r/Facepalm | BIG BRAIN TIME

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 6K

  • @yourname8295
    @yourname8295 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2686

    School: *uh Pokémon go is bad bad*
    Call of duty: *visibly confused*

    • @n1thecaptain965
      @n1thecaptain965 5 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      But seriously though, I have no idea why, but those things seem very American, while in the US people are trying to ban videogames, but here in Europe we don't get that ViDeOgAmEs CaUsE vIoLeNcE crap

    • @NeedyBoBeedy
      @NeedyBoBeedy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      N1 the captain Must be heaven.

    • @beascoutly8735
      @beascoutly8735 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@n1thecaptain965"video game about shooting are banned in Scholl" try to guess why brrruh

    • @n1thecaptain965
      @n1thecaptain965 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @@beascoutly8735 first of all, all video games should be banned in school, second of all, I don't remember pokemon being known for its guns, third of all, that school was telling parents to ban those games completely, meaning their child would not be allowed to play that at home, fourth of all, your name sounds like what happens when you just spam randomise in any character creation menu and last but not least, you sound like you're saying that video games do cause violence, which is only a few lightyears from the truth
      Edit: I also never said the word school "smart guy"

    • @beascoutly8735
      @beascoutly8735 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@n1thecaptain965 I forgot to add why in american Scholl for a meme, didnt add it, forgot, my fault. And my nickname, the fuck are u talking about, Be a Scout, cause i love scout in tf2, my childhood. Beascout sounds bad so i added ly, Nicknames like James 782 or Gonzo_mc_2005 are just cringe to me. Your nickname is N1 the captain, so wtf bro. No offense, wanted to make a Joke.

  • @aku_abel
    @aku_abel 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1759

    “I only want my kids to be around intelligent kids, not eczema-“
    My skin: *triggered*

    • @aretard7995
      @aretard7995 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      69

    • @masterbater8197
      @masterbater8197 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Sameee i got eczema too

    • @mrchill2399
      @mrchill2399 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I have eczema too!

    • @js5686
      @js5686 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Same *AND IM INTELLEGENT*

    • @ethernian2461
      @ethernian2461 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yay Eczema squard

  • @mindlessgonzo
    @mindlessgonzo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +839

    Lottery: 100 Million bucks
    Population: 25 Million
    Each Aussie gets a measly 4 bucks.
    It won't even buy one bottle of Victoria Bitter.

    • @manwhopeeslava9504
      @manwhopeeslava9504 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Bro you forgot about taxes🤓

    • @lordbruh993
      @lordbruh993 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      g o o d. p o i n t.

    • @manwhopeeslava9504
      @manwhopeeslava9504 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@beeling4974 it’s a joke calm down kid 🙌

    • @Chris14_
      @Chris14_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@sillygoose42069 i found a baldi video that goes like
      "b h what? Speak! Spit it the f out!" and thats what I think right now

    • @Chris14_
      @Chris14_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@sillygoose42069 to the other guy

  • @StultoTheProto
    @StultoTheProto 4 ปีที่แล้ว +713

    Karen: “I want my kids around smart kids who don’t have autism or any other diseases.”
    Me: *Confused ADHD screaming*

    • @NoName-ld7gg
      @NoName-ld7gg 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      It’s not the fact that they called us “dumb kids” that bothered me, it’s the fact that she thought you can “catch” OCD. Or really any of the mental disorders that she listed! Not only does she trust oils that come from plants over A CERTIFIED DOCTOR, but she’s extremely misinformed.

    • @arandomuser9459
      @arandomuser9459 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Love & Light
      She’s an idiot. I bet she also thinks those things can be cured or whatever.

    • @lavenderaqua2655
      @lavenderaqua2655 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Confused dysgraphic Screaming

    • @ButterB222
      @ButterB222 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      i agree

    • @WolfyFancyLads
      @WolfyFancyLads 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      To be fair, you're saying you're screaming in confusing ADHD, but I imagine that's still better than screaming in Karen. Which is similar, but louder, screechier and with zero brain cells involved.

  • @костячачба
    @костячачба 5 ปีที่แล้ว +826

    "Bleach. The cereal that will both poison you AND unleash your Bankai"

    • @IvanLopez-kc6so
      @IvanLopez-kc6so 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      He said he was going to be in the office tomorrow and will be in the office today but will

    • @stefanbroers8146
      @stefanbroers8146 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      nah the cereal itself is normal the reason the cereal is called bleach is because thats what youre supposed to put in the bow after you put in the cereal!

    • @abbyestea4911
      @abbyestea4911 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I had to look at this for about 1min to get the reference, once I got it I started to laugh. Good job you really got me there

    • @martinkuzmik4240
      @martinkuzmik4240 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Its made by seereal

    • @Artizap_
      @Artizap_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Juan Cortez Muro
      Fuck you

  • @jasonl7293
    @jasonl7293 5 ปีที่แล้ว +249

    4:47 can we talk about how someone would let blind people near a drop about as big as 896 washing machines

    • @jowi4800
      @jowi4800 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      literally made my WHOLE WEEK thank you so much xd

    • @kelf4781
      @kelf4781 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Can anyone measure without the washing machines seriously I just keep on seeing them

    • @jonathankydd1816
      @jonathankydd1816 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@kelf4781 sure, it's roughly 246 minivans

    • @inflatableman4486
      @inflatableman4486 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      How do I Meme or if that’s too complicated then it’s roughly 123 supply trucks

    • @gabecervine8963
      @gabecervine8963 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      1 Grand Canyon

  • @sharlivee
    @sharlivee 4 ปีที่แล้ว +474

    “BATS ARE BIRDS”
    I’ve lost faith in humanity

    • @jackieronaldwayerston6723
      @jackieronaldwayerston6723 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Just because they fly doesn't mean they're birds.

    • @christianjudeberbano7613
      @christianjudeberbano7613 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yep. Bats don't have no feather and they do not lay eggs like birds.

    • @Poetic_Raven
      @Poetic_Raven 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Matnsmith Smith
      *Karen has joined the chat*

    • @Poetic_Raven
      @Poetic_Raven 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Matnsmith Smith
      Karen: YES

    • @zealousdoggo
      @zealousdoggo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Jack Tapman no their a rare specices of photosynthetic bricks

  • @Runistic
    @Runistic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +462

    When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Orange Juice

    • @cafzk3624
      @cafzk3624 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Y e s

    • @best2chill781
      @best2chill781 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      An I usually just make milk or drink lemon juice

    • @YourLocalNobody420
      @YourLocalNobody420 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Why do people spell like “This It Doesn’t Make Any Sense”

    • @x5-x417
      @x5-x417 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      don't make lemonade! Get Mad!

    • @Unoriginal_SpamtonFan
      @Unoriginal_SpamtonFan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Just, just reject make orange juice with actual oranges and use *lemons*

  • @CheeseWeegee
    @CheeseWeegee 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1503

    10:02 So the gap between 98 mil and 24 mil is WAAAY bigger

    • @terribleblakemain
      @terribleblakemain 5 ปีที่แล้ว +163

      And the numbers at the top aren't even above 1 mil

    • @nettart4924
      @nettart4924 5 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      I watched the original video though, it's just showing the gain of subs over time. The person paused it before it fast forwarded to the present.

    • @kingergaming2491
      @kingergaming2491 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      The picture says pewdiepie hasn't reached 2500 subscribers yet

    • @chibaification
      @chibaification 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@terribleblakemain The reason it's like that is the image is the thumbnail for the video and not the actual in video footage. So it's out of context but still, they could have put numbers that were correct for the thumbnail.

    • @tobyfuller-watts8943
      @tobyfuller-watts8943 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Cheese Weegee it’s actually because of the numbers at the top go up to 3,000

  • @theboxoftea9112
    @theboxoftea9112 5 ปีที่แล้ว +662

    When the guy said "no whites" I legitimately thought they were going to be talking about the Caucasians

    • @Thagesthoughts
      @Thagesthoughts 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      To be fair, being white people, I wouldn't blame people for not wanting white people around. We get up to some absolute fuckery sometimes.

    • @TheNaturalnuke
      @TheNaturalnuke 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Deus Vult to that my guy, we’re where most of the Karens come from.

    • @HalbdaemonKite
      @HalbdaemonKite 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Thage Wow you're so brave and special.

    • @absolutecarnage777
      @absolutecarnage777 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      @@Thagesthoughts stereotyping much?

    • @Noir-gk6zu
      @Noir-gk6zu 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@Thagesthoughts Your grammar gives me cancer.

  • @Lingx_Cats
    @Lingx_Cats 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2732

    Ok I'm so sorry, but this needs to be said: As someone who *has* OCD, it is *not* I repeat, it is *not* a form of autism. Ok *Karen* ?
    Edit: Turns out I might actually have mild autism. Doesn't mean my OCD is a part of that though!
    Edit 2: Yeah ok I'm like 99% sure the doctors are going to diagnose me with autism. Well this point got shot by myself.

    • @Frenchaboo
      @Frenchaboo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +170

      Autism makes people more intelligent than usual, too. And eczema is a skin disease. This person had exactly half a brain cell.

    • @Lingx_Cats
      @Lingx_Cats 5 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      @@Frenchaboo I didn't know that about autism, that's interesting. (Unless that's a joke, it's hard to tell over the internet-)

    • @erikburzinski8248
      @erikburzinski8248 5 ปีที่แล้ว +82

      @@Frenchaboo I say that in general autism makes you more intelligent at doing the math and stuff like that but less intelligent figuring out what to do in social situations

    • @justapanpirate
      @justapanpirate 5 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      Erik Burzinski - Autism does not equal intelligence, there’s low functioning (IQ of 70 or less) and high functioning. Some autistic people can’t talk or bang their head against the wall (how a lot of people think everyone with autism behaves, sadly) while others are highly intelligent, very often in specific areas (special interests). They can suck at math but know even the most obscure facts about the Titanic, for example.

    • @Gina-ko9zq
      @Gina-ko9zq 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@justapanpirate IM RIGHT HERE!

  • @bluestreaker9242
    @bluestreaker9242 3 ปีที่แล้ว +262

    "Say what you want. America is the reason you have cars." Ah yes, Mercedes-Benz...my favorite AMERICAN car company. XD

    • @tuluppampam
      @tuluppampam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      What American car brands are out there?
      I think I've never seen one in my entire life, only Italian, German, French, Japanese...
      But anything from the American continent is unknown to me

    • @aidanhunter3687
      @aidanhunter3687 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@tuluppampam Ford, Chevy, GMC, Cadillac, Buick, Dodge, Jeep, Chrysler, and many others

    • @LexusLFA554
      @LexusLFA554 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It would actually be a french invention, but the Cugnot Steamwagon was not really up to the task: It had no steering and no brakes, which resulted in the three wheeled "car" crashing into barracks xD

    • @ashzwolf3443
      @ashzwolf3443 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nien

    • @Ade-ow5hb
      @Ade-ow5hb 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The only american car I've seen is ford

  • @tracks6984
    @tracks6984 5 ปีที่แล้ว +911

    My house is roughly the size of...
    44 by 43 minecraft chests
    Or 68 by 65 beavers
    Or 7200 by 7134 LEGO bricks

    • @arthurwoah
      @arthurwoah 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      Double or single?

    • @erikdimarco4015
      @erikdimarco4015 5 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      OR
      One house

    • @Sevrgpro
      @Sevrgpro 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      So 44 by 43 meters

    • @4nt0s
      @4nt0s 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      What kind of lego bricks though?

    • @kittleo3614
      @kittleo3614 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      4nt0ś Mega Blocks

  • @ice-rv7tz
    @ice-rv7tz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +448

    "...the APM, the APpliance Measurement system"
    Yeah, now it's big brain time

    • @Hapokas112
      @Hapokas112 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nice.

    • @starryfoo
      @starryfoo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      this is now my measurement system

    • @kiio1291
      @kiio1291 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      “How tall are you?”
      “Oh, im approximately 6 microwaves tall.”

    • @starryfoo
      @starryfoo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@kiio1291 im about as tall as 1 1/2 ovens

  • @andreaulle7960
    @andreaulle7960 5 ปีที่แล้ว +411

    2:49 how the heck does eczema make someone unintelligent? It’s literally a skin condition omg

    • @theguythatasked6400
      @theguythatasked6400 5 ปีที่แล้ว +83

      Cause then the skin gets dumb

    • @quadrakyiro
      @quadrakyiro 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Tahmas nice

    • @uoyspoob
      @uoyspoob 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I literally have eczema and am a microbiologist raking in about 100k a year so this Karen makes me so triggered

    • @lunarxxtar
      @lunarxxtar 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That’s part of the facepalm

    • @rocknroll397
      @rocknroll397 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Same I got eczema on the creases of my arms, but I am a dumb bitch

  • @khahl23
    @khahl23 4 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    Past Damien: Kinda shy, reads posts slowly
    Present Damien: *W H E E Z E*

  • @suborgtfo.4433
    @suborgtfo.4433 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2456

    Sees thumbnail..
    *_January is my favorite color_*

    • @sirtchamp8033
      @sirtchamp8033 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      February is my favorite color

    • @lilymcclure2410
      @lilymcclure2410 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Pink is my favorite food.

    • @kiavang7309
      @kiavang7309 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Sub or Gtfo. Burgers are my favorite season of the year

    • @unnamed_rayan7877
      @unnamed_rayan7877 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Mom is my favorite waifu

    • @thenerve9145
      @thenerve9145 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Stupid... Food is my favorite planet

  • @felixroux
    @felixroux 4 ปีที่แล้ว +209

    "The APM - the Appliance Measurement System"
    Yeah, this is big brain time.

    • @literallyafrog367
      @literallyafrog367 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      A Ppliance Measurementsystem

    • @ripcorinna
      @ripcorinna 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      RD i just made a noise i didn’t think was humanly possible while trying to suppress a laugh at this comment. congratulations pfffft

    • @amandasoddy9372
      @amandasoddy9372 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ripcorinna Attention, people of America: We are no longer going to be using the metric system. From now on, we shall be using the AMS- Appliance Measurment System! XD

    • @imbopam198
      @imbopam198 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      actually it's the appliance peasurement mystem

    • @imbopam198
      @imbopam198 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ripcorinna how about we use the length the sound waves that came out of your mouth went to measure how tall people are

  • @alissaroot7014
    @alissaroot7014 5 ปีที่แล้ว +508

    2:15, EmKay logic:
    A ppliance
    P measurement
    M system

    • @anonymousapproximation8549
      @anonymousapproximation8549 5 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      *AP* pliance
      *M* easurement
      system

    • @azetac_
      @azetac_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      the bread snake the P and M are silent.

    • @break_the_galaxy
      @break_the_galaxy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Yeah, this is big brain time

    • @venvvenus
      @venvvenus 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I commented that too

  • @warpey5632
    @warpey5632 4 ปีที่แล้ว +194

    "There are two things that are infinite. The universe and human stupidity. Although I'm not sure about the universe."
    -Albert Einstein

    • @WolfyFancyLads
      @WolfyFancyLads 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      You know, this isn't a new thing. People were slagging off idiots and Karens in 1906 too. Here's a fancy (long af) quote from a book back then:
      FOOL, n. A person who pervades the domain of intellectual speculation and diffuses himself through the channels of moral activity. He is omnific, omniform, omnipercipient, omniscient, omnipotent. He it was who invented letters, printing, the railroad, the steamboat, the telegraph, the platitude and the circle of the sciences. He created patriotism and taught the nations war - founded theology, philosophy, law, medicine and Chicago. He established monarchical and republican government. He is from everlasting to everlasting - such as creation's dawn beheld he fooleth now. In the morning of time he sang upon primitive hills, and in the noonday of existence headed the procession of being. His grandmotherly hand has warmly tucked-in the set sun of civilization, and in the twilight he prepares Man's evening meal of milk-and-morality and turns down the covers of the universal grave. And after the rest of us shall have retired for the night of eternal oblivion he will sit up to write a history of human civilization.
      Now tell me that doesn't sum up stupid people nowadays.

    • @skylanderlego4163
      @skylanderlego4163 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@WolfyFancyLads Ahhhh too many facts and words. -Karen

    • @Chara_Dreemurr999
      @Chara_Dreemurr999 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I agree with everything so far as being mentally unstable myself

    • @shinymimikyu169
      @shinymimikyu169 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "Not all quotes you find on the internet are true." -Abraham Lincoln

    • @thesillynugget619
      @thesillynugget619 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes.

  • @MoonPatch
    @MoonPatch 5 ปีที่แล้ว +366

    I can't tell if this person thinks eczema, OCD, and ADD are types of Autism, or if they know what the autistic spectrum actually means, or if they know literally anything about anything

    • @centurionconrad
      @centurionconrad 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Fluffy Fluff I doubt that person even knows how to add 2 and 2 together. I have ADHD and I have an IQ higher than I care to admit.

    • @wwirelesswwizard
      @wwirelesswwizard 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I literally have all four and all I could think was, "It's better than ending up like you, you used-up crayon. Way better."

    • @eliblount8934
      @eliblount8934 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Fluffy Fluff I have eczema lol I don’t think i have austim

    • @GiornoGiovanna-ed4fm
      @GiornoGiovanna-ed4fm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      i have adhd and ocd and im not even close to on the spectrum

    • @sugarbear4865
      @sugarbear4865 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yeet, I have Asperger’s, so I’m basically autistic, and I’d say I have a higher than average IQ

  • @thundermover4258
    @thundermover4258 5 ปีที่แล้ว +176

    9:45 they are are just past 1,000! It’s always great to see small youtubers growing.

    • @benjaminmudd2071
      @benjaminmudd2071 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Not only that but Markiplier is just so close to pewdiepie

    • @beany_boy7654
      @beany_boy7654 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It’s also the gap difference

    • @patrickshields6954
      @patrickshields6954 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yeah, that graph at 7:22 is amazing.

    • @Jerry-fk4zm
      @Jerry-fk4zm 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It’s also the numbers

  • @starryfoo
    @starryfoo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +624

    Damien: thats the largest piece of wood i've seen
    me: ever seen a tree?

    • @DisKorruptd
      @DisKorruptd 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      largest piece of CUT wood

    • @starryfoo
      @starryfoo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@DisKorruptd do you know what a joke is 😂🤣😂🤣

    • @blamethelag4992
      @blamethelag4992 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Spectre Ewww emojis.

    • @Yan-my7es
      @Yan-my7es 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      why nobody used his line to make some morning wood joke?

    • @creek7663
      @creek7663 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@blamethelag4992 amazing

  • @matrixphijr
    @matrixphijr 3 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    Damien: “It’s called the APM:
    A - Appliance
    P - Measurement
    M - System”

  • @orangezerofive5085
    @orangezerofive5085 5 ปีที่แล้ว +481

    You should avoid excessively violent games.
    A few games you should certainly avoid are: *P O K E M O N G O*

    • @greminboye
      @greminboye 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Oranger D R A G O N V A L E

    • @The-Shagster
      @The-Shagster 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Steer clear of any gps apps to they cause road rage.

    • @wert1234576
      @wert1234576 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah d ont poke mongo it can lead to sudden death

    • @KidKatastrophe2314
      @KidKatastrophe2314 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Michael Franz Granny is a “horror” game. It’s actually pretty fun.

    • @chickensandwich2193
      @chickensandwich2193 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mario Tennis

  • @snartpuffington8642
    @snartpuffington8642 5 ปีที่แล้ว +628

    “That is the largest piece of wood I have ever seen “
    Trees- “Am I a joke to you?l

    • @Jackcantguitar
      @Jackcantguitar 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Snart Puffington I was about to comment the same thing

    • @noxticity364
      @noxticity364 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Yes they are trees aren’t real

    • @scottbecker4367
      @scottbecker4367 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      See trees are not wood. They're woods.
      *Taps forehead*

    • @lawaern3474
      @lawaern3474 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@scottbecker4367 ... Either you need to relearn English, or I just got wooshed.

    • @scottbecker4367
      @scottbecker4367 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@lawaern3474 it's a pun

  • @BraxtonKovary
    @BraxtonKovary 5 ปีที่แล้ว +984

    TH-cam
    Me: ah yes, enslaved portable entertainment

  • @idislikeconflict313
    @idislikeconflict313 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Schools are suggesting to stop playing anything fun.. wow. THIS IS A GREAT IDEA!

  • @loganj9664
    @loganj9664 5 ปีที่แล้ว +407

    Emkay
    Ah yes enslaved laughter.

    • @itzdivinity5988
      @itzdivinity5988 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      SurrealB how dare you have that profile pic of that one TH-cam comment or that probably died

    • @becomeanother
      @becomeanother 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Vesaucey is that you

    • @Elaine..yfghh-628
      @Elaine..yfghh-628 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      We put the S in laughter
      S+laughter=Slaughter

  • @itsthequenchiest5072
    @itsthequenchiest5072 5 ปีที่แล้ว +294

    Can't watch Emkay without headphones. I'll be back later so that I can hear that cancer-curing laugh of Damien's

    • @argentiniangentleman5728
      @argentiniangentleman5728 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same

    • @edaline_
      @edaline_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Juan Cortez Muro that's one way to promote a channel...

    • @Artizap_
      @Artizap_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Juan Cortez Muro
      Fuck you

  • @succcocc9129
    @succcocc9129 5 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    Actually perfect timing! Damien's voice is just so relaxing to listen to before going to sleep.

  • @hannahl5838
    @hannahl5838 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Ok, the quiet, losing faith in humanity “no, no they’re not” killed me
    12:15

  • @6235river
    @6235river 5 ปีที่แล้ว +123

    2:22 I don’t see how this is a facepalm moment? Many people hold the belief that white shouldn’t be worn to a wedding except by the bride. It might be a useless tradition, perhaps, but it’s not unusual or stupid.

    • @FrancisR420
      @FrancisR420 5 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      See I think the facepalm is the person saying they should be able to wear white

    • @KPater-mf4je
      @KPater-mf4je 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@FrancisR420 Doesn't sound like a facepalm moment either. In many cultures, it's customary for the guests to wear white (instead of the bride), especially the men.

    • @aishutoon4553
      @aishutoon4553 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      In some cultures, white is actually worn to funerals, so maybe that’s why.

    • @goldybays8654
      @goldybays8654 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      If I have a wedding, I'm female, I'm wearing a suit. And itll probably be some interesting color like blue or a navy green idk

  • @limboonsiong2812
    @limboonsiong2812 5 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    "When life gives you lemons"
    *Put on sunglasses*
    "Make orange juice

    • @taco4yearsagoedited567
      @taco4yearsagoedited567 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sell the lemons to buy orange juice or trade them for material or money
      😎

  • @lunarweirdo4954
    @lunarweirdo4954 5 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    8:48 "I'm not gay" *Guy then proceeds to compliment the other guy like a gay nice guy creep*
    Yup! Totally not gay.

    • @thedubstepaddict3675
      @thedubstepaddict3675 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Maybe bi tho

    • @legitimate8463
      @legitimate8463 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It is not gay it is friendship.

    • @altrahawk
      @altrahawk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      He forgot to say "no homo"

    • @daughter-of-loki1062
      @daughter-of-loki1062 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      So are men just not allowed to compliment each other anymore? Damn fujoshis

  • @thespinodino
    @thespinodino 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The rant about Bats being birds literally made me clench my fist and flare up like an enraged bull in the ring.

  • @ihatewatermelons2677
    @ihatewatermelons2677 5 ปีที่แล้ว +152

    2:17
    A- appliance
    P- measurement
    M- system
    Nice

  • @kaydenw7229
    @kaydenw7229 5 ปีที่แล้ว +272

    TH-cam 5 years ago: swearing is okay and everything else is fine
    TH-cam now: no saying gun, terrorist, or bomb and you can’t show guns in the video

    • @TFD_Animations
      @TFD_Animations 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      We should have a TH-cam Balloon then if Britian Uses Trump as a free speech thing.

    • @ILikeToLaughAtYou
      @ILikeToLaughAtYou 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@TFD_Animations That whole article was fucking stupid. There is no free speech in the UK...

    • @maxastro
      @maxastro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@ILikeToLaughAtYou Well, it's certainly true speech is less free in the UK than America, since they have hate speech laws. But compared to countries like North Korea the UK has plenty of free speech. XD

    • @ILikeToLaughAtYou
      @ILikeToLaughAtYou 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Brett Symons you sure about that? Might wanna check out Count Dankula and the bullshit he was involved in because of a joke. The UK allows anyone to be offended by anything, meaning just about everything can be taken as a threat, call to violence, or defamation. That’s the problem.

    • @ricinpoisoning9027
      @ricinpoisoning9027 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I just had a thought
      We should raid the TH-cam headcourters and bring a hacker when we do we get the hacker to change TH-cam to the way it use to be

  • @lyn8696
    @lyn8696 4 ปีที่แล้ว +265

    “Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.”

    • @connor2015
      @connor2015 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      This is Mr. New Vegas and I'm telling you that you're nobody till somebody loves you, and that somebody is me. I love you.

    • @apollojustice5338
      @apollojustice5338 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      "Degenerates like you belong on a cross."

    • @ralphthekilla9407
      @ralphthekilla9407 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@apollojustice5338 what

    • @phenom...
      @phenom... 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@ralphthekilla9407 Fallout New Vegas

    • @user-kc2fu8iw3v
      @user-kc2fu8iw3v 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@apollojustice5338 ave, true to ceasar

  • @banhee6839
    @banhee6839 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    9:50
    What genially makes me made is that he doesn't look at the numbers above, 1M but it's under 1.5k. I guess their channel is dying-

    • @NotOxity
      @NotOxity 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I don't know what the fuck you just said but I disagree

    • @luisisthenamelitn6978
      @luisisthenamelitn6978 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@NotOxity Look at the ticks above the three. Started from zero but slowly growing but stopped at 3K (so far), and their channel subscribers stop below the 2K margin.

    • @Tatwinus
      @Tatwinus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      The distance between pewd at 98 mil and mark at 24 mil is the same as between mark and jack at 22 mil.
      Pewds bar is supposed to be twice as long as the other two bars combined, l2graph

  • @seespotbyte9920
    @seespotbyte9920 5 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    on 9:43,
    1.)The graph measures from 0 - 3000
    2.)The gap should be way bigger.
    That's all that I can see.

    • @ktmahko
      @ktmahko 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      3) Where's T-Gay?

    • @sangeetachandrasekhar4339
      @sangeetachandrasekhar4339 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think its cause the vid is only 7 mins and its supposed to be liv? IDK

    • @wolflordy3193
      @wolflordy3193 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can make graphs with axis that scale non-linearly.
      Kind of depends on what you're trying to show through the graphic.
      That being said... The markers on the axis clearly don't match to the subscriber count... So...

    • @seespotbyte9920
      @seespotbyte9920 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@wolflordy3193 Big brain

    • @wolflordy3193
      @wolflordy3193 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@seespotbyte9920 Trust me I recognize that I basically restated your number 1 point but in more words

  • @englishdavemk1
    @englishdavemk1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    9:00 I work in a warehouse, that picture is terrifying.

    • @iceyseal1831
      @iceyseal1831 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am terrified and confused as to how that happened like I really want to look away and hope no one was hurt but also really need to see how this went down...

    • @can_I_get_a_waffle
      @can_I_get_a_waffle 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      We're you safety gear

    • @jermafan
      @jermafan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@can_I_get_a_waffle Thanks I've been looking for you, where's everyone else?

    • @diablorises
      @diablorises 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I've worked in a warehouse as well and thankfully I have never had to experience anything like that.

  • @jake.6730
    @jake.6730 5 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    “That is the longest piece of wood I have ever seen”
    -EmKay 2019
    5:24

  • @relentless_shotgun8207
    @relentless_shotgun8207 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    4:17
    Korean cereals.
    I'm not from Korea myself, but I'm asian so i can tell it's korean
    but don't expect a translation of the korean letters

    • @forestroad_
      @forestroad_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      image searched on google as a korean
      its not cereal
      its just hair bleach

  • @AmazingCherryyyy
    @AmazingCherryyyy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +158

    9:50 I'm pretty sure the r/facepalm is that at the top you can see 0
    100 200 and so on but the actual amount is in the millions but that's my guess

    • @blulere
      @blulere 5 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      Look closely at the bars...
      There should be a big gap between Pew and Markiplier.

    • @marcinjanik666
      @marcinjanik666 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      I think it's because between 22 million and 24 million there is a gap exactly the same size as between 24 and 98 million.

    • @cvspharmacy9179
      @cvspharmacy9179 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@blulere then look at the numbers at the top top

    • @Sierpinski22
      @Sierpinski22 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@cvspharmacy9179 isn't that the number of videos made? (I don't know)

    • @jayanty4048
      @jayanty4048 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Andrew 22 even if it is then that should be labeled

  • @lilvantasfan834
    @lilvantasfan834 5 ปีที่แล้ว +830

    I hate how stingy and sheltered youtube is that Emkay has to censor "gun" and "bomb". Smfh

    • @xskyblade96x87
      @xskyblade96x87 5 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      Don't forget "terrorist" -_-

    • @xskyblade96x87
      @xskyblade96x87 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      it's not like the text is already on the screen or anything. hmph, dum dum TH-cam.

    • @Attackontrashcan
      @Attackontrashcan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      And yet homophobes are allowed to tell me "your friend desvered to die a fithy sinner" and call me a "f*got" wow

    • @Attackontrashcan
      @Attackontrashcan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @I'm a furry. Deal with it. yeah I just have a problem with the fact they told me that "them committing suicide was God's punishment for knowing a f*g" ( I still to this day blame myself for their death so stuff like this doesn't help)

    • @taelim6599
      @taelim6599 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Attackontrashcan If you don't mind me asking, what happened?

  • @garythesnail8863
    @garythesnail8863 5 ปีที่แล้ว +182

    Selling my house about 86 washing machines wide, 52 long looking for about 720 beds worth of cash.

    • @candle_eatist
      @candle_eatist 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      The house is located about
      220,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 microwaves south of the Empire States building of course

    • @Beausboys
      @Beausboys 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Gary The Snail deal

    • @DokiPoki5033
      @DokiPoki5033 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      did you mean in or is it 720 beds worth is cash

    • @SkullbombRaging
      @SkullbombRaging 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@DokiPoki5033 Multiply the cost of a bed by 720, that is how much he is selling it for.

    • @DokiPoki5033
      @DokiPoki5033 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@SkullbombRaging I know i was trying to tell them that they had wrote "looking for about 720 beds worth is cash"

  • @TurtlesTM
    @TurtlesTM 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    9:43 The real facepalm is how Damien didn't notice the numbers at the top being extremely wrong

  • @squingldoo4518
    @squingldoo4518 5 ปีที่แล้ว +802

    Damien: "Is the bar off?"
    The bars: "98 million is close to 24 million."
    Edit: thanks for liking this but I'm sorry, that was the first thing I noticed. I know that there other problems with it
    Edit 2: really? Y'all still doing this to me? Even when I said that that was the first thing I saw?

    • @kurumauzamaki2731
      @kurumauzamaki2731 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      And the bar is in the thousands

    • @theoutsider2376
      @theoutsider2376 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Squingldoo also the graph said they were at 1000 lmao but both

    • @formaline_brk
      @formaline_brk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Forgot about t-losers

    • @itsanormalday_7172
      @itsanormalday_7172 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ruprecht MonkeyBoy that’s. Good

    • @Kreschavier
      @Kreschavier 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@itsanormalday_7172 Swedish person from the vid: BATS ARE BIRDS
      Me: then why dont bats lay eggs. And why do bats breastfeed?

  • @vriskaserketontheps5
    @vriskaserketontheps5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +291

    "The population of Australia is roughly 25 million dollars."
    Wait...

    • @solarthedemon1315
      @solarthedemon1315 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ooof

    • @nakupovani1
      @nakupovani1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Excuse me, but what the *bleep*

    • @marciliomarcal6921
      @marciliomarcal6921 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Someone can please say to me what was the joke??

    • @vriskaserketontheps5
      @vriskaserketontheps5 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@marciliomarcal6921 The population (as in, the PEOPLE there) is roughly 25 million dollars (as in, CURRENCY).

    • @andreamoroni97
      @andreamoroni97 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I suggest you to read again...

  • @uumatter_0106
    @uumatter_0106 5 ปีที่แล้ว +269

    When life gives you lemons..
    Make orange juice!

    • @neroblack2704
      @neroblack2704 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Bite the lemon, assert dominance.

    • @ethanrey98
      @ethanrey98 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Pee on the floor to show the lemon who's the boss.

    • @mionikat
      @mionikat 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lick the lemon and keep licking it

    • @acls1239
      @acls1239 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I mean I get it why that's supposed to be a facepalm thing but I don't know if I'm the one who's supposed to be weirded out but I'm not because I do that I put a touch lemon my orange juice

    • @Sandium
      @Sandium 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      UUMatter_010 No, you make life take the lemons back!

  • @bananimates
    @bananimates 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    5:26 trees: *”ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT???”*

  • @chriiiiis
    @chriiiiis 5 ปีที่แล้ว +366

    2:49
    Okay Karen. While your little baby whooping cough is dying of preventable diseases me and my ADHD are gonna be over here with my 4.0 gpa.

    • @LL-tr5et
      @LL-tr5et 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Papa Cage r/iamverysmart

    • @bigyeetmydudes5005
      @bigyeetmydudes5005 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@LL-tr5et that doesn't work when someone is trying to prove a point.

    • @LL-tr5et
      @LL-tr5et 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Papa Cage fair enough, sorry

    • @legendarytat8278
      @legendarytat8278 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@LL-tr5et
      r/ihavereddit

    • @tibethatguy
      @tibethatguy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@legendarytat8278 no u, buster

  • @watersheep9722
    @watersheep9722 5 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    4:18 my favorite cereal, *bleach!* i better get some before they go out of stock.

    • @lucien1171
      @lucien1171 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Water sheep, I sacrificed many chicken for you, I PraY tO yOu WaTER shEeP-

    • @ninjanorris2006
      @ninjanorris2006 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You get clout just from your name

    • @stupidenby
      @stupidenby 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      thank you water sheep, very cool!

    • @febefox5930
      @febefox5930 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Water Sheep
      I think you mean ‘SEE-real’, since that’s how it’s labeled on the box lmao Just the icing on the cake

  • @greatmaddyave
    @greatmaddyave 5 ปีที่แล้ว +294

    The guest are NOT supposed to wear white at the wedding. That is reserved for the bride as it is HER special day, not yours

    • @shaoshao8157
      @shaoshao8157 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      John Cossack That’s only in some cultures.

    • @vrtuex
      @vrtuex 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      r/woosh

    • @angel-uo6mj
      @angel-uo6mj 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@vrtuex how-

    • @bomiadept
      @bomiadept 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@angel-uo6mj because, a name like itzrealjaxonplays is showing a lot. Itz, meaning they're trying to sound cool and hip, but failing. real, as if there are more than just him. He wants to feel different. Jaxon, his parents seem to go off of the latest trends of names and ages probably range from 20-30. Playz, they like to play games, I see the "plays" bs everywhere. Just... A guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • @Phantom_Fox90
      @Phantom_Fox90 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@bomiadept that's a bit mean.. ^^'

  • @emerald_303z
    @emerald_303z 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    11:13 “as soon as I saw it go to the left” ball: goes right

    • @emerald_303z
      @emerald_303z 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Zkai82 ngl this was a 3am thought

  • @KptKosmit91
    @KptKosmit91 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    13:21 "Population of Australia is roughly 25 million dollars"
    -Damien 2019

    • @cheese9144
      @cheese9144 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      you edited it but it's still wrong tho XD

    • @KptKosmit91
      @KptKosmit91 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@cheese9144 oh, yeah i mean population. i edited previously because the time stamp was wrong

    • @kerchow3907
      @kerchow3907 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      what is the joke tho

    • @Tysxno
      @Tysxno 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ker Chow because it’s wrong

  • @fifaworldcup1994
    @fifaworldcup1994 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    2:15
    A appliance
    P measurement
    M system
    "Yeah, this is big brain time."

    • @jedi_cat_l4976
      @jedi_cat_l4976 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This is a facepalm on a facepalm video.

    • @yourlocalidiot9470
      @yourlocalidiot9470 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      It should be
      A ppliance
      M easurement
      S ystem

    • @JVCS-b6z
      @JVCS-b6z 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@yourlocalidiot9470 no shit sherlock

    • @unlike_joiner6342
      @unlike_joiner6342 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      ah yes
      peasurment

  • @EnzolioLP
    @EnzolioLP 5 ปีที่แล้ว +99

    „ViDeO gAmE bAd“
    I THOUGHT WE LEFT THE 20TH CENTURY 20 YEARS AGO

    • @omard1073
      @omard1073 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Did you not pay attention? Video games weren't even a thing yet 20 years ago *IDIOT*

    • @LoudyMoudy
      @LoudyMoudy 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Omar D what about pac-man, pong?

    • @omard1073
      @omard1073 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@LoudyMoudy I was kidding and making a reference to the video where someone said video games weren't a thing 20 years ago

  • @v2sauce
    @v2sauce 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    "they" "my child"
    Don't know about you, but I hear a strong smell of Toriel in here

    • @marcuswillems7782
      @marcuswillems7782 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      A strong smell of giraffe

    • @amirulamani1487
      @amirulamani1487 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Smit Shilpatul hmm, it's seems to have a lingering scent of ashes and a shattered heart

    • @Nova-bv5qb
      @Nova-bv5qb 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@amirulamani1487 NOOOOO

    • @antenna_prolly
      @antenna_prolly 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      It is just you.

    • @v2sauce
      @v2sauce 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@antenna_prolly
      thanks

  • @fynnthurlow7508
    @fynnthurlow7508 5 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    Me: *just got a filling which means numb face*
    Emkay: I'm about to end this mans whole carrer

  • @lunalumanis4117
    @lunalumanis4117 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    13:22 Australia is populated by $25m.
    I'm imagining millions of dollar bills running around, playing, etc. xD

    • @isaacliebowitz4725
      @isaacliebowitz4725 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He also said that the only thing wrong with it was that there was tax

    • @WooWoo0821
      @WooWoo0821 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I thought it was 100,000,000÷25,000,000is 4 so each Australian would only get 4 $

  • @RyanGotReal
    @RyanGotReal 5 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    9:58 The facepalm here is that PewDiePie's mark should be way farther than Jack's and Mark's subscriber count.
    Also there are others who have more subs than the last two.

    • @LL-tr5et
      @LL-tr5et 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ryan ive watched the video. It's called "pewdiepie vs markiplier vs jacksrpticeye subs" or something like that

    • @avalti9483
      @avalti9483 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      The numbers at the top say 3000 there a couple things wrong with this image...

  • @That1OneKobold2
    @That1OneKobold2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Knowing I have ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, Mild Autism, and etc. I'm amused on how much Karen's don't know. I mean, OCD has never been a bad thing. It basically just forces you to be a perfectionist.

  • @novacommander4297
    @novacommander4297 5 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    APM
    A: Appliance
    P: Measurement
    M: System

    • @cvspharmacy9179
      @cvspharmacy9179 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The ApPliance Measurement = APM system

    • @unauna1612
      @unauna1612 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      JStop88 40 r/woooosh

    • @hknkn_9938
      @hknkn_9938 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@unauna1612 no. Stop using woooosh

    • @novacommander4297
      @novacommander4297 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Guys, come on, I was just doing a thing.

    • @olymolly3637
      @olymolly3637 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@novacommander4297 what thing?

  • @user-fy7hx9gd6u
    @user-fy7hx9gd6u 5 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    Edited the comment so replies won't make sense

    • @XxBobTheGlitcherxX
      @XxBobTheGlitcherxX 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Let's just say Damien was very tired when he made the video...

    • @teamerz7520
      @teamerz7520 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ah yes, your singular brain cell

    • @user-fy7hx9gd6u
      @user-fy7hx9gd6u 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Teamerz
      good one
      Did you come up with that yourself
      Damn so original and creative, I wish I was like you

    • @teamerz7520
      @teamerz7520 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@user-fy7hx9gd6u well not really since your comment said "my brain cell", which implied you only had one

    • @user-fy7hx9gd6u
      @user-fy7hx9gd6u 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Teamerz noice

  • @thedogfromstartrek3204
    @thedogfromstartrek3204 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Just the pain in his voice with the bats when he says “no. no they’re not.”

  • @newsflashnoonegivesashit7059
    @newsflashnoonegivesashit7059 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    1:06 Wait, Kent and Medway? That’s literally where I’m from! 😂😭

  • @dorodorodoro8766
    @dorodorodoro8766 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    2:16 "Its called the APM"
    A- Appliance
    P- Measurement
    M- System

    • @glennthehelper4524
      @glennthehelper4524 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Seems legit to me

    • @Katie-vg3jn
      @Katie-vg3jn 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Appliance peasurement mystem
      This reminds me when my ex once told me I was wearing three layers and I was like three? He said yeah if you count your boobs. And hey they all start with b. So then oc I sat there for a solid minute before asking "Boobs, bra... bshirt?" Couldn't possibly think of what he meant to say. Neither could he.

  • @birdsnestfern5635
    @birdsnestfern5635 5 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    "And now for our new cereal: Bleach! Are you tired of the crippling knowledge that your child's insides are tainted with unholy darkness? Just have them try some of our new Bleach(TM) cereal and their insides will be pristine white!"

  • @inshar5783
    @inshar5783 5 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    r/Facepalm is basically images of people having the IQ of a tennis ball

    • @noneyours
      @noneyours 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That's offensive
      To the tennis balls

    • @ziplinepolarbear6003
      @ziplinepolarbear6003 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Okay how about Snowballs. Because snowballs are also cold and not the most people like them.

    • @rayhayden6220
      @rayhayden6220 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      this belongs in r/rareinsults

    • @ーテイル
      @ーテイル 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      And not so basically... they have their IQ divided by infinite.

  • @yesssint7243
    @yesssint7243 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I remember one time in high school I overheard one kid describe how much water there was left in a bottle as “a slice of water left”

  • @quantummickey6875
    @quantummickey6875 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    5: 01 patrolling the mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter

    • @explainthisclarissa
      @explainthisclarissa 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Quantum Mickey fuck you you know I was gonna subscribe if only to put the actual time

    • @Hapokas112
      @Hapokas112 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@explainthisclarissa What are you trying to say?

    • @foxforfoxes2872
      @foxforfoxes2872 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      dont want that here

  • @pixelpudding3914
    @pixelpudding3914 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    2:37 The orange girl looks so happy because her kids aren’t dead

  • @alicejackson8166
    @alicejackson8166 5 ปีที่แล้ว +102

    "Mammals are confined to the ground"... Just let them find out about dolphins!!!

    • @wizzem7890
      @wizzem7890 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Or bats.

    • @sophie267
      @sophie267 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Or platapus

    • @LL-tr5et
      @LL-tr5et 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Alice Jackson and manatees!

    • @LL-tr5et
      @LL-tr5et 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      snowy the wolf platypus*

    • @bigyeetmydudes5005
      @bigyeetmydudes5005 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      "DoLpHiNs aRe FiSh!1!1!1!!!!1!!111"

  • @brigidberry8963
    @brigidberry8963 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    3:02
    Me ,a person who has ADHD and goes through unnecessary struggles to keep straight A's even though my family never cared about low grades: *visible rage*

  • @paswordwithtwoss
    @paswordwithtwoss 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    School: COC is big no-no
    GTA V and CoD: Allow us to introduce ourselves.

    • @MrShifty1
      @MrShifty1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Well, we can’t have kids getting COC in school. It is illegal, after all.

    • @MrShifty1
      @MrShifty1 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Ash Dean not sure if you got the joke. Say COC out loud.

    • @pastelmask
      @pastelmask 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      What's COC?

    • @justanormalspearton9490
      @justanormalspearton9490 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@pastelmask Clash of Co-

    • @adambaryliuk3393
      @adambaryliuk3393 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Not to mention Pokémon Go, the worst of the worst

  • @vAqeii
    @vAqeii 5 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    My brain has evolved past human comprehension

    • @ryuuducat
      @ryuuducat 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not past. BEHIND human comprehension.

    • @unnamed_rayan7877
      @unnamed_rayan7877 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Speak idiot no iteling

    • @IvanLopez-kc6so
      @IvanLopez-kc6so 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@unnamed_rayan7877 shit bitch for you to come home and get some rest and feel better soon and that is why I am asking for a friend to talk to you about it when I see it

    • @theblandcharlie822
      @theblandcharlie822 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Juan Cortez Muro
      Fuck you

  • @seetri_dusk
    @seetri_dusk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    No matter how shitty my day is, your wholesome laugh and commentary cheers me up and makes it all better. Thank you! :D

  • @therealindoraptor7944
    @therealindoraptor7944 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    As an autistic person,
    VACCINES👏DO👏NOT👏CAUSE👏AUTISM👏
    Tbh it reallly ticks me off when people say that
    And having autism isn’t negative, it’s just different

  • @madladmagyar4823
    @madladmagyar4823 5 ปีที่แล้ว +129

    There’s a kid in my class that thought humans aren’t animals
    Because they don’t have tails
    We’re in 5th grade

    • @NameIsNeb
      @NameIsNeb 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      The worst part is that we have a useless bone who was a tail in some evolutions away, but it isn't gone

    • @okaynite4752
      @okaynite4752 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      We aren't animals....gosh your stupid

    • @heroketchup7504
      @heroketchup7504 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@okaynite4752 Yes..We are? We're mammals..

    • @okaynite4752
      @okaynite4752 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@heroketchup7504 ...........

    • @heroketchup7504
      @heroketchup7504 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@okaynite4752 Was it a woosh? Sorry if it was

  • @esssnake5741
    @esssnake5741 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I live in grande Prairie and I saw the Pringle bomb guy when I was at Walmart

    • @gonnerkat8753
      @gonnerkat8753 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      YES YES YES YES YES YES. Canada FTW.

  • @davidsmith7752
    @davidsmith7752 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    America: *uses washing machines as "standard measurements"*
    Literally every other nation in the world: *internal screaming*

  • @allisoncampbell283
    @allisoncampbell283 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    10:10
    The white numbers at the top!

  • @erinw28
    @erinw28 5 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    If you remember when Slazo ran the channel, you deserve a veteran’s discount

    • @worried_sickk5811
      @worried_sickk5811 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      That Default Skin I remember when I hated Damien at first but now I love him

    • @mishatpr3306
      @mishatpr3306 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@worried_sickk5811 true stuff. at first i didnt bother when it was damien instead of michael, but after accepting the fact it feels like an upgrade

    • @aguy2581
      @aguy2581 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wait why did slazo leave

    • @JesusJavier-MyAccount
      @JesusJavier-MyAccount 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      So the guy with a deep voice was called Slazo?

    • @popsbrando1642
      @popsbrando1642 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ayaan Ayaan go look at this last post on TH-cam, he got in some hot water, not saying what side is right but yeah

  • @rileyslattery8776
    @rileyslattery8776 5 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    When you make cereal, do you pour the cereal or the bleach first? 🤔🤔🤔

    • @bigboyskater-koi
      @bigboyskater-koi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      You eat the cereal dry then wash it down with bleach

    • @rileyslattery8776
      @rileyslattery8776 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      games good choice. My favorite kind of cereal is laundry detergent packs over bleach (of course)

    • @DaemonsAdvocate
      @DaemonsAdvocate 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bleach first, you wanna clean the bowl, take a small sip to make it not so high, then put in the cereal

    • @artilleryman895
      @artilleryman895 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I tend to drink bleach without the cereal

    • @DaemonsAdvocate
      @DaemonsAdvocate 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Turul Kaiser I used to then I found Cinnamon Toasted Tidpods. Best. Mix. Ever.

  • @robertwhite4269
    @robertwhite4269 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    A highschool senior asked our government teacher if Oregon was communist

  • @bec3581
    @bec3581 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    As someone from Grande Prairie, yes I can see that happening.... also it's pronounced 'Grand Prairie' Not 'Grandeh Prairie' lol

  • @the8264
    @the8264 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Solar panel: exists
    Farmer: *now this is avengers level threat*

  • @dingusispingus5987
    @dingusispingus5987 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    For the table one, I couldn’t quite tell if he was being sarcastic

    • @Ausmundurkaison
      @Ausmundurkaison 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I too had trouble with that one

    • @Phantom_Fox90
      @Phantom_Fox90 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      What time was it in the video?

  • @ngocloanphung1360
    @ngocloanphung1360 5 ปีที่แล้ว +96

    woah i didnt know that pewdiepie had 1,500 subs!! thats crazy

    • @horatio1547
      @horatio1547 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You’re late, he has like 7,900 already.

    • @fml1389
      @fml1389 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Dude 7900? More like 9845, idiot.

    • @reggy7706
      @reggy7706 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You guys are late, he has like 10,420

    • @horatio1547
      @horatio1547 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Wow looks like i need to catch up, can’t wait to see him hit 1M haha :)

    • @symptomatic4242
      @symptomatic4242 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Y’all stupid. He was just exposed and lost all of his subs and now he is at -34

  • @me-myself-i787
    @me-myself-i787 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    2:50 There's only one autism spectrum: low-functioning to high-functioning.
    Low-functioning autism disables the kids the most while high-functioning autism disables the kids the least.
    Non-verbal autism is low-functioning.

  • @cruiser1010
    @cruiser1010 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    *big brain time*
    also you should look through r/idiotsincars; you’ll enjoy the karma some people get there

  • @DanielFrederick_Main
    @DanielFrederick_Main 4 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    9:57
    The whole chart is calculating in the 1000s and the TH-cam Subs count is in the Millions...🙄

    • @squashgoogolplex9392
      @squashgoogolplex9392 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The chart was actually showing the view gain/sub gain per day, I think. There _isn't_ actually anything wrong with it.

    • @tedioussugar384
      @tedioussugar384 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      No, the joke is that the chart is stunted wrong. Based on the numbers provided Felix’s bar should be way longer than Mark’s or Jack’s, but instead the chart shows them as being all neck and neck.

    • @tedioussugar384
      @tedioussugar384 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Edit: stanced wrong

    • @pixelknight163
      @pixelknight163 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@squashgoogolplex9392 Yes, of course, even though Pewdiepie has 98m subscribers and Mark only has 24m, they're definitely right next to each other in terms of subscribers.
      Dammit man, with a name including the word "Googolplex" You should've seen it.

    • @pixelknight163
      @pixelknight163 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@tedioussugar384 You could just edit your comment, you do know that right? You didn't need to reply to your own comment in order to-
      You know what? Nvm.

  • @etourdie
    @etourdie 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I think the Braille on the, "Look in the Grand Canyon" binoculars said, "Stereoscope view like".

  • @HeyItsOJ7
    @HeyItsOJ7 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I can confirm, lemons are indeed perfect for orange juice.

  • @noodle4498
    @noodle4498 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I like how at 7:58 the first dude got 420 likes and the second dude got 666 likes

  • @infinityblayde1973
    @infinityblayde1973 4 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    2:50
    Actually though, what the hell!? I am kinda sick of these antivax parents acting like autism is a reason to not vaccinate. IF vaccines did cause autism, which they don't, why is that a viable reason to not vaccinate? Would you rather your kid be autistic or would you rather not have a frickin kid at all?
    Also, sorry if I seem a bit TOO riled up in this, I just hate how some people think autism is like something worse than death. I'm semi-autistic, so it offends me greatly.

    • @reminder8349
      @reminder8349 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I’m just glad my parents allowed the doctors to vaccinate me.

    • @LezardMan002
      @LezardMan002 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The problem is that the risk of getting autism from vaccination IS there....But the odds of that actually happening are a bit higher than being struck by lightning under a blue sky. So why take the risk? Just grin and take the vaccine shot.
      Edit: Actually, take that comment with a grain of salt, because i cant remember WHERE i got that info, so it might not even be true all things considered.

    • @tuluppampam
      @tuluppampam 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@LezardMan002 there is no proof so far that vaccines cause autism
      And vaccines have been around for a looong time
      Also autism imo doesn't seem like such a bad thing (but I have no actual experience with people with autism) because you gain better "brain power" at the cost of relations with people, which I think is a good tradeoff
      You might not be able to do certain jobs but you'll be better in others, so it kinda cancel itself out

    • @ovoid_ovvie
      @ovoid_ovvie 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@tuluppampam NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO O NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
      Sorry about that.
      Everyone on the spectrum is different. That is the worst description of autism I ever heard.
      Oh yeah, also, most of society hates you if you have it.

    • @moadot720
      @moadot720 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Actually I don’t like to be reminded that I have autism because I’m scared that I’ll go non-verbal

  • @derorje2035
    @derorje2035 5 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    13:20 simple math, 100 Mio $ / 25 Mio People = 4 $ p. person. It's not because of taxes just simple math.

    • @andrewwheeler1563
      @andrewwheeler1563 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      der orje You clearly missed the joke here...

    • @matwhite4
      @matwhite4 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Plus we don't get taxed on Lotto winnings in Australia

    • @emperorplatypus4584
      @emperorplatypus4584 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      r/wooosh

  • @jugglypoof8913
    @jugglypoof8913 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    4:38 I love how op censored there own name even though it would show their name in the post lol