Why Women Have Male Friends | Sadia Khan
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 ต.ค. 2023
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What men heard her say...
"I want a bunch of backup relationships"
@elliemonniemonkey branching is a thing. 😅
@elliemonnie omg from one to another before you let the last one go. Emotional cheating is a thing
@elliemonnie Monkey branching is a metaphor. Trees protect monkeys from predators and allow them to eat. Men are the trees, once a monkey has harvested all the resources (fruit/nuts) of a tree it looks for a taller stronger tree with more resources to jump to. Most monkeys will jump to another tree while holding the branch of the previous tree, they only let go of the previous tree when they are certain the new better tree will support them. Monkey branching....
@elliemonniethat is still unfair towards men. It's like fishing but never wanting to pull the fish out while having numerous rods in the water plus the bait is always shit
Yessssssssss
all shes really saying is a lot of women are terrible friends for both men and women
Bingo.
It also says a lot that women consider the relationships they have with men who have a crush on them "friendships" - if your idea of friendship includes the other person worshipping the ground you walk on, doing everything you want and never ever complaining because he hopes that some day he might win you over that way (which of course you don't intend to happen ever), you aren't a good friend, you're parasite, a user and a narcissist.
@@n.l.4626 You simply have to observe life as I did, without a filter, as I went through it while grappling with a steroid addiction that suppressed my drive, lasting about five years. Some components, like nortesto, can deactivate your drive instead of enhancing it. During this time, I perceived the world without any restraints, and it became evident how women employed subtle behaviors to manipulate men, making relationships seem somewhat parasitic from an external perspective. This even led me to question the actions of my own parents. I distinctly remember advising my mother to be more self-reliant, rather than constantly depending on the financial and labor support of others and was literally 3 steps away from beating the crap at of some indiviudals, because the other gender really disgusted me.
@@n.l.4626 dont forget the reason why she said women dont make good friends for women.
Yes and they can rip off men for different types of favor
@@n.l.4626what she is really saying is women like to be the ones in power in relationships.
Having a female on female friends they have to actually mutually give back to the friendship.
Women that primarily have friends with men generally abuse the men in those relationships often times exploiting them by using intimacy/sex to bait them. Then when they are no longer useful they drop them.
This isn't just how females act towards their male friends but also their male partners.
When you're no longer useful to her you're DEAD to her.
There is evolutionary biases for this and there are theories around it, but never the less it is one of the most cruel forms of emotional manipulation.
NEVER trust a women who cannot have female friends and especially never trust one who only has male friends.
That is a seriously messed up women.
Summary: men actually have real friendships
Good summary
Male friendships are based pretty much on interest, once that's gone we have no friends. That's why the male loneliness epidemic is a thing, many men not only do not have a female partner, we do not have one friend that we can call when we have issues.
@@rejectwokeness1314 I disagree, I guess you don't have real friends.. sorry bruh
@@duanemcintosh8908 Maybe, I live in a competitive big city, friends and even family will sell each other out for interest or simply just ego. But what I said about male loneliness epidemic holds true, it's a broad based study, not my observation
So do women ,she don't speak for all women.
"Having a friend that secretly loves us"
Evacuate
So they actually do know that we like them but pretend they don't.
Yeah but that secretly love us is more of a platonic thing in their head hence what she is saying about female friends so if they have a guy friend then they have a female friend at the same time the female friend can have some thing and not care about you so if you go to a the guy friend who'll have that filter that filters that shit out.
@@trip_t2122no not really, friend zone would exist if this the case. women dont want to fuck their friends like that. the men would be getting some in the us now. if that was the case but it isn't.
@@trip_t2122Yup, attention is their life force.
@@trip_t2122yes. You're the second or third best choice in case the first guy falls out
What she means is:
Men talk shit to each other and don't mean it.
Women compliment each other and don't mean it. 💯
As a guy, all I say I mean
The others liking it it's a different thing
😂😂😂😂
That is the sweetest description of hypergamy i have ever heard...i am gonna tell my girl that i am only going to hang out with women that secretly love me to avoid the toxic males that hate me...that shit is genius 😂😂😂
tell us how that goes 😂
Beautiful logic reversal
One suggestion.....when you tell her.....make sure you're in a public place with LOTS of people around. Preferably get a couple of male friends (read that witnesses) to video it (read that evidence) to be there when you do this. Also, make sure she doesn't order a hot drink and get all of your stuff out of her place before you do this. I would also suggest that if you gave her a key to your place get it back prior...you can tell her you need to change the locks for what ever reason you can come up with. Lastly, don't drive your vehicle there, go with a friend. But hey, you do you......and good luck, I have a feeling you're going to need it.
Oh, one more thing.....two words...."bail money"....just sayin.....
@tidefanyankee2428 what for? Let her stay in a couple days to think about what she did
I can 100% understand what she’s saying. However as a woman if you know a man is romantically interested in you and you know that you have no romantic interest in him yet you keep him around for the reason she describes you are 100% pure evil.
wow man not cool to call 100% of women pure evil 😂
some will say "I know women that don't do this" yeah ok have you full access to 100% of their text / SM history? open your eyes
@@pinewood6340he didn't say and / or her didn't say that women were 100 % pure evil he / she said a specific woman is pure evil, tf.
Or... if you're a man... stop hating your female friends who won't sleep with you.
@sandralangstaff3719 is that really something you're seeing?
She just said it, “I’d rather have a male friend who secretly loves me…” enough said. That’s why men are protective, and don’t want our female partner hanging out with these dipshit guys that are in her “friend zone”.
💯
Same goes with men. It's easier to make female friends who you can go grab a coffee and socialize with. Of course if you only enjoy socializing with your male friends then you do you.
The last chick I was with could not understand why I wouldn't get more serious with her. She had multiple male friends that were also exes....and a male roommate that was an ex....in the man's world we call that a bad investment 😂😂
💯
😮that's wild some women are bold and clueless at the same damn time 😂 good on you dodging that
@@michaelgomez8945I'd wager she wasn't clueless. She either wanted to continue the stream of external validation and/or didn't want to see those guys move on from her.
exes cant be friends
I don’t even think I could mess around with a disaster like that lol
Petty is the word she is looking for
😂😂😂
I think you
😂😂😂👍
Two-faced, intellectually dishonest, deceitful, and treacherous came to my mind.
@@mon_avis2978 I'd agree with thos eas well
My wife is my best friend and my only true female friend. I am friendly to women and talk with them. But there is a line I absolutely will not cross. I do not text other women. I don't call them on the phone. I don't put myself in situations where I am alone with women. Not because I don't think I can resist temptation, but because it feels like the most respectable way to treat my spouse, especially when she isn't around.
Respect to you Sir.
If only females have these kind of mindsets, it's hard to believe they rlly love you and is actually being real with you coz they either believe their own delusions or they just dk how to be in a relationship
Does she reciprocate in kind?
@@Jugulator31 absolutely.
Respect man. This is how it should be. People will say you're wrong. But you've nailed it bro
This woman has done a great job convincing me that steering clear of women is a very good idea.
Makes two of us.
Gay
@@polyseed12 that's your assumption.
@@polyseed12 no, just not a masochist
Red pill incel take
Men,if you love yourself,dont take this advice.
Even more so if you don't love yourself because you'll believe you can convert your love into an honourable friendship. Definitely ignore this advice.
Men don't listen to women so there is no danger of anyone seeing this as advice
👌
I'm confuse, what advice? Did she give any advice? I kinda zone out when women speak, so I musta missed it.
Yours sounded like an advice. You advice me not to take the advice about taking advice.
what
@@durereshe didn’t give any advice. She’s explaining why we see the social phenomena that we see among male and female friendships and women who want to be friends with men. Women would often rather have a male friend who definitely likes them and might love them, than a female friend who might not actually like them at all. Of course they would. She’s just pointing out that this is because men and women have different kinds of friendships.
She just totally, unintentionally revealed the typical intention of infidelity running rampant in women of today. 😂
Bang on buddy. My thoughts exactly.
She also unironically said that women are worse than children and are mentally on the level of a child. She claimed that women stick together even when they hate each other and are willing to pretend to be friends, even though they don't wish anything good for the other person. This sounds, at the very least, narcissistic, and to call it toxic would be an understatement; it's more accurately described as downright psychopathic.
@sad_wrangler8515 the amount of women including my own sister that bitch about their own 'friends' is crazy.
Exactly
@@sad_wrangler8515
How is that anything like children’s friendships?! You musta had a fucked up childhood dawg
If he secretly loves you he is not your friend. And your willingness to engage in that fake relationship is worrying. Men are correct to feel uncomfortable or even completely against their girlfriends/wife’s having male friends.
I have a female friend, and another guy has a crush on her, and she knows it, she gets favours from him like getting her assignments done. I asked her that if she doesn't have a problem? She said no I get my work done, pro for me. Then what's worrying if a girl has a guy friend she knows loves her?
because it is by definition not friendship. And if she is in a long term relationship it is disrespectful toward her partner. @@ishansahay5726
LOL. Cannot be me. Imagine being SO INSECURE. 😂
@@ishansahay5726
Then you have a horrible and exploitative female friend.
Women in a relationship who also have male friends are keeping security reserves and esteem validations through those other men.
Whether they aware of it or not. It’s subconscious and instinctive. A non-disclosed social prenup.
Also, sometimes those guys give her money
They know. It would be naive to think that they can't see and feel the benefits. It's presented as subconscious action, but women know when a man likes them and he hits her up all the time in hope of getting in.
😂 Babe, don’t worry about him, we’ve just friends 😂
And if they did "accidently" have sex.. "it was only sex"
🤱
haha.... it you place boundaries in check no worries
I ran into this situation for the first time in my life. Soon after setting boundaries she broke up with me.
I take it as a win.
Though my ego would still have me punch the guy in the face.
@@m.lermapaula4582I did put boundaries and it didnt work, what's next ma'am
So women are toxic? That was my take away at least.
Yep they are it’s in most religious scriptures that’s why they are mostly secular and go to religion when it only benefits them.
@@marcusr3795 interesting take
Yep
This new to you? 🤣
@@DTreatz everyone has a toxic element about them. I'm just seeing what other people's take on this
She is on the right track, the difference is a woman of value in a committed relationship doesn't want a bunch of guys who are in love with her around. Not only because of the issues in her relationship but because if she is a woman of value she would care about those men and want them to move on to other people who can fulfill their desire for a relationship in a way that she can't. So women can have male friends and men can have female friends and longs as they are good at making, communicating, and respecting other boundaries.
If you’re a person reading this you are valuable in God’s eyes beyond measure.
Why did this make me cry? I’m literally an atheist. I’ve had a rough few days and randomly seeing this just broke me and made me feel okay at the same time.
Thanks for a sweet message ❤🙏
Allah is the one and only God , Islam is the truth.
Thank you :')
Literally everything she said was about how a male friend can benefit her in some way without her having to give anything to him in return for the friendship
She said “good conversation” 😂😂😂
It's about friendship, so is the woman being a good friend not enough?
@@dll7658 women aren’t good friends. that’s the point. If women only benefit from a “friendship” then it’s not really a friendship. Men are expected to protect/defend their female friend and a lot of times women KNOW their male “friend” actually likes them but women play dumb so they can get free stuff, free attention, free validation, etc. Men don’t get anything out of being a woman’s friend other than added responsibility 😂 most of us will pass on that
@@dll7658 she's being a user not a friend
The only women I have ever asked to help me with something important has been my mother. 😂
If women aren’t good friends to each other then why would men want to be a woman’s friend if we’re getting nothing out of it? 😂😂
Good point 🤔
You gotta ask the men who're in the women's orbit. They're usually secretly hoping her relationship ends and he gets a shot with her
I've had this happen. I was still friends with one of my exes and eventually I realized that she would talk to me whenever she wasn't getting what she wanted from the relationship that she was in when she had moved on, knowing that I was wanting her back. She reached out again about a year or two ago and I kept the conversation very short.
To translate the womanese: men provide more utility as friends than women and even though he may love the woman and she feels nothing in return, she will continue to use him for his utility for example, time, attention, potential resources and possibly other physical skills that work to a woman's benefit.
as a female I say you are fluent in womanese 😂 And the reason we give is I'm not forcing him to do anything for me I just asked, he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. And I never even hinted that I like him that way so it's not my fault if he still wants to be friends, again I'm not forcing him to stay.
This may be anecdotal, but every woman i have ever known that has referred to a man as her "best friend" was either actively banging him or eventually ended up in a relationship with him.
Or gay
That's your experience.
What about male friends who are not "best friends"? I'm asking because I am a female and I have male friends who I am neither banging nor I ever will be in a relationship with any of them.
That classified me as per your logic to a toxic person, because you have no other reasoning that a woman can have male friends, but only those two: "she is / will be either banging him or she is toxic"?
I don't get you guys - your world is soo flat - either black or white thinking.
And as per what Sadia says: she often claims her opinions about certain human groups and doesn't add anything like "Some" Or "at times" Or "in certain circumstances" Etc. Although I bet this is what she really means.
Otherwise she would not be allowed to work as a psychologist and she would lose her license 😂 A psychologist is required to look at people as individuals instead of pidgenholing them.
Fair, I married mine.
@@Ifailedeverything So you know only one woman?
@nalianalianalia what world do you live in? lol.. As long as you have the right political views.. just about anyone can become a psychologist or counselor these days.
This is just crap. How can she justify ‘friendship’ with a man if she knows he secret loves you. How is that dynamic unacceptable? It is not friendship. She just exposed alone the underlining true nature of women’s poor values and bullshit. If you have a male friend who you know secretly loves you, that is unfair on him and your current partner. That fact that this dynamic is fine to this women speaks volumes.
If all of what she just said is true, then who is the more genuine, fairer and less toxic sex?
Men.
You have to understand how men & women categorize "love" to see why woman relish the friendzone.
Men have one set of values in a women:
• (Looks + Personality - Male Attention + few Large Miscellaneous stuff).
Women on the other hand have TWO sets of values, Good Guy stuff and Bad Boy stuff:
• Good Guy stuff (Investment + Presentable - Female Attention + many Small Miscellaneous stuff)
• Bad Boy Stuff (Looks + Masculinity)
For both genders the higher your total score is the more it is based on Love. The lower it is the more it is based on Lust.
To summarize the two sets of values from women, Good Guy Stuff = how useful you are, Bad Guy Stuff = how exciting you are.
Men love one dimensionally and because men place much higher value on sex than women, they are confused and upset with the fact that women run to bad boys. They falsely conclude that women love bad boys (men who score high in the Bad Guy Stuff but none of the Good Guy Stuff) more often. They confuse this with the bad boy scoring high and think that the relationship is based in love because men themselves love ONE dimensionally. What men don't understand is that you have to have a good score in BOTH the Good & Bad Boy stuff for the relationship to based in love.
For women, the friendzone and the bad boy are two sides of the same coin. Bad boys are ideal short term relationships based on lust. Friendzones, (men who score high on Good Guy Stuff but none of the Bad Guy Stuff) are unideal long term relationships based on usefulness. And she truly doesn't want either of them, but she'll take what she can get.
So why are women more likely to form a traditional relationship with the bad boy guy and not friend zone guy? First, it's exciting, and secondly bad boys have qualities that are more foundational for ensuring her security (mentally and physically). They are short term because Bad boys possess damaging qualities as well.
BUT!
We are not talking about traditional relationships. We are talking about the categorization for the larger two dimensionally spectrum on which women can love. Friendzoners are very healing and uplifting, and are able to provide resources and emotional stability very quickly for a long time. The reality here is that *friendzone is a category on this spectrum of love*. It's why women get upset or even jealous after their friendzoner gets a woman of his own. Because even though he didn't cheat in the traditional sense, in some way he is no longer a source of love dedicated only to her.
Ultimately, she wants to get a close as she can to Prince Charming, the man who scores high in each set of values.
(Notice the Good Guy Stuff formula is similar to the Men's singular formula. Men tend to maximize only this formula and wonder why they are in the friendzone. 🙃)
However there is a silver lining. (Before proceeding, turn off your male brain here and think about relationships two dimensionally like women do). It is better to be in the friendzone than in the bad boy zone. Why? Two reasons.
• The developmental qualities of the friendzone is actually not too far from Prince Charming and it is easier to level up in Bad Guy Stuff while in the friendzone than it is to level up Good Guy Stuff while in the bad boy zone.
• Being a bad boy is totally subjective and depends on age, culture, personal history etc.
Let's combine these points.
Being in the friendzone, you have high presentability and therefore more likelihood to be brought up to other women she may be involved with. If you level up your Bad Guy Stuff score, you are more likely to be favored by these women who may have a lower bar to what constitutes a bad boy. Which means even if you are in the friendzone, to other women you may be closer to other categories such as Good relationships, situationships, or even Husband zone.
The reality for most men today is that, in the eyes of women, they are lacking in both Good Guy Stuff and Bad Guy Stuff (pretty much hovering near the bottom scores). If you find yourself in this position, you need to secure the Bad Guy Stuff first as you build your Good Guy Stuff. The Bad Guy Stuff is easier to build up fast, gets your foot in the door, and can lead to more favorable interactions that men value (ex. sex). And as you build your Good Guy Stuff you'll be able to stay in that door longer. Keep in mind once the traditional relationship has been established you need to maintain or build these qualities and don't let them drop.
@@dudejoe8390 So interesting💪💣💯🚀. Could you let me know where you got this information?
It's life she training him and using him. So men need to be friend with women but take what he can get meaning the woman who see his values of good man.
@@jonvicmamon2529 ‘It’s life’ is not an argument. What are you taking about. Men just have to accept shitty behaviour?
She is actually right about women keeping friends they hate I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve seen women tell everyone how much they hate a certain girl then that girl walks in and she treats her like she’s her best friend
Women like male friends because of a number of reasons that are difficult to embrace.
1) Women are mean to each other.
2) Men are naturally respectful to women
and protective of women.
3) Men are attracted to women.
4) Women secretly hope male friend becomes more than friend
@@sven888Wishful thinking much?
Not really; I already have more women in my life then I can handle. @@Level_Eleven
There is absolutely no upside for a man to have female friends.
There absolutely is if she’s cool.
I have female friends that I’m not attracted to. Some of them are colleges, some are from childhood, some through family friendships.
But of course we all know how it can end up if there is attraction.
My best friend is a female. I feel like this comment section is full of incels.
@@andreasleonhard1512is her boyfriend okay with that?
@@RSVPrr She is single right now, but her last boyfriend I actually met at the same time she met him. We both met him at a festival and some months later they became a couple. He was okay with it. Her boyfriend before that was not okay with it and it bothered him.
My girlfriend is also okay with my best friend being a woman. They do things together now as well. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I am from Denmark and here it is normal for men and women to be friends.
@@andreasleonhard1512 when her next boyfriend attacks you, don't complain o4 cry, take full responsibility. Whatever happens its on you.
Imagine thinking that men gravitate towards you because of the topics you can talk about lmaooo
😅
Men don't want brainless dolls.
@@Kayledon777no, but we don’t gravitate to a woman because she can talk about games/sports. It’s because we’re attracted to her physically. The other stuff is a bonus and factored into the longevity of the relationship
@@AshSchultzArt if everything else is a bonus, then you'd settle for a brain dead sex doll, no?
men aren’t only interested in games and sports 😂
The issue you run into is alot of those men that are your friend because they secretly love you will most likely feed you bs to try and break you up with your current boyfriend so they can get what they want. If your bf tells you a guy is bad news. It's probably a good idea to trust him.
if a girl eats bs I'd suggest the bf leave her for a smarter one
@mira_puzzles I don't agree with that because some people are naive. When someone should leave is if your significant other is warning you of their intentions and you don't heed the warning. Relationships are trust and communication.
@@OdensRaven of course talk to her first.
I’m a woman. I’ve had lots of female friends. She makes it sound like one small mistake and it’s game over for female friendships. I’ve only ever ended two friendships because they were actually crazy. One is no longer crazy and it’s like nothing ever happened. I don’t think women hate each other as much as most people think we do.
Also, I learned in my teens that girls cannot be just friends with a guy. It’s so uncomfortable. It would make me nervous every time a guy I knew did something nice for me. I didn’t like that feeling at all. It meant I could never return a favor without possibly leading him on.
The best thing about being a man is that you largely know where you stand with all of your mates - people who don’t like/respect you wont make an effort for you. This builds honest relationships and lowers anxiety. You also learn how to develop a thick skin with banter which helps you to lose insecurities, as your friends have enough respect for you to know you don’t need constant “pick me ups”, you can get through the tough times yourself.
Whilst women are taught to not only respect other people, but to care for them (even if they would not necessarily want to) what is often associated as "liking".
We are primed since the very beginning to care for other people.
So, it's coping mechanism to accommodate to our environment for both sexes - men and women.
@@nalianalianaliadamn. That makes so much sense.
@@nalianalianalia That's very insightful, but I don't think it's a social construct. The nurturing instinct in women is crucial to the survival of the species.
@@marklefevre3476 No matter it's a social construct or an instinct or stems from anything else, it simply means women are likely to stay in touch with people whom they not necessarily like.
Sometimes it's their pesky father / nosey mother in law or a scroodgey local pediatrician, other time their petty boss, toxic female friend or a meek male friend.
Women know not only any of them might become useful one day, but mostly if they would mess up, then their hatred would become dangerous one day.
It's not only looking for a potentiality to gain in future something good, but also avoiding potential risks.
That's why Sadia once again either said some BS, or her viewpoint has been manipulated and shortened soo much to twist her original meaning
@@nalianalianalia I think generalisations are dangerous - maybe on average women are taught that their role in society is to be a nurturing in preparation for their future as mothers but I’ve met my fair share of women who are cold, calculated and un-nurturing. Maybe they are taught to be that way, but they seem very happy to be that way so I wouldn’t say they are “acting against their nature”. Some women just aren’t meant to be mothers, but the majority are
Very well spoken and articulated, could definitely sway a lot of people.
But remember, she is justifying hypergamy; having backups in your pocket and loyal simps you don't expect to go away.
It's not just wrong, but it will be WAY worse when those guys eventually walk away realizing you are never going to reciprocate those feelings, your entire relationship is going to feel like a sham and a waste of time because THAT guy wanted a life partner while you:
A. Wanted a fallback turning that was never your first choice (ow)
B. Wanted a friend
When men realize this, they aren't going to argue with you. They will just disappear from your life.
It isn't that we can't understand how you can have them we are mature enough to understand that you shouldn't because each and every one of those male friends that are hanging around you all want to sleep with you if they haven't made a move yet they feel like they can't or afraid of rejection but if you put it on the table bet they won't turn it down!
A simple test every women should do. Phone a few of your straight single guy friends and ask them "what do you think of the idea of dating me". They won't do it because it would reveal the truth. Women keep straight guys who are potentially interested in them as friends for emotional support and favours most of the time
This is very true. It's highly immoral on the part if of the concerned women and highly stupid on the part of her guy friends.
It’s called being used and on call. Screw that
if a woman would to that just for entertainment , this would implify that she is not your friend at all...
@@kcried1081Men aren't being used. They know what the score is. If the girl broke off the friendship, no big deal. They're just hoping for that longshot hook up, not a lifelong friend.
Edit: Unless it's an ugly girl. Men will keep them around forever, just in case they need help moving.
@@anthonyfrombelowwhy would a man keep an ugly girl around in case he is moving? Is she gonna help lift the freezer and pack the truck? 😂
I used to think men and women could be friends. That was before I ended up with my best friend 😂 I’m glad I was wrong
Yes. You can have very many reasons why you want to have male friends. Your man has one very specific reason he doesn’t want you to have them.
Ask them
Insecurity leads to having multiple backup plans. Others might call that smart, some might call it selfish. But it's a survival tactic for sure.
So true, managed business, was always surprised when my female employees proffered to work with mostly males. One female explained: " If I need help, a guy will sit with me and show me how to do something I don't know. Women are competitors, they won't "
Some women would actually sabotage you, too
@@dll7658jeez cutthroat shit would never occur to me even if I didn’t like the guy the worst I’ll do is not help him 😂
If there is an attraction then there is the possibility of inappropriate behavior then it all starts
And? That's really not relevant at all if the people in question have self control and standards
@@ironman4life89 yeah just finding that is very hard but I wouldn’t be with someone who would want that. A woman with a bunch of male orbiters is just a train crash waiting to happen. I get the thing about self control. I have complete self control but I’ve had several exes that we’re just liars. I’ll only be with a person that wants me to be around especially with other males around. Forget that
@@ironman4life89 everyone loses self control from time to time that's just called being human. even the will of good strong people falters sometimes.
@@ironman4life89but 95% of guys worldwide don't have that discipline, we are just incapable of that. Believe me a lot of us would like to see you just the way you see us but we would lie if we say it's easy and we just need willpower. Sexual attraction is so deeply rooted especially in us men so I understand from a woman's perspective you can't understand why it's not as easy for men as it is for women but let me tell you from a guys perspective there is little we can do... I'm speaking from personal experience. :/
@@Strangeman96Ok
"You as a girl can be just friends to a guy but.. it means you're ugly". - Matt Rife
This is such a good take on the issue. It’s why I always tell my wife not to have other guy friends, and she always says I’m being silly.
99% of the time the male friend secretly wants to sleep with you. So no men are less naive than you are.
Women are just acting naive; they are not...
Men and women can have long-lasting functional friendships. But only if there are strict boundaries.
That means no flirtation, sex, or overly affectionate talk.
If you cross the sexual line and/or someone catches feelings, the friendship is ruined.
Yeh, may be 10% of people won't cross those boundaries. If you look at extra marital affairs, 90% of them were just friends.
Thus topic was just on our local radio station. Nearly everyone said there cannot be a male/female friendship. I’m happy to see this lady explain it the way she did. Makes perfect sense but I’m not sure I would have arrived at this conclusion. Thanks 🙏
I've had plenty of female friends. I understand what it's like to have friends that you are not in to even though you know that they are in to you. It is annoying and can ruin the friendship if they are too insistent. Because of being good looking and having charisma, women think that my playfulness is flirting. I just like to have fun and then end up in situations where both women I was hanging out with would tell me privately that the other was giving evils. If you are desirable to the opposite sex then there will be some issues that get thrust upon you that you don't want. Also, if I sense desperation or someone being too into me I will find in off putting. All that being said, a friendship can be an awesome start to a relationship if you laugh at the same things and have some common interests.
Anyway, I just thought I'd give the male view as someone not in the creep territory.
Idk why this is always such an issue for people. I’m a dude and I absolutely have female friends that I would never in my life sleep with. They’re just cool trustworthy people, and those qualities are all I need in a friend. Genital shape is irrelevant
The differences go way deeper than just what genitals you have lol
I never understood it either. For me I realized I have just such high standards that I literally just don't want to sleep with 99.9% of women, so they're just like dudes to me. Though plenty of women have seen me as a potential mate that I've friendzoned, but as a man, it's really easy for me to set the context and boundaries - I also openly address it if it's present and make it completely clear that I'm not and never will be available to them in an intimate way - no room for confusion or false hope what-so-ever.
@@zachariah380 100% I am happily married. 99% of humans were sexually unattractive to me. I can definitely appreciate good looking people but it is not the same as being sexually attracted and wanting to spend boyfriend-girlfriend time with them.
@@zachariah380I believe you but it only proves the theory that you can only be an honest friend to a woman if you don't find them attractive. By attractive I mean you would sleep with them. So guys can't be only friends with women they find sexually attractive, that's nature and DNA and no western high moral idiot wins against these kinds of laws because it's embodied in us 😅
@@Strangeman96 true. That's all true.
Women have an innate need to have friends and community because back in caveman or tribal times she relied upon the community for survival where as a man could go rogue, hunt on his own, build himself a shelter, a fire for warmth etc...
I am a woman gone rogue😱😱Sheesh, guess times are changing🫡
@@Ultralinedwomen gone rogue
"MENTALLY".....😂😂
Men need community too, love. We're all social animals. Just because you have the skills and perseverance to survive on your own doesn't mean that you have to or that it's good for you, and just because someone doesn't live on their own doesn't mean they can't learn how to. I know I don't know you and I really don't want to make you feel condescended to, but I hope you aren't living without community. However well you're doing for yourself, you deserve the option to fall back on someone. Whatever your life looks like, I hope you feel loved.
@@OldLadyMapleSeed Nah it's different for men, it's in out DNA to never be a burden to women or the community. We must be strong and when we fall we have to pick ourselves up because we know our survival is on us. But I get what you're saying about community, it is good but if all else fails we are okay and can manage on our just fine.
True, but that was also a time when there weren't hoards of other men around to fill the gap, because they were off hunting and doing dangerous stuff. Also, there were plenty of other women around her for a accountability and if there was a male, it was probably some other matriarchs young buck; thus, the prices were higher and much more consequential with much less likelihood of getting away with the infidelity. So this was not an issue like it is today. But to your point, it's also for this same reason you mentioned that most women are born instinctively bi......chill ladies, I said most.
And yet, most women feel threatened if a man has strong bonds of friendship with other men, love their pets, love their children, and have a few close female friends. Run from this type of woman.
Nothing is valuable unless you are able to convince others it is
I'll always be of the opinion that intersex friendships depend on maturity. I can definitely be *just* friends with women and just like I am with my fellow men, if you're personality, character, and morals are shit; then I'll stay away from you but also be respectful and cordial if I have no choice.
Regarding intersex friendships with *HEALTHY* relationships; it's that individual's responsibility to set that boundary that nothing will happen between you. I've had women who were okay with that and I've had women who "ghosted" me because I didn't reciprocate their feelings. Additionally, it's that person's partner's responsibility to trust that nothing is happening.
It's usually when both parties are single (or were at some point) where men start orbiting women.
When men give lots of emotional support ("invest" into the woman) they tend to fall in love with her. It's a natural process. Been there - it wasn't pretty. I don't recommend it.
Very true. But maturity is not a concept you can talk about in social media. Basically because it's complex and there are no easy "if this, then that " formulas. Unfortunately social media, with it's crowd wisdom, is inherently immature and simplistic.
Yeah it looks to me that most of these things people are talking about so bitterly are largely about immaturity, which seems to be the base level of social media. Just like people's IQ drastically decreases in crowds, so does their maturity in a "social" crowd (which can artificially be created with social media)
@@bbeaupI call cap on that. You can't avoid accidentally falling in love with someone. That you would never fuck them, sure.
One of the few sane comments on this short
I find this immoral, if you really were his friend then it is your responsibility to advise him on what is best for him which is to move on and find someone for him. But if you warned him that you see him only as a friend and there will never be a relationship, then I see no problem with this friendship.
Few if any women are going to do what you suggest. Your suggestion is honorable and is exactly what a woman should do, rather than leading a man on constantly and usually using him in some way in his hope that she will change her mind. The truth is, she LOVES being desired whether she reciprocates or not (usually not). But she gets to keep him on the hook and toy with him for the benefit of her ego. Guys who will put up with this usually spend money on her, or do chores for her, again in the hope that she will change her mind and see his value. But, she's already making full use of his "value" in her eyes and she doesn't have to invest much, other than a smile, some conversation now and then and some light flirting.
If you want to succeed in life ask a man if you want to destroy someone's life ask a woman! Is what I've got from this content!
But what if he doesn't confess? Wouldn't it be a bit too much to reject him right then and there?
@@tidefanyankee2428that’s the recipe for false reality for woman, but hey, males suffer to make it happen thinking it’s gunna be worth it or that it’s an act of service, you know they lie to you too just to get you to validate their bullshit, but if you’re both good with being angry later one will care
@@dll7658men won't confess just like women never do, but if you know that as a women well, just straight tell him that you don't want to be with him and everything mentioned above
TRANSLATION: "We are so selfish, we will use you as a friend, knowing you have feelings for us."
Most women think the dudes are actually their friends, same way they think they're actually always right
Yes, and in the same note, a man only hangs out with you with the hope of sleeping with you, otherwise you wouldn't see him.
Preach.
Let's put it this way, how many male friends were calling your mother or wife or aunt or grandma before social media? Zero
Quite a few actually. The neighbors, the uncles, the grandparents, family friends, etc etc. Before social media it was more clear, now you have a person who can be in touch with someone else far more easily without anyone else even knowing they are in touch.
So don't bring in history as some kind of example, it's a bad one. People lived in more tighter communities, which required more interactions.
Hell if you lived in the countryside, it was even more important.
The thing is. You can have male friends but Male friends can't be friends with you.
Girl, maybe trust your instincts and choose your female friends better. A good female friend is a sister forever.
And don’t friend zone men who you know are into you. That’s just cruel.
She’s wrong about guys separating. Snakes and guys with passive aggressive issues hang around all the time, just like women. Many guys act like females. If you’ve ever been backstabbed you’ll know what i mean
She said usually, which means it is the average the ones you're talking about are exeptions
I agree with you and with the above comment and I'd like to further add that passive aggressive type guys also stay with women who use them. These guys get vengeful when women don't reciprocate their feelings even after years of extracting their resources and services. I once read a statistics that of all sexual crimes that happen with women 95% are committed by men they knew and trusted.
Bad karma will always have consequences.
As a woman i can't relate to what she's saying. I have male and female friends, no secret love or hate, no competition. Just plain old friendships. Those other things don't sound like something I have the time and energy for.
Thank you. I have a lot of very good deep female friendships and we wouldn’t stop being friends bc of a birthday
Exactly. But women won't to that test because they know what would happen. @@Elovebaseball
Same. I've had almost exclusively male friends all my life since I get along much better with men. That was only an issue for a guy once. Everybody else was fine, and since I'm a lesbian I've made it 100% clear from the start so everybody was on the same page. Still didn't stop these guys from being friends with me. But apparently, if you listen to some people in the comments, it is impossible for people to be friends with the opposite gender with no other intentions. Really weird takes, not gonna lie.
She does my head in. Women want male friends for VALIDATION and because the majority of the time they know the friend fancies them. Imagine marrying a woman with this mindset 😅
I’m 37 and female, I’ve worked in male dominate fields my whole life, no one I dated ever cared that most of my friends were men because they come from similar backgrounds. The man I’m with now hates it so I’m more distant with my friends and more rude to men to help prevent him getting insecure, I don’t go places where I can make female friends, I’m super picky because what this woman said is 100% true, you can think you’ve got a great friend and find out she’s been talking shit for years. Most ‘girls nights out’ end up with multiple girls sleeping around, I won’t be around that type of person. And men should prefer their gf or spouse have three good guy friends over 5 female friends that will encourage her to leave him, that’s how women are, there are good ones but they are still friends with the kids they grew up with, making friends later in life is very hard
This is wrong, if you have guy friends that find you attractive they aren't your friends. If you texted any of those guys to come fuck home many would show up with a bottle of wine and packet of condoms
Actually, men totally get and understand why women would want to have male friends. The only problem is we don't like it. We may even find it unacceptable if taken too far within the context of what was understood to be a committed relationship.
It'd be like if we earned enough income to support a single family but split our financial support among multiple women, most of whom were "just friends". You might understand why we'd want to do it but it's definitely not something that you would expect/tolerate in a committed partner.
Though he might prefer it to losing out completely, even the guy who's relegated to the friendzone will feel frustrated (unless he's already being satisfied by a few other women).
I see, I think that makes me understand things better from a male point of view
@@forgottenfuryan Lol I don't, not that much.
Unfortunately Sadia is missing a key component. Most women shouldn’t have male friends because it most likely will put them in a compromising situation and jeopardise the relationship between you and your partner. This is why men of value like Ryan Reynolds, Messi and Keanu Reeves and their partners never out themselves in a position that can screw up their love life.
I refuse to believe any of my female friends could ever compromise themselves with me.
@@JohnSmith-wx9wjthat could be down to how attractive you are to your female friends instead of it being a good moral choice by them,you must have met guys who pretend to be friends with a girl just because they are attracted to them physically.That’s the issue with this idea,if your a girl and you are aware a man only has 1 goal with you and you keep him around knowing that then your partner is not going to be happy fundamentally,sure men and women can be friends but if your friend wants to get intimate there not really your friend.
@@LD-bj4xc Well, I like to think my friends are good people. 😆 But I know they're not attracted to me.
Mmm I don't keep friends around that are jealous or threatened by me. I have friends, both female and male that are authentic and we respect one another. I don't relate to this.
Women play the odds and men have to work the odds.... and....to men everybody has a high value.....to women its only valuable if its 'mine"
Lol this is why I don't listen to her. She encouraging females to have male friends. Having a friend that secretly loves you is the problem. If she doesn't understand the threat that poses to the stability of the relationship, she doesn't understand men.
I kind of took this as more of an explanation than an endorsement. If your options are having a male friend who loves you (but it's never made obvious to you), or a female friend who hates you (and that's also never made obvious), the choice is pretty clear. That doesn't make it right, but that's the mindset.
@heirlooms01 I get you. She seems to imply that it's ok for women to have male friends and this is why. Male friends provide something she can't get from female friends (in summary). I've listened to some of her other content and I gotta say she is a good speaker but her advice leans towards feminism.
The problem is that women may think they are just friends with the man, but the man is always ready to become more than friends. It opens the door to infidelity. Personally I don't have any female friends, I have my partner and that's all I need lol
Yes. @@madmedic7840
My rule of thumb is anything you say or do should be able to stand up on it’s own, if it were to come out.
This is the response you get when you ask “what do you mean, JUST a friend?”
True! Male friendships are SO much easier to maintain and everything is taken at face value.
@@madmedic7840 How so? Maybe you’ve had a different experience than I have.
Women are petty and deceitful whereas men just move on if they aren’t really interested in the friendship. When things go wrong with a male friendship, they work it out in the same day. When it’s with women they hold a grudge for decades. Lets just be blunt folks!
A friend that secretly loves us is code for backup choice
Part of maturing in female friendships is recognizing that life isn't competition. They have their own lives and so do you. Competition kills friendship but understanding and empathy brings people together.
This is a very broad generalization that I have to disagree with it. Almost degrading for women. I do not think this way as a female. I have friends, male or female, young or old, incredibly athletic to disabled, gay or straight. Genuine friends who support each other and their interests. My best friend is a male. We connected through trauma during our military service. He’s happily in a relationship with a partner now who understands and accepts me as a friend who cares for her partner as a brother, and same in my side with my partner. She also has guy friends in the same manner. I’m not overly dramatic or emotional to act like some high school girl and play favourites with women or men as my friends. Nor do I keep toxic people in my life like that.
This piece really makes it sound like all women have only this use for men. I’m here to say there’s definitely women out there who have male friends because they are just that… good person, a good friend. Gender just an aspect of the fact. And mind you, I have better conversations about beauty stuff with my gay male friends. They know so much!
The jig is up but keep lying
Same here. It's honestly amusing to see how many people in the comments are of the opinion that one can't possibly be friends with the opposite gender because apparently we are all just 100% hormonally driven animals who want to bang everybody who's in line of sight and remotely attractive. I think that way of thinking says more about them and their views on people than they realise.
She's literally just saying things, I've never felt this way about my friends before
What she said is all in general and that doesn't make it less valid. What is so problematic about what she said?
@filipjohansson4293 In this context speaking in sweeping generalizations as if it's fact comes across as superficial. I typically don't have an issue with her statements, but they're usually very vague "common sense" that just sounds like it should be right. Because of her lack of clear reasoning or references to any sources besides just "men" or "women", I don't find her takes to be especially perceptive, persuasive, or worthy of being considered modern wisdom. That being said this clip is out of context, so I'm basing this off of this clip and her other popular shorts. Her points would have been better if she started with "I found that" or "In my experience".
@@joyces1365 So your biggest issue is the linguistics of it all. Correct?
When we speak in generality, we usually skip fraces like "in my experience", Because we're already assumed that this is based on the person's experience.
What she is saying also adds up with the male experience of being friends with a woman who you have intimate feelings for, feelings that is not reciprocated back.
I don't understand why you women have a hard time. Accepting generalization on the dynamics of relations of men and women.
Her generalization is a logical explanation to why men and women differ in their opinion on intersex platonic relationship.
Your experience might not be that what she is saying, but that doesn't make her generalization less true.
Literallaaay
no girlie, I'm sorry life had treated you so bad with female friendships but i can assure 100% good female friendships are PURE GOLD
I'm a woman who used to have many male friends in school & college.
I never think I'm pretty at all, but I'm confident enough in my personality & characters, that's why I drew some friendships in, males & females. The thing is, I usually realized whenever my male friends had secret feelings for me. Idk if it's so common in us women, or is it me just being a narcisst (when I never even fancy my own appearance)? I only could confirm it when they withdrew at some point, as if they knew they couldn't get any further (in relationship) with me. One of them actually admitted it, through my best-friend. I asked her why he seemed distanced himself from me, and she said he liked me, but knowing that I had a big crush on someone else, so he got away. I'd say to her, at that time, what a coward of him, since I actually did like him & could picture if I ever have someone like him in my life. How could I think of that when I already had a crush? Well, a crush is just a crush, my best friend just had the quality I never imagined that I need it in my life, so yeah. Then why didn't I go for him? Bcz at the time I was still focus on college & didn't urgently need any relationship, it's fine, right? But the fact that he didn't go forward to ask me disappointed me, simply bcz he thought of me by himself, that's it. Now, I don't really regret anything...
My points are,
I do understand the points Sadia made, as a woman. But I also understand the concern of most men in this topic, since I do realize that man usually get closer to a woman bcz he's attracted to her, has romantic feeling for her. At the same time, I still want to have male friends (bff or not) as they have qualities that female friends don't. Plus, am I wrong to want a "big bro" since I don't have a real one (I have it all complete: big sis, lil sis, & lil bro)? It's okay to have them, right, as long as I keep my distance & be clear with our standing, convince this to my lover?
The one thing feminism completely look past, especially in the era of social media, is that women are highly competitive with each other in terms of status and mate selection. Women judge other women more harder than men. No matter how much we have equality for men and women, women don't judge each other equally.
I'm sure you'd want a friend that secretly loves you but I fucking don't
But if you can, can I get one too? 🤣
The key part of this is: “we tend to believe…” there’s often a difference between the truth and your beliefs
The constant need for validation is never ending.
We live in a world gone mad. A man & woman should be able to be friends. Good looking. Ugly. Whatever. We are not animals.
100%
We are biologically wired to procreate. When it comes down to it. You don't think with your big head but with your small head.
So basically it’s out of selfishness considering she knows he’ll likely fall for the female at some point if she’s his type.
There is usually a conflict of interest when people of different value gravitate toward eachother
It is disingenuous and manipulative to keep man around you knowing he likes or loves you claiming you are friends. 9 times out of 10 these women reciprocate nothing of equivalent value back to the man, not mentally or emotionally and absolutely not physically.
They are more than happy to extract utility from that man and to use him as their emotional and mental dumping ground.
Platonic friendships between men and women are almost impossible because women whether they realize it or not consciously or subconsciously will always take more than what they give.
I think she is overlooking how wonderful it is to have friends from both sexes. I have many male friends gay and straight married and unmarried. They are just my friends. Period …….
Phone a few of your straight single guy friends and ask them "what do you think of the idea of dating me" you won't do it because it would reveal the truth. Women keep straight guys who are potentially interested in them as friends for emotional support and favours most of the time
@@stephenboud1711facts.
@@stephenboud1711 Guess I'm the exception then. I'm a lesbian and I've almost exclusively been friends with guys all my life since I get along much better with men. I've always made it clear from the start I'm a lesbian so no one gets any false hopes, and surprise surprise, it wasn't a problem. Out of all my friendships with guys, only one has ever had an issue with it. Not everyone is automatically attracted to others just because they could technically be available, some people just want a friend to hang out with. And I don't know about other women, but the idea of a male friend of mine secretly looking at me 'that way' gives me the creeps.
In other words male friendships are genuine and female friendships are opportunistic and political
That’s exactly it. My best friends are exactly people who I felt threatened by. That’s the true reason. You don’t avoid it you must embrace it. When 2 real men meet for the first time their first thought is “can I take this guy on” as we are shaking hands.
In romantic relationship is completely otherwise.
If a woman grows to hate her man, she'll leave.
If a man secretly hates his woman, he'll stay while waiting for "a better option". He is very comfortable with having someone with who he can have sex and of course she cooks and cleans.
Women live with their men in one house, but they don't have to live with their female frenemies.
Therefore men can't truly LOVE their partners. But they still can be friends with other men.
Nah. I am a woman and if I don't like someone i stay away from them
Cos ur actually level headed thats why. I dont understand why women fake friendships. Us guys we want peace and thats why we severe our ties if it goes south. Ive done it before and i wont hesitate to do it again if i should. Nor am i trying to be friends with a woman that i might ‘love’ like this woman on video is saying because it’s always unrequited and she will know, but never let it progress, and will only entertain the idea to the guy and fuck with his mind. Maybe for some guys they get lucky and the woman falls for them but from experience and observations, it rarely is the case tbh
best thing to do
i am friendly woman but if i feel they have a feelings to me ,i stay away from them,just be friendly or friend but not close and bestfriend for ur safe and for them not to fall in love with u
translation: would rather have a male "friend that secretly loves us than a female friend that secretly hates us..." and men to not feel threatened to the same extent that women do with friendships of the opposite sex.
She is very clever and well articulated.
The issue is he isn't your friend. He wants to have sex with you and another man you interact with romantically knows that.
That is totally untrue. She is twisted reality.
You’d have to ask in person
The problem is most men do not look for platonic relationships with women. He wants sex and its disingenuous to keep the friendship. The drama occurs when he wants more.
YES thank you
Fascinating how she speaks on behalf of all women. I’m sure that is much appreciated.
So shes saying shes got simps disguised as friends knowing full well shes going to use them for whatever they are worth. The best thing as an alpha or sigma can do is tell her the truth and cut to the quick. Thats the only way to level out the field. User alert.