@@NonsenseTreasure The original had bad audio cuts, bad graphics and the most basic of recording methods. In my opinion, the old one was trash. Hence why I even remade it.
Nah, this dude was based as fuck. I wish we could've had him as a companion so he could roast the fuck out of us while we're fighting daedra in oblivion.
@@yee2631 Oblivion Gate: *opens* *Audible sound in the distance:* "bet you thought you could show off, defeating the champion of cyrodiil, huh? you hear that, daedra? you're going to die in here....you're going to DIE." *combat music starts*
What's even funnier is how he implies that you literally just showed up since you're waking up for the first time, so you've only been in that cell for maybe a few hours at most
@@Vencidious nah apocrypha is swanky as hell if you can learn to avoid the monsters. Cold harbour though? Straight torment. It is the realm of molag bal. Although something I believe would be worse is going to Hircines hunting grounds. Not as hunter, but hunted
I can't get over the fact the first time I ever played oblivion I picked a female Breton and my sweet gentle character got called a stuck up snobby harlot. That was one heck of a first impression
@@basedbattledroid3507 I was a nord (like always), and I thought the mocking was bad… jeez. Feel bad for all the people who play dunmer females. at least he didn’t try to have sex with me…
@Christian Apocalypse Paladin I first played the game in 2009 when I was 6 years old. I just wandered around and it felt so huge and unbelievable. Then I played through it again multiple times in my middle school years. Will always hold it close as the real first rpg I ever played, and just a top tier game. Ridiculous quality.
@@basedbattledroid3507 My man, you joined with Skyrim too? After playing Skyrim I tried both Oblivion and Morrowind and they are all great in their own regard
I started playing a couple of weeks ago and is by far my favorite elder scrolls experience(still need to play morrowind next). I started with Skyrim several years ago.
@@ominouspuppet4556 I started with Skyrim but years later I decided to try the old games (Oblivion and Morrowind). In my opinion, Morrowind is still the best one, so I really recommend it!
Now I'm thinking about that one "Oblivion guards in a nutshell" meme where it was just the british cop scene from Monty Python and the Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook.
I love how they manage to give bits of character nuance across his variant dialogue, like how he seems to betray a fetish for buff human women with little preference for ethnicity with the Nord and Redguard.
A lot of people don't know but the Dark Elves are pretty much the second most racist group in Skyrim, besides the High Elves, they even had their own racially-based caste slavery system.
@@PKFireFawx right? It's not like he didn't gave a bloody third of his city to dunmer refugees. Can you imagine the dunmer giving one third of Mournhold to nord exiles?
I could remake this a lot better, use the dialogue audio files, fix the audio cuts, add in my own subtitles, use Matthew Carofano's (Oblivion's lead artist) official race drawings, and overall make it look like It wasn't made in 2012. Get 20 likes on this comment and I'll get to it. (Fun fact: I accidentally left my mic on while making this video, that's why you can hear me typing a command in the console)
"Hey, you hear that? The guards are coming.. for you! HE HE HE HE HE HA HA." This freaking line pops into my mind at random points in my life, something about that laugh I guess.
after hearing all the dialogue variations. i'd like to imagine this is this npc's routine, like a theatrical act he goes through each and every time a new inmate arrives. according to the shawshank redemption the prisoners will do many things to take their mind off that they're imprisoned --- this is his (the npc's) way of doing so :)
The first time I played Oblivion I was an Imperial and I was so surprised at how aggressive his dialogue was. Like okay, I get it, you think I'm trash holy fuck chill dude! lol
@@mr.k4918 The only bethesda title that features serious discussion of epaR is fallout new Vegas(the cook-cook npc), which, unlike oblivion, wasn't made by bethesda. So, following this logic, he probably got in there just for stalking someone or by a reason completely unrelated to his personality. I actually didn't play the dark brotherhood quest line, so I dont know if its revealed there or not
@@Tucker454It also exists in Elder scrolls even Skyrim to be specific if you ask for Sapphire story she will tell you that her family was murdered by Bandits and that they kept her as a "Trophy" passing her to one another
and here i was thinking he would comment to a khajiit a bit more like not tormenting but more actual truth as a lot of khajiit resort to crime so was expecting him to at least be less mocking to a race that is quite commonly in that very situation (behind bars) and the whole your going to die here part for a khajiit was that nessasary? as if your bounty via crime is high enough the guards attack you in the later games so he could have been like "you've done it now khajiit they will never let you out for what you've done .....even if you didnt do anything who would beleve a khajiit they would most likely kill you than let you go"
I'm sure if this game was more modern the writers would add a racism factor for awareness and a good thinking point for The Elder Scrolls universe. This is a good note.
@@zj871023 In skyim there already is a slight racism factor with orc strongholds. It's understandable with the orcs though due to their circumstances. I personally think that the elder scrolls 6 should have some kind of discrimination, because it is an rpg right?
No guys, I know there is racism in RPG settings and its fine! The problem is ppl who look at a RPG setting, identify said racism and start to draw paralells to real world stuff. Keep your politics out of my games. I dont see orcs as blacks. I see them as orcs and you should too.
Kinda makes me curious about what he would have said to a Snow Elf or a Dwemer… Yeah, yeah, both races are extinct/dying out, I know. I’m still curious!
"Oh what a rare find! A snow elf so far from home. I heard the savage Nords brought your race to extinction, and now, one of their last will die alone and afraid in an imperial prison. That's right, you will die in here Snow elf! The gods abandoned your people, and you seem to prove that it was for good reason. You hear that? The guards are coming, for you!"
@@eheh3723 "oh not so smart now Dwemer are you, aren't your little machines going to save you? Will you bend these bars with your voice? No! That's right You're going to die here You hear that? The guards are coming, for you! Ha ha ha ha"
Valen: (Makes fun of the races, that the player choosed) Many player's who almost love all the races in the same way: I'm about to end this dark elf's career once and for all.
I’ve been playing more Skyrim now but the interactions in Oblivion are SOOOOO much better💖 I remember the first time I played, as a Khajiit, and I was “Why are you talking to me like that, my dude?😭🥺” hahahahah
I've always played as a Redguard (Favorite race and lore) And I'm just realizing he talks alot if bs to other races but doesn't have much to say about Redguards. Idk whether to be sad or happy about that
I really have to wonder what manner of crimes you did to get you a life sentence when you can literally slaughter entire towns and get either a few days in prison, or a fine.
I remember praying to god I would be able to slaughter him in his cell I’ve never felt so satisfied beating someone to death with my bare hands in this game, revenge really is a dish best served cold
I've made a better version of this video! th-cam.com/video/yHHy2Q45KLs/w-d-xo.html
Wow, you've actually made it, props for that! Not sure what version is better though
@@NonsenseTreasure The original had bad audio cuts, bad graphics and the most basic of recording methods. In my opinion, the old one was trash. Hence why I even remade it.
@@novastrain9068 this version is better and feel more authentic imo
Haven't watched this in a while. Decided to come back for a rush of nostalgia.
Being able to kill this guy in the Dark Brotherhood questline was one of the best story decisions Bethesda made in the entire game.
i kept reloading it just to keep killing him most satisfying thing ever
@@Fuuka-da-goat same
Ya
Nah, this dude was based as fuck. I wish we could've had him as a companion so he could roast the fuck out of us while we're fighting daedra in oblivion.
@@yee2631 Oblivion Gate: *opens*
*Audible sound in the distance:*
"bet you thought you could show off, defeating the champion of cyrodiil, huh? you hear that, daedra? you're going to die in here....you're going to DIE."
*combat music starts*
It's deliciously funny that he says you're going to die, and then the Emperor himself gives you the chance to leave.
then the possible assasination you can pull off against him
@@Ph0n3numb3r right before he is released
"I knew it, they do play favorites!"
What's even funnier is how he implies that you literally just showed up since you're waking up for the first time, so you've only been in that cell for maybe a few hours at most
I love how the first line of the male Dark Elf dialogue sounds like he is going to be friendly, then it goes downhill.
Zarrg? Wtf are you doing here?
@@guilhermedom2228 Oh Hai El Mosco
And it goes even more downhill with the female dark elf
He assumes the male dark elf is straight and married, when he could be single or gay. Imagine how funny and awkward that would be.
Even when he meets his own kind after years of lock up and still roasts them. He needs a nice trip to the Shivering Isles to rethink his behavior.
more like coldharbor or something
@@margaretthatcherironlady1f400 more like apocrypha
Well he dwells in the loving arms of Mother Night and Father Sithis.
@@Vencidious nah apocrypha is swanky as hell if you can learn to avoid the monsters. Cold harbour though? Straight torment. It is the realm of molag bal. Although something I believe would be worse is going to Hircines hunting grounds. Not as hunter, but hunted
I don't want him in a nice place like the shivering isles, I killed him for Sithis so he can just stay in the damn void
That elf is the sole reason to join the Dark Brotherhood
As if their questline wasn't good enough already, kicking his butt is just the icing on the cake.
@@souvillaine5131 or the cherry on top.
When are you gonna start porting Oblivion?
@@jojomizugorou5305 When Rockstar releases GTA 6
Just open his cell with Warden Key :D
From an insulting dunmer in oblivion to a compassionate nord in skyrim, cant wait for tes6
Hope it's a khajiit that offers me a puff of moon sugar before the end
@@saladcollective3380 that would actually be so fucking cool but probably beyond Bethesda’s writing ability (to pull it off well that is)
@@mattnlogan101 To write, or to make?
@@saladcollective3380 Both, clearly.
Wait who does he play in Skyrim?
One of the most satisfying kills in the dark brotherhood questline:)
yeah
Wait you get to do that? Forget that divine crusader shit! I've got work to do!
@@cazador7131 lol, before you kill him, talk to him first and close the door behind you. It'll be worth it.
thanks for the all of the spoilers guys
@@emre30489 Oblivion was released in 2006.
I can't get over the fact the first time I ever played oblivion I picked a female Breton and my sweet gentle character got called a stuck up snobby harlot. That was one heck of a first impression
Honestly, I don't know quite what to say to that, haha!
Same, I mean my first character was a female dark elf and yeah, ick that got way too tense
@@basedbattledroid3507 I was a nord (like always), and I thought the mocking was bad… jeez. Feel bad for all the people who play dunmer females. at least he didn’t try to have sex with me…
Female Altmer for me and you should've seen my face. I was like: no way this guy just said that, that's amazing.
Being insulted is the best way to start an rpg, it really gives you that sense of growth when you start to earn respect.
Truly.
Plotwist: the guards are coming! For him! Hehehehehehe!
He he he he he
Hahaha
Hehehehehehe!
A dark brotherhood assassin is coming for him
That's right! He's going to DIE there. He is going to DIE in there
"You're going to die in here!"
30 seconds later
"I like the look of this guy. Lets let him out."
"You've gotta be kidding me."
A and then, few weeks later, you come back for him as Dark Brotherhood assassin :D
bruh the Argonian taunts hit different
Dunmer do have a very dark relationship with the argonians
@@eheh3723 my argonian character deeply enjoyed killing him
@@eheh3723 that joke was on an extra level, well done
you're not a dunmer, you're a punmer
@@Nova-vk5qb and my dunmer character has a argonian husband and i think its cute
@@Nova-vk5qb same
7:58 "Is the kitty hung?"
These pants make J'zargo's hard on stand out
Barbed
Ok 'Jizz- ago'
No matter what race you pick, Baurus still locks the door behind them.
Damn, he was most brutal towards his own race.
Just like real life.
Even when horny with a female one the guy still was an asshole
By the sounds of things he's not racist, he hates everyone equally
@@matthewroth6687 ahem
black population in america.
You Dunmer sure are a contentious people!
What an Optimistic and Nice Dunmer, Certainly not the kinda Dunmer You'd Shiv Eagerly even if it Gave you a sentence in a glorified pit.
His bussy is forfeit
@@orangeismyfavoritecolor sounds like your gonna knock the soap out of his hands
-Ma'iq the liar
This just shows how excellently written this game was
@Christian Apocalypse Paladin I first played the game in 2009 when I was 6 years old. I just wandered around and it felt so huge and unbelievable. Then I played through it again multiple times in my middle school years. Will always hold it close as the real first rpg I ever played, and just a top tier game. Ridiculous quality.
I only started playing it at the end of 2020 and I love it, already one of my top 3 favorite games
@@basedbattledroid3507 My man, you joined with Skyrim too? After playing Skyrim I tried both Oblivion and Morrowind and they are all great in their own regard
I started playing a couple of weeks ago and is by far my favorite elder scrolls experience(still need to play morrowind next). I started with Skyrim several years ago.
@@ominouspuppet4556 I started with Skyrim but years later I decided to try the old games (Oblivion and Morrowind). In my opinion, Morrowind is still the best one, so I really recommend it!
Most feared words:
Westeros: Winter is coming
MCU: Thanos is coming
Tamriel: The guards are coming
Now I'm thinking about that one "Oblivion guards in a nutshell" meme where it was just the british cop scene from Monty Python and the Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook.
Whitestrake is coming
For you!
@@TheRealCCall Hehehehehehehe
5:20 After his implications towards the Dunmer female the "The guards are coming... for you!" and the laugh really hit different...
Nords females are worse ! He said the guardswoild take care of you if you are a female...
I love how they manage to give bits of character nuance across his variant dialogue, like how he seems to betray a fetish for buff human women with little preference for ethnicity with the Nord and Redguard.
imagine if this was done with OG dunmer voice actor from morrowind
I'm surprised he never said "You N'wah"...
@@Lostcontroller they dropped the term sadly i think after the argonian nerevar drop kicked them
@@Lostcontroller Ah yes, the N-word of Morrowind :D
We all know they tried really hard not to make racist jokes for the Redguards.
They have curved swords…. CURVED SWORDS
@@dp_wynn5392 CURVED. SWORDS.
@@karawithgun8148 CURVED. SWORDS
@@peabrain6872 what about penises
Sassy female Redguard: You want to settle this in the prison yard madda fakka?
POV
you are a shape-shifter being dissed by the ultimate fictional racist
A lot of people don't know but the Dark Elves are pretty much the second most racist group in Skyrim, besides the High Elves, they even had their own racially-based caste slavery system.
@@shadowyshadow6498 high elves literally want to exterminate mankind, the Thalmor are basically the elf Gestapo
@@shadowyshadow6498 not canonically. The only reason the dark elves are so horrible in morrowind is to show the hostile environment
@@shadowyshadow6498 and yet, Ulfric Stormcloak is somehow the worst guy ever to people. Smdh
@@PKFireFawx right? It's not like he didn't gave a bloody third of his city to dunmer refugees. Can you imagine the dunmer giving one third of Mournhold to nord exiles?
Bold words coming from someone in shivving distance
Man now that I think about it he gives me a slight Hannibal vibe. The way he tells Clarice about herself through his cell yenno
i was watching, waiting for to him talk to his own kind and show kindness to his own kind, but nope, continues to break the protaganists soul
I love how he's so aggressive to everyone else unless it's a female of his kind. Then he simps.
Seemed more like he was being sexist than anything else. I'm just shocked he wasn't racist towards the imperial, nord, or redguard.
He literally said to every female they're going to die in jail but k
@@hasekfan2450 I mean yeah but like he sweetalked them before he said that lmao.
@@M_Sakura oh yeah that's all good then lmao don't mind if someone wishes me to die as long as they talk dirty first you feel me 😂😂
He mockingly asked if she wants to get fucked before dying. That is almost like opposite of simping.
I could remake this a lot better, use the dialogue audio files, fix the audio cuts, add in my own subtitles, use Matthew Carofano's (Oblivion's lead artist) official race drawings, and overall make it look like It wasn't made in 2012. Get 20 likes on this comment and I'll get to it.
(Fun fact: I accidentally left my mic on while making this video, that's why you can hear me typing a command in the console)
Pin this
But are you really going to do it?
Get on it it's been 2 months and 182 likes
10x the amount of likes you wanted.Where is the new version? *cracks whip*
@@NonsenseTreasure I was... And did th-cam.com/video/yHHy2Q45KLs/w-d-xo.html
"Hey, you hear that? The guards are coming.. for you! HE HE HE HE HE HA HA."
This freaking line pops into my mind at random points in my life, something about that laugh I guess.
after hearing all the dialogue variations. i'd like to imagine this is this npc's routine, like a theatrical act he goes through each and every time a new inmate arrives. according to the shawshank redemption the prisoners will do many things to take their mind off that they're imprisoned --- this is his (the npc's) way of doing so :)
The first time I played Oblivion I was an Imperial and I was so surprised at how aggressive his dialogue was. Like okay, I get it, you think I'm trash holy fuck chill dude! lol
Lol straight up almost everyone in Morrowind insults you when you walk past them
My first character was a female Dunmer. I was surprised by the suggestive dialogue.
Right? Same here.
"Wake up, Redguard. N... "
...‘wah
@@SharkyMcSnarkface :^>
He is darker then any redguard lol
Redguard: You wot madafakka?
My favorite part was when he said, "Hey, you hear that? The guards are coming...for you, hehehehe."
That he he he he he he he at the end is just perfection
At least he doesn't discriminate against what race we play us. He hates our guts either way
True
I still murdered him to death though
"Hey, guess what I get to do? Leeeeeeeeave." -Me after the emperor and the blades sneak out.
the writing is so much better than skyrim
I saw a mudcrab the other day
An arrow in my knee
a pity he didnt' add in the comments if you add in a custom race on PC.... "What are you? What ARE YOU?!?!?!?!!" lol
"Hear me, Nord? You're going to die in here!"
Hear this.
FUS RU-
Wrong game.
The Imperial Prison must be runnin’ out of space if they crammed every race into that one cell.
Budget cuts
"The Night Mother says goodbye."
People complaining about Nazeem never talked to Valen Dreth
"Hey you hear that? The guard's coming... For you! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE"
My man was the least racist dude in cyrodiil. Everyone gets shit from him.
When he was talking to a female Nord I felt he was talking to me (i'm a girl) and I felt sick and wanted to cry. He feels like a sexual predator.
I mean, judging from his Dark Elf (F) dialogue, he absolutely is
calm down dear
why do you think he is in thare?
@@mr.k4918 The only bethesda title that features serious discussion of epaR is fallout new Vegas(the cook-cook npc), which, unlike oblivion, wasn't made by bethesda. So, following this logic, he probably got in there just for stalking someone or by a reason completely unrelated to his personality. I actually didn't play the dark brotherhood quest line, so I dont know if its revealed there or not
@@Tucker454It also exists in Elder scrolls even Skyrim to be specific if you ask for Sapphire story she will tell you that her family was murdered by Bandits and that they kept her as a "Trophy" passing her to one another
Ohhh man that dungeon music takes me back. Gotta play Oblivion when I get home
you forgot the part where if you happen to have a custom race he will say that he has no idea who or what you are
The letters C and P are fighting for what title in ra_ist he should be defined by
He’s a racist, and if he had his way with the dunmer female he’d be a rapist too.
and here i was thinking he would comment to a khajiit a bit more like not tormenting but more actual truth as a lot of khajiit resort to crime so was expecting him to at least be less mocking to a race that is quite commonly in that very situation (behind bars) and the whole your going to die here part for a khajiit was that nessasary? as if your bounty via crime is high enough the guards attack you in the later games so he could have been like "you've done it now khajiit they will never let you out for what you've done .....even if you didnt do anything who would beleve a khajiit they would most likely kill you than let you go"
I'm sure if this game was more modern the writers would add a racism factor for awareness and a good thinking point for The Elder Scrolls universe. This is a good note.
katia managan would burn him in place for these puns
@@novastrain9068 please god no...
@@zj871023 In skyim there already is a slight racism factor with orc strongholds. It's understandable with the orcs though due to their circumstances. I personally think that the elder scrolls 6 should have some kind of discrimination, because it is an rpg right?
No guys, I know there is racism in RPG settings and its fine! The problem is ppl who look at a RPG setting, identify said racism and start to draw paralells to real world stuff. Keep your politics out of my games. I dont see orcs as blacks. I see them as orcs and you should too.
playing a dark elf female and getting sexually harassed was a surprise to say the least on my first playthrough
The CEO of racism
He’s straight up trying to seduce the Nord woman lmao
I love his little giggle at the end 😂
Man I miss that good old morrowwind and oblivion racism, Skyrim is so polite.
As an argonian I faced little racism in skyrim which was surprising
@@Nova-vk5qbThanks ! Because Nords are not so bad and racists compared to a lot of other races 😅
No wonder that dude was locked up.
Imagine if he met Rolff Stone-Fist
That ending🤣
He tickled that Orc's waaaagh bone.
that head on metal bar clang at the end after the collision reset made me LoL.
There are also lines if you have a custom race, which is pretty cool
Kinda makes me curious about what he would have said to a Snow Elf or a Dwemer… Yeah, yeah, both races are extinct/dying out, I know. I’m still curious!
He'd either probably be too surprised to taunt them or be surprised and taunt anyway by mocking the race's extinction.
"Oh what a rare find! A snow elf so far from home. I heard the savage Nords brought your race to extinction, and now, one of their last will die alone and afraid in an imperial prison. That's right, you will die in here Snow elf! The gods abandoned your people, and you seem to prove that it was for good reason. You hear that? The guards are coming, for you!"
@@eheh3723 "oh not so smart now Dwemer are you, aren't your little machines going to save you? Will you bend these bars with your voice? No! That's right You're going to die here You hear that? The guards are coming, for you! Ha ha ha ha"
Valen: (Makes fun of the races, that the player choosed)
Many player's who almost love all the races in the same way: I'm about to end this dark elf's career once and for all.
I guess Dreth can stand the sight of a strong Nord woman
Such a nice, cheerful young man
The ending was so beautiful that I cried...
Given that there's a chance this guy is related to Narsis Dreth from ESO this actually fits really well.
I’ve been playing more Skyrim now but the interactions in Oblivion are SOOOOO much better💖 I remember the first time I played, as a Khajiit, and I was “Why are you talking to me like that, my dude?😭🥺” hahahahah
The first couple of seconds makes me remember Herioldman from LaFave Bros
I always lose it at his laugh he he he he he.
After playing Skyrim I can agree with only the High Elf bit.
Go play some ESO now, it will give you a more balanced view. Some are dicks, some are kind people. Unlike those Nord milk-drinkers...
@@darmok3420 "Moddable"? Only "moddable"?
You sir have no appreciation for these games then if mods are the only thing you find worth it to mention.
Oh the sweet sweet irony in his Redguard mockery **grins in Dark Brotherhood**
Also, how amazing it must feels being Dunmer female in implied quest...
7:58 "Is the kitty hung?"
Hung and barbed
''Oh no. Not another Khajiit. I'm still smarting from the last one. ''
No discrimination when it comes to trashtalk
Dreth ain't gonna survive at the Gray Quarter, and his descendant in Riften is probably ashamed of him
My favourite part was when he said the guards were coming for me and laughed
I've always played as a Redguard (Favorite race and lore) And I'm just realizing he talks alot if bs to other races but doesn't have much to say about Redguards.
Idk whether to be sad or happy about that
I've tried them all, but nothing beats a Redguard.
I can hear the algorithm, its coming... To your video! He he he he!
Damn, I wouldn't thought that in original language voice he sounds worse
Детерминизм это Свобода 🤙 🤙
I killed him with dark brotherhood very satisfying
He's a Dunmer himself. He's mad cause he already knows the game is over. The Dark Brotherhood had a contract over him
Seemed nicer compared to everyone else...
The Khajiit one is funny asf… 😹
he is so sweet if you are a dunmer, always caring for your own kind
Big talker at first then the guards reveal a hidden passage in my cell and suddenly just like that, silence. Think before you talk crap Dunmer lol
I really have to wonder what manner of crimes you did to get you a life sentence when you can literally slaughter entire towns and get either a few days in prison, or a fine.
5:23 look at the upper right corner
When I got to kill him, I absolutely told him "You're going to die in here" right before hacking him apart.
The guards are coming, for you! *Scooby Doo Laugh*
I wonder if he sits in his cell thinking about shitty remarks to say to the next inmate
" By nine divides, you're an ugly one."
😭 The ending when he GET what he deserves wanna call female orc ugly. 👊🏼☠
9:21 ZA WALDO: TOKI YO TOMARE!
9:27 Soshite toki wa ugaki dasu
Hey, you hear that? The guards are coming. . . for you! He he he he he he.
*GASP* an imperial in an imperial prison?! Who would’ve guessed?
I like this guy
Wow oblivion never fails to surprise me
I love the voice actor
I remember praying to god I would be able to slaughter him in his cell
I’ve never felt so satisfied beating someone to death with my bare hands in this game, revenge really is a dish best served cold
"tHaTs RiGhT! yOuRe GoInG tO D I E iN hErE"
Lol that ending
And this, kids, is why we join the Dark Brotherhood.