*365 Days* Better Than PassionFlix? | MOVIE REACTION

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
  • I'm starting a petition to have those who still use "babygirl" sent to Guantanamo Bay
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    #365Days #moviereaction #reaction

ความคิดเห็น • 1K

  • @JLongbone
    @JLongbone  4 ปีที่แล้ว +297

    They had the gall to copyright their whack soundtrack, so, if ya wanna...
    ►Become a Patron!
    www.patreon.com/JLongbone OR
    ►Donate!
    www.paypal.me/BoneyLong

    • @monsorelong5066
      @monsorelong5066 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I feel so so bad for you. Buuuuuuut thank you for suffering to entering us.

    • @beavis8073
      @beavis8073 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      What are your thoughts on 50 shades?

    • @AxelFlash220
      @AxelFlash220 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      You getting strikes baby gurl?

    • @ManchesterUnited541
      @ManchesterUnited541 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you jlgodbone

    • @barbarabaker1457
      @barbarabaker1457 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I feel like apologizing to Poland on Netflix's behalf for making This what they are famous for in movies. Angie's at least England had other famous movies here when fifty Shades came out. Baby girl alone hurt my brain, lol "Sahara desert." I'd say each Twilight fan fictions music got progressively worse, which is sad because, awful as twilight was, the soundtrack was amazing. @13:30 why does it feel oddly stolen from the little mermaid though? But yes, step up. And yes, he's actually appealing. But he's a duche and that gives me Sahara. Can't deny the effort though.

  • @zakkybounce
    @zakkybounce 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2335

    Couldn't find the right subtitles for this?
    Sounds like you were lost, babygirl.

    • @leadvendor
      @leadvendor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Oh LORT. XD

    • @TVrawks301
      @TVrawks301 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Good one!

    • @CatCatCaat
      @CatCatCaat 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      Babygorl

    • @thethmooteresa
      @thethmooteresa 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      😫😫👌👌 Comment was worthy of the heart of the queennn

    • @mr.a1827
      @mr.a1827 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Hello 911?

  • @franciscolaurean8550
    @franciscolaurean8550 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1414

    JLongbone: *Has a baby*
    Doctor: Congratulations, it's a baby girl
    JLongbone: *Triggered*

    • @ponikoTV
      @ponikoTV 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      best coment ever

    • @redbigun
      @redbigun 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

      Jlongbone: Fuck it. Put it back in.

    • @tileyahallen8219
      @tileyahallen8219 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      What could be worse? Is if the doctor was middle eastern w an accent.

  • @daniboy4153
    @daniboy4153 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1016

    Y'all remember the Wattpad fanfictions about kidnap and all? This movie is basically those fanfictions, but adapted.

    • @RibbonVintageGirl
      @RibbonVintageGirl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      Oh noooooo that reminds me of a 1D fanfic where the reader became a sex slave for the entire bandmate

    • @mrpurple11
      @mrpurple11 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Wattpad? This type of fics have existed since the early age of internet. I think they are fine bc its just fantasy but not movie material where it's mainstream

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@RibbonVintageGirl Or ones where they just fuck each other?

    • @rickrollrizal2364
      @rickrollrizal2364 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I'm not surprised if the writer was a wattpad writer.

    • @RibbonVintageGirl
      @RibbonVintageGirl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@rickrollrizal2364 OT but Oh my God I love Your username and pfp

  • @TheSouloftheDragon
    @TheSouloftheDragon 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1299

    "Reading my Henry Cavill dom-fic."
    *Raises finger to ask questions*
    "Don't ask!"
    *Lowers finger*

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      Plenty of baby boy on Geraskier fics

    • @aconcept1579
      @aconcept1579 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      blacktigerpaw1 a fellow man of culture👌

    • @kerrychristensen7204
      @kerrychristensen7204 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@blacktigerpaw1 yeaaaAAAHHH \0/ LUTE LOVE 💖

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@kerrychristensen7204 "Lube that ass, lemme play a song"

    • @kerrychristensen7204
      @kerrychristensen7204 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@blacktigerpaw1 😂👌"lovely bottom"

  • @joinsideke
    @joinsideke 4 ปีที่แล้ว +498

    It would be better if she only pretended to love him to get him to lower his guard and then shanked him or something.

    • @luckytidbit6225
      @luckytidbit6225 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      She could have been the iraqien surgeon

    • @arcanonn
      @arcanonn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      She kinda did when they first “met” with the whole gun thing.

    • @cam5816
      @cam5816 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@luckytidbit6225The what?

  • @thewritersquill
    @thewritersquill 4 ปีที่แล้ว +873

    Her majesty has returned to grace us with her commentary for...*looks at title*... Oh god🙄

    • @lilelo208
      @lilelo208 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yeah, rather have part two of the Batman highschool comic..I haven't seen the movie, it didn't look interesting to me at all.
      I'm still grateful though, anything is good from this channel. (At least for me.)

  • @SomeGuy02
    @SomeGuy02 4 ปีที่แล้ว +611

    We know Jlongbones kryptonite now. Next time she is on EFAP, we just need to send in super chats that only say "BABY GIRL"

    • @JLongbone
      @JLongbone  4 ปีที่แล้ว +331

      NOOOOO

    • @KorporalNoobs
      @KorporalNoobs 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      You not gonna sabotage the sexual juggernaut that is EFAP like that.

    • @DualisticDuelist
      @DualisticDuelist 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@JLongbone aRe YoU LoSt BaBy GuRl?

    • @Vashthestampede967
      @Vashthestampede967 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yeah but who's gonna pay?

    • @manicmentacide
      @manicmentacide 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thats just mean 😂😂😂

  • @Missjunebugfreak
    @Missjunebugfreak 4 ปีที่แล้ว +714

    This movie's premise would have worked better as a horror. In fact, I'm convinced it is a horror film masquerading as soft porn.

    • @amyrat151
      @amyrat151 4 ปีที่แล้ว +91

      A lot of these "romantic" movies would be way more convincing as horror movies.

    • @daniboy4153
      @daniboy4153 4 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      These movies are just another episode of "Law And Order: Special Victims Unit"

    • @hothotheat3000
      @hothotheat3000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      The guy would have to be ugly for it to be a horror movie.

    • @sonicmarge
      @sonicmarge 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@hothotheat3000 He's a 5 at best, he can pass

    • @ConfusedReject
      @ConfusedReject 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      There is a horror movie with a kinda similar plot called The Collector made in 1965. Its about a butterfly collector who stalks and obsesses over this London art student and kidnaps her in his old big house. He gives her a time limit to love him and she tries every way to escape or convince him to escape. Its a good film imo

  • @ankaro4258
    @ankaro4258 4 ปีที่แล้ว +580

    Polish here. Author of this book is a meme in country. This movie get here so many bad review that it also become a meme. But there are some Karens that needs some Massimo fantasy so it's popular. But still it's consider bad as f.

    • @lenase7396
      @lenase7396 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      Honestly it s even funny that the 365 days books are sold in libraries in your country. Somebody give polish Karens decents books to read thanks.

    • @laureenambani8739
      @laureenambani8739 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Books like this are mostly for sexually deprived middle age housewives or some middle age women that have no kids not married and sexually starving .
      Karens are mostly over exaggerating highly conservative women that make a storm in a teacup so this movie would probably not be for them .

    • @Annica88
      @Annica88 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I hate this generalization. I'm Polish, I'm not a Karen or middle age women with no kids. And I really like it. It's not a piece of art, yeah, that's for sure, but it's just a type of entertainment.

    • @Kpaine
      @Kpaine 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Sounds just like what 50 Shades was (or still is) for America.

    • @nutbunny10
      @nutbunny10 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Annica88 Massimo is dreamy

  • @nobody2996
    @nobody2996 4 ปีที่แล้ว +212

    How to write a dominant and aggressive character: Constantly have them yell that they are aggressive and dominant like a tryhard.

  • @martynar46
    @martynar46 4 ปีที่แล้ว +409

    Jesus, the amount of pure shame us Poles feel for THIS to become the overseas hit Polish movie is just out of this world

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Graphic jizz, yo!

    • @fusselmietz5929
      @fusselmietz5929 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      Don't feel bad, you still have the witcher franchise!

    • @Januchta99
      @Januchta99 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Fuck the witcher, its for friggin children, weve got Kieslowski franchise and Duda-Gracz paintings

    • @fructosecornsyrup5759
      @fructosecornsyrup5759 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Someone over there needs to make a romance involving a winged hussar and it'd entirely make up for this, ngl

    • @cam5816
      @cam5816 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Your crime is not forgotten

  • @Anna-tk7ui
    @Anna-tk7ui 4 ปีที่แล้ว +602

    This entire movie is just a kidnapping self insert AU on AO3, all that's missing is Harry Styles or some BTS member.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Kidnapping plots can be done well, especially if there's genuine understanding like Belle and the Beast

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      There are so many ABO fics like that featuring real people with pirate plots and shit it's fucked

    • @cranberryrosebud
      @cranberryrosebud 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Anna As an army, I’ve seen some BTS stuff I’ll never recover from

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@cranberryrosebud Like this epic?
      archiveofourown.org/works/10795731
      There was one where one of the band mates was a cat girl sex bot and the other member fucked his mouth and didn't realize it was actually a living human being.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Sabrina-vc9yt Lol you read the first chapter?

  • @JayExci
    @JayExci 4 ปีที่แล้ว +954

    hey babygirl uwu

  • @TheTsugnawmi2010
    @TheTsugnawmi2010 4 ปีที่แล้ว +932

    The girl should have spent this movie abusing HER power in the relationship and making him spend shit tonnes of money on random shit "to make her happy". She knows she can't escape , but she knows he won't hurt her because he's smitten.
    He has forceful power, but SHE has emotional power.

    • @RedRoseSeptember22
      @RedRoseSeptember22 4 ปีที่แล้ว +260

      Not necessarily, he sexually assaulted her MULTIPLE times which can classify as hurting her. Especially since he said he wouldn't touch her without her permission, yet did it several times.

    • @CT-se8vn
      @CT-se8vn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +108

      Macent she did at the shopping montage

    • @DoubleDeckerDave
      @DoubleDeckerDave 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Jeez

    • @IggyTheBalrog
      @IggyTheBalrog 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      That's often the case in abuse cycles. Doesn't make getting yo ass handed to you by your fella any less horrific.

    • @hothotheat3000
      @hothotheat3000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      A power struggle between the two of them, with her coming into her own as a dominant and him slowly becoming a submissive to her would’ve been really interesting, actually.

  • @MostDefinitelyNotRosie
    @MostDefinitelyNotRosie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +234

    *neck grab* OOOOO
    "Baby gorl" uuuuugh

    • @moxiemaxie3543
      @moxiemaxie3543 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I was like Yummy then I started laughing

  • @47bloodhound
    @47bloodhound 4 ปีที่แล้ว +315

    Just realised the woman changed her hair so that it's the friend who gets killed and she's kidnapped and sold off or something.......why am I even thinking about this?

    • @flagger1067
      @flagger1067 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Jesus, you just made it ten times better XD

    • @shanedaley6236
      @shanedaley6236 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Amanda the Jedi covered this movie too it was funny this was inspired by 50 shades and has a sequel coming I guess

    • @GokaikillerTobi
      @GokaikillerTobi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      That's actually clever.

    • @kaykutcher2103
      @kaykutcher2103 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Vean Studio "Hair".

    • @Melmeltheclown
      @Melmeltheclown 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Basically

  • @monkeyming5545
    @monkeyming5545 4 ปีที่แล้ว +802

    The worse part about this movie is you can’t even flip the creepiness to be sexy. Like in Twilight, you could see Bella and Edward had a thing, even though it was manipulative and weird, you could see it. This? Nope

    • @DoubleDeckerDave
      @DoubleDeckerDave 4 ปีที่แล้ว +127

      Bella was a naive teenager, of course it would be believable for her to fall for Edward.

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 4 ปีที่แล้ว +131

      That's because Bella was a teenage girl. The woman in this movie is supposed to be in her late 20's. There's no excuse for this kind of creepiness.

    • @FreeSpirit90
      @FreeSpirit90 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      you can thank Barbara Bialowas for that.

    • @SoWhosGae
      @SoWhosGae 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Michael Strong 30-31

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      The TikTok women loving this are the same ones who decry rape culture.

  • @molinagrn65
    @molinagrn65 4 ปีที่แล้ว +388

    One of my issues with Massimo is that he is so against trafficking little girls, okay good, but then he kidnaps a woman who didn’t know him and pretty much didn’t want to be there. Like ??
    I think I would’ve digged it more if they had made Laura more intelligent with her escape plan but showed so is Massimo, like they are both very smart. But Laura was an idiot through the film.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      It'd be better if she was aware he's a Mafia boss and her leaving would put her family at risk. She would be forced to accept her new life and figure out ways to get it to her advantage.

    • @molinagrn65
      @molinagrn65 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      blacktigerpaw1 That too. The conflicts weren’t really explored.

    • @mywatchdoesmath4669
      @mywatchdoesmath4669 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      Which begs the question of why even show her as a competent, no-nonsense business woman when all she was going to devolve into was a brat of sorts whose only real "power" in this dynamic was spending the dudes money?

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Plop Plop Believe it or not, 'Orphan' does that.

    • @laurene988
      @laurene988 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I mean I guess you gotta have some limits/morals? But it's still really weird and awkward

  • @alexvalentine5091
    @alexvalentine5091 3 ปีที่แล้ว +271

    Fun fact: apparently for the bj scene, I believe the actress is performing on a strap. Also the crew kept laughing at the scene so they had to redo it.

    • @hkaayaakuu
      @hkaayaakuu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That doesn't help if a girl is giving a bj and the film crew is laughing.

    • @osmanyousif7849
      @osmanyousif7849 หลายเดือนก่อน

      With the strap-on, or on the real thing?!

    • @alexvalentine5091
      @alexvalentine5091 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@osmanyousif7849 the strap obv

  • @ValD98
    @ValD98 4 ปีที่แล้ว +268

    "Reading my Henry Cavill dom-fics. Don't ask!"
    We don't have to ask, Jay. We understand. We've all been there.

  • @paigel8136
    @paigel8136 4 ปีที่แล้ว +301

    I call my CAT and SMALL CHILDREN "Baby girl."
    Excuse me for a minute. 🤮😭

    • @laurene988
      @laurene988 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Just don't call your partner that

    • @akatie888
      @akatie888 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      My dogs name is babygirl

    • @jetnight88
      @jetnight88 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@akatie888 daaaa stop

  • @chloepetersen6550
    @chloepetersen6550 4 ปีที่แล้ว +470

    Funny how this movie is "controversial" around the Karens, when they practically eat up Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey, but hey I guess double standards don't exist to them.

    • @RibbonVintageGirl
      @RibbonVintageGirl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      That means it is THAT bad

    • @julie-eh6nk
      @julie-eh6nk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@RibbonVintageGirl exactly. Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey are strange concepts but there's one thing that differentiates them from this and that's✨ c o n c e n t ✨

    • @ValD98
      @ValD98 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

      @@julie-eh6nk There was plenty of shit that Anna and Bella didn't consent to in the movies (getting undressed in a hotel room, being asked to abort her baby, being lifted on Gray's shoulder and spanked during an argument, crying whilst being spanked, being watched while she sleeps). Not to mention the whole predatory aspect of inviting virgin women into a sexual experience they clearly can't fully understand, whether it be BDSM they aren't even into or the power and knowledge of a hundred year old vampire. At least in the case of 365 days, the lead chick is a grown woman who's already had sex, and seems to be into the rough handling she's receiving, though is understandably put off by the whole kidnapping aspect.

    • @julie-eh6nk
      @julie-eh6nk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@ValD98 I get what you're saying my comment wasn't really meant in a serious way haha I've never even watched 50 Shades of Gray but to me 365 days is just romanticising the whole kidnapping thing plus the way Massimo treated the women around him made me extremely sick. Like I said I've never seen 50 Shades of Gray and I don't want to justify anything about the movie but it doesn't seem as bad to me as 365 days as people that have watched and enjoyed 50 Shades of Gray are disturbed by 365 Days

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ValD98 Which was dropped by the shopping plot.

  • @shxdeeii5439
    @shxdeeii5439 4 ปีที่แล้ว +238

    “Ima show you what ur missing”
    What she missing? That she going to be doing all the work? 😂🤦‍♀️

    • @klg9549
      @klg9549 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      AYYYYYYYYY

    • @hothotheat3000
      @hothotheat3000 4 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      Legit, he should have eaten the other chick out like Longbone said.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@hothotheat3000 He should've done it to her friend for added benefits.

    • @RobertMorgan
      @RobertMorgan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      "That she going to be doing all the work?"
      no,no,no, that's she's going to be ALLOWED to do all the work. She has to EARN the PRIVILEGE of doing all the work, and like it.

  • @Kadrzamarynarz111
    @Kadrzamarynarz111 4 ปีที่แล้ว +170

    That singer in the background is the actor who plays massimo xddddddd

    • @amandashotzman6324
      @amandashotzman6324 4 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      Hes like this is my mixtape it will play in every scene!!!

    • @JLongbone
      @JLongbone  4 ปีที่แล้ว +116

      He should stick to acting, honestly lol

    • @mywatchdoesmath4669
      @mywatchdoesmath4669 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Oh my God, they took another page out of the Twilight movies' book

    • @andieallison6792
      @andieallison6792 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Which song?

  • @EmoBunny69
    @EmoBunny69 4 ปีที่แล้ว +320

    I still can’t believe that mossimo wouldn’t have a second phone; like you’re in the mafia? What did sprint not let you get another phone on your plan?

  • @eros5420
    @eros5420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +391

    Ive been with several women into DDLG. Emphasis on they were into it. Talking to a chick like you are going to go spin her on the carousel and buy her ice cream is a quick way to de-sexualize the mood.

    • @eshaskepple5218
      @eshaskepple5218 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Forgive my ignorance, but what's DDLG?

    • @eros5420
      @eros5420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +89

      @@eshaskepple5218 is say google it but.... Its Daddy Dom. Little Girl.
      They like to be treated like children. Some even want to be supported or spoiled with gifts. Even harder pass on that shit. Lol.
      And don't feel bad for asking lol.

    • @theepoch1354
      @theepoch1354 4 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      Shits mad creepy son.

    • @beardedbjorn5520
      @beardedbjorn5520 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I mean, were they touched as children or some shit? That’s creepy as hell! LMAo

    • @silentgroyper5069
      @silentgroyper5069 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Women like these exist? Yoo share the wealth!

  • @nm6577
    @nm6577 4 ปีที่แล้ว +147

    In book Massimo said "You must be lost."/"Chyba się zgubiłaś." not "Are you lost babygirl".

    • @moren8689
      @moren8689 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Sounds more in-tone with his character.

  • @Alex-rh8mr
    @Alex-rh8mr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +279

    You legit make me laugh harder than just about any other youtuber that I’ve come across. Yeah there are other channels that I like a lot in terms of humor but I swear your videos are on a whole different level of funny. Thank u so fuckin much for making videos dude please never stop!

    • @Missjunebugfreak
      @Missjunebugfreak 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Agreed. Her channel is a gem.

    • @flagger1067
      @flagger1067 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      June Asiimwe she’s a gem! Love her commentaries because they’re soo funny and entertaining I can’t stop watching.

  • @wynngwynn
    @wynngwynn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    "Scar snipes him from Pride Rock" Not the sentence I was expecting to hear today.

  • @juliannah5721
    @juliannah5721 4 ปีที่แล้ว +246

    Remember ladies, kidnapping, assault, & manipulation is OK if he's hot, badass, &/or RICH AF

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      If it took place on a trailer park it'd be an SVU episode

    • @JLongbone
      @JLongbone  4 ปีที่แล้ว +94

      Pretty sure women aren't forfeiting their real life morality for a fictional dark romance movie.

    • @ValD98
      @ValD98 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      @@JLongbone Was about to say. Rape fantasies don't translate to a desire for rape.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      @@ValD98 OP was saying that if the guy wasn't hot, it wouldn't be your typical fantasy. All it'd take was for the guy to be a trucker and it'd be a murder mystery.

    • @juliannah5721
      @juliannah5721 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@ValD98 that wasn't my point, tho.

  • @akiva4900
    @akiva4900 4 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    It feels like the original title of this was "365 shades of grey."

  • @Shatterstar
    @Shatterstar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +121

    *Took a shot of liquor every time he says baby girl*
    *now has alcohol poisoning*

  • @bluelanternguardianangel8038
    @bluelanternguardianangel8038 4 ปีที่แล้ว +361

    Whenever Jlongbone comes across a trashy movie/ show she's like that stereotypical prospector hick that finds gold in the wild west and i love it lol

  • @midnightkat3130
    @midnightkat3130 4 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    “I’m not the monster you think i am”
    MAYBE IM THE MONSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
    *im sorry*

  • @aldovesper1362
    @aldovesper1362 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    The music actually makes me flinch every single time it comes on. Like, I’ve never seen a movie where the _music_ is what makes it drag. This movie is an-hour-and-a-half and it feels like each song adds another fifteen minutes.

  • @kylefrank638
    @kylefrank638 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    18:18 18:42 19:21 "I won't do anything to you without your permission"
    Remember writing that line for him in that other scene, mr. or ms. script-person?

  • @madigable2125
    @madigable2125 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    “I’ll be sitting back, chilling, reading my favorite Henry Cavill dom fic- *don’t ask, shut the fuck up.* “
    I feel that.

  • @samantaraafat8526
    @samantaraafat8526 4 ปีที่แล้ว +204

    Are we sure this movie wasn’t originally a Wattpad book? Because it sure as hell ticks all the boxes of being a Wattpad book:
    -“strong independent woman” main lead who falls in love with the abusive dude anyways
    -mafia leader who’s super hot and godlike and was personally sculpted by the gods with chiseled abs and other generic hot main guy descriptions, also has zero personality
    -cringe dialogue and too many sex scenes
    -unrealistic portrayal of the mafia
    -the hot main lead is cold and calculating and dangerous but has a Sad(TM) past and for some reason changes for the woman he only met a week ago
    -main lead dude changes for his love but the main lead female never changes
    I mean, is there anything more Wattpad than that?

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      It'd be a smash hit if it were gay, like Call Me By Your Name. Elio in that book threatens to break Oliver's legs if he leaves him.

    • @samantaraafat8526
      @samantaraafat8526 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @blacktigerpaw1 oh god, I just got middle school flashbacks to those kind of stories.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@samantaraafat8526 I wrote a response and TH-cam deleted it. Nice.

    • @DoodleDoo2
      @DoodleDoo2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      blacktigerpaw1 WHAT. And yet people hype the movie that has the minor and the 27 year old 💀

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@somethingsomethingdarkside4603 They happen to be very common tropes, in both gay and het fanfiction. I see it all the time in multiple fandoms.

  • @laoaidan2400
    @laoaidan2400 4 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    Anyone here ever play Episode? This feels like someone made a movie based on Episode instead of the usual wattpad fanfic

    • @janethebluemouse
      @janethebluemouse 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Lao Aidan 😂
      I bet she spent some diamonds for that tacky hairstyle

    • @laoaidan2400
      @laoaidan2400 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      The purple penguin “some”? she spent _all_

    • @RibbonVintageGirl
      @RibbonVintageGirl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@janethebluemouse All of the Diamonds!

    • @anonymousartist80
      @anonymousartist80 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Episode ads are usually better than the actual game

  • @jasondeveraux6150
    @jasondeveraux6150 4 ปีที่แล้ว +436

    The movie is trash. This review/reaction, however, is curing my depression...

    • @darth_autismo
      @darth_autismo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I prescribe Jlongbone once a week

  • @yourneighborhoodxenos
    @yourneighborhoodxenos 4 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    That "Katy Perry downgrade" joke hit too hard and too bluntly XD as an elder Zoomer who grew up in KP's prime, I must violently concur

  • @anthonyguidas2012
    @anthonyguidas2012 4 ปีที่แล้ว +99

    Pretty sure “baby girl “ ended when Morgan left Criminal Minds🤣

    • @aconcept1579
      @aconcept1579 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Too soon💀

    • @GokaikillerTobi
      @GokaikillerTobi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      That was the only time it was acceptable.

    • @luistowersss
      @luistowersss 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Derek Morgan is the only person allowed to use baby girl

  • @gramboni0624
    @gramboni0624 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Mossimo's Dad: One day when I am gone you will have my empire.
    Random Sniper: You want an advance on that chief?

  • @michaelstrong5383
    @michaelstrong5383 4 ปีที่แล้ว +635

    Can't believe we found a movie that's more trashy and creepier than Fifty Shades.

    • @Missjunebugfreak
      @Missjunebugfreak 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      I'm just dumbfounded that we're going to get a sequel to this hot garbage.

    • @greyblueme9711
      @greyblueme9711 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      We get twilight, then we get a fan fiction of twilight, and then we get a fan fiction of twilight's fan fiction

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      But the ejaculation scene!

    • @AnimaVox_
      @AnimaVox_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      >when you make a bad fanfiction of a bad fanfiction of a bad novel
      The memes make themselves.

    • @RibbonVintageGirl
      @RibbonVintageGirl 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@greyblueme9711 The Russian Nesting Dolls of Hellerotica

  • @ManiacalForeigner
    @ManiacalForeigner 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    You don't know the half of it, J - I'm convinced Polish romance movies (drama or comedy, but *especially* comedy) are some sort of cognitohazard mind virus, specifically designed to drive anyone except middle-aged Polish women to lunacy.
    We used to have some amazing filmmakers too: Wajda ("Ashes and Diamonds", "The Wedding"), Kieślowski ("The Decalogue", "Three Colours Trilogy"), Żuławski ("The Possession", "The Public Woman") [and even more unpronounceable names, believe it or not!] for a start.
    Nowadays, it's pretty much all lowest common denominator trash, but your reaction to it is pure gold!

  • @TheAutistWhisperer
    @TheAutistWhisperer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    This film has a 3.3 out 10 user rating on IMDB and yet 81 percent of google users like this film. Google users have odd tastes.

  • @samfanhellyeah
    @samfanhellyeah 4 ปีที่แล้ว +158

    At least the guy is actual hot for once but yeah the baby girl line. ......nope nope nope

  • @KlutzyNinjaKitty
    @KlutzyNinjaKitty 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    At first I thought J was exaggerating in the Baby Girl Rant. But, then I thought about it. Like, really thought about it. It really is the ultimate mood-killing pet name. Babe/baby, doll, and all other names that are similar have a significantly higher moisture factor compared to ‘baby girl.’ There’s just something about those two words together, and I can’t figure it out.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Honestly it depends on how it's used. I don't mind it, but the delivery and mood does it for me.

    • @jetnight88
      @jetnight88 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ahhhhh no no
      No baby girl

    • @crawlingboy
      @crawlingboy 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Doll I can see or even sometimes Baby
      But baby girl just sounds wrong it sounds like something you say to your child
      Just use darling

    • @KlutzyNinjaKitty
      @KlutzyNinjaKitty 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@crawlingboy Yeah, exactly! It’s like “Southern dad picking up his toddler from daycare” energy. Not sexy at all.

  • @frankamarkovic3180
    @frankamarkovic3180 4 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    You see this guy at 3am next to your bed and he said: Are YoU asLeEP BAby GoRL?
    What do you do?

    • @_ViTU
      @_ViTU 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Turn to the other side and go back to sleep

    • @CT-se8vn
      @CT-se8vn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I don’t have time to care. I’ll just go back to sleep tbh

    • @paraco6083
      @paraco6083 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      I got a gun under my bed so I mean--

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Get Ezio fucking Auditore.

    • @ValD98
      @ValD98 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Excuse myself as I suddenly feel dehydrated.

  • @khfan4life365
    @khfan4life365 3 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    The two lead actors have great sexual and romantic chemistry. It’s a shame they were wasted for this movie. Regarding the birth control thing: in the book, Laura has a heart condition, which was why she didn’t use the pill.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeah. If the story had a better plot it'd be a great sexual drama.

  • @chinchilla0708
    @chinchilla0708 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    This movie completely traumatized me with it's stupidity. I'm so glad our queen is looking at it since she can handle it

  • @scottski02
    @scottski02 4 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    "Reading my Henry Cavill dom-fic"
    Me: I'm shocked. Shocked!........Well not that shocked.

  • @wolfhawk1999
    @wolfhawk1999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +305

    Stockholm Syndrome: The Movie

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      And people think Beauty and the Beast was Stockholm Syndrome: The Movie. Yes Belle was a prisoner but she didn't immediately fall in love with the Beast until he started to act more human.
      What does any other woman even see in this creep anyway?

    • @daniboy4153
      @daniboy4153 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@michaelstrong5383
      I'm literally thinking that as well. Like people say Beauty And The Beast is bad, but 365 Days...
      It's literally damn STOCKHOLM SYNDROME AS A MOVIE!!!

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@michaelstrong5383 Belle also knew her father would never survive being locked up so she willingly went with the Beast. It's more like walking into a dangerous situation in order to save someone's life.

    • @lilelo208
      @lilelo208 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I thought Stockholm was a myth.

    • @spudbuttowski
      @spudbuttowski 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@lilelo208 IT IS! It was debunked YEARS AGO that's the funny thing about all of this. Stockholm syndrome doesn't exist

  • @cartooncritique6625
    @cartooncritique6625 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Remember when people used to make the joke..."Still a better love story than Twilight", and then EL James wrote "50 Shades of Grey" which was somehow worse...and now here we are with THIS.
    Every time I think we've hit rock-bottom somebody throws me a shovel! -__-

  • @Gr3yHomie
    @Gr3yHomie 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    He seems like the type of guy you see in a horror film

  • @Maria-le5jp
    @Maria-le5jp 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I laughed SO hard when the music was supposed to be all passionate and the flight attendant is just CHOKING on his peen wtf ahhaha

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I legit thought it was from Brazzers. The song wasn't so bad but it has no place in that scene.

  • @chakiram5234
    @chakiram5234 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I’m glad you actually REACTED to the movie. Some people don’t react and just tell you what happened. And you had me genuinely laughing with your edits and jokes. You just earned a subscriber ❤️

  • @BlitsAzalisDash
    @BlitsAzalisDash 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Your videos bring me an indescribable amount of joy.

  • @kylamamber9080
    @kylamamber9080 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    It's labeled as a dark romance so it knows it's a toxic relationship. It's just a fantasy movie just like all of the other toxc romance movies. At least this one admits it.

  • @aconcept1579
    @aconcept1579 4 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    There’s people talking about reading fan fiction in this comment section.... I’ve found my people

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You ain't seen it until Sam Wilson gets fisted and pissed in by captain America

    • @aconcept1579
      @aconcept1579 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      blacktigerpaw1 that’s child’s play

    • @ValD98
      @ValD98 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@blacktigerpaw1 Pfft. Wait till you read Sauron x Morgoth hand fetish fics.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@ValD98 I believe I've actually seen a few. 'Dead Dove Do Not Eat' are real pieces of work.

    • @mahogania5536
      @mahogania5536 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@blacktigerpaw1 what the hell does that even mean?

  • @tomwills5231
    @tomwills5231 4 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    I honestly just shut off my brain though this film, until the obligatory jigsaw sex scene and babygorl.

  • @lisajay7099
    @lisajay7099 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Since someone said that he says "baby girl" with the same accent as Gru from Dispicable Me, I just can't

  • @MistyLunaLotus
    @MistyLunaLotus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    "Do you want to touch it?"
    "OF COURSE"
    I'm ded 💀🤣

  • @jackiescheid
    @jackiescheid 4 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    Girl drop the fanfic links please

  • @AFarmerCalledChicken
    @AFarmerCalledChicken 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I... I have a small chicken I call “baby girl” because she’s so tiny... it feels odd now because of this movie.

  • @RandomWriter9110
    @RandomWriter9110 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I was happily sipping a Starbucks Refresher when the "How...THE FUCK-!" part came on. Your reaction to it made me gag so hard that my father came into the room to ask if I was dying. Your humor almost legitimately killed me. Thank you! Hahahaha!

  • @disgruntledcashier503
    @disgruntledcashier503 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    As another TH-camr said, "Babygirl, if that's who's gonna find you, you better stay lost."

  • @molinagrn65
    @molinagrn65 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Legit, when I first saw the shower scene. When he grabbed her neck I made the “crrk snap-“ line from the Protector Review.

  • @forgottouseincognito808
    @forgottouseincognito808 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    You know what J, I was having a great day.
    Had a good morning workout with my friend, made myself pancakes, my dog finally figured out how to play fetch.
    Then you had to release this video. Knowing of this film's existance has filled me with such pain and anguish, and has drained all my hopes and dreams. I would have rather had my balls tethered to the tailgate of a Ford Tundra as it barrels down the Rocky Mountains than know this film exists.
    Actually calling it a film gives it too much credit. All in all, I wanna die, my day is ruined 10/10 will probably watch this video again, why do you do this to yourself.

  • @rachelzhou1590
    @rachelzhou1590 4 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    I'll give Twilight this (the first movie, anyway), it at least had one or two songs from its soundtrack that I liked.
    Unlike this travesty...

  • @lizotakuartist5117
    @lizotakuartist5117 4 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    The playground chanting during a sex scene right after they were talking about child sex trafficking. *HOW IS THIS SUPPOSE TO MAKE THE AUDIENCE FEEL EXACTLY?!*

  • @tultsi93
    @tultsi93 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    This movie should be renamed as "Baby Girl."

  • @joshuaokoro-sokoh2993
    @joshuaokoro-sokoh2993 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "I'm not gonna touch you without your permission"
    The number of times he has touched her without her permission in this review alone - EIGHT!!!!

  • @swagman2250
    @swagman2250 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I love how the songs are sung by the main actor

  • @dummyfish7331
    @dummyfish7331 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    i still go back to this video just to see the dad getting shot scene with the music playing. it’s so ill-fitting it has me snorting

  • @AnimaVox_
    @AnimaVox_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I actually think 'baby girl' can seem sweet when used in the context of a parent-child relationship. But I definitely agree that it appears to be a uniquely American idiom.

    • @crawlingboy
      @crawlingboy 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It is and I do not understand how it happened

  • @mrminecraftcubeable
    @mrminecraftcubeable 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    this would have been a good horror movie , great motive for a crazy person to kidnap a woman

  • @sierraj.1459
    @sierraj.1459 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    There is only one man who can say Babygirl and that is Derek Morgan to Garcia in Criminal Minds.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Octane from Apex Legends can get away with it too.

  • @caylajohnson8825
    @caylajohnson8825 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I've never watched you before but dear god I'm definitely not disappointed.

  • @kaifujimoto6143
    @kaifujimoto6143 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    Can make a drinking game on the amount of times he keeps saying "baby girl"

    • @kaykutcher2103
      @kaykutcher2103 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just knowing he'll say that makes me want to drink.

    • @asher8754
      @asher8754 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So you want me to become an alcoholic

  • @cottoncobbler499
    @cottoncobbler499 4 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    Honestly, I always love reading the dark romance genre, Stockholm syndrome, kidnapping, manipulations and all that. But it's always hard to translate it to a movie format. Most movies just want the superficial ,porn-fill scene. Where's the push and pull, the agony, the seductive voice in the heroine's voice to just submit, the reluctancy turning into an unwanted attraction then intense pining! The tenderness that emerged in the darkest moment! Wring us dry with the emotional stuff.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Or her intelligence?
      The shopping scenes should be replaced by mind games. It was done in Hannibal.

  • @megamage911
    @megamage911 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I'm honestly so happy you have the same visceral reaction of pure disgust over this movie's use of the term "baby girl" as I did, cuz god damn does that churn my stomach something fierce.

  • @cameliaberghean1300
    @cameliaberghean1300 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    What's the obsession in these rOmAnTiC books/movies of having the leads go through the motions of marriage and baby after only knowing each other for a couple months? I'm probably expecting too much, but some happy ending variation would be nice.

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I like slow burn stories, because then the chemistry is actually worked out between the characters.

  • @BSGA22
    @BSGA22 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    One day I will watch the Dracula review on this ancient tree trunk.

  • @veronicasilk8429
    @veronicasilk8429 4 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Funny how I'm almost as old as the Karen demographic, yet I literally got nothing out of this movie.
    Then again, it did lead to some pretty funny reaction vids.

  • @hollandfray4521
    @hollandfray4521 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    "You went from early 2010's Katy Perry to 2020 Katy Perry. That's a total downgrade"
    Me: Damn, that's and insult.

  • @DutchKirby
    @DutchKirby 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Why does this dude look like a weird mix of Frank Grillo and Ray William Johnson, with young Sylvester Stallone's mouth?

    • @lbierman21
      @lbierman21 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is so accurate haha

  • @FankaKM
    @FankaKM 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    As someone from Poland, I say sorry

  • @jojopinkjiggly7256
    @jojopinkjiggly7256 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    No one:
    Basically no one:
    No one normal in this universe:
    Sicilian Mafioso: ARE YOU LOST BABYGIRL???

  • @AlbertTheFinal
    @AlbertTheFinal 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    25:40 Actually killed me, it's been AGES since I laughed at a youtube video, and here you go. This fucking line delivery, good show JLongbone, good show.

  • @muffinpandas8034
    @muffinpandas8034 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    JL you are SO open abt ur sexual preferences on the internet😂😂

  • @looseflyingtoughts
    @looseflyingtoughts 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I never laughed so hard seeing a movie reaction. You're so funny, awesome video.

  • @violetprincessgreen8
    @violetprincessgreen8 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I haven't heard someone get that mad at the term "babygirl" since my last Tumblr deep dive, except you scold the name the absolute most valid reasoning

  • @salti9983
    @salti9983 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    26:32 Damn, I was really expecting to hear the Pulp Fiction music like in the Batwoman videos

  • @CalebHimself
    @CalebHimself 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I don't know why I'm surprised that movies like this are made and watched by actual human beings. There really is nothing to say other than we live in a society.

  • @RedRoseSeptember22
    @RedRoseSeptember22 4 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    I would've FARTED from being scared after the first "are you lost babygorl" lol...and I would've swift kicked him in the nuts and ran for my f*cking life lmfao!!! At least Christian Grey wasn't a creep and there was a story there. This creep is an actual member of the Mafia which isn't romantic at all...nooope. I got super pissed at the ending as well lol...I was like "WHAT?!"

    • @CT-se8vn
      @CT-se8vn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      RedRoseSeptember22 well. Grey was also a creep but he didn’t kidnap her at least.

    • @DoubleDeckerDave
      @DoubleDeckerDave 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      And there aren't even consequences for her leaving captivity... After 365 days, she can leave if she doesn't love her.

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The worst part about that ending is that there's suppose to be a sequel in the works.

    • @TheAutistWhisperer
      @TheAutistWhisperer 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@michaelstrong5383Well it's based on a trilogy of books, so I expect there will be more, oh goody! *slams head on desk*

    • @blacktigerpaw1
      @blacktigerpaw1 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@CT-se8vn Ana was a fucking dumbass. Grey gave her a list of kinks she could agree to but COULDN'T USE A LAPTOP

  • @feeltheillinois
    @feeltheillinois 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    the only time baby girl is cute is in the last of us when it's used in a genuine father-daughter context

  • @mirandasummerset
    @mirandasummerset 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "ArE YoU LoSt BaByGiRl"
    Me: gags in cringe
    Lol

  • @BrinaFlautist
    @BrinaFlautist 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The commentary is genuinely the funniest shit I have ever heard in my life
    PREGOOOOOOOO!!!!