Elon Musk's Sister Made THIS MOVIE
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ก.ค. 2024
- Fiddy Shades for prison wives
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#passionflix #TheProtector #reaction - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
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Ma's crib got great internet and bad lighting
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Love ya j
More of these reactions please.
I hope one day you are actually well off. You deserve it.
the boy on top of gitl accidents in anime are much better lol
Here's a review from another source - readysteadycut.com/2019/10/02/pandora-season-1-episode-12-recap-cw/ - he's not impressed, lol.
He then shot Jlongbone, because he thought she was an Iraqi Insurgent-
(#_#)
O
Bridget Little gave you your thousandth like :D
@@randompersononthisearth7812 nobody asked you a GODDAMN THING
I'd like to apologise on behalf of Britain as a whole
Jay Exci
No worries, you gave the world The Protector and we gave the world Jimmy Kimmel so I’d say us Americans are still in the hole.
Yeah, I'm not apologising. We have a right to make crap like any other country.
@@jamstonjulian6947 Honestly, you're right XD. American movies can be just as bad if not worse than this. I mean, have you SEEN the Kissing Booth?!
@@thefaithful4337 no, but Cynical Reviews' review was enough for me to get your point, like goddamn!
I’d like to apologise on the European behalf too....
He protecc, he attacc, the directors are on cracc
This movie looks way too awkward to have a director on crack.
Nice!!😉
The entire staff had morning meetings around a small mirror and a large bag of white powder.
He protecc, heh attacc, the director/editor took a lotta Prozacc
The acting and sex scenes are wacc
"How'd you get your bullet wound?"
"I was shot"
11/10 best writing award 2019
Caleb Johnson where is this mans oscar
This movie is terrible, but to be fair, he actually said he was shot in combat. I thought it was a weird line too and had to turn my headphones on full blast to be able to hear the rest.
This is on the level of "People die when they are killed".
To be fair, maybe she was expecting a story about it.
"How'd you get your knife wound?"
"I was shot"
"..... with a knife?"
"With a shovel."
The angst in this man is so great, i swear he's batwomen's brother.
Batwoman’s Brother - what a great spin-off for CW ...
Actually maybe he would make a decent Batman....or azreal
Shit, now I just want a spin-off where this guy goes to Gotham and discovers he’s the cousin of Bruce Wayne
I'M A WOMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
@@TheNervousAnna Wasn't Azrael changed to a black guy though?
"how did you get your bullet wound?"
"I got shot."
Me: "Seems about right."
That’s some pitch black Edgar Wright comedy right there!
"Your see this bullet wound?"
-Malik Yoba
Press X to Doubt
Are you sure about that????
I dunno. Seems farfetched...
Me: Pikachu face
"I don't bite"
"Maybe I do"
"I've been told I taste good"
EEEEWW
Excuse me I have to vomit
Ismael that rhymes
I swear this is a dialogue straight out of a fanfic
Cue Justin Bieber Yummy
At least Fanfiction writers do less disgusting dialogue than this movie
*small gasp*
"LLLLLLLLIKE A GLOVE!"
"and then she moans and he panics and shoots her in the face, cuz he thinks she's an Iraqian sergeant"
I died there lolol
*Iraqi insurgent
@@beardedbjorn5520 I'm quoting her, therefore it's not wrong. Shh
@@anichka101 you're quoting wrong.
@@beardedbjorn5520 I'm not changing it regardless lol
@@anichka101 that's your prerogative.
Never thought I’d say this but..... Not a better love story than Twilight.
Actually.. Imma have to agree with you.. Jesus.
At least Belle and Edward had..
Some.. type.. of chemistry.
@Yuu Kajuji I mean, 50 Shades is also worse than Twilight.
Finally, someone who admits their is worse shit
Its not much but its a start, ^w^
Boco No Pico is def not a better love story than Twilight
Note: I’ve not seen that!
@@sweetcinnamonpnchkin it was a love story?! Lemme rewatch-
He looks like a man version of Ruby Rose
No, Andy Biersack does
Soooo...Just Ruby Rose then?
So, just Ruby Rose then.
I love that he has the body language of a cat that's standing on its hind legs that has its forelimbs taped to its torso
That’s somehow incredibly accurate 😂
wtf now that Ive read that i can never unsee xD
You owe me a new keyboard... and clean my monitor!😂😂😂
and the cats also constipated
Best comment I've read in 2020
"I've been told I taste good" 🤢
Kill meeeeeee
Lauren Goff Hello 😊🌸🌸
Cue Justin Bieber Yummy
@@davisjames8484 gladly
I'll need a house adress
$500 (PayPal or Western Union)
A will
And somewhere to hide the body
If anything, I feel like that must've been his improvised two cents of his character, because she looked like she had no idea how to take that ... until she did a few minutes later.
Her fish lips make up for him only having a straight line for a mouth -- it gives a sense of balance in their otherwise God-awful relationship.
Underrated comment
*It was meant to be*
It's like Phineas facing forward and Isabella's flat head all over again.
"He looks like a GTA IV character. He looks like he is missing polygons."
Best line.
Goddamn iraqi insurgents invading my life
the minute i saw him propose to her after only a week of bad chemistry was what confirmed my suspicion that the script was written by a teenager on wattpad
Pipa Little my wattpad novels from my teenage years at least had them know eachother for a year or two before proposing.
The way PTSD is portrayed in some movies is just so…painful 💀
That awkward moment where you're mom walks in right after you got railed...
I hate it when that happens 😒
“Can you still walk, sweetie?”
MOM!
XD
"Protect my Buckingham Palace with your London Tower." -- The Protector 2019
"One day, I'm gonna fuck you on this ancient tree trunk." - The Protector (2019) from PassionFlix
@@michaelstrong5383 Honestly those little love notes he left her are far creepier than anything the eventual kidnappers sent.
“Protect my White House with your Pentagon.” -The Protector, the American remake, 2020
@LuckyHorseshoe 4 Oh come on, you couldn't have used the Washington Monument for the latter?
@@guaceldono7231 protect your Hoover Dam with my Grand Canyon... XD
I laughed out loud at least 5 times just because of her reaction to the movie. Most underrated youtuber out there right now.
TRUE!
I agree
Indeed!!!
This is why I watch this, Heel vs Babyface and Thorias Unlimited all for each ep of Batwoman. They all have their insights and brings of quality among each other to the feast.
She is so funny! ! !
"I've been told I taste good."
Dude, the expression on her face after he said that stupid line, it looked like she was trying to keep from bursting out in laughter.
Can you blame her?!
XD
@@Ramsey276one Not. At. All. 😂
Or throwing up🤣
Can we talk about how good The Bodyguard is?
Yes I'm curious about it
Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner are both amazing in that movie.
The soundtrack slays
I immediately thought of the clip FROM The Bodyguard J always uses, the guy going "NOooooooo"
He protec , he can’t act, his mouth full of plaque
👌🏾😂🤣
"Daddy?"
I lost it when that little girl walked in. Just when I thought it couldn't get more cliché.
The even poorer mans fifty shades of grade.
That's an extremely low bar
I swear at some angles, he looks like Ruby Rose
Exactly as I read this comment I looked up at 30:02 and it was perfect
Same pursed lips acting style
SOME?
"He looks like a GTA IV character--he's missing polygons" is the best, most original insult I've heard in a long time
Every now and then we need movies like this which helps prove that not all British actors are amazing.
"You've pulverized every manly part of my body". Not an expert ofn female psychology, but isn't that one of those things most women DON'T want to hear, especially from a dude who's proposing to them?
"Tall dark handsome body guard" Where?!!
The little girl is the best actress in the whole damn movie.
I vote on the British black haired woman
This is an atrocity to any of us who actually have PTSD.
Caleb Johnson and to us without!
He exhibits so many indicators of a controlling and abusive person- insane jealousy, moving the relationship too quickly, when he tells her he’s her caretaker or whatever it was a day after they slept together etc etc and this movie tells you that’s all just romantic and the pinnacle of a good relationship. Ugh annoyed me so much!
Bitch ruuuuuuuun
@Imaru Lewis Exactly!
The dude basically is a Wattpad boyfriend
Hollywood has very toxic ideas of what's romantic and appealing to women.
Lol! I'm a married woman. The reason this type of material is appealing to women is because it's unrealistic, and fast paced. Every woman has an idea of her ideal man, which doesn't exist because, _except for my husband because he's built and acts just like the Prince of all Saiyans_ , we all like assertive men, and the time table in a story is because well, life takes time, and stories and film adaptations can't take too much of it. It's best not to assume that fantasies are the end goal. Besides, the only greatest enemy to women, are the ones that stare back at them.
That tree trunk scene. I'm crying.
I paused it just to laught at that just now!!!! 😂
"I prided myself on being impenetrable"
Well, that's a trait she obviously doesn't share.
"English people put water in their eggs" WHOA that is defently not a thing here trust me ;-; We sometimes put a lil milk in scrambled eggs though
That’s how I always make them!
MILK
WATER is for burgers
XD
@UCWWaD27Cb2lMlbjGOxhPZYA fuck you mean water is for burgers-?
@@artisti.o3744 instead of oil/butter.
Just the bottom of the pan
I’m not making Burger Soup!
XD
This is the sort of story you’d find on the Episode app except its a moive
It's like James Bond, but he washed out of the Royal Marines before he could become a spy
@Qwerty Bastard In Skyfall, Bond showed ten times the charisma and tenacity as this guy does in a single minute. And Bond was also pretty shaken up and injured, to boot!
This guy feels like he was written by someone with little understanding of how a strong male protagonist would believably act.
Plus, I’m English and I’ve never heard of anyone putting water in scrambled eggs! Yuck!
They are both bad actors. But her "role" is more like her: a pretty faced brat. Him, on the other hand, is just a tall guy and nobody buys he is a veteran, not even of the meme wars!
Dr B
He looks like a veteran of a gay strip club
@@guaceldono7231 😂
@@guaceldono7231 Don't compare them, at least those people are moderately attractive.
Batwoman, Beauty and the Beast, Brooke Houtz......it don't matter. We love you J ❤❤
THIS MOVIE CAN'T EVEN DO WAR FLASHBACKS PROPERLY! Like, they couldn't even afford to use the soundtrack to a thousand Vietnam flashbacks, Creedence Clearwater Revival's 'Fortunate Son' XD
Is this the unofficial Fifty Shades of Grey spin-off we never heard about?
Oh god a bad fanfic of bad fanfic
I use the bad fanfic to destroy the bad fanfic
Fight fire with fire
You got me with the "Dramatic....PAUSE!" 😂
13:05 I remember when I accidentally walked into a girl’s bathroom the other day. There was a girl literally right next to me and all she said was “umm” and continued on with her day.
That somehow still didn’t convince my dumbass that I was in the wrong bathroom and I only realized due to the men’s bathroom having an orange tint while the girl’s had a blue tint.
If it makes you feel better, I went into a men's bathroom a few years ago and only realised when I was LEAVING the stall and saw a guy at a urinal.
Honestly I wouldn’t even notice. I’m just that oblivious.
Lmao! I know women who actually scream at dudes who walk into women's restrooms. They exist.
@@miffedcuttlefish6139 I am unfortunately one of them
Whether it's a Batwoman episode or anything else, your reactions are always the best.
WAIT...... i hear something
SHE'S HERE!!!!!!
DRAMATICCC....
PAUSE!!!!!
It feels like the “action scenes” were an after thought. Like they forgot they were making a bodyguard movie.
Christian Grey as a bodyguard? A military-trained bodyguard? Cant tell if that's better than him being a billionaire.
OK so i went to that streaming platform site and it said "We’re turning your favorite romance novels into movies and series." Then i saw a bunch of low budget book covers/posters. At this point i'm not surprise if Wattpad and AO3 make their own streaming platform with their original contents
In my experience, Iraqi insurgents would climb into your rack after moving the coffee table to a different location and then they spray obsession to cover-up any possible livestock related scents. So I can confirm that pulling out your "gun" when you hear a moaning sound coming from your large comfortable rack, is the correct action to take. I can't count the number of super models I've almost killed from this exact scenario. Probably zero but because of my PTSD I no longer have the ability to count to zero so you can see my frustration.
LOVE THIS
XD
I didn’t even know this film or streaming service even existed. Thank you for this needed knowledge, Jlongbone.
Barely two minutes in, and I am laughing like a damn hyena.
This is like that one trashy romance novel with the picture of the shirtless dude on the cover in the discount bin of Barnes and Noble
Or those discount cheap knockoff novels at Walmart
It was love at first D E A D S T A R E
I love how when he slides the gun, it goes *glksjalkgsfk* and nobody notices it
This movie sounds like it was based off a wattpad story
As soon as you said Christian Grey, I realized who he reminded me of.
He's just as creepy as Grey when he does weird sociopathic shit
May we get a Black Christmas (2019) review? That movie looks like shit and I want to see someone professionally tear it apart.
Wait, whut?
True
Yessssss
Didn't the 2007(?) remake fail spectacularly? WHY would anyone be stupid enough to repeat that mistake?
(in JLongbone voice) WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
What if google was named bobble.
Would googleheads proudly name themselves bobbleheads
These are the questions that science needs to explain
How many people proudly call themselves googleheads?
Wtf is a googlehead?
@@johnLennon255 a person with Steampunk googles. Duh!!! XD
We really undervalue this woman. I am literally at 10:16 seconds and that already feels like too much time devoted to this. This woman watched this before, and then took it like a champ for us and watched it again just to deliver comedy gold. You're a real one Jlongbone. God bless you
ok but WHY does he actually look like ruby rose-
English people do NOT put water in their scrambled eggs! You wrong!
Not once! I’m speaking on behalf of all my kind! 😂
This is an 80s movie in 2019
It is cheese in movie form.
There is only one Protector. The Tony Jaa one. It's badass, so see it if you have time.
Truth
Best martial artist on Earth. Jaa is amazing!!!
Muay Thai master right next to Sagat
And then they fucked that up by making a sequel.
@Christopher Das As a matter of fact, Jackie has a cameo in The Protector fairly early on.
And yes, the sequel wasn't that great. One id Jaa's other awesome flicks, Ong Bak, had the same problem.
Lmao....
"How badass can this guy be if he has to take medication for cold showers"
main blonde bimbo: "How did you get your bullet wound?"
me faking BAD BRITISH ACCENT: "I shot myself."
Stupid mopey bodyguard: "I was shot in combat."
(Me thinking my line was better)
"How badass can this guy be if he has to take medication for cold showers?" 20/10 best line ever
I swear to god, when she read that not that said "One day i'm gonna fuck you on this ancient tree trunck" i burst out laughing for at least a few minutes.
I don't think i've ever laughed so hard at a movie
What the fuck
I love Not Jason Statham movies. 😍
“You’re my daddy”
Then he shoots her in the face cuz he thinks she’s an iraqi insurgent
You should watch "The Protector" starring Tony Jaa. Instead of awkard kind-of-romance it has a tiny asian man brutally destroying mens limbs on a search for his stolen pet elephant
To quote Archer: You want ants? THAT'S HOW YOU GET ANTS!!
"Don't worry, I don't bite."
- "What if I do?"
"I've been told it tastes good."
That's probably one of the most uncomfortable lines of dialogue I've heard in a while.
JLongbone, you're a national treasure. It's great to see your channel growing!
the blond protagonist has a lego face.
I’m sorry my father would demand I put on clothing before we have a conversation:
The actor who plays the father (who's name I can't remember lol) does a GREAT Cicero job in HBO's Rome. I've also seen him in the theatre, i feel sorry that he's had to act in this shit. (it's like Dan Stevens in Beauty and the Beast hahaha)
He was also Mr. Collins in the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice.
THAT’S where I recognise him from!!
'This guy is missing polygons'
I have GOT to use that some time 😅
28:24
"Where'd you get that bullet hole?"
"It was back... before... I made myself impenetrable..."
“Fiddy Shades for prison wives.”
Me: *chokes on my drink from laughing*
Why does this movie have a hard on for extreme closeups?
Adults don't threaten other adults with spankings 😂😂😂😂
This movie made me physically ill.
The protecc, he attacc, he give you PTSD in sacc
This movie is embarrassing...I have so much secondhand embarrassment watching this.🤣
Your laugh is so infectious!
You really got me with the, "Music by acclaimed artist, Al B. Suredapick a Different Fucking Career". That shit had me rolling! 😆😂🤣
Yes. Yes. Yes. I want as many of these videos as possible. (Don't wear yourself out or anything lol. I just really enjoy this type of video a lot.)
They are so friggin good. Like, I legitimately rewatch the movie/TV show reaction videos all the time. You actually put a lot of effort into these, you have great insight, and your laugh is absolutely infectious.
Thank you for this 30+ minute treat!
“LIKE A GLOVE” 💀💀
This reminds me of these books I see in the library. They're small in stature but usually have 300 pages. Then title will something like, Her Ex - Navy Seal. And on the front cover there will be a guy with his shirt off, hand on his hips, staring off into the distance, wearing a gun strap holster.
Dammit I was trying to paint my nails during the dramatic pauses and got polish all over my freakin fingers
CHRISTY R 😂🤣😂🤣😂
She protect, she attack, but most importantly Jlongbone makes a reaction back to back
I am actually disgusted that such an actor like David Bamber, the model's father, has to resort to this. He played Mr. Collins against Colin Firth's Darcy for Austen's sake.
Her brother makes spaceships and wants to colonise mars. Imagine being in that family.
Move over 50 shades, this is our romance blockbuster of the decade.
10:41 that movie is called “The Bodyguard “ (1992)
Pause at 21:34 and enjoy whatever that face is
What the fucking SHIT WAS THAT?!?!! You were fucking RIGHT about *that one scene.* (25:00) I laughed so hard I fell over, I was just screaming "what the fuck! Oh my god!" Thank you JLongbone, Fucking *THANK YOU* for this gift in my life!!!
2:07 is no one gonna mention how fucking fast that slap was holy shit i didn't see her move