I actually had a friend group at my church that were never really my friends. I always thought they actually were friends when in fact they used me quite a lot and I was always the last resort kinda “friend” for them. I never made the connection until right now. 🤯 Thank you for the content you share.
I didn't percieve the two-faced cruelties as bullying directly, but I could always tell something was off when everyone else laughed and I couldn't figure out what was funny. Unfortunately a lot of my bullying was just outright attacks
Yes, this is so true! I was bullied quite often and at the same time it didn't even bother me that much. A good example of this is how a former schoolmate came up to me one time after he moved to the same city as me. He apologized to me for treating me badly, and I didn't even understand what he meant, I said that he didn't have to apologize. I literally didn't even know that I was bullied back then, but he knew that it was bullying, but it at least wasn't even that bad compared to what I had encountered before. Then he told me that I had been very weird in school and that he didn't understand it, like me sometimes eating bread without any spread on it or the fact that I liked to be alone in class instead of going outside. I think that comment was worse then finding out you have been bullied because he judged and criticized me and made me aware of it, while I wasn't aware before. I did realize sometimes that I was bullied though, in a different class there was this guy who "introduced" me to his friend group, he thoroughly enjoyed it as funny when he held a "birthday party" for me where I was constantly the butt of the joke, they made me drunk and while at "the party" they phoned their friends where they laughed about how hilarious that was. That was even obvious to me and I was glad that I stayed down a year, so I changed classes.
It only appears I'm immune to bullying. Writing this before I watch to see if it relates. People try to bully and I really don't notice it at that time thanks to delayed emotional processing. So they don't get what they expect from me, no dopamine hit and causes them more frustration. In high school guy told me he wished he could be like and not care bout anything people say. It hits me later that though. Then I have this blunt honesty and like point details that make bully very uncomfortable, not that I'm trying to do that. Then days later I'm questioning their intention and feeling hurt.
@@DiamondEyez456when parents can’t accept seeing parts of themselves in their own kids that they are in denial of, they are not able to accept their kids. With some autistic people, when their parents have no tolerance of their different-ness, it may also be because those parents were punished as children for being different and they are unconsciously or sometimes consciously 😢 passing that trauma down to the next generation.
Great topic, and great content. 9:00 - I understand the intent here, but "playground angel" is just a nice way of saying "playground rat". It's not the responsibility of children to create a safe environment for autistic kids. It's the responsibility of the school, and the adults it pays to supervise children at play. Encouraging children to become informants opens them up to retaliation and ostracizing by peers. It shifts responsibility from adults, and "parentifies" them. Parentification is a form of child abuse. It's inflicted on children by neglectful parents who shift the responsibility for child care to the child. I'm autistic. I was diagnosed at age 57. Both of my parents were abusive, and both employed parentification as a strategy to avoid the work required to properly care for and provide a safe environment for me and my and my little brother. A couple of examples: 1) At 6 years old, I had to walk 1/2 mile to school every morning. As part of this journey, I was forced to cross a 4 lane highway (Bastencherry Road in Fullerton, California) with cars moving at freeway speeds. Without a traffic light, stop-sign, or crosswalk, much less a crossing guard. Twice - 5 days a week for my entire first grade year. 2) When I got home, there were no parents. I was a "latchkey kid". My mother hid a key under the doormat. I had to let myself in, and wait 2 hours for her or my violent father to come home for company. 3) School was worse. I was attacked and physically assaulted on the playground the very first day of school. Afterwards I was sent to principals office for standing on my desk and screaming "SHUT THE F*K UP!!!!" over and over again as I melted down in response to the loud unruly fluorescent lit classroom I found myself in after the assault. This happened repeatedly. I failed to learn to read (learning disability / dyslexia / ADHD) and had to repeat 1st grade. I was once beaten so badly the second time I went through first grade than my ears bled from having my head slammed against the Monkey Bars in the sandbox. I ended up in the hospital. I learned right away that telling a teacher only made things worse. I was on my own. It was a nightmare All the while I was blamed for being lazy, misbehaving, ect. I received beatings at home from my father, and the cold shoulder from my mother. It never stopped. All through elementary school, middle school and highschool. I finally dropped out of high school my freshman year at age 15, and never went back. Through it all I never blamed my peers as much as I blamed the adults who turned a blind eye to their bullying and violence. I learned early on that the only way to stop the violence was to FIGHT BACK. Immediately and viciously. I never had any trouble from a bully after I stood up to them and fought back. Ever. Bullies are cowards. They prey on people who don't fight back. Word got out that I was crazy because of hard I fought back. I beat one bully senseless with a metal lunch-box in 3rd grade. Bigger kid named Toby who'd been pushing, shoving and tormenting me at the (unsupervised) school-bus stop for weeks. One day I'd had enough. I completely lost control, and wailed on him with my Snoopy lunch box. I now understand that I was in full meltdown. I hit him with it so hard he ran away screaming and crying. I was terrified afterwards that he'd find me on the playground and retaliate when I no longer had Snoopy It never happened. Toby never so much as looked at me again after that. The little f*ker steered clear of the weird kid with the Snoopy lunch box after that. So did most of the other kids, which was fine by me. You don't have to include me in your circle of friends. Just leave me alone, and it's all good. Start pushing me around physically, and it's not going to end well. Self defense is a basic human right. So again, it's not up to children to police themselves. It's up to adults to closely monitor the behavior of the children they supervise, and insure a safe environment for everyone. Punish and shame the bully, not the autistic kids they attack without provocation. Make examples out of them with swift and terrible justice, and the cowards will drop to the bottom of the social pecking order. Where they belong. Again, great topic, and great content. Thanks for posting =)
I'm sad to hear that you had those experiences as a kid and most importantly thank you for sharing your story! This is so valuable. I pray that others come and read it because I believe your story needs to be shared. Yes, it is the responsibility of the adults to look after the kids. I agree with that. There's so much to heal from our childhood... if I told you how many hours I've spent in therapy healing little versions of me. It was time well spent. And many more hours to come. Thanks again for bravely sharing your story here.
This article is a joke. They absolutely realize they are getting bullied and are hurt more than others but don't know what to do about it so they just suffer through it. This article is dangerous and misleading.
Did you listen to the whole video? She pretty accurately summarizes what it's like to be an autistic girl in particular. Girls are viciously subtle bullies for the most part, and yes some of us can tell it's bullying specifically, but some of us just understand that the Peer Group has rejected us and think it's our fault. This was my experience for years because the school adults told me I was overreacting and my bullies were "just joking."
@@mchobbit2951 Just because her experience and my experience are common doesn't mean yours isn't, or isn't valid. There's no one monolithic autistic experience. The way girls tend to bully is *often* more subtle but not always, just as I and some others *often* were confused by it, but not *always*. Regardless of whether we immediately knew it or not, what happened to both of us was intensely, completely wrong and we were failed by the systems and people who were supposedly put there to help us.
![กี่หมื่นฟ้า | Your Sky Series EP.1 [1/4]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/vLGjxFL6U_I/mqdefault.jpg)
I didnt realize i was being bullied, until someone told me and it crushed me. Sometimes i see it as people trying to taunt me.
I actually had a friend group at my church that were never really my friends. I always thought they actually were friends when in fact they used me quite a lot and I was always the last resort kinda “friend” for them. I never made the connection until right now. 🤯 Thank you for the content you share.
It's hard and at the same time healing to look back at those moments... thanks so much for sharing your story here.
I didn't percieve the two-faced cruelties as bullying directly, but I could always tell something was off when everyone else laughed and I couldn't figure out what was funny. Unfortunately a lot of my bullying was just outright attacks
I’m sorry you had to go through that. I also believe in karma and don’t you worry. Karma will get them. Your innocence is your biggest protection.
Thank you for sharing! I’ve been bullied and it was a terrible experience 😢😢😢 Being autistic is very stressful sometimes 😢😢😢
Yes, this is so true!
I was bullied quite often and at the same time it didn't even bother me that much.
A good example of this is how a former schoolmate came up to me one time after he moved to the same city as me. He apologized to me for treating me badly, and I didn't even understand what he meant, I said that he didn't have to apologize. I literally didn't even know that I was bullied back then, but he knew that it was bullying, but it at least wasn't even that bad compared to what I had encountered before.
Then he told me that I had been very weird in school and that he didn't understand it, like me sometimes eating bread without any spread on it or the fact that I liked to be alone in class instead of going outside. I think that comment was worse then finding out you have been bullied because he judged and criticized me and made me aware of it, while I wasn't aware before.
I did realize sometimes that I was bullied though, in a different class there was this guy who "introduced" me to his friend group, he thoroughly enjoyed it as funny when he held a "birthday party" for me where I was constantly the butt of the joke, they made me drunk and while at "the party" they phoned their friends where they laughed about how hilarious that was. That was even obvious to me and I was glad that I stayed down a year, so I changed classes.
It only appears I'm immune to bullying. Writing this before I watch to see if it relates. People try to bully and I really don't notice it at that time thanks to delayed emotional processing. So they don't get what they expect from me, no dopamine hit and causes them more frustration. In high school guy told me he wished he could be like and not care bout anything people say. It hits me later that though. Then I have this blunt honesty and like point details that make bully very uncomfortable, not that I'm trying to do that. Then days later I'm questioning their intention and feeling hurt.
What if your parents are your bullies?
Unfortunately this happens to some people. In this situation autists are again more vulnerable than others.
@@NeurodivergentMom thank you for replying. Yes, yes we are. I am so grateful for your channel. 🙏
@@DiamondEyez456when parents can’t accept seeing parts of themselves in their own kids that they are in denial of, they are not able to accept their kids. With some autistic people, when their parents have no tolerance of their different-ness, it may also be because those parents were punished as children for being different and they are unconsciously or sometimes consciously 😢 passing that trauma down to the next generation.
Great topic, and great content. 9:00 - I understand the intent here, but "playground angel" is just a nice way of saying "playground rat". It's not the responsibility of children to create a safe environment for autistic kids. It's the responsibility of the school, and the adults it pays to supervise children at play. Encouraging children to become informants opens them up to retaliation and ostracizing by peers. It shifts responsibility from adults, and "parentifies" them. Parentification is a form of child abuse. It's inflicted on children by neglectful parents who shift the responsibility for child care to the child.
I'm autistic. I was diagnosed at age 57. Both of my parents were abusive, and both employed parentification as a strategy to avoid the work required to properly care for and provide a safe environment for me and my and my little brother. A couple of examples:
1) At 6 years old, I had to walk 1/2 mile to school every morning. As part of this journey, I was forced to cross a 4 lane highway (Bastencherry Road in Fullerton, California) with cars moving at freeway speeds. Without a traffic light, stop-sign, or crosswalk, much less a crossing guard. Twice - 5 days a week for my entire first grade year.
2) When I got home, there were no parents. I was a "latchkey kid". My mother hid a key under the doormat. I had to let myself in, and wait 2 hours for her or my violent father to come home for company.
3) School was worse. I was attacked and physically assaulted on the playground the very first day of school. Afterwards I was sent to principals office for standing on my desk and screaming "SHUT THE F*K UP!!!!" over and over again as I melted down in response to the loud unruly fluorescent lit classroom I found myself in after the assault. This happened repeatedly. I failed to learn to read (learning disability / dyslexia / ADHD) and had to repeat 1st grade. I was once beaten so badly the second time I went through first grade than my ears bled from having my head slammed against the Monkey Bars in the sandbox. I ended up in the hospital. I learned right away that telling a teacher only made things worse. I was on my own.
It was a nightmare
All the while I was blamed for being lazy, misbehaving, ect. I received beatings at home from my father, and the cold shoulder from my mother. It never stopped. All through elementary school, middle school and highschool. I finally dropped out of high school my freshman year at age 15, and never went back. Through it all I never blamed my peers as much as I blamed the adults who turned a blind eye to their bullying and violence. I learned early on that the only way to stop the violence was to FIGHT BACK.
Immediately and viciously.
I never had any trouble from a bully after I stood up to them and fought back. Ever. Bullies are cowards. They prey on people who don't fight back. Word got out that I was crazy because of hard I fought back. I beat one bully senseless with a metal lunch-box in 3rd grade. Bigger kid named Toby who'd been pushing, shoving and tormenting me at the (unsupervised) school-bus stop for weeks. One day I'd had enough. I completely lost control, and wailed on him with my Snoopy lunch box. I now understand that I was in full meltdown. I hit him with it so hard he ran away screaming and crying. I was terrified afterwards that he'd find me on the playground and retaliate when I no longer had Snoopy
It never happened. Toby never so much as looked at me again after that. The little f*ker steered clear of the weird kid with the Snoopy lunch box after that. So did most of the other kids, which was fine by me. You don't have to include me in your circle of friends. Just leave me alone, and it's all good.
Start pushing me around physically, and it's not going to end well. Self defense is a basic human right.
So again, it's not up to children to police themselves. It's up to adults to closely monitor the behavior of the children they supervise, and insure a safe environment for everyone. Punish and shame the bully, not the autistic kids they attack without provocation. Make examples out of them with swift and terrible justice, and the cowards will drop to the bottom of the social pecking order.
Where they belong.
Again, great topic, and great content. Thanks for posting =)
I'm sad to hear that you had those experiences as a kid and most importantly thank you for sharing your story! This is so valuable. I pray that others come and read it because I believe your story needs to be shared.
Yes, it is the responsibility of the adults to look after the kids. I agree with that.
There's so much to heal from our childhood... if I told you how many hours I've spent in therapy healing little versions of me. It was time well spent. And many more hours to come.
Thanks again for bravely sharing your story here.
This article is a joke. They absolutely realize they are getting bullied and are hurt more than others but don't know what to do about it so they just suffer through it. This article is dangerous and misleading.
Did you listen to the whole video? She pretty accurately summarizes what it's like to be an autistic girl in particular. Girls are viciously subtle bullies for the most part, and yes some of us can tell it's bullying specifically, but some of us just understand that the Peer Group has rejected us and think it's our fault. This was my experience for years because the school adults told me I was overreacting and my bullies were "just joking."
@@mchobbit2951 Just because her experience and my experience are common doesn't mean yours isn't, or isn't valid. There's no one monolithic autistic experience. The way girls tend to bully is *often* more subtle but not always, just as I and some others *often* were confused by it, but not *always*. Regardless of whether we immediately knew it or not, what happened to both of us was intensely, completely wrong and we were failed by the systems and people who were supposedly put there to help us.
I don't see how this dangerous or misleading as mirrors my experiences quite well.
Hey , I have send you the email you haven't replied yet ?
Replied.