How To Be Alone After Divorce (Without Freaking Out)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 82

  • @xFatal4
    @xFatal4 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    This is me right now. Not sure how to navigate life and be alone in a house with my thoughts

    • @MichiganStinkfinger
      @MichiganStinkfinger 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      Same. It’s hard to sit alone with my thoughts so I try to keep busy. I started volunteering and exercising.

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Being alone with your brain post divorce can be one of the hardest things to navigate.
      I'm hosting a free workshop starting this week that's going to give more details and tools for doing just that. I'd love to have you join us!
      You can register here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop

    • @stevenglumpkin
      @stevenglumpkin 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      How are you now?

    • @marlenehaigler6603
      @marlenehaigler6603 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It’s complete bullshit and everybody telling you to heal for years it doesn’t work. It doesn’t get better. It’s OK to be pissed off that people that treat you bad. I think we should be angry and not sit here and go. Oh cope it’s maddening it’s not fair. it’s bullshit. It’s inhumane to leave a womanalone with her kids and not give alimony or child support after she took care of you for 20 years 30 years these men are assholes.

    • @marlenehaigler6603
      @marlenehaigler6603 21 วันที่ผ่านมา

      There’s no relationship relationships these guys want booty

  • @sessionvoice
    @sessionvoice 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Rachel is legit for real. For me the key is me focusing on me, something I’ve never really done and believing emotionally that I deserve to feel good and then making the time to do things like she is saying

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm glad you're able to take this time to focus on yourself, your healing and meeting your needs. Thanks for the kind words!
      I'm hosting a free workshop this week that goes deeper into emotional regulation and working with strong feelings. I'd love to have you join in!
      You can register here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop

  • @VirginiaBoy703
    @VirginiaBoy703 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    Going through a divorce for no reason and if there are reasons she wasn’t clear to me.

    • @happy11111100
      @happy11111100 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Bottom line is this no one gets divorced through no reason if she was not clear about things do not try and work out why you will go mad if i were you say to yourself why would i want to be with someone who does not want to be with me leave her go and value yourself God bless Bro and good luck

    • @bobthegamer1880
      @bobthegamer1880 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I’m in that same boat brother as much as it hurts I have to take care of me and be myself again later on you will be happy and she will die alone that’s the reality.

    • @k.p.636
      @k.p.636 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      She cheated or she feels she can find someone better. Work on yourself. Go to the gym, earn some money and start to live. Life is great.

    • @theshuie
      @theshuie 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sounds like she was an avoidant attacher. Sorry. It's rough.

    • @Asherons
      @Asherons 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @VirginiaBoy703 Don't let her see you sad or mad now. If she has before, whatever. Now, you will be overconfident. You will hint at going out with friends. Radiate confidence. You're good. You don't NEED anyone. And the women are not going anywhere. There's no single men, and the clubs aren't going anywhere either. Now you are in control.

  • @VirginiaBoy703
    @VirginiaBoy703 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Rachel your really good at this and it’s helping me thanks

  • @dannwhitehead6193
    @dannwhitehead6193 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    I will be 2 years divorced in November. At first it was a hard adjustment. The weekends I didn’t have my kids, I didnt k ow what to do with myself. I was so used to not having time to myself when I was married, that I wanted to go crazy and do reckless things. But then I was also really broke and struggling financially. I have found meet up groups helpful as well as giving up alcohol. I drank a lot because I was unhappy with my situation. Journaling helped a lot

  • @NormallikePeter
    @NormallikePeter 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    The nervous system adjustment is very disrupted. Lose of a primary relationship is shocking to the core. The being alone after 25 years. So disorienting.

  • @TimMillernapavalleyfilmworks
    @TimMillernapavalleyfilmworks 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    This is me 1.5 years post divorce. It’s grueling but I’ve found a great church and friends.

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hi Tim, I'm glad you've found a good support system. That can make all the difference in the world.
      If you'd like more tools, this week and next I'm hosting Live workshops going deeper into the emotional regulation and healing work.
      It would be great to have you join us!
      You can register here: ources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop

  • @steveos5112
    @steveos5112 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Everybody is different. It took me 6 years to finally breakthrough after my divorce and marriage of 28 years. MGTOW and channels like yours helped me answer the questions I had running through my head the “why’s, how and when. I still listen to some content for tuneups but guys I made it through to the other side. I have peace, solitude and happiness. You can too!!

    • @Maddspyder
      @Maddspyder 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I’m know this is temporary but it freaking hurts. Especially seeing her move on.

    • @irenesantamaria254
      @irenesantamaria254 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Not me doing the math to see how long a 7 year marriage can take to get over 😅
      I’ve concluded about 1.5 years

  • @Skiboy3333
    @Skiboy3333 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I know blame can never be apportioned entirely to one side or the other (both sides are usually culpable in some way) but can we agree that if the vast majority of wives/partners from whom we are now separated had even half the depth of empathy, openness, understanding, introspection, and focus on practical solutions that Rachel has, that we may not even be grappling with these situations in the first place? 😂 (i.e., they mighta been just humble enough to try to work things out b4 pullin' the chute).

  • @305-excellence7
    @305-excellence7 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Great video, it’s been nine months for me and I am accustomed to living alone. The only thing I can’t never trust a woman again, I won’t allow it! But great video! Saludos

    • @realjay247
      @realjay247 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I’m the same. Totally do not trust women anymore since my divorce. 2024, too many temptations and the fact that they want more will always ruin a relationship

  • @ericmoresea6461
    @ericmoresea6461 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Yet another helpful video, Rachel - thank you. I use your advice every DAY.
    Side note: I LOVE at the 7:55 mark when you get serious and say, “DO THEM ANY WAY.” Yes, Ma’am. No questions asked. 😄

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hi Eric, I'm so glad you're using the tools in these videos and have found them so helpful. That's awesome. If you want to go a little deeper with me, please join me tonight and next week - I'm hosting a free live training series on emotional regulation for men during divorce.
      You can register here to attend the lives and also get access to the replays (I won't be publishing them on my normal channel): resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/free-workshop
      Thanks for watching and for your kind comment!

  • @ThomasPablo-w7h
    @ThomasPablo-w7h 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I'm going through divorce right and I'll be doing right now listening to advice for both men and women.. it cheers me up

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  11 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you for sharing! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Rachael’s free Masterclass might be really helpful for you right now. It teaches you a step-by-step strategy for calming overwhelming emotions and quieting intrusive thoughts-tools that can support you during this difficult time.
      You can get the Masterclass here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
      Rachael’s BBD Team

    • @ThomasPablo-w7h
      @ThomasPablo-w7h 11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach thank you... Hopefully I can sleep better :(

  • @SplashyCannonBall
    @SplashyCannonBall 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

    My ex wife gave me some of this advice. It works. Another thing is try to stop sharing your feelings. It may be hard but, it really helps to just deal with them privately. For one, it makes them special and for two, it wears them down faster.

  • @GazaNL
    @GazaNL 23 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Thank you so much. This made me feel like im having a chance to survive my divorce.

  • @donatasbagavicius689
    @donatasbagavicius689 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Just divorced. I am broken

    • @kimora7964
      @kimora7964 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Psalms 83:18

    • @KJ-pu8dw
      @KJ-pu8dw 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @donatasbagavicius689_you are reborn if you want to be. You are free. Create a life

    • @georgiabray8746
      @georgiabray8746 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Me too. You are not alone. It’s very scary. He left me and moved out and now I have to worry if I will get any help financially because I can’t make it on my own.

    • @fatnesstofitnessthereandback
      @fatnesstofitnessthereandback 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      How’s it going now 5 months later? I’m 1 month in my wife just left me and moved to a different state.

    • @fatnesstofitnessthereandback
      @fatnesstofitnessthereandback 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Has it been relieved some?

  • @steveholden9139
    @steveholden9139 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The negotiation book is by Chris Voss, Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It. It’s a great read.

  • @francescocalemma
    @francescocalemma 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hobbies, retraining, do something you always wanted to do. Find like minded souls, community is the best thing if you don’t have family around you like I did.

  • @GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx
    @GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Get used to being alone it's gonna be a while

  • @KJ-pu8dw
    @KJ-pu8dw 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Nope. Amazing freedom after divorce! But i felt alone during the last 3 years of marriage.

  • @andrewdoyle3238
    @andrewdoyle3238 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great content Rachael, this helps

  • @MonaghanMLOUISE
    @MonaghanMLOUISE 29 วันที่ผ่านมา +50

    i challenged myself to put away 50% of my monthly income into stock options which is quite easy since I live frugal without debt. I work as an account exec, and make over $20k. $10k goes into stocks, and the other $10k covers my my food plus living expenses. I am seeing improvements in my portfolio, dividends look certain, but I have to attribute this to only to guidance of a licensed fund manager Susan Kay Mack who allocates funds to a plethora of assets. I have to stay disciplined, and remember that I’m in it for the long term.

    • @iuordanmatkov261
      @iuordanmatkov261 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Consistently investing in quality dividend paying companies over the long term is a relatively easy strategy to create generational wealth

    • @adelineChulack
      @adelineChulack 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Looks like she really knows her stuff. I also found her online page and read through her resume, educational background, qualifications and it was really impressive.

    • @MilkovichT.Sandlers
      @MilkovichT.Sandlers 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      That is good discipline.

    • @thomasharryq
      @thomasharryq 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      i feel i downplayed the role of FA's in the past.. now actively looking to get one.

    • @lihuabenchen
      @lihuabenchen 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Impressive!! Also, I did read about Susan Kay Mack on the web, I was able to find her webpage and leave a mail. I'm willing to make consultations to improve my portfolio

  • @Karina_Engr
    @Karina_Engr 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Mostly men and some woman are in their Findout season.
    When you thinks the relationship is going great because she’s not putting up a fight is when she’s just given up. Listen to him/her. The may be nagging, but you taking it as personal attack isn’t helping either. You both need better ways to communicate to each other.

  • @urbanart7325
    @urbanart7325 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    She will also be alone. I wish her all the best

  • @robertneville2022
    @robertneville2022 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I found the solitude to be pure bliss
    When mine was final I felt like I'd been released from death row
    And why would anybody in their right mind want to start "dating " again
    My Ole grand pappy had a saying "that's jumping out of the frying pan into the fire

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  20 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts! It sounds like you’ve really found peace in your solitude, which is such a powerful step in healing. I completely understand why jumping into dating might not feel appealing right now.
      If you're looking for more strategies on how to handle the emotional challenges of this stage, Rachael offers a free Masterclass that could be really helpful. It walks you through the emotional regulation techniques that she uses with her clients, which might give you more tools for navigating this time of healing.
      You can get the Masterclass here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
      Wishing you continued strength on your journey!
      Rachael’s BBD Team

  • @smiles7631
    @smiles7631 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Subscibed thank you. 3 years and I'm starting to accept it fully and be ok. I tried to get on dating sites to fill in the hole quickly after the divorce but that lead no where quick. Just more pain. I am doing ok now though. I would like to see your videos to help cope and move on. Thank you again.

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You're welcome. I'm glad the videos are helpful. Dating right away often backfires, unfortunately. The inner healing work can be scary, but it's well worth it in the long run!
      If you'd like more support, check out my free masterclass - resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
      It has more specific coping tools and gives a step by step process for moving on.
      Thanks for subscribing! It's good to have you here in our YT community.

    • @GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx
      @GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yeah it means get used to being alone, cause that's the rest of your new life, it's been 4 years since my x left me for a drug addict and became one herself and I'm still paying for it, I have no one and it's not looking like that's gonna change

    • @smiles7631
      @smiles7631 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx That is heartbreaking. So is she still coming to you for money? If you have kids together that makes it even harder. I would say you would have to cut her off somehow. If she has your kids and is getting high that is a super bad thing. I will talk to you about if you need someone to vent to. I was caught up in self medicating years ago when I lost a child to a sudden illness.
      I just found this channel myself, and Racheal seems to know what shes talking about.

    • @GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx
      @GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@smiles7631 no, she doesn't come to me for money, I haven't seen her or my kids in 4 and a half years now. She lied to me about breaking up with the guy while we were still legally married, I think the 2 of them planned to use me to get them a house away from the drug dealer they owed money to, I moved with her from Tennessee to new York closer to my family and once I got us into a place she snuck, the shit bag up from Tennessee and into my house at 1 in the morning. I just got out of prison about a month ago for beating the hell out of him. Trust me when I tell you when you get punished for that long and it's associated with losing everything, there's no coming back.

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx that is horrible. I know that when you've been hurt in such a brutally painful way, and especially when it is on-going, it can be nearly impossible to imagine a happier future.
      You deserve to be happy. To be loved. To be held and supported. If you're not already I hope you'll consider talking to a therapist. This is serious trauma you've been through, and it takes a toll on your nervous system, causing it to shut down in ways that leave you isolated and often physically ill. A trauma based therapist can help you gently heal those injuries to the nervous system so you can start to have meaningful relationships again, with healthier partners.

  • @dale116dot7
    @dale116dot7 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    To be quite honest, it would be much better to be able to turn off the biological urges. Everything else I found to be pretty easy. If we could just shut off that biology, we could just ignore women so there is no urge to enter the next relationship. Then we would not be drawn into dating again, because being alone “forever” would be much better, and much easier.

    • @686tobias
      @686tobias 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The answer to your question is a plant called „ Vitex agnus-castus“
      Out of the fruits they make a powder for horses and women. This powder can be bought in capsules. One capsule a day and your desire for the women is reduced by 95 %.
      But if you forget it one day the next day will be long and hard…

    • @DeadCat-42
      @DeadCat-42 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I've been working on a herbal supplement to reduce mens desires. I see a huge market.
      So far my formula contains saw palmetto, licorice root extract and chase tree berry(Vitex agnus-castus)
      Works good, and good for men's health.

    • @realjay247
      @realjay247 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Absolutely agree and that is what I have been doing for the past 8 years following divorce. It screwed me up and I still have not recovered. I’ve become slightly misogynistic

  • @GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx
    @GeoffreyGambier-mg9tx 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    There's the loss of any future period, women hear the word divorce and immediately run

  • @Paul-of3ut
    @Paul-of3ut หลายเดือนก่อน

    My partner cheated on me for the 2nd time and left me when i was all loved up with her, i never expected it she showed no signs of unhappiness one minute she was kissing me telling me how much she loved me then i went to work and came home to nothing, its been 15weeks and i wont lie I'm struggling still, the first 2 weeks was unbearable and i stupidly threw myself of a cliff i survived with a smashed up leg and knee, I have no friends nearby and i just don't know what to do with myself I'm 53yrs old and i didn't want to start over again at my age i don't think i could do it all again, I can honestly say i treated her very well but i guess it wasn't enough. I hope to start the gym soon when i get my leg better. cheating is a very cruel thing to do i was with her 10yrs, my ex wife cheated on me to 12yr relationship gone and my partner before her cheated, maybe its just me but i think I'm done with relationships.

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Hi Paul, I am so sorry to hear about everything you’ve been through-cheating, heartbreak, and feeling isolated. It’s incredibly painful, especially when you gave so much of yourself and it wasn’t reciprocated. It’s clear that you’ve been through a lot, and I want to acknowledge how strong you are for surviving such a difficult experience.
      The feelings you’re dealing with are completely valid. It’s hard to understand why someone would hurt you in that way, and it’s even harder when it happens more than once. But please know that your worth isn’t determined by the actions of others. You are not alone in this, even though it may feel that way.
      I understand your desire to give up on relationships, and it’s okay to take time to heal. Starting over can feel daunting, but healing from this kind of pain is absolutely possible, and there is hope for the future. When you’re ready to move forward, it’s important to focus on yourself and your own well-being.
      I’d love to offer some guidance in your healing process. My free masterclass provides practical steps to help you regain confidence, understand your worth, and start building a fulfilling life after heartbreak. If you'd like to explore these steps, feel free to register here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
      Wishing you strength as you recover and take one step at a time toward healing.

    • @Paul-of3ut
      @Paul-of3ut หลายเดือนก่อน

      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach hi Rachael many thanks for your kind words it means alot, I do hope one day I will find love again but every woman I've been with has cheated on me and I don't know why as I know it's not a sex thing we had a decent s life. I try to get out for a meal but it's hard on my own but I will try harder. I will take a look at help sessions when I get home from work. Many many thanks for your kind words.
      Paul

  • @realjay247
    @realjay247 หลายเดือนก่อน

    8 years divorced and I still have not recovered or been able to move on. I’ve learned to be alone in that time, which is both exhilarating and scary, but you’re better off learning the skills to be alone as people are just going to hurt you. Now I’m too selfish to trust or meet anyone as I’ve now gotten used to the loneliness.

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hi there,
      I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with this for so long. It sounds like you've been through a lot and have really had to navigate this journey on your own.
      Rachael offers a free Masterclass that may be helpful for you right now. It teaches you a step-by-step strategy for managing overwhelming emotions and learning to find peace even in the toughest moments. It could be a great next step to help you break through some of these barriers and move forward in a healthier way.
      Get the Masterclass here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
      Rachael’s BBD Team

  • @DeadCat-42
    @DeadCat-42 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Yes I'm lonely, no I'll never date again.
    I don't need to explain, it's what most men are doing now.
    Misandry and hypergamy are incompatible with relationships.

  • @Asherons
    @Asherons 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Im alone in the marriage.

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  15 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I’m so sorry you’re feeling alone in your marriage. That’s such a difficult place to be. Rachael offers a free Masterclass that you might find really helpful. It teaches a step-by-step strategy for calming overwhelming emotions and quieting intrusive thoughts, the same one she uses with her coaching clients. You can check it out here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
      Roman
      Rachael’s BBD Team

    • @Asherons
      @Asherons 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach Thank you

  • @cfox1400
    @cfox1400 12 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Your never alone god is there weather you believe or not

    • @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach
      @RachaelSloanRelationshipCoach  11 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you for your comment! You’re absolutely right, many find strength in faith during difficult times. If you’re looking for additional support, Rachael offers a free Masterclass that teaches emotional regulation strategies that can help with the overwhelming emotions during divorce. You might find it really helpful at this stage.
      Get the Masterclass here: resources.rachaelsloancoaching.com/masterclass-register
      Rachael’s BBD Team