Spends his whole life gaming and he never acquires skills from the previous. Every new game he looks like hes someone who has never played a video game before. Its amazing.
I was like. Why??? Why did you do that? There was literally no explanation as to why he walked forward off a cliff. It didn't even look accidental at all.
DSP as a parent: "My kid got run over by a car? It's not my fault! How was I supposed to know I should take care of my kid. The kid's AI is stupid! NOTHING I could do."
Whenever I'm doing bad at a game and feel like I'm the worst gamer ever, I come watch this video and instantly feel better about myself. Thanks, Phil. You're doing God's work by setting the bar so low that anyone can step over it.
+tander4100 There's one vlog where Phil talks about a college class he took that he was failing because his professor "was a bad teacher that didn't explain anything". He goes on to say that the only reason everyone else could pass easily is because they had headstarts.
"If I'm gonna' be honest, I'm probably one of the *best gamers* in the country!" Oh my god, he actually said it. I thought it was a joke amongst the community, I didnt think he *actually said it*.
BurncoatRapscallion He sorta had this when he played street fighter and Tekken. Because he's using an arcade controller you can hear him mashing buttons. So it makes him look like a fat fucking liar when he says he was blocking and you can hear him spastically mash every button.
54:40 "I know how to use magic,I know how to do proper combat,alright, now we're getting somewhere,I'm liking this." *immediately falls off the cliff and dies* My God, that had me laughing on the floor for ages. Seriously Phil,how the hell didn't you realize that you were about to fall off and die?
it's funny how close DSP was to being a very successful modern youtuber, but his ego ruined it. if he could have just embraced the fact that he's a lolcow and not taken himself seriously, he could have made an absolute killing. he could have been a counter-troll, but his fragile inflated ego wouldn't allow it.
You can't be conciously aware of how terrible you are and be a lolcow. Just as movies that try to be awful on purpose in order to be funny can never come close to something as honestly and hillariously bad as The Room, no conciously bad gamer could ever reach the level of being just awful that DSP is. Nobody would be watching him.
My older sister who never played any game in her life (except sims that one time) asked me once if I had Dark Souls. And of course I did. But the point is, she simply heard of how popular it was and even if she didn't know the layout of any type of controller, she still wanted to try playing the game. Without any assistance! She managed to beat the Asylum Demon after FOUR attempts. Getting better by the minute once she learned the mapping of the controller. A few hours later, she died a lot of times, made a lot of progress and even crossed swords with invaders while having a good time. Her opinion of the game? Fun and exciting. Even for someone who has never played video games before. P.S. And she enjoyed playing Demon's Souls too.
There’s like no point to comparing Phil to any living creature, animals even learn from their mistakes, only a bug could be as dumb as him, and I suppose that’s why they call him PigRoach, with the looks of a pig and the intelligence and character of a roach.
"What? How can I lose health just from landing?!" Right. As opposed to real life where, if you fall from really high up, everything will be just fine & fuckin' dandy. Oh yeah, that's right...that's not what happens.
It's surprising how novel of a concept Fall Damage is in the realm of games, especially those in 3d that are either action/adventure or platformers. (And yes, this is Sarcasm)
If you watch DSP streams and pretend you're watching a robot specifically programmed to be bad at games/always spew word vomit blaming everything for his bad performance, it becomes an incredible experience. DSP is a work of art. DSP can never change. He belongs in a museum. He's that annoying kid you knew in grade school who talked a big game but could never deliver on it, except he never grew up and now we're lucky enough to be able to watch him whenever we want. What a gift to the world.
I don't know what's worse about the part where he kills Oscar, the fact that he killed Oscar, or the fact that he's gloating about killing him, like he was a really hard boss fight.
I hate how much the south drags down the national average. If they would have actually managed to become the confederate states we wouldn’t have to share the stars for teenage pregnancy, obesity, and low intelgence.
d tczyk And you can't even spell 'intelligence' and YOU want to insult a whole demographic's intellect when you are ironically among them in said intellect? What a joke.
The foreshadowing at 2:35, when you see the guy start to get up, then he’s off camera for a few seconds... then he pops back up to throw DSP from the motorcycle.. it’s just excellent.
From his voice and the way he acts, I genuinely thought he was about fifteen. I find him extremely distressing to listen to and it's only been made worse to realise that he is actually an adult.
I think DSP might actually be a sane man trapped inside a disabled body. Maybe he keeps trying to do the proper commands, press the right buttons, but his body just spazzes out everytime he gives it an instruction and he fails in whatever he is trying to do. This man needs help everyone :c
are you implying that phils body is lets say the controller and the controller is broken? the commands his brain gives to his body to do an action is bugged? that would make a lot of sense
All this. DESPITE ALL THESE ATROCITIES, he's still streaming, playing video games and blaming on everything but about himself. He must've been blessed, and cursed.
+Pyry Saarinen Understand my friend that the character which he plays, whatever the game, is AGAINST him; for example: IF he manages somehow to do something, he'll be like "yes, I did it", although when he fails, (99% of the time though) he'll be more "I didn't press that button, HE did it ! / I jumped HE refused to grab!" etc. TL;DR: Phil is the character when it "works", and not when he fails. 4 years old. Aside from the poop fascination. And the laughter.
Fun fact:when I played games at like 7,8,9,10, I used the "controls don't work". Especially on dark souls cuz I had no idea what I was doing and didn't bother converting it's controller instructions to keyboard. The difference is that I was 10. *TEN*
Willing to suggest that he never really played fighting games on a competitive level. He had a street fighter tourney with 5 kids in a bedroom and button mashed to 4th place.
@@Malaikat31 Regrettably, he's telling the truth. Look up Evo 2005 Street Fighter II Turbo - Dave placed 4th in there, after getting cremated by Tokido, who was playing as Vega.
I love how every single game DSP plays is somehow bugged, when actually he himself is bugged as a person and will never learn from his mistakes for as long as he lives. What a character
"Approach him and grab him" - What do i do??? "Approach him and grab him" - I don't know what to do! "Approach him and grab him" - I cant figure out what to do! "Approach him and grab him"
The DarksydePhil Drinking Game: Take a sip whenever he: - Says "Wow!" or "Oh my God!" - Declares his intention to quit the game. - Blames the controls for his mistakes. Take two sips whenever he: - Says "I'm dead!" or gives a loud "HUH!?" - Insults the game's creators. - Says something sexist or makes a sex joke. Down your shot whenever he: - Belches. - Insults his own fans.
take half a sip whenever he makes any ethnic insult, a full sip could kill any man with an iron liver in half an hour, especially during metal gear solid
the best part is how he seems to genuinely believe that almost every Trippe A game enjoyed by billions and if anything polished to a fault, has a terrible unresponsive control scheme that only he seems to notice
Undertale proved that with him just killing toriel with no remorce. even him talking about her 'Cow Undders' ....he doesn't see a game as a journey..he just sees it as a game.
“Alright so I figured out how to use the spell.” Me: Now you’re gettin it Phil! “So now that I have a talisman in my off-hand I’ll press R1.” Me: God dammit Phil!
I guess in his previous life he was steering the Titanic: "OH JESUS! THIS IS RIDICOULOS! THAT FUCKING GIANT PIECE OF ICE JUST SPAWNED IN FRONT OF ME OUT OF NOWHERE! WHAT COULD I DO? I PRESSED EVERY FUCKING BUTTON! FUCKING KOJIMA PIECE OF FUCK!".
DSP is the human equivalent of that meme of the guy on the bicycle who sticks an object inbetween the spokes of his tires, falls off and blames someone else for it.
Is he Tommy Wiseau's kid? "I did not touched it, it's BS!!",he even does the laugh, "hahahaha, what a story Mark" like some kind of iconic way to say "I have no idea what I'm doing."
what is with konami and pachinko? from what I have seen which admitedly isn't much but it just seems like plinko or whatever that game from price is right is called mixed with a slot machine. two lucked based games back to back.
DSP finely demonstrates the definition of insanity. During the fight with the Metal gears, any normal person would have realized: "Oh shooting them repeatedly in the head doesn't seem to do anything. Maybe I'll try to shoot these other targeted parts." Not DSP. He keeps doing the same thing, then complains how the game is fucking stooopid when it doesn't work.
Its not about insanity. Phil just doesnt fucking think outside of the box. He has a tunnel vision, where he keeps doing things in one, and for him, right only way. Its not about doing the same thing over and over, its about doing ONE thing all the time, without realising that there are different options. Yes, any normal human being would have shot the Rays in the legs and look what happened. But i guess, DSP only played this game anyways cuz his fanboys wanted it, plus his short attention span and stupidness added up. Another Highlight was where Olga, AND Snake told him not to wear the Shell Uniform Outside of Shell 1, and the People outside are armed with an AN94, and literally 10 seconds after it IN FUCKING ALERT MODE he thinks it works, and of course after failure, blaming the game for being ''buggy''. Its like someone tells you not to crash your car, and 10 secs after DSP is crashing with 200mp/h into a wall, saying ''This is stupid, my car shouldnt break!''
Because shooting an enemy in the head for maximum damage is a basic video game rule in a lot of shooters and anything that goes beyond the basics will give a small mind like DSP trouble. Once the headshot doesn't work looking for another way to hurt the enemy requires critical thinking and problem solving skills which are abilities that Phil struggles with in a big way.
He’s not insane though, he’s just painfully dumb. Big difference. Also doing something over and over is not the definition of insanity. It’s a movie quote.
@@krusher181 Movie quote? No it's an Einstein quote. But here the definitions, the psychiatric definition is no longer in use, the legal definition doesn't apply here, and the third and final definition in totally applicable to what behavior he is displaying. He is being extremely unreasonable and lacking foresight. 1 dated : a severely disordered state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder 2 law : unsoundness of mind or lack of the ability to understand that prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or that releases one from criminal or civil responsibility 3 a: extreme folly or unreasonableness b: something utterly foolish or unreasonable
@@DovahKanye yeah I’m just dispelling the myth that repetition and insanity are linked. Thanks for the info tho, very good TH-cam comment. To me, there’s no simple definition of insanity, it’s more a blanket term. Reason I called it a movie quote is because... that’s how most people know of it. I know it’s a throw away Einstein quote
"Tell me what to do" And this is why gaming sucks now. No one tries intuitive things or tries to make sense of their own actions. Everything must be spoon-fed.
+JGrayzz Like it or not, THIS is what game devs listen to in order to maximize profits by becoming accessible by as many target audiences as possible. This is why stuff like Angry Birds and Candy Crush become so popular and why so many game devs are reaching for the lowest common denominator.
You must have a cast-iron stomach to sit through DSP's videos in order to make a compilation. I couldn't do it. He's so skin-peelingly cringey and gross I can't even look at him without equating him to an uncooked lump of dough. So I thank you for your service.
Sir Osis of Thuliver he isn't playing a character, if he did, he would realize that the character he's playing is one of the main reasons he's getting hate, ergo he would've to abandon playing as said character, but since he clearly hasn't done that, the only believable explanation for his display of beyond awful gaming skills is he really is just unfathomably awful at games. TL;DR: he isn't playing a character, he really is just dogshit at videogames, stop coming up with excuses as to why he is like this in his videos and just except reality.
How to use rations: 1. Put your hands on each side of your head 2. Twist until you regain health 3. If you begin to feel discomfort, it means you're about to regain health - keep twisting!
I just can't believe how if he forgets the controls for something he just blames the game instead of literally just checking the controls to remind himself.
I've been going down the DSP rabbit hole for a few days now after watching DasBoSchitt's "TH-cam Ave" series and discovering that Phil in the videos was actually, accurately, meant to represent a real person. Almost every new thing I have found out about this thing has somehow managed to irritate me even more than the last. So far I've noticed a few recurring traits. >Inability or refusal to learn >Inability to self reflect >Inability to also see outside of himself >Refuses to even attempt to develop any of these basic human brain functions >Near constant failure to exercise even the most basic of higher cognitive and motor functions >Cannot understand patterns, or chooses to ignore them (This video has dozens of examples of this, reading a tutorial prompt only to somehow not understand how to perform that action less than 10 minutes later) >NO higher reasoning capabilities (Please refer to the video where he ranted about his condo for 15 minutes during an unboxing video, while a fire alarm blared in the background, and the box was never touched. He even mentions at the start "you may notice a loud, annoying, ear splitting alarm in the background" yet still decides that time is the best time to record a video, and then uploaded it) Phil is an NPC, 1000%. He literally is not sentient or aware, I refuse to believe a cognizant creature with a "soul" is capable of being this fucking terrible in literally every possible aspect. Berating him for being the way he is would be like berating a dog for barking at it's shadow, he literally is INCAPABLE of understanding what he is doing wrong, nor does he realize that it is indeed wrong. You can see it looking into his eyes, try any image of him where he's looking into the camera, there's nothing behind his eyes, nothing going on in his head at any given moment, The lights are on, nobody is home.
The mildly serious attempt to answer: He was one of the very first LPers, so he got in on a huge booming thing right on the ground floor, and rose as it did. And in recent years, uh. We won't have to worry about him having any fanbase at all, soon enough. It's already a fraction of what it was. And reviewing himself, improving, or changing is not DSP's strength.
Having never played a Darksouls game before, much less played on many other consoles aside from Nintendo, I still feel like I would be able to pick up its controls easier that DSP can.
I've been trying to beat Jak 2 for years, still nothing. But at least I didn't go straight into a pit and then yell "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" during the tutorial level.
I've been watching DSP hate videos all day not knowing about this guy to begin with. A few of them mentioned how bad he was at games, and I never understood just how bad he was until now. Is it actually possible to be this bad? My girlfriend, who has pretty much never played a game in her life, and has started playing one of the hardest genres of games, platformers, is better. I watched her play through Shovel Knight's first tutorial level having never picked up a 3ds in twenty minutes and beat it. She has never played any other game before, and now looking at this guy who has played games before I would feel embarrassed watching him.
this comment is old but I'll answer it anyway, the reason why he had an audience back then was because he was the first TH-camr to do full uncut play throughs of video games on TH-cam, granted, that title didn't last long but he was early enough to get a rooted fan base
@@TheKnuckmin he wasn't the first but he used to be the most consistent with his uploads. If a new game came out, he would have a playthrough uploaded within the day.
I love how no matter what happens, dsp removes his blame. It's always lag or some unresponsive controls or some never happened to anyone else ever before 1/10000000 glitch. He's the type of person that dies in league and says "my flash didn't go off!"
Does Phil even enjoy games? He makes even the most basic tasks an ordeal, how can you enjoy playing this way? You do not need to be good at games to enjoy them, but i struggle to see how you can enjoy them if you don't at least have half a clue. I have never seen him play a game and not bitch and moan and struggle against basic mechanics.
No he doesn't enjoy them despite him saying "Games are for fun." He only plays them for money and tries to quickly rush through them so he can get paid and move on to the next one.
@@Xehanort10 ^^^ exactly.. it's so God damn obvious he doesn't actually enjoy playing video games.. but, he's a fat ass slob that would rather be known as the most toxic, incompetent gamer on earth than actually have to get off gud couch, leave his house, and go to a job where her may have to stand for a little while..
Best compilation to date, shoutout to all the individual TIHYDP videos and thier respective makers. The little montage of him only knowing what to do if "It's explained to him" or he wont know what to do was priceless. Then, after being explained.. "I can then 'master' the controls" YEA RIGHT! lmao
That moment in dark souls when he finally figures out how to cast a spell and gets all confident and then immediately falls off the cliff would've been comedy gold had he done it on purpose
I can't believe he bitched about the medallions in RE4. You know, Phil, some people don't want to spend hours on a scavenger hunt. It's unbelievable because I know even he would complain about that if they didn't give him the locations. He seriously complains one way and then complains another. What's the best way to describe someone like that?
+Soomoo poo (Soomoopoo) There is a blatant complaint being made about his noise .. lmao, in one of the more modern Spiderman games.. enjoy! Can't remember name, sorry. The TIHYDP video in fact!
Never heard of this man until today, and after watching him die 10 times in Jak & Daxter, and on the tutorial level none the less, I think Dean Takahashi just gained faith in his ability to play games.
'Beginner's trap'- not knowing what's going to happen is what makes a game or a movie or any other kind of entertainment exciting. 'How was I sposed to know 500 guys were gonna appear?!' You weren't, and that's the fun of it. Being surprised and having to deal with different situations on the fly is what makes for a good game and good gameplay. I hope that DSP goes under the game industry's radar, because if they decide to take him as an average instance of their audience the medium is fucked.
I'd like to see a game with a DSP difficulty level. It guides you step by step, auto equips any items, auto locks on and attacks enemies and prevents you from making any mistakes.
Am i the only one who didn't get even slightly mad at the Troy Baker "jokes"? I mean, sure, they weren't funny, but i really don't care for Troy Baker either. let the man have an opini- oh who am i kidding, it's Phil. Roast the bastard.
I’m always baffled when I play a new game and how long things like tutorials are or how I’m your face they are and I always think “man is anyone really this thoughtless playing a game”… apparently yes
![[Mr Caption] No Todds, No Masters critique Fallout 4 (reupload)](/img/n.gif)
Phil failing a test in school:
Fucking pencil doesn't do what I did.
I never wrote that!
This test is fucking rigged.
BUGGED WRITING MECHANICS.
SamusLovesMilk I think he's just doing that for views. He seems so normal before he plays his game.
he'll find some way to blame hideo kojima
Bugged pencil mechanics.
AK! AK! AK! AK! AK!
*SNOOOOOORRT*
People like DSP are the reason we have 40 minute long obnoxious forced unskippable tutorials in todays games
its so true it hurts
Not that it really does anything for guys like DSP, he’ll forget everything he just went through in 2 minutes
well obviously they don't work then
**skips tutorial** “guys, how do you open the door? This game is so broken, I’m pressing every button. This game sucks.”
@@PsychoXV There are still plenty of unforgiving / challenging games out there, though.
Spends his whole life gaming and he never acquires skills from the previous. Every new game he looks like hes someone who has never played a video game before. Its amazing.
Dat Boi A rock would have a better time playing games than him.
he is either a very self-aware genius capable of creating the DSP character, or he is simply that clueless and spontaneously inept.
Most ten year olds would school dsp these days.
@@diegogatjens1728 I can't imagine pretending to be a fat loser pig for a character
Phil must really have struggled with those toy shape sorting boxes as a child.
They were bugged, dood. There was nothing he could do!
As a child? Try as an adult.
@@wcclark how's that his fualt as the child
And called it a hacked game design
he would complain that there is no tutorial lmao
LOL! "Now we're getting somewhere, I'm liking this."
walks off cliff and dies immediately.
I fucking lost it XD
Long silence ................. Son of a bitch!
That just killed me
Phil seemed so genuinely proud of himself too, LOL
I was like. Why??? Why did you do that? There was literally no explanation as to why he walked forward off a cliff. It didn't even look accidental at all.
コンピューティング A E S T H E T I C Yeah, it does seem like it was on purpose. It's that blatantly dumb.
Phil does a mile run test:
"Dude, what the fuck, my stamina goes down so quick!"
"Legs are bugged!"
"This is bullshit!"
newLEGACY boy Gah the connection for this track is terrible! *snort*
Decides to try 100m hurdles
"What the fuck! I can't double jump!"
No, the gravel he ran on was all fucked up. And I hate to say it but the traction on his shoes was clunky, def not his fault.
"WHAT THE FUCK!? WHO PUT THAT ROCK THERE? HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW TO WATCH WHERE I STEP? Sprained fucking ankle. Fuck this game!"
Mr. Burnell, you have cancer.
DAMN BUGGED BODY PHYSICS
DSP as a parent: "My kid got run over by a car? It's not my fault! How was I supposed to know I should take care of my kid. The kid's AI is stupid! NOTHING I could do."
Bugged father mechanics
PlatformerKid unless there was foul play, but yeah
Savage
I told him to stay and he didn't! The fuck?!
"Fuck Kojima, Kojima is such an asshole. Kojima always has to put poor A.I."
Whenever I'm doing bad at a game and feel like I'm the worst gamer ever, I come watch this video and instantly feel better about myself. Thanks, Phil. You're doing God's work by setting the bar so low that anyone can step over it.
SpitefulCrow He's an ironic ray of hope for us
He would never figure out how to set a bar.
No your still shit
This is exactly what I was about to post
Cringe.
I imagine Phil getting a bad grade in school and being like "Your teaching mechanics are bugged! COME OOOOOOON!"
This should be comment of the fuckin year lmao!
+tander4100 There's one vlog where Phil talks about a college class he took that he was failing because his professor "was a bad teacher that didn't explain anything". He goes on to say that the only reason everyone else could pass easily is because they had headstarts.
*you're
Futurefighter49 "You are teaching mechanics are bugged?" Learn English before you try to correct someone speaking it
+Futurefighter49 this fucking idiot
"If I'm gonna' be honest, I'm probably one of the *best gamers* in the country!"
Oh my god, he actually said it.
I thought it was a joke amongst the community, I didnt think he *actually said it*.
Instead of a face-cam, I would love a controller cam for DSP. Just so we can see how he's totally pressing the button when he says he does.
BurncoatRapscallion He sorta had this when he played street fighter and Tekken. Because he's using an arcade controller you can hear him mashing buttons. So it makes him look like a fat fucking liar when he says he was blocking and you can hear him spastically mash every button.
The Church Of Scientology it droped his input!
It would be his end lol!
You're supposed to press...which...on what..?
He could hook up software which would display his button presses in real time.
Simple flips does it IIRC
"It says lather rinse repeat! Ive been in the shower for 7 hours! When am i clean? This shampoo is bugged!"
DSP is the reason why there are even instructions on a shampoo bottle. LOL
Slowbeef? That you?
54:40 "I know how to use magic,I know how to do proper combat,alright, now we're getting somewhere,I'm liking this."
*immediately falls off the cliff and dies*
My God, that had me laughing on the floor for ages. Seriously Phil,how the hell didn't you realize that you were about to fall off and die?
+Futuretime23 lmao the best part out of his dark souls TIHYDP
it's a very close tie between that moment,and the part where he couldn't figure out how the jump and kick controls worked.
I'll tell you why. It's because Phil's An idiot.
it's funny how close DSP was to being a very successful modern youtuber, but his ego ruined it. if he could have just embraced the fact that he's a lolcow and not taken himself seriously, he could have made an absolute killing. he could have been a counter-troll, but his fragile inflated ego wouldn't allow it.
PoundMeToo He's too dumb to think that deep.
You can't be conciously aware of how terrible you are and be a lolcow. Just as movies that try to be awful on purpose in order to be funny can never come close to something as honestly and hillariously bad as The Room, no conciously bad gamer could ever reach the level of being just awful that DSP is. Nobody would be watching him.
People watch him to laugh at how stupid he is. No one would watch him if he was self aware.
Being the "best street fighter 2 turbo player" went to his head 😭
Very true wings of redemption is the same he could make a killing if he embraces the troll culture.
I envy his lack of talent, a single game can last him hundreds of hours till he gets to the end of the story
My older sister who never played any game in her life (except sims that one time) asked me once if I had Dark Souls. And of course I did. But the point is, she simply heard of how popular it was and even if she didn't know the layout of any type of controller, she still wanted to try playing the game. Without any assistance! She managed to beat the Asylum Demon after FOUR attempts. Getting better by the minute once she learned the mapping of the controller. A few hours later, she died a lot of times, made a lot of progress and even crossed swords with invaders while having a good time. Her opinion of the game? Fun and exciting. Even for someone who has never played video games before.
P.S. And she enjoyed playing Demon's Souls too.
There’s like no point to comparing Phil to any living creature, animals even learn from their mistakes, only a bug could be as dumb as him, and I suppose that’s why they call him PigRoach, with the looks of a pig and the intelligence and character of a roach.
Your sister is a normal person ...... DSP on the other hand ....... I don't even know what the fuck he is ?
ุ ุ Not necessarily true. Roaches are actually very good at hiding. Lol
Lol, my 11 year old brother managed to get fairly far in Dark Souls 1 completely on his own, and I never heard any complaints about controls from him.
@@kingbump6829 your brother sounds great
DSP at 50 :
-"so wifey let's have sex"
-"no"
-"fine then, looks like I can't have sex, whatever"
"So stoopid dood"
***** "come OOONNN man"
bugged marriage mechanics
Bugged female mechanics
Bugged relationship goals.
DSP... The kind of guy that would lose playing Big Rigs...
YOU ARE LOSER!
He got the treasured "YOURE LOSER!" screen.
He'd lose at desert bus
@@tommyjohnson1066 he'd win at desrt bus becauseof simple controls
everyone loses by simply playing that lol
"What? How can I lose health just from landing?!"
Right. As opposed to real life where, if you fall from really high up, everything will be just fine & fuckin' dandy. Oh yeah, that's right...that's not what happens.
Though DSP should just try and see if it really does damage you in real life. For... For science...
It's surprising how novel of a concept Fall Damage is in the realm of games, especially those in 3d that are either action/adventure or platformers.
(And yes, this is Sarcasm)
Holy shit, he's really that kid who said every game has bad controls and his controller doesn't work right grown up.
And he plays fighting games most the time. How the fuck can someone who plays fighting games not understand controls.
If you watch DSP streams and pretend you're watching a robot specifically
programmed to be bad at games/always spew word vomit blaming everything
for his bad performance, it becomes an incredible experience. DSP is a
work of art. DSP can never change. He belongs in a museum. He's that
annoying kid you knew in grade school who talked a big game but could
never deliver on it, except he never grew up and now we're lucky enough
to be able to watch him whenever we want. What a gift to the world.
THRILLHO th at speech reminded me of what I think do all Donald Trump
THRILLHO go have a look at lowtiergod, always a good laugh.
MetalSonicGamerX200 Donald trump delivers on his words though, said he'd become president and he did.
Joke Of The Day They should collab sometime and make masterpieces or create WW3
everyone had a phil growing up
I don't know what's worse about the part where he kills Oscar, the fact that he killed Oscar, or the fact that he's gloating about killing him, like he was a really hard boss fight.
DSP is the personification of the most negative stereotypes about Americans.
kuunami the average american is still worst than him fuck this shithole trailer park of a countrh
I hate how much the south drags down the national average. If they would have actually managed to become the confederate states we wouldn’t have to share the stars for teenage pregnancy, obesity, and low intelgence.
d tczyk And you can't even spell 'intelligence' and YOU want to insult a whole demographic's intellect when you are ironically among them in said intellect? What a joke.
He is literally the worst possible incarnation of Americanism
@@magusperde365 lmaoo jealous
The foreshadowing at 2:35, when you see the guy start to get up, then he’s off camera for a few seconds... then he pops back up to throw DSP from the motorcycle.. it’s just excellent.
From his voice and the way he acts, I genuinely thought he was about fifteen. I find him extremely distressing to listen to and it's only been made worse to realise that he is actually an adult.
Kite most young adults act like this.
MetalSonicGamerX200 He is in his 30's
MetalSonicGamerX200 Phil is in his 30s. Yet he acts like a teenager and has gout
Same. This guy went to Neverland and never left it. He is like the personification of the Perter Pan syndrome.
@@Herozonex200 no most 30+ year old men do not infact act anything like this
Only DSP could be proud of killing a crippled dieing man
Probably because that'd be the only type of man he could fight or kill in real life too.
Dieing
@@ChodeMaster dieing
I think DSP might actually be a sane man trapped inside a disabled body.
Maybe he keeps trying to do the proper commands, press the right buttons, but his body just spazzes out everytime he gives it an instruction and he fails in whatever he is trying to do.
This man needs help everyone :c
if he was sane he'd notice his body malfunctioning.
If he was insane his perception would be clouded from noticing his mistakes.
You have your answer.
are you implying that phils body is lets say the controller and the controller is broken? the commands his brain gives to his body to do an action is bugged? that would make a lot of sense
And I’m just here like “How did he ever have a girlfriend?”.
Money..
PR1z0N zEX Probably pity.
@Karad Jans I don't think that, no. Not sure how you would come to that idea.
Money.
He groomed her
He literally struggles with children's games. smh fam.
All this. DESPITE ALL THESE ATROCITIES, he's still streaming, playing video games and blaming on everything but about himself.
He must've been blessed, and cursed.
I like the way he often speaks in third person about the character that hes controlling...
+Pyry Saarinen Understand my friend that the character which he plays, whatever the game, is AGAINST him; for example: IF he manages somehow to do something, he'll be like "yes, I did it", although when he fails, (99% of the time though) he'll be more "I didn't press that button, HE did it ! / I jumped HE refused to grab!" etc.
TL;DR: Phil is the character when it "works", and not when he fails. 4 years old. Aside from the poop fascination. And the laughter.
Fun fact:when I played games at like 7,8,9,10, I used the "controls don't work". Especially on dark souls cuz I had no idea what I was doing and didn't bother converting it's controller instructions to keyboard.
The difference is that I was 10.
*TEN*
He doesn't know what Left stick+R1 means, but he played fighting games on a somewhat competitive level? What.
Willing to suggest that he never really played fighting games on a competitive level. He had a street fighter tourney with 5 kids in a bedroom and button mashed to 4th place.
FFKonoko Wrong.
Father Gascoigne Nice try phil
@@Malaikat31 Regrettably, he's telling the truth. Look up Evo 2005 Street Fighter II Turbo - Dave placed 4th in there, after getting cremated by Tokido, who was playing as Vega.
@@HESHRocketWarhead Mind you, more context is needed. It was the PS1 port that was played, leading to the top US players boycotting the tournament.
I love how every single game DSP plays is somehow bugged, when actually he himself is bugged as a person and will never learn from his mistakes for as long as he lives. What a character
"Approach him and grab him"
- What do i do???
"Approach him and grab him"
- I don't know what to do!
"Approach him and grab him"
- I cant figure out what to do!
"Approach him and grab him"
The DarksydePhil Drinking Game:
Take a sip whenever he:
- Says "Wow!" or "Oh my God!"
- Declares his intention to quit the game.
- Blames the controls for his mistakes.
Take two sips whenever he:
- Says "I'm dead!" or gives a loud "HUH!?"
- Insults the game's creators.
- Says something sexist or makes a sex joke.
Down your shot whenever he:
- Belches.
- Insults his own fans.
You want to pay my hospital bills?
Instructions unclear, woke up in the Wild West and helping Arthur Morgan look for Lenny
I would say you forgot "IT DROPPED MY INPUT!" But that would kill any participant.
or "I DON'T GET IT!!"
take half a sip whenever he makes any ethnic insult, a full sip could kill any man with an iron liver in half an hour, especially during metal gear solid
"Alright, now we're gettin somewhere, I'm liking this."
[slowly walks off cliff]
the best part is how he seems to genuinely believe that almost every Trippe A game enjoyed by billions and if anything polished to a fault, has a terrible unresponsive control scheme that only he seems to notice
If it isn't as braindead as cod then it's bad
Yeah when he said Middle Earth: Shadow of War was a bad game I almost ran my head through a wall.
"I'm probably one of the best gamers in the country" I puked in my mouth a little bit when he said that
+Nickolas Marchuk where did he say that lol! thats funny as hell
I can't remember where in the video but he's clean shaven and it looks like an older clip
+Sonny Thomas
34:34
Itspietertime
ty! lol this guy is fun to watch
“He gave me a flask and I killed his ass 😏”
I feel like... phil is some sort of metaphor for humanity’s apathy towards its own kind or something
He definitely is. Look at how he treats the people that give him money.
Undertale proved that with him just killing toriel with no remorce. even him talking about her 'Cow Undders' ....he doesn't see a game as a journey..he just sees it as a game.
How did he place 4th in a Street Fighter tourney when he can't even double jump in Jak and Daxter?
bugged jumping mechanics dood
it was a lowball in the middle of nowhere one
Very few participants and he played the most broken character in the game.
I think that nobody came to the tournament and he played against 4 people
+Pokernik 😂
“Alright so I figured out how to use the spell.”
Me: Now you’re gettin it Phil!
“So now that I have a talisman in my off-hand I’ll press R1.”
Me: God dammit Phil!
I guess in his previous life he was steering the Titanic:
"OH JESUS! THIS IS RIDICOULOS! THAT FUCKING GIANT PIECE OF ICE JUST SPAWNED IN FRONT OF ME OUT OF NOWHERE! WHAT COULD I DO? I PRESSED EVERY FUCKING BUTTON! FUCKING KOJIMA PIECE OF FUCK!".
😂😂
As a big fan of RE4 each scene with this game in this video brings me closer to suicide
Igneeka Go play RE4 instead. You'll feel better
As an MGS2 SOL fan i agree with you.
As someone who's played all the mainline mgs games this video hurts me as well
As Dark Souls fan i almost killed myself when i saw his gameplay
Yep, I adore RE4 and this stuff hurts... And I STILL have to complete The Mercenaries at S rank for the Hand Cannon
You could say Phil's actions in MGS2 were... Irrational.
Callum Morgan ayy lmao
Sheeiit
Best comment so far
ReelO a
Kek
DSP is the human equivalent of that meme of the guy on the bicycle who sticks an object inbetween the spokes of his tires, falls off and blames someone else for it.
Is he Tommy Wiseau's kid? "I did not touched it, it's BS!!",he even does the laugh, "hahahaha, what a story Mark" like some kind of iconic way to say "I have no idea what I'm doing."
I'd buy Metal Gear Kojima sons of Kojima any day of the week
Even if Konami Published it on the Pachinko?
what is with konami and pachinko? from what I have seen which admitedly isn't much but it just seems like plinko or whatever that game from price is right is called mixed with a slot machine. two lucked based games back to back.
Luiz Gustavo Murales the lady mgs title should have been sons of kojima
Luiz Gustavo Murales Virgima
Kojima should copyright the title
DSP finely demonstrates the definition of insanity. During the fight with the Metal gears, any normal person would have realized: "Oh shooting them repeatedly in the head doesn't seem to do anything. Maybe I'll try to shoot these other targeted parts." Not DSP. He keeps doing the same thing, then complains how the game is fucking stooopid when it doesn't work.
Its not about insanity. Phil just doesnt fucking think outside of the box.
He has a tunnel vision, where he keeps doing things in one, and for him, right only way.
Its not about doing the same thing over and over, its about doing ONE thing all the time, without realising that there are different options.
Yes, any normal human being would have shot the Rays in the legs and look what happened. But i guess, DSP only played this game anyways cuz his fanboys wanted it, plus his short attention span and stupidness added up.
Another Highlight was where Olga, AND Snake told him not to wear the Shell Uniform Outside of Shell 1, and the People outside are armed with an AN94, and literally 10 seconds after it IN FUCKING ALERT MODE he thinks it works, and of course after failure, blaming the game for being ''buggy''.
Its like someone tells you not to crash your car, and 10 secs after DSP is crashing with 200mp/h into a wall, saying ''This is stupid, my car shouldnt break!''
Because shooting an enemy in the head for maximum damage is a basic video game rule in a lot of shooters and anything that goes beyond the basics will give a small mind like DSP trouble. Once the headshot doesn't work looking for another way to hurt the enemy requires critical thinking and problem solving skills which are abilities that Phil struggles with in a big way.
He’s not insane though, he’s just painfully dumb. Big difference. Also doing something over and over is not the definition of insanity. It’s a movie quote.
@@krusher181 Movie quote? No it's an Einstein quote. But here the definitions, the psychiatric definition is no longer in use, the legal definition doesn't apply here, and the third and final definition in totally applicable to what behavior he is displaying. He is being extremely unreasonable and lacking foresight.
1 dated : a severely disordered state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder
2 law : unsoundness of mind or lack of the ability to understand that prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or that releases one from criminal or civil responsibility
3 a: extreme folly or unreasonableness
b: something utterly foolish or unreasonable
@@DovahKanye yeah I’m just dispelling the myth that repetition and insanity are linked. Thanks for the info tho, very good TH-cam comment. To me, there’s no simple definition of insanity, it’s more a blanket term. Reason I called it a movie quote is because... that’s how most people know of it. I know it’s a throw away Einstein quote
"Because I'm an honest person." That might be the pinnacle of his self-delusional lies.
"Tell me what to do"
And this is why gaming sucks now. No one tries intuitive things or tries to make sense of their own actions. Everything must be spoon-fed.
+draconic33 I think a big mistake you are making is using DSP as a measuring stick for people who play games.
+JGrayzz
Like it or not, THIS is what game devs listen to in order to maximize profits by becoming accessible by as many target audiences as possible.
This is why stuff like Angry Birds and Candy Crush become so popular and why so many game devs are reaching for the lowest common denominator.
+draconic33 Oh please don't use DPS as an example.He COMPLAINED when re4 showed him where the medalions are on the map
Not really... The best games aren't out there holding your hand for the entirety
Not really... The best games aren't out there holding your hand for the entirety
54:37 "Ahhh-haa. Now we're getting somewhere." Phil then immediately walks off a cliff.
Perfect analogy for DSPGaming.
You must have a cast-iron stomach to sit through DSP's videos in order to make a compilation. I couldn't do it. He's so skin-peelingly cringey and gross I can't even look at him without equating him to an uncooked lump of dough. So I thank you for your service.
Holy shit, I did not expect to see you here! Love your videos, bitch.
Gines Fuck that was eloquant.
Phil is truly one of the few people I can say have hit the hitler-level of radical stupidity in life.
Sir Osis of Thuliver No he isn't. lol
Sir Osis of Thuliver he isn't playing a character, if he did, he would realize that the character he's playing is one of the main reasons he's getting hate, ergo he would've to abandon playing as said character, but since he clearly hasn't done that, the only believable explanation for his display of beyond awful gaming skills is he really is just unfathomably awful at games.
TL;DR: he isn't playing a character, he really is just dogshit at videogames, stop coming up with excuses as to why he is like this in his videos and just except reality.
It’s amazing how he always thinks he finds a game breaking bug in every single game.
How to use rations: 1. Put your hands on each side of your head 2. Twist until you regain health 3. If you begin to feel discomfort, it means you're about to regain health - keep twisting!
Or just go in SCP-173's containment chamber and close eyes
DSPs dream game would have a button prompt show up for literally everything at all times.
He’d still manage to f*ck it up
His GTA vice city walkthrough went for 400+ parts probably all 30 min episodes
Vice City Stories
Four... hundred?
Gee I wonder what he could be doing for 30 minutes
This is the man that quit FUCKING LEGO STAR WARS people.
this is like if keemstar had a gaming channel
I just can't believe how if he forgets the controls for something he just blames the game instead of literally just checking the controls to remind himself.
THERE WAS NOTHING i COULD DO
I'm a bit late. I wanna save
"I pressed X. It did nothing". The play through.
Could you imagine being this guy's parents?
his parents probably make TIHYP videos.
TIHYDRAC - This is how you don't raise a child.
*His parents eating dinner with friends*
"Sooo. What does your son do?"
*The parents drop their utensils*
*Awkward Silence*
His parents: "For the last fucking time, that Wolverine toy is not a reason to hate us!"
I've been going down the DSP rabbit hole for a few days now after watching DasBoSchitt's "TH-cam Ave" series and discovering that Phil in the videos was actually, accurately, meant to represent a real person. Almost every new thing I have found out about this thing has somehow managed to irritate me even more than the last.
So far I've noticed a few recurring traits.
>Inability or refusal to learn
>Inability to self reflect
>Inability to also see outside of himself
>Refuses to even attempt to develop any of these basic human brain functions
>Near constant failure to exercise even the most basic of higher cognitive and motor functions
>Cannot understand patterns, or chooses to ignore them (This video has dozens of examples of this, reading a tutorial prompt only to somehow not understand how to perform that action less than 10 minutes later)
>NO higher reasoning capabilities (Please refer to the video where he ranted about his condo for 15 minutes during an unboxing video, while a fire alarm blared in the background, and the box was never touched. He even mentions at the start "you may notice a loud, annoying, ear splitting alarm in the background" yet still decides that time is the best time to record a video, and then uploaded it)
Phil is an NPC, 1000%. He literally is not sentient or aware, I refuse to believe a cognizant creature with a "soul" is capable of being this fucking terrible in literally every possible aspect. Berating him for being the way he is would be like berating a dog for barking at it's shadow, he literally is INCAPABLE of understanding what he is doing wrong, nor does he realize that it is indeed wrong. You can see it looking into his eyes, try any image of him where he's looking into the camera, there's nothing behind his eyes, nothing going on in his head at any given moment, The lights are on, nobody is home.
How can he be bad at so many games. It's like he doesn't even pay attention and then complains when he fucks up. It's amazing.
That is exactly what he does XD
When something doesn't work the way he thinks it should, instead of trying something else he just declares it to be broken and gives up
Why and how does he have a fanbase?
If PDP has a fanbase, it's pretty clear that you need to be THIS awful to actually start to lose them.
Did he get worse or did lets plays just become bigger?
both lol
The mildly serious attempt to answer: He was one of the very first LPers, so he got in on a huge booming thing right on the ground floor, and rose as it did. And in recent years, uh. We won't have to worry about him having any fanbase at all, soon enough. It's already a fraction of what it was. And reviewing himself, improving, or changing is not DSP's strength.
It's an ironic fanbase.
Hate to admit it, but the “Metal Gear Kojima: Sons of Kojima” had me rolling
I can't believe I watched this entire thing.
It was like a car crash; I couldn't look away.
same
I can't believe this dude is actually this fucking stupid..
I love how these get more views then Phills videos
man, it's not even about him not knowing some things or what to do. it's about how he tries to explain it and divert blame. so sickening.
"Alright i'm getting somewhere"
*Falls off a cliff right in front of him.
*SON OF A BITCH!*
Having never played a Darksouls game before, much less played on many other consoles aside from Nintendo, I still feel like I would be able to pick up its controls easier that DSP can.
It's not nearly as bad as the marketing makes it out to be. It has poor communication but aside from that is very well designed.
I like how he blames the game design, mechanics, ai, but never blames himself for being bad at the game
I beat jak and daxter when I was 14 and I never had any trouble. How the hell does this grown ass man have trouble doing the simplest things?
I've been trying to beat Jak 2 for years, still nothing. But at least I didn't go straight into a pit and then yell "WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" during the tutorial level.
I've been watching DSP hate videos all day not knowing about this guy to begin with. A few of them mentioned how bad he was at games, and I never understood just how bad he was until now. Is it actually possible to be this bad? My girlfriend, who has pretty much never played a game in her life, and has started playing one of the hardest genres of games, platformers, is better. I watched her play through Shovel Knight's first tutorial level having never picked up a 3ds in twenty minutes and beat it. She has never played any other game before, and now looking at this guy who has played games before I would feel embarrassed watching him.
If Phil started a patreon for people to donate to beat him, he'd be rich inside a week.
@EkIm I promise I would pay up to a hundred and personally fly out
@EkIm probably drunk judging by the original comment hahaha
54:40 - 54:55 made me laugh my ass off for about 10 minutes straight
How did this guy even manage to have an actual audience back in the day? How?!
this comment is old but I'll answer it anyway, the reason why he had an audience back then was because he was the first TH-camr to do full uncut play throughs of video games on TH-cam, granted, that title didn't last long but he was early enough to get a rooted fan base
@@TheKnuckmin he wasn't the first but he used to be the most consistent with his uploads. If a new game came out, he would have a playthrough uploaded within the day.
Every time I watch a DSP video I feel better about my own lousy game playing.
one day we are all gonna wake up and phils gonna be like "you guys just got pranked, i actually know how to play games!"
Jorji I hope so,please be real.
Jorji this long con is still going lol
Nobody EVER and I mean ALL the Aliens,Terminators and Lovecraft God's don't believe it
I love how no matter what happens, dsp removes his blame. It's always lag or some unresponsive controls or some never happened to anyone else ever before 1/10000000 glitch. He's the type of person that dies in league and says "my flash didn't go off!"
I'm not even a quarter of the way through this video and I think I'm having a stroke...
Does Phil even enjoy games? He makes even the most basic tasks an ordeal, how can you enjoy playing this way? You do not need to be good at games to enjoy them, but i struggle to see how you can enjoy them if you don't at least have half a clue. I have never seen him play a game and not bitch and moan and struggle against basic mechanics.
No he doesn't enjoy them despite him saying "Games are for fun." He only plays them for money and tries to quickly rush through them so he can get paid and move on to the next one.
@@Xehanort10 ^^^ exactly.. it's so God damn obvious he doesn't actually enjoy playing video games.. but, he's a fat ass slob that would rather be known as the most toxic, incompetent gamer on earth than actually have to get off gud couch, leave his house, and go to a job where her may have to stand for a little while..
Best compilation to date, shoutout to all the individual TIHYDP videos and thier respective makers. The little montage of him only knowing what to do if "It's explained to him" or he wont know what to do was priceless. Then, after being explained.. "I can then 'master' the controls" YEA RIGHT! lmao
Phil burnell is the type of guy who brings a knife to a fist fight,But he still loses.
I'm stabbing! I'm stabbing! Cheap IRL tactics, come on!
This guy is the living embodiment of Dante Hicks from Clerks. "I wasn't even suppose to come to work today!" He even looks and sounds like him too...
If Dante were DSP he'd be saying that on a day he was scheduled to work. Also he would have totally failed at his job every step of the way.
Floydthefuckbag Yeah you're right. DSP is just a shittier version of Dante. As well as more pathetic.
That moment in dark souls when he finally figures out how to cast a spell and gets all confident and then immediately falls off the cliff would've been comedy gold had he done it on purpose
I killed Oscar.
I wanted to put him out of his misery so he wouldn't be tortured.
But never did I EVER have THAT MINDSET!!!
When you phrase it like that, I can forgib u
It's been two years but I forgib you too.
Who is Oscar
@@Griffonki The knight dsp killed in Dark souls.
@@Vladicarus what about him is so good?
I’m actually blown away at how long it took him to figure out how to use rations.
I can't believe he bitched about the medallions in RE4. You know, Phil, some people don't want to spend hours on a scavenger hunt. It's unbelievable because I know even he would complain about that if they didn't give him the locations. He seriously complains one way and then complains another. What's the best way to describe someone like that?
The medallions actually give a great reward, and getting ALL of them gives you an upgraded version
this boi says "wow" more than Owen Wilson
Lol the jak and daxter ones were funny as fuck, great video.
+zack19192 tell me, does his neighbor tell him to shut the hell up in this, pls tel meh
+Soomoo poo (Soomoopoo) There is a blatant complaint being made about his noise .. lmao, in one of the more modern Spiderman games.. enjoy! Can't remember name, sorry. The TIHYDP video in fact!
+zack19192 You excited for Tekken 7?
Never heard of this man until today, and after watching him die 10 times in Jak & Daxter, and on the tutorial level none the less, I think Dean Takahashi just gained faith in his ability to play games.
'Beginner's trap'- not knowing what's going to happen is what makes a game or a movie or any other kind of entertainment exciting. 'How was I sposed to know 500 guys were gonna appear?!' You weren't, and that's the fun of it. Being surprised and having to deal with different situations on the fly is what makes for a good game and good gameplay. I hope that DSP goes under the game industry's radar, because if they decide to take him as an average instance of their audience the medium is fucked.
I'd like to see a game with a DSP difficulty level. It guides you step by step, auto equips any items, auto locks on and attacks enemies and prevents you from making any mistakes.
He'd STILL find a way to fuck that up.
Am i the only one who didn't get even slightly mad at the Troy Baker "jokes"? I mean, sure, they weren't funny, but i really don't care for Troy Baker either. let the man have an opini- oh who am i kidding, it's Phil. Roast the bastard.
I’m always baffled when I play a new game and how long things like tutorials are or how I’m your face they are and I always think “man is anyone really this thoughtless playing a game”… apparently yes
is this guy serious? my fiance can play better and complain less and she still has to look at the buttons when I tell her to press X.
@Brad Allen it happens a lot with people who isn't used to playing videogames. Never happened with some parent?
"Didn't double jump" DSP's new catchphrase.