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Sure. Lewis I heard you here and want to be friends since I have gone through some of the emotions you went through and want to connect. Message me back if this message of mine in some way connects to you!
Because u dealt with narc before that's y u don't tell everything to anyone again because u want to be aware and be careful(so that makes u a narc now from 3rd speaker's professional point of view). Everyone end up being a little narc.....
A genuine love relationship does NOT help the narcissist to become a better person. It helps them to become a better narcissist. Then it slowly destroys their partner. Loving a narcissist is the absolute worst mistake anyone can ever make in life.
The professional interviewed in this video who stated this really made me raised an eyebrow. I was shocked. Narcissism is not treatable, and a “genuine love relationship” isn’t going to change them at all.
I experienced the grandiose/malignant narcissist. Absolutely horrible After I finally had the ability to walk away after 7 months I COULD NOT believe how I contorted my self to please him and the values and integrity I had. No one would believe me of the hell spell I was under.
Boundaries aren't enough. I've tried no contact for a while, low contact, compromising, tough love, asshole back, everything.. it doesn't work! No contact is the only solution for me after being sporadically pushed around too often with just enough plausible deniability from them
I dated a sociopath who wouldn't even care if you had a boundary up. Say you told them you like Pepsi and wanted a Pepsi. Well they would hear nothing of it and hand you a sprite. And when you say "I don't want this" They say "Wow, I was just trying to be nice, that hurt my feelings." So you apologize because they make it seem like they tell you they did an oops or it was a joke. It wasn't a joke though or a mistake.
My sister does the lips pursed thing, especially when I was blocking her from taking something she wanted, or when I greeted her with "Hi! Beautiful day!". It's usually followed with the feeling they want to rip your throat out....
My ex husband would discourage me from going to college and bettering myself. It scared him, he also said I would leave him since I could take care of myself 🙄
She is very happy with herself. She is very happy with her master of terms and regurgitating information so to pinpoints all the information she wants to pinpoint.
I think you should have a Narcissist on your show. He’s on TH-cam. His name is Mental Healness He’s very open about everything. You should check him out.
confident and empathic - am I that unicorn Dr.Ramani mentions? gosh I'd love her to poke at me. I know I could learn so much about myself from her. I mean I already have - she's amazing and doing such great work!!
@@AGreaterDane haha yeah I share those feelings - I’m typically a rather humble human; yet I’ve been learning to embrace and own my power. I feel like this was one of those acts of ownership..
There is only one way to be and that is my authentic self. It's too hard to be anything else. I can try to be fake or manipulative but I'm too honest and then I'm like dam why did I say that I just gave too much info that I was not gonna do. Darn I'm not good at wearing a mask.
Me too..I should keep it shift up..but why, it's my Truth...being told that I look like a prostitute for zero then told to stop crying, and he goes in the place like no biggy, then he is drinking and driving like a nut case doing wheelies, a Father of 2....I took lie detector tests proved who was the victim and who played GAMES...Passed 2 lie detector tests...and the people who enabled him to hurt me have no shame..I got attacked by his sister, and I walked away.....held my composure...said your brother obviously has MENTAL ISSUES...
I think it's important to note some people arnt toxic you're just allergic to them. I mean as people you're both perfectly well socialised you just too extremely differ on the 5 dimensions of personality and that courses you to believe each other is toxic when you're just oil and water- for example- 1 person is super disagreeable, conscientious and low is neuroticism and the other is super agreeable, low is conscientiousness and high in neuroticism. Person A is going to find person B pathetic, whinny, not holding their weight, careless and over sensitive and person B is going to find person A intolerant, high maintence, stubborn and tyrannical. Neither of them are bad people, just so differently and incompatible on a clinical level that you have a toxic dynamic between 2 perfectly stable people.
I used to give her many kisses all over her face and neck, and one day she did the same to me but I felt that she wasn’t feeling the emotion that goes along with the action and it made me feel disgusted, just going through the motions without the authentic feeling, its manipulative, she just mirrored me.
According to Dr Ramani, practically everyone in the elderly generation of Korea are narcissists. There are just too many narcissists in this culture. So hard to meet a wholesome, self actualized people .
Hey Lewis! I do acknoledge you for broadcasting and interviewing so many incredibly interesting women. May I suggest another interview- partner for you? Her name is Stefanie Stahl and she is Germany's most famous psychotherapist. She has written some groundbreaking books that deserve to be known all over the world. I'd really like to see her on your show, too. And I think you would have a great time interviewing her because she is also very funny, entertaining and eloquent. Please keep broadcasting, you are adding so much value and I rallye enjoy your show.
What paths,offices,etc would be contacted Where could we start the process of(and achieve) creating a registry for predatory destroyers? The worst of these Narcists are acting as Assassins
I catch myself pursing (?sp) my lips when I'm thinking through what another person has said, if it is true or not. All behavior ques may not be the same for everyone. Correlation doesn't equal causation.
I ask my kids first before posting them. My oldest and youngest love it and ask me to do it but my middle child is shy. I have to ask and sometimes she says yes and sometimes no. It’s mostly no! 🤣 but it’s okay.
Good for you this is how it should be. I don't think parents today even think about it especially with the young ones. Once they get a little older they may be hamulated what was posted. I feel awful for them they have enough to deal with on social.
Check out HG Tudor's Knowing the Narcissistist the Ultra on youtube. He is a Narcissistic Psychopath who provides very interesting and useful information about Narcissistist and Narcissistic abuse. He also had done a number of interviews.
I listen to you when you mention that a person become a narcissist when they don’t get their needs met. I have a sister that was given any and everything that she wanted and she still seem like she was entitled so I don’t understand when you say something like that without a person has been given everything in life so what would make them become a narcissist my sister and I and my brother are up in the same household same parents but my brother and my sister was Always saying things to me is I’m supposed to be the case person I didn’t really mingle with me as much they were all together my sister had nothing to do with me and my brother didn’t really hang with me as much either those two were a pee in a pot together. But I know when I lost my brother my sister kept everything from me I had to find out through someone else my sister mean
17:39 Lol so I'm autistic and don't know or understand social ques very well, so I copied my grandfather. He always nodded so I would too. I'm also female I thought I was doing it normally, but occasionally I'd catch people laughing at me 😅 yeah idrk it's just interesting lol
Anyone that's studied basic psychology knows this. Everyone has narcissistic traits, maybe one or two, and can have moments in their lives where they're even extreme. We're talking about a pathology here. Constant, consistent highly narcissistic behavior with inability to self reflect.
if someone says he doesn’t have enough knowledge about narcisissm and he has s title: don’t ask him about narcisissm please. When someone has these traits they feel differently then people who don’t have these traits. So love is something they feel differently. So do not claim then that narcisissts can love. Claiming that when they are in a truely loving relationship and then they are suddenly not narcisisstic is in my humble opinion complete bs and dangerous. This is conditional love. If….. then….. Love starts within oneself. If you don’t love yourself, you are unable to love another person.
The easiest way to spot a narc is to watch them in everyday life when they have no idea you pay attention. They have no empathy. That is a sign that is the most reliable sign they carry always. They can learn anything else, in the non verbal communication and verbal communication, but they have no idea how to mimic empathy because they have no idea what that is. So, pay attention at the small signs of annoyance they express when they see a child crying or in pain, a dog who suffers, a cat that is injured, the TV news of a person in tragic circumstances etc.... They will feel ANNOYED. Not a single drop of empathy or sadness for another being, human or not... WATCH FOR THAT SIGN AND RUN. They have no idea what another feels and have no interest to even be curious about it. They are like ET. No soul. No empathy. Therapy does not work for narcs. Quite the opposite. Therapy makes things much worse because they learn new ways of behavior in therapy and use those as a new mean of manipulation.
I was married to a Nar , and didn't know untill after I divorced what a Nar was .I always felt sorry for him and hoped he would heal .... He didn't, and almost killed me. The hardest thing I ever did was leave , but was also the best decision I ever made.
Me too..the worst part was all the lies he told all over, he just tarnished my name and people who cared told me, other's kept secrets...playing games and talked about me behind my back, when they witness him punch hole in the wall...lol...had no problem remembering that..... telling me that they hate him... yes, they said hated HIM..
In my case, he was such a great guy at the beginning, he seemed a good person and he was very caring and generous with me, made me feel safe, he seemed like my partner, best friend, confident, love of my life. Also, he seemed nice with everyone in general. Two weeks before the wedding he started to show his real self. Devaluation. I forgave him, my mistake. After the wedding and the first kid, little by little he started to show his evil character and always made me feel like I deserve his bad behaviour. After the second kid, he turned into a demon. I’m working on getting out. It’s not easy but it’s a must.
I married a grandiose, malignant narcissist. when I crossed his threshold, it was terrifying on every level. From my perspective, he personified a psychopath in my experience. I am very grateful Lewis that you are engaging with experts to help folks identify these types of people so that we can empower ourselves!
@@JGallis I did it for 24 years and have PTSD..The worst part is that he broke my back and almost my neck, talked about my son gf and that she had no boobs and no butt, yet he was who argue with the MOM..
I think we attract narcissistic people when we were raised by self-absolved parents who ignored or mistreated us, we attract our psychology. Toxic people attract toxic people.
There is what I endured, 24 years of this garbage over and over and he was who broke my back, said that I looked like a prostitute, said no man has ever want you except for your body, DNT come home without meds or I will divorce you, tell the neighbor that was DNT take baths and I am a Hoarder, yet yelling at me at 3 am if it buy something for a dollar, yell at me if I let the neighbor kid play with the dog he got on impulse, said because she said so......they have a sneaky way of being, then he said that I was Costing him TOO much MONEY...played victim GAMES and said she treated her like a QUEEN, gave her a huge Rock...but, he had no problem hitting me on the Head for no reason, saying I did not know it was going to hurt that much...he even said to my Mom DNT listen to her it's all in her HEAD, to then say he was going to put me in a nursing home...told people that I tried to jump from the truck when he lied to the doctor saying that my Bipolar daughter was in fear of me... really when she twisted my hand when I tape recorded her to prove what she was doing...she was always talking behind my back and bully me...She is like her FATHER, had no problem playing victim game and said you left me...when she is 18 and abusing me along with her Father and my own SON broke my ribs, 2 x.... try, to get the Man, telling me you need to handle it your pushing me away, yet, he NEVER protects me.... telling his mom that he loves me like the first day he meet me... really, 24 years of his actions and words that affect me and his TOXIC ways...I didn't even argue with anything.....he had no problem coming home drunk drinking and driving to then throw up all over the bed, the floor, the toilet.....what happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh God....
@@michaeljackson7361 - An empath is made. People don’t like to talk about that aspect of being an empath. Empath’s learned in their formative years to read the room in order to anticipate behavior for safety.
I learnt the hard way by dating my ex who had Borderline, she was extremely intelligent and high in machiavellianism , that 3 years broke me down however I’ve rebuilt myself stronger and I’m now equipped with an antenna that detects those toxic behaviours in an instant. It really makes you appreciate people with a high moral compass. Although it was hard to deal with at the time I wouldn’t change it for the world. Sometimes falling off the mountain can reveal an easier path to the top.
I've been in relationship for 5 years. Just realized he's a narcissist. I knew some thing was off but then he started being abusive by manipulating. I thought I was losing my mind. Had to let him ago.
I had to learn the hard way too and to think that it equipped me and it made me check my own friends and family and I can identify it now. I am ashamed to say i am in debt. He had a pt job and i never knew where his money went. He lived in my head rent free putting me down..my ex was...i wanna intelligent but honestly stuipid. anyways i begged him to leave my place after we been a year together ( he moved in w me) and then i started to not come home cause being at home made me go insane. He brought out the worst in me i never knew existed and I never want to be that way again so to get him to leave I terminated my lease early and told him last minute. He broke down and started disappearing w my car for a couple days at a time. He even laid down on the floor for 3 days and did not move. Well in the end it was my fault that his life had to uproot. demanded I take me 1000 miles to his dads by using my words against me that I would do anything. SO i drove him halfway and he drove the rest of the way. his dad turned him away. I paid for 3 night stay then I just took off the last night w/o saying anything. HE was not making calls or nothing. Just relying on me. I am 1000 miles away from home with my stuff in my car cause i was moving out of my state to live w my mom. Drove back alone 1000 miles w 1night stay at motel
Wow.. I'm happy for you both. For someone who hasn't dealt with toxic people, they would hardly understand why getting away sometimes requires military tactics! It's almost like cutting off an arm that won't stop slapping you.. but is part of you.
I suppose I got lucky with the narcissistic people in my family. When you don’t supply them with anything, they don’t have you around. After a while you learn to live without them, so when they do pop back up, with the expectation that yo should drop everything for them because they are your family, you realize that you’ve lived this long without them and you can continue doing so. I don’t deal with them, and I am okay with that.
I decided, chose to deal with the narc SO, as little as possible. I discovered that I enjoyed being by myself & anyone else, except & instead of the narc. Can't look at, listen to or speak with. Yes! They are totally that hideous, horrible, awful and unpleasant. Wish they'd travel, go on an extended vacation, anything that would grant me a little, peace, tranquility and serenity. As I ignore, reject & avoid the narc, guess that them leaving is not an option. Wish that it was.
I hope I can get there some day, be able to live without the narc abuser in my life. It’s so hard. I’m still trauma bonded and my inner child wound of abandonment is huge…
The narcissist is so good at manipulation; it took me almost two years of separation to come out of the fog and understand the impact of my husband’s emotional abuse on me. Once I realized what he truly was and that he was incapable of changing, I was empowered to hire a divorce lawyer. I am pleased to say that we are now divorced but even after the mediation and finalization, he still tries to get his supply off of me. Best thing I learned was to stop responding to his texts immediately and to wait a minimum of 24 hours before responding.
Lori Gottlieb was 🔥 on her points. I find that Dr. Ramani often talks in black and white terms about narcissism, which doesn’t apply to people who are truly covert. It’s a spectrum, and there are nuances. You can observe the person and it’s not until you’re in an intimate relationship with them that the mask starts to slip. By then, you’re committed and invested. Truly heartbreaking and scary.
Vivian W, Dr Ramani has many videos. It looks like you didn't watch some. All types of narcissists give an impression that their life is more important, their time, their pain,etc,.. signs are there but we ignore them.
@@ellanola6284 I’ve watched more videos than I can count from her. And in watching so many (including the ones on covert or vulnerable narcissism), I find the videos generally stated in black and white terms, which is more relevant to malignant or grandiose narcs. The information is still valuable though - just with the caveat that it’s a spectrum imo.
The biggest super power in spotting clues was when i stopped looking for them in the narc first & focus on me. If i felt like i was trying too hard with them almost to the point of convincing them im a good catch etc - i stopped because that is not me. Then i realized he would innocently bring up women frequently - nothing big. My reaction to him came from something subtle he was doing. From that point it went quickly, spotted their clues much faster & I didn’t even have to date him. Wow i felt so empowered. Watch for your reaction toward them & why it’s happening. Dont explain. Trust your awareness.
This is so helpful. Thankful for this advice. It is so very hard when dealing with a toxic parent and siblings. You see the real true colors when a family member is ill the toxic family members really show their sides. Boundaries being set and exit strategy is in process.
My husband, is a narc I have no idea what to do about getting out I want out sooo bad have health issues Physical and mental health issues I can't believe how much he's hurting me mentally and emotionally & he doesn't even care However, I am not in the position for him to put me out on the street I don't want to push his buttons because it seems like when he hurts me it's like he can't hurt me enough to put me out and that just pisses him off because he can't just throw me out we're legally married and that pisses him off like he can't do enough to hurt me to get me out that scares me he tells me to Shut F**k up or get the f**k out It's escalating he's very aggressive & can potentially be violent. He resents when I set boundaries . I sleep in the basement on a cott I hate walking around egg shells around him I have to isolate myself in the basement just to get away from him
If they routinely have issues with people from work place, family, school, relationships and they're never at peace. You're always hearing them argue with someone. Alllllll their exes are crazy. You're next.
Spot on! So TRUE! Get ready....you are next in line. I blamed everyone because I thought he was WONDERFUL until the day I saw Satan before my own eyes. RUN...DO NOT WALK.
They are shallow, never go within. They remain on the surface only and deny their own emotions (energy in motion)! They live in fear, shame, guilt and the mask rarely comes off! if at all! 🔥♥️
They will try and lower your self-esteem. make you think they are more important than they really are. Criticize everything everyone, but don't except criticism. Blame u for all things good or bad cus eventually the good may have a bad outcome down the road maybe even years later but it will be your fault for whatever may or may not go wrong.... Just know the best way to deal with a narrassist is let them be their imagination. You can't fix them they aren't broken...ppl like them was put on this planet purposely...bad thing is these narrassist have knowledge or something we need...so remember no pain no gain...
@@ericaawake9503 WOW...me too, same thing..I was 24 years in the dark and I tried to keep peace till I got put in handcuffs for his lies, I refused and go with him when he lied and the funny thing it was my own daughter who set me up, said she was in fear of me, for my own son to ask me what happened, he was in shock and he stated that he was proud of me for Fighting back...he was hit on from young kid, the father got kicks out of hurting people and animals, and how he would say horrible things that I NEVER heard anyone say, like when my cat drops dead culvulsing in my hands he said one down one to go....I was in pure shock....who does that? Who wishes death on a animal and grabs the mother of your kids by the neck and says quit crying....then played Victim all over...even told attorney that he treated me like a QUEEN and I had a huge Rock...lier playing games with my life and my own friends...what happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh God and be blessed..they reap what they sowed in due time...
I dated a narcissist. He twists and turned everything as a weapon. Had retroactive jealousy huge paranoia I had some stuff to work on then lol. Keep loving you. Exhausting a threesome 😂 so so true. Best we can do is keep working on ourselves. Love ourselves and have great boundaries. No contact is so true. Not always easy when you have kids. Great interview.
The best is to focus and observe one's own energy so that one does not project it onto others. Then anyone with narcissistic tendencies or other issues cannot have any effect on oneself.
This is exactly what I did and the narc wanted to leave me because I called him out on disrespecting me to my face by running up in other women's faces and I said to him I'm not having that so he broke it off with me it was short lived
Narcissists and sociopaths are fearless and oblivious - they do not get nervous. They are often idiotically unaware of how their behaviour affects others and often have an in-your-face approach especially if they have positions of power at work. Putting on an act comes easy to them but they do not care if they are lying and will just tell another one to back it all up when necessary.
You have the power to change it and identify as someone who is healed. Change the way you speak on your life, and find the strength in yourself. Use the hurt as motivation to become productive in having a better view on life. And if you know that person was a narcissist, then you know you haven’t done anything wrong and they will receive their karma
Never give up! Creating your own beautiful story is the best revenge 🤗Become relentless and fierce. Watch Dr. Ramani why narcissist picked you? We are a great kind of breed, we just have to see it ourselves. 💗 Love always!
I've developed a 6th sense in detecting narcissists, liars and manipulators. It's second nature to me. I've developed this ability by growing up surrounded by those kinds of people, unfortunately. This book is essential to get you out and, to avoid getting into, bad situations. Please provide this person's YT or socials, it's the least you can do.
It’s understandable for his dialogue, but I really wish he would stop trying to finish her sentences in the first clip. When it comes to narcissistic abuse and being a woman, we only want to have that conversation ONE time without being interrupted. Being interrupted can lead to derailing the conversation, and it’s usually the driving point that needs to be delivered and never ends up happening. Speaking on narcissistic abuse tends to come from people that have never been heard or understood since being a child. And it keeps the cycle going when the victim is continuously silenced. 💚
Crazy because I taught my narc how to be a better manipulator without even realizing it. I was teaching him to be a giver, and telling him in order to be successful and create high value relationships, he has to be open, honest and giving. He was so cheap and frugal, but I kept telling him to give if he ever expects to receive. He took that and RAN. He will pay for a dinner with someone he wants something from. He will pretend to be “giving” in order to “take” what he wants. When it came to me, he wouldn’t even buy me a chipotle. I’d get yelled at, how dare I ask or demand? Absolutely insane person. And to top it all off, he ended up being an Instagram scammer. Good riddens 🙌🏼
To electric Mary Jane, I know exactly what you mean. After 15 years I realized that I was teaching good manners for nothing. Narcs dont have good manners by nature. It a tactic they use to get what they want. You are so right!
Just wanted to say, I used to be a narcissist. I have been in that headspace. I know it, and I recognize it when I see it in other people. It IS possible for anyone to change. And I have been through an insane journey of transforming my mind and letting things go- and getting professional help and really taking full responsibility for my life and behaviors. It’s the greatest thing I have ever done. It CAN be done.
So just to be clear, you were clinically diagnosed a narcissist and now your clinically not diagnosed as one anymore? Because if not then you were most likely not a narcissist, but just had selfish and insecurity issues. It happens to normal people.
I am SO happy for you, but I don't think you were pathological. We all have some narcissistic characteristics. Some have a lot, it varies. I noticed I had narcissistic characteristics as I went through therapy and I've been able to correct them as well. However, pathologically narcissistic people do NOT change. It could be misleading and dangerous to have anyone think that their narcissistic partner could change when they could be dealing with someone who is pathological. Again, I am so happy for you.....but it's simply not possible for everyone. Besides, toxic is toxic regardless of who or what it is and should be avoided if possible. And ONLY that person can help themselves. The Little Shaman explains pathological narcissism perfectly. Thank you for sharing your experience 🙂
Friend of mine was in a relationship with a narcissist and when she did the no-contact thing, basically totally ignored the person and tried to distance far away, the narcissist started poisoning the social circles that she was part of. Gossip, lying, manipulating her friends, all of these things and even coercing others to bully her. She had to go to therapy to simply be able to stay normal.
I have received the best wealth of knowledge & insight from this compilation than all the books I've read on this topic. The excellent panel of therapists confirmed what I quietly concluded about the core issue w/narcissists via personal experience just as all of them conveyed that narcissists are really individuals who are the opposite of how they socially portray themselves. The "Real" reality is that they are actually suffering & severely insecure. Experiencing that revelation helps reframe the past to where you can let go & move on with your life without an ounce of doubt, never wanting to look back nor continue living in the same hellish, insane space they are living in. You'll be able detach & kindly release them to the universe and began a new, rewarding, fresh life for yourself. Narcissists make themselves appear as if they're the greatest catch & the best man or woman for you. Ha...Not! The truth is out the bag & now more transparent than what they realize. A person isn't missing out on not having them in their life...actually your life is 200% better without them in your life. When in the presence of one, notice how eager they will become to get your attention, when you ignore them and react in a nonchalant manner to any of the interaction attempts. It's very difficult for them to handle & take it very personal. Do not buy into any of their charm techniques...they just want to use you for "narcissistic supply"; btw is not my term but one I learned from a book I read & can't remember the name of the book at this moment. Self-care Up,✌...Green Love aka Self-Love...Go Green💚...Its worth it! 💚🤣.
One interesting little thing that helps, is to wear white, especially around toxic and negative people! Why? The colour black absorbs these dark energies!
First sign to look for, ever meet someone and ur think they’re laughing with you but then u walk away feeling like they were laughing at u but in disguise? Trust me u give them that one freebie and their greed kicks in and they come back for more, they won’t be finished until they strip u of ur confidence and dignity
Yes, anyone who makes fun of you when they are playing victim it's the GAMES that they are playing to make you feel bad....it has happened to the over and over...the people who enabled them to grow up thinking they are special caused this behavior, mostly if they have blue eyes and think they are God's gift..
@@lisacranmer8005 especially the youngest of the family sometimes grow up to be man-child, they learn early on how to triangulate for example in trouble with mom, runs to grandma, argument right there, not getting enough attention, throws a sibling under the bus, they bring that behavior into adulthood
Yeah a narcissist behaves similar to Kevin’s older brother in that Home Alone Movie they do or say something to trigger you usually in a public setting and if you react they make you look like the troublemaker and when everyone’s back is turned they taunt you or whisper something in your ears to let you know that they got one over on you and no one will believe you.
I was told by one notable narc in my life, " I don't need you any more - I can do you." I had to laugh! It proves narcs are constructed and not natural.
I agree, getting therapy is just more info they use to get more supply. Just think about the TH-camrs that are narcs, guess what they are using their problem for more attention in a way. Not all but I'm sure most are
I think it is interesting about the head nod being mentioned as a "man thing".... I nod at people too, people I pass while I am walking, or as a greeting when I see a friend. I notice too, when I nod at people I don't know it is the "low nod" or less exposing my neck or jugular. It's not just a man thing. For me it is an acknowledgement, a "I see you" or a "silent hello". Depending on my mood, I may flash a smile with the nod too. Any other ladies nod?
As a female, I nod at men who speak to me I dont know. That's when I was young and younger. Because I found to speak was an invitation for interaction. So being gorgeous, I nodded a lot.
I am soo baffled the voice thing just blew my mind. My ex would always deep3nd his voice it was like a complete character change and always for others he was trying to hid his abuse from!!
My ex was, in my opinion, a covert narcissist. He was consistently cruel to me. I think he truly loved his second wife who recently died of cancer. I think she was always "sweet" but I'm not so sure she wasn't just using him. He chased her where I pursued him.
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What kind of narcissist starts a double life and even brings that other partner to meet their adult children?
Sure. Lewis I heard you here and want to be friends since I have gone through some of the emotions you went through and want to connect. Message me back if this message of mine in some way connects to you!
And her name is??
Their names please
Because u dealt with narc before that's y u don't tell everything to anyone again because u want to be aware and be careful(so that makes u a narc now from 3rd speaker's professional point of view). Everyone end up being a little narc.....
A genuine love relationship does NOT help the narcissist to become a better person. It helps them to become a better narcissist. Then it slowly destroys their partner. Loving a narcissist is the absolute worst mistake anyone can ever make in life.
This
100000%
Yeah thankfully I got away from her mostly intact
The professional interviewed in this video who stated this really made me raised an eyebrow. I was shocked. Narcissism is not treatable, and a “genuine love relationship” isn’t going to change them at all.
😭
I experienced the grandiose/malignant narcissist. Absolutely horrible After I finally had the ability to walk away after 7 months I COULD NOT believe how I contorted my self to please him and the values and integrity I had. No one would believe me of the hell spell I was under.
they have everyone fooled
7 years here! What a crazy ride!
“You can’t change another person, but you can influence change in another person.” I like that!! :) 💚
Thanks for being here! 🙏
Dr. Rahmani has saved my life and I use the Deep technique all the time when I'm around toxic or narcissistic people
Dr. Rahmani is the best!!!!
Healthy boundaries are helpful to stay in integrity
Boundaries aren't enough. I've tried no contact for a while, low contact, compromising, tough love, asshole back, everything.. it doesn't work! No contact is the only solution for me after being sporadically pushed around too often with just enough plausible deniability from them
I dated a sociopath who wouldn't even care if you had a boundary up.
Say you told them you like Pepsi and wanted a Pepsi. Well they would hear nothing of it and hand you a sprite. And when you say "I don't want this" They say "Wow, I was just trying to be nice, that hurt my feelings."
So you apologize because they make it seem like they tell you they did an oops or it was a joke.
It wasn't a joke though or a mistake.
It is difficult to get toxic family members out of our life- so need to set boundaries.
👍
The lip pursed thing was fascinating. I saw that look so often. It is accompanied by a glazed look in the eyes. It's like a calculating, judging look.
My sister does the lips pursed thing, especially when I was blocking her from taking something she wanted, or when I greeted her with "Hi! Beautiful day!". It's usually followed with the feeling they want to rip your throat out....
Who has the time for this energy??? Love is kind all the time. Ethical people are consistent and effortless.
There are people that can lie, easily & look at you bc They Believe Their Own lies. So that got that situation figured out…
My ex used to say (whenever I had success), “Now you’re going to leave me.” My success was his threat 🤦🏻♀️
U should tell him to step up to be sooo good u won’t even think about it
My ex husband would discourage me from going to college and bettering myself. It scared him, he also said I would leave him since I could take care of myself 🙄
She is correct. A guy I dated, instead of getting better, he wanted to learn, HOW TO BETTER USE, CONTROL PEOPLE. He said that.
Dr Ramani …love her books ..might need to read this for work
I am acutely grateful for your content.
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She is very happy with herself. She is very happy with her master of terms and regurgitating information so to pinpoints all the information she wants to pinpoint.
I think you should have a Narcissist on your show. He’s on TH-cam. His name is Mental Healness He’s very open about everything. You should check him out.
That would be so awesome
HG Tudor also
confident and empathic - am I that unicorn Dr.Ramani mentions? gosh I'd love her to poke at me. I know I could learn so much about myself from her.
I mean I already have - she's amazing and doing such great work!!
So funny and kind of embarrassing that I feel the same way
@@AGreaterDane haha yeah I share those feelings - I’m typically a rather humble human; yet I’ve been learning to embrace and own my power.
I feel like this was one of those acts of ownership..
1st speaker: Vanessa Van Edwards
2nd speaker: Ramani Durvasula
3rd speaker: Lori Gottlieb
4th: Someone help me out with the fourth im on the clock lol
Daniel Lieberman
Robert green
There is only one way to be and that is my authentic self. It's too hard to be anything else. I can try to be fake or manipulative but I'm too honest and then I'm like dam why did I say that I just gave too much info that I was not gonna do. Darn I'm not good at wearing a mask.
Me too..I should keep it shift up..but why, it's my Truth...being told that I look like a prostitute for zero then told to stop crying, and he goes in the place like no biggy, then he is drinking and driving like a nut case doing wheelies, a Father of 2....I took lie detector tests proved who was the victim and who played GAMES...Passed 2 lie detector tests...and the people who enabled him to hurt me have no shame..I got attacked by his sister, and I walked away.....held my composure...said your brother obviously has MENTAL ISSUES...
I think it's important to note some people arnt toxic you're just allergic to them. I mean as people you're both perfectly well socialised you just too extremely differ on the 5 dimensions of personality and that courses you to believe each other is toxic when you're just oil and water- for example- 1 person is super disagreeable, conscientious and low is neuroticism and the other is super agreeable, low is conscientiousness and high in neuroticism. Person A is going to find person B pathetic, whinny, not holding their weight, careless and over sensitive and person B is going to find person A intolerant, high maintence, stubborn and tyrannical. Neither of them are bad people, just so differently and incompatible on a clinical level that you have a toxic dynamic between 2 perfectly stable people.
Wrong
I used to give her many kisses all over her face and neck, and one day she did the same to me but I felt that she wasn’t feeling the emotion that goes along with the action and it made me feel disgusted, just going through the motions without the authentic feeling, its manipulative, she just mirrored me.
Yes it’s true,then they become you! Or try to!.
Michael Aquino on Geraldo's "Devil Worship" special. Shortly after Mc Martin had a very rapid blink rate while being interviewed on the show.
Why be fake? They don't put us out of integrity.. we choose our responses. We don't have to like everyone or pretend to.
According to Dr Ramani, practically everyone in the elderly generation of Korea are narcissists. There are just too many narcissists in this culture. So hard to meet a wholesome, self actualized people .
00:34:00 interesting point
Being involved with a narcissist for 10 years and fighting back is exhausting. One starts to question whether or not they are the narcissist.
Same, even after the relationship is long gone and I haven't spoken with the narcissist in years, I still question "Am I a narcissist now?"
We live around monsters. I pray for everyone to wake up and leave whoever is making you watch these videos
Professor Sam Vaknin's 'Making Sense of Narcissistic Abuse' video is interesting.
Love him
Hey Lewis! I do acknoledge you for broadcasting and interviewing so many incredibly interesting women. May I suggest another interview- partner for you? Her name is Stefanie Stahl and she is Germany's most famous psychotherapist. She has written some groundbreaking books that deserve to be known all over the world. I'd really like to see her on your show, too. And I think you would have a great time interviewing her because she is also very funny, entertaining and eloquent. Please keep broadcasting, you are adding so much value and I rallye enjoy your show.
What paths,offices,etc would be contacted Where could we start the process of(and achieve) creating a registry for predatory destroyers? The worst of these Narcists are acting as Assassins
I catch myself pursing (?sp) my lips when I'm thinking through what another person has said, if it is true or not. All behavior ques may not be the same for everyone. Correlation doesn't equal causation.
Great video , thank you
You're welcome, thank you for being here 🧡
Awesome interview slash conversation.
Glad you enjoyed it!
I ask my kids first before posting them. My oldest and youngest love it and ask me to do it but my middle child is shy. I have to ask and sometimes she says yes and sometimes no. It’s mostly no! 🤣 but it’s okay.
Good for you this is how it should be. I don't think parents today even think about it especially with the young ones. Once they get a little older they may be hamulated what was posted. I feel awful for them they have enough to deal with on social.
🙌
Check out HG Tudor's Knowing the Narcissistist the Ultra
on youtube.
He is a Narcissistic Psychopath who provides very interesting and useful information about Narcissistist and Narcissistic abuse.
He also had done a number of interviews.
I listen to you when you mention that a person become a narcissist when they don’t get their needs met. I have a sister that was given any and everything that she wanted and she still seem like she was entitled so I don’t understand when you say something like that without a person has been given everything in life so what would make them become a narcissist my sister and I and my brother are up in the same household same parents but my brother and my sister was Always saying things to me is I’m supposed to be the case person I didn’t really mingle with me as much they were all together my sister had nothing to do with me and my brother didn’t really hang with me as much either those two were a pee in a pot together. But I know when I lost my brother my sister kept everything from me I had to find out through someone else my sister mean
17:39
Lol so I'm autistic and don't know or understand social ques very well, so I copied my grandfather. He always nodded so I would too. I'm also female
I thought I was doing it normally, but occasionally I'd catch people laughing at me 😅 yeah idrk it's just interesting lol
Extremely interesting, I couldn’t subscribe fast enough
Thanks for subscribing!
The near nod upwards I do as a female too .. I am Aussie and I think we do that ?…
no one is a better fighter than me....I was born in NPD BPD sociopaths schitzos...
Canine cultures: acknowledge ALL others, must be done, includes hierarchy social ability.
Great video!! ❤
Thank you!
Love this info
🧡
I think everyone has some type of unintentional narcissist behavior.
Anyone that's studied basic psychology knows this. Everyone has narcissistic traits, maybe one or two, and can have moments in their lives where they're even extreme. We're talking about a pathology here. Constant, consistent highly narcissistic behavior with inability to self reflect.
most, not 100%
The lady at the beginning, What is the name of her book so I can get it ??????
Vanessa van edwards
if someone says he doesn’t have enough knowledge about narcisissm and he has s title: don’t ask him about narcisissm please.
When someone has these traits they feel differently then people who don’t have these traits. So love is something they feel differently. So do not claim then that narcisissts can love.
Claiming that when they are in a truely loving relationship and then they are suddenly not narcisisstic is in my humble opinion complete bs and dangerous. This is conditional love. If….. then…..
Love starts within oneself. If you don’t love yourself, you are unable to love another person.
Inherited characteristics
can’t be changed.
Narcissism can’t be changed . . Why?
Because it’s inherited.
Omg lack of impenthy hurts more than anything
*empathy
just dont do it....dont play the game...take the 5th...silence is a beautiful thing....
Dang
😭 CONGRATULATIONS
You were around the NARC too long when you ignored the many times they used the word "I" in your first conversation. THAT GOES FOR MALE OR FEMALE.
The easiest way to spot a narc is to watch them in everyday life when they have no idea you pay attention. They have no empathy. That is a sign that is the most reliable sign they carry always. They can learn anything else, in the non verbal communication and verbal communication, but they have no idea how to mimic empathy because they have no idea what that is. So, pay attention at the small signs of annoyance they express when they see a child crying or in pain, a dog who suffers, a cat that is injured, the TV news of a person in tragic circumstances etc.... They will feel ANNOYED. Not a single drop of empathy or sadness for another being, human or not... WATCH FOR THAT SIGN AND RUN. They have no idea what another feels and have no interest to even be curious about it. They are like ET. No soul. No empathy. Therapy does not work for narcs. Quite the opposite. Therapy makes things much worse because they learn new ways of behavior in therapy and use those as a new mean of manipulation.
This is so helpful
wait aren't you describing psychopathy/sociopathy ?
Glad this was helpful for you🧡
@@matalostodos Erm? I think the OP is referring more to like, watching someone kick a puppy or something than some sort of manipulative ad... 🤔
@@matalostodos feeling annoyed over a child crying or in pain is a 🚩
Great interviews.
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Ugh. Narcissists are dangerous. I just got one out of my life. Cold, calculating and really really destructive!
I was married to a Nar , and didn't know untill after I divorced what a Nar was .I always felt sorry for him and hoped he would heal .... He didn't, and almost killed me. The hardest thing I ever did was leave , but was also the best decision I ever made.
Me too..the worst part was all the lies he told all over, he just tarnished my name and people who cared told me, other's kept secrets...playing games and talked about me behind my back, when they witness him punch hole in the wall...lol...had no problem remembering that..... telling me that they hate him... yes, they said hated HIM..
A Nar..?? 😂
@@lisacranmer8005 same same. The smear campaign 😞
Pathologically narcissists do not get involved with emotionally healthy people. Work on healing in your core issues and have impeccable boundaries!
Boundaries and see the red flags and run.
Great point!
Period.
True
In my case, he was such a great guy at the beginning, he seemed a good person and he was very caring and generous with me, made me feel safe, he seemed like my partner, best friend, confident, love of my life. Also, he seemed nice with everyone in general. Two weeks before the wedding he started to show his real self. Devaluation. I forgave him, my mistake. After the wedding and the first kid, little by little he started to show his evil character and always made me feel like I deserve his bad behaviour. After the second kid, he turned into a demon. I’m working on getting out. It’s not easy but it’s a must.
I only saw warm and loving in the very, very beginning everything after that was pure misery for the next 30 yrs.
Because of their internal psychological structure a narcissist hates to be loved and loves to hate
I married a grandiose, malignant narcissist. when I crossed his threshold, it was terrifying on every level. From my perspective, he personified a psychopath in my experience. I am very grateful Lewis that you are engaging with experts to help folks identify these types of people so that we can empower ourselves!
This interview is scaring me because I'm living proof of this omg.
@@JGallis I did it for 24 years and have PTSD..The worst part is that he broke my back and almost my neck, talked about my son gf and that she had no boobs and no butt, yet he was who argue with the MOM..
... I sure hope u escape ... (-_*
Jekyll and Hyde as I was typing it she said it!! It’s so scary so scary mind blowing
Was he a horrible listener
I think we attract narcissistic people when we were raised by self-absolved parents who ignored or mistreated us, we attract our psychology. Toxic people attract toxic people.
Maybe you are an empath.
There is what I endured, 24 years of this garbage over and over and he was who broke my back, said that I looked like a prostitute, said no man has ever want you except for your body, DNT come home without meds or I will divorce you, tell the neighbor that was DNT take baths and I am a Hoarder, yet yelling at me at 3 am if it buy something for a dollar, yell at me if I let the neighbor kid play with the dog he got on impulse, said because she said so......they have a sneaky way of being, then he said that I was Costing him TOO much MONEY...played victim GAMES and said she treated her like a QUEEN, gave her a huge Rock...but, he had no problem hitting me on the Head for no reason, saying I did not know it was going to hurt that much...he even said to my Mom DNT listen to her it's all in her HEAD, to then say he was going to put me in a nursing home...told people that I tried to jump from the truck when he lied to the doctor saying that my Bipolar daughter was in fear of me... really when she twisted my hand when I tape recorded her to prove what she was doing...she was always talking behind my back and bully me...She is like her FATHER, had no problem playing victim game and said you left me...when she is 18 and abusing me along with her Father and my own SON broke my ribs, 2 x.... try, to get the Man, telling me you need to handle it your pushing me away, yet, he NEVER protects me.... telling his mom that he loves me like the first day he meet me... really, 24 years of his actions and words that affect me and his TOXIC ways...I didn't even argue with anything.....he had no problem coming home drunk drinking and driving to then throw up all over the bed, the floor, the toilet.....what happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh God....
Well said.
My situation and my dad is one.
@@michaeljackson7361 - An empath is made. People don’t like to talk about that aspect of being an empath. Empath’s learned in their formative years to read the room in order to anticipate behavior for safety.
"People go to therapy to deal with the people that won't go to therapy." This is my exact current situation... interesting
👍
I learnt the hard way by dating my ex who had Borderline, she was extremely intelligent and high in machiavellianism , that 3 years broke me down however I’ve rebuilt myself stronger and I’m now equipped with an antenna that detects those toxic behaviours in an instant. It really makes you appreciate people with a high moral compass. Although it was hard to deal with at the time I wouldn’t change it for the world.
Sometimes falling off the mountain can reveal an easier path to the top.
I've been in relationship for 5 years. Just realized he's a narcissist. I knew some thing was off but then he started being abusive by manipulating. I thought I was losing my mind. Had to let him ago.
I had to learn the hard way too and to think that it equipped me and it made me check my own friends and family and I can identify it now. I am ashamed to say i am in debt. He had a pt job and i never knew where his money went. He lived in my head rent free putting me down..my ex was...i wanna intelligent but honestly stuipid. anyways i begged him to leave my place after we been a year together ( he moved in w me) and then i started to not come home cause being at home made me go insane. He brought out the worst in me i never knew existed and I never want to be that way again so to get him to leave I terminated my lease early and told him last minute. He broke down and started disappearing w my car for a couple days at a time. He even laid down on the floor for 3 days and did not move. Well in the end it was my fault that his life had to uproot. demanded I take me 1000 miles to his dads by using my words against me that I would do anything. SO i drove him halfway and he drove the rest of the way. his dad turned him away. I paid for 3 night stay then I just took off the last night w/o saying anything. HE was not making calls or nothing. Just relying on me. I am 1000 miles away from home with my stuff in my car cause i was moving out of my state to live w my mom. Drove back alone 1000 miles w 1night stay at motel
Wow.. I'm happy for you both. For someone who hasn't dealt with toxic people, they would hardly understand why getting away sometimes requires military tactics!
It's almost like cutting off an arm that won't stop slapping you.. but is part of you.
This comment is a revelation👏 🙏🏿🙏🏿
I suppose I got lucky with the narcissistic people in my family. When you don’t supply them with anything, they don’t have you around. After a while you learn to live without them, so when they do pop back up, with the expectation that yo should drop everything for them because they are your family, you realize that you’ve lived this long without them and you can continue doing so. I don’t deal with them, and I am okay with that.
I decided, chose to deal with the narc SO, as little as possible. I discovered that I enjoyed being by myself & anyone else, except & instead of the narc. Can't look at, listen to or speak with. Yes! They are totally that hideous, horrible, awful and unpleasant. Wish they'd travel, go on an extended vacation, anything that would grant me a little, peace, tranquility and serenity. As I ignore, reject & avoid the narc, guess that them leaving is not an option. Wish that it was.
I hope I can get there some day, be able to live without the narc abuser in my life.
It’s so hard. I’m still trauma bonded and my inner child wound of abandonment is huge…
The narcissist is so good at manipulation; it took me almost two years of separation to come out of the fog and understand the impact of my husband’s emotional abuse on me. Once I realized what he truly was and that he was incapable of changing, I was empowered to hire a divorce lawyer. I am pleased to say that we are now divorced but even after the mediation and finalization, he still tries to get his supply off of me. Best thing I learned was to stop responding to his texts immediately and to wait a minimum of 24 hours before responding.
Amen took me a year to spot it a year to divorce and been alone for a year ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Good tip, and will be using it.😊
Lori Gottlieb was 🔥 on her points. I find that Dr. Ramani often talks in black and white terms about narcissism, which doesn’t apply to people who are truly covert. It’s a spectrum, and there are nuances. You can observe the person and it’s not until you’re in an intimate relationship with them that the mask starts to slip. By then, you’re committed and invested. Truly heartbreaking and scary.
Vivian W, Dr Ramani has many videos. It looks like you didn't watch some. All types of narcissists give an impression that their life is more important, their time, their pain,etc,.. signs are there but we ignore them.
@@ellanola6284 I’ve watched more videos than I can count from her. And in watching so many (including the ones on covert or vulnerable narcissism), I find the videos generally stated in black and white terms, which is more relevant to malignant or grandiose narcs. The information is still valuable though - just with the caveat that it’s a spectrum imo.
What is the book they are referring to?
Get out ❤❤❤❤
Dr Ramani is all over the place
The biggest super power in spotting clues was when i stopped looking for them in the narc first & focus on me. If i felt like i was trying too hard with them almost to the point of convincing them im a good catch etc - i stopped because that is not me. Then i realized he would innocently bring up women frequently - nothing big. My reaction to him came from something subtle he was doing. From that point it went quickly, spotted their clues much faster & I didn’t even have to date him. Wow i felt so empowered. Watch for your reaction toward them & why it’s happening. Dont explain. Trust your awareness.
The narcissists even study movies to practice conversations, expressions, etc.
Be very Careful.
Thank you for that heads up... very good to know!
This is so helpful. Thankful for this advice. It is so very hard when dealing with a toxic parent and siblings. You see the real true colors when a family member is ill the toxic family members really show their sides. Boundaries being set and exit strategy is in process.
You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡
This makes me cry 😢 how can somebody come into your life , knowing , they came to destroy.
They DNT care..it's all about them, and the game....the wicked falsehood of person.... Truly wicked when they hide behind Church Facade...
My husband, is a narc
I have no idea what to do about getting out
I want out sooo bad have health issues
Physical and mental health issues I can't believe how much he's hurting me mentally and emotionally & he doesn't even care
However, I am not in the position for him to put me out on the street I don't want to push his buttons because it seems like when he hurts me it's like he can't hurt me enough to put me out and that just pisses him off because he can't just throw me out we're legally married and that pisses him off like he can't do enough to hurt me to get me out that scares me he tells me to
Shut F**k up or get the f**k out
It's escalating he's very aggressive & can potentially be violent. He resents when I set boundaries . I sleep in the basement on a cott I hate walking around egg shells around him
I have to isolate myself in the basement just to get away from him
@@teresapacheco1642 Because they're a narcissist.
If they routinely have issues with people from work place, family, school, relationships and they're never at peace. You're always hearing them argue with someone. Alllllll their exes are crazy. You're next.
Spot on! So TRUE! Get ready....you are next in line. I blamed everyone because I thought he was WONDERFUL until the day I saw Satan before my own eyes. RUN...DO NOT WALK.
They are shallow, never go within. They remain on the surface only and deny their own emotions (energy in motion)!
They live in fear, shame, guilt and the mask rarely comes off! if at all! 🔥♥️
They will try and lower your self-esteem. make you think they are more important than they really are. Criticize everything everyone, but don't except criticism. Blame u for all things good or bad cus eventually the good may have a bad outcome down the road maybe even years later but it will be your fault for whatever may or may not go wrong....
Just know the best way to deal with a narrassist is let them be their imagination. You can't fix them they aren't broken...ppl like them was put on this planet purposely...bad thing is these narrassist have knowledge or something we need...so remember no pain no gain...
Are you a narcissist??? Never leave anything up to them, get away.
@@ericaawake9503 WOW...me too, same thing..I was 24 years in the dark and I tried to keep peace till I got put in handcuffs for his lies, I refused and go with him when he lied and the funny thing it was my own daughter who set me up, said she was in fear of me, for my own son to ask me what happened, he was in shock and he stated that he was proud of me for Fighting back...he was hit on from young kid, the father got kicks out of hurting people and animals, and how he would say horrible things that I NEVER heard anyone say, like when my cat drops dead culvulsing in my hands he said one down one to go....I was in pure shock....who does that? Who wishes death on a animal and grabs the mother of your kids by the neck and says quit crying....then played Victim all over...even told attorney that he treated me like a QUEEN and I had a huge Rock...lier playing games with my life and my own friends...what happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh God and be blessed..they reap what they sowed in due time...
@@justint.kennerly5780 yes
@@lisacranmer8005 Narcs are tools of the Devil. Full stop.
I dated a narcissist. He twists and turned everything as a weapon. Had retroactive jealousy huge paranoia I had some stuff to work on then lol. Keep loving you. Exhausting a threesome 😂 so so true. Best we can do is keep working on ourselves. Love ourselves and have great boundaries. No contact is so true. Not always easy when you have kids. Great interview.
As for tells, I figured that whenever my ex's lips were moving, he was lying.
The best is to focus and observe one's own energy so that one does not project it onto others. Then anyone with narcissistic tendencies or other issues cannot have any effect on oneself.
👍
projection is always part of exchanges, it just depends on how much etc... if its positive etc. Paired with objectivity.
This is exactly what I did and the narc wanted to leave me because I called him out on disrespecting me to my face by running up in other women's faces and I said to him I'm not having that so he broke it off with me it was short lived
Narcissists and sociopaths are fearless and oblivious - they do not get nervous. They are often idiotically unaware of how their behaviour affects others and often have an in-your-face approach especially if they have positions of power at work. Putting on an act comes easy to them but they do not care if they are lying and will just tell another one to back it all up when necessary.
My life has been destroyed by narcissist
You have the power to change it and identify as someone who is healed. Change the way you speak on your life, and find the strength in yourself. Use the hurt as motivation to become productive in having a better view on life. And if you know that person was a narcissist, then you know you haven’t done anything wrong and they will receive their karma
The way you win against them is to live your life and change it for the better. Never let them see your emotions. Ever.
Never give up! Creating your own beautiful story is the best revenge 🤗Become relentless and fierce. Watch Dr. Ramani why narcissist picked you? We are a great kind of breed, we just have to see it ourselves. 💗 Love always!
👍
@@carriehealth Thanks..it hurts...but yes, I try..
I've developed a 6th sense in detecting narcissists, liars and manipulators. It's second nature to me. I've developed this ability by growing up surrounded by those kinds of people, unfortunately. This book is essential to get you out and, to avoid getting into, bad situations. Please provide this person's YT or socials, it's the least you can do.
90
In most my experiences when someone treats a waiter/waitress in a bad way that's an instant red flag for me....
🧡
Or deciding for you what to eat. I instantly lose my appetite.
@@jullietmburu9672 💯
It’s understandable for his dialogue, but I really wish he would stop trying to finish her sentences in the first clip. When it comes to narcissistic abuse and being a woman, we only want to have that conversation ONE time without being interrupted. Being interrupted can lead to derailing the conversation, and it’s usually the driving point that needs to be delivered and never ends up happening. Speaking on narcissistic abuse tends to come from people that have never been heard or understood since being a child. And it keeps the cycle going when the victim is continuously silenced. 💚
Crazy because I taught my narc how to be a better manipulator without even realizing it. I was teaching him to be a giver, and telling him in order to be successful and create high value relationships, he has to be open, honest and giving. He was so cheap and frugal, but I kept telling him to give if he ever expects to receive. He took that and RAN. He will pay for a dinner with someone he wants something from. He will pretend to be “giving” in order to “take” what he wants. When it came to me, he wouldn’t even buy me a chipotle. I’d get yelled at, how dare I ask or demand? Absolutely insane person. And to top it all off, he ended up being an Instagram scammer. Good riddens 🙌🏼
To electric Mary Jane, I know exactly what you mean. After 15 years I realized that I was teaching good manners for nothing. Narcs dont have good manners by nature. It a tactic they use to get what they want. You are so right!
How?!
Just wanted to say, I used to be a narcissist. I have been in that headspace. I know it, and I recognize it when I see it in other people. It IS possible for anyone to change. And I have been through an insane journey of transforming my mind and letting things go- and getting professional help and really taking full responsibility for my life and behaviors. It’s the greatest thing I have ever done. It CAN be done.
Where did you start to lessen your narcissist tendencies?
Maybe u had tendencies not full blown up personality disorder.
So just to be clear, you were clinically diagnosed a narcissist and now your clinically not diagnosed as one anymore? Because if not then you were most likely not a narcissist, but just had selfish and insecurity issues. It happens to normal people.
No it's not clinically and scientifically possible for a sick sociopath narc to change. NEVER
I am SO happy for you, but I don't think you were pathological. We all have some narcissistic characteristics. Some have a lot, it varies. I noticed I had narcissistic characteristics as I went through therapy and I've been able to correct them as well. However, pathologically narcissistic people do NOT change. It could be misleading and dangerous to have anyone think that their narcissistic partner could change when they could be dealing with someone who is pathological. Again, I am so happy for you.....but it's simply not possible for everyone. Besides, toxic is toxic regardless of who or what it is and should be avoided if possible. And ONLY that person can help themselves.
The Little Shaman explains pathological narcissism perfectly.
Thank you for sharing your experience 🙂
Friend of mine was in a relationship with a narcissist and when she did the no-contact thing, basically totally ignored the person and tried to distance far away, the narcissist started poisoning the social circles that she was part of. Gossip, lying, manipulating her friends, all of these things and even coercing others to bully her. She had to go to therapy to simply be able to stay normal.
I had a friend go through the same thing.lol❤
Great info on both toxic people/co-workers and narcissists, particularly the descriptions of the various types of narcissists. Thank you Lewis.
You're welcome🧡
I have received the best wealth of knowledge & insight from this compilation than all the books I've read on this topic. The excellent panel of therapists confirmed what I quietly concluded about the core issue w/narcissists via personal experience just as all of them conveyed that narcissists are really individuals who are the opposite of how they socially portray themselves. The "Real" reality is that they are actually suffering & severely insecure. Experiencing that revelation helps reframe the past to where you can let go & move on with your life without an ounce of doubt, never wanting to look back nor continue living in the same hellish, insane space they are living in. You'll be able detach & kindly release them to the universe and began a new, rewarding, fresh life for yourself. Narcissists make themselves appear as if they're the greatest catch & the best man or woman for you. Ha...Not! The truth is out the bag & now more transparent than what they realize. A person isn't missing out on not having them in their life...actually your life is 200% better without them in your life.
When in the presence of one, notice how eager they will become to get your attention, when you ignore them and react in a nonchalant manner to any of the interaction attempts. It's very difficult for them to handle & take it very personal. Do not buy into any of their charm techniques...they just want to use you for "narcissistic supply"; btw is not my term but one I learned from a book I read & can't remember the name of the book at this moment. Self-care Up,✌...Green Love aka Self-Love...Go Green💚...Its worth it! 💚🤣.
One interesting little thing that helps,
is to wear white, especially around toxic and negative people! Why?
The colour black absorbs these dark energies!
🧡
This is true
Proven by my narsist wife usually tells me I look great and then all of sudden positiveness spreads with a white shirt
@@AndromedaSirius 🎼🎶🕊️💙😇
First sign to look for, ever meet someone and ur think they’re laughing with you but then u walk away feeling like they were laughing at u but in disguise? Trust me u give them that one freebie and their greed kicks in and they come back for more, they won’t be finished until they strip u of ur confidence and dignity
Yes, anyone who makes fun of you when they are playing victim it's the GAMES that they are playing to make you feel bad....it has happened to the over and over...the people who enabled them to grow up thinking they are special caused this behavior, mostly if they have blue eyes and think they are God's gift..
@@lisacranmer8005 especially the youngest of the family sometimes grow up to be man-child, they learn early on how to triangulate for example in trouble with mom, runs to grandma, argument right there, not getting enough attention, throws a sibling under the bus, they bring that behavior into adulthood
Yeah a narcissist behaves similar to Kevin’s older brother in that Home Alone Movie they do or say something to trigger you usually in a public setting and if you react they make you look like the troublemaker and when everyone’s back is turned they taunt you or whisper something in your ears to let you know that they got one over on you and no one will believe you.
@@GuardianAngel.. I would say in his case he was the baby of the family until the younger one came and stole the attention away from him
As a female I also do the "guy nod"... I'm sure I can't be the only female doing this.. great information here, thanks for sharing!
You're welcome, thank you for being here 🧡
I was thinking the same thing 🤣
But my 3 main planetary placements are "mutable and masculine", so who knows 😎
I was told by one notable narc in my life, " I don't need you any more - I can do you." I had to laugh! It proves narcs are constructed and not natural.
I agree, getting therapy is just more info they use to get more supply. Just think about the TH-camrs that are narcs, guess what they are using their problem for more attention in a way. Not all but I'm sure most are
I totally agree that some youtubers are covert narcs for sure. HG Tudor breaks it down on his channel.
I think it is interesting about the head nod being mentioned as a "man thing".... I nod at people too, people I pass while I am walking, or as a greeting when I see a friend. I notice too, when I nod at people I don't know it is the "low nod" or less exposing my neck or jugular. It's not just a man thing. For me it is an acknowledgement, a "I see you" or a "silent hello". Depending on my mood, I may flash a smile with the nod too. Any other ladies nod?
Yep. I nod a lot too
As a female, I nod at men who speak to me I dont know. That's when I was young and younger. Because I found to speak was an invitation for interaction. So being gorgeous, I nodded a lot.
Not a lot of this person's book is resonating with me. It feels more like astrology.
Amen! I am so broken. Narcissists have the same brain…and it matches the brains of psychopaths!
I am soo baffled the voice thing just blew my mind. My ex would always deep3nd his voice it was like a complete character change and always for others he was trying to hid his abuse from!!
I feel like everyone has "some" form of narcissism nowadays
I prefer to be alone.
You're NOT missing being poor, you're missing being young!!
Lots of people are insecure and have trauma and they don't behave like narcissists. It's a choice.
My ex was, in my opinion, a covert narcissist. He was consistently cruel to me. I think he truly loved his second wife who recently died of cancer. I think she was always "sweet" but I'm not so sure she wasn't just using him. He chased her where I pursued him.