I’ve been commenting on your videos throughout my partner having an avoidant spell due to depression. It’s still a newer relationship (5 months) and this is the first time we’ve dealt with avoidance. So I feel uncomfortable labeling her as avoidant. Particularly as I actually don’t think she has an avoidant attachment style, I just think she is experiencing pretty bad depression and physical health issues and her way of taking care of herself has been keeping to herself. I feel as though we’ve gotten over the worst of it though and we’ve slowly started spending more time together and communicating more often. I guess the biggest thing I’ve learned is patience and not to assume that I’m not loved or my partner doesn’t want to be with me just because they don’t want to be around me for a period of time.
That's a great lesson to take away from your situation! It's not easy to learn but I'm sure it takes a lot of pressure away to feel reassurance that it's not really about you. I'm happy you've been navigating a tough situation so well!
I think we've all tried it at some point or another. Its natural to feel hurt and try to defend yourself or retaliate. But yes I think ultimately it doesn't bring us to the love we really desire.
Hi Ryan, when you say we should do something else we love (hobby) does it mean for a few days until our DA calms or generally find some hobby to do when our dismissive partner is avoiding us? Thank you 🤭
Really it's both. It's always good to have things that you enjoy doing that you can return to when you have down time or need to relieve some stress. And if your partner needs space that's a good opportunity to swing towards other things that make you feel happy in the meantime.
I think in that situation it's okay to not have the reasons and just respect that they say they need time. You can express how you feel too and that you want closeness and see if you can come to an agreement on when that might happen. But if it's a constant issue that you struggle over and can't reach agreement on it's worth asking yourself how happy it makes you feel to be part of this relationship and the same for them and to go from there in whatever direction that takes you.
It's was very painful, I had to call it quits, this person moved on quickly, meanwhile I'm in ashes
Your channel is currently saving me. Also, your speaking and presentation style are peerless.
Thank you! Glad I can help in some way.
Dial it down rather than build your own wall - great advice as always.
Do my own stuff? There is always some things which have to be done...I get busy and concentrate on something werth the while.
I’ve been commenting on your videos throughout my partner having an avoidant spell due to depression. It’s still a newer relationship (5 months) and this is the first time we’ve dealt with avoidance. So I feel uncomfortable labeling her as avoidant. Particularly as I actually don’t think she has an avoidant attachment style, I just think she is experiencing pretty bad depression and physical health issues and her way of taking care of herself has been keeping to herself. I feel as though we’ve gotten over the worst of it though and we’ve slowly started spending more time together and communicating more often. I guess the biggest thing I’ve learned is patience and not to assume that I’m not loved or my partner doesn’t want to be with me just because they don’t want to be around me for a period of time.
That's a great lesson to take away from your situation! It's not easy to learn but I'm sure it takes a lot of pressure away to feel reassurance that it's not really about you. I'm happy you've been navigating a tough situation so well!
Didn’t even recognize you til I heard your voice when it rolled into your video on auto play! . Nice look!
Its been a while... 😅
Thank You!❤
i wish i had you as a friend to call you have a soothing approach - new subbie
I have this condition & I’m going to send this to my partner, if I ever date again
I hope I was able to explain something about how you feel in a good way. 🙂
ugh i tried the double wall technique. disastrous failure.
I think we've all tried it at some point or another. Its natural to feel hurt and try to defend yourself or retaliate. But yes I think ultimately it doesn't bring us to the love we really desire.
Hi Ryan, when you say we should do something else we love (hobby) does it mean for a few days until our DA calms or generally find some hobby to do when our dismissive partner is avoiding us?
Thank you 🤭
Really it's both. It's always good to have things that you enjoy doing that you can return to when you have down time or need to relieve some stress. And if your partner needs space that's a good opportunity to swing towards other things that make you feel happy in the meantime.
What if they dont want to talk about reasons that made them avoid from us? How should we approach? Thanks for these videos btw, they are precious 🌸
I think in that situation it's okay to not have the reasons and just respect that they say they need time. You can express how you feel too and that you want closeness and see if you can come to an agreement on when that might happen. But if it's a constant issue that you struggle over and can't reach agreement on it's worth asking yourself how happy it makes you feel to be part of this relationship and the same for them and to go from there in whatever direction that takes you.
I'm gonna dump that avoidant partner... just kidding. Very nice video and contents thank you! ^.^
Thanks! For some people it might be the right direction to leave a relationship or take a break. It's all up to your personal situation.
What if it’s not your partner and some girl you’re into at your school bus stop but they don’t know that you exist?
I hope she does ;(