Satan Announces Early Retirement Thanks To TikTok
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ต.ค. 2024
- Thanks to the stellar widespread work of TikTok influencers, Satan has announced his intention to retire early. Despite his 6000-year career of spreading evil and hatred across the globe, he has come to terms with the fact that he just can't keep up with the output of filth and vitriol found on TikTok. Sad.
In all seriousness, what are YOU going to watch next? Stuff that Satan says, or the thousands of videos on @answerstvofficial to help you and your family find answers to your BIG questions about God, Satan, and our world. Subscribe today and start a 7-day FREE trial: getanswers.org...
#comedy #tiktok #christian #babylonbee
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I can't blame Satan for retiring. The competition these days is brutal.
😂😂😂👍
It really is tough, he's retiring to Canada. He's going to help with the MAID program and work with children. So chin up
😂 Schwab, Gates, Bourla, Fauci, Tedros, Biden, Trudeau and Sunak all make Satan look like a choirboy.
@@JackSmith-x8s We mustn't forget Soros.😁
With the great leaps forward that A.I. (automated impiety) makes these days, there is just no place in the world anymore for traditional maliciousness...
Disney mourns the retirement of its most well known CEO.
oy vey
😅😂
He’s moved on to other project, he’ll be around
He's retiring to his penthouse condo in Tel Aviv.
@@artstocker60not before spending some quality time with his homies over at the Vatican...
Anyone else notice that the seven deadly sins (Pride, Envy, Lust, Greed, Wrath, Gluttony and Sloth) are being transformed into virtues?
It's like the seven combined to make social media.
I did notice that. Glad somebody else did. On the other hand, virtuous things like honesty and motherhood are now sins.
Those are made up by the movie seven and are not biblical......
@RTStx1 More like during the middle ages.
WTF?? You know nothing about the Bible or Christianity if you think this LMAO @@RTStx1
The guy who plays the devil there's an absolute comedic genius with perfect timing....
you're a genius for seeing his genius!
AGREED! He made him just a normal guy, not scary. Good move. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry."
That guy is gold. He could make a crap-ton of money in Hollywood if he'd be willing to sign an NDA or two...;)
Too bad he is a zionist and wouldn't say that the real reason he is retiring is because Benjamin netanyahu put him out of work 😂😂😂
Yeah. He’s a GEM. I actually saw the black guy on an old SWAT episode he’s another very good actor
Evil is called good.
Good is called evil.
People are so deceived!
And those are the same people that celebrate Christmas, Easter, and Halloween thinking that they're all good when it's all about evil
Jesus, “ don’t be deceived “…..
This is one of the best shows I’ve ever seen……anywhere.
It's satire. It's meant to be sarcastic and backwards. It's still pretend though. The sad part is, the Bee doesn't even need to try anymore. The communist "anti fascists" will still hate it though. They don't understand comedy. The irony in being "anti facist" and trying to stop any joke that they don't agree with? Pure gold. 11/10.
Deceived are so people!
#FinishedItForYou
I heard that he wanted to run for the Democrat nomination for President but they considered him too moderate.
and too young.
Brilliant and true
😂
@@plaintiveplainvanilla9729 BEST RESPONSE EVER!
BEST COMMENT EVER!!!
he's almost old enough to run for congress
This needs more likes
😂😂😂😂
I thought it was Chuck for a minute til I saw the shirt.
He wouldn’t be caught dead in that.
Maybe even President,, I hear he’s jealous of joes ability to lie, deceive and the sheer number of illegals joes had flooding the country by simply asking them to come. The devils had to do all kinds of tricks to get half those kinda numbers a day.
what are you talking about?....he is still sti...stlillghazrk homefungar zork anyway.... i want some ice cream
If Satan retires dc would be out of business!
Nah, just off to other things...
He couldn't handle the competition.
And Pedo@wood too.
Biden turns in his application for a promotion to Satan
And Hollyweird
You know it's bad when even Satan's job is getting automated
Its being crowdsourced to the mentally ill…
This comment is so underrated 😂
Im using that
I love how he thanks the media and says he couldn’t have done it without them. Too true. 😂
The Devil knows when to call it quits, unlike politicians.
The Hawaiian shirt is a good touch 😂
He knows when he has succeeded, the rest will destroy itself on its own so he can sit back relax and have a nice cold drink.
CALIFORNIA:
Don't you watch the WWE? 🫵😲
In professional wrestling that's considered a "tag out!" 😒😬🙄😈🇺🇲🔥
I don't know....the Devil according to Scripture is only about 3,500 years old Biden has him beat by a 1000 years at least😂😂😂😂😂
unlike Nancy!😂😅
Gotta hand it to him. He gives a Hell of a press conference.
🤣🤣🤣
Your comment is 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
😂
Never thought I would cheer for Satan. This guy is hilarious
Thats a good come back 😊👍
Proud to say I have never been on Tik Tok. There are enough TH-cam compilations to make me disgusted about what is on there.
😂
I haven't either. Never ticked the tock. Why can't the world see that this app was specifically created to divert people's attention and brainwash them, especially the youth?
Me too, I don’t want to touch that even if they paid me.
Exactly! Same here!
The one good thing my country's government did was to ban tiktok.
Can't believe he didn't give a shout out to The View. I guess there's just so many he couldn't thank everyone that helps him.
Oh that was great 😄😄😄
That's true! You would pretty much have to name off the entire mainstream media outlets and almost all of Hollywood.
Watch the other videos. They’re named…
“I couldn’t have done it without you” that hit hard. It’s so true. How humanity has despised and rebelled against our Maker😢
Who needs Satan anymore when most of mankind is doing the work for him?!
How can Satan compete with LGBT?
@@ConservativeGrouch He isn't competing with them, he made them.
@@MultiSky7 True -- but doesn't it seem at times like the student has become the master?
@@ConservativeGrouch yup, and that's why he is retiring. They are now doing better job than he would.
100% Facts
Satan seems kind of down to earth and reasonable, which makes it very odd that the Left likes him so much
😂😂😂
Down to earth .. nice lmao
I guess that means he's pretty good at what he does then, lol
Satan sometimes comes down to Earth in the form of a reasonable guy. Don't trust a down to Earth guy who seems too reasonable. Ewe.
@@MoStBlEsSeD ⚡⚡⚡ 😂😂😂
Word has it, he went back to Georgia to get that fiddle back
From Fani. She's through with the fiddle, isn't she?
@@musicteacher5757 she'll just have her "security guard/boyfriend" get her another one using those taxpayer $
Ha! Best!
Best comment! I miss Charlie.
He would never beat Chalkie.
Working closely with both parties in DC...Priceless!
You don't need the Devil with social media, Disney/Marvel diarrhea and Woke Junkies.😒
“All 6 thousand years of my career.” lol, underrated line
As if humanity started only 6 thousand years ago. lol Babylon Bee is funny but not their bible bias .. United States is like the King Theoden, in the lord of the ring, under a spell ... a very strong abrahamic spell.
Nah, whatever you believe about the age of the world, all creation was good right when Adam and Eve were created, so Satan can't have rebelled before that. ;)
@@Fryx15 people sadly don't count the war against God and satan that got him casted out of heaven which may have took millions of years since god sense of time is way different than ours + Jesus did gave us a hint that the earth was still here when satan got banished from heaven
@@DJLegends how can it have been for that long if Adam and Eve were created and all creation was good?
@@Fryx15But wasn't the serpent the devil tempting Eve in the Garden of Eden? That would mean Satan existed at that time.
Unfortunately, he’s probably lying
Father of all lies
Yep I can imagine he’s just lying. That’s what he does.
Lies more than Odin.
He'll just un-retire like an NFL quarterback.
Yeah; he didn't include "Prince of Lies" in his job title(s).
"Is TH-cam satanic?"
"No! It is just awful."
He's talking about U2.
@@vd3364 which one? A spy plane or a rock band?
@@wazzup233the plane I think .. 🤔
He did say U2 _concert_
@@wazzup233,
What airplane concerts have you attended?
Thanks to the WEF, UN & WHO & FEDERAL RESERVE also.
You forgot CERN😂
“The devil…that proud spirit…cannot endure to be mocked.” Thomas More
Satan opened Tik Tok and was horrified at what he saw.
I notice it’s young people and people in their 50s and 60s that watch that tictac thang .
@@traviscarr6536 Both demographics with too much time on their hands.
@@traviscarr6536I resemble that remark, and never watched one.
@@traviscarr6536 My grandpa watches that I think everyday and he also watches other similar apps.
6000 years working for the same company and not even getting a Gold Watch.
Dude gets a Gold watch every year! Just the inscription is new each year. He's running out of walk in closet space.
He's self employed
@@mayowankenobiAnd after 6000 years and all the "progress" he's made, he *still* can't get himself a gold watch for his own retirement!!??!!?!?!???!!
He *really* must have created Communism! No economic acumen whatsoever.... bit like his lack of acumen when he thought, "I know! I'll kill my own Creator! What could go wrong? 🤤"
I've just answered my own question, haven't I!
🤤😅
LOL
6070 years. It was 6000 back in the 50s IIRC.
The Babylon Bee has been killing this year so far!
The Hawaiian shirt is what really sells it
Especially because Cosby used to be up against *Magnum, PI.*
Now imagine having a neuralink chip and they just pump that garbage straight into your pre-frontal cortex via wi-fi
I have and it's some scary stuff.
🤢
“ I couldn’t have done it without you .” Priceless !!!
Don't forget he also created hook-up culture, feminism, and OF. Everything for destroying relationships.
People made that. He gave us knowledge and free will and didn´t kill the whole world with a flood.
Also, my body, my choice. That's one he really loves.
Once men don’t have a wife/kids to work for the People will be defenseless.
The one that's hit me the hardest. Haha Satan you still can't hold me down boy! He sucks. He's a little wimp and once you turn to God he runs away and hides.
@@ILGuy2012It's truely despicable and breaks my heart. I wish we could all just be better educated about sex and relationships to begin with. Then help young mothers make it through when trouble does happen instead of abandoning them and encouraging abortion.
Calling out Taylor Lorenz and Keith Olbermann.🤣🤣🤣
Who are they? Also, that's not a sentence. What about it?
@@madmanonwheels5150You’re kidding !
Made me laugh
@@madmanonwheels5150Weaponised media hacks
Satan was defeated by his own followers in the evil arena. Even he didn’t see it coming. Now Satan is out of job.
Like Joe Biden?
He wouldn't even get a job at the WEF, not evil enough
Honestly the devil would probably be like that in person - nice on the surface level, so that people get dragged in easier.
Exactly.
True psychopath.
there is a reason they say you enemy tells you what you want to hear, and a friend tells you what you need to hear.
Clearly lucifer was a smooth talker to get so many souls to go with him.
@@princeCustos324 What exactly are you referencing?
LMAO! The Devil's retirement plan is a lake of fire for eternity!
He is right about 1 thing he’s about to be out of business
He prefers that rather than watching TicToc content for all eternity... it's less painful.
Satan had hundreds of thousands of years as a soul farmer, I guess you could say he’s an expert in his field!
Out standing in his field.
Right Hand Man is the Grim Reaper! Yup, definitely Farmers....
My God. Every time I read it, it gets worse but I just come back for more. This is horrible😂Like worst best dad ever! It's like perfect dad level so horrible, so cringy and yet🤦🏾♂️Shit. It's great🤣🤣🤣So so bad! It's like level all the way across the board. And then I just hear a dad voice with the little pause and the shoulder bump around "expert in his field" ehh😆 Masterful🙏🏾
Was soul farmer supposed to be deep? Holy shit.
The Disney kills me. Bust laughing so hard 😂
Jesus has overcome the world!!! Hallelujah!!! Jesus is the risen Lord and will reign forever and ever!!!🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼✨✨✨
That's wonderful. But this isn't a video supporting evil. Its meant to mock it.
I'm concerned for your view point have you looked around outside your own backyard?
Hallelu-YAH!
Alu-lu yeah
Amen
I always figured the bicyclists in my neighborhood were just figuratively Satan. Now I know better.
The World is getting more evil than Satan himself.
The Bee is our modern day SNL.
The Bee has more truth in it than the New York Times!
The Bee is our modern day MADTV, because SNL hasn't been funny or relevant in over 25 years.
@@daowonimdee That's fair.
That Is a a stretch but I do agree SNL is not half of what It used to be.
He didn't take credit for Billie Eilish being a wicked, filthy, vile and Satanic idol for the youth. he really is humble. 😂😂😂
I swear when I went into that coma…Babylon Bee was a satire group….obviously that changed! Best source of News today ;-)
sad but true :(
These skits are highly underrated! Dripping sarcasm….. bravo!
what do you mean? Isn't it a factual news channel ;)?
Satan can't stand the competition.
Nancy Pelosi gave him enough of a run for his money as the worst house speaker in history.
My hats off! Great Great writing guys!
How many hats do you wear, at a time?
Working with BOTH party's in Washington, BRILLIANT AND TRUE!!!
"President Xi...total genius! I'm a huge admirer of his work." 😆🤣
That Royal Caribbean Taylor Swift😂😂 does sound like hell indeed
So Travis Kelce is the devil? LOL
6 billion over 5 years for our border. "A wall is a silly waste of money."
150 billion to Ukraine in one year. "DO IT, SEND IT NOW, their border is a priority!"
Some people may not be able to sense the sarcasm above, and will take it literally.
Making the world safe for big pharm and facebook
Bravo.
They should just let 5,000 Russians into Ukraine each day …..
Jones, with respect, Ukraine is a freedom loving nation that is being brutalized for wanting the very freedoms that some Americans often take for granted.
Also, if their borders are not respected, no border of any country ever will anymore, because every big country will know that it can just walk into any country and have its territory for itself with no repercussions whatsoever. And that will be a very dangerous world in which all of us will be forced to fight and die.
And obviously the US border issue is also a very disturbing and destructive situation, but they are not mutually exclusive at all and could easily be fixed if only both parties would care about the people for a second.
Referring to the MSM: "I couldn't have done it without you!" Ain't dat thre Truth!!!
"Is U2 Satanic?"
"No, they're just awful. "
Truer words have never been said.
I think he meant TH-cam.
Thank you for your service , and God bless you.
Satan actually IS in the service of God...but its not obvious at a 1st glance...fHe SEEMS to be in direct opposition to Him funny but TRUE!
@@mustangmikep51 he‘s a fallen Angel , I think he turned away from god.
This is hilarious.. and scary at the same time 🔥🔥
If you're taking up cycling "again", wouldn't that be recycling?
Drums
Why did he quit? Him & Lance Armstrong used to kill it. ☠️
I don't blame him for retirement his work is done society has officially failed 😂
Bee is simply Brilliant.
Satan could always retire and join “The View” or msnbc.
He'll come out of retirement when the world needs him the most.
Evil always comes in the guise of something else. Tyranny always comes in the guise of safety, hedonism comes in the guise of being a reward or just some harmless self indulgence. Lies start as a way to "protect" people from harsh truths that they aren't able to handle. And sometimes, sure, in the beginning they may be right. Some degree of safety requires a little bit of sacrificing of freedom, some degree of pleasure can be earned for an accomplishment, and sometimes it is better to keep the truth from someone because it may be too much for them too quick, like with children or when it is an unnecessary burden..... but that's how it starts, and what the devil is, is that voice in the back of your head that keeps justifying the next step, and the next one, and the next one, inch by inch, until you've completely abandon what is right and good, and can justify it with "good intentions". We are flawed, we have contradictions throughout our society, but what keeps us on the good side is the willingness to recognize the temptation and reject it, to realize that there's a line where a little may be beneficial, but abuse is harmful. Like a glass of wine with dinner, it can help prevent heart disease, but a bottle after dinner every night can expedite it. The devil will always appear as a compassionate, charismatic figure that tempts you into evil by justifying it one step at a time.
Way too deep...............get a sense of humor and try again
Truly excellent piece!
Sometimes bullshit is just bullshit.
"Working closely with leaders in D.C..of both parties..."Classic!! He wasn't lying there, folks.😂. Same bird, different wings. Like the old saying goes" No matter who you vote for, the government(or satan in this case) always gets in."
I recently heard someone say “same ass different cheeks” which struck me as more accurate.
This is GOLD!
I describe TikTok as a psychological/cognitive version of the "opium wars," only in reverse!
bicycles have same rights as cars!!! people (this quote hits me inexpertly )
You know a comedy idea is good when just the video title makes you laugh.
That was fabulous. Congrats Babylon bee.🤩🤩🤩
HE IS RUNNING FROM WOKE & THE VIEW..🎉🎉🎉🎉
The video is funny but the comments are pure GOLD!!!! 🤣😂🤣🤣🤣
The Bee is one of the best at making fun of the “leaders” of society, people or corporations, thank you.
Honestly, i loved living in a universe where this was satire. Somehow we need to get onto a timeline that isn't truly the path to Hell
In God's good time. We must be patient.
@@scottyb68No, you must learn to stand up for yourself or are you seriously gonna stand by and watch evil unfold right in front of your eyes?
Really! I thought him and Kamala were running mates again. Maybe Corn-pop will be Secretary of Homeland Security. I heard he's a bad dude. lol
Maybe the real reason he's retiring is to pursue a career in politics.
I love the “questions” - missing throwing Drag Queen Story Time! TOO FUNNY (and sadly true🙏)!
I hear there is an opening in the World Health Organization. And Klaus Schwab resigned from the WEF
Kudos for the attention to detail in costume and makeup, especially the red contacts, the black nails, and the exquisite horns!
The red skin and eye color is optional. But you got to have a good pair of horns. The devil is simply not himself without his horns. 😁😄😂
TikTok, Chicoms, Hamas, perverted western civilization, communism, etc. etc., yeah I'd say we pretty much got this.
? What words
And Jews.
C S LEWIS SCREWTAPE LETTERS !! this skit should be in the cover or fly page ! ✌✝️🛐🙏👍😁💪😊
Yes
A good follow-through to the Screwtape Letters.
You do you put a TH-cam skit into a book?
Yes, great one.... You have been outdone by today's most trusted people.!!
There's no greater evil than oneself.
This video is going to age like wine.
Nice shout outs to Taylor Lorenz & Keith Oberman 😂
Saying that this is spot on would be a monumental understatement.
Even satan is fed of the kinds of things we're upto these days.
I figured he'd just play tiktok on loop in hell, but even the demons couldn't stand it.
Genius work here by The Babylon Bee.
Well, he was an angel until he went woke.
Devil: I don't watch that s**t it'll warp your mind!
Bicycles having the same rights as cars is definitely something only the most evil person would know
I rarely comment but this was a wonderful way to start Easter weekend. Keep up the great work!
Devil's Retirment sounds like a badass metal band
Sounds like a fiddle tune or shape note tune to me:
Davisson's Retirement, Minister's Farewell, Bruce's Address, John Adkin's Farewell, Christian's Farewell, Murillo's Lesson, Pilgrim's Farewell, Phillip's Farewell, Sawyer's Exit, Sister's Farewell, Soldier's Delight, etc.
Meh
It sounds more like someone that's in an insane asylum, from smoking so much weed.
@@madmanonwheels5150how do you think metal bands come up with their names in the first place …
best response. *slow clap*@@BENR8108
Satan definitely has a point about tiktok. And all he needed to do was spark the match. The same way he did in the garden those thousands of years ago.
This video is as BRILLIANT as it comes! Might be the BEST Babylon ever done so far! Wow! And, the TIMING!
More original than most shows today. Good work!
Tik Tok, Tik Tok, Tik Tok - the clock is running out for Western civilization.
i don't know las vegas without satan...
Las Vegas has actually become less sinful than Disney by default. Even in Las Vegas, gluttony has replaced lust as the most prominent of the seven deadly sins. At Disney, they are running neck-and-neck.
“Is TH-cam satanic?”
“What? Pfft, no. They’re just awful.”
Perfect delivery 👌
It could've been me, but I thought he said U2
@@hdbricks9492it was definitely U2 because he was talking about going to visit The Sphere ( which is where they’re playing in Vegas) 😅
I thought he said "TH-cam" too, but no. He did say "U2", turn on the captions. What is "U2"?
@@cerebrummaximus3762 U2 is a band. I actually don't know much about them, I have only heard one of their songs.
@@cerebrummaximus3762 A band. A rock band. It was a burn.
That was a heartwarming skit which also really made me think. You know who used to write excellent skits for the Babylon Bee? Adam Yenser!!
Comment from Adam Yenser under a pseudonym
If that was heartwarming......
That was not the intended response
Even Satan admits Defeat...
I often pray that Satan might hesitate to do evil or be given a chance to repent himself, but even I didn't think he'd retire..
😂😂😂
Classic BB! Now I only need to battle the world & my flesh. That’s a relief.
You can say that again 😅