Unicorn Store is TRASH

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 898

  • @JLongbone
    @JLongbone  5 ปีที่แล้ว +338

    I hate everything unicorn-related now
    ►Become a Patron!
    www.patreon.com/JLongbone OR
    ►Donate!
    www.paypal.me/BoneyLong
    Ps. I've featured an original song by one of my subscribers, ALTAR!
    Check out more of his music !
    th-cam.com/channels/YcdRhvE-gN_dVJOvGNoPdg.html

    • @banned7182
      @banned7182 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Keep it Real A flat ass is not one of them!

    • @banned7182
      @banned7182 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Keep it Real so what

    • @SlyfyGummy
      @SlyfyGummy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      JLongbone Her attitude only AND I MEAN ONLY WORKED in that film where she was literally drained of her hope, playfulness, strive, and amusement because of being trapped by a psycho and for to submit to a life of unfulfilled strife...........and give birth to a strong, willing, adventurous, hope filled 5yr old....
      ..

    • @TheRoflcer
      @TheRoflcer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I spotted this comment the moment after the 'I hate Everything about you credit' joke.

    • @izzymcgee2527
      @izzymcgee2527 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I heard that only virgins can see unicorns.

  • @DrShaym
    @DrShaym 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1740

    I want to make a movie called Unigorn, about a kid who finds and befriends a unicorn and uses it to get violent revenge on his bullies.

    • @HooDooBrown
      @HooDooBrown 5 ปีที่แล้ว +113

      That unicorn from, Cabin in the woods will do.

    • @absolutezerokyukyokami2288
      @absolutezerokyukyokami2288 5 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      That movie would turn out better then this lame fucking mess called unicorn store so go for it bro.

    • @superanimegamer01
      @superanimegamer01 4 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      I would seriously watch that.

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      REAL FAERIE TALES ARE NOT AS NICE AS YOU THINK
      Coming soon to your favorite distributor

    • @blastmako05
      @blastmako05 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Look up a Bicorn then.

  • @AuntySocialQueen
    @AuntySocialQueen 5 ปีที่แล้ว +864

    Brie Larson needs some serious character development as a human being...

    • @mischathemutt
      @mischathemutt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Spirit Warden No kidding, man

    • @jashloseher578
      @jashloseher578 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Brie Larson is a reptile.

    • @christopherkeroro723
      @christopherkeroro723 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I feel bad.. When she was in jumpstreet up to kingkong.. She was really likable and charismatic.. Something happened

    • @gasmask3647
      @gasmask3647 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Cliche anime development moments probably couldn't even save her 😔

    • @dromalloma2651
      @dromalloma2651 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      She has shown signs of competence as an actor, and might even have gone on to do great things in another universe, but I think all the fame went to her head.

  • @Normington
    @Normington 5 ปีที่แล้ว +789

    Well, this is what you wanted brie. Women of colour reviewing movies. And you're right, the result is fantastic! Thank you JLongbone!

    • @madamebkrt
      @madamebkrt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      LOL yes!!!

    • @mattc2306
      @mattc2306 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Well, she got her wish.

    • @elizabethlyons1066
      @elizabethlyons1066 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Someone needs to remind Brie that we all have color.

    • @moxiemaxie3543
      @moxiemaxie3543 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Are you an Afri-Amer woman?

  • @joinsideke
    @joinsideke 5 ปีที่แล้ว +644

    She seems so insufferable, both in character and out.

    • @anaverdenelli8223
      @anaverdenelli8223 4 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Bold of you to assume she can get out of herself for once, and you know, be an actor

    • @dromalloma2651
      @dromalloma2651 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@anaverdenelli8223 She seemed like a decently capable actor in Short Term 12, only to see her go on to do... this travesty.
      It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic.

    • @arctorusmedia
      @arctorusmedia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      She said she doesn't hate white men but kept acting like she does, and some of her old tweets before Captain Marvel were undeniably racist against white men. Much worse stuff than just saying she doesn't care about our opinions. She toned it down some when Disney brought her on to do Marvel.

    • @championboy4782
      @championboy4782 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      She used to have so much confidence, but then feminism hit and suddenly she got this 100 yesrd stare that she can't turn off to save her life and a passive aggresiveness thats practically stained with internal conflict.

  • @AlienBunnyRabbit
    @AlienBunnyRabbit 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1381

    I feel silly. I didnt realize this was a movie. I thought it was a weird website lol

    • @Dumbledoresarmy13
      @Dumbledoresarmy13 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Same

    • @ReDPsych01
      @ReDPsych01 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I did too

    • @lunapaper7028
      @lunapaper7028 5 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      It barely IS a movie as it is :P

    • @IceGoddessRukia
      @IceGoddessRukia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I'm so glad I wasn't the only one haha

    • @FormulaFanboy
      @FormulaFanboy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Either way, it's something you should never spend money on...

  • @AnimaVox_
    @AnimaVox_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว +333

    This movie looks really boring and pretentious. Its existence may be evidence that Brie's over-inflated sense of self-importance is finally starting to push her off the deep end.

    • @mousekateer627
      @mousekateer627 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      This movie is like a representation of parents' worst nightmare

    • @fabiomoreira1506
      @fabiomoreira1506 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Her character literally never evolves in any way. Everybody has to cater to her and give her stuff. In 15 years she still makes the same crappy drawings???? You assume she would become better at that??!

  • @grambo4436
    @grambo4436 5 ปีที่แล้ว +879

    Larson is really what is wrong with modern day feminism. They hate being criticized for their worst actions and yet bad attitude. And not even being accountable for themselves.

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 5 ปีที่แล้ว +90

      Even the "harassment" that came from the critics to her movie screams "You don't like it because it has a strong female character in it!"
      Ooooooor, the reason they don't like it could be that it's just awful. Did that come to mind, Brie?

    • @grambo4436
      @grambo4436 5 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      @@michaelstrong5383 It just makes the sane women look bad as well.

    • @arieswoodion1251
      @arieswoodion1251 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Agree.

    • @BanilyaGorilya
      @BanilyaGorilya 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Marvel’s Air Force human POC girlfriend had more strength than some amnesiac with god given alien powers.

    • @RanMouri82
      @RanMouri82 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Exactly. How can anyone speak up for the legitimate rights of women without respecting others? Short answer: they can't.

  • @LeaXoftheUnderworld2
    @LeaXoftheUnderworld2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1749

    What are you doing, JLongbone? This movie wasn’t made for you!

    • @minlow7831
      @minlow7831 5 ปีที่แล้ว +241

      It was made for Brie Larson by Brie Larson

    • @The_Ballo
      @The_Ballo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +67

      I think it was made for Brie Larson's fugly toe.
      No, the other fugly toe; not that one. No, no, the OTHER fugly toe.

    • @darrelsam419
      @darrelsam419 5 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      It was made for Brie Larson and first world middle class women who use Tumblr and Twitter too much.

    • @nicolojavier
      @nicolojavier 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@The_Ballo it was made by her toe to show to her other toes.

    • @jonm3915
      @jonm3915 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Using a gay "/s" to point out that you're being sarcastic kills any joke you're making.

  • @DrShaym
    @DrShaym 5 ปีที่แล้ว +530

    "Vaginal white noise" is a pretty good description of any feminist opinion.

    • @franciscrozierera
      @franciscrozierera 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Feminism is about equality, and please, don't say ,,We don't need feminism anymore, women are equal to men", because no, in some countries they're still not. If you see a woman saying all men are trash, she's not a feminist, so don't call her that. Feminazi? Maybe. But not a feminist.

    • @exquisitecorpse__
      @exquisitecorpse__ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      @@franciscrozierera
      Bitch
      It's a joke.

    • @1SpicyMeataball
      @1SpicyMeataball 4 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      "Vaginal white noise" or in scientific terms "Static Queefs".🤣

    • @Julia-yj9qk
      @Julia-yj9qk 4 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      idontwannaliveonthisplanetanymore modern, first world feminism has gone way beyond equality. It’s about special privilege for women and minorities

    • @joybox1918
      @joybox1918 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      @@franciscrozierera No, egalitarianism is about equality, feminism is about rights for females and ONLY females in a society where females are not treated fairly, which does not apply to first world countries. And spare us the "if someone does ________ they're not real feminists" bullshit, the no true scotsman fallacy is not a good defense for any ideology, let alone feminism.

  • @1SpicyMeataball
    @1SpicyMeataball 5 ปีที่แล้ว +360

    Magic Samuel Jackson with tinsel hair: "...bake it cookies"
    Arnold Schwarzenegger: "Put that cookie down, now!"

    • @ilmarsbelevics
      @ilmarsbelevics 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      jesus you caught me out of guard still laughing

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      2:48
      XD

  • @Etherman7
    @Etherman7 5 ปีที่แล้ว +388

    Did....did Brie Larson try to pull off Manic Pixie Girl? That trope barely worked for the girls that kind of fit it, much less middle-aged soccer mom in denial.

    • @porpoisstanley5209
      @porpoisstanley5209 5 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      Brie is actually 29, so not yet middle aged (45ish) but I see your confusion as she does fit the ‘soccer-mom can I speak to your manager’ type.

    • @Zoopadoopa23
      @Zoopadoopa23 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      She did pull it off once, I think? In scott pilgrim, I believe?

    • @Zoopadoopa23
      @Zoopadoopa23 5 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      WAIT NEVER MIND SHE PLAYED ENVY ADAMS! GOD SHE PLAYED THE CHARACTER PERFECTLY BECAUSE THAT IS HER IN A NUTSHELL AKA A FRIGID BITCH

    • @Etherman7
      @Etherman7 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@Zoopadoopa23 wow, I did not remember her being in that but it makes so much sense now. She wasn't acting at all

    • @darrelsam419
      @darrelsam419 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      Manic Pixie Dream Girls only work for younger women, or at least women who look young. Brie may be in her 20s but she looks like a 40 year old wine mom who yells at Starbucks employees, she does not fit this role at all.

  • @saulothebebop2581
    @saulothebebop2581 5 ปีที่แล้ว +593

    Brie Larson and Tessa Thompson are the pinnacle of toxic feminism.

    • @beagreen2333
      @beagreen2333 5 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      Tessa isn't that bad I like Tessa

    • @darrelsam419
      @darrelsam419 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      First world radical feminism at its finest.

    • @c.c.l.9139
      @c.c.l.9139 5 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      @@beagreen2333 And Valkyrie is actually likable despite being an aimless drunk at the start of her story.

    • @pastel_gardens9896
      @pastel_gardens9896 5 ปีที่แล้ว +109

      nikolai 1939 not all feminism! There is a lot of countries where women have little to no rights. I think all people should have feminist ideas just not the radical ideas. We have equality but we should still be proud to be a woman and men should be proud to be men. There are many places that desperately need feminism, and feminists here should really focus on that rather than some asshole cat calling them. Cause it's not a representation of all men, I know that. But I am a feminist that actively tries to raise awareness for the countries that need real feminism. There is many toxic feminists, but it's not all of us😊.

    • @jenneacubero1036
      @jenneacubero1036 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Saulothebebop Don't forget Zoe Quinn!

  • @blankadams3120
    @blankadams3120 5 ปีที่แล้ว +395

    'She looks like a'... I forget what you said, but my first thought was: "She looks like a car wash brush..."

    • @avionbruce9749
      @avionbruce9749 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@praxisarms103 the joke is nobody cares about woman march

    • @rosesongoku6980
      @rosesongoku6980 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Bomb Rush Blush.

    • @KyleEvra
      @KyleEvra 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      rainbow car wash brush 🌈🖌️

  • @user-ut7kx2jw3j
    @user-ut7kx2jw3j 5 ปีที่แล้ว +330

    you should also do tall girl. it's such a piece of garbage i was so shocked something this stupid got released lmao netflix keeps surprising me

    • @mima_piedade
      @mima_piedade 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      😔 I wanted to watch that... is it really as bad as unicorn store?

    • @vizalloteafilter
      @vizalloteafilter 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@mima_piedade saaame i was interested in it!

    • @juanpablorobayo9891
      @juanpablorobayo9891 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      So like, I've known girls in my life that legit wish they were shorter and it makes me sad, cuz I can't imagine hating yourself because you're 'too tall'. Like how fucked up do people have to be to mock people based on height?
      That being said your comment makes me worry because now I'm hoping that "Tall Girl", the movie made for tall girls, isn't as big of a trash fire as you're implying?
      ...Is it as big of a trash fire as you're implying? Would the girls I met in middle school and high school roll their eyes?

    • @memedreams8558
      @memedreams8558 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Juan Pablo Robayo I mean the main actress was relentlessly bullies by Abby Lee when she was on Dance Moms and was kicked off the show because she was tall. Abby said some pretty disgusting things about her body so I would imagine she was traumatized by that.

    • @juanpablorobayo9891
      @juanpablorobayo9891 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@memedreams8558 thats why im legit hoping tall girl isnt as bad as this commenter said, the idea that people hate themselves for being too tall (and conversely for being too short) is depressing to me, and I'm hoping we've been able to make a good movie about it in 2019?

  • @Endymion766
    @Endymion766 4 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    You looked stressed.
    Here's a large horse that costs thousands of dollars a year to care for.
    But at least it's pretty.

  • @slmndw
    @slmndw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +449

    Brie Larson's characters reliance on "negro for her ego" (I love that line) side characters BOTHER me to my core! I purposefully refuse to watch Unicorn Store because I would rather support your roasting of it!

    • @AllisonMiller30
      @AllisonMiller30 5 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      It's still the token black guy even though she claims she's woke.

    • @darrelsam419
      @darrelsam419 5 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      She claims she's woke yet needs a token minority character in her films to "help" her.

    • @julianecarvalho4711
      @julianecarvalho4711 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      "But the chance of a woman of color critique your movie is too low..." So why isnt the protagonist a woman of color???

    • @fabiomoreira1506
      @fabiomoreira1506 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      IMO the biggest problem is they stand so far apart with Zero chemistry, smooches, touching, etc...

    • @khfan4life365
      @khfan4life365 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I feel bad that Sam Jackson got dragged into this. Poor guy.

  • @kingbash6466
    @kingbash6466 5 ปีที่แล้ว +701

    Finally, our queen is back.

    • @nesmario123
      @nesmario123 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      *black

    • @etps4444
      @etps4444 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      😂

    • @Til_I_Collapse
      @Til_I_Collapse 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      She's our queeeeeeeeeen to beeeee! 👸

    • @mortemssoul6342
      @mortemssoul6342 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Back again guess who’s back tell a friend

    • @insensitive919
      @insensitive919 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Slaaaaaaay

  • @MauLerYT
    @MauLerYT 4 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    I love how you just give up on the plot summary because the film is so shit haha

  • @michaelstrong5383
    @michaelstrong5383 5 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    "You know why they call it the cockpit, right?"
    Even as an MCU fan myself, I rolled my eyes at that line. It's right up there with "Devil's Anus" from Thor: Ragnarok as the stupidest dialogue in the franchise.

    • @dromalloma2651
      @dromalloma2651 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ...do I want to know the context behind a line about the Devil's anus?

    • @dromalloma2651
      @dromalloma2651 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Imaru Lewis I didn't have much in the way of expectations for a joke, and now I'm a little sad at the payoff. But thank you for explaining! :)

  • @michaelstrong5383
    @michaelstrong5383 5 ปีที่แล้ว +190

    There are actors who can be great directors. Clint Eastwood, Jordan Peele, and Ben Affleck to name a few.
    Brie Larson isn't one of them.

    • @jamstonjulian6947
      @jamstonjulian6947 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I mean, I feel sorry for her. She can't act either.

    • @memedreams8558
      @memedreams8558 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Jamston Julian she’s good in some stuff, but I feel like now she doesn’t even try to act and just plays herself. Kind of like Emma Watson.

    • @Guinnessdrnkr1234
      @Guinnessdrnkr1234 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Don't forget Danny DeVito.
      Death to smoochie was such an underrated movie.

  • @SSRheum
    @SSRheum 4 ปีที่แล้ว +56

    Brie: You cant criticize me youre a ma-
    JL: im a woman
    Brie: ..... *Sweats nervously*

  • @supergingerr
    @supergingerr 4 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    She is the type of art student who makes the "my teacher hated me" video, simply because they don't follow the assignment.

  • @DaywalkerNL94
    @DaywalkerNL94 5 ปีที่แล้ว +338

    You know, combining two of your ideas, a movie about a childish weird chick needing to grow up and a boring stuck-up boss/colleague needing to learn to relax at the same time, could have been a decent chick flick...

    • @kerrychristensen7204
      @kerrychristensen7204 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      🤷 It really would have worked that way. An off beat quirky comedy, kinda like Stranger Than Fiction.

    • @darrelsam419
      @darrelsam419 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      It could have been a nice, heartwarming movie, but instead it was written by Brie Larson.

    • @bloodcottoncandy1514
      @bloodcottoncandy1514 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thanks but I'm sticking to 13 going on 30.

    • @kerrychristensen7204
      @kerrychristensen7204 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@bloodcottoncandy1514 That *is* a good one!

    • @bloodcottoncandy1514
      @bloodcottoncandy1514 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@kerrychristensen7204 Only the best

  • @arnold20139
    @arnold20139 5 ปีที่แล้ว +158

    Now that she did Unicorn Store, can't wait for her to do the obligatory "Aladdin is Trash" video.
    Lol 🍸

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      That or "Lion King is Trash". I'd watch that regardless.

    • @viomomo
      @viomomo 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ya know? I actually liked Aladdin. I mean taste is subjective but unlike other disney remakes they've been pushing lately, the cast in aladdin hold their own and it doesn't feel forced at all. Definitely surprised me

    • @fabiomoreira1506
      @fabiomoreira1506 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@viomomo plot hole just ask for more genies. Problem solved. XD

    • @championboy4782
      @championboy4782 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      "I won't be Sai-lenced, no one keep me quiet-" - Obligatory song scene later- we never see her do anything useful ever again.

  • @marywinchester1322
    @marywinchester1322 4 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    "He has tincle in his afro so he's a MAGICAL NEGRO!" 😆😂 I'M DEAD!

  • @bunnyattic0009
    @bunnyattic0009 4 ปีที่แล้ว +92

    Brie: I did my stunts because that that's what everyone did
    Hayden Christensen and Ewan McGregor spent A MONTH going stunts for one of the greatest star wars battles EVER but you just waltz on in thinking you're SOOO special- uuuuuugh 😒

    • @qtarokujo3694
      @qtarokujo3694 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      and also Gal Gadot, Scarlett Johannson, Angelina Jolie, Gina Carano, Daisy Ridley, Margot Robbie, etc.
      so yeah, you're not that special, Brie. not even for a woman.

    • @user-sp2jg9rx8r
      @user-sp2jg9rx8r 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      They spend months.

    • @stroud9208
      @stroud9208 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Even Anakin was on higher ground than this bitch

  • @laughingkuroo2721
    @laughingkuroo2721 5 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    I'm pretty sure that Brie Larson was good in Scott Pilgrim Vs The World is because that's her legit personality at this point.

    • @burntgrahamcracker2866
      @burntgrahamcracker2866 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Who was she in that?

    • @kabedon4503
      @kabedon4503 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@burntgrahamcracker2866 She was Envy Adams

    • @burntgrahamcracker2866
      @burntgrahamcracker2866 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@kabedon4503 ah thank you not a good sign she left no impression on me

    • @carynwoods9677
      @carynwoods9677 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@kabedon4503 WHAT!? I had no idea! And looking back on it, she was just as emotionless in that movie as she was in everything else she's done....but was somehow more likeable as a villain than as a protagonist...?

    • @wilmagregg3131
      @wilmagregg3131 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@carynwoods9677 because in real life and comics shes more of a villian then a hero

  • @miep3934
    @miep3934 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Wait, If "A wrinkle in time" was "made for Black women"...Is Brie Larson saying there is a different kind of good for different races and genders? Isn't that kinda like making an entrance exam more "Asian friendly" by making it more math centric?

  • @izzymcgee2527
    @izzymcgee2527 5 ปีที่แล้ว +222

    I heard that only virgins can see unicorns.

    • @memedreams8558
      @memedreams8558 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Seems to add up

    • @izzymcgee2527
      @izzymcgee2527 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@memedreams8558 I don't know if that's actually true according to the myth, but it's still an easy joke. :P

    • @politicallyincorrectthrowa6384
      @politicallyincorrectthrowa6384 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @Isabel Brokaw Wasn't it only virgins could ride on unicorns?

    • @izzymcgee2527
      @izzymcgee2527 4 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @@politicallyincorrectthrowa6384 Not sure. But it would give them at least SOMETHING to ride. :P

    • @politicallyincorrectthrowa6384
      @politicallyincorrectthrowa6384 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @Isabel Brokaw *looks into the camera like he's on the office* Take a like.

  • @spFOX-pz3fx
    @spFOX-pz3fx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    She wasn’t always like this.
    She was great in Scott Pilgrim and 21 jump street.
    I wonder what happened?

    • @burntgrahamcracker2866
      @burntgrahamcracker2866 5 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Ego

    • @michaelstrong5383
      @michaelstrong5383 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      I even loved her in Short Term 12 and Room, but then she got way too political.

    • @LadySquiffington
      @LadySquiffington 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      She was in Scott pilgrim? I do not remember her at all

    • @HellaFuckingKawaii
      @HellaFuckingKawaii 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@LadySquiffington
      She's Envy

    • @greathoundii6142
      @greathoundii6142 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Post 2016 election and feminism happened?

  • @naterivers6107
    @naterivers6107 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I am utterly convinced Brie Larson black mailed Samuel L. Jackson. There is no other way he would have accepted this with out being threatened into it.

  • @jamessilentddjelal7748
    @jamessilentddjelal7748 5 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    More movie reviews plsss I beg you!

  • @Adorni
    @Adorni 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    No, you know what? You know what? I can't let this slide anymore; the "You know why they call it a cockpit, dont'cha?" line *isn't that bad.* I could actually see an army guy doing that to an army woman as a way of hazing. The way you make that work, however, is that you have Carol grin in an easy-going manner and fire right back with something along the lines of "why, did you never figure out how yours worked?"
    To understand what I'm talking about, Predator opens up with a bunch of Manly Men with Army Experience taking the piss out of each other, because that's how these people bond. Instead of making it a stupid "Oh, he's being such a misogynist" moment, make it a bonding moment to make the character more likable. SHOW the scene for what it is, an Army Jock trying to throw around his swagger, she shows she's a big girl who doesn't give a shit about what he thinks, and then the two laugh and get closer. THAT would have been the proper damn way to do that scene. By having her respond with "oh gosh, what is this creepo doing?" she makes herself look like far more of a thin-skinned weakling who thinks everyone with a dick is out to get her. That is not how "strong women" act, FFS.

  • @donttalktomeyoureannoying8736
    @donttalktomeyoureannoying8736 5 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    Love the use of Three Days Grace in this 😂😂😂

  • @ryankelley5160
    @ryankelley5160 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    this reminds me of my favorite line, "This movie wasn't made for you." This shit goes for so much of hollywood's movies. I would thoroughly enjoy learning who any of these movies are made for. Isn't the common theme of most of these movies a sad attempt at female empowerment, only to end up saying that men still hold all the power? Like who is really holding all the cards in both captain marvel and the unicorn store? The female protagonist? Or the man who is literally telling her what to do and how to do it?

    • @FreakyFriday4Phaggs
      @FreakyFriday4Phaggs 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Shit Nigma, you're right. think she just wants to fuck samJack?

  • @jenneacubero1036
    @jenneacubero1036 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Just realized something about Brie's office..."presentation"...knowing how glitter is a pain to clean up (especially from a carpet floor), you really got to feel bad for the maintenance workers.

  • @fuzzwobble
    @fuzzwobble 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    You forgot to mention that she was 86'd because she was given a task to show she understood a specific art technique, and instead splashed paint around like a toddler and made crazy faces.

  • @TaoScribble
    @TaoScribble 4 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    "A child wrote this movie"
    Well, Larson acts like she stuck at the age of 15 *_in real life,_* so.

  • @DoctorInk20
    @DoctorInk20 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    If *this* was the Last Unicorn, I'd drop it with a crossbow.

  • @stephenwilson9776
    @stephenwilson9776 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Sam Jackson 1994: "Great vengeance and furrrrrious anger!".... 2019: Pink suited- glitter haired unicorn seller who's side hustle is being the conscience for a white-guilt ridden woman sourfaced and confrontational over her own pretty blonde whiteness all the time.

  • @octobobo99
    @octobobo99 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Is that the Cuphead soundtrack I hear???
    Man, you're just overflowing with good taste

  • @zwleathers
    @zwleathers 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    “A negro for her ego” i love that, its PERFECT

  • @NormieNerddom
    @NormieNerddom 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "You look like a women's march pinata." God bless you and your descendants JL.

  • @fredrickbanks1966
    @fredrickbanks1966 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Imagine if the ending was just Brie brutally killing the unicorn and drinking its blood to gain immortality

  • @DaywalkerNL94
    @DaywalkerNL94 5 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    If you want to see a movie about a childlike loser growing up a little bit thanks to a magical place and some weird half magical mentor watch The Librarian. A cheap TV movie about a nerd becoming a slightly less embarrassing nerdy Indiana Jones.
    If you want to see Sam Jackson in weird costumes doing weird shit watch The Spirit. It's stupid as fuck but it's fun.

    • @jenneacubero1036
      @jenneacubero1036 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Dr Caramel What about Jim Henson's "Labyrinth"?

    • @mcitnoshharrington7270
      @mcitnoshharrington7270 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      The Librarian actually has a whole tv moive trilogy. Plus a three (or maybe two i forget) season tv show. The nerdy guy does develop a good bit by the time its all wrapped.

    • @DaywalkerNL94
      @DaywalkerNL94 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@jenneacubero1036 good pick. I just look at the Labyrinth like an entire separate dimension rather than a place

    • @jenneacubero1036
      @jenneacubero1036 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@DaywalkerNL94 Good point.

    • @curleyqreviews9793
      @curleyqreviews9793 ปีที่แล้ว

      The Librarian and the sequels are good. Tv show was alright

  • @someidiotmetalhead
    @someidiotmetalhead 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    "don't ask questions about surrealism!" nah, stories are supposed to have internal logic even if they're weird shit. that's why South Park worked so well for so long.

  • @Darkcyndermaya
    @Darkcyndermaya 5 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    Here's the thing about Brie Larson; if she wasn't so political about everything. I'd like her. She lets political things go to her head.
    Yeah this movie is pretty bad but I'd rather watched Captain Marvel. Also; the cat is important to Captain Marvel even in her comics.
    Edit: Also; this movie could have been rewritten to be good..but they hired people who don't care.

    • @lucapeyrefitte6899
      @lucapeyrefitte6899 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      DuskCynderMorgana if we could make her back to her child actress days then it would be nice cuz no politics

    • @qtarokujo3694
      @qtarokujo3694 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      same about Captain Marvel. at least there's a bit of effort and sense in the story. Carol is a more believable character than Kit (though just as annoying).

  • @abrahemsamander3967
    @abrahemsamander3967 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    My god, what did they do to Samuel Jackson? He’s freaking creepy in this movie.

  • @TheAutistWhisperer
    @TheAutistWhisperer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    You just don't get it Miss JLogbone, this movie was made for people with zero taste!

  • @thewitchbasket
    @thewitchbasket 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thank GOD. I thought it was just me who thought this movie was bad... Nothing in it seems real. The character interactions all seem so inorganic and the dialogue was written really weirdly. I hated the main character the most though... It was impossible to relate to her struggle and want her to succeed because she's an insufferably spoiled brat who was constantly going "I'm not wrong, everyone else is! Everyone should change how they act to accommodate my own selfish wants!" That's what I hated most, honestly.

  • @rebekahmelendez4036
    @rebekahmelendez4036 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Even the unicorn is done with her crap... If I'm not mistaken, a horse's ears laid back means "I don't like this, back off or I'll bite"... But correct me if I'm wrong...

  • @JustGeorgeRay
    @JustGeorgeRay 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    This looks like a more embarrassing performance from an Oscar-Winner than Halle Berry in Catwoman.

    • @AnimaVox_
      @AnimaVox_ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      At least Catwoman was bad enough to be kind of funny. This movie just looks boring.

    • @JustGeorgeRay
      @JustGeorgeRay 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@AnimaVox_ True that!

    • @qtarokujo3694
      @qtarokujo3694 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@AnimaVox_ and unlike Brie, Halle accepted the criticism that it sucked and even accepted her Razzie award for "Worst Actress" with sarcastic pride

    • @fabiomoreira1506
      @fabiomoreira1506 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@qtarokujo3694 me if i got a razzie: Hey at least i got a trophy you freaking PEASANTS!!! XS

    • @daniboy4153
      @daniboy4153 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That speech from Halle Berry will always be iconic

  • @Maddie-dw2wq
    @Maddie-dw2wq 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This could have worked actually. If the writing and characters were tweaked. Like maybe Brie (I don't care what the main character's name is) could have experienced something traumatic in her adulthood or maybe just finds adulthood very stressful and depressing, which would be very relatable in this day and age where adulthood is seen as such. She would only find happiness in her childhood and reminisce on some of her good memories where things were much simpler and innocent and more happy and free. This makes her worthy of the unicorn, a magical manifestation of purity and childhood. And for the first time in years, it made her happy. She would live her life, while by night having magical adventures with the unicorn. This made her happy. Happy enough to get out of her depression, find another job that's good for her, find herself some good friends or a boyfriend, but it's only when she keeps growing up and more mature and starts developing a life all on her own, she starts to realize that she doesn't need the unicorn to be happy anymore and it fades away, but she still holds all those memories of it dear to her. Because in the end, we're all kids inside, some of us just forget about that. I don't know. .Just spit balling here.

    • @mattc2306
      @mattc2306 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You know, I think I've seen that before.
      It's called Love, Chunibyou, and Other Delusions.

  • @AnubisBlackGamez
    @AnubisBlackGamez 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    "Bake it cookies" i died at that part 😂😂🤣

  • @Veryfreshveryflourish24
    @Veryfreshveryflourish24 5 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    *Sees unicorn store review*
    Me: Ah the promised day has finally come.
    Seriously i have been waiting for this.

  • @alexpare2030
    @alexpare2030 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    What makes this even more cliche is the addition of her home movies. I study at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago and compiling old home movies for a project is beyond overdone.

  • @frostingfluff
    @frostingfluff 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    This sounds like a movie I'd make.
    I'm 13.

  • @kerrychristensen7204
    @kerrychristensen7204 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    2:34 Oh, my gahd. I'm awful. 😂🤦 What popped into my head was 'Black Elton John'.

  • @seandoyle296
    @seandoyle296 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Do a review of Bismati Blues, it's a maelstrom of cringe.
    Short synopsis: Brie Larson plays white savior to an Indian village.

  • @Hanyusha
    @Hanyusha 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    "It's so weird that this film about me, for me and by me has so much things I can relate to!"

  • @wopey3988
    @wopey3988 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    “Until her parents decide to put her in the funny farm” 💀💀💀💀

  • @timothymatthews7028
    @timothymatthews7028 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    1:04
    How are Brie Larson's eyes are more terrifying than any serial killer.

  • @LissaChelle9002
    @LissaChelle9002 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Someone should tell Brie that Zooey Deschanel did the Manic Pixie Dream Girl thing better.

  • @arctorusmedia
    @arctorusmedia 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I have never seen a commercial about periods or tampons with a man in it.

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      RIGHT?!
      XD

  • @hazelox7971
    @hazelox7971 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I want to be gifted the title of Magical Negro.

  • @COSun25
    @COSun25 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Welcome back Queen!!

  • @SimonCoulton
    @SimonCoulton 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Every time I see The Big Hit scenes in your vids it makes me smile.

  • @juanpablorobayo9891
    @juanpablorobayo9891 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Art student: *Gets axed from art school and has to go back to live with her parents*
    Art student: *Receives mysterious letter telling her to go to a mysterious strange place even though she has no idea what it is*
    Art student: "Eh, might as well, it's not like I'm *busy* or anything right now...."
    Art student: *Cries as she gets ready to go out to fill her time with anything, literally anything*
    EDIT: I'm sorry did she actually say "When you make a movie that's a love letter to women of color, there's an insanely low chance women of color will see it and review it" ???
    ...I didn't realize Netflix could sense if you fit the category of POC and woman simultaneously. Man, how far humanity has come!/s

    • @pontiusporcius8430
      @pontiusporcius8430 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      If you want a good pair of movies about a rejected art student proving everyone wrong, watch rise of evil.

  • @AaronTharpProduction
    @AaronTharpProduction 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    “This movie kinda made me regret...living” lol

  • @cheshirerose2001
    @cheshirerose2001 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I remember someone on DA was saying that Brie Larson was "joking" what she was saying about white men and that all the hate she got was unnecessary. He even claimed DC fans were harassing her.
    Clearly that guy has no idea what he is talking about

  • @gunja556
    @gunja556 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Brie Larson: your dream is worst than mine, now gib money!

  • @austin9568AuraMasterDX
    @austin9568AuraMasterDX 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    *Throws glitter everywhere*

  • @cookiemocher388
    @cookiemocher388 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The idea of unicorn store isn't bad, a girl who pushes people away cause she thinks they hate her and stuck in childish delusions and going on an emotional journey to find out living an adult life and seeing that people care about you and you can stop wanting something that isn't real and become a responsible, sassy but kind hearted, strong woman who'd gonna make her life better than a unicorn, IF WRITTEN WELL, that's the key, I went on but I think it could work if done right

  • @becky3983
    @becky3983 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Do we ever find out whether she knows why they call it the cockpit? Aviation borrowed the term from the cockpits on sailing ships, so called because it was where the coxswain steered the ship. From being the room on a sailing ship from which she is steered, it was only natural to extend it to the room from which an aeroplane is steered. Which you would think that someone in the airforce, who has worked for many years for the airforce, would know.

  • @jamstonjulian6947
    @jamstonjulian6947 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I know Sam will basically star in anything but... damn, this was a rough one.

  • @perrilewis180
    @perrilewis180 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Brie Larson just puts out bad vibes. She has no joy. And I never wanted to strangle a movie more than I have with Unicorn Store. Oh no this brat who doesn't do what she's supposed to do gets mad when she's rejected because she's a weirdo who doesn't seem to be mature enough.

  • @oneofdanhowellschins
    @oneofdanhowellschins 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I’ve been WAITING for this!! Ahhh! So glad you’re back queen!!! 😩❤️❤️

  • @ericm.rivera9511
    @ericm.rivera9511 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Even Wolves of wall street had better character development

  • @milmil5350
    @milmil5350 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This was hilarious and worth the wait. *I hated unicorns* after the My Little Pony / Bronie craze. The MLP p0rn on p0rnhub, Pinterest, and dA made them irredeemable in my eyes. Now I'm just content I'll never like unicorns again 💖😊

  • @RogueFox2185
    @RogueFox2185 5 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    I honestly think this movie is worse than Captain Marvel which is something I didn’t think was possible, Brie has made watching paint dry more engaging than watching her try to act in a film.

  • @jacobschiller4486
    @jacobschiller4486 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    2:30 Flashbacks to the "Magical Negro Fight" sketch from Key and Peele.

  • @officerbucktuddrussel394
    @officerbucktuddrussel394 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    "his the first one to put a stick in a box" Was that a joke? I'm legitimately curious whether that was a sex joke or a jab a modern art.

    • @hideakiakio6698
      @hideakiakio6698 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Maybe it's a dick in a box joke.

  • @lumialite3442
    @lumialite3442 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    your video editing skill is next level. you got a new fan! love your content

  • @helixwither2837
    @helixwither2837 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Weekend Warrior, EFAP, JLongbone...
    The slaying Trinity of unicorn-lover Bore Larson.

  • @g1234538
    @g1234538 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    "According to who?
    Bausch and Lomb!"
    god dammit that one got me good, fantastic video J!

  • @hornedskullasmr7811
    @hornedskullasmr7811 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Remember when Brie Larson did music? I don’t.

  • @sleepingbear4557
    @sleepingbear4557 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Omg you're my favourite channel on TH-cam ❤

  • @chaz9808
    @chaz9808 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I find it so strange how many media sites are trying to protect Brie Larson from any kind of criticism

  • @dostatochno
    @dostatochno 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I just wanted to say I just got around to really delving into your channel since hearing you on EFAP and I really enjoy it. You're very incisive and come at some things from angles I hadn't thought of or seen others take and I really appreciate that. The editing and production are really good too.

  • @ReDPsych01
    @ReDPsych01 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I feel like this movie would have been alittle redeemable if she would have wrote kit a first a brat that is selfish and annoying then a moment when she uses the "god complex" she gave kit the love intrest doesn't want her, then her parents are disappointed and basically kit is at her all time low then Samuels character gives her the "your a selfish brat" speech . So similar to a Chrismas Carol did with scrooge. Ik this is cliched but i think the movie would be alittle more passable idk.
    I enjoy your review though it was fun to watch😊

    • @mcitnoshharrington7270
      @mcitnoshharrington7270 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Itd be cliched but at least itd be some growth and actual story pacing rather then just...void.

    • @ReDPsych01
      @ReDPsych01 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mcitnoshharrington7270 i agree cause i feels like she didn't really own up to her actions

  • @aimeemarshall1036
    @aimeemarshall1036 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    At least Bri actually changed expressions throughout this movie ..tried acting..right

  • @LPTV84
    @LPTV84 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Is it me or do a lot of these stars have the same agent? I'm just curious how so often they end up in the same films together.

  • @joelklimkowski1643
    @joelklimkowski1643 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Brie Larson is Rian Johnson, with a bigger forehead and stronger jawline.

  • @Xanegoh
    @Xanegoh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I figured it out. Cheese Theft is Chloe from "Life is Strange". Self-entitled, hipster millennials who think they know better than everyone else, and believe they're owed something just for existing.

  • @613harbinger316
    @613harbinger316 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "'Can I speak to your manager' Id"
    LOL. Poetry!

  • @demontamerbf18
    @demontamerbf18 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Brie Larson is the embodiment of everything I hate on a woman

  • @Guinnessdrnkr1234
    @Guinnessdrnkr1234 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Here I was minding my own business thinking I wasn't going to hear the phrase "vaginal White Noise" today. now I can't stop laughing

  • @Justin_Anvil
    @Justin_Anvil 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love how actors always pour a table spoon of coffee into their mugs.

  • @PeterParker-el6eg
    @PeterParker-el6eg 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm crying. JLongbone, where have you been?! We've missed you?