We are all human and being human comes with emotion. The idea of being out into a box with 'strong' or ' tough' as a stereotype, is so antiquated. I'm British and the idea of 'stiff upper lip' and showing no emotion was so engrained, it's only my generation that are allowed to express anything whatsoever. My grandparents (both dead) really fucked up my dad. Now he has Alzheimer's, his filter and inability to hold back has released a flood of emotion. I've never seen anything like this from him, but it is all pouring out right now! The biggest fuck up and biggest lesson in my life was. 20 years ago when I was cheated on and it broke my heart so badly, I was drinking a LOT to cope and I tried talking to other male friends about it and was always shut down. So I learned to bottle everything unless I wanted to be alone and never talk about anything.
@@yolojabromeo-xw8ft I like Brene Brown but all I can say is I find vulnerability attractive as do most of my friends but theres still a long way to go in society. I live in the UK.
@@SG-ku9zo That's a roundabout way of saying that for you personally, you find it attractive. But that it's not true for the general population. Because that is what the research shows. It might be a nice thought to think we can overcome these biological instincts through social conditioning but in my opinion it's just not realistic or feasible. in my personal experience (having dated not one but TWO mental health therapists - one was a RN gone masters of social work and the other worked with a local mental health association) is that any claim that women actually find vulnerability attractive is bullshit. These were women trained in psychology, who knew better, who were familiar with vulnerability and how the sexes respond, and they still lacked the self awareness to identify their bias and disgust at it. I actually read Brene browns book and tested vulnerability against dozens of women I was dating. The results were hilarious. Then I met a good woman who was able to see past it - to a point. She still gets visibly upset, angry, irritable, shows disgust and negative body language when I am vulnerable. But at least she has the strength to overcome it. It's a very rare trait though so we should NOT be telling men vulnerability is okay. Honesty and saying vulnerable things can be attractive because honesty is what builds connection. Being actually vulnerable is not. Men need to be extra careful to say vulnerable things from a position or lens of strength. Every man knows as soon as they are actually vulnerable - every woman looks at them like they are a disgusting human being. They get angry at him, they become combatative and argue. It's just how it is.
There is a balance that I hope men can find. And I hope the partners in their lives are accepting of that balance. To me, the strong silent type is exhausting and gets old really fast.
I’m a very strong, independent woman, I’ve dealt with a lot on my own. I am also vulnerable, and will talk about my feelings. Men and women, same species, so we can have strong vulnerable men.
I believe it takes a strong man to be open, honest and yes, vulnerable. I don’t think most men understand that nuance and the very thing they see as a weakness is that which would make them stronger and more resilient 🙌🏼🙌🏼 DOAC, Thanks for sharing this clip! 🫶🏻
Nah, when its convenient a lot of women will use a man's vulnerability against him. For the ones who don't do that, I celebrate you. But most enjoy seeing a man's vulnerability, then wait for the right moment to throw it in his face or as some type of leverage.
@@Sarah-with-an-H He expressed his honest opinions and emotions on the matter, and you used them to blame him for his past experiences. Ironically, you’re proving his point-unless you’re admitting to being dysfunctional and toxic yourself.
In my experience women often SAY they want men to be more sensitive or emotional but what they really mean is that women want men to be sensitive to THEIR emotions, they want a man to hold space/listen empathetically to the women’s expression not so much the other way around. Actually holding emotional support for a man to express anything but strength and support is rare. I don’t mean just a smile and a hug but listening openly ( and non-defensively) to difficult or unpleasant emotions is something I only experience from other men. Should a man dare express a feeling that is difficult, vulnerable, or worse yet uncomplimentary or unsupportive to his female partner or her desires, the desire or ability for her to hold that with compassion or empathy drops off a cliff. Maybe I’m attracting the wrong kind of person; I hope this isn’t true for everyone.
It’s really a teaching moment on both sides. I had to teach my partner how be vulnerable and speak his emotions even if it is difficult or unpleasant. He in turn teaches me how to be gentle, flexible, and patient. He is definitely better at loving unconditionally. Once you open that box you really see how fragile a man can be and how to care for them sensitively.. and how to support them better. I’ve learned so much from my long term relationship and it’s all about letting the ego go. 😅 If you’re unwilling to teach or they are unwilling to learn then there’s still some growing needed and maybe therapy. Not everyone has the capacity or capability to emotionally support others unfortunately.
I took their test in marriage counseling with my hubby. To be honest when a strong man does become vulnerable that turns off many women. Which is insane to me because that’s what they claim they want. Also loved the song mention. Been together for 16 years and he has always sent songs when he couldn’t find the words. Which opened convos depending upon said song. 🎵 I adore he does this and still swoops me up in house and dances with me. We are far from the “Great married couple “, however we are showing our kids real love, real life. And screw that happy wife happy life bull shit 😂
It does turn off women more than ppl would admit and men know this , because we've experienced it first hand. There are less than a handful of occasions that men are allowed to be emotional with their gf/wife. Outside of those instances and we're fucked .lol
@@island97which is absolutely crap! Should either side be a crying mess weekly no! However when men are struggling and worried about finances, providing, health and all of sudden they are pissy. women need to understand it’s 1 of the 3. We as wives/gf are supposed to be a man’s peace, his calm when those items become to much. In this current society many females lose amazing men cause they don’t want to be a true partner. IMO
@@animatedaries6806 here's the thing never take your frustrations out on your partner have an outlet to channel that frustration into. Vulnerability doesn't mean somebody is a crying mess I'm beginning to think men are confusing what vulnerability actually is. Vulnerability is a show that you can afford to take a risk and stay on top. What y'all are suggesting as vulnerability isn't it's actually weakness. There's a difference
I'm glad I'm not the only one who caught that. I found that to be the most ridiculous notion discussed here. Overall, I enjoy listening to the Gottmans' insights, but that was absurd.
When showing emotions is considered feminine and femininity is considered less important than being masculine, yes, her statement is borne out by our cultural reality in the west.
Agreed! Completely disagree with the idea that it's because woman are viewed as 2nd class citizens. I think it's because women are so ruled by feelings and feelings aren't really to be trusted. I think men know that which is probably why they don't share them so much. Also I find when my partner is in his feelings and talking a lot about them, and despite my compassion and capacity to receive them, that he doesn't feel very good about himself like a girlfriend would... perhaps that cultural conditioning and perhaps this is too general but I want to say it's because you can't solve a feeling and in general men want to solve problems.
As young girls we never sat together on the playground and talked about emotions, we played! As teenagers, yes, we talked more about that, to close friends.
It's a shameful analysis to start with the assertion that women are second class citizens and follow it by, "right"? Like you are trying to suggest it's a meta truth.
@@badam2235That's untrue. It's the weak immature men that we can't deal with they are lose cannons unpredictable and narcissistic in nature not recognizing their physical strength is a double edged sword that can be used for good or evil.
This and a lot of the men commenting are so weak they think differently not realizing an actual strong man is very capable of vulnerability because he's mature strong calm and capable.
"make a date to have a talk about it" is important: but if she blows up your world just prior to your agreed-upon date of adjudication, it's intentional...run
i agree that vulnerable emotions are not just feminine , i think it has a lot to do with the environment and how we perceive boys and teach them to be. As a therapist who has half and half male female clients i can attest to this. I believe that for men accessing their pain, fear, needs brings up such shame as it goes against the ingrained Male Model , so yes they divorce from those emotions and i would say shove them often under the carpet of agressivity , irritation. The more men show up vulnerable and authentic in the media , like you are doing, the more the imprint of what is a Male will encompass the beauty of and strenght of that vulnerability, I would add women have also a challenge around Anger ... that's another subject !
Emotions are a liability. I learned a long time ago to never, ever show emotion. Never show vulnerability. It can and will be used against you. It's just a matter of time. Stoicism is the best approach. That way, nobody can ever exploit you, scam you, or use you.
I had to turn 36 years old, get married and become mother of twins to understand why men can not be vulnerable, sensitive, emotional etc because if he let himself to be as a woman or childish my life will turn into hell. We both struggle to raise our children and i hardly have strength to bare any kind of emotional shit I need him to be sober, focused, and tranquil.
I think emotions very much built the world - ego, pride, lust, anger, desire (for power, land, etc), jealousy. From prehistory to ancient history to modern history, these emotions dictated leadership, dominance, conflict, war, exploration, and every aspect that "built the world." Even to say that "hard work and discipline" are non-emotional isn't accurate to the human experience. How are we taught to value these things? Either through love (parents or society praising or positively rewarding them), shame/fear/punishment (when we exhibit other traits or aren't "good enough"). Emotions build society and built the world
That is just a part of the truth because in reality emontions are part of human life . If you switch off your emontions who will you become ? a stone ? Anesthesia is like a disease .
@@karethap8827 yh but sitting down talking about your emotions gets nothing done. Women can do it if they want but men express themselves differently. We’re not the same and that’s fine.
It's called lived experience. Your criticism is intended to silence men telling their lived experience.Apparently the truth is misogynistic. It's only misogynistic if you have a Victorian conception of women - harmless, empathetic, gentle, nurturing and nothing more..
@@jamesdoyle2769 I don't have a clue what you are talking about, but someone commented that he thinks that women shouldn't vote or drive cars because of their emotions (I'm not sure if he deleted his comment by now/ or if it got deleted by someone else)... and by the time I was reading the comments, there were quite a few voices that went into a similar direction. Men talking about their experiences and the expectations they are facing is totally fine and ofc valid. But regardless of some of the experiences that are being shared here, the statement, that women are second-class citizens, is not controversial.
@@ArtfulDodger566 CompartMENTALization can be good or bad. Woman and men can do it. It's how we survive horrible things and SOME justify the horrible things. Drugs, not limited to or excluding alcohol as well as doctor prescribed and illicit drugs AND also mindsets of others in your life. This includes religious infections.
I feel like the KEY caveat that is missing here is: authenticity. You can create rituals and playbooks on human relating but unless people embody gratitude and these positive virtues then we will feel the hollowness of the insincerity. Also why technology based human interactions almost always lack sustenance & now with AI 😔
Doing it constantly doesn't make you better but it does make your proficient in it. Doing it the most is a double edge sword. At best it allows for connection and a real balance. Trying to make two perfect people who do both perfectly don't really need nor want each other. (They're too alike). Men don't vocalize they output through action....a non-verbal language. It works between men but not so much across the aisle which is really the main reason to learn it and vice versa.
Men are external facing women are internal facing and that explains why men are more action oriented overall. Why they are more visual creatures appreciating beauty. And why women are more mental and intuitive. Neither is negative, both are strengths in different arenas. Women should be respected for their intuitive gifts just as much as men are respected for their capabilities of building and protecting
I'm really sick of the sex stereotyping of these days. Plenty of men talk to me about how they feel and plenty of women I know won't. It really puts the sexes against each other. Sub the word men and women first people were not that different!
Ironically you have to get to a career to afford a $400/h therapist to come to realisations making money is not necessarily the most important thing in life😂
I've noticed recently even with myself, sharing my feelings with my counsellor makes me inactive. It seems vulnerability might be a motivation destabiliser removing urgency, initiation & active motives, which is characteristically Masculine traits.
Well I think it's important to realize that woman idealize men to NOT show emotions by stating/behaving in a way that articulates "icks". That doesn't mean men think woman are trash and their behaviors too, what a condescending comment to make. It's a scary common story for men on lets say reddit, a man goes through a big hardship and shortly after the woman leaves the man. This is too common of a story, but its never talked about. But do woman actually want to behave that maliciously? Which I think alot of men are sitting in the back worrying about. Why not ever validate these realities. Men aren't budging right now for a reason.
While I do like the Gottmans, I think their assessment is off here. In other aspects of this interview they have used evolutionary psychology as a robust defense against curb side philosophy thinking regarding mate attraction that assumes that compatibility is important. However, in their analysis here, they rely on social theory to explain why men are quick to hide their feelings. This view fails to explain how men compete in a hierarchy and why those emotions might be hard to detect. In the words of Ricard Reeves, this "reduces men to malfunctioning women."
Why a woman - member of group which is notorious for mental instability throughout whole life is asking question " why is it wrong for a man to be emotional" is this a joke episode?
📺 Watch the full episode here
th-cam.com/video/H9kPmiV0B34/w-d-xo.html&ab_channel=TheDiaryOfACEO
I'm a therapist and I love working with men. Some very empathic and highly sensitive men out there. 😊
We are all human and being human comes with emotion. The idea of being out into a box with 'strong' or ' tough' as a stereotype, is so antiquated.
I'm British and the idea of 'stiff upper lip' and showing no emotion was so engrained, it's only my generation that are allowed to express anything whatsoever.
My grandparents (both dead) really fucked up my dad. Now he has Alzheimer's, his filter and inability to hold back has released a flood of emotion. I've never seen anything like this from him, but it is all pouring out right now!
The biggest fuck up and biggest lesson in my life was. 20 years ago when I was cheated on and it broke my heart so badly, I was drinking a LOT to cope and I tried talking to other male friends about it and was always shut down. So I learned to bottle everything unless I wanted to be alone and never talk about anything.
what are your thoughts on Brene brown's work on vulnerability then?
@@yolojabromeo-xw8ft I like Brene Brown but all I can say is I find vulnerability attractive as do most of my friends but theres still a long way to go in society. I live in the UK.
@@SG-ku9zo That's a roundabout way of saying that for you personally, you find it attractive. But that it's not true for the general population. Because that is what the research shows. It might be a nice thought to think we can overcome these biological instincts through social conditioning but in my opinion it's just not realistic or feasible.
in my personal experience (having dated not one but TWO mental health therapists - one was a RN gone masters of social work and the other worked with a local mental health association) is that any claim that women actually find vulnerability attractive is bullshit. These were women trained in psychology, who knew better, who were familiar with vulnerability and how the sexes respond, and they still lacked the self awareness to identify their bias and disgust at it.
I actually read Brene browns book and tested vulnerability against dozens of women I was dating. The results were hilarious.
Then I met a good woman who was able to see past it - to a point. She still gets visibly upset, angry, irritable, shows disgust and negative body language when I am vulnerable. But at least she has the strength to overcome it. It's a very rare trait though so we should NOT be telling men vulnerability is okay.
Honesty and saying vulnerable things can be attractive because honesty is what builds connection. Being actually vulnerable is not. Men need to be extra careful to say vulnerable things from a position or lens of strength. Every man knows as soon as they are actually vulnerable - every woman looks at them like they are a disgusting human being. They get angry at him, they become combatative and argue. It's just how it is.
There is a balance that I hope men can find. And I hope the partners in their lives are accepting of that balance. To me, the strong silent type is exhausting and gets old really fast.
I’m a very strong, independent woman, I’ve dealt with a lot on my own. I am also vulnerable, and will talk about my feelings. Men and women, same species, so we can have strong vulnerable men.
Nope
@@ZS71we can but y'all think men who've failed and are weak equates to being vulnerable and that's not vulnerability
Nope.
Women weaponize emotions.
You might be the exceptional exception, but the majority of women rip men to shreds.
If your making decisions based on feelings you're a child, plain and simple
Nope not if you are female and over 18... you can vote and drive :D
Yup.
Feelings are indicators of whether something is right or wrong. Do you remember 'gut feeling'?
Hmmm 🤔 that's dumb. In certain situations don't you think?
I believe it takes a strong man to be open, honest and yes, vulnerable. I don’t think most men understand that nuance and the very thing they see as a weakness is that which would make them stronger and more resilient 🙌🏼🙌🏼 DOAC, Thanks for sharing this clip! 🫶🏻
Nah, when its convenient a lot of women will use a man's vulnerability against him. For the ones who don't do that, I celebrate you. But most enjoy seeing a man's vulnerability, then wait for the right moment to throw it in his face or as some type of leverage.
Sure be strong and watch your woman get turned off and lose respect and attraction to you
Absolutely vulnerability takes enough strength to take a risk
@@darylallen2485 that's a sign that you are dysfunctional and attracting dysfunctional people
@@Sarah-with-an-H He expressed his honest opinions and emotions on the matter, and you used them to blame him for his past experiences.
Ironically, you’re proving his point-unless you’re admitting to being dysfunctional and toxic yourself.
In my experience women often SAY they want men to be more sensitive or emotional but what they really mean is that women want men to be sensitive to THEIR emotions, they want a man to hold space/listen empathetically to the women’s expression not so much the other way around. Actually holding emotional support for a man to express anything but strength and support is rare. I don’t mean just a smile and a hug but listening openly ( and non-defensively) to difficult or unpleasant emotions is something I only experience from other men. Should a man dare express a feeling that is difficult, vulnerable, or worse yet uncomplimentary or unsupportive to his female partner or her desires, the desire or ability for her to hold that with compassion or empathy drops off a cliff. Maybe I’m attracting the wrong kind of person; I hope this isn’t true for everyone.
No your are correct.
Nailed it 🤷🏻♂️
It’s really a teaching moment on both sides. I had to teach my partner how be vulnerable and speak his emotions even if it is difficult or unpleasant. He in turn teaches me how to be gentle, flexible, and patient. He is definitely better at loving unconditionally. Once you open that box you really see how fragile a man can be and how to care for them sensitively.. and how to support them better. I’ve learned so much from my long term relationship and it’s all about letting the ego go. 😅
If you’re unwilling to teach or they are unwilling to learn then there’s still some growing needed and maybe therapy. Not everyone has the capacity or capability to emotionally support others unfortunately.
@@RoyalRadiantJadeNicely put
You're correct dude.
I took their test in marriage counseling with my hubby. To be honest when a strong man does become vulnerable that turns off many women. Which is insane to me because that’s what they claim they want.
Also loved the song mention. Been together for 16 years and he has always sent songs when he couldn’t find the words. Which opened convos depending upon said song. 🎵 I adore he does this and still swoops me up in house and dances with me. We are far from the “Great married couple “, however we are showing our kids real love, real life. And screw that happy wife happy life bull shit 😂
It does turn off women more than ppl would admit and men know this , because we've experienced it first hand. There are less than a handful of occasions that men are allowed to be emotional with their gf/wife. Outside of those instances and we're fucked .lol
@@island97which is absolutely crap! Should either side be a crying mess weekly no! However when men are struggling and worried about finances, providing, health and all of sudden they are pissy. women need to understand it’s 1 of the 3. We as wives/gf are supposed to be a man’s peace, his calm when those items become to much. In this current society many females lose amazing men cause they don’t want to be a true partner. IMO
Vulnerability turns of the individuals that are wrong for them it's not going to turn off the right person
@@animatedaries6806 here's the thing never take your frustrations out on your partner have an outlet to channel that frustration into. Vulnerability doesn't mean somebody is a crying mess I'm beginning to think men are confusing what vulnerability actually is. Vulnerability is a show that you can afford to take a risk and stay on top. What y'all are suggesting as vulnerability isn't it's actually weakness. There's a difference
@@Sarah-with-an-HI do think some men are thinking the EXTREME end of emotional vulnerability.
Did she really say men don't show emotion cause we see women as "second class citizens"
I think she was referring to society as a whole, not just men.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who caught that. I found that to be the most ridiculous notion discussed here.
Overall, I enjoy listening to the Gottmans' insights, but that was absurd.
Total nonsense.
When showing emotions is considered feminine and femininity is considered less important than being masculine, yes, her statement is borne out by our cultural reality in the west.
Agreed! Completely disagree with the idea that it's because woman are viewed as 2nd class citizens. I think it's because women are so ruled by feelings and feelings aren't really to be trusted. I think men know that which is probably why they don't share them so much. Also I find when my partner is in his feelings and talking a lot about them, and despite my compassion and capacity to receive them, that he doesn't feel very good about himself like a girlfriend would... perhaps that cultural conditioning and perhaps this is too general but I want to say it's because you can't solve a feeling and in general men want to solve problems.
As young girls we never sat together on the playground and talked about emotions, we played! As teenagers, yes, we talked more about that, to close friends.
@@Pamela-dr2xn We definitely were playing more than talking.
"They're the Managers of Intimacy"
OOOH THIS IS GOLD👌👌👌
It's a shameful analysis to start with the assertion that women are second class citizens and follow it by, "right"? Like you are trying to suggest it's a meta truth.
She lost me from the start on that. Women are second class citizens in 2024? Yeah, right.
Why can’t we all just be human - no one is outside of emotions.
Because women does not benefit greatly from men having emotions.
@@badam2235That's untrue. It's the weak immature men that we can't deal with they are lose cannons unpredictable and narcissistic in nature not recognizing their physical strength is a double edged sword that can be used for good or evil.
@@badam2235Excuse me, are you a woman? We do benefit from men having healthy emotions. Emotionally disconnected men tend to harm us.
There are different interpretations of strong. Women like strong men, strong meaning dependable calm reasonable mature etc, not physical bullies.
This and a lot of the men commenting are so weak they think differently not realizing an actual strong man is very capable of vulnerability because he's mature strong calm and capable.
"make a date to have a talk about it" is important: but if she blows up your world just prior to your agreed-upon date of adjudication, it's intentional...run
i agree that vulnerable emotions are not just feminine , i think it has a lot to do with the environment and how we perceive boys and teach them to be. As a therapist who has half and half male female clients i can attest to this. I believe that for men accessing their pain, fear, needs brings up such shame as it goes against the ingrained Male Model , so yes they divorce from those emotions and i would say shove them often under the carpet of agressivity , irritation. The more men show up vulnerable and authentic in the media , like you are doing, the more the imprint of what is a Male will encompass the beauty of and strenght of that vulnerability, I would add women have also a challenge around Anger ... that's another subject !
Emontions and feelings are part of our human life is not something you can switch off ( not matter if you are boy or girl , man or a woman ).
You can't switch it off ,but you can control how you express it to others.
@@island97that takes maturity and some people never grow up.
Wow i love both of them and you host them again❤
I've heard this my whole life... Tell me your feelings. What are you feeling.? Idk.
Emotions are a liability. I learned a long time ago to never, ever show emotion. Never show vulnerability. It can and will be used against you. It's just a matter of time.
Stoicism is the best approach. That way, nobody can ever exploit you, scam you, or use you.
This is a bit extreme. Maybe choosing the right people to share things with?
If they’re your doctors, fire them.
You can tell those people have never been to deer camp
I love this woman❤ and she’a so sweet and nice
I had to turn 36 years old, get married and become mother of twins to understand why men can not be vulnerable, sensitive, emotional etc because if he let himself to be as a woman or childish my life will turn into hell. We both struggle to raise our children and i hardly have strength to bare any kind of emotional shit I need him to be sober, focused, and tranquil.
I love love love this couple 🦋💙
I love this couple! I aspire to this. 💞
Emotions didn’t build the world. Hard work and discipline did. Most emotions are trivial and fleeting. Compartmentalise and do what needs to be done.
I think emotions very much built the world - ego, pride, lust, anger, desire (for power, land, etc), jealousy. From prehistory to ancient history to modern history, these emotions dictated leadership, dominance, conflict, war, exploration, and every aspect that "built the world." Even to say that "hard work and discipline" are non-emotional isn't accurate to the human experience. How are we taught to value these things? Either through love (parents or society praising or positively rewarding them), shame/fear/punishment (when we exhibit other traits or aren't "good enough"). Emotions build society and built the world
That is just a part of the truth because in reality emontions are part of human life .
If you switch off your emontions who will you become ? a stone ?
Anesthesia is like a disease .
@@karethap8827 emotions didn't and neither did discipline or hardwork. it is the male need of status.
@@karethap8827 yh but sitting down talking about your emotions gets nothing done. Women can do it if they want but men express themselves differently. We’re not the same and that’s fine.
100000%
What's going on with all these misogynistic comments? :D
It's called lived experience. Your criticism is intended to silence men telling their lived experience.Apparently the truth is misogynistic. It's only misogynistic if you have a Victorian conception of women - harmless, empathetic, gentle, nurturing and nothing more..
@@jamesdoyle2769 I don't have a clue what you are talking about, but someone commented that he thinks that women shouldn't vote or drive cars because of their emotions (I'm not sure if he deleted his comment by now/ or if it got deleted by someone else)... and by the time I was reading the comments, there were quite a few voices that went into a similar direction.
Men talking about their experiences and the expectations they are facing is totally fine and ofc valid. But regardless of some of the experiences that are being shared here, the statement, that women are second-class citizens, is not controversial.
This channel is full of Inschmels.
There most be an evolutionary advantage to mens ability to compartmentalize. And vice versa.
@@ArtfulDodger566 CompartMENTALization can be good or bad. Woman and men can do it. It's how we survive horrible things and SOME justify the horrible things. Drugs, not limited to or excluding alcohol as well as doctor prescribed and illicit drugs AND also mindsets of others in your life. This includes religious infections.
I feel like the KEY caveat that is missing here is: authenticity. You can create rituals and playbooks on human relating but unless people embody gratitude and these positive virtues then we will feel the hollowness of the insincerity. Also why technology based human interactions almost always lack sustenance & now with AI 😔
Doing it constantly doesn't make you better but it does make your proficient in it. Doing it the most is a double edge sword. At best it allows for connection and a real balance. Trying to make two perfect people who do both perfectly don't really need nor want each other. (They're too alike). Men don't vocalize they output through action....a non-verbal language. It works between men but not so much across the aisle which is really the main reason to learn it and vice versa.
Men are external facing women are internal facing and that explains why men are more action oriented overall. Why they are more visual creatures appreciating beauty. And why women are more mental and intuitive. Neither is negative, both are strengths in different arenas. Women should be respected for their intuitive gifts just as much as men are respected for their capabilities of building and protecting
I'm really sick of the sex stereotyping of these days. Plenty of men talk to me about how they feel and plenty of women I know won't. It really puts the sexes against each other. Sub the word men and women first people were not that different!
Ironically you have to get to a career to afford a $400/h therapist to come to realisations making money is not necessarily the most important thing in life😂
I've noticed recently even with myself, sharing my feelings with my counsellor makes me inactive.
It seems vulnerability might be a motivation destabiliser removing urgency, initiation & active motives, which is characteristically Masculine traits.
It would make men less aggressive. That would be good for women, because we're tired of the aggression.
They both look like cult leaders
Sex cult?
@MrShaneSunshine just an oddball cult.
My husband cries at the drop of a hat. He's very sensitive and sentimental.
I secretly hate it.
Secretly.. will hold you back. Intolerance to your partner's behaviors will push them away. :)
Yeah I'm a man and it's extremely hard for me to cry. I think I only cry once a year if that.
Well I think it's important to realize that woman idealize men to NOT show emotions by stating/behaving in a way that articulates "icks". That doesn't mean men think woman are trash and their behaviors too, what a condescending comment to make.
It's a scary common story for men on lets say reddit, a man goes through a big hardship and shortly after the woman leaves the man. This is too common of a story, but its never talked about. But do woman actually want to behave that maliciously? Which I think alot of men are sitting in the back worrying about. Why not ever validate these realities. Men aren't budging right now for a reason.
This is all bs and I’m a woman. I do t want a hairy woman, I want a masculine man.
Mrs. Robinson.....are you trying to seduce me? 😂
I think it's time to acknowledge that pretending men don't have emotions is kinda silly.
While I do like the Gottmans, I think their assessment is off here. In other aspects of this interview they have used evolutionary psychology as a robust defense against curb side philosophy thinking regarding mate attraction that assumes that compatibility is important. However, in their analysis here, they rely on social theory to explain why men are quick to hide their feelings. This view fails to explain how men compete in a hierarchy and why those emotions might be hard to detect. In the words of Ricard Reeves, this "reduces men to malfunctioning women."
Why a woman - member of group which is notorious for mental instability throughout whole life is asking question " why is it wrong for a man to be emotional" is this a joke episode?
Women are not the mentally unstable ones, my guy. Let's examine crime statistics to see who's mentally unstable.
Robinson Susan Lewis Carol Thomas Maria
Woke
She is delusional