Alexander Greene indeed. Almost everything in existence is made from the same thing. So therefore... *extremely exaggerated gasp* food is made of stardust and so is everything else, (apart from nothingness) so DIRT AND STONE MUST BE EDIBLE! Science right there.
Tails is disappointed in your recent decisions:hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Gamerflask Studeos that “humpty-dumpty” was actually a cannon that fell off a castle tower and into swampland, which due to it’s weight was not retrievable.
9:24 To add to that Me: How is prison funded? Government: ....by taxes Me: and I can go to a place funded by taxes for the sole reason of not paying for people to go there? Government: ......yes? Me: makes sense
"You can't an animal lover and a meat eater!" Saint Francis of Assisi was a well-known saint AND an animal lover. And he ate meat. Same for, well, pretty much everyone, including people in animal care associations. We are freaking omnivorous. Deal with it.
Pork upsets my stomach and once you go two or three years without touching bacon and then you try it... Literally tastes like greasy burnt pig with too much salt. And I love meat, and I still love sausage and stuff even though I can’t eat it. But bacon? Repulsive, and I used to love it.
I ate bacon raw as a kid. True story, whenever my mom bought a package, I took like 3 strips and ate them raw. Until I became a vegetarian in high school and been that for over 15 years. So.. your joke is kinda.. lame.
@DIY The North It was a Disney show, and it ended multiple years ago. Just because you watched a show as a kid and liked it, doesn't mean you can't still like it as an adult.
@DIY The North Can you fuck off and go back to your repressive office building of purgatory please? I'm sure your attitude will be appreciated far more by the other lost souls there who were never allowed to have an imagination.
@DIY The North No,silly! It's meant for TV, not for children! ...But seriously though, Gravity Falls is NOT meant for little kids. In fact, It's probably one of the most grown up things Disney's ever made. And have you seriously not watched ANY Disney movies as an adult? If you say yes then you are a hypocrite, if no then you must be fun at parties. Seriously, It's time to realize nobody really grows up. The best days of your life for most people is in your childhood. You should always take the time to be a little more childish evry now and then.
Time for my favourite joke: There was a girl who I knew who was a kleptomainiac. She loved jokes though I had to explain puns a lot to her because she always took things literally.
(6:02) I've been to an escape room. - The door you enter through is unlocked at all times. They can't lock you in for plenty of legal reasons. But you can just pretend it is.
"All languages except sign travel at the speed of sound." HTML, Python, C++, Java, literaly, the friggin bee dance any language if you use a phone.... technically not true.
he posted it on the screen that it was 4 and he berated himself for it, so no need for you to do it again lol i think he is a bit dyslexic as he gets several things backwards especially on numbers in the videos ive watched anyway. :)
is anybody gonna notice he said "im gonna pay you two-dollaers-and-seventy-nine cents for six" instead of "im gonna pay you two-dollars-and-nintey-seven cents for six" at 3:49 lol
“How do I look?”
“With your eyes, Bert.”
Good job
y-you’re not wrong
ernie and bert, the only gods. don't change my mind.
i’m...... 🤣🤣🤣
@UCTuVpXaCLSaDpB-Msbg5WoQ I'm what
Damien’s laughs:
0% coughs
0% giggles
0% laughs
100% *W H E E Z E*
Ah you forgot one.you forgot the smile
You forgot 200% Gasping For Air
Actually its 100% laughs
GD Al may I recommend the Minecraft youtuber Dream
GD Al 1:41
"what is above tenesee?"
"air"
*Well he is making sense.*
Outer Space
no that would be a coin maker making cents
The answer to that guy’s question is Kentucky.
Kentucky
Can confirm since I live in Tennessee that this is 99% true.
“You’ve never actually watched a full movie because you blink” I WILL SHOW YOU WRONG WHERE IS THE DUCKTAPE
Lily and Val NO
Lily and Val PLEASE NO
Duct*
r/cursedcomments
ĐŒ IÞ¡
“I have two brains and you only have one”
“Yeah, but one of those brains is barely developed, and the other one hasn’t been born yet”
how does this not have more likes than the video
@@racheline_nya thats not how it works
Ah yes teenage pregnancy
*slow clap*
This isn’t murdered by words.
can we talk about the fact that the "how high are you" thing was brendon urie and Josh dun?
I'm a panic fan
I love P!TAD and Tøp
@@dreamrexend A *PAN*ic fan ha ha ha get it? Yeah I'm sorry I'll better go now.
CJMRex Freerunning Panic! the at Disco lol
Mina Becke Yesssss
A wise quote for today:
Friends are like trees
They fall down after you hit ‘em with an axe a couple times.
Have you tested this?
So true
Huh, gotta say, trees are way more steadfast and forgiving than my friends.
They stick around for more hits than my friends do.
This was literally on an emkay video
DAMN YOU RIGHT bitch to clean up though
Blindfolded person: "I don't see where this is going"
- Takes off blind fold
"Ah, I see!"
I like this
"ah, I see," said the blind man
@@elite2158 yeah, he does see a blind fold
@media ́s backup channel
r/rareinsults
If you see the prefix 'un' written somewhere, does that mean it's 'un' seen?
"Love is not only blind... it's stupid"
Damn if that aint the truth
Love is a word
Mecha Mecha it’s technically the truth
Screen: $2.97
Emkay: $2.76
*DYSLEXIA 100*
lmao bruh
I wanna play that Elder Scrolls game.
Episode 6 (VI)
In the video: IV (4)
It's true he made a mistake but that does not mean he has dyslexia he just made a mistake
no steel my comment >:O
Brendon Urie: "Do Crabs think fish are flying?"
Josh Dun: "How high are you?"
Brendon Urie: "5'9"
😂😂😂 Brendon Urie is a legend
80%: about Josh and Brendon
15%: about Neo from RWBY
5%: about weird shits
?
3:55
Damien: *says $2.79*
$2.97: *Am I a joke to you?*
Yin Yang it’s okay he’s dyslexic
@@thotrot8262 he also said he was running on an hour of sleep sooooo
Sorrow TV would never mess up this bad
It is a joke.
Bro this ain't funny
let's take a moment to appreciate that this channel isn't another text-to-speech Reddit channel.
AnthraX Poisonillious
*love him or hate him, this guy is spitting straight facts*
GioFilms, Dark Dom, Kingani, Wildspartanz.
Yeah, most of those are botted like reddiculous
@@honey-bun3976 GioFilms was an awesome Reddit reader. Sadly, he quit TH-cam…
well technically it is text-to-speech because Damien is reading text out loud, so he is converting text into speech
Fun fact: there are more airplanes in the sea, than submarines on the sky
Actually, I think there as many airplanes *on* the sea as submarines on the sky right now: 0
@@danielmaher1654 they are planes that can stay on water so..
@@danielmaher1654 :O how did i not think about that
*under
The fbi: you weren't supposed to do that...
"You can't be an animal lover and a meat eater"
I mean you could just like some animals and eat others.
Actually i love my animals then if they die i eat them
I love animals, love them so much they are my favourite food :D
Depends on what you mean by "animal lover" I love animals especially with barbecue sauce
I mean if you love to eat animals you could be both
Actually, it just means you love animals two ways; cute, fluffy/scaly/squirmy/feathery, and alive as well as cooked and on your plate.
‘You’re a brain piloting a bone-mech with meat-armour.’
That may be the truest thing I’ve ever heard.
then why do people beat that armor?
You're not a brain. You are the whole body. The skeleton, the brain, the 'meat-armour', it's all you. You are all of it.
@@jaspermorgan9339 *i am the armour*
Yeah, if you've ever seen a nervous system (eyes included) we're some really fucked up lookin' aliens.
Alexander Greene indeed. Almost everything in existence is made from the same thing. So therefore... *extremely exaggerated gasp* food is made of stardust and so is everything else, (apart from nothingness) so DIRT AND STONE MUST BE EDIBLE! Science right there.
My Siri literally activated when you said, “hey Siri” .
BlueLizard HD same
*has a mother named siri*
I thought it said "Hey Sin" for a second.
*ya would've had a Sinful Siri in your home*
Noob Boot in what way :)
@@gamertrask9153 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Fun fact: there are more stars in space than on earth
Fun fact: There are more humans in space than there are on Earth.
@@ahlpym hol'up
@@bilingualistic8514
It's technically true
@@ahlpym Ok i get it, for a moment i forgot earth was in space too so it counts
@@bilingualistic8514
:)
You are staring at a black screen with flashing lights
Actually, I'm on my phone, so I'm staring at a white screen with darkened sections on top.
Very true. I am in the exact the same situation
HOW DID YOU KNOW
I wish it had deeper blacks. I want an OLED screen!
Technically the Romans are the only people that can say "We crucified Jesus!"
Technically the truth.
Tails is disappointed in your recent decisions hmmmmmmmm
WHY AM I SEEING YOUR COMMENTS EVERYWHERE
Tails is disappointed in your recent decisions:hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Tails is disappointed in your recent decisions and the spiderman miles is better than you
Emkay: “I like your style Noah”
Me my name being Noah: *raised Confidence noises*
Did ya get the boat yet?
Noah Bryant are you related to kobe bryant
me my name being
me my name being
3:10
It’s nice to see Josh and Brendon getting along 😂
“Don’t get one hour of sleep”
Me an intellectual: “however, I did not get one hour of sleep, I got zero.”
Technically true, the best kind of truth there is.
Because it makes you sounds like a douchebag but they can't argue, cause you're right.
"your piloting a bone mech that uses meat armor"
yeah how do i get a new one then?
And why is the armor not very efficient
You get new armor by cell growth
Uh, brain transplant?
You kill someone, peel their skin off, and wear it.
"humpty-dumpty" was actually a cannon that fell off a castle tower and into swampland, which due to its weight was not retrievable.
What point are trying to make
Gamerflask Studeos that “humpty-dumpty” was actually a cannon that fell off a castle tower and into swampland, which due to it’s weight was not retrievable.
@@HoneyEggs ... listen here you little sh*t
Saiavinn nah Im good
*the more you know*
‘You’re a brain piloting a bone-mech with meat-armour.’
does that make me an evangelion
"you never saw a full movie bc you blinked"
me, a intellectual: *pauses before i blink each time*
@Axl Dave then i shall remove my eye lids
10:42
Nobody’s talking about this one much, so I’ll put in my own rap name.
_Young Crippling Anxiety_
I got some young guilt!
@@xaxai127 well I feel like that is at least a descent name.
Young Selfishness
mine is Young Todoroki (bc what i got was young + the last thing that made me happy)
@@Zettos_Malewife I thought it was something you carry around with you everywhere
If you're being driven in a car and you're mad, you've technically have been "driven mad".
“Your rap name is ‘Young’ + something you carry with you wherever you go”
Young Gun
*Yea I’m a quiet kid*
Young existential dread
Young discord
Young Dildo
"Is that a book of facts?"
Forget the book, was that Neo?
Yes.
NEO!!!!!
@@IcecreamNeo
Yup.
@@noox13 if only it were yang...
@@IcecreamNeo
Bruh...
>reads $2.97 as $2.79
>reads IV as 6
jesus christ, dude
just why damien
He also didn't get that episode 4 was the first one to be filmed... *sigh*
He not the only one that read IV as 6, at least he didn't complain wtf IV is 4.
3:08
The fact Brendon Urie said this makes it even funnier to watch
2:08
The guy should've replied with: *"And yet, you don't seem to use either."*
All of Brendon, josh, and Tyler’s tweets are hilarious and I always feel giddy when I see them in places where no one except us knows who they are
neds.a.bit.cudgy YASSSS
Dad washing car with son
Son: uUH dad I think you’re meant to use the sponge-
Bonnalina Fuzbunny In what way
The water is boiling.
@@Grey_Ramen_Hair r/technicallycorrect
2:20
Imagine the robber going
"Gimme the money so I can get your guard a birthday cake!"
"You can't be an animal lover and a meat eater!"
You can if you love eating them
Ok boys, this is getting outta hand, Kay?
@@Noelle_XO I did though. He's never going to reach the truth.
@@Noelle_XO He's doing it over and over
*Piano sounds in the distance*
Giorno Giovanna ha, got Em
Should you be ruling the mafia right now? Stop posting comments and go stop drug traffic, SMH.
You donated on Marcus Veltri’s recent livestream right?
3:07 I think it's funier by the fact its Brendon Urie and Josh Dun
Was the original by them
@@EmiFoz I have no idea, it just says that they posted it
9:24
To add to that
Me: How is prison funded?
Government: ....by taxes
Me: and I can go to a place funded by taxes for the sole reason of not paying for people to go there?
Government: ......yes?
Me: makes sense
"You can't an animal lover and a meat eater!"
Saint Francis of Assisi was a well-known saint AND an animal lover. And he ate meat.
Same for, well, pretty much everyone, including people in animal care associations.
We are freaking omnivorous. Deal with it.
"Give me your best reason for eating bacon."
Me: I mean, have you tried it?
unpopular opinion: bacon tastes bad
Pork upsets my stomach and once you go two or three years without touching bacon and then you try it...
Literally tastes like greasy burnt pig with too much salt. And I love meat, and I still love sausage and stuff even though I can’t eat it. But bacon? Repulsive, and I used to love it.
I ate bacon raw as a kid. True story, whenever my mom bought a package, I took like 3 strips and ate them raw. Until I became a vegetarian in high school and been that for over 15 years. So.. your joke is kinda.. lame.
The Official Yoongi Stan wow sorry for that
*AM HUNGRY*
"love is not only blind... it's stupid."
he ain't wrong.
Technically the turth: Australia is in the future by one day
Depending on where u live, this is incorrerre ct
What if you live in Australia 🤔
Not true
@@lordvoldemort5046 australia completes the year firsrt
1:03
Dad: son come down stairs
Me: I’m coming *cheecks start clapping*
3:10
Brendon?! Josh?! What are you guys doin' here?? XD
Joooooosh
👏🅱👏🅱👏🅱👏🅱👏🅱👏
they have always been here, what u talking about XD
YOU MEAN BREADBIN AND JISH. BUT JISH DOESNT EXIST
Pastel Bunny josh had never existed
11:01 Dude Gravity Falls is the best show ever. You should watch it. It's phenomenal.
I still remember the whistling tone of its intro.
I can hear it now
@DIY The North It was a Disney show, and it ended multiple years ago. Just because you watched a show as a kid and liked it, doesn't mean you can't still like it as an adult.
@DIY The North Can you fuck off and go back to your repressive office building of purgatory please? I'm sure your attitude will be appreciated far more by the other lost souls there who were never allowed to have an imagination.
@DIY The North No,silly! It's meant for TV, not for children!
...But seriously though, Gravity Falls is NOT meant for little kids. In fact, It's probably one of the most grown up things Disney's ever made. And have you seriously not watched ANY Disney movies as an adult? If you say yes then you are a hypocrite, if no then you must be fun at parties. Seriously, It's time to realize nobody really grows up. The best days of your life for most people is in your childhood. You should always take the time to be a little more childish evry now and then.
We´re time travelling at one seconds per second
"Alright hold up a second"
"Ok you´re good"
I laughed to hard i almost peed myself
Human: A ghost controlling a brain inside a skeleton that’s covered in hairy meat that gets power from blood.
At 08:12 "5!" means "5 factorial", which is 5*4*3*2*1 = 120
Glad I'm not the only one who noticed that.
omggg of course, I was so confused for a sec there
Omg i knew it was a trick
wdym? I don't get the joke, if you solve the problem it does equal 5
@OpGamers you meant order of operations then
You enjoyed this sub reddit a bit too much, I can tell.
Wow, you have atleast 5 likes
Wow you have at least 169 likes
Wow, you have Atleast 183 likes
Wow, you have at least 242 likes
Wow you have at least 261 likes
6:09
Black Panther: I never *Blink*
Also Black Panther: *BLINKS*
If butt cracks were horizontal imagine an element school during dismissal on the last day of school
O h.
O h g o d
Zoie Pogoreski of course I can read it
Zoie Pogoreski we have eyes so we can read it
Here’s another one
Me: I haven’t slept for 365 days last year
You: how?
Me: I slept at night
@Kyle Kraus same except i get 2 hours of sleep and 6 if im lucky
You guys get sleep?
Kyle Kraus I am a EMS
I get 8-10 hours of sleep. Yay I take care of myself.
@Kyle Kraus you have to be a 13 y/o girl
I don’t know why Neo was used for the meme at 5:06 but I’m not complaining
I was looking for this comment lolol
Same
It not the right way its rwby's way
finally a rwby fan
I was wondering if anyone would point that out
That one about the Half Korean Girl got dark really quickly.
3:08 IS MAH BOIS, Brendon Urie from Panic! At The Disco and Josh Dun from Twenty One Pilots, WoOOo
josh dun:How high are you
No one:
Literally nobody:
Not a single molecule in the universe:
That one kid: no, it’s high how r u
I’m dumb (￣▽￣)
JOSHHHHH
jishwa
jish
Time for my favourite joke:
There was a girl who I knew who was a kleptomainiac. She loved jokes though I had to explain puns a lot to her because she always took things literally.
i think literalist would be better
@@dobstan9448 woooohs
@@koolcid9710 ugh im slow, ignore my dumbass
Kool Cid r/therewasanattempttowhoooosh
@@plasmaticlmao *-Yes.-*
3:10
No, it’s “Hi, how are you?”
0:43
I love how he goes from a Karen voice, to a Damien voice
You are now immune to all “like to undo” comments
you’re welcome
My welcome what?
What is it? What happened to my welcome?
Thank God
My bad lol😂
No I'm not.
I'm a human
oh my god i didn’t realize brendon urie and josh dun would be in this video i am so glad i clicked
same
they aren't lmao
Those were fake tweets as far as I know... But not 100% sure
TRUE
I laughed so hard at the "will you be long?" one only after his laugh
A man is on trial for eating an innocent man
Judge: plead your case
Man: well sir if it’s true we are what we eat then I am an innocent man
Omg lmao 😂
WAIT HE ACTUALLY REACTED TO THE TWEETS FROM JOSH AND BRENDON OMG
I love both of them so much
Also know brendon he probably was high
I was waiting for him to notice
I KNOW ITS GREAT
i wheezed
Mia Lisa Tufano yesssss
Hey Damien can we get some more cursed comments
Cursed
Cursed
@@muczkaplif y'all curse once more i'm gonna ban you from this server
tishafeed Cursed
Yes
11:34 ok how is this wrong he is literally correct
3:55 *says $2.79 when it actually reads $2.97* the real reason i love EmKay
(6:02) I've been to an escape room. - The door you enter through is unlocked at all times. They can't lock you in for plenty of legal reasons. But you can just pretend it is.
*trows clock out the window”
Me:TimE FlYs
Mom: leave
flies*
The Brendon Urie joke gets me every time, mostly cause I’m band trash, but also high people are hilarious.
An argument in a taxi:
Customer: I stole this taxi's wheels.
Driver: This is getting us nowhere.
3:08 brendon and josh with their crazy shit again
MultiFanSarah i stan that
yep
10:42
Young Bone Mech with Meat Armor
W H A T
Ok nice
@@giornogiovanna2008 *Son? Is that you?*
-underrated-
I've got so much meat armor. -not fat!-
"All languages except sign travel at the speed of sound."
HTML, Python, C++, Java, literaly, the friggin bee dance any language if you use a phone.... technically not true.
It's chirstmas morning at exactly 4:46 in the morning that comment was hilarious thanks for making my day even better
I just realised.
1969 is when the moon landing happened.
19-69...nice
i have seen your pfp so many fucking times, is this the new oh yeah yeah
@@j3.199 oh yeah yeah it is
cursed being No it’s just to classify who’s unfunny for the funny people
This has 70 likes 1 too many
Did you know? They named the year 1969 because it came after the year 1968, how crazy!
5:12 is that a RWBY book of facts template why haven’t I seen this before?
NEO!
Look on r/fnki
when taken literally, saying "i am pansexual" and saying "I do pot" are the same thing
The fact that the "do crabs think fish are flying" one was Josh and Brendon XD
My favorite post like this is something like:
"According to all available evidence, I am immortal."
"What is this evidence??"
"Haven't died yet."
Episode IV is episode 4.
VI would be 6.
That was painful to hear
Jack Owen yea, the joke wouldnt make sense if it was 6
he posted it on the screen that it was 4 and he berated himself for it, so no need for you to do it again lol i think he is a bit dyslexic as he gets several things backwards especially on numbers in the videos ive watched anyway. :)
@@supposedly1-2 yes
K
I don't know why people hate dad jokes and puns
I freaking love them
5:05 that’s Neo Politan from RWBY.
Video: Says “Hey Siri, what is 200?”
My phone: AnSwErS with I could not find any Taco Bell’s near you
3:12 fellow emos rejoice that half of the quartet was featured in this video
YES
*happy emo noises*
Why are there so many of us
@@angelnoukie i appreciate your pfp
@@emo_weeb_stanie1019 thank you
hospital
English: hospital
Dutch: ziekenhuis
Italian: ospedale
german: *KRANKENHAUS*
is anybody gonna notice he said "im gonna pay you two-dollaers-and-seventy-nine cents for six" instead of "im gonna pay you two-dollars-and-nintey-seven cents for six" at 3:49 lol
This video literally made me have an existential crisis
I’ve seen that Brendon and josh one cycling around and it makes me laugh every time
Damien: don't get 1 hour of sleep, im miserable rn
Me: **laughs in insomniac**
8:15 you actually activated my Siri, good job I guess
Damien: *claps* *OH BOY IT’S CHRISTMAS!*
Yes, it is about a butt
OMG THANK YOU FOR ADDING THE BRENDON URIE AND JOSH DUN ONE😂
Kylie MUA ikr
honestly we stan that
Wildrock Nations we do
1:34 "Love is not only blind, it is also stupid" The smartest thing I've ever heard on any TH-cam channel
Friend: *Sleeping*
Me: WAKE UP WE NEED TO SLEEP
Friend:.......