DEAR PARENTS OF TRANS YOUTH
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
- Hi everyone, so I decided to make a video with my mom since sooo many people were asking about it. This is more of her perspective to help educate some parents who might not know what to do about their kids. I really hope this helps a lot of you get a better understanding of what it's like for parents. I hope that maybe this can even help some of your parents if they are willing to watch it. I'm trying to show the reality of this aspect of my life. I want everyone to have support, and every parent should support their kid no matter what. As always, comments are always open for me to respond to :) ILUALL have a great night!
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brilliant video man. thanks Mama Collins for everything that you've said, this will help so many kids and their parents :)
Jeydon Wale ily Jeydon
Thank you Jeydon! :) I watched your video as well, great job!
jeydon commented oml
Jeydon Wale Jeydon!!!!!!
Oh, hey man : )
hearing your mom refer to you as her son so effortlessly is a beautiful thing
thanks, it took me a little bit to get used to the correct pronouns, but of course, 5 years later I feel I've always had a son...and would feel odd now saying daughter. It gets easier, it gets better. :)
@@sheilaj.1163 you are beautiful :')
Sara V I know, I'm almost crying rn
I was just gonna comment that and it's so wonderful!
Sheila J. Can you be my mom?
As an ftm who has tried his best to be a girl for my mom, this is just so great to see. My mom is not supportive at all. Luckily I'm 18 but still I wish I had her support. Now especially since I tried to be a girl she's like "Well obviously it's a phase I mean you wore a dress before and liked it" I mean yeah I look good in a dress but that doesn't mean it's right for me?
you shouldn't have to "try" to be anyone that you are not. You have to go with your gut and do what you want to. If your mom sees you happy as a man, and you stick with it, she will learn to accept if she wants you in her life. Good luck!
Thank you so much!
I like the idea of a gay boy wearing pastel clothes and a skirt. Some guys cross dress. It's a thing. Wearing a dress doesn't make you a girl.
Same here but my moms coming around. Good luck to you
My mum did the same thing and was alway like, ‘Why don’t you wear dresses more, if I had your figure I would wear them all the time.’
She just didn’t understand that dresses made me feel uncomfortable. Since then I’ve discovered I’m trans, though I haven’t managed to come out to her yet. Regrettably, I’m scared of the consequences.
When I came out to my parents, they told me that they would support me, but they didn't. My dad started saying things like "if you glue feathers on yourself, it doesn't make you a bird" and "I didn't raise a boy, I shouldn't have to raise one now." And now they just refuse to talk about anything trans related.
I'm so sorry!
Im really sorry
:( that's not fair
Same! My family say they support me but they refuse to use my preferred pronounes.
My mom does the same thing, she thinks that just cuz she hasn't thrown me out of the house that she still "supports" me
I came out to my mom, and after two years of me trying to explain how I felt to my mom, and informing her about transsexual topics such as operations and treatment, she ignored everything I've said, and she kept "pushing it away". She thought I was going through a phase. Unfortunately all of my family is unaccepting, except for my brother.
I just recently left the house, I'm in a shelter for the homeless. LOTS of support, Love and Kindness was given to me. I'm going to be set up with a job, a place to live, and a therapist. I share this because I don't want someone to wait for so long for unloving people to change their beliefs, just take the step yourself in a situation like that. I realised that I didn't need aproval from anyone so that I can make my life choices to be happy. Don't be afraid to reach out, help and support is out there somewhere. I wish I had done this sooner.
i love this comment thank you for it
***** I've learned not to give a shit about people against me being trans, you need to meet people in person who are goin through transitions, you'll see that it is possible to have a meaningful life being who we are. Maybe it won't be with the people you imagined it to be, but you will love yourself and you will think it's better than hating yourself trying to please the wrong people.
Daniel Langston this helps. Thank you
:O DUDE. I am so sorry you were in a family that didn't accept that, I'm glad you've found a good situation. MASSIVE PROPS for finding yourself, and prioritizing your feelings. That is SO important. Keep going man.
Daniel Langston make sure you keep your brother close.
Even you're trans or not, everybody should watch this video, this is such an inspiration of love and bravery
YOUR MOTHER IS BEAUTIFUL
awe.. ty!
|-/
RIGHT!
||-//
I've attempted suicide and my parents still don't understand that this isn't a phase. They found out I was transgender almost a year ago, and I know I shouldn't be rushing them, but I'm your child! Like, I've been to the mental hospital 3 times now, and they still don't understand!!! But, I feel like if I show them this video, they might finally understand. Thank you so much for making this, and I love both of you so much!
I'm so sorry :( I hope you showed them the video & they're a little more understanding with what you're going through. Every kid needs their parents support & love. Let me know how it goes.
Im so sorry, i wish for the best for u
I'm so sorry.
Best of luck to you, if you havent heard it your looking very handsome today and very masculine.
I miss my dark hair!
Sheila J. Don’t worry. You look gorgeous with any hair color. ❤️
You still look beautiful!!
You're a wonderful person. :)
You’re a great mom!!!!!!
You're beautiful no matter what
Whenever you've mentioned your mom in your videos, I always thought "That lady seems awesome." I was right.
well, TYVM
It amazes me how supportive you are . I recently came out as transgender ftm to my dad and he reacted very badly and started screaming in my face and he now thinks by screaming in my face its all gone away . Got any advice on what to do ?
thank you so much for the nice comments. I'm sorry about your dad's reaction, perhaps in time he'll come around? it can take people, especially parents, a while because it's a shock to hear what your child is/has gone thru and we're not sure how to handle it. I didn't take it really well at first (i didn't scream in Sam's face tho), I just was shocked and needed some time to figure out what I could do to help him...I'm hopeful your dad will do the same :)
you have the same name as my brother so i was just a bit confused there lmao
Hi sam u havr pretty mom like u ..plz frndship with me where i can contact to u plzz help me .
LIKE THIS IF U GOT NOTIFS ON, if not just make sure ya click the little bell by the subscribe button :) hope this video finds you all well
Sam Collins so proud of you ily💗
Sam Collins love u
im so proud, love u
Sam Collins you already know I got them
Sam Collins here you are again saying the word 'parent' ugh. I love it
isn't it a good idea to translate this video in multiple languages?
Loads of us are from different countries and some parents do not speak english. So they can watch the video with subtitles.
Maybe we all could help. I could translate it to dutch. And others could translate it to their language. idk.
Yes please. That would be amazing
ewwww.. I hear my thick Boston accent! LOL
Sheila J. No! its adorable!
Thanks but it's not! LOL
You're an awesome mom !
I’m from Michigan so I feel really bland, I love your accent!
Sheila J. But it's so cuuuuuuute 💕
I want a mom like yours..... mine is mean to me and she won't refer to me as he or him :(
Im so sorry, i pray that ur mom will eventually understand
AJ I’m sorry I’m working on mine calling me he/him
Same
Yeah same
Because you are not a him, and will never be! Biological female.
I want to show this to my parents. I want to show them so bad. But I'm so scared. When I came out, my mom told me to stop watching TH-camrs who are trans, she thought they were influencing me to think I'm trans. She told me I'm not allowed to hang out with anybody who is not cis. I was asking the other day if I could hang out with a friend. "Is she trans or anything I should know about?" When she says things like that, it kills me. She uses my birth name. She calls me a girl. It hurts. It feels like she's stabbing me in the heart. But she keeps doing it, even if I tell her that. Because I'm her "little girl". And it hurts. I cry almost every day because of it.
I'm sorry you're going thru this.. It's tough for parents at first, how long ago did you tell her? maybe let her watch this video. She may need to hear it from another parents perspective.
Urgh... I understand what you feel... I didn't came out as trans yet but if I do, my mom will always see me as a girl, and laugh and call me weirdo if I say that I'm a trans ftm, she always say "Hey be at least a bit feminin, IDK, wear dresses, do girls things, you know!" and I hate that because I'm not a fucking girl...
OMG that's horrible! I feel so bad for you. I haven't come out to my parents yet but I'm really anxious. Once I come out I hope to finally be called Daniel. I want people to use he/him/his. I'm tired of being a girl. I've always appreciated getting mis gendered. Being called he just feels right.
I'm so, so sorry! I hope everything works out in the end.
I have the same problem right now. Everytime its brought up even the slightest bit she immediately starts yelling and telling me to love what God gave me cause it's all I'm ever gonna have. I tried sending her videos like these but she wont even try to learn or understand being transgender. Looking back I dont think I was ever truly attached to her, and calling her 'mom' just feels wrong but I do it because when I call her by her given name she will stare me down to intimidate me.
Basically: If You Love Your Kids When Their Born.. Love Them When They Transition.
I will love them, but still not agree that transition is the ideal for everyone.
I love this, I almost cried ❤️ mama has shown endless support and every child needs that from a parent. I see her saying "there it is" IM SCREAMIN
LMFAO TASHHINANDEz
Shut up ya dumb LOL
TY Tasha!
Sheila J. No problem mama :)
TashiiNandez. i did cry
I told my mom, and she wasn't surprised at all. Now she still calls me ''daughter'' and uses the wrong pronounces. I'm not sure what side she's on.
DutchMattyBRapsFan Hi :) I just want to say that your mom might not have been surprised, but it is still a process to fully accept it. She is 'loosing' a daughter and it is very difficult. Even though she gets a happy kid back. I suggest you talk to her about it. Say how you feel and ask how she feels about it. Also tell her that it would mean so much to you if she called you her son. Communication is so important, and you want her to accept you, so you need to give her the time she needs. Have a nice day and good luck. Also, seeing in your name that you are Dutch? Go watch Love me Gender with your mom if you haven't seen it. It might help her understand things better.
Tanya Rizvi I think I can cope with it, if she isn't explicit with calling me 'her daughter' or 'a girl'. If she'd only use she/her pronounces, I think I'd be okay.
Jason Thank you so much! I am really bad in communicating, with literally anyone. So this is a really tough subject to talk about with her. Literally a few seconds after I told her, I had to leave, and she said ''Okay, bye _daughter_'' and I got mad, so she said ''Now I can still call you daughter''. So I think she is willing to accept it, but she just is very uneducated.
DutchMattyBRapsFan Alright, not the best situation. But you are good at writing about it, so I suggest you write her a letter. Tell her what transgender exactly means, and what it means to you. Make a list of things that change and things that stay the same. Because you are you, the only thing changing is that you are finally gonna be happy, and that is very important. O, and you name and stuff changes of course. But that reaaallyyy takes a long time.
I'm in the exact same spot
Listening to her call him "he" and "him" and "his" is so beautiful
sending this to my mom right now. im terrified
I hope it went well💜
how'd it go?
Wat happened
I am too, petrified, I hope it went well, though!
Good luck
sam, i want to come out so bad but I'm so fucking scared. i retweeted this video hoping my mom might see it. I'm literally in tears rn panicking because i want to do it so bad but I'm too fucking scared. help idk what to do
I hope your mom gets it and understands.
Sheila J. Thank you Sheila I hope so too
Lifewithsteph I wish u the best :/ u have to tell her one day.. if u want to be happy, so better face the fear and do it! easier said than done I know I know
it took Sam time also (to tell me), because he was scared of my reaction.Do it when you're ready. Maybe send her links to places for resources. I'm actually going to post some resources now on his TH-cam video comments for people that need them. Good luck w/your mom. I'm sure in time, she will accept it and come around :)
Sheila J. Thank you so much
I used this in counciling to show my grandma. my councilor is going to use this video for all trans now
BITCH WTF THAT'S SO GREAT.
@@renee7006 THAT'S AWESOME!
YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!
This is so important. I'm going to show this to my mother, she's been struggling to understand or support me these past few years and I think this will help her a lot. Thank you, your mom is seriously amazing. The support she has for you is just beautiful.
thank u so much i hope it helps
TYSM, I hope she watches it and can understand :)
Sheila J. - You are a wonderful Mother. Blessings. You should open your own channel and advice other parents 🙋🌹
My mother watched the video after I spoke to her, she's insanely accepting and really understanding. She was the only one at Christmas that gave me the appropriate gendered presents and wrote my chosen name on my gifts. She even bought me a binder. I was speechless and cried like a baby. So grateful for you guys and the parents that have the heart to try to understand such a confusing thing. Much love. Xoxoxo
awesome! :)
i feel like i need to show this to my parents - i'm 16 and i already kinda started transitioning from male to female By wearing makeup etc but i still havent come out yet and i'm very scared
As a trans person myself I'm now realizing that I reacted like his mom did I was in denial for a long time and I couldn't physically say the word transgender and then I was questioning myself and it consumed me and I bought books I researched like CRAZY! I relate lol
your mom is so sweet thats so cool
TY :)
your mom is so amazing and honest. its really incredible to see a parent being so supportive
TY Rachel
My parents think that I'm choosing to be trans, so they aren't going to help me
So sorry to hear that :(
Jordan Roach Most of my family and friends that I've come out to have been like that. My mother, a couple of friends, one of my teachers, and my cousin support me though. Everyone else treats me like shit
ME TOO and I have no idea how to handle it
Yeah...my dad thinks it's a joke...
Virtual hugs from a mom.
How could some parents just throw their children out? It’s sad to think about parents just dropping all feeling and love for their child and just throw them out. People say, “think of the children” because if people know their trans then support them. Just because people are Gay, Lesbian, trans, etc doesn’t make them less human.
your mum is A WONDERFUL human and so are you dude
TY :)
I told my mom I was transgender and how I wanted to become a girl but she didn't believe me and tries to push it alway. It breaks me inside how it breaks me outside 😭😞 ig I have to wait 4 more years until I'm 18 .
Michael Recinos I'm sorry to hear that, hun
Ren Winters it's ok 🙂ty
Michael Recinos Just remember, things will get better. Patience can be very rewarding. My boyfriend and I are having to wait to transition until we get older.
I'm going though the same thing but I'm Ftm not mtf like you and my parents don't support me and I also have to wait 4 more years till I can start hormones 😬
Macabre Mort dude why u call em hun
I really, really needed this video. I'm planning on coming out when I visit home from college over winter break. Thank you Sam. You have no idea how much I needed this video. I was looking for a video like this that I could show my family.
I cannot thank you enough.
You mean so much to me.
i love u so much more :)
How did it go? I'm giving you my support, fighting!
My parents are religious and I'm scared to come out as ftm trans i once had a transgender flag case for my phone and my mom said to take it off it's bad so i have panic attacks and i bind secretly it's just so hard
Good luck...
Sheila J. Thanks
i'm so sorry im ftm and my parents brush it of as a phase
How are you now?
@@bonkkus Oh shit man I'm sorry. God I don't remember even making that comment I got a diagnosis and my parents are paying for my transition now, I hope things improve for you m8. My parents only treated it as a phase for a month or so cos of the denial but then became good so i hope yours improve as well
The way she says "my son" so easily makes me happy :)
believe me, it was not easy in the beginning (I would say it took me a good 6 mths to get it right)..I'd slip up a lot and it would embarrass Sam, not it's awkward of weird to even think of Sam as my daughter, or she/her, odd.. It shows you though that it's possible to retrain your brain even on something as tough as this. having a daughter for 16 years and then having to switch all the pronouns, tough..but anyone can do it, IF they WANT TO! :)
@@sheilaj.1163 we’re so proud of you for actually trying, unlike so many parents
This made my day! Im transgender Male To female, but i was afraid my parents would never support me. I have told them once and they didn't really believe me and said it was my cousins fault, who is transgender. So now i cant speak with him because of that and he was my only help. Ive been depressed for so long and ive wanted to tell them again, more formally. Bur i feel like I've already failed. They tell me they love me everyday but i dont really know if they do. Thank you so much! This video made me sub to you guys💟
Hey! How is it going? I know I am someone random, but I really hope you are doing good. I mean, ur comment is from 2 years ago...but anyway. I am sure you look beautifull, and I hope u are better.
@MAKENA WINKIEL thanks! O actually have good news, im not too sure if my mother is supportive with it, but we have a good relationship now. And my father accepts me for who i am now, and we're very close. I learned a LOT about not only myself, but about others during these two years. I learned to be more independent and understanding of others too, and was finally able to spend time and bond with my parents, so i say its good!!
@@pearsquare3078 hi that's amazing 🥰, sending a virtual hug and lots of love😘
Your mom is such a wonderful woman. I'm really happy you have such a good support system. When I came out out to my mom, she acted like she was okay with it, but over time she showed me her true feelings, which were not good. She refused to help me or make me feel comfortable at all. I had to change my name and gender marker on my own, start hormones on my own, and now I'm working towards top surgery, on my own. She always finds really hurtful ways to remind me that she doesn't approve of me being transgender, and it's really hard sometimes. The day I got my first testosterone shot, I was happy over the moon. But on the drive back from the doctor's my mom made sure when I was telling her about how happy I was to remind me that she flat out doesn't support this. It turned one of the happiest days in my life into one of the worst days of my life. Thankfully, I moved in with my dad and am slowly mending my relationship with her from afar. I know that she still doesn't support me, and it's been really hard on me. My mom and I had a really close relationship for my entire life, and the past year since coming out has been really hard. Trans kids just need a healthy and strong support system, and it should definitely start with the parents. Otherwise, kids end up asking themselves, "If my parents won't even support me and love me for who I am, why would anyone else? Why should I?" It gives me hope knowing that some people do have supportive parents and do have parents who will love them unconditionally because that's how it should be. Thank you for making this video. I hope that it can help some of the struggling parents out there to learn to love and accept their children.
Not paying for surgery is one thing, but not supporting your child through tough times is so disappointing. I'm so glad there are good parents out there that support their children. Love this video 🖤🖤🖤
I'm showing this to my mom. I hope this helps her understand me being trans :). Your mom and my mom are very similar.
I hope it can help her too
Molly Guzman I want to tell my mum I just can't see her understanding
Very Gay how did it go?
I'm glad that your mom is so supportive and accepting. I have a family now that's basically adopted me and helps me as much as they can. They can't help me get and pay for my top surgery but I know they would if they could.
My birth family though I've completely stopped talking to and don't see anymore. They kicked me out and refuse to call me Eli to this day. My biological father has tried to ask my adoptive mother how I am but because he calls me my birth name she just corrects him and walks away. It sucks when parents won't support and love their children but I'm lucky because I have a family that not only accepts me but chose me too. So life is great now and I'm a happy man!
I'm about to send this video to my mom... I already told her that I wanna be a boy and I also told her that I like girls and she reacted pretty cool. She even said that I just have to embrace it and live the way I wanna live. Just when I mentioned that I wanna be on T to fully transition she freaked out and told me that it's against gods will which caught me completely off guard cause she never ever talked about god before... Still... thank you Sam and also Mama Collins for making this video. fingers crossed, guys!
how did it go? Did she watch it?
Sheila J. she said she watched it completely and I just asked her what she thought of it. She told me that she doesn't know if she can fully support me and that I would be "allowed" to take T when I turn 18 (I'm 16 rn) but she still doesn't like the idea of it. If she really doesn't support me with that, I won't be living with her any longer than I have to.
Hey could we get an update hope it going well :)
Hey omg sorry for never giving y’all an update! I’m turning 21 this month and I’m 6 months on testosterone :) it was a lot of ups and downs with my mom but our relationship is better than ever rn because i told her everything i’ve always kept from her cause i wanted us to be on the same page. She also informed herself where i could potentially get my top surgery done which is super sweet of her! So I think sending her this video helped a lot! thanks again sam and mama collins
@@christopherelgaa3262 omg that's great! I'm so happy for you and your mom :))). I'm thinking If coming out to my mum later tonight...
No matter what my mom just won't accept me for being male and it honestly sucks so much and I would hate to have some one else go through what I have to deal with everyday
Ikr my mom won't even look at the resources I give her.
you know what's sadder than not knowing how to be happy? it's knowing how to but not being able to do so, it's so unfair.
i'm a boy i know that i'm bi and the only thing that will really make me happy is my coming out but my parents will obviously reject me, whatever sam I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH AND I'M HAPPY FOR YOU AND I LOVE YOUR MOTHER SHE'S AWESOME
how do you know she'll reject you? give it a try. maybe send them some info on dealing with it all? sometimes parents are just scared and not sure where to turn for advice, resources. Good luck!
I was absolutely terrified when I came out to my mom. I come from a religious family and thought that there was no way in hell that she'd accept me. I had packed a bag on the day I came out and was prepered to have to run to my friend's house. I said "Mom, I'm a boy" and she said "I still love you" I was so happy I almost cried. If you haven't already came out, maybe this will help, I don't really know, I'm just sharing my story. Good luck to all~~
i came out to my parents and my mom started crying. then my parents just completely disregarded it the day after because they were in so much denial. it's been a year, and i don't wanna do it again
do what you're comfortable with. if you can't do it again then you don't have to, you'll just have to wait until you move out or something like that because its not always the easiest. but sometimes it takes more than once to come out for parents to understand
It's been 2 years since I showed this to my mom so I decided to show her again. She still uses my birth name, calls me a girl, changes the topic every time and try to talk about it, etc. She even says that she "supports" me just because she hasn't thrown me out of the house.
You're so lucky to have such an accepting mother I'm beyond happy for you I can only imagine how much better you feel knowing she's in your corner
you can't live your life as a lie and not be your true self. Do what you have to and live your life for YOU. If people want to be in your life, they will accept & support you. It's that simple..I wish you the best of luck! :)
I was crying throughout the whole video. I haven't come out to my parent as a FtM, but I did tell my mum that I had a MtF girlfriend which scared and pissed off my mum so much. She believed it's mental illness and she must have done something wrong that made me become this way. Our relationship was very very for a year until I got myself a cis boyfriend and start to hide myself again. Every now and then I feel so depressing, especially when my mum tells me how she thinks my life should be, e.g. get married and be a mother of kids. I'm so sad and can't live that life, but I don't want to break her heart, because I love her and I know she loves me, as she told me it's the easiest way to live my life and she doesn't want me to go through some hard times. However, I just don't care how hard it would be and I want to be myself and be happy. I'm very struggling. When I heard your mum saying the moment she saw your smile after the haircut, she felt good, I was so touched and wished my mum could feel the same way.
It's very difficult for a parent to hear at first, that their kid is struggling with their gender identity...especially if they do not know anything about it (like myself). It's kind of a shock at first, then you get scared and worry about the safety of your child..these are all things I dealt with when Sam told me..Once I got over the shock, I took it upon myself to research on the internet and get books about what trans is and how to help Sam. It was a long, long journey with alot of struggles but it's something a parent must do if they love their kid and want to support/respect him/her. It can take some time. If there are other family members that you are close to or friends, maybe they can help you sit down & talk to your mom about it and show her how serious you are about it..in time, I'm sure she will turnaround.
Ok this is a question I've been wondering. Is dysphoria classified as a mental illness?
@@crowleynotcrawley9283 it's more a condition I think. An illness is typically something you can find a cure for?.
There is no definitive cure for Gender Dysphoria, but transitioning and gender therapy is treatment to alleviate the symptoms.
@klw2099 I hope things are better for you now ❤️
sheila is such a cool mom!
agreed
TYSM
I wrote my mum a letter a few months ago, she ignored it and didn't ever speak about it saying it's a phase and it will go away, I'm being brainwashed. She is kinda good with clothes, she lets me choice where and what I want to wear, but she won't let me get a hair cut. But I just wish she kinda understood it more than she does. Thank you for making this!
im exactly the same as you, you're not alone :)
it sucks when parents completly ignore this. i sat with my mom about a half a year ago for an hour, and it never came up after that at all and honestly i thought it was a phase. i honestly did but it isnt i still feel that way and now i have to come out AgAiN
Cut it off my bro, I'm planning on doing it if my mom doesn't support me/doesn't let me.
when i came out to my mom it was 9 pm and i was bawling my eyes out. when i was done explaining everything, she said “You woke me up JUST to tell me THIS?” and went back to bed. my sister was PISSED at her the next day lol
your mother is one of the best people i've ever met bless
thank you !
Your mom is so sweet and adorable! I hope every parent of a trans person is like her.
TY :)
I came out to my Mom a week before the beginning of the school year in September, and it's been a really slow process in getting her to actually use correct pronouns- but we're getting there. I've become happier than I was a year ago where I was depressed and felt alone; It has been a struggle to get where I now am but I'm happy that I decided to come out to her because that was my first step in becoming happy with myself and with life. I felt happy to see this video and it just fuelled me with more hope.
awh im glad! it will only get better, its tough but it gets easier and better i promise
Awwww😎 that's literally so amazing I wish that could happen to me or at least come out but my parents are..... yeah. So sad
J P. Hunter I’m going through the same thing currently
I just came out to my mom :)
Carmen Richards how did it go??
Keegan Cooper great
Well done it's a hard thing to do 💪
Carmen Richards I'm so happy for you!
I'm so happy that your coming out was good!
Seriously now I feel bad because I went through this exact situation with my daughter. I told her she couldn't buy boxers mostly because we were on a tight budget but I did push the gender a little bit even though I suspect she's a closet trans (she hasn't come out, thus why the fem pronoun in case I'm wrong). She's the one who shared this vid with me, though. I mean I bought her some pretty awesome "boyish" things as well, but I still pushed a lil and now I feel bad.
well, it's ok to feel bad. Of course, I felt horrible after finding out from Sam's video that he was planning to come out right then, and I ruined it because I obviously had no clue what was going on. Don't blame yourself, don't feel guilty..just most of all, be supportive and loving to your child. That's our jobs as parents, no matter what our kids are going through, we need to be there for them.. :)
i rlly want to show my mom this because she refuses to accept me and says i’m going through a phase and that being trans is a trend and i’m trans because there is a lot of transgender propaganda on social media (yes she actually said that 💀) and my dad manipulated me into being trans but i’m scared of showing it to her because she’s gonna yell at me
I am trans (MtF) and still haven't came out to ANYONE yet, but watching this and seeing how much your mum loves you and supports you has really given me the urch to finally bite the bullet and come out to my parents!
Thank you, you are an inspiration for us all
theinsidebeat how did it go if you don't mind me asking? :)
I'm crying right now watching this I wish I had the support like you have from your mom. Coming out was the worst day of my life my mom won't even look at me the same and she calls me a freak and messed up in the head. You inspire me so much SAM!
Move out. That is so disrespectful, you have my support
I'm ftm transgender and I am terrified of coming out because I know my parents are so unsupportive of the LGBTQ+ community. I go to college in August and I plan on doing it after I move, but I'm still so terrified that something bad will happen. I know they won't accept the fact that I am a boy, but I know that I'm okay with myself enough to talk about it and I accept myself and I know that's all I have to do, but I'll never have their acceptance and it hurts to know that. I've tried to come out, more than once, but it never goes as planned and it gets ruined. I just don't know what to do at this point anymore. Things are hard.
Did you tell them?
I came out as trans to my parents yesterday and they were amazing. These videos really helped me.
so happy they are being supportive :)
POV: you’re watching this for the 30th time wondering if you should send it to your mom or not
IM SO PROUD OF YOU. ps i love ur mom hi sheila. i love u sam
ILY2 Rachel
I love you so much as a parent! You're amazing 💓💓
TY
Sam is very lucky to have you as a mom♥
TYSM
how did you tell your grandparents Sam? I am afraid to tell mine because they are old and I don't think they would understand.
all of my grandparents passed away before they really got to know me like this, but sometimes the age doesnt matter because i know a woman who is 87 and accepts me fully
Sam Collins I'm sorry to hear that about your grandparents. And thanks again for being an inspiration to me.
Rita is basically like Sam's grandma :) and she fully supports Sam.
tbh my grandparents are the type of ppl who get mad when a black and a white persona are in a relationship and I’m terrified of what they’ll think.
Ash I yeah sure some older people are unnacepting, but a lot are. If they call you the wrong pronoun, just politely tell them, "hey, I'd rather be referred as..." and hopefully they will understand. In the end, no one really knows what will happen, but I think it would be better to tell them so they don't live the end of their lives not the best in your mind for something you never told them.
Thank you so much for this! I showed this to my mom along with a few other videos and I think it really helped she actually called me "boy" this morning! ( she always says stuff like "my sweet girl" and stuff and it means alot for her to do this) she is an herbalist and isn't a fan of the idea of me starting t but she was talking about looking up some natural methods and whether that works or not things are looking better so thank you so much!
Good tip: if your parents aren't using your name, name a pet/plant your deadname so whenever they call you your deadname just act confused and be like "why are you asking the cat to take the trash out?"
I came out to my mom by hinting, like shopping in the mens and boys departments and asking for a binder. She knew I'd been suicidal and my explaining everything to her expanded and yeah, my family was confused at first but my mom and brother were accepting, my father's excepting now.
Your mom is the best and I know she replies sometimes so Sam's momma you're so great ! 💕 all moms should be like you!
TY
Today I came out to my mom and tomorrow I'm gonna show her this video. Thank you so much, Sam and Sam's mom!!!
Your mum is just a QUEEN
All hail Queen Shelia❤️
No I'm not, but thanks! LOL
My mom came into my room while I was watching this and she didn't called me by my deadname. I'm literally crying right now
wish my parent was as cool as yours mine told me they wished i was dead
uggh, that's awful. I'm sorry
I am in awe by the amount of love and support your Mom has for you. I am a cis female that lost my mom at 7. My gram raised me and was amazing. I love your channel Sam and your Mom is truly beautiful, open minded and honest. This was a great video to help ease other trans kids into telling your parents of who you are whole heartedly on the inside. Such an amazing support group for people!
i may not be trans, but i am pansexual.. it's a lot harder than i thought trying to come out to my parents because it's against my religion and they won't love me anymore..
rose how is it now?
me too but im trans, im 15 rn and in waiting to tell them when im out of the house, it's against her religion, it's not mine, why be in a religion that doesn't make you happy? it is really hard, we will get through this
I know that this comment is a year old but I don’t care. If you need help DM me I’m @lets_just_stab_caesar on instagram if you ever need to talk) and make certain (if you haven’t come out in the period between now and when you posted this comment) that you’re in a safe place. Make sure that if they don’t support you, you have a backup plan worked out. I don’t know who you are besides a little icon on my screen but I do love and care for you.❤️
@@draquesha1827 Off topic, but I love your instagram name. Omg
angelicdemonboy thanks mah bro
I just wanna say y’all so brave in the comments for coming out at such a young age. I’m 29 now and came out to my mom as trans at 28. For the longest time all my life I knew I was different but didn’t explore it because I was afraid my mom would not accept me and thus I delayed somewhat of what was my happiness. My mom did accept me in the end. Don’t ever delay your true happiness
I just recently saw this video and it brought tears to my eyes, you have no idea. It really made me cry and I am so happy for you that you had the easy mother to convince compared to me, I dunno if it has to do that my family is christians but they also use the facts against me, which isn´t right.
So my situation is that I came out to my parents when I was 16 or 15 as FTM trans ( don´t remember when completely because my mind have kind of pushed it a bit away) Anyway. I came out to my mom first as homosexual, and at that time I was in my first relationship with my best friend, which did´t last long as she got really furious and confused and kept on saying we did´t fit together. But that was alright because I figured I would rather want to keep him as a friend (this guy was a fellow trans, just that none of us had figured it out yet)
Alright so then I later (when I finally figured out what was the thing with me, "that I was trans") decided that, I couldn´t keep on hiding it for my mom, so I came out to her. And first she was really confused and all, and then she got just more and more annoyed over me talking about the subject to her. She began to resist me, and one day I got so tired of keeping it a secret from my dad (which smokes and is an alcoholic) because he began asking questions that I just began explaining and came out. (I am a alone child so I have no help of breaking it up when they decide to gang against me)
NONE of them supported me and I felt so alone... Still after that time I still feel a bit alone when it comes to family but I have loads of friends and some family members which supports me. And I am eternally thankful to them for being in my life.
I still don´t get support from home even though I am 18. I just started on my transitioning, and since I live in Norway it´s free as long as I get a diagnosis which takes a year with testing to conclude. I have at least 3 close friends which is FTM trans and one of them is my boyfriend who also supports me as if he is my dream man.
But yes whenever my parents bring it up they start to argue against me, and I feel small and helpless, no matter what I say they keep on saying the same thing, for example " You´ll ruin your perfectly healthy body", "You´ll never be a real boy", "Biology is what makes you you, you´ll only be a copy of a man." And so on and so on. It becomes a real drag down. It just pulls me down and I just want to give up the fight, but I have just started my steps get me closer to the ultimate life I wish and can be happy for...and I don´t want to give up until I can look myself in the mirror and say that that is finally who I am and I am happy about that.
I just wonder, Sam, do you have any tips for me on how to "fight" them? It feels like they are unstoppable and no matter what I say or do they won´t stop hating on me. They are my parents and I still love them, and I want to do anything for them to understand how I truly feel about it. I will most likely move away when I go to study somewhere but for now that´s not an option as I still got to my last year at High school.
I also just wanted to share my story, so I could let you others out there know that you are not alone and that you just have to stay strong to finally get to the goals
Once you're 18, you can do it all yourself. I know you want your parents acceptance, but it's ultimately their decision as to when they can do that. You can't really force it on anyone. I have an older sibling that cannot accept it and it was very hurtful for me to hear her words when she had issues with it. I haven't talked to her in over 4 years and yes, its sad because she is family, but again. I can't have people around Sam or I that are not open minded and accepting/supportive..Therefore, we cut that part of the family out. All the others are on board and support Sam fully, and that's all that counts. I wish you the best of luck, better days are coming :) Keep us posted.
Imagine disliking this comment
Wow I had totally forgotten I had written this. It's quite some years since now, kinda strange looking back at things.Thank you for your love and support really ❤ I remember I was in a really dark place back then, but now, my world is different. My parents have still not completely accepted me for who I am, but my mom has now become amazingly open and respectful towards my life choices which has helped me a lot. She now calls me by preferred name and pronouns which is a massive move since I first came out! It took a lot of arguements and convincing and also explaining. It actually went so far as that my best friend's mom had to argue with her over the phone for her to realise that it is possible to show equal respect even if she doesn't agree, in other words agree to disagree. And she's called me by my new name and pronouns since. At first I thought I was hearing wrong, but now it's a normal part of my everyday life which would have been my biggest dream back then and I am so appreciative over the position I am in.
Even if I realise my conflicts between me and my parents have been a big burden for me, I am also on the contrary happy about the fact that I didn't cut them out and give up on them. I guess I've never been the one to give up on people. Some are an impenetrable wall and an impossible case but I guess I saw potential in my mom, which is why it hurt so badly.
Again thank you. I want everyone to know that I am doing fine and that I have now began hormone treatment 2 years ago, which really helped boost my confidence and help me get a better overview and control of my life.
@@Growl_art write this made me internally tear up, so beautiful that you are doing better. ( ꈍᴗꈍ)🏳️🌈
@@kalliswhydouwannaknow564 Dawie 😭❤ Didn't want to make ppl sad on my behalf. Thank u for caring. 🥰
I read the thumbnail as 'dead parents' wtf is wrong with me
acn you adopt me :'(
Sam, you honestly mean so much to me idk what I'd do without you. You make me really happy and I'm glad you're in my life. You're the reason why I smile everyday and why I'm still here. I'm very very proud of you. You have accomplished so much in your life, I'm so happy for you. I love you so much and I want you to know that❤️ btw we are reuniting in 20 days😏 Sam's mom, thank you for accepting Sam for who he is and for helping him through everything. You're the sweetest and best mom in the whole world. Thank you for making him happy everyday and being a big part of his life. You're an example of a strong women. I love you mom💜
I LOVE U SO MUCH AHHH
Sam Collins I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MORE❤️❤️
I’m a mom who would love to find resources for parents. Thank you. Please share any links. I’ve beenlooking allnight long. thank you, again.
My childhood best friend is trans, I immediately accepted him when he came out, I'm also part of the lgbtq+ so it was easy for me. I was so happy for him when he got his haircut and came out, i helped him with tips on how to get a binder and such, but his mother is kind of in denial and still refers to him as her "little girl" even after he's asked her not to, among other things of course. i sent this to my friend saying "I think this can help your mom understand a bit better". I hope it helps them!! thank you :)
I fricking love your mom
ILY2 Angie
Im crying, I love your mom so much she is amazing (: I wish that my family was accepting.
awe, thanks! :)
Sheila J. My mom disowned me and kicked me out for being trans. I wish I had an accepting mom like u
I want to show this to my mom, but I don't know how. She's not accepting at all and is very strictly against it, she nearly kicked me out. I just don't know what to do..
this video is old, but some of these comments are heartbreaking. If you’re driving your child to the point of having to vent to complete strangers in a youtube comments section about trying to be themselves but not being allowed to, you’re doing something wrong. If you value “gods word” over the safety and health of your child, reconsider what “gods word” really is. do better.
I’m going through this right now..... I’m trying to come out to my close family and I’m pretty sure they won’t except me and I cry a lot because idk if I want to tell them but I rlly do want to tell them and this feeling won’t go away from my chest whenever I think about it..
Update: I came out to my mom the other day and she accepted me but she doesn’t fully understand what transgender is, she thinks I’m a lesbian and idk how to fully explain it to her!!!?
Mama Collins is a blessing to this world!! ❤
TYSM :)
OMG, your mom is so cute and such a lovely person. So glad you have her as a support system for you. I wish that every kid who is LGBT+ had this kind of parent. Such a light in the world
dude, i love you and your mom. incredible video.
i luv her too :)
I love how your mom referred to Sam as he, him, etc. Its just so beautiful how your mom is so accepting to you. Your really lucky Sam with your mom. Oh and to Sams mom, You raised an awesome son. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! 👍👍👍👍👍
Showed this to my mom I’m in the process of coming out for like the 3rd time. She’s coming along way! Thanks for the help.
glad we could help!
early squad where you at :)
Rebecca Hunter Yup Yup
I hear so much of this stuff around and I love these kinds of messages but I really need advice as to what to do now. What do I do? Is it my fault my mom dosent accept me? I feel I need to take the blame. I physically cannot cut my transphobic mom out because I have no were to go. She pays for me. I hate it so much and honestly it makes me wanna die. If I can't be a boy in this world, I don't wanna live in this world. But my parents won't get that (mostly my mom). I just don't know what I can do. Its summer now so I have swimming to deal with and everything is just the worst. So I guess this kinda stuff makes me sad.... I wish my parents would be like sam's.
hey man, I feel you. my mom doesn't know I'm trans, but she suspects it and has tried to force me to come out to her. I don't really have advice for you, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. maybe try finding friends who are accepting, or maybe people who are trans themselves, it might help you cope. you got this
I'm sad to say that I'm one of those commenters whose parents don't support them. Both of my parents are strictly Christian and don't like the idea of me being a trans male. They refuse to call me by my chosen name (Danial) and call me Katelyn. I've always known I wanted to be a boy. When I was younger I wore dresses and did all that but I never really liked girly things. I did it because it made my mom happy. I told my parents when I was 15-16 years old that I was trans and to this day (I'm 17 going on 18) they refuse to let me live how I want... once I'm 18 I'll be moved out and I'll be living with my best friend who supports me 100%.
Sorry about that. I'm hoping that one day they'll realize this is not a phase and is real for you. It may take you to move out & do your own thing, but it's so hard not to have the support of your parents/family. I hope they come around soon for you. Good luck :)
I am a mother to 3 kids. Ages 14, 12, 8. They know that I support them 100%. I've told them if they are gay or trans it doesn't matter to me. I will love them no matter what. I don't know why it's such a problem. I've been a huge supporter of the LGBT community since I was 14.🤗🤗
I sent this to both of my moms im literally shaking
THE "MY SON" JUST TEARED ME UP🥺
I love your mom😭 I came out to my parents and they just told me to get new friends and that its a phase. They said my friends and the internet are the "reason" im trans. I try talking to them about it and they say to stop saying I'm a guy and that "im a girl and will always be a girl."
You have an amazing mom. My mom isn’t talking me nor my brother.
Thank you. I'm sorry your family isn't talking to you., it takes some more time than others. Hopefully they'll come around.
If only my parents supported me like your mother supported you. Your mom is a wonderful lady and a very strong individual! You are SO lucky to have her!
TYSM :)
I came out to my parents exactly 1 year and 55 minutes ago and I have been thinking about how they still don't accept me and how earlier they said my deadname and that I was a girl and cannot change that, I would give anything for them to accept me because I love them, but i guess they don't feel like they need to respect me and love me in the only way I wish they would. If they accepted me that would help me so much during this time and i know it would be easier for me, you and your mom seem like the nicest people ever, I really enjoyed watching this video! :)
I am a parent, who just was told by my child who was born male that my child identifies as a woman. I am in shock, but supportive. I hope they find a way to be loving and accepting. Please understand that they had Hopes and dreams and plans in their mind of what your life will be and then the script was flipped on them. I'm crying as I write this because I chose my sons name, called him that in utero and love him beyond measure and now my whole world has been turned upside down too. I am the one that will have sleepless nights wondering about the safety of my child, the future employment opportunities etc... Keep trying with them. I am searching for a family therapist for all of us. so we can learn about all of this. It is a new subject. My child is 20 & I am 60, so this is such a big change for all involved.