wonder if he has a specific car type. Like does he have a preference for lower profile longer vehicles? Or is it maybe a certain exhaust or grille that provides better cuke’n?
What do you expect from DC?
“He just rawdogs the cucumber on the grille of this Nissan” is the CRAZIEST sentence I’ve ever heard in my life
4:15
one of those sentences that should never be read outside of fictional novels :/
looks like he friggin sucked it before effing it lmao so maybe was lubed
The thing is I think he lubricated it because if you pay attention before "raw dogging" he pretty much blew it
he didnt tho, he spat in his hand and rubbed it on his asshole in the beginning.
First it was porch pooper, then tow truck guy, now cucumber man. We are truly walking on villain soil
Next, it's going to be the panini prolapser. Their all going to form the real-life goof troop.
@@tao6866t-t-the Panini WHAT NOW? Who let you cook with that one?
whose rogues gallery is this? 😄
@@vinsanity40kDoom Patrol
It's their world, we're just living in it
"Hey! Are you fucking stealing my car?" him: "Not stealing"
"subtract stealing from that statement and you got it"
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂omg lol
I’m glad TH-cam tagged this video as “Important”
LOL
Fr
It's the important video ever
ermmm are you saying its not???
Where do you see it tagged as that?
This dude is an Avengers Level threat. Imagine being late to work only to find a dude fucking himself with a cucumber in the grille of your car.
For real 😂
@test-j7yoh u. Bot
@TITan_boiman2gold don't engage with the bot and it will eventually go somewhere else
I would tell him it's his now 💀.
At this point I'm so done I would just politely ask for him to back away 😂
That cucumber was definitely not dry. He got down on is knees and gave it the old gawk gawk😂
You mean, ...........Hawk Tua??
Nah gawk gawk
H A W K T U A
It was right there
3:14 I like how the passing car hits a trash can just to add to the chaos
Also why did they beep like it was the trashcans fault😂
They hit the trash can? I didn’t see it move or anything
@@ZxZNebula they clearly hit the 12b bin
Bro assaulted so many cars he cant even walk straight anymore lmao
These comments killing me! 😂
😂😂😂😂
Nothing straight about this guy.
@@Silly-s8n 💀💀💀
There was another post on the Washington DC subreddit where someone was talking about how someone stole 3 dozen huge cucumbers from their garden 💀
It's all connected!
The plot thickens
It's a damn syndicate!
if he reuses this cucumber while having so many more, imagine the scope of his operation. we should be scared. I'm not even from the usa and I'm already scared
He is clearly building a gurilla movement fighting the technocracy by means of fucking the symbol and it‘s creator at the same time. If he arms more converts we are all screwed. Well they are too but still
That post sex cigarette and the way he was thinking about his life decisions🤣
He was smoking a j the whole time 💀
then went right back to it
@@august5761 misinformation is crazy
@Cloud, wow you are so smart you dont sound acoustic.
That post nut clarity
5:40 bold of you to assume Pickle enjoyer would waste his precious instrument on such a 1-time event. He could use it to pleasure his cave again
Its a special cucumber he inherited from his father, who got it from his father. Like passing the torch down to the next generation, the lineage of cucoomers continues.
“pleasure his cave”
It’s not a cave, it’s a waste chute with a valve system.
the cave of wonders
Doesn’t it hurt tho?? It’s not even soft.. it’s super hard 😖
Villain name proposal: The Cucummer
the cucsome
CucumMan
Nah cute cummer
villain ?
Approved
The dashcam footage must go crazy
Please…keep this to yourself my minds eye is too vivid and detailed
@@pbee.njayay444no bc the way I felt my whole body pickle from inside out
It must look like driving into a tunnel, except the tunnel is someone's asshole
@@pbee.njayay444😂💀
Bruh 😂😂😂
“Poocumber” is vile 💀
Poocumer
I died laughing 💀
My dog farted an intensely poop smelling fart right as I saw this comment.
PoOcumber smELLoviSion
@@loompy1440 why did I read that last part as "smell ov sion" god I need more sleep, xD
And ass pickle 🥒 😂
Charlie says he didn't lubricate the cucumber, but at 2:13 i'm pretty sure he's sucking it before sitting on it.
He looks around as though privacy was a concern - as though he couldn't simply have used a bathroom somewhere.
somewhere ?
u mean at home (assuming this guy has one which might be bold )
@@jinx8624 No, there are plenty of public restrooms that he could have used. Even a field or a wood.
@@Martial-Mat nah don't fo that in public restrooms keep that sht on your own property
@@jinx8624 a lot worse shit happened already în public bathrooms bruh.
@@jinx8624dudes probably homeless if hes fucking himself on random cars 😭
Without footage I would’ve refused to believe
But it's 2024! Anything can happen 🤗
Under the original post on reddit, someone linked another post from the Washington DC reddit, where someone posted about all their cucumbers being stolen from their garden.
I'd love for these posts to be connected. It just makes the lore work out lovely.
I can't stop laughing this is so absurd
A bot stole your exact comment and got so many likes compared to your's. These bots are so stupid.
It's imperative to ensure public spaces are safe and respected by everyone. It's bewildering that some individuals engage in such distasteful actions.
Bot
That might just be the most ridiculous crime I have ever heard. You could have given me a decade to look at this title and make guesses on what it meant. There is zero chance I would have guessed right.
On the flip side, it put into perspective how much I truly hate and look down on humanity when I read the title, saw the thumbnail, and knew exactly what it was gonna be.
@@Omnihiloyou’re not him buddy no one asked
@@Killerclips420 Weird thing to get mad about but alright. Bye.
@@Omnihilo"but alright. Bye." 💅
@Omnihilo why do you type like that? Idk how to describe it but you sound psychotic
Porch Pooper: I wanna talk to you about a team
Cucumber Crusader:
The assvengers
"not sure how I got here, has to do with spider man I think"
The Offenders
Yes
Would The Golf Pooper qualify? Don't know if he's still does it but he pooped in the holes of a golf course in Norway for over 10 years
4:12 actually earlier in the video you can see him blowing the cucumber
Y
i thought the same thing
TH-cam bot situation is crazy...
@test-j7ywhat. The fuck
@@kissmiasma95 has been for years.
The post game cigarette lmaooo ☠️
"Just because it can't reject you doesn't imply consent" Krillin TFS
That's fair, but then you have to apply that logic to all non-sentient objects, including ones specifically designed for the purpose. I think the issue at hand is more one of property rights and acceptable public behaviour, rather than consent.
Wasn't he talking about living things tho
@@sadge0 A cucumber is living. Fun fact, plants make noises when they are stressed or dehydrated. Some researchers think this could be like a call for help. That poor cucumber must have been screaming 😱
@@EzE-gd3nf too bad the screams were muffled. :(
@@haphazardprism You did NOT need to go that far 😂
Bro's just trying to get his daily intake of vegetables
"intake"
*Don't read my name!!!💀🦋*
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more like daily insert
he gets a good amount of intake AND outtake
Boofing for the fastest way to get nutrients
That's why you can't eat at everyone's house.
And why you don't participate in potlucks
Why does this cucumber taste weird?
Uh huh because I'm sure everyone is f*cking themselves with a cucumber. Shut up.
my dad when he was a kid was outside playing and this septic tank man was messing around with it and his hands were covered in dodoo..well he takes his break reaches into his lunchbox and pulls out his sandwhich...with his poopie hands..my dad stood there in disbelief and horror
buildin up the good ol immune system back in the good old days
you kids these days are sissys @@kimmyfreak200
5:22 I'm sorry HE WHAT??? you're telling me bro rawdogged a cucumber and then probably ATE IT? someone come get their freaky ahh uncle 💀
i hope he at least washed the damn veggie 😭
Quite the pickel he got himself in
You mean quite the pickle he got in himself?
*Don't read my name!!!💀🦋*
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😂
*on
Quite the ASS pickle
So deranged not even Batman would try to rehabilitate him
I just imagined the criminal doing that but with the Batmobile...
Imagine Batman and Robin returning and being like "What...the hell are you doing?"
Pretty crazy.
@@andresanguianozuniga6798 I can definitely see Joker doing that 💀
@@tatafromthehood5573 yeah.
There are no laws against cucumbers Batman
That's why aliens don't visit us
It'd be much worse if those are the reasons they would actually visit us
Pretty sure this is WHY they would visit us, for 'research' purposes
The irony of your statement is that this is why illegal aliens don't go to DC or Baltimore. I spent most of my life in those cities and all the aliens want no parts of those types
No this is EXACTLY why we visit you. We gave you the internet and in turn you have given us so much enjoyment in return.
You know that aliens are into anal probes right? How would this present a problem? If anything it would be like coming home.
This was just the mot recent vid I seen of you but I just gotta thank for the hiccups thing. I literally just hiccuped twice, remembered your vid about it and then told myself they didn't exist. As if I was Morpheus telling Neo this top secret game breaking information. And that was it. Literally insane dude, usually if I got the hiccups it's gonna last for at least a good 20 sets but that was it, as soon as i remembered that they weren't real it was over. You're the GOAT for spreading this info to the masses. I'm honestly shocked, as someone who has been tormented by the plague of hiccups for 24 years now, it's breaking my understanding of reality that the simple trick to get rid of them is to simply believe that they don't exist,
"What are you in for?"
*Eating cucumber* "You don't wanna know"
His cellmate who knows, watching him eat the cucumber: *internal backrooms music*
I’m sure jail is how bro started
Reverse eating cucumber*
"Alright sir, now bend over and cough..and....
wait what did u put in there?"
5:00 and he waddles away, waddle waddle
He's got some grapes for sure
Till the very next day...
@@_Rolyand the duck walked up to the lemonade stand, and he said to the man, runnin the stand
No grapes you say? That cucumber might do
💀💀
4:12 he was in fact blowing the cucumber..
Facts!!! I was saying this out loud, he’s literally kneeling and obviously sucking up the cucumber before going ham🤣🤣🤣🤣
How much more betrayal can I take
3:43, dude walks away smoking a cigarette like nothing happened 🗿
dude smokes that cigarette like he just had the best sex of his life, and maybe he did
Every day I feel more and more appreciative of the somewhat normal friends and family I have around me
You never know what they do in secret
@@haileytavares7143 🤣 Fella go and conspire about your own family
@@user-zm9xf7mo4p everyone has this own secrets hahaha I was making a joke dude
@@user-zm9xf7mo4pit’s true though…
@@milostodorovic69 I can only assume you're basing that off the way you base yourself with your peoples
AI couldn't even generate something this diabolical
I don't know who do you think taught him, then? 😝
AI is only limited to what humans programme it to do😅
4:32 at the beginning it looked like he spit on his hand to bum and them blew the vegetable
We didn’t need a full explanation that makes it so much more disgusting
@@Poison_narcotic2 😟 my bad, Charlie was going on about no lube
Had to be done for Charlie's sake...😢
yea he def prepped a bit, i sed the same thing wen charlie mentioned it lol. sigh this fn planet.
There is another video of him doing this to another car, closer up, and at a better angle. He 100% is blowing it. It's what he did in the other video
Poocumber and asspickle had me laughing so hard I ruined a 1/10,000 epic tetris run that was about to set a personal record.
This is some golden age comic villain shenanigans 😭💀
"Doesn't that hurt you?"
"Do you want it to hurt me, Kevin?"
I'm weak 🤣😂🤣💀
The Reddit post found another story from within the same time period… someone was complaining that a person stole all of their cucumbers:
“Someone stealing from my garden live near Truxton Cir. I am more than happy to share food with my neighbors and anyone else who needs to eat, but someone came and stole every single cucumber from my garden this week.
Now my kids are sad and don't want to go outside. Who can even eat 3 dozen huge cucumbers?”
This raises a question. Are the cucumbers all for his ass or does he lead a league of carcumber ass men?
well...we know what he is doing with the cucumbers...
the plot thickens...
This is a crazy addition to the lore holy shit
ngl i could go through three dozen cucumbers in like a week or so. salads, pickles and snacks, it’s like one of my fav veggies lol
4:30 I disagree he clearly gives the cucumber some sloppy at the start
Why does NOBODY point this out, I half heartedly watched and I still noticed that. So there isn't NO lubricant period
Did no one notice how he also spit on his hand and rubbed his yk what…..
@@neighborhoodturntLITERALLY
literally went to the comments as soon as charlie said it
@@sherrifdan8621RIGHT 😭😭
"That shit is the size of kevin from spongebob" best line ever
who the fuck is kevin
@@shud125 the pickle with glasses
@shud125 The big ass sea cucumber at the jellyfish convention
@@shud125 I'm Kevin.
@@BoxKingKevinHeeyyyyy keviiin, I'm your biggest fan
never taking a cucumber with me to dc ever again
@@BucketJacks Can we report the fuck out of the bot that spammed this comment please?
This might be the most insane amount of bot spam I’ve seen 💀
@@Valus_Ta-aurc save me bro
Bro got hit with the spam bomb
@@BucioTheZenith that's what I do
Worst part is apparently the women who recorded this footage said there are lots of children in this neighborhood
Oh no, that's absolutely disgusting. How can you even think of doing that in public and around kids, too
There's always children everywhere and it definitely is crazy how people have no self control.
Not really. Truxton Circle has a high school (Dunbar), but not a lot of little kids around.
He probably doesn't even live there
@@PBurns-ng3gw I don't think high schoolers should be exposed to this either. Or anyone not in a space of exclusively adults consenting to watch other adults engage in activities of this type.
"Poocumber" was not a new word I was expecting to learn today.
He did his business and walked away. Cool as a cucumber.
That’s dangerous. If it gets loose, it might get slurped up
that would be justice
a poetic epilogue
That’s why you always use the parking brake.
Brand new sentencr
Ugh that's gross
Okay. I went from "What's the big deal? It's just a cucumber." to regretting having ears in just a handful of words.
And eyes too honestly
I read the title, saw the thumbnail, and was like "ahaha does this silly fella leave cucumbers in odd places?"
It was so much worse than I could have even imagined
5:28 "poocumber" is absolutely insane🤣
ITS OUTRAGEOUS!
Geometry dash
We got a cucumber butt villain before GTA 6
He should be added into GTA 6, at least via mods
lol this is why gta is always based in the USA people are crazy XD
Nah, he's the Cucummer.
this is like the guy who was in love with his car but in a whole another level
This is arguably much worse
I fail to see the connection. You got a guy in love with a car. Ok. At least he ain’t bothering no one.
Then you got this crackhead with a mop on his head going around terrorizing neighborhoods by gaping himself in their drive ways with produce. He even sniffs it. Classic weirdo behavior
this is way worse because that's not even his own car
This is what happens when you see every Transformer's movie.
Dude is testing for hidden aliens the only way he knows how, Probing.
As a produce worker, I always look disappointingly whenever I see somebody grab the largest cucumber. 99% of the time I'm sure it's fine, but it's the 1% that gets me. You can build 100 bridges. But if you f**k one horse, you aren't a bridge builder anymore
Ight for those asking what the entire quote is/means; "You spend your entire life learning to build bridges to become a bridge builder. You build 100 or more bridges, doesn't matter. But you fck one goat... you're a goat fckr, not a bridge builder" (I think it's Norm Macdonald who made this joke)
Maybe they're just really hungry, right? Right?
I'm sorry; you're going to have to explain the bridge and horse analogy.
Oh no :( I always look for the biggest vegetables because here in the Netherlands you pay per item and not per weight for most of the vegetables. I'm gonna be so self aware about this now 🥲
You lost me when you mentioned the horse🤨 Could you explain that analogy?
@@ProtoAlphaits basically the idea that you can build a reputation through hard work and time, then lose it in a instant
I dont think he took it dry. Look at his head bobbing at the start lmaooo
2:42 just goes for it 💀
The Nissan's having the time of their life rn
“Excalibur into the stone” was a good enough analogy lmao
"Wh-what are you doing with that cucumber, Ni-ssan?"
The wordplay in this comment section has been great.
I screamed “NO” as I read this with such visceral pain my dogs - all four of them - came rushing in to check in on me. This was “concerned dog” level foul. Fucking masterful.
Zoom Zoom 😜
Why i was reading this in some underaged anime girl voice 💀
@@TaiJason37💀 mate same minus the underage part at least
These are my favourite Critikal videos tbh, just random looks at these complete menaces to society no one else would ever think to cover
if you're gonna ride a cucumber on my whip, i'd prefer you just steal the car at that point
Honestly yeah, I don't want the car anymore. 🤣
Right.... that's your car now...😂
"maybe he's on a 3 cucumber ass-streak, so he's got a UAV online" had me in absolute tears 😂
This is literally the last thing I was expecting to see in my feed…
He and the tow truck guy are going to have a team-up moment
hee
Dude could've just bought a Bad Dragon or something, like c'mon guy
Or he could like, mount the grille of a car somewhere in his own house and use that to fasten his cucumber.
Charles he didn't do it dry...@2:17 you can see his head bobbing as he manually wets the cucumber 🤣💀
Thankyou Cucumber Villain for filling me up in both ways
*Don't read my name!!!💀🦋*
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.
.
yo?
Defeat Project 2025, vote blue this November!
Bro…
Cute-cummer
you slumber.. a cucumber…
*Don't read my name!!!💀🦋*
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.
.
Defeat Project 2025, vote blue this November!
Xavier renegade angel?
I'm so happy someone else remembers that show
ATTENTION: don’t respond to dontreadmypfp21, it is a bot, same for test-j7y
Sadly at first I thought it was gonna be a "banana in my tailpipe" situation.
There’s still a fruit going in a tailpipe so it’s not that different.
4:00 🤣
4:10 i hate that i noticed this... but, in the beginning of the video he spits on his hand, and you can guess the rest.
The cucumber man strikes again
I assumed it was at night. I was wrong. I WAS SO WRONG.
So early the birds are chirping
bro i live near and work in dc and what shocks me most is that my favorite TH-camr to listen to at work is covering the story that happened next to my commute
You can see his abilities and talents, how focused and accurate he is when doing his work, you can see his craftsmanship, this is the work of a true professional. He surely premediated and practiced this craft, thoughts and prayers out to those in Washington D.C and the following areas.
Remember the guy from TLC that had mechaphilia? This is taking it to the next level.
At least with that guy it was "romantical" and "consensual". This dude just SA the car
I don’t think this one is mechaphilia exactly, seems more like a public/voyeur fetish and the car just happened to be the perfect mounting place for the diabolical act he concocted. But of course hard to say. The funniest shit though is people linking a previous recent mass cucumber theft in that immediate vicinity. I can’t imagine who else would be stealing large cucumbers in that area
4:20 What're you talking about? He clearly blew it beforehand, not to mention the bit of spit he puts on his fingers beforehand
1:40… where do you think he got it from??
You know where 😔
he was carrying a bag
Bro couldn't leave behind the evidence
Man i feel sorry for the nearby vegetables and plants who had to see that.
Sounds like he’s speaking Japanese. “Niii-san is being Assaulted!”
4:15 nah dude rubbed up his void with the good 'ol spit-on-the hand maneuver.
Nothing could’ve prepared me for this bombshell of knowledge
During my dispatch training, I flipped to an elevator camera to see a man taking a 20oz nonster can and shoving it in his prison wallet before awkwardly shuffling out of the elevator. He at least gave it a lick beforehand.
Cucumber villain is crazy
*Don't read my name!!!💀🦋*
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"Excalibur into the stone"😢😂😂😂😂
nah he went down on the cucumber earlier you can see his head bobbing on it
We had a serial pooper jogger about a decade ago. They would jog in the morning in DC during the morning traffic, when people are getting to work, and then randomly at some corner waiting for the light to go green, would pop a squat and take a dump and just continue jogging. Somehow nobody could clock this person. Don't know what happened to them.
We had that happen at my high school, which was also in DC. Someone would always take a crap near the running track in the mornings. Eventually it was discovered that one of the teachers was doing it, he’d apparently run a few miles every morning, take a deuce behind the field house, then go off and teach AP Literature or whatever. I don’t know what it is about this city that breeds people like this.
This may possibly be the most disturbing backwards story I've heard. Like what do you do now with the car i feel like you need to take it to like a mechanic guru, change the grill and give it a thorough jet wash. Maybe spend the next few weeks just driving it to a nice tranquil spot comforting it with some classic music on the radio. Dread to think how many times this dude has watched the movie cars.
Haha
Ahhh nah the cucumber wasn't dry, bro prepared it at 2:13 by treating it like a popsicle 🤣🤣🤣🤣
AH HELL NAH WTF😭
I do actually remember seeing this exact video on Reddit. The split second I saw the thumbnail I immediately recognized it
0:35 the fucking whiplash I got from this sentence was insane. I literally spit out my drink like I was in a sitcom. Holy crap.
2:05 that poor car
Why wouldn't he just buy a toy and do it at home like a normal person wth
That’s what I don’t understand… unless he gets an extra thrill by almost getting caught
I wonder if certain models of cars get the job done better then others . Maybe he specifically looks for Nissan rogues cuz they keep a good grip on the cumber