This is really a gem. "Contempt truly is emotional abuse. It is abusive and it can have the same effects as physical abuse". Thank you Dr. Julie and John Gottman, and Dr. Mark Hyman for such a wonderful dialogue.
This is sometimes very hard to do especially if one is married to an avoidant type of person. If you express how you feel, the response is “that is your problem -learn to manage your feelings”. OR “That is your reality, but it’s not the truth”.
Their research and advice can apply to every relationship. Would love to see more videos like this on your channel. Good relationships are an important key to good health.
Thank you John and Julie for so much wisdom and insight!! I attribute them to a lot of the success of my relationship. So nice to be reminded of such important practices. And thanks Mark for having them on your show! A very nice surprise 😊
The advice in this interview is very common sensical: respect and appreciate the other and show it. Love is more than just a feeling, but a daily exercise in expressing it thru acts of kindness and consideration.
Mutual respect and kindness are keys to all relationships. Once this is maintained love grows ❤ in this environment. Best wishes for all and thanks for your time discussing love 💘
Years ago, I read about a study that claimed to have found that having a ratio of "5 parts pleasure to 1 part pain" in a relationship, is the ideal ratio to keep the relationship going. The authors of the study claimed that if the ratio of "pleasure to pain" gets to be lower than 5:1, the relationship may be in jeopardy. And the lower the ratio gets, the less likely it is that the relationship will last. And that makes sense. I mean, who would want to remain in a relationship , if the amount of pain outweighs the amount of pleasure? So according to those researchers, for amount of pain that occurs in the relationship, compensate for it by introducing 5 parts pleasure. Otherwise, the relationship might be in jeopardy.
Is there any information on what to do in marriages where one partner has ADHD (the inattentive type)? I find it difficult to get my partner's attention in general.
The money thing tho. Unless it's about making money w a true passion and you can and do invest that in someone else to do the chores you should otherwise do like hiring a cleaning-help and it's just the hourly equivalent of the chores you'r just being away. You'r not a friends or persuing a hobby. So it's really just dedicating time away that you could spend w your s/o. Way nicer to actually spend time cuddeling them or similar
You noticed how the Dr's didn't "bite" with your example of President Trump? Wrong place to bring up divisive example. Furthermore, commenting like everyone agrees with you is quite presumptuous. As physician in are in a position of authority therefore you should remain neutral keeping your politics to yourself. Was going to subscribe after video but not anymore. However, I plan follow the Gottman's and purchase their material. Thank for the interview.
@@TonganJedisee how easily you just told 75 million people that you’re probably not very open minded? Who did it hurt more, 75 million people who lost a nobody or somebody who lost 75 million people?
I have found that I need more than a one-word response. My BF uses one word when he doesn't understand, and just wants to sound like he's listening. Then he doesn't ask me any questions, so the conversation is a waste of effort.
Probably the main reason for the decline of relationships is the rise of feminism. Feminism is little more than contempt of men by women reflecting the general pervasive feminist culture.
It's interesting to me 😂👍that she started out giving an example of a beautiful bird.. Because Dr Mark Hyman has liked some of my videos and publications on insta but non of my publications about the animals..😂🤷♀️ She unconsciously wants to point it out.. Women have intuition and more love for animals than men..💕 I have a friend, a fifty years old man, he sees a cow - he sees a steak.. And of course he's single.. 😂😝
Actually it's my husband that is almost daily pointing out a bird, frog, cat antics, what the chickens are doing, etc taking pics, asking me to look. I enjoy looking and but he's the one outside observing nature and wanting to share. He has male friends like that too.
Loved every bit of the interview until the host decided to sneak in a nasty political comment, showing his own contempt for half of the population of this country.
This is really a gem.
"Contempt truly is emotional abuse. It is abusive and it can have the same effects as physical abuse".
Thank you Dr. Julie and John Gottman, and Dr. Mark Hyman for such a wonderful dialogue.
The best of all worlds, a pioneer in holistic medicine interviewing the experts in preventing divorce!
This is sometimes very hard to do especially if one is married to an avoidant type of person. If you express how you feel, the response is “that is your problem -learn to manage your feelings”. OR “That is your reality, but it’s not the truth”.
It does take two....
Oof, sounds like whoever you're married to needs to learn how to be supportive and a listener
Their research and advice can apply to every relationship. Would love to see more videos like this on your channel. Good relationships are an important key to good health.
Thank you John and Julie for so much wisdom and insight!! I attribute them to a lot of the success of my relationship. So nice to be reminded of such important practices. And thanks Mark for having them on your show! A very nice surprise 😊
True
Show interest in and actually care about your partner to stay together forever… simple
That is so true. You summed it up perfectly Liza!
99999988g@@EnjoyingYourLifeWithJesus
The advice in this interview is very common sensical: respect and appreciate the other and show it. Love is more than just a feeling, but a daily exercise in expressing it thru acts of kindness and consideration.
Mutual respect and kindness are keys to all relationships. Once this is maintained love grows ❤ in this environment. Best wishes for all and thanks for your time discussing love 💘
One of the best episodes I’ve watched on your channel❤
Thank you, very helpful advice.
I think to have partner is not easy anymore now a days
This is what I am looking for to improve my coaching skills ! Thank you for the very valuable show 🙏
Excelente thank you 😊
Years ago, I read about a study that claimed to have found that having a ratio of "5 parts pleasure to 1 part pain" in a relationship, is the ideal ratio to keep the relationship going. The authors of the study claimed that if the ratio of "pleasure to pain" gets to be lower than 5:1, the relationship may be in jeopardy. And the lower the ratio gets, the less likely it is that the relationship will last. And that makes sense. I mean, who would want to remain in a relationship , if the amount of pain outweighs the amount of pleasure?
So according to those researchers, for amount of pain that occurs in the relationship, compensate for it by introducing 5 parts pleasure. Otherwise, the relationship might be in jeopardy.
Is there any information on what to do in marriages where one partner has ADHD (the inattentive type)? I find it difficult to get my partner's attention in general.
Thank goodness Dr.Mark has a tan. I was worried about his coloring.Very worried. I realize lighting manipulates these things,too. ❤
The secret to sexual desire = love, respect & compassion between two committed people
definitely not
@@noone-yx3fl it’s almost Lille everyone is u due in what we find attractive and desirous…… which is exactly the point.
Love this 💖💖💖
I love them.
The money thing tho. Unless it's about making money w a true passion and you can and do invest that in someone else to do the chores you should otherwise do like hiring a cleaning-help and it's just the hourly equivalent of the chores you'r just being away. You'r not a friends or persuing a hobby. So it's really just dedicating time away that you could spend w your s/o. Way nicer to actually spend time cuddeling them or similar
Hi Mark.
Thank you for another great vid.
It is my relationship changer for myself and my partner.
Stay cool and groovy
🔴⚪️🔴⚪️🔴⚪️W🇨🇦
You noticed how the Dr's didn't "bite" with your example of President Trump? Wrong place to bring up divisive example. Furthermore, commenting like everyone agrees with you is quite presumptuous. As physician in are in a position of authority therefore you should remain neutral keeping your politics to yourself. Was going to subscribe after video but not anymore. However, I plan follow the Gottman's and purchase their material. Thank for the interview.
Life is politics. Any decent human being recognizes Trump is trash and should never be afraid of saying so.
@@TonganJedisee how easily you just told 75 million people that you’re probably not very open minded? Who did it hurt more, 75 million people who lost a nobody or somebody who lost 75 million people?
Oh NY God!! The G's Beauties and my beloved Doc H!! ❤️❤️❤️ Feast for the Soul here Alert!!
Downside: It's Only 55 minutes 🥺😭🙏🏽
Dr, why your website doesn't contain different ppl, color? Are you a Christian?
I have found that I need more than a one-word response. My BF uses one word when he doesn't understand, and just wants to sound like he's listening. Then he doesn't ask me any questions, so the conversation is a waste of effort.
Agree
❤👍👩❤️👨
Probably the main reason for the decline of relationships is the rise of feminism. Feminism is little more than contempt of men by women reflecting the general pervasive feminist culture.
Last president? Cut the ba
It's interesting to me 😂👍that she started out giving an example of a beautiful bird.. Because Dr Mark Hyman has liked some of my videos and publications on insta but non of my publications about the animals..😂🤷♀️ She unconsciously wants to point it out.. Women have intuition and more love for animals than men..💕 I have a friend, a fifty years old man, he sees a cow - he sees a steak.. And of course he's single.. 😂😝
Actually it's my husband that is almost daily pointing out a bird, frog, cat antics, what the chickens are doing, etc taking pics, asking me to look. I enjoy looking and but he's the one outside observing nature and wanting to share. He has male friends like that too.
Women having more intuition and love for animals is not true,
BS. look, for love forever and you won't find it, love looks for you...
False. Love is a decision.
Infatuation and lust are feelings that find you.
@@lizaltmiller2657 YES, thank you, LOVE is a decision. You choose.
Love is intentional. It's not just going to fall in your lap. You have to put in the work.
Loved every bit of the interview until the host decided to sneak in a nasty political comment, showing his own contempt for half of the population of this country.