Why Confidence Can't Make You Happy
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ย. 2024
- This video is meant to help you to stop pursuing confidence as a means to make you happy because it can't make you happy.
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Of all the “this video changed my life” comments on TH-cam, I think this video is actually deserving of that. Thanks Noah ❤️
Great video (in my opinion), the video is not great or bad, it is just a video.
Julio Fiss 😂😂
It was definitely helpful ;)
Wow :)
wow that is so ironic. our Confidence depends on others opinion
i love you so much. thank you. you made me cry. ive been watching your videos for three hours straight. my anxiety is making me FEEL sick. i feel so much more free now. i will practice this. i dont think you realize how much we ALL need your wisdom. im so tired of confusion and self doubt. its time to let go and just live. regardless of rejection and drama. i love you. thank you for helping me.
Hello, how are you right now?
You have such an amazing perspective on life and your advice is very sensitive to people who are truly suffering. Society makes us feel like if you're not confident or happy, then you're the problem or there's something wrong with you. I like how you reject this idea and approach it more sensitively.
goingmads Glad you've enjoyed the video
You make some interesting points but I don't think confidence means "thinking one is superior" so much as having an inner faith in oneself that one will be capable of dealing with or adapting to whatever the future may hold for them. I don't think a person who is confident is even worried about theie looks fading or people not thinking they are smart or funny or whatever.
Confident people still do have these concerns.
Spooky! You seem to always explain things in way that makes me look at it from a different dimension.
The Realest Idealist :)
"BUT as long as you have confidence and self-esteem you'll have a lot of suffering" LOL
Hi Noah
This is soooooo gooooood and so necessary to listen! I experienced it all in a fragmented way and could not get a full, complete picture of it.I believed that something must be wrong with me. Thank you for ''painting'' it so clearly. Stay well
Noah, I really appreciate all these videos. A lot of the time I just felt lost, I didn't understand myself or the reasons I experienced depression and loneliness. After these I still have those feelings every now and again, but these videos have helped me immensely, my life is picking up. Thanks to you Noah.
Its been years that i got into self help, and after the initial charge i went back to my homeostasis, but this is some next level stuff, thank you :)
Hello, how are you right now?, I'm in the same way.
"I'm too Young to Die,
Ain't too Old to Cry"
- Adam Jensen
Noah Elkrief... the past couple of months had been rough for me, but in the past few weeks I have been listening to your videos and they have helped me out on an extremely high level. Thank you for making these videos, because they have been a lifesaver the past few weeks. You are a cool guy :) thanks again
I also recommended you to my friend. He's going to love your videos.
so simple and amazing
You are a genius Noah
Very interesting, I never thought about these things this way
Rachel Caddy Yeah, it's not a common message.
Great vid! Very "Buddhist". I live in Thailand, and embracing Buddhism. A monk here said we are 'human doings', not 'human beings'. I agree. I don't have goals. I've lowered my expectations in order to be happy.
I am glad you are here! :)
Dude you are the best I love you man. Your videos are helping me everyday.
Oh man i can't wait for your physical pain video, you're the best Noah :D.
ScottishSwallow :)
but the point of being confident is to be able to think "i'm smart" without the fear of doing something not so smart once in a while, because you know, people make mistakes sometimes or not everyone defines smart the way i do, but i still believe, in my definition, i'm smart, because in most cases i have proven it to myself, and even if i do something dumb one or two times, that doesn't mean i am not a overall smart person anymore...
How can you BE smart if you can't even smell, taste, touch, hear, or measure smart? How can you BE something that doesn't factually exist? You can't be something that doesn't exist, you can only be what exists.
@@michael367 That's true, is just a thought in the sense of sound word, or image word that you associate with an attitude that you think that is to be smart, so if you want to keep that thought in your mind "I am smart" you have to act as others taught you about what is to be a "smart" person, because if you act in another way that someone taught you that is to be "silly" you're gonna activate that thought in your mind, you'll try to act like a smart person because because that's the thought that you want to keep, and avoid the thought of "I am silly", I have to act as I think that a smart person would act.
Your idea of "confidence" is what I consider to be "not having confidence". I thought these eight forms of suffering result from not having confidence. If you fear what will happen in the future, or you're concerned what people will think of you if you let loose and dance, or you're so insecure you have to plan conversations ahead of time, then you lack confidence. I think you're confusing the word "confidence" with "arrogance".
Confidence is defined as,
- the state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
- a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities.
I like your videos, but I have to disagree with you on this one. If you really feel certain that your skilled or competent in something, then you don't suffer thinking that you have to prove it to anyone. If you do, then you're not certain about it. Therefore, you're not confident in this area.
Being confident in the sense that he talks about it and lacking confidence are the two sides of the same coin.
I really thought about your response here. The idea of "confidence" depends on the story you tell yourself - you may feel like it is truth - but it is a fragile story tethered to outcomes that can't be depended on. I think he is saying competence is a delicate structure that can be knocked over with the next big challenge so investing in the story of "confidence" to bring peace and freedom is not going to work.
I have to have some confidence in a positive outcome to attempt anything. The problem is I don't have any. Everything feels like diving off a cliff.
I think the videos are so good and I enjoy them
He - "Imagine a nice big house - will that house keep you warm and safe and cosy"
Me - "oh god yes"
He - "Noooo, it's just an image in your head"
Me - "TROLLLLOLOLLLOOOLLLLOLOLOLLL"
[Cry].
Same thing here lol
hahahahaha, thank you +utopiaopera for making me laugh today for me is a black day....
In theory I agree. But isn't our brain in its nature something that always valuates? Although good and bad are not things in the actual world, there is no way we can distance ourself from this concept completly. But I think we can be more nuanced with it than just thinking: I am good/confident etc.
Thank you Noah Elkrief, ...you are wise...although just a kid ;-)
I was told fantastic at job. Most incredible at skills. Then the opposite. I couldn't work out who I was. I suffered. Now I understand that I made too much of the postive and if I didn't. I would not of suffered. Also its just a skill task not me. Thanks Noah
I got sick before virus lockdown. Under investigation by GP hospital. It wasn't the virus, but I was fired. I'm OK now though.
tears in my eyes. :(
Deni almost enlightenment
Dani don't
I don't know
I like the peace, without suffering
but in love with peace, with suffering
Learning to enjoy the lows nevertheless of the highs of peace.
On a scale my confidence is 90/100 and my happiness ranges between 50/100 to 70/100. Before I had my apartment, it was between 15/100 - 45/100. Around certain negative family members it is usually around 35/100.
I have "the feeling of lack" and doing things I don't want to do. I force myself to put a "moral bar" or "intellectual bar" to everyone. I hate to admit that people either don't care or not intelligent enough. Not everyone wants to listen and not everyone want to change for the better. Some people you just can't help. Someone people just wont listen. The only feeling of lack I have is not having a car (which I'm going to fix) and the lack of a positive social circle, similar to what I had in high school. And yes I feel left out or not welcomed in some circles without someone's approval. Example I usually wait until my friend at work, lets call him "Harry" approves so I can sit with him and his friends/family. I rarely sit with them if he is not there or without his approval. Without him, I feel left out or not welcomed so sit by myself. Culture differences is obvious barrier but it doesn't bother me. I like learning about other cultures.
On a side note, I don't understand why good and positive people are drawn too me? I'm more realistic (some would cal la pessimist) than positive. People say I'm funny even though I don't think I am. I know I'm not perfect and will admit i'm not super smart. I'm very modest and i think people can achieve, but are mentally lazy to do so. I only seek approval from people who I really care for. Strangers, I couldn't care less.
great video, that is so true. because that confident people are always worrying about how they are, when happiness is all about being in the moment and I have discovered this for myself and I'm only 20 years old.
i love your channel, it's very helpful
Hello Mr. Elkrief great video. Very insightful. Thank you.
noah thank you
Thank you. Watching all your videos. Not going to say if they are good or bad :). One of the most famous psychologist in the U.K. said according to her experience, lack of confidence is the core of all psychological problems. I was experimenting this point of view in my occupation but felt something was too pantheist. I will be commenting on your meditation videos. Namaste
hehe Noah, this must be the best video of yours! it is the simple truth that when we try so much to be happy or confident or anything we lose the ability to be ourselves.. when always aiming at a mountain in our thoughts there is not one chance we ll reach the top, only thing we have is what we are, how we experience life as it comes and do our best.. and there.. inner peace at last! thank you for that :)
So what do feelings of happiness and sadness mean? Noah, how do you feel when people attack or make negative comments towards you? How do you feel when people compliment you? If I am hearing you correctly, you just allow yourself to feel whatever you feel and accept it (not judging the feelings either).. is that the case?
He doesn't feel emotional pleasure or pain as a result of an insult or a compliment. The reason being is that he doesn't believe the words to be true. He knows that "good" and "bad" doesn't exist and therefore if it doesn't exist and it's only a fantasy, then it can mean anything substantial in real life. In essence, a compliment and an insult to him are not credible and factual.
Yes you are good at this because everything you say makes total sense!
Every time I watch your videos I feel so calm, comforted, and free... but next day I come back to my habitual thoughts and my anxiety returns :( maybe my understanding of these ideas is not deep enough or I just should get used to think in a different way.
Thank You, your voice sounds like a Big Brother to this Female.
This is good. I'd rather use my mind for practical purposes and not worry about what others think of me.
luis maldonado I hear ya
Noah thank you so much for making me see your perspective....
i had it all wrong i didn't know there was a way as simple as this.... love the work that you do!
thank you so much i always believed confidence would make me happy....i dont have cofidence ...but now i hear the other side you make so much sence :))))i love you
Your voice is relaxing 😌
sho Ahmed Glad it helps you relax
Noah Elkrief
Noah you don't have to be glad, and what if he finds your voice annoying? You'll feel bad? Hahaa, just kidding :).
WOW 21:00 such a wake-up for me, thank you. I just realize I have been taking up the culture I live in TOO much, but that I can just be and everything will be okay still
God, I watch your videos every day - what an eye opener! I haven't been in situation to be so influenced by one's way of thinking like I'm by yours for decades. Can you give us a video on origins on your teaching? Thanks!
I live by this video 100% I hate confident people
Thank you for your videos!
Just BE!!💜🌺👍🏾
I think that the higher the visceral standards are for happiness the less happy you can be.Thats why a happy poor person who wins a million bucks will be even happier,and a rich person that was never really happy,could be very well devastated being broke.Learning Unconditional happiness is the cake, everything else is the iceing.
So you’re saying that thinking things are good or bad is... bad?
Please make new videos! I'm running out of new stuff to watch!
Hi Noah, loving your video,s, they are so simple and really easy to understand what is right there in front of your nose all the time Lol, ive gained so much in listening to you just wish i knew way back then that i know now, but its never to late and we always learning through out our lives, thankyou!!!
I’m a 55 grandmother that is suffering from empty nest syndrome. My grandson and daughter relocated to another city Any tips thanks
Great videos Noah, I believe people today lack balance in their quest for happiness.
I disagree when you say I cant think I am good unless I think others are bad because that is not true. For example, "I am a good mucisian" - I dont think others are worse than me and THEREFORE I am good, I think I am good because I can play instruments and notes and chords correctly. Or thinking I am good at sports, I dont think I am good because others are bad, but because I get better and better than last time. Or thinking I look good, I dont think others look worse than me therefore I look good, I simply like what I see in the mirror.
Just a TH-camr So are you saying that every other person is equally as good of a musician as you? Are you saying that the musicians who can't play notes and chords are correctly are just as good of a musician as you? Are you saying that the people who are as good as you were 6 months are not worse than how you are now? Are you saying that everyone else is equally as attractive as you? You may not realize it, but you are doing exactly what I described. You just have to be open and willing to admit that to yourself. But before you reply, spend a few days looking for yourself with the intention of really wanting to discover the truth. Because if you're not willing to admit what you're doing, you won't be able to stop.
Noah Elkrief To be completely honest, I don't see how I am doing what you described. There are people who are better and people who are worse than me in everything, I agree with that, so what? I don't need to compare myself to others in order for me to think I am good.
Just a TH-camr It is called relativity. The word good only has meaning as long as there is bad to compare it to. If you could only get an A in school no matter how poor you did the test then an A would no longer be good would it? Getting an A is only good if you could have also gotten an F.
So being a "good musician" only has meaning as long as there is such a thing as a "bad musician" to compare it to.
SilentStream The question is, is it okay to see yourself as a better musician? That means that there are also bad musicians. What is a good musician you may ask, well someone who has control over hes instrument and knows what he is doing. Any musician can agree with that. A beginner obviously doesn't. Is that bad? No, it isn't but is he on the same level as you? No. Does that make him a less better player than the other musician? Yes but that's okay. It isn't a bad thing nor a good thing. So you see musician as a bad musician but that doesn't mean it is a negative thing. It's something where we all started and he can become good as well. So how am i supposed to think? Should i forget good or bad. Just think about normal? Someone who can't play notes and chords is normal. Someone who can play it is normal.
Ilias Joels It's okay to think that. There is nothing immoral about it. The point of the video was that thinking like that isn't going to make you happy, and it isn't true. So I believe I am a good musician because I have more control over my instrument than most musicians do. I only believe this because it's what most musicians believe, and because I want to be seen as a good musician by others, I will practise a lot.
Now some musican comes along and he has a different standard. He says control over the instrument is not very important at all. To him the ability to convey your feelings on the instrument is what makes a good musician. Hearing this would probably upset me or make me angry, because here is someone who doesn't see me as a good musician, but why would this alternative standard be any less valid?
Both standards where completely made up, and just because a lot of people believe in one of them does not make it any more true. I could make up another standard: "A good guitarist is one who can trash his guitar in the least amount of blows at the end of a concert." This one is just as valid as all the others because they are all just made up.
If one of them where really true then everyone would agree about it and it would be self evident.
If you toss out all the standards you can't compare yourself anymore, so you won't be better, worse or equal. Maybe you won't want to play the instrument anymore, or you will just play for enjoyment.
Thankyou 😊
I have a question if u expect or seek to be happy are you not also setting yourself for dissapointment when u get unhappiness n if u seek peace or expect to find peace r u not setting yourself up for dissapointment when u find no peace is not happiness n peace also a feeling which comes n goes within your thoughts is not happiness n peace only in thought n imagination as well n if so r they a lie n unreal too c u can't see touch grab smell happiness n peace in reality either so there fore if that is what we seek or want in life then that too we will never find c it only exist in or thoughts n imagination n never in reality
Hey man, what do you define as "real life"? Also, what are your thoughts on the law of attraction?
i'v watched a lot of his videos, so i pretty much know that he will say... real life is anything that isn't a thought, ex: good and bad, better or worse ect... and law of attraction creates suffering, because if i understand law of attraction it means... you think positivty of somthing u want in the future, but if u think positivly of somthing u want in the future, ur subconciouslly make the current momment lack and if you don't get your desired out come you wont be satasfied ( but you will never be satasfied even if you get it becasue, it wont take away all of ur suffering therfor your going to think... " i need more of this"... and also you be afraid of losing what is good, what makes you happy.
My guess is trauma victims(rape, abuse,...) may have a difficult time dissolving law of opposite concepts (good v. bad) to achieve *being*. In general, I think you're spot on, and the battle against ever extreme warping messages in our culture can't be won without these types of insights.
flatswing The people that come to me with trauma are able to, but yes, I agree, most people are not able to discover that. It is very very hard for them. But as you get more and more value in other parts of your life from discovering there is no "bad", more and more openness takes over you.
I have a question is kind of based on your other videos 1. do you have a wife or a girlfriend, and if you do, do you fave kids and how does that make you happier or if does not why would have them.
Hello noah you video woke me up from the cheap loa scam
Maestro
I think the types of suffering that you attributed to being confident are actually attributes of LOW confidence. Let's not confuse TRUE high confidence (in one's abilities, well-being, etc.) with pretend-confidence.
+humanyoda Please explain what you believe is true confidence that exists separate from imagination and thoughts (which are all insecure and based on what society has taught us).
+Noah Elkrief It doesn't live separate from thoughts, but what I had in mind is much more useful than the version you described. What I call true confidence and what another poster here called real confidence is one that doesn't depend on other people's opinions.
It is based on knowing that the person can handle difficulties, solve tasks, achieve goals, etc. It is also based on being able to accept temporary "failures" or realization that he can't do/achieve something - without much emotional upheaval.
+humanyoda If you think that a success means "I am good", then you have to believe a failure means "I am bad". Since we never know whether we will succeed or fail tomorrow (no matter how many successes we have had), then our belief "I am good" is inherently insecure and unstable. Part of our self-image is based on what others think of us, and part of it based on our apparent successes. But, both are equally insecure, and therefore both result in anxiety. If I win 5 grammy awards on my last 5 albums, do I know that I will win anything on my next album? if success and love from fans or critics makes me feel pleasure "I am good", then if I fail to win anything, if critics don't like my music, or if fans don't like my music, then I will think "I am bad". No matter how many years, I have thought "I am good", no matter how much factual evidence there seems to be for why "I am good", it is not stable. Therefore, we will fear losing it. This is the case with successful businessmen, athletes, musicians, and everyone else that we could view as having "real" confidence. There is no confidence that is "real" and therefore no confidence that is stable or secure. Therefore, as long as we want to keep the pleasure from thinking "I am good", we will fear losing that pleasure.
roasted
Hey Noah
I'm confused a little bit on how these videos impact me, you say all this stuff on how everything out there can't make you happy and all that. you think it would help me realize and make me feel relaxed and happier, but not really. It almost makes me feel worse, every single time i wan't to engage on an activity with my friend instead of trying to have fun i'm there thinking "well since this can't make me happy, whats the point". I've tried watching all of your videos and none of them really "click" to me, they make me realize of course but it almost feels like the information i am taking in is telling me to do nothing. And i do know that might make me feel better but i wan't to live and active life because all I've done for the last 3 years is do "nothing". Well not all of your videos don't "click" to me because the anger management really helped. I just don't know, i constantly try and see the thoughts that make me suffer and make me do nothing but i can't seem to. I do have some possible cause though of my suffering, maybe its because i'm 13 and hormones are kicking in. Though that's most likely not the cause.
I'd like to hear back from you on what you think of what could be causing my suffering :).
ScottishSwallow First of all, any activity can give you a happy moment. So, by all means, engage in any activity that seems to provide you with happy moments. Whether that is sports, video games, friends, or anything else. Anything that you enjoy, give your all towards. If you give your full attention to anything, you will be fulfilled. Don't spend all your time looking at thoughts. Just work to disbelieve the ones that seem to create a lot of suffering. If you try to get rid of all of them, that would be overwhelming. For how to deal with the random thoughts, use my how to meditate video.
Noah Elkrief Ok, thanks. You're still the best by the way :D.
Wouldn't you say though that having confidence makes you act more spontaneous simply because being confident means you won't care what others think about you?
I've always been taugh and told that being confident means you can do anything and others opinions won't affect you because you have a strong "core" or foundation.
Can you clear this up?
Thank you.
***** If you believe you are a good dancer, then you will fear others' thinking you're a bad dancer, so you won't be open to spontaneously dance in ways that you think aren't good. That same logic applies to everything that someone thinks they are good at. However, sometimes when people are confident, they also have an aspect of their self image called "I don't care about others' opinions". I had that one. So, this one is quite interesting. In social situations, I often did stupid/silly/crazy "spontaneous" stuff. But, I actually felt pressured to act that way, because if I didn't, then it would be hard to continue thinking of myself as someone who is "carefree" or "spontaneous" or "so confident that others opinions don't affect me". You cant have those identities unless you constantly act in ways that prove it.
When we are afraid of losing our imagination of ourself (for example to be cool) why is easier to be awkward with my friend than some stranger. Very similar situation but I can deal with my awkwardness much more easier in front of my friend. But still I can have fear of losing that I am cool.
Elvin Futa Because your friend sees enough of you that you know they won't judge you based on one experience.
Thank you Noah for these great videos! I learn a lot from you. By the way, you mention that you lost your self image at some point. Is there any video in which you talk about this? Do you have a plan to make a video about your story of losing self image in the future?
I love your videos Noah and I love you too!
Oh man you touched so many nerves with this one, I will have to watch it again to assimilate them all. Especially with "If I am not doing something productive I am wasting my time (wasting my time being reason for suffering)". This very idea have always been my number 1 source of misery, and I've had it for as long as I can remember. I'd say the original cause for it were all the external expectations from my parents (mainly), teachers and so on. But blame game is not going to help anybody at this point so..
Another point I want to address is about the need to act according to your self image. This concept was first brought to my attention by a motivational speaker (whose name I can't recall right now), with words along the line "The strongest force in the Universe is to act according to who you believe you are". It was presented as something positive in that video, like a way to get rid off your bad habits (by stopping associating your self image with them) and building good habits by doing the opposite. What's your take on that? And more generally what's your take on habits as a whole, your ideas seem to indicate we should avoid any habits. Would you say there are any habits we should strive for?
Com Tube To act according to a self-image, is to act inauthentically in a moment. And when we act according to how we want to view ourselves, instead of how we feel in the moment, the result is suffering. There is nothing wrong with a practical habit. But, no habit can give you peace.
Noah I just want to say I am really enjoying your videos and learning about how to deal with feelings and stuff as I want to be counsellor or something along that line and I am actually learning some interesting stuff from this video as its not your opinion it's actual logic of our perspective. I do have one question tho, I am am not confident and in fact very insecure and trying to learn to be confident through these videos .. But is it worth it of I get bad thoughts being confident as well?
very nice noah
It's true that there can not be shadow without light, but you can think you're smart without thinking others are stupid, or that you are good without thinking others are bad.
You can't think you're smart without you setting a standard on what you believe is "smart" Thus others who do not meet this standard are what? Not smart. Do you see?
+ali parman You may not be saying that some people aren't smart out loud, but you must be assuming it. Otherwise, you wouldn't call yourself smart. All labels serve to distinguish one from another.
+diggsmiggs I like chocolate ice cream the best. I also like vanilla, but not as much. I don't have to say any flavors are bad in order to recognize that certain flavors are better.
+calohtar That analogy doesn't apply. It would only apply if u said u were better than those flavors.
diggsmiggs Actually, it does apply. You are focusing on the fact that I am not of the objects being compared, but that fact is completely irrelevant to this discussion.
The analogy was meant to illustrate that one thing does not have to be bad for another thing to be better. Whether or not I am one of those things does not change the logic at all.
If you can demonstrate how or why it invalidates the analogy, I would be extremely impressed. Otherwise, I encourage you to think more objectively before reactively rejecting ideas you disagree with or find uncomfortable.
But to save time, let me try another analogy. I am a painter. I like my drawings, and other people like my drawings. I am a good painter. But I like Bob's paintings better. Other people also like his paintings more than mine. I think Bob is a better painter than me, but that doesn't make me a bad painter. We are both good painters, but Bob is better.
Happy New Year Noah!
Chloe Minaya Thank you Chloe! Happy new year to you too!
Happy New Year Noah,
When you emphasize about believing in happiness then we must also believe in the opposite which is suffering. Don't you think it's better not to believe in any state of mind then ?
Thank you :)
Fadi Daban You're welcome. If you believe "I am happy" you will be afraid to think "I am unhappy".
Yeah, thks
I'm one who has been on a journey to find self confidence and I can relate to all of your 8 points. I guess instead of having lack of confidence I actually have confidence? I would think the lesson then for me would be to not care about what other people think? I need to think about this perspective. 😳 it could be life changing.
Well , let me share this with you. I was a guy who most of my peer see me as very confident. i dare to leave university at the age of 19 and starting my own business. Staying alone without help from parent which is not common thing for teen in my country. Most of my action were view as rebellious and confident. However , deep down inside i feel trembling all the time. Everyday i feel like my heart would race as i always fear that i will fail with my life. What i trying to said is i observe that a very confident person deep down inside is shaking , but his way of reacting to combat with daily life is to fight. Which most of them not really has a choice over there action as it automatic. So sometime it not weird that even thought you look confident on the outside but inside you feel like you are "not there yet"
i have no answer for your second question.
312fun4u It's not about trying to not care what others think. It is about recognizing the difference between who you are, and an imaginary story that occasionally pops up in your head.
Hi Noah! I really enjoyed your video. I am just a little bit confused with something... If you are attracted to someone physically, does it mean you are judging others? Sometimes there is no way of helping feeling attracted to someone physically and thinking they are attractive.. so does that mean you are mean because you are comparing him to someone you think is ugly?
Also, I watched your video on relationships and you talked about how some might think you are beautiful and some might think you are not... does this video mean you are neither? does with this video mean they are judging and mean by doing that?
I am a little bit confused... hope you can help me understand :)
+Ana Candiani This is an excellent question. I had the same thought... what does our attraction to certain people mean in the context of this topic?
Thank u for this video :-)
thank u bro
Great video! It makes sense now
The Wolverine :)
Well, how do you than overcome some obstacles that are important in life for you(me) but are hard? Not everybody has the opportunity to be like a flower. Sometimes you need to deal with people who think there is a duality and arent so englightened. How do you keep going when everything is empty? I feel like you are saying to just be, and do nothing. Thanks :)
TheHeyhOi If you have a particular situation you are suffering with, you can try one of my other videos that seems relevant to that issue. If it is a functional issue, like how to get a job, then you can still do research and use your mind to do the best you can to make that happen.
God bless you ❤
Hello, how are you now after watching these videos?
Hello Dr. Elkrief,
I just saw your confidence video and got a lot out of it. I thank you for it. Let me ask you this, though: if, as you say, confidence isn't real or tangible and thus cannot make us happy, then why is it that in almost every "survey" or "poll" of women when asked what's the #1 thing they look for in a man, it's always confidence? Is that just something concocted in the heads of most women? Because if it is, then there are an awful lot of them looking for something that most men don't need because it's not real.
I thank you again for your videos...David
remme6 Hi David, I'm not a doctor, but women don't want confidence, they just want someone that doesn't get jealous and feels free enough to be themselves. They just call this confidence even though it's not.
Noah Elkrief Hi Mr. Elkrief (my apologies for addressing you as "doctor"). I thank you for responding to my last comment. So, based on what you said, then women who say they're looking for "confidence" in their men don't know what confidence is? I've also heard and read women say they're looking for men who look "fit". If that's the case, then it must be something else they don't like about me, for instance that I'm ugly, because I used to workout like a bodybuilder four days a week and they still never paid any attention to me. And, yes, I am ugly.
Hi noah! I was just wondering if you planned on ever writing any more books in the future?
Hayley Center Hi Hayley, yes, I've been working on a new book for a year. Might be done around summer.
Hello Noah
I've watched your videos about social anxiety and they're helping me a lot, even if it's hard to integrate this concept of "Good and bad only exists in our imagination".
Noah, do you feel happy when you see yourself helping all this people? If your channel doesn't know the success that he's going through now, will this affect you?
I don't know why but if i try to think like that, i feel like everything is meaningless, like if it's useless to do good in life, to be kind with people etc... I hope that i'm clear, i'm not criticizing your ideas, they help me a lot, but it's just hard to me to get my mind used to this kind of ideas.
Which videos do you advise me to overcome this spiritual obstacle?
Vicious Drissicious Everything is meaningless, but not as a belief that it is meaningless. But in reality, there is no such thing as meaning. This sounds dire to the mind, it thinks that joy comes from meaning. And without meaning there will be emptiness. But, the opposite is true. When you stop looking for meaning from something that has meaning, the result is freedom, joy, lightness, and much more. I get no joy from helping people. When someone is helped, I feel emotionally touched in the same way that I would if I saw someone do well on X Factor. It isn't personal to me, I didn't do it.
+Noah Elkrief Noah you should make some videos about enlightenment
22:50 hold it in your hand, not heart
As I see it, what you talk about is not self confidence. It is a person's self image that was created at a certain period of his life and he is becoming nervous of keeping it. Actually, that person is not confident at all...
+endless cain Yeah, I think Noah described somebody who desperately wants to appear confident but isn't one.
But you are the greatest person in the world! ;)
Krystal Catlos :)
I do love you ❤
Your voice gives me anxiety and relaxes me at the same time lol idk I'm just weird
Yellowperez haha you're welcome and sorry i guess
why dislike this?
21:06
Anyone else think he looks like Ted Mosby from how i met your mother?
Uzair Hussain nuh, cesc fabregas, v similar
If someone murders your family, is that good or bad in your mind?