Your Husband Makes $240,000 and Won’t Help You?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ส.ค. 2023
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I was in the same situation, my husband had separated finances and let me pay all my CC debts and other debts as I was very irresponsible with money and never listened to his advice, I was a mess financially and got mad at him when he was talking about to be better with money, so I paid my prices of no being trusted with money. After I learned about Dave Ramsey and changed my life financially, my husband and I have combined accounts, and now everything is we/ours. Sometimes, people call this show and make themselves look like victims and don't say what led to the situation they are in.
I'm glad for you! That's the thing Dave doesn't realize, if a couple isn't both good at managing their money, it's a bad idea to combine finances. My partner was like that, but eventually got better and more responsible as we got older and now it's all combined, although we do have separate banks the money is basically pulled from either account since it doesn't matter.
Yes! Well said. This is what I was thinking. I hope this is the case and her husband is not vicious. Well done to you for being humble and changing for the better!
I agree.
While I understand the concepts you are saying. Dave would argue that you wouldn’t start a relationship without figuring out those details and getting on the same page first.
I’m not saying that waiting to discuss that is the wrong way. You’re just leaving a bump in the road for later that you could have already decided.
My spouse and I openly talked about financial goals before we ever got connected. Dating is more than just becoming aware of one another. It’s a trial to figure out what works and what doesn’t. Are the things that don’t work things that can be worked on. A lot of people don’t use dating properly and don’t answer the questions along the way.
This all sounds very judge mental from me. I don’t mean it to come out as a judgement, more a general statement for young couples to be aware of.
@michaelgraham8191 Congratulations, good for you.
Amazing video, A friend of mine referred me to a financial adviser sometime ago and we got to talking about investment and money. I started investing with $150k and in the first 2 months, my portfolio was reading $274,800. Crazy right!, I decided to reinvest my profit and get more interesting. For over a year we have been working together making consistent profit just bought my second home 2 weeks ago and care for my family.
Hi. I’ve been forced to find additional sources of income as I got retrenched. I barely have time to continue trading and watch my investments since I had my second child. Do you think I should take a break for a while from the market and focus on other things or return whenever I have free time or is it a continuous process? Thanks
@@SammyIglesias4665 However, if you do not have access to a professional like JUDITH ANN PEACE, quitting your job to focus on trading may not be the best approach. It is important to consider all options and seek guidance from reliable sources before making any major decisions. Consulting with an AI or using automated trading systems can also be helpful in managing investments while balancing other commitments
@@Lourd-Bab Oh please I’d love that. Thanks!
@@SammyIglesias4665 Judith Ann peace is her name
Lookup with her name on the webpage.
I’m a CPA and I see this a lot. Women that have student loans and either stay home with kids, or work a job / own a business that does not require a degree.
Am I the only one who would like to hear from the husbands' point of view? 🤔
American Feminized Jesus only cares about the perfect woman's point of view.
yes
@@doctorposting😂
I love Jade, she brings a more human perspective while still maintaining the cause, whereas he's more analytical. The both of them are great together btw.
She’s hiding something that’s keeping him from helping her.
why’s she a stay at home mom with over 80k in student loan debts? this is the conversation we really need to have. Women going to school getting all this debt just to stay at home and have their husbands pay it off?
I was thinking the same thing 🤔 why should her husband have to pay for credit cards 💳 and loans she took out?? She gets herself in over 70k of student loan debt and then becomes a stay at home mom??
If it was a man calling in with this exact same situation, that’s exactly what Dave would be telling them. They put the kid gloves on for women on this show and it gets tiring after a while
I agree, more women need to take an honest look at their lives before incurring all of this debt. If you want to stay home when the babies come, you won’t be earning nearly enough to pay off thousands in student loans as you would if you plan to work a career for a long time.
It makes no sense racking up that much debt just to not be working less than 10 years after graduation.
Right-but they made the decision together that she should stay at home and take care of the kids. So if she’s going to sacrifice the hard work, time, and money she put into that degree to stay at home and take care of THEIR children, he should facilitate that. You know what I mean?
You’re a Neanderthal! The babies won’t always be small. Let me remind you Sean, married Men are wealthier and LIVE longer. It’s a team, not an us vs them, and children of educated women are better on all fronts! You’re just ignorant
The husband doesn’t want to participate in her money pit businesses that don’t make money while she wants to invest thousands into it
I was in the same situation. You need to hear the side of the husband. I had a wife who couldn’t get out of debt because she couldn’t budget right and stop spending. We had to separate the bills. Then she stopped working and went on disability…..Till this day I thank god I got out of that situation.
Sooooo your wife had a spending problem and then went on disability and you dumped her instead of trying to help? 🤔
@@bc_usayou still don’t understand simp
Don’t let ppl guilt u into stay just because there disabled . Doesn’t sound like she help u
@@bc_usa EXACTLY! I was married to her for 18 years. I was young when I got married and we lived with my grandmother for 3 years to get our lives going. She dropped out of school 3 times and changed jobs 10 times. While I finished my school and only had 3 jobs during the 18 years. Her debt became unbearable (car repoed 2x, credit card debt, utility debt and ect……). She filed for bankruptcy and still went into debt years later. So I decided I had to separate our finances but then I collection agency started calling me. Then she got hurt and I decided to go on permanent disability. That is when I picked up and left. Today I am debt free (minus the student loan) and very happy! 😀 there is no way you can help people who lives in debt carefree.
@@jborrego2406 yes! People don’t know what others go through. I would have a mental breakdown if I didn’t leave.
I am a physical therapist and we had two kids at the time. I decided i wanted to stay at home temporarily. We paid off $124,000 in 23 months before we had more and I stopped working. Stayed at home and then went back to work. Thinking about taking more time off from working again to spend more time with my kids. I love that i have the option to do this without the burden of debt. Anytime i want to work or stop working i can. So glad i found Dave's plan back in 2014
The old vows said she needs to obey him also. And there was no No-Fault-Divorce back then. Marriage isn't the same anymore. Period.
She started off by saying "I'M getting $4000 back on OUR tax return." which is already broken.
Exactly. Then she later let’s it slip that they share a joint account. The husband isn’t the problem here.
I noticed that too. Dave loves to blame the man while she can start businesses, etc. She is using their refund to pay her debts!
They could have filed married but separately. Highly likely as she has student loans and is likely on an income driven payment plan to keep payments lower.
@@RalstigRacing Seems unlikely. She definitely said "our tax return", not "my tax return" and based on what she said, her income is only ~$9000/year, so there's no way she got a $4000 refund filing separately.
@@BrianW211 You wrote: "...so there's no way she got a $4000 refund filing separately." Well, yeah it's possible, improbable, yes, but not impossible. Since she is self-employed, she would make quarterly payments to the IRS. If she paid too much money, she'd get the excess back at tax time. Paying an extra $333 a month would have her overpaid by $4k.
Keep the same energy if that was a man and it was flipped
Early in our marriage my wife still had student loans. I knew this going in, and she was working diligently at paying them off and getting pretty close. For her it was a point of pride to pay them off herself, and I wanted her to feel that sense of accomplishment. So for a little while we still had separate accounts, but at all points we were open with each other and working toward common goals. It worked for us. That said, I'm very glad to be past that phase of our lives. Common accounts added clarity.
I have an employee who's wife is a stay at home mom & they don't combine their incomes for the simple reason- she blows every dime. Even being home with 2 small children, she used to spend every paycheck. So, he pays all the bills at home but if she wants some "stupid shit" (his words) she had to find the money for it. She has started a side hustle with crafts & that is her spending money. It works for them as in almost 2 years he had saved almost enough to buy their dream home. I personally have been married 30 years & my husband & I have always combined money. To each their own I guess.
I’ve seen this work as well. But it wouldn’t work for me. If someone is so bad with money and not controlling impulses to the point where we can’t save for a house, that would probably be a deal breaker for me
He sounds arrogant. Call girls make money
In situations like that if the husband says we need to control our spending and she doesn't, there are way bigger issues in the marriage. That just means she doesn't respect anything he says and I guarantee it carries to more than money. They should probably seek councinling.
That is terrible. I grew up seeing that behavior in married couples my parents knew. We combined income into a new bank account in the beginning and my husband had us keep the accounts we had before we married. We put each other on as signers, and he deposits into my account (I am stay at home wife/mom). We refer to these as our "me accounts" and they are designated for "stupid stuff." Over time, they have become extra emergency fund accounts because we are really good about discussing big and "stupid stuff" purchases, and we do not carry debt outside of our mortgage. I do not buy expensive clothes, go for spa treatments, or have my toe/finger nails done. I started cutting my own hair years ago. Because I see how hard my husband works to support us, I do my level best to spend wisely. 😉
@@user-mv9tt4st9knot all wives are as considerate as you are. That’s why it’s too each it’s own
1. Don't date whike in debt
2. Dont date someone in debt.
We woukdnt have 80% of these calls.
Tbh the husband has no obligation to take care of the student loans. Does he even want her to be a stay at home mom. Dave is so quick to persecute the man in all these situations
@@journeytothevoid2899 biblically when you get married your debt because your spouse debt and vice versa.
@journeytothevoid2899 after they're married it becomes their debt. That is, if you actually take your marriage vows seriously.
It’s interesting to whom the men who say this. It’s a pattern of who don’t want to take care of their wife. They should never get married.
I’m married and we have separate accounts because she has a spending problem. And if she had access to my pay check we would be screwed.
smart man
And that how it should be
My wife volunteered to have separate accounts. Win for me 😅
It always the less earner ask for combining finances 😂
@@DatBoiLuiat least you help her and her boyfriend buy groceries
I'm a woman and I agree with the husband. Why are all these woman getting their husband's to pay for debt that they racked up before getting married ??? That's got nothing to do with being a stay at home mom.
Right but if she made him be a stay at home dad, or made him pay for daycare so she could work and pay her loans they may be in a similar situation, or he would call in complaining. Who knows the whole situation either. Maybe they have a huge mortgage, car loans, etc (which they may need to downsize). At the end of the day after all bills are paid maybe they both have the same disposable income. My wife is a stay at home mom, and I paid her student loans off (thankfully it was no where near $80k). She may not be contributing much now financially but once the kids are older she will be. It's what is best for the family.
But if he knew about all of the debt and still married her then that's on him. He could be on the sidelines and have this tense marriage or be on the same team. I personally wouldn't marry a woman if they had more than $10k debt no matter how attracted I am to them.
Terrible take.
It's got everything to do with the long game some of these ladies think that they are playing. Once their debt is clear, often times the next step is divorce, for the cash and prizes (House, half the assets, child support, and alimony).
My husband and I had debt before we married. We discussed it and budgeted to get it paid off in the first year of our marriage. After that we budgeted for a down payment on a house. I surrendered the finances to my husband early in our marriage because I suck at managing money. We discuss what we spend, large and small purchases, and I have learned a lot by watching how he manages our budget.
I’d like to hear his point of view before forming an opinion
I wonder how Dave would’ve reacted if a man called in saying he’s 80k in debt and is a stay at home dad trying to get traffic on a failing website. Would he had said your wife should pay off your debt
Nope! Dave will say he needs a job.
Truthfully, men and women are not judged the same way, so yes the man should be working because what excuse does he have unless he is disabled in some way, a woman usually is the one who takes care of the children at home, because that's part of their nature
@@kenndavid7172most women work so no excuses. its 2023 not 1954. dont be a simp.
@@mattiaslp9645 he’s definitely White knighting.
💯 Dave will say to the home dad: get a real job! Lol
I'm dyinggggg over "He doesn't walk around feeling guilty about being selfish!" ;) hahahah omg LOVE you, Sir Dave! ❤ What a legend you are! (and amazing Jade! ❤)
This 'wife' might want to consider the husbands position on 'her' business endeavors..
Or maybe he has and that's why their finances are separate.
I'm not giving the wife a pass just because she's a wife.
So he takes care of everyone and everything cause she doesn’t make any money but is publicly shamed and disrespected by his stay at home photographer wife. Cool.
It's a great time to be a man isn't it?
stay at home "food" photographer lol
Haha tell me about it
😮 I agree. She should have discussed this problem with her husband first. Reading many comments here, the future seems dark for many American men. 😢
She's not sitting at home eating bonbons. She is home physically taking care of everyone and everything. He could help pay for childcare, maid service, and a cook so she can go back to work and pay off her student loans.
Yesssssss I married my partner who was in debt and I had to own that. He is worth it. I had to be bumped back in the baby steps and that is what is required in marriage.
It would've been interesting to get the husband on the phone. I have a feeling we may not be hearing the entire story. Perhaps this lady has made or has poor financial decision-making "incidents" from before 🤷
I was thinking the same thing. Her story just didn’t make sense. She’s a stay at home mom but her husband expects her to pay $80k in student loans plus credit card debt on her own? I’m not buying such a story when only hearing one side of the story. I had an ex that went around telling stories like that, playing the victim to manipulate and get attention from others.
@@MountainhippiedudeIt makes sense if finances aren't combined.
@@KlearChristal, yet she let it slip that they share a joint account.
Imagine her complaining to her brunch friends 😅
The problem of our generation is that we think marriage means becoming a permanent roommate
Because thats what it is? I assume you're referring to them not combining finances. The husband is right not to combine. This woman is a walking liability and a total mess. Shes basically looking for someone to save her for her poor choices.
@@MikeyPaper if you are not willing to close your eyes and deal with it and trust on each others don’t ever get marry
Permanent room mate is probably the closest approximation to what a marriage is. Room mate + business partner
@@victors16811these men can’t even find a woman to date talkless of marriage.😂 they only know how to write on the internet
@@TonyCox1351exactly
Being a SAHM is under the condition that the spouse will financially support the whole family. What on earth!! $240,000 income and she has scrounging to make ends meet. Absolutely ludicrous.
He does he pays ALL THE BILLS, weren't you listening?
She only is responsible for her student loans she took out and HER credit card debt that she racked up
She is a qualified PTA and can go get a JOB
@@jt411and THEIR toddlers and the upkeep of THEIR house all day. She already has a full time job at home, which facilitates the husband to be able to go out and make 240k while she officially earns zero. He needs to share his paycheck!!!
@@jt411if she had the time...maybe when the kids are older? But now she is stuck taking care of those kids so she can't just go out and get a job as a pta- unless they agree to childcare with someone else
She should have handled her debt before agreeing to have children. End of discussion.
I am not convinced that the caller presented her situation accurately. I mean, she was too passive and evasive when it came to whether or not she had, or was willing to, talk with him about it. I would have asked her to clarify, e.g., "Did you rack up this student loan debt before you were married? Or did you sell your husband on the idea of paying 70 grand for your education with the promise that you would make it back as a therapist by scheduling your career around your children?"
I'm very grateful my husband and I combine our incomes even though I dont make anywhere as much as my husband. Our main priority is our children at this stage and though I make a small income I respect my husbands earnings. I am very mindful how we spend our money, I am frugal and what we save on cooking and not eating out all the time, cleaning our home and so on all adds up to money saved. My husband never makes me feel like I am less than he is because he is the main income earner as he knows the work I put into our children and home. It's a team effort.
Why would you, he or anyone feel less than because you earn a lot less when traditionally it’s the man’s role to provide?🙄.. this is the norm
Of course Dave is all going to blame the husband.
And of course Jimmy blindly opines on matter which he has no clue about.
In this case, Dave is right. He is in a marriage, take care of your family
Yes as he should.
@@oneupper7602 He is. He's paying the bills. All she has to pay is her debt.
And that's why gentlemen don't marry women with debt.
I love jade one of the best Ramsey personalities. Keep her around!
My sense is she felt guilty about bringing sizable debt into the marriage probably at one point told the husband that she will take care of her own debt and he just said “okay” and might not even know all the stress that this adds to his* wife’s mental health..
She’s desperately looking for ways to increase her income and afraid to come to her husband and ask for help..
She added her own stress lol what would she do if she wasn’t married
@@9doggie12 If she wasn't married she probably wouldn't have kids and would have time to pay off the loans...
@@AlyssaTaylor9 most children are born out of wedlock and she would be paying ALL her bills not just the student loan lol he pays ALL the bills. She chose to not work and find a work from home job taking pictures of food. She has a doctorate and gave up working because her husband paid all the bills.
@@9doggie12 We're not talking about "most children" though (and even that's not true), we're talking about the children she has with her husband. They wouldn't exist if it wasn't for their marriage. If she had ended up a single mom she would've had to make it work obviously, but she didn't... she's married.
On the other side, if he's unwilling to pay his spouse's debt he shouldn't have had multiple children with someone who had debt and would be unable to pay it while doing ALL of the childcare? If he was a single dad he'd probably be paying $3,000/month just on daycare. Multiple years of that is more than $80,000.
@@9doggie12These children AREN'T out of wedlock. Keep up
I see what the problem is. He makes it and she spends it. She IMMEDIATELY tried to find a way to take tax returns and funnel it to her business that makes no money. She’s the type that thinks tax returns are “free money”. That money belongs to your husband from all the damn taxes he paid all year.
She doesn’t feel safe. She seems afraid to ask him for money.
Or she’s given him a reason not to. We don’t know his sideb
Husband is not wrong for getting her to pay off her debt. The horrible part is that she's a stay at home mom while having to pay off her debts - that's ridiculous. She should go work.
No, she’s taking care of the children. He should be the one to pay the bills and return, including the debt
She should have taken care of that student loan debt before having children. Then she wouldn't have a problem now that there are children.
Who knows that's what they agreed upon, but she decided to sabotage birth control and oops! There was a baby! We don't know. But something's off here. There must be a reason why he doesn't want to pay off her student loan debt.
Don't overspend, don't make bad financial choices. Be responsible. Just because you're married, it doesn't mean the other person should bale you out of your shit!
Imagine going to school and racking up 100K in debt all just to obtain a degree you're not using and being a stay-at-home mom. This woman is a new fool. Madness.
waste of money
Foreal
And she's not alone
She probably didn't get a graduate degree to never work again. People get undergraduate degrees they don't use all the time but graduate degrees are more of an intentional investment. From how she speaks it plans like she plans on going back to work but is stuck between a rock and a hard place right now on account of her having two babies under two years of age. Putting them in daycare would be monumentally expensive so it doesn't even make sense to do it right now.
That’s not nice. Life happens and no one is perfect. Quit judging and keep your thoughts silent if they are negative. I’m sure there are dark shadows in your life also.
Next Caller:
“Hello, I got married and my spouse wasn’t forthcoming about their student loan debt.
They also have maxed-out several credit cards and there’s nothing to show for it.”
I’ve heard these calls from Men and Women.
But then again, she wants to spend 4000 dollars on a blog where she makes 50 dollars a month.
Why should he combine his finance with his wife? They both are adult and they are responsible to take care of themselves. Marriage should not be about money.
Coz instead of working and paying back the debt, she is wiping their kids butts and ironing his shirts so he can look good at work. Does he have any pressure to hurry to daycare at 6pm? No, thanks to her.
@@solc.2318 The working model where wife is homemaker and husband is breadwinner is problematic. Men should avoid women who want to be housewives and women should lo be financially independent before thinking about marriage. Only in rare circumstances should this home maker-bread winner model. I would reiterate that finances should never be combined. This step only benefits the partner(and divorce attorney of the partner) who makes least financial contributions. Marriage is all about love. Finance has no business in it.
Because she’s watching their children and cooking his meals? Marriage isn’t about money, so you should have no problem sharing your money.
I❤ the Dave Ramsey because he sees through all the ‘Tom Foolery’. This new Fangled marriage and situationships are bull crap!
Exactly... And, there sure are some bitter dudes out there
All I can say is we need more info. He might be providing and saving for the family's present and future while protecting the family. My wife and I pay everything together, but if someone acts irresponsibly you need protections.
I think she’s capp’n 🧢
She should know better not to have any debt going into a marriage.
@@r.soclosereality is most ppl carry debt into their marriage, but the weird part is the fact they have kids together and somehow years later she has credit card debt. Something aint adding up.
@r.soclose most people have debt and will go into further debt when in a relationship. it's not a perfect world like how you see it. when you marry someone you combine your finances. otherwise don't get married and most definitely don't have kids it you want to split everything.
yep we need the other side of the story. that is the only way we can know for sure what's going on. Cause I am pretty sure, very sure, that if Dave realized or they picked up that she's being irresponsible, this whole discussion would've gone another way.
No No No No! Once again Dave wants to sweep HER debt under the rug and guilt the guy into paying for it. The only thing that MUST be fixed here is this:
If she's going to continue to be a stay at home mom then the husband must absorb and pay the debt.
If they decide that the wife must pay her own debt then she must go work and earn money to do that. You can't tie her hands with raising kids and then also demand that she pays her debt.
Excuse me? She's taking care of 3 kids under 2!! What would that cost him if she were to die? He can jolly well pay her student debt. It's WE. It's OUR debt.
@@suen5006 Hell no. When she took on the debt what was the plan for getting it paid back, get married and hope the husband pays for it?!
Fellas do not marry a woman who’s in debt. Do you hear the judgment in their voice? Let’s reverse the role with him bing a stay at home husband because he lost his job, and she made the 240k. And was calling into a radio show because he was struggling paying off credit card debt. We all know how that conversation would have gone now don’t we.
HAHAHAHA. You’re basically saying don’t marry a woman with a college degree within the past 10 years or with a car payment. Doesn’t make any sense. Good luck with that.
There’s no way that if that call happened Dave would not ask the same questions about finances being combined…. Just asinine to suggest not to marry someone with debt. Unless they’re a permanent stay at home mother.
@@joshuaevans6065Lml pay as you go and try community college or state or city college …… how much debt did you marry 😂or owe
Changed the first sentence, but agree with the rest. Don't marry a woman that isn't actively working on her loans. Cuz that behavior won't change after.
@@joshuaevans6065The conversation would have definitely been diffeerent. It would go more along the lines of him needing to contribute and work full time
Correct !
So she should get thousands of $ in student debt paid, he gets chicken soup?! No sir!🤣
He gets his children taken care of by someone that truly loves them and hopefully a clean house and meals made. What would that cost him if purchasing from third parties? probably a lot more than a monthly student loan payment.
She’s a wife not a prostitute
@@MrWookie1981 she’s not doing him a favor, those are her kids too.
@@PInk77W1 he’s a husband, not a bank.
@@donaldo7656 so you want strangers to raise your children instead?
Now if the roles were reversed they would sound totally different 😂
If the roles were reversed there would be no marriage women don't marry into debt and if the make $240k/yr he'd have to make atleast $300k/yr.
Get quotes for high end daycares, maids, and food service and then tell him, I'm going back to work full time, here's what it will cost to replace me at home :)
I think we should call her husband on three way let’s get his take 😂
Its amazing to me that people these days can't make decisions.
Exactly. My husband and I talked out a lot of issues, including the debts we would be bringing into the marriage (paid off within the first year and a half), children, etc. He had a five year plan to save a down payment for a house--it took a little longer because we decided I would stay home with our son. We discuss often, especially large purchases, what we refer to as "planning our life" and we revise our plans when necessary.
@user-dj8ot7di3yYES. I agree with you about having blind spots. Most of my accountability friends married and moved out of state; it is a good thing that my husband is there to prod me about my blind spots. 😂😂
Many people are passengers in their own life. They make the easiest decision in any given situation which it’s usually to do nothing. Most callers have emerged even created budget and don’t even know where their money is going…
There is a reason why it's called big decisions they have always been difficult
No one has any idea what steps the man took to get that woman on the same page with him. Who knows if she terrorized the family with poor financial decisions that she independently made
“No one has any idea.” Yeah you don’t either. Just assuming she’s a woman and will blow all the money away. Not how marriage should work. Trust is key. And if there’s issues with the money he can see the account too. Have a conversation. To not help your wife out when you make 5 times the median wage in America while she does the most important job in the world, taking care of three toddler is silly to me.
@@joshuaevans6065 "assume she was a woman and will blow the money away" -- you may assume they they didn't say it.
@@joshuaevans6065if you look at who holds the debt in the family, she does and he doesn't.
So one can speculate.
A solid assumption that can be made is that he is good with his finances.
@@joshuaevans6065you have no idea the convos they have. The fact that she has credit card debt when she has access to their joint account says there is something deeper. Deceit, lies, he probably can’t trust her. But you only heard one side of the story
@@joshuaevans6065 - The simple question I never heard answered was this: "What was being purchased with those credit cards?" Given that their finances are separate, those cards are not the husband's, thus none of the expenditures on those cards are the husband's. If basic necessities to support the household are being purchased, then that should be a shared expense (including fuel purchases for vehicles). If it's for non-essential items, then the question becomes: are there sufficient controls on frivolous spending?
For example, if my wife suddenly rang up $2000 on her Kohl's card and it was just "because everything was on sale", I'd hand her the bill every month and expect her to pay it. Granted, that doesn't happen because we both talk through big purchases before acting on them. If it did happen, however, I would be loathe to contribute money to it since it would be feeding a potentially dangerous spending habit.
Ramsey is a solid man!
More 1950s outdated marriage advice.
for real, dave lives in bs land
During 21 years of marriage the one thing we probably never argued about is money and I’m so grateful for it! We were on the same page financially and combined our finances from the beginning.
But like some others have said, we’d need to hear out the husband before jumping to conclusions. I’ve always felt very strongly about gaining financial freedom and staying out of debt. If my husband weren’t on the same page and insisted on buying expensive toys and spending beyond our means I would probably not want to keep our finances combined either. Not saying this is the situation here but there are always two sides to the story. I hope this couple figures things out and gets on the same page.
If a man called with his wife making 240k and him having a bunch of student loan debt Dave would tell him grow up and pay the debt. It's a female caller, automatically get the husband to pay a debt that she signed up for. Married or not, pay off your debt. You signed that debt before you a married. This guy will literally bow to any female out there, give me a break.
Exactly sound like to me she has a spending problem
I love this husband make her pay her own crap
Your definitely single, probably an incel
He would say, "pay off the debt together."
Agreed
Time out! We're hearing her version, what if his reasoning is that she would blow the money and have this family in even more debt.
This topic is so nuanced. In my opinion, dont marry a woman and not pay her debt if she cant work. She needs to make at least 2X the daycare for a job to make sense.
Yes. I am a stay at home mom and when my husband asked me to return to work I did the numbers. The part-time money I made would be paid mostly to a child care provider, I gave a hard NO to the free Boys and Girls Club option offered at my son's school.
You should don't hear same math for the husband. Childcare is not the mother's responsibility alone
To the "she shouldn't have stopped working and expect him to pay her loans" crowd, maybe if he wasn't anticipating her student loans he shouldn't have had multiple children with her with the debt outstanding. Having two babies in under two years guaranteed either one of two things: her income would go way down or they would be spending thousands a month (probably $3,500) on daycare alone. That over let's say three years is far more than $80,000. Not a fantastic calculation.
It's possible that she was hiding the debt before the marriage (making her a liar), but that's not the impression I get from the call. We haven't heard the husband's side though so it's possible that what we're mostly hearing is her uncommunicated guilt over having brought a significant amount of debt into the marriage that before having children she did intend on paying herself.
You know that means that she should pay HIM 80000 for providing her a family, sperm and a home where she became capable of create an equivalent value. That is how business works.
@@mekbebtamrat817 What? None of that made sense. It's not a business arrangement where they're trying to profit off each other, it's a marriage. You don't typically say "till death do us part" with the people whose debts towards you you keep track of. Besides, there's things that are a lot more valuable than money... your family for one. Her being a stay at home mom to his babies is more valuable than anything he could buy.
BUT if you really wanna go there... eggs & and a uterus are a hell of a lot more valuable than sperm. Donating eggs can get you $6,000 per donation cycle, and being a surrogate (aka renting your uterus) can get your $60,000. Meanwhile donating sperm gets you maybe $100 for millions of the little swimmers, your market is flooded.😆
"Married Filing Jointly" tax brackets are lower than "Married Filing Separately" tax brackets.
Look at her track record she ran up over 70k, when she didn't even have an income. Her husband pays all the bills. Food, housing,transportation. She would probably spend and waste the money if they combined accounts. The fact that she has 4k credit card debt means she spends more than she makes. Some people are just bad with money. Tax bracket 😂 she would waste more than they got back from taxes😅
@@TheSilvertrigger Tax filing status has nothing to do with how they handle their finances/debt. It "sounds" like they file separately because she said "I'm getting $4k back." The way the tax filing status brackets are structured, if they're filing as "Married Filing Separately" they're both paying more federal tax than they would if they filed "Married Filing Jointly." Just sayin'...
Except for those elderly receiving SSI. If retired or elderly people marry, one of them loses a part or all of their social security income.
@@matthewwallace9280 she's bad with money she will spend way more than she could get back in taxes
No, actually they are not.
How bout a survey of husbands paying wife's debts then being divorced.......
Just 99%
Dave would never have that conversation. I agree with a lot of what Dave has to say on finances, but none of his White Knight ideology.
@@TerryJohnson757 Dave has never felt the sting of a divorce attorney/Judge telling him to stroke a check for half of his net worth! If he did, his tune would change in a nano second.
SIMPle Dave don't want to have that talk, because that happens more often than not. Don't marry a depreciating asset with debt, that's the lesson here.
Young Guys: WAIT!!!!
There are no finances to combine because she is not making anything.
Guys, there’s two sides to every story you should not automatically take her side!
Especially when she starts with, “I’m getting $4000 back on our tax return”, then later let’s it slip that they share a joint account.
You mean three sides. His side, her side and the truth.
Damn straight
Your credit cards are yours and yours alone. If she doesn't learn to stop spending money. The problem will just get bigger. Before we dog him out. Remember he is doing what a husband does, he's taking care of his family. Supporting a food blog is one thing, but investing the house money in it is another thing. Everybody isn't going to see you vision. How you fix this is simple, put the kids in daycare. Everybody works, use that degree. You spent all that time and money getting. Or like they said don't get married, it's cheaper. lol
How many years have you been married?
@@Cesar-pq2ck yes I'm new to the game, 2 ys and counting. We both work, and have kids. Debt in general is a conversation you have to have before you get married. If you say your $300,000 in debt, while dating. Huh you might want to think, that through before moving forward. Specially if the other has none. We all have different opinions. But don't crucify the man, without having the full picture. Hes taking care of his family, could be better than most. She might have bad spending habits. We don't know. In my opinion, we can make even more money. If that diploma, wasn't just a conversation piece
Amen on those marriage vows🙌🏿💕
Of course, he wont help, she can barely handle her money, how will she learn? He sees his money as drain with her, because of her previous action. First thing he is asking in his mind, how did you she go in debt in first place? and why this high?
Another problem is, in marriage you are a team not a competitor. you are supposed to build each other up! because more money she spends in debt, more money he is losing overall in future investments.
I’m not combining finances with a financial idiot. He’s obviously helping her out by covering all the bills while she stays at home. Jumping the gun by making him seem like a bad guy.
you'd have kids with someone you call an idiot? let me guess. you're single lmao
Advice is situational. He is covering all the bills and paying for everything else they seem to need or want. Will it be less stressful if they combine accounts? You bet! She could empty his account in a flash, and then HE can be the stressed one.
Then you have a rational conversation about it. If you do not trust your wife with your finances, when she’s taking care of your three children, there’s already issues. There’s no trust, whether it’s validated reasoning or not. If you can’t trust someone with something as simple money, they shouldn’t watch over your three children. You make a quarter million dollars, file a divorce and pay for a baby sitter.
@@joshuaevans6065 It is hard to have a rational conversation when you know a single side of the story and already act like you know everything that is going on in their life. Whose fault it is she called Dave Ramsey instead of trying to talk like a normal human?
@@joshuaevans6065you make it sound a lot easier than it is. If he can’t trust her with money that doesn’t equate trust with kids. And then you jump to the conclusion of divorce. So now he is paying child support, alimony, and likely will lose custody of his kids. How is that better than this situation?
@@joshuaevans6065we are all speculating... I know of someone who buys and hides things from her husband. I'm guessing talking didn't work for him. Talk works for some, doesn't work for others... Who am I to judge....
@@joshuaevans6065 The issue is deeper. We don't know why they have divided things up in this way. Maybe their finances are set up in a way for a certain reason. The show never went beyond some basic surface level of how money is spent. Didn't even mention how much she had in student loans(Nvm, had to listen 3 times to catch Dave talking over the 80k).
There's also a big difference between trusting a spouse with ALL finances and trusting/not trusting on certain things. Just because someone can shove food in a child's mouth 3 times a day does not mean that they can be responsible with large sums of money. That's why many marriages split responsibilities (competency).
To each his own, but I’ve never understood the concept of “my money” and “her money”. My wife and I had a joint account since day one. I paid off 100s of thousands of dollars of my wife’s (technically our) student loan debt. We’ve been married for 13 years and we are ONE.
Thirteen years….
A bit premature.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 what do you mean? expecting the shoe to drop? maybe you wish it into dropping...
@@pavlindrom
Don't care what people do. It's just fascinating to hear people say things like that.
I know too many couples that said the same things eventually divorcing years later even in their 50s and 60s.
That hers,mines,ours,etc. is settled in court.
You paid off her student loans... oh my God... dude.. really? WAKE UP!!!
Exactly 👏
He pays ALL the bills lol that’s the definition taken care of your family. What would she do if she was single lol she would be working 80 hours a week and not staying at home.
Yup. She had plenty of opportunities to take care of it
She’s taking Taking care of the children they agreed to have, so no it’s a different stop with false comparisons
Chicken soup for student loans,that’s not an exchange 😂
I know its so ridiculous
No, it’s not ridiculous. She is also taking care of the children and the household.
IF the roles were reversed she'd divorced him a long time ago, get a real job lady, and stop acting like a victim!
Bill Burr has entered the chat
It’s a definite men and women are different. She is the one taking care of three children as a stay at home mom.
This is why when you’re married there is no more my debt and your debt. It’s our debt. Sit down. Make a budget and prioritize getting out of debt and saving with our money.
I agree. The husband should have never married the wife with that debt. Now he has to pay the price
Yeah and DO NOT marry someone with substantial debt. They can pay it off first. No wonder they had dowries back in the day.
Ohhhhhhhhh, ok....."Sure hunny, go run up your credit cards and get a a dumb degree that you are doing nothing with.....and I'll just pay for it all"......GTFOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dave may have attacked the husband a little too quickly here. She hadn’t really made combining finances an issue with her husband. He might not realize that it’s important to her.
She doesn’t want it combined across the board, but only when it’s convenient for her. She made it clear in her opening statement, “I’m getting $4000 back on our tax return.”
Because her husband is getting 30k …and told her that she is only entitled to 4k
@@scarletlady3727, that’s pure fiction. No truth in it at all.
Gentlemen, let this be a lesson learned. Do Not, Do Not marry a woman that has debt.
Exactly!
Do not marry a person in debt? I mean if you listen to Dave Ramsey, there have been plenty times where it's the reverse.
Great advice for broke men.
Don’t marry ANYONE with debt, man OR woman.
Man is not a idiot...he make 240k....
I am a senior and am buying a few new pieces of furniture. I am retired and found it very hard to save. I stopped all retail spending and was able to save enough to pay for my furniture just listening to Mr. Ramsey. Thank you.
A lot of people don’t know what financial abuse is and it shows
This husband is NOT abusing her.
So expecting her to be a grownup and fix her mess is abuse?
@@qb4428i assume youre not married lmfao
I think this is fine, he should just pay her 2000 a month to watch the kids, its far less than day care.
more 2k doesnt even cover one kid nowadays
If you're in debt, don't stay at home. Tada.
Dave you gotta hear the husband out. There’s a reason why he has not combine money with her! She sounds super irresponsible.
How about a new Ramsay show, where families and couples come on, to discuss their financial issues?
Great idea.
That would be Jerry Springer moment
Ladies and gentlemen if you are not open to paying your spouse student loans or debt. Before you EVER SAY I DO, make sure you enter into the marriage DEBT FREE or be ok for paying the other spouse debt. This is just ridiculous and disgusting that he is watching her struggle.
Ladies don’t go into massive amounts of debt to just decide on being a stay at home mom. That’s unfair for your man and it’s irresponsible. Don’t leave massive messes for your man to clean up alone.
Well, do we know if she was open about her debt? If she wasn't, it should be on her husband when she, a grown woman, put herself into debt.
Exactly! What he get out of watching his wife with two babies struggle. It’s very crazy. Like what’s the point of living and marrying them? Except she didn’t tell him before marriage.
So don't get married simply because the other party has debt? I'm sorry, I love my wife with all my heart and I'm glad I married her. But I'm not paying a debt I had nothing to do with building.
There are too few details to jump into saying "that he is watching her struggle". So many actual numbers and background is just lacking here. It certainly sounds like to keep up a style of living they are following a process.
“You’re not combined dear, don’t try to make it sound better than it is. 😏”
Combined enough to be safe for the lifestyle provider. She’s irresponsible, and he doesn’t want to give her access to what will be seen as “disposable income”.
My first question is why she gives the government a $4000 interest free loan?
He's going to pay way more than he is currently if they get divorced and he pays child support and potentially alimony. He is probably guilting her and that's why she thinks the way she does. That should have been something he was prepared to take on.
Yeah, the husband is screwed.
Love Dave's response! That lousy husband needs to hear this!
What if the husband doesn't wanna combine their income because she's irresponsible with money? 🤔
@@itumelengmahaole5890If that’s the case, he shouldn’t have married her.
@@itumelengmahaole5890then he shouldn’t have married her.
I bet if they were getting a divorce she wouldn’t say hey since you paid my debt, I don’t need anything from you 😂
Ok incel
This is not a marriage. They are roommates who had sex and ended up with kids.
Marriage is one flesh, one spirit and combined finances. Everything is combined in marriage.
Exactly she needs to get a job using her degree and help out.
@@jt411no she doesn’t, her husband has a great income. He could wipe this out in an instant.
@Guitarlvr01 Yes, he could and she would learn nothing and continue to get into credit card debt because he bailed her out of her poor choices without sacrificing anything.
@@jt411 so you don’t think staying home with children is work or sacrifice? 🤣🤣🤣 okay….
5:08 Insert All of Me by John Legend 😂
I am so over these comments where everyone assumes that women blow through money and take advantage of men 100% of the time. Can it happen. Sure. And men can also be self centered and unkind. Not to mention all these bitter men say they want a traditional woman. You won't get one. Not with that attitude.
As for this specific situation, It sounds like she is also making some money, which is not easy to do as a full-time mother and homemaker.
She needs to get a REAL job instead of ''a blog'' and pay her own student debt, that's not on him! He's already paying the bill, he should not pay her student debt! Get a job and help your husband out!
OK, fool. The money he will ha e to pay for daycare, could just go towards the debt, it will likely be cheaper just to pay off the debt. They have 2 kids under 2 years old. Factor that in.
My husband and I have separate finances. He pays the bills and I buy the groceries and household items. We both work, but he works more and almost always makes a higher hourly rate. I have had jobs making the same as him, but I work several part time jobs and he works one full time job. We are both saving towards a second car. We currently share one car.
Well Dave, men can be very controlling when it comes to money. My husband gave me nothing but grief when I stayed at home to raise our kids after kid #2 because childcare was SO expensive it didn’t warrant all of the stress or salary I was incurring as a teacher. At the time, he was making $300,000 to $500,000 a year.
That’s sad and he was still complaining? He made enough for the whole family
When I started staying at home to raise our son, my husband questioned a lot of my household purchases. At first I was frustrated because I did not buy "stupid stuff" like new curtains unless I called him to ask (no, I was not "required" to call about "stupid stuff" purchases, I did that on my own). I have always done my best to spend wisely. After about a year, he relaxed. He knows I am not going to spend stupidly. We discuss major and minor purchases, which is something I think all married couples should do.
@@mhodge0890 well his job was very stressful and involved travel, so I think the idea was my working would take the pressure off of him somewhat, but I realized that I had no one to support me!
There are two sides to every story. I'm sure he had what feels like his valid reasons for responding this way.
You are conflating gross income with controlling? Do you know gross income after taxes ? Then after Taxes expenses? He might not give you more money because he is taking care majority of expenses and you might be handling very little expenses, then you might be expecting more play money from him. Of course he would deny it.
husband is a legend!
I agree they should be combined . It’s not clear if this business should be invested in regardless of that .
He doesn't see her as a real partner, he sees her as hired help.
I can’t understand situations like this. My wife brought a small car loan into our marriage (less than a year ago). Before we were married, it was her car loan and she diligently paid it. I make more. After we got married, WE paid the loan within 3 weeks of the wedding day. After we were wed, it was OUR loan and OUR income and we could easily pay it off and be debt free in weeks.
This!!!!! It helps you get so much further ahead!!!
His money is her money. Her money is her money.
There’s only 1 family
She has no money.
@@ejmich8136 You completely missed the point
Once her husband's pays all the bills and student loans. She will divorce him and get child support and alimony.
No people divorce because of marital problems not because of finances she has three children with him
@@dorino9057 Ever heard of people with children getting divorced? That's exactly why alimony exists. People do that.
This made me so sad!