She should move on with the part of her life she's always known.. It would be wonderful if the seeking child always got the emotional payoff they dreamed of in these cases. The reality is that it doesn't always turn out that way, though.
@@kathrynwitte3398 I am sorry, she may have many unattended traumas that do not allow her to leave the past behind. Obviously, she is not happy but that is not your fault . Hopefully one day she will reconsider for her own sake. Don’t follow her example, look for help, pray and heal. I wish you the best ❤️
The family that raised her did a wonderfully job. She’s precious, and beyond well adjusted given the circumstances. Very strong lady. Wish her the very best.
Her biological mother is a COWARD!! I don't care what circumstances or what affairs, if I ever had kids. I will MOVE mountains and Oceans just to see them and make the child a part of my life. I guess this must be the Asian culture in me. I be happy just to move that great wall of china just to see my baby!! That mother is a big coward!!
The continuation of the lie by her biological parents is awful. How do you teach children about lying while holding fast to your own lying secret... Messy.
Bo Kvarv youre right..but....its a normal feeling to have the need to know who you are relate to...to know youre family tree...even if you dont have good relationships to develop...
She did take responsibility she gave birth and put her in a safe place so someone could find her. She had a better life than she would if lady kept her. The lady and the man should have never had the affair, but they did. So what you think her life would have been like? Anyway doesn't matter now, can't change what is done is done. She could have aborted the baby but didn't.
R S I think of her as being lucky actually being brought up in a loving and caring family. Plenty of others, growing up with far from perfect families, would have longed for such a life. When I told my mother that I used to wonder how to go about being placed in a foster care home she said most children think that at some stage. Only thing that stopped me making official enquiries was the thought I may get into more trouble with my parents.
@@tongresa77 Ditto for my brother who got a kit from me. We "may" have older siblings or he "may" have children he never knew of. Since his wife passed away 8 years ago and they had no children by choice he isn't facing any fallout. Hope he will do the test soon!
@@Joanla1954 Or you could always take it. Think of it, you could be a hero. Perhaps some poor fatherless child is out there somewhere crying himself to sleep at night wondering, "who my daddy"?😉
I submitted my dna to ancestry and found a 52 yo nephew! And a great niece! My brother never had kids and didn’t know about him or his granddaughter. It has been 100% positive!! He has lots of cousins and aunts and uncles who have welcomed him with open arms. So glad I did ancestry!
You have to god your own sake.. some times we want things out of curiosity.. curiosity killed the cat… so some times us best to not want something so bad it kills us! I been there .. even when I had cancer my mother wouldn’t come see me! Curiosity of “what would it be like” was killing me so I forgave, it’s her conscious.. but I wouldn’t want her to suffer either. It’s best to just move on.
Her biological mother might be surprised to learn her family would want to know and accept this young woman who is a part of them. If she were a sister or niece of mine, I would want to know her.
Jen ( or is it Jane) sounds like a wonderful woman that any parent would be proud of. Her adoptive parents taught her well and must love her very much. I am sure they see her as a real gift . Thankfully , her birth mom loved her enough to birth her and take her someplace she thought her baby would be safe and get proper care.
How very sad her biological parents want no parts of her; father was "unkind" and mother says she can't be part of family, but other relatives know she is no longer the secret they never knew. The parents have lived a long time with the lie and want it to continue. Very sad indeed.
@@shirleyashanti3031 It is hard for me to understand that this young woman wants to meet the people who abandoned her. I would want no part of them and would treasure my real parents--- the people who loved me and raised me.
@@carolyngenc5329 I don't understand it either but my parents want me. My cousin still wants a relationship with her father who really doesn't care whether she was dead or alive
Shae Akso How can she forgive her bio mom for rejecting her twice? This lady need to go see the people who raised her and hug them, and tell them how grateful she is that they loved her. Her bio Mom does not love this lady. It's all about her. Same for the bio father.
As also the skeleton that fell out of the closet after I did dna testing, if I had not forgiven them, it would have continued to only hurt myself; it wouldn't have hurt anyone from my bio family at all 🙂🥺🙂
This woman is so wonderful. She is so understanding. She is so lucky to have had such great parents. They raised her properly and probably gave her a better life than she ever would have had with the biological mother who sounds very selfish. I wish this lady and her family a life of happiness. God bless her. I know He did when He gave her to her wonderful parents.
Forget these people exist. Most women are capable of having a baby. What makes a mother is the person who loves you, feeds you, comforts you when you're sick, changes you and is there when you need them. Your mother is the person who raised you. Go on with your life and do not be concerned with people who do not want to even face you.They are not worthy of your love and concern.
doesnt matter if they have regrets or emphaty,I guess its their life situation that makes them not beeing able to talk. we dont walk in their shoes so we dont know. Her biological mother did a wonderful thing giving her away so a childless couple could have a child! why should the poor biological mother now feel dirty and bad? it happened what happened. its not supposed to be fixed,its too late now.
Cam Mac The only time it is too late to fix something is when you are dead. While she is living, she should repair what she can. The mother thought nothing of infidelity, she should face the consequences of her actions. She has been with her husband for 40 yrs, a good man would forgive her. The daughter probably felt like she was something that was to be thrown away.
@@765respect why?? So what you are saying is that any woman who can't take the risk of her biological child finding her one day,should have an abortion,not give her child for adoption??? Is that what you mean? So all those childless couples that dream of adopting,should know that mothers choose abortion instead? I don't know how you think,why would the birthmother have any obligations if she gives her baby up for adoption?? Why?
Cam Mac Fix the situation before you die. Set the record straight. Don't let the gossips dictate your reputation. The age of transparency in only getting clearer. The closets are being ripped wide open and the skeletons are being fleshed to life. Who said anything about an abortion or adoption for the matter? You are reading your own guilt into my comment. That woman cowardly ran away from the physical result of an illicit affair. She should take courage and face up to her actions of the past and make amends with her own flesh and blood. Thank God we live in an age of transparency and not humiliation and shame which I'm sure the poor abandoned child feels every day of their innocent life. The mother should have thought of future obligations when she spread her legs instead of how she fooled the world, especially her husband, when she did not get caught and got away with it. Birth control was widely available back during the Viet Nam era. Shame she only thought of her prideful self. If she feels that her husband of 40+ yrs would leave, maybe that relationship was never meant to be in the first place.
@@765respect well,you and I obviously have different opinnions about this "leg spreading" subject. You might as well blame the new family for not beeing loving enough for their adopting daughter,why would she otherwise feel so desperate to find the woman who "spred her legs" as you call it,and gave birth to her? Think about it from that womans side for a second: she didn't want the baby,she had two options: kill it or give it away. She chose what she thought was a better solution,she probably would have chosen the other solution if she had had any kind of suspicion that the daughter would one day turn up on her doorstep. She chose life for her daughter,she gave her away,she has no whatsoever obligations for that child anymore!! Of course now looking back abortion had been a better solution in her case,as she obviously did NOT by any means,want to be found. I feel for that birthmother,I wish her blessings and I hope her life isn't destroyed by this birthdaughter demanding to find her. And for all other young or older women who thinks giving up your unwanted baby for adoption:be aware thet with todays technology your unwanted child can find you so think twice before you say no to abortion..There should now be some protection for these mothers,to make it illegal for the child to trace them,that is if they choose to give their child up for adoption anyway. This is my opinnion,and I have full right to disagree with you.
I have a friend that has a similar story. She was found in a basket on the police steps in a village 60 something ago. After hiring a an investigator in her 40s it was found that the biological father was a married man and the mother a teenager. My friend went to a hotel where the family of her biological mom had a function and she did present herself in a hallway. The mom begged her to leave and never contact her again because no one knew about her. Very sad. No one can comment about this because we do not know how the mother was brought up. I think she came from a Catholic family because she was French Canadian and at the time the church was making everything evil....
If you give up a child for adoption, you have done the right thing and you deserve your privacy. If you abandon a child, you have no rights. You are a heartless, soulless criminal. You have no right to demand privacy. If you decide to do the right thing later, great. If not, you deserve to be exposed for the heartless criminal you are. File a report with the police and give a media interview. That should take care of it.
@@LuLu-cf9uh Sorry to say but I think the same. Legal option yes, but all these hospital stairs and garbage bins are just criminal and so depressive to child in the future
The babies are never blamed. Lucia Santos own mother helped care for a newborn after the girl was raped, and her father refused to accept him in the house for a few months. Blaming the Catholic Church for people's choices is blame-shifting. No, God does not condone adultery or rape. And we have confession for anyone who desires to be in full communion...cause we believe in Jesus Christ Justice and Mercy.
So because of two people's irresponsibility and selfishness , this baby now an adult is still a secret 😡. They should be ashamed of themselves . I would never forgive them . I'm glad Jen was adopted to a loving couple . 😄
They ARE ashamed hence the secrecy. It's not about forgiveness, but accepting people for who they are and moving forward. This daughter was extremely fortunate that she had a wonderful childhood and loving parents, thus, her options are either to dwell in anger over total strangers or move forward with a loving family.
You need to watch some of the British "Long Lost Family episodes. Your thinking is way off. Way to "Christianized with the prejudice that goes along with it. others never forget their babies. They have a special "Bond" with them forever. I have watched every episode of LLF. It will change your mind. "What we hold in memory is ours forever." th-cam.com/video/q5GjcBohyqU/w-d-xo.html
I would very publicly make contact with everyone that is in that selfish woman's life that I am her daughter from an illicit affair. And then I would publicly announce that I want no further contact with that adultress and I would address her as such.
@@765respect amazing that you have the word "respect" in your user name. I hope you have never made a mistake in life. So bitter. She gave the baby life and did her best to be sure she was found. I think the daughter's willingness to forgive should count for more than your bitterness.
Agreed. I wouldn't be surprised if one of her mother's legitimate children, takes a DNA test just to learn about their heritage, and finds out that they have a half sibling, and ends up confronting their mom.
I have experience connecting with long lost relatives -- finding them and being found by them. In my opinion, the birth mother shouldn't be judged for how she handled a difficult situation. She kept her newborn safe, knowing the baby would almost certainly be adopted. She expected that the child would not be part of her life. Reunions should only happen when ALL parties are willing. It's best if the daughter doesn't pursue a face-to-face meeting. She is in communication with both birth parents. That's not a bad outcome.
You aren't the decider if what a bad out come is. The mom abandoning a child on a hospital step wasn't the best decision, it was a selfish decision she made so she could continue her fairytale life. One of her offsprings is eventually going to take an ancestry test and connect to the abandoned daughter and mom and dad's lues are going to be shattered.
@@le_th_ Often, an individual should decide about her own life. But a relationship is just that--a connection between two different people. It's not clear to me why one person should decide to have a relationship with another who wants no contact. I agree--the daughter likely considers the status quo to be a bad outcome.
@@vatricegeorge You're right. Who am I to say whether the outcome is good or bad. This daughter is obviously dissatisfied. She she wants contact and a birth parent does not. Whatever happens, one of them will probably consider the outcome to be a bad one.
I have a similar story, in the fact that my birth mother abandoned 4 children including myself when I was 5 yrs old. I'm 53 yrs old now and the oldest , I have a younger sister who's 51, a brother that's 50 and an other who just passed away last yr who would of been 49. My youngest brother and I was put into a foster home when I was 5 and the other 2 siblings went to a different home. Six months later we all ended up with the same Foster family. We had contact from my birth mother on several occasions until I was 10 then no more contact. My youngest brother and myself did several searches but never got close to finding her. She would be 71 this year. I really don't have any bad feelings towards her but the not knowing the circumstances why she left us in the first place. I do know she divorced my birth father and he chased her to California to try and work things out. She remarried to another man and had 2 children with him and I heard she abandoned them as well. She divorced him and got married again to another man but after that I lost track of her where abouts.
I can tell by some of the comments , forgiveness is not very popular and that's okay too. Everyone deals with abandonment issues differently , again I don't judge anyone for how they feel or deal with there issues. I'm sorry to those who can't forgive or won't and I hope they find some peace in there life.
Its sad that you mother is like that she must to have mentality illness I have a friend with the same problem she have 9 children and she gives in adoption all 9 she said that love them but she doesnt want to live with them She is my friend and I have to accept that but its sad for all of them she keep in touch with them and the adopt parents she suffer of multiple personalities
Be prepared for the woman who is your birth mom to not be so happy about you finding her. A lot of these women do NOT want to be found, especially the ones who gave birth in the 60's scoop baby era. I found this out the hard way. My birth mom was really pissed off that I found her. They have their reasons for not wanting a reunion so just do not assume that they want to find you as much as you wanted to find them. They have spent their entire lives trying to get past the event. I realize this now. It is wrong to pressure and demand answers from a human being who simply cannot deal with the trauma and just wants to move on from the experience. These women did not have the counseling and services available today that the new generations of birth moms have. Ask them one time for family info and medical info if they can provide it and if they give it to you great. If they cannot or are not willing to then back off and leave them be and try another route for your answers. My birth mom is adopted as well so there were next to no answers for me and I decided not to let the unanswered questions consume me.
I am sorry you had such a negative experience. I know many women who gave their children up for adoption. And none of them tried to forget the experience. They simply tried to move forward from the saddest moment of their lives.
ELAINE I understand & am adopted as well. I agree with your outlook fully. I did have a bit of a relationship with my birth mom after searching her out for medical purposes but it's not always the best & I keep my distance now. I agree with earlier postings that if one is fortunate enough to be adopted, those are one's true parents & deserve all the love & respect in the world! Genes play a role in some ways but it's definitely nurture over nature that is the true gift.
Totally agree with you Elaine. Nobody understands what the birth mother's circumstances were at the time and what they were going thru. It is so easy to judge when not being in that situation yourself.
This is why I hate cheaters with a passion. You don't just hurt your partner, you hurt everyone in your family and it's the product of the affair that ends up the scapegoat.
ADRIANO VIEIRA It happens a lot. My mother was raised in foster care and when she found her birth father and mother learned she was the product of an affair. It was the 1960’s her mother was white and her father was black.
The mother had an AFFAIR! Imagine how disappointed her FAMILY would be if they found out that she had had a baby with another man? It's sad! But, it would ruin her marriage! Plus, her other kids would be angry with her! And, all her relatives would be criticizing her! And, she would be labeled a "$lut".
@@adorablydeplorable7580 Yes, also...she SHOULD have had an abortion, but back then, it was only offered as a life risking deathly tricky back-alley coat-hanger abortion. She could have died getting rid of this unwanted pregnancy problem. Also, too bad back then there was stigma and shame attached to pregnancy PREVENTION.
The mother was a selfish coward. Not selfish for giving up her baby at a hospital where baby would be found safe, but selfish and cowardly to deny her adult daughter access to blood-relatives and cowardly to hide the truth from her husband after forty yars.
That was rude. All types of people can be like that. Not only white people. And im not even white. Im just saying this because you have no right to say that
it's not the color of the skin that make them sluts. It's their actions and their attitudes. They're black white, Indian, Chinese Japanese and every other nationality. Then men can also be considered the same way but called something else, like dog or gigilo. So your attitude here is not warranted for this. I've listened to a few others from black girl, and spanish girls doing the same thing
How dare the mother say such a thing!! At that point I wouldn't have further contact with her...she sounds as if she's more trouble than she's worth...
Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie..... I found my long lost father and his family....BIG DAMN MISTAKE. No wonder my mom divorced him....turned out he was one sorry asshole.
Same here, I have nothing to do with my Fathers family. trouble is my mother's is worse. I have nothing to do with either family now. Better without any family except those I choose to be family.
not really the woman has all power when deciding if she wants to have an abortion and she has all power if she's deciding to abandon the baby somewhere.
Bio-Father is a coward too. Both will answer in the Great White Throne Judgment in Eternity. God is the final judge. It may not be as lenient as these 2 bio-parents have been & continue to be on themselves. Still asking their 43 y/o bio- daughter to cover for them, ( their sin, that is). Both bio-parents show Gross selfishness!
It seems bio dad didn’t even know he’d gotten the woman pregnant, I think that bio mom knew from the beginning she wouldn’t keep the baby and saw it unnecessary to inform the man
@@dooquidis4ever She doesn't seem to say that he's said to keep it a secret directly (and all the brothers know). Though I can also see them all keeping quite too. So, yes, if he wont admit her as his daughter, even if he didn't know he still produced a baby while cheating on his wife, then i agree he deserves some blame too. I mean, he was still cheating on his wife, maybe i'm nosy but I think she deserves to know that.
Please stop bashing the mother. We don't know the whole story. It is possible her husband knows but they have agreed not to tell their children or any other family members. And what about the bio dad? Shouldn't he be held to the same accountability? But no one is bashing him, right? Sometimes people make mistakes and they want to move on with their life and put the past behind them. While disappointed, this lady should count her blessings that she ended up with a decent adoptive family and was loved and cared for.
Well said. I agree 💯! It is so true that the sperm doner usually gets off the hook without scathing commentary. There are always many judgmental people out there on social media and beyond. This baby’s outcome could have been much different. Many unwanted term babies are found dead. I feel that the mother in this case did the right thing at that time for her baby by leaving her on the steps of a hospital. Now, there are “safe” anonymous drop off locations for “unwanted” babies. I certainly am not going to judge the mother for the action she felt she needed to take. Nothing but love and blessings for this young lady!
Bless this woman's gracious loving heart. After being abandoned as a new born, and then 40 years later after finding her true biological mother..she gets abandoned and denied AGAIN! Her heart is so beautiful, as she is still wishing to actually physically see her biological mother and give her a hug! Her biological mother does not deserve forgiveness, but she forgives her anyway..truly God wanted her to be born and to thrive in a good family, just as she has. And now she will pass her goodness to her own children..because she got the best of her biological parents genetics. AND she want NOT aborted as she probably would have been in today's world. Back then even those like her biological mother had the moral courage to at least give her life, not put to death in the womb (or after birth for some babies today). I give her credit for that. She does not realize what a beautiful daughter she gave life to. Jen Chervin, you are such a beautiful person - outside and inside. One of God's greatest creations. May he give you a wonderful life..He surely Loves You!
Her mom told her that she couldn't be a part of her family .... omg how sad, it's the mother shame to bare for the affair but to still shut her out after all these years is pretty cold
There are awesome stories out there, also, so not all reactions are this way, but sadly, there are some stories out there like this. Most people are so happy to have found each other. The good news here is that Jen is an awesome woman, and at least she got some answers. Both her father is married to his same wife, and her Mother is still married to her husband that went to Vietnam. Because it was an affair they kept from their spouses is why they are acting this way. They do not want a divorce from the spouses. Both her mother and father were married to different people. It is her biological parents loss, because she sounds like a wonderful woman.
I am so glad that the sweet baby girl found her way into a loving home. Even her bio mom in her desperation was able to figure out a way to hand her over at the hospital, probably watching when the nurses picked her up.
Jon Stewart can you not mansplain? Ew 🤮 The father is also keeping this secret 40 years later and hasn’t come out to own his daughter because he likely doesn’t want to admit he’s not faithful. He’s just as gross as you.
@@emma-janeward8745 Oh get over yourself. You don't know jack about me and you apparently didn't listen to the video. I never said it was ok that he had an affair. She simply said that he was very shocked. It sounded to me like he was never told she got pregnant. If it was a brief fling he prob never heard from her again. Having an opinion isn't Manplaining, which is total feminazi nonsense used to dismiss any male opinion. Your hatred is showing.
"You can not be a part of my family"...that was a nasty thing to say to her daughter...after all that happened she should at least be nice and understanding.As much as her daughter was.
This is one strong lady. She has kept her bio parents secret and speaks w both of them-even expressing if the mother would like to meet she'd be on a plane in a minute. I can't imagine having to let a child go or the type of impact it can have on families. The best thing is the woman is getting answers and is ok w what she has been giving in terms of what the bioparents are willing to give. Not knowing the back story or family dynamics as long as the daughter is satisfied then what I think or others shouldn't matter
I'll never understand people who were abandoned wanting to search for people who abandoned them. If that happened to me, I wouldn't even think of biological sperm donors as my parents, so why would I waste my time looking for people who threw me away like a piece of trash no matter what the circumstances were. Pretty stupid to be rejected twice! I say leave well enough alone.
Because human beings are naturally selfish and many are.kinda egotistical. It is not enough to have a good relationship with your parents, apparently you need to go digging for more more more
Thanks to doing DNA testing, I found a few cousins that the rest of the family never knew about. One's father was the product of an affair and was afraid that she would be shunned by us. We welcomed her with open arms, and told her that she wasn't to blame for what her grandparents did. We also told her that we didn't blame her father either. She was so relieved after that, that she found us and that we loved her no matter what.
Wow she has to keep it a secret? The mother isn't sorry or she would step up and admit her mistake what a POS. It's almost like being left again. I would have told her off and told her secret both of them. This lady is nicer than me.
And if the birth mother's husband were to react terribly like get violent? We don't know the real situation, trhough it's a sadly snful one for the daughter
Well at least she did not inherit her mothers selfishness. she is more worried about what people will think of her than righting the wrong she did to her own child. she does not deserve this wonderful woman as her daughter.
For those of you bashing the bio mother/bio father for their reluctance to openly welcome her into their lives.......what would you rather the bio mother did back then...get an abortion? The bio mother had an affair, didnt want to lose her husband! Personally, I'm pro-choice...however I can respect a woman's right to not get an abortion and leave the baby at the hospital (again, it's HER CHOICE either way). The girl was adopted into a good home....why look for obvious disappointment and rejection? The bio father (who knew nothing about the birth)....I dont blame him either! What do you expect him to do....welcome her with open arms (which would more than likely HIGHLY UPSET his wife and possibly lead to divorce)? Get real! Same with the bio mother! She's still with her husband...doesnt want to risk losing him either! It's called BEING A HUMAN! This whole DNA thing/looking for long lost relatives/culture/etc.....it's an INVASION OF PRIVACY for those of us who dont want to be bothered with!
I'm 69 I too was abandon but at a bar as a new born a day old. Yep the owner rented rooms above her establishment. It took her sometime. To find my relatives my grandmother whom raise me and gave me the name Aurora. Yes I did meet my mom when I was 12 but my grandmother past on when I turn 16. My life was a living hell. Up to date I live a good happy life. Now enjoying life with my family ...my children .. grandchildren and great-grand children.
I accidentally found my bio dad through an Ancestry DNA test. I was curious about my ethnic background, not so much actual relatives. I basically wanted to know if there was any Native American genetics there. My adoptive Mom was 1/4 Cherokee. He passed away before we got to talk but, his brother was able to let him know about me before he went. However, my parents are the people who adopted me and raised me. My Mom and Dad have both passed away and I mourn them every day. My bio parents? I rarely think of them. Not trying to be ugly about it, it just is what it is.
Sometimes it is best to let sleeping dogs lie. I was raised by a step mother after my Dad abandoned us. I searched for my birth mother all my life and found her when I was 48 years old. I always thought life would have been different if I knew my birth mother. Well...it turned out I had the better life all the way along. All those years of feeling lonely for a mother that wasn't a nice person after all......That really fucked me up.
This is exactly the problem with the tell/don’t tell. I personally think a lot of the time, telling a child they are adopted can cause turmoil for them growing up. I think one should wait until the person is emotionally able to process it, late teens at the earliest. Teens are so emo anyway, and want to belong so desperately as it is. This is just my opinion, I know it is a hot button topic. Being an adoptive parent is difficult. If you tell, you run the risk of your child going off the rails because “they don’t belong” and they weren’t wanted (whether this is true or not). If you don’t, then “they’ve lived a lie”. It’s an impossible situation.
If my biological mother abandoned me intentionally, I seriously dont think I would search for her at all. I know I wouldn't want to meet her, or give her a hug.
Maybe there is a good reason for this desicion they made. I would be glad that I was adopted by a good family and given a chance to live. Yes, it may be wrong but it is what it is. Count your blessings.
The mother did the right thing by leaving her baby at a hospital. Thank God she was found by those nurses. So many times the outcome is not good in these situations.
l would hug the woman who abandoned me.... l would love her with all my heart...l would forgive her for her decision to adopt me... and be grateful for giving me life for not aborting me. Her mother made a mistake of having an affair... out of that mistake you were born. May God bless you all and He resolve this whole misunderstanding and bring peace to you all.
I do not understand people who put anything between & above their children. Even after this lady spent so much heart & energy to find her parents. The mother is super self-serving & has immediate traits a psychopath. Sorry if I disappoint you w/this assessment. It is my close, if not right on. Love Yourself dear! You are Special!
Julliette Dianne Leave the mom out of it. She did what she thought best. Pray for her. Don't condemn her. She might come around. This sort of revelation could be hurtful to the mother's existing family.
1972 was a very different time with different social mores....you cannot judge if you were not in her mother's shoes...I think that Jen's life is a blessing and she should move forward
If you read what was written she wasn't un married ..her husband was over seas ...if she had gone through "proper "channels he would have had to have been notified...and given consent..the husband still doesnt know...the bio mom did what she could to ensure that the child was found quickly by people who would care for her..it is easy to condemn if you haven't been in her shoes
Eliz Cringle yup. I'm sure the wife knows deep down he is a cheater anyway. Probably same thing for her mom's husband. Probably wants to keep it a secret because of how hard she's been lying and calling hubby a liar all these years. I bet their families would just say "yup. I figured something like this".
reklawj9. I was an adult in the 70s. As a matter of fact I was 23 in 1973. It was not like the 1950s. Girls got pregnant and were not burned at the stake. After the 60s anything went
I'M SORRY TO DISAGREE! I was a teenager in the 70's. I really ,really truly will never understand how she can turn her back on a child she helped to create. TO imagine the hurt that should have been a burden by the woman who left her daughter ,,but instead her only concern is herself and her husband and her other family members finding out! SHE'S HAS HAD 40 YEARS IN WHICH TO ENVISION THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION, which she must have known was coming (the discovery of DNA ) , for her husband and children they shared ,and for my long abandoned daughter, who she might have imagined would want to find parents,her roots. The 70's weren't the dark ages ,in fact our generation fancied ourselves enlightened.I think the parent of that woman is selfish ,shallow ,and vapid.It's usually the parent that is the most mature and understanding ,but sadly in this case it seems the daughter that she abandoned has learned a great deal more in her life and from my vantage point ,she certainly found the better parents.It's not the turn of the century ,and I mean that as in 1900's. WHY is the parent who dropped the child at the hospital unable to find and love and compassion for her daughter.Her only concern is herself ,and she seems totally oblivious to any FEELINGS of her long lost daughter.It's not the time period it's the PERSON!
So, her parents were adulterers, chose to make the child pay for it. Then, after 40 years, they are still making the child carry the burden of their sins. Grow the eff up! Own up to your b.s. and give this woman what little you have to offer, other than her settling for being a secret for the rest of your life because you aren't responsible enough to do the right thing!
This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I feel for the parents in these cases. They remained anonymous and let go of their parenting rights years ago for a reason. I feel for the child wanting to know their bio parents, too. But I don't think it's always good to drag people and their secrets out of the shadows. It's complicated.
Her mom had an affair that resulted in her pregnancy. To hide this, her mom abandoned her!!! SHE IS STILL A SECRET!!! 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 Why would you feel sorry for the parents?
@@Lissa11638 Her mother made some bad choices when young. But she left her baby at a safe haven. She didn't necessarily want her past to come back. This woman says she had loving adopted parents and a happy life. That's a miracle and something to settle with. She got her answers. Idt anybody should be angry with her birth mother.
Man. If unconditional love was a person. This touches me because I feel angry with how selfish her parents are. Hiding their trash behavior and abandoning this child. And abandoning her again as an adult. I’m so hurt.
Thank God she was left in a safe place. Her mother could have killed her like a lot of other monsters do. Her mother leaving her turned out to be a blessing for the parents who adopted her. And...it was a blessing for her. The worse thing is to keep a child you don't want.
A person who abandoned you never wanted you like why is that so hard to understand and why can't one simply appreciate those who were there and actually did the hard work of raising them
That woman has amazing character. That mother is a piece of crap for still not acting civilized. Repenting on her deathbed will be too late. What a wasted time
Clearly she’s an incredible person who was raised by loving and supportive parents.
She should move on with the part of her life she's always known..
It would be wonderful if the seeking child always got the emotional payoff they dreamed of in these cases.
The reality is that it doesn't always turn out that way, though.
when a parent says they dont want you in their lives is when it really hurts. ive been there and trust me it really hurts. She is a strong woman.
I may be wrong but I guess the biological mother doesn’t want to lose the respect of her family by revealing a secret of that nature. Sad.
Can't blame the bio mom. So much shame attached.
My birth mother rejected me three times! I have no words.
@@kathrynwitte3398 I am sorry, she may have many unattended traumas that do not allow her to leave the past behind. Obviously, she is not happy but that is not your fault . Hopefully one day she will reconsider for her own sake. Don’t follow her example, look for help, pray and heal. I wish you the best ❤️
@@kathrynwitte3398I feel horrible for you.😢
The family that raised her did a wonderfully job. She’s precious, and beyond well adjusted given the circumstances. Very strong lady. Wish her the very best.
Zel
Her biological mother is a COWARD!! I don't care what circumstances or what affairs, if I ever had kids. I will MOVE mountains and Oceans just to see them and make the child a part of my life. I guess this must be the Asian culture in me. I be happy just to move that great wall of china just to see my baby!! That mother is a big coward!!
Caring, loving people gave this person a chance at life. We make mistakes but a chance at life is beautiful. Glad she found her mom & is not angry.
God bless her and her family
The continuation of the lie by her biological parents is awful. How do you teach children about lying while holding fast to your own lying secret... Messy.
giving birth don't make a woman a mother
Raising and giving a child LOVE is being a mother
Bo Kvarv youre right..but....its a normal feeling to have the need to know who you are relate to...to know youre family tree...even if you dont have good relationships to develop...
Bo Kvarv that's ridiculous she knows that sex is responsibility. don't have sex unless you take the consequence as simple as that...
voici je no need to contact the bitch who threw you away.
is that the connotation or denotation? because your right and wrong respectively.
She did take responsibility she gave birth and put her in a safe place so someone could find her. She had a better life than she would if lady kept her. The lady and the man should have never had the affair, but they did. So what you think her life would have been like? Anyway doesn't matter now, can't change what is done is done. She could have aborted the baby but didn't.
I was also the product of an affair; Im so glad this lady was adopted into a good home and had a happy childhood.
R S I think of her as being lucky actually being brought up in a loving and caring family. Plenty of others, growing up with far from perfect families, would have longed for such a life. When I told my mother that I used to wonder how to go about being placed in a foster care home she said most children think that at some stage. Only thing that stopped me making official enquiries was the thought I may get into more trouble with my parents.
@@MansuZart Blessed. A good thing out of a bad event. Yes.
Don't think of yourself as a product! You are a gift!
✝️⛪🙏
@@kathleen9929 yep!
I wonder how many people break into a cold sweat anytime a relative says, hey I'm getting a DNA test.
Which would explain why you still haven't activated the ancestry kit your spouse gifted you with on Christmas. LOL 😂
@@tongresa77 Ditto for my brother who got a kit from me. We "may" have older siblings or he "may" have children he never knew of. Since his wife passed away 8 years ago and they had no children by choice he isn't facing any fallout. Hope he will do the test soon!
@@tongresa77 omg that sad
@@barbaralowe5487 It is really. I just try to add humor for some relief.
@@Joanla1954 Or you could always take it. Think of it, you could be a hero. Perhaps some poor fatherless child is out there somewhere crying himself to sleep at night wondering, "who my daddy"?😉
I submitted my dna to ancestry and found a 52 yo nephew! And a great niece! My brother never had kids and didn’t know about him or his granddaughter. It has been 100% positive!! He has lots of cousins and aunts and uncles who have welcomed him with open arms. So glad I did ancestry!
Jen, you were an adorable child and a beautiful woman. Your Mom has missed the boat here. Best wishes to you.
Um, your biological mother doesn't want a hug..go hug the woman who raised you and say thank you!
She may be thankful to both moms, the one who raised her, and the biological mom who gave her life, instead of killing her because of inconvenience.
@@AmberVibapia Abortion was still illegal in 1972 so it's not like she carried her to full term out of the goodness of her heart.
Guilty conscience?
True
@@V.E.R.O. Abortion was not illegal in 1972 .
I really can’t understand how forgiving these abandoned children are!
Me neither!
You have to god your own sake.. some times we want things out of curiosity.. curiosity killed the cat… so some times us best to not want something so bad it kills us! I been there .. even when I had cancer my mother wouldn’t come see me! Curiosity of “what would it be like” was killing me so I forgave, it’s her conscious.. but I wouldn’t want her to suffer either. It’s best to just move on.
Me neither all i know if you can't take care of a child use protection.
I'm watching this and thinking, gosh I hate her. She's too nice 😣💔
They are in denial. Just wait…
She was an adorable little girl!
So glad she had a good life.
The biological mother is not the real mother. she does not need even to determine her. The real mother raised her to be what she is now.
Sad
Her biological mother might be surprised to learn her family would want to know and accept this young woman who is a part of them. If she were a sister or niece of mine, I would want to know her.
and if you were her husband and you found out she had an affair and give birth while you were fighting a war you would be happy too?
Duh, that's not what she stated.
@@KelluyPowell-1985
Jen ( or is it Jane) sounds like a wonderful woman that any parent would be proud of. Her adoptive parents taught her well and must love her very much. I am sure they see her as a real gift . Thankfully , her birth mom loved her enough to birth her and take her someplace she thought her baby would be safe and get proper care.
How very sad her biological parents want no parts of her; father was "unkind" and mother says she can't be part of family, but other relatives know she is no longer the secret they never knew. The parents have lived a long time with the lie and want it to continue. Very sad indeed.
@@shirleyashanti3031
It is hard for me to understand that this young woman wants to meet the people who abandoned her. I would want no part of them and would treasure my real parents--- the people who loved me and raised me.
@@carolyngenc5329 I don't understand it either but my parents want me. My cousin still wants a relationship with her father who really doesn't care whether she was dead or alive
Forgiveness is a powerful thing.
Shae Akso How can she forgive her bio mom for rejecting her twice? This lady need to go see the people who raised her and hug them, and tell them how grateful she is that they loved her. Her bio Mom does not love this lady. It's all about her. Same for the bio father.
As also the skeleton that fell out of the closet after I did dna testing, if I had not forgiven them, it would have continued to only hurt myself; it wouldn't have hurt anyone from my bio family at all 🙂🥺🙂
This woman is so wonderful. She is so understanding. She is so lucky to have had such great parents. They raised her properly and probably gave her a better life than she ever would have had with the biological mother who sounds very selfish. I wish this lady and her family a life of happiness. God bless her. I know He did when He gave her to her wonderful parents.
The mom didnt deserve this woman as her daughter. The daughter's too good for the mom.
It’s incredible how rude her mother is! Dad not owning up to the affair is no better.
At least the mother didn't murder her in the womb. Give the woman a little credit, at least.
and she will rot in hell for the abandonment of the child
The mother has lied from day one , she doesn’t want to get in troubles now.
We don't need to judge she could of aborted this beautiful woman but she chose to give her life and bring joy to the couple who wanted a baby
Forget these people exist. Most women are capable of having a baby. What makes a mother is the person who loves you, feeds you, comforts you when you're sick, changes you and is there when you need them. Your mother is the person who raised you. Go on with your life and do not be concerned with people who do not want to even face you.They are not worthy of your love and concern.
Well said!!
Omg her parents are so selfish and have no empathy or regret ...
Luckily for her she found a great adopted family who raised her in a beautiful way.
doesnt matter if they have regrets or emphaty,I guess its their life situation that makes them not beeing able to talk. we dont walk in their shoes so we dont know. Her biological mother did a wonderful thing giving her away so a childless couple could have a child! why should the poor biological mother now feel dirty and bad? it happened what happened. its not supposed to be fixed,its too late now.
Cam Mac The only time it is too late to fix something is when you are dead. While she is living, she should repair what she can. The mother thought nothing of infidelity, she should face the consequences of her actions. She has been with her husband for 40 yrs, a good man would forgive her. The daughter probably felt like she was something that was to be thrown away.
@@765respect why?? So what you are saying is that any woman who can't take the risk of her biological child finding her one day,should have an abortion,not give her child for adoption??? Is that what you mean? So all those childless couples that dream of adopting,should know that mothers choose abortion instead? I don't know how you think,why would the birthmother have any obligations if she gives her baby up for adoption?? Why?
Cam Mac Fix the situation before you die. Set the record straight. Don't let the gossips dictate your reputation. The age of transparency in only getting clearer. The closets are being ripped wide open and the skeletons are being fleshed to life.
Who said anything about an abortion or adoption for the matter? You are reading your own guilt into my comment. That woman cowardly ran away from the physical result of an illicit affair. She should take courage and face up to her actions of the past and make amends with her own flesh and blood. Thank God we live in an age of transparency and not humiliation and shame which I'm sure the poor abandoned child feels every day of their innocent life. The mother should have thought of future obligations when she spread her legs instead of how she fooled the world, especially her husband, when she did not get caught and got away with it. Birth control was widely available back during the Viet Nam era. Shame she only thought of her prideful self. If she feels that her husband of 40+ yrs would leave, maybe that relationship was never meant to be in the first place.
@@765respect well,you and I obviously have different opinnions about this "leg spreading" subject. You might as well blame the new family for not beeing loving enough for their adopting daughter,why would she otherwise feel so desperate to find the woman who "spred her legs" as you call it,and gave birth to her? Think about it from that womans side for a second: she didn't want the baby,she had two options: kill it or give it away. She chose what she thought was a better solution,she probably would have chosen the other solution if she had had any kind of suspicion that the daughter would one day turn up on her doorstep. She chose life for her daughter,she gave her away,she has no whatsoever obligations for that child anymore!! Of course now looking back abortion had been a better solution in her case,as she obviously did NOT by any means,want to be found. I feel for that birthmother,I wish her blessings and I hope her life isn't destroyed by this birthdaughter demanding to find her. And for all other young or older women who thinks giving up your unwanted baby for adoption:be aware thet with todays technology your unwanted child can find you so think twice before you say no to abortion..There should now be some protection for these mothers,to make it illegal for the child to trace them,that is if they choose to give their child up for adoption anyway. This is my opinnion,and I have full right to disagree with you.
I have a friend that has a similar story. She was found in a basket on the police steps in a village 60 something ago. After hiring a an investigator in her 40s it was found that the biological father was a married man and the mother a teenager. My friend went to a hotel where the family of her biological mom had a function and she did present herself in a hallway. The mom begged her to leave and never contact her again because no one knew about her. Very sad. No one can comment about this because we do not know how the mother was brought up. I think she came from a Catholic family because she was French Canadian and at the time the church was making everything evil....
If you give up a child for adoption, you have done the right thing and you deserve your privacy. If you abandon a child, you have no rights. You are a heartless, soulless criminal. You have no right to demand privacy. If you decide to do the right thing later, great. If not, you deserve to be exposed for the heartless criminal you are. File a report with the police and give a media interview. That should take care of it.
@@LuLu-cf9uh Sorry to say but I think the same. Legal option yes, but all these hospital stairs and garbage bins are just criminal and so depressive to child in the future
The babies are never blamed.
Lucia Santos own mother helped care for a newborn after the girl was raped, and her father refused to accept him in the house for a few months.
Blaming the Catholic Church for people's choices is blame-shifting.
No, God does not condone adultery or rape. And we have confession for anyone who desires to be in full communion...cause we believe in Jesus Christ Justice and Mercy.
😭😭😭😭
@@LuLu-cf9uh I agree!
So because of two people's irresponsibility and selfishness , this baby now an adult is still a secret 😡. They should be ashamed of themselves . I would never forgive them . I'm glad Jen was adopted to a loving couple . 😄
Suki Benson t
Her mother is a cold hearted bitch
They ARE ashamed hence the secrecy. It's not about forgiveness, but accepting people for who they are and moving forward. This daughter was extremely fortunate that she had a wonderful childhood and loving parents, thus, her options are either to dwell in anger over total strangers or move forward with a loving family.
What a good heart She got
You need to watch some of the British "Long Lost Family episodes. Your thinking is way off. Way to "Christianized with the prejudice that goes along with it. others never forget their babies. They have a special "Bond" with them forever.
I have watched every episode of LLF. It will change your mind. "What we hold in memory is ours forever."
th-cam.com/video/q5GjcBohyqU/w-d-xo.html
wow.. what a mom. if i were jen i would never contact my mother ever again.
Pat Heu. Don't call her mom. Too good a name for her
I would ruin it for the mother by going to a thanksgiving dinner! XD
Pat Heu not a mom. Just an incubator.
I would very publicly make contact with everyone that is in that selfish woman's life that I am her daughter from an illicit affair.
And then I would publicly announce that I want no further contact with that adultress and I would address her as such.
@@765respect amazing that you have the word "respect" in your user name. I hope you have never made a mistake in life. So bitter. She gave the baby life and did her best to be sure she was found. I think the daughter's willingness to forgive should count for more than your bitterness.
She deserves better, the people that raised her are the family she deserves!
There’s no way that’s going to stay a secret. Her DNA’s out, and too many people know about it already.
Agreed. I wouldn't be surprised if one of her mother's legitimate children, takes a DNA test just to learn about their heritage, and finds out that they have a half sibling, and ends up confronting their mom.
They may know but don't want anything to do with her. Oh well.
GOD BLESS JEN FOR HER FORGIVING HEART!!! GOD IS ABSOLUTELY GOOD ALL THE TIME!!!
I have experience connecting with long lost relatives -- finding them and being found by them. In my opinion, the birth mother shouldn't be judged for how she handled a difficult situation. She kept her newborn safe, knowing the baby would almost certainly be adopted. She expected that the child would not be part of her life. Reunions should only happen when ALL parties are willing. It's best if the daughter doesn't pursue a face-to-face meeting. She is in communication with both birth parents. That's not a bad outcome.
You don't get to dictate what is or is not a good or bad outcome for her. SHE gets to decide that.
You aren't the decider if what a bad out come is. The mom abandoning a child on a hospital step wasn't the best decision, it was a selfish decision she made so she could continue her fairytale life. One of her offsprings is eventually going to take an ancestry test and connect to the abandoned daughter and mom and dad's lues are going to be shattered.
@@le_th_ Often, an individual should decide about her own life. But a relationship is just that--a connection between two different people. It's not clear to me why one person should decide to have a relationship with another who wants no contact. I agree--the daughter likely considers the status quo to be a bad outcome.
@@vatricegeorge You're right. Who am I to say whether the outcome is good or bad. This daughter is obviously dissatisfied. She she wants contact and a birth parent does not. Whatever happens, one of them will probably consider the outcome to be a bad one.
Their rejection is what makes it a bad outcome.
I have a similar story, in the fact that my birth mother abandoned 4 children including myself when I was 5 yrs old. I'm 53 yrs old now and the oldest , I have a younger sister who's 51, a brother that's 50 and an other who just passed away last yr who would of been 49. My youngest brother and I was put into a foster home when I was 5 and the other 2 siblings went to a different home. Six months later we all ended up with the same Foster family. We had contact from my birth mother on several occasions until I was 10 then no more contact. My youngest brother and myself did several searches but never got close to finding her. She would be 71 this year. I really don't have any bad feelings towards her but the not knowing the circumstances why she left us in the first place. I do know she divorced my birth father and he chased her to California to try and work things out.
She remarried to another man and had 2 children with him and I heard she abandoned them as well. She divorced him and got married again to another man but after that I lost track of her where abouts.
Mark Lawrence wow. I'm sorry. I hope you find more and that it isn't too painful.
mirzamay Thank You ! I'm always looking , I have no bad feelings towards anybody and I don't judge.
Mark Lawrence well you are better than most of us then. I wish you luck.
I can tell by some of the comments , forgiveness is not very popular and that's okay too. Everyone deals with abandonment issues differently , again I don't judge anyone for how they feel or deal with there issues. I'm sorry to those who can't forgive or won't and I hope they find some peace in there life.
Its sad that you mother is like that she must to have mentality illness I have a friend with the same problem she have 9 children and she gives in adoption all 9 she said that love them but she doesnt want to live with them She is my friend and I have to accept that but its sad for all of them she keep in touch with them and the adopt parents she suffer of multiple personalities
Be prepared for the woman who is your birth mom to not be so happy about you finding her. A lot of these women do NOT want to be found, especially the ones who gave birth in the 60's scoop baby era. I found this out the hard way. My birth mom was really pissed off that I found her. They have their reasons for not wanting a reunion so just do not assume that they want to find you as much as you wanted to find them. They have spent their entire lives trying to get past the event. I realize this now. It is wrong to pressure and demand answers from a human being who simply cannot deal with the trauma and just wants to move on from the experience. These women did not have the counseling and services available today that the new generations of birth moms have. Ask them one time for family info and medical info if they can provide it and if they give it to you great. If they cannot or are not willing to then back off and leave them be and try another route for your answers. My birth mom is adopted as well so there were next to no answers for me and I decided not to let the unanswered questions consume me.
I am sorry you had such a negative experience.
I know many women who gave their children up for adoption. And none of them tried to forget the experience. They simply tried to move forward from the saddest moment of their lives.
ELAINE I understand & am adopted as well. I agree with your outlook fully. I did have a bit of a relationship with my birth mom after searching her out for medical purposes but it's not always the best & I keep my distance now. I agree with earlier postings that if one is fortunate enough to be adopted, those are one's true parents & deserve all the love & respect in the world! Genes play a role in some ways but it's definitely nurture over nature that is the true gift.
Angela Weston u
Totally agree with you Elaine. Nobody understands what the birth mother's circumstances were at the time and what they were going thru. It is so easy to judge when not being in that situation yourself.
You sound like a beautiful
intelligent person.
Such an awesomely forgiving woman.
This is why I hate cheaters with a passion. You don't just hurt your partner, you hurt everyone in your family and it's the product of the affair that ends up the scapegoat.
Sad her mother's atitude even after 40 years.
ADRIANO VIEIRA
It happens a lot. My mother was raised in foster care and when she found her birth father and mother learned she was the product of an affair. It was the 1960’s her mother was white and her father was black.
The mother had an AFFAIR! Imagine how disappointed her FAMILY would be if they found out that she had had a baby with another man? It's sad! But, it would ruin her marriage! Plus, her other kids would be angry with her! And, all her relatives would be criticizing her! And, she would be labeled a "$lut".
Yeah, it’s not a perfect answer, but the mother should be able to have her privacy.
@@adorablydeplorable7580 Yes, also...she SHOULD have had an abortion, but back then, it was only offered as a life risking deathly tricky back-alley coat-hanger abortion. She could have died getting rid of this unwanted pregnancy problem. Also, too bad back then there was stigma and shame attached to pregnancy PREVENTION.
@@JLu20 You have some serious soul-searching to do if you wish this woman would have been killed before birth. I know SHE is happy to be alive.
Beautiful baby girl she was. I hope she gets her wish and meets her mother one day 🙏🏻
Her mother is still a pos and she needs to forget about that heartless bitch.
I'm glad she has answers but it's still very sad. 😘❤🙏🏻
At least she left her at a hospital
So she's a hero because of that?
@@robinsydney140 Yes at least she didn't let her die.....
The mother was a selfish coward.
Not selfish for giving up her baby at a hospital where baby would be found safe, but selfish and cowardly to deny her adult daughter access to blood-relatives and cowardly to hide the truth from her husband after forty yars.
That was rude. All types of people can be like that. Not only white people. And im not even white. Im just saying this because you have no right to say that
Forty yars
good & bad in all countries
Anane Mbaye you speak from experience huh. only you don't leave them at a hospital you leave them at the abortion clinic you pos.
it's not the color of the skin that make them sluts. It's their actions and their attitudes. They're black white, Indian, Chinese Japanese and every other nationality. Then men can also be considered the same way but called something else, like dog or gigilo. So your attitude here is not warranted for this. I've listened to a few others from black girl, and spanish girls doing the same thing
How dare the mother say such a thing!! At that point I wouldn't have further contact with her...she sounds as if she's more trouble than she's worth...
So the mother still hasn't grown to admit to herself what she did. This secret will eat at her to her grave.
Imagine what her hubby, current family have done to create SUCH FEAR in her mother..
@@csmith563 They may have not created any. The birth mother is likely creating her own fear.
The birth mom doesn't want her husband to know that while he was fighting in Vietnam, she had a baby from another man.
Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie..... I found my long lost father and his family....BIG DAMN MISTAKE. No wonder my mom divorced him....turned out he was one sorry asshole.
same except my dad is a druggie and alcoholic .,.
I'm sorry this happened to you
Same here, I have nothing to do with my Fathers family. trouble is my mother's is worse. I have nothing to do with either family now. Better without any family except those I choose to be family.
Soo grateful for the love of my mom! Her birth mother gave her up and she promised us she wouldn't put us through that...
why are you blaming the mom only? both biological parents are at fault here.
not really the woman has all power when deciding if she wants to have an abortion and she has all power if she's deciding to abandon the baby somewhere.
Bio-Father is a coward too. Both will answer in the Great White Throne Judgment in Eternity. God is the final judge. It may not be as lenient as these 2 bio-parents have been & continue to be on themselves. Still asking their 43 y/o bio- daughter to cover for them, ( their sin, that is). Both bio-parents show Gross selfishness!
It seems bio dad didn’t even know he’d gotten the woman pregnant, I think that bio mom knew from the beginning she wouldn’t keep the baby and saw it unnecessary to inform the man
Because right now that's who she is dealing with. Duh
@@dooquidis4ever She doesn't seem to say that he's said to keep it a secret directly (and all the brothers know). Though I can also see them all keeping quite too. So, yes, if he wont admit her as his daughter, even if he didn't know he still produced a baby while cheating on his wife, then i agree he deserves some blame too. I mean, he was still cheating on his wife, maybe i'm nosy but I think she deserves to know that.
Please stop bashing the mother. We don't know the whole story. It is possible her husband knows but they have agreed not to tell their children or any other family members. And what about the bio dad? Shouldn't he be held to the same accountability? But no one is bashing him, right? Sometimes people make mistakes and they want to move on with their life and put the past behind them. While disappointed, this lady should count her blessings that she ended up with a decent adoptive family and was loved and cared for.
Well said. I agree 💯! It is so true that the sperm doner usually gets off the hook without scathing commentary. There are always many judgmental people out there on social media and beyond. This baby’s outcome could have been much different. Many unwanted term babies are found dead. I feel that the mother in this case did the right thing at that time for her baby by leaving her on the steps of a hospital. Now, there are “safe” anonymous drop off locations for “unwanted” babies. I certainly am not going to judge the mother for the action she felt she needed to take. Nothing but love and blessings for this young lady!
Being a man is being on easy street. Sexism hasn't gone away it just xhanged shape
You are such a beautiful child and adult. I hope you find all the happiness in the world
Bless this woman's gracious loving heart. After being abandoned as a new born, and then 40 years later after finding her true biological mother..she gets abandoned and denied AGAIN! Her heart is so beautiful, as she is still wishing to actually physically see her biological mother and give her a hug! Her biological mother does not deserve forgiveness, but she forgives her anyway..truly God wanted her to be born and to thrive in a good family, just as she has. And now she will pass her goodness to her own children..because she got the best of her biological parents genetics. AND she want NOT aborted as she probably would have been in today's world. Back then even those like her biological mother had the moral courage to at least give her life, not put to death in the womb (or after birth for some babies today). I give her credit for that. She does not realize what a beautiful daughter she gave life to.
Jen Chervin, you are such a beautiful person - outside and inside. One of God's greatest creations. May he give you a wonderful life..He surely Loves You!
I can't imagine why she would want to meet that woman. I would personally be glad after talking to her that she is no longer her mom
Her mother and father need to take responsibility for THEIR actions! This is atrocious. Selfish people!
Yeah, especially when it has been a long time since the affair.
Yep! Insanely immature!
Her mom told her that she couldn't be a part of her family .... omg how sad, it's the mother shame to bare for the affair but to still shut her out after all these years is pretty cold
There are awesome stories out there, also, so not all reactions are this way, but sadly, there are some stories out there like this. Most people are so happy to have found each other. The good news here is that Jen is an awesome woman, and at least she got some answers. Both her father is married to his same wife, and her Mother is still married to her husband that went to Vietnam. Because it was an affair they kept from their spouses is why they are acting this way. They do not want a divorce from the spouses. Both her mother and father were married to different people. It is her biological parents loss, because she sounds like a wonderful woman.
I am so glad that the sweet baby girl found her way into a loving home. Even her bio mom in her desperation was able to figure out a way to hand her over at the hospital, probably watching when the nurses picked her up.
She gave her husband more than 40 years of her life and if he can't forgive that affair, 40 years ago, he doesn't deserve her.
As a father I can't fathom this heartlessness. What a selfish despicable 'mom' this is.
@@Christina...66 Fuck off white knighting bitch, this woman is still acting vile after 40 YEARS.
The father is also shit for not coming out and owning his daughter.
@@emma-janeward8745 Based on his reaction it sounds like he was never told about the baby.
Jon Stewart can you not mansplain? Ew 🤮 The father is also keeping this secret 40 years later and hasn’t come out to own his daughter because he likely doesn’t want to admit he’s not faithful. He’s just as gross as you.
@@emma-janeward8745 Oh get over yourself. You don't know jack about me and you apparently didn't listen to the video. I never said it was ok that he had an affair. She simply said that he was very shocked. It sounded to me like he was never told she got pregnant. If it was a brief fling he prob never heard from her again. Having an opinion isn't Manplaining, which is total feminazi nonsense used to dismiss any male opinion. Your hatred is showing.
What a beautiful person.
I’m happy that she grew up in a lovely family, that is what counts, and of course, she has the right to find out her background
Her "background" is that she wasn't wanted then and isn't wanted now. The birth parents could have at least been cordial to her.
@@shirleyashanti3031she needs to learn the truth
"You can not be a part of my family"...that was a nasty thing to say to her daughter...after all that happened she should at least be nice and understanding.As much as her daughter was.
What an amazing woman 🙌
Sad! But she was raised well by her family! God was there for her.
WOW!!! Her bio-mother should catch a plane alone to visit her abandoned daughter.
I'm in no way justifying child abandonment, but they left her at a hospital which is a responsible thing to do.
Regardless of how she was conceived, her Mother should welcome her with open arms. Its a shame how a mother would keep her child a secret...
SHEILA ALVARADO so u calling my momma stupid
the mother though also has a whole other family to think about and a husband that this news could destroy. She gave the child up for a reason.....
That's not how it works. I also haven't seen any comments barely on the father
This is one strong lady. She has kept her bio parents secret and speaks w both of them-even expressing if the mother would like to meet she'd be on a plane in a minute. I can't imagine having to let a child go or the type of impact it can have on families. The best thing is the woman is getting answers and is ok w what she has been giving in terms of what the bioparents are willing to give. Not knowing the back story or family dynamics as long as the daughter is satisfied then what I think or others shouldn't matter
I'll never understand people who were abandoned wanting to search for people who abandoned them. If that happened to me, I wouldn't even think of biological sperm donors as my parents, so why would I waste my time looking for people who threw me away like a piece of trash no matter what the circumstances were. Pretty stupid to be rejected twice! I say leave well enough alone.
Because human beings are naturally selfish and many are.kinda egotistical. It is not enough to have a good relationship with your parents, apparently you need to go digging for more more more
You are a very beautiful woman, inside and outside. Wish you all the best.
Thanks to doing DNA testing, I found a few cousins that the rest of the family never knew about. One's father was the product of an affair and was afraid that she would be shunned by us. We welcomed her with open arms, and told her that she wasn't to blame for what her grandparents did. We also told her that we didn't blame her father either. She was so relieved after that, that she found us and that we loved her no matter what.
Wow she has to keep it a secret? The mother isn't sorry or she would step up and admit her mistake what a POS. It's almost like being left again. I would have told her off and told her secret both of them. This lady is nicer than me.
And if the birth mother's husband were to react terribly like get violent? We don't know the real situation, trhough it's a sadly snful one for the daughter
Well at least she did not inherit her mothers selfishness. she is more worried about what people will think of her than righting the wrong she did to her own child. she does not deserve this wonderful woman as her daughter.
For those of you bashing the bio mother/bio father for their reluctance to openly welcome her into their lives.......what would you rather the bio mother did back then...get an abortion? The bio mother had an affair, didnt want to lose her husband! Personally, I'm pro-choice...however I can respect a woman's right to not get an abortion and leave the baby at the hospital (again, it's HER CHOICE either way). The girl was adopted into a good home....why look for obvious disappointment and rejection? The bio father (who knew nothing about the birth)....I dont blame him either! What do you expect him to do....welcome her with open arms (which would more than likely HIGHLY UPSET his wife and possibly lead to divorce)? Get real! Same with the bio mother! She's still with her husband...doesnt want to risk losing him either! It's called BEING A HUMAN!
This whole DNA thing/looking for long lost relatives/culture/etc.....it's an INVASION OF PRIVACY for those of us who dont want to be bothered with!
She was so cute, thank YAH that she was found and had a safe, loving life. YAH bless her.
I'm 69 I too was abandon but at a bar as a new born a day old. Yep the owner rented rooms above her establishment. It took her sometime. To find my relatives my grandmother whom raise me and gave me the name Aurora. Yes I did meet my mom when I was 12 but my grandmother past on when I turn 16. My life was a living hell. Up to date I live a good happy life. Now enjoying life with my family ...my children .. grandchildren and great-grand children.
I accidentally found my bio dad through an Ancestry DNA test. I was curious about my ethnic background, not so much actual relatives. I basically wanted to know if there was any Native American genetics there. My adoptive Mom was 1/4 Cherokee. He passed away before we got to talk but, his brother was able to let him know about me before he went. However, my parents are the people who adopted me and raised me. My Mom and Dad have both passed away and I mourn them every day. My bio parents? I rarely think of them. Not trying to be ugly about it, it just is what it is.
Sometimes it is best to let sleeping dogs lie. I was raised by a step mother after my Dad abandoned us. I searched for my birth mother all my life and found her when I was 48 years old. I always thought life would have been different if I knew my birth mother. Well...it turned out I had the better life all the way along. All those years of feeling lonely for a mother that wasn't a nice person after all......That really fucked me up.
This is exactly the problem with the tell/don’t tell. I personally think a lot of the time, telling a child they are adopted can cause turmoil for them growing up. I think one should wait until the person is emotionally able to process it, late teens at the earliest. Teens are so emo anyway, and want to belong so desperately as it is. This is just my opinion, I know it is a hot button topic. Being an adoptive parent is difficult. If you tell, you run the risk of your child going off the rails because “they don’t belong” and they weren’t wanted (whether this is true or not). If you don’t, then “they’ve lived a lie”. It’s an impossible situation.
Geraldine Braxton yb
I’m sure there will come a day when you will meet her and give her a hug. God bless you for being so understanding of the situation.
Heartbreak all around. What a beautiful soul that mother is missing out on knowing !
That’s crazy like if she was a mistake. From that you can tell what kind of person she is.
I wound have put the whole story on Facebook anyway. How could she treat her own daughter like that.
I know how that feels..I daydream about seeing my mother and wonder what it would feel like to be in her arms.....
If my biological mother abandoned me intentionally, I seriously dont think I would search for her at all. I know I wouldn't want to meet her, or give her a hug.
Surely all parties would be more forgiving all these years later?
To deny the extended family the right to know their sibling in my opinion is unfair.
Maybe there is a good reason for this desicion they made. I would be glad that I was adopted by a good family and given a chance to live. Yes, it may be wrong but it is what it is. Count your blessings.
The mother did the right thing by leaving her baby at a hospital. Thank God she was found by those nurses. So many times the outcome is not good in these situations.
l would hug the woman who abandoned me....
l would love her with all my heart...l would forgive her for her decision to adopt me... and be grateful for giving me life for not aborting me. Her mother made a mistake of having an affair... out of that mistake you were born.
May God bless you all and He resolve this whole misunderstanding and bring peace to you all.
I do not understand people who put anything between & above their children. Even after this lady spent so much heart & energy to find her parents. The mother is super self-serving & has immediate traits a psychopath.
Sorry if I disappoint you w/this assessment. It is my close, if not right on.
Love Yourself dear! You are Special!
Julliette Dianne Leave the mom out of it. She did what she thought best. Pray for her. Don't condemn her. She might come around. This sort of revelation could be hurtful to the mother's existing family.
Oh good grief... the word psychopath use way too readily. What about meeting the dad btw?
I would love to know your qualifications to make such assessment.
So easy to judge lmao men really do have it good. It was better than raisin g her in an unloving home.
Well just keep saying to yourself my true mother is the one who raised and loves me.Nothing good came from finding this biological mother.
Closure.
1972 was a very different time with different social mores....you cannot judge if you were not in her mother's shoes...I think that Jen's life is a blessing and she should move forward
If you read what was written she wasn't un married
..her husband was over seas ...if she had gone through "proper "channels he would have had to have been notified...and given consent..the husband still doesnt know...the bio mom did what she could to ensure that the child was found quickly by people who would care for her..it is easy to condemn if you haven't been in her shoes
I'm sure he knows by now, all these family members that's been tested, someone probably blurted out.
Eliz Cringle yup. I'm sure the wife knows deep down he is a cheater anyway. Probably same thing for her mom's husband. Probably wants to keep it a secret because of how hard she's been lying and calling hubby a liar all these years. I bet their families would just say "yup. I figured something like this".
reklawj9. I was an adult in the 70s. As a matter of fact I was 23 in 1973. It was not like the 1950s. Girls got pregnant and were not burned at the stake. After the 60s anything went
I'M SORRY TO DISAGREE! I was a teenager in the 70's. I really ,really truly will never understand how she can turn her back on a child she helped to create. TO imagine the hurt that should have been a burden by the woman who left her daughter ,,but instead her only concern is herself and her husband and her other family members finding out! SHE'S HAS HAD 40 YEARS IN WHICH TO ENVISION THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH THIS SITUATION, which she must have known was coming (the discovery of DNA ) , for her husband and children they shared ,and for my long abandoned daughter, who she might have imagined would want to find parents,her roots. The 70's weren't the dark ages ,in fact our generation fancied ourselves enlightened.I think the parent of that woman is selfish ,shallow ,and vapid.It's usually the parent that is the most mature and understanding ,but sadly in this case it seems the daughter that she abandoned has learned a great deal more in her life and from my vantage point ,she certainly found the better parents.It's not the turn of the century ,and I mean that as in 1900's. WHY is the parent who dropped the child at the hospital unable to find and love and compassion for her daughter.Her only concern is herself ,and she seems totally oblivious to any FEELINGS of her long lost daughter.It's not the time period it's the PERSON!
Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie......
So, her parents were adulterers, chose to make the child pay for it. Then, after 40 years, they are still making the child carry the burden of their sins. Grow the eff up! Own up to your b.s. and give this woman what little you have to offer, other than her settling for being a secret for the rest of your life because you aren't responsible enough to do the right thing!
This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I feel for the parents in these cases. They remained anonymous and let go of their parenting rights years ago for a reason. I feel for the child wanting to know their bio parents, too. But I don't think it's always good to drag people and their secrets out of the shadows. It's complicated.
I totally agree with you! However most of the STUPID PEOPLE on here are totally SELFISH DOUCHEBAGS who need to Grow Up!
Her mom had an affair that resulted in her pregnancy. To hide this, her mom abandoned her!!! SHE IS STILL A SECRET!!! 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
Why would you feel sorry for the parents?
@@Lissa11638 Her mother made some bad choices when young. But she left her baby at a safe haven.
She didn't necessarily want her past to come back. This woman says she had loving adopted parents and a happy life. That's a miracle and something to settle with. She got her answers. Idt anybody should be angry with her birth mother.
@@springboard1994 I just can't feel sorry for the parents!! I agree with your last comment, but feel MUCH EMPATHY for BABY JANE!
@@Lissa11638 ❤️
Baby Jane, you already went to far be happy for the life you had. God Bless the
parents that raised you.
Lots of respect for you Jane
May Almighty Allah bless you always and ever. Ameen
Love from Pakistan
Best Regards
I wonder if she ever met her biological mother & father. She seems so kind, nice upbringing by adoptive parents. Jeanne
I’m JeanneMarie66 😉
If I was dumped at birth. I woundnt want anything to do with my birth parents. They didn't want me, or they wound have kept me.
I'm sorry this happened to you.
@@karenapollicina8925 Me too
she's so pretty and kind
😥 Thankfully she did give birth to her and she was adopted by a loving family. The hurt to be kept a secret still today 😢
I am glad that she was left at a hospital, so that she would be found and helped.
I gather neither parent wants to admit to their spouse that they had an affair over 40 years ago.
maybe the two men are brothers
Man. If unconditional love was a person. This touches me because I feel angry with how selfish her parents are. Hiding their trash behavior and abandoning this child. And abandoning her again as an adult. I’m so hurt.
Thank God she was left in a safe place. Her mother could have killed her like a lot of other monsters do. Her mother leaving her turned out to be a blessing for the parents who adopted her. And...it was a blessing for her. The worse thing is to keep a child you don't want.
Omg parents tell the truth and give your child the gift she deserves!
A person who abandoned you never wanted you like why is that so hard to understand and why can't one simply appreciate those who were there and actually did the hard work of raising them
Exactly rhey always want more more more
I am also a foundling, I think some stories are better left untold.
That woman has amazing character. That mother is a piece of crap for still not acting civilized. Repenting on her deathbed will be too late. What a wasted time
please do not judge this mother harshly there must be something going on that might be a danger.
Connie Charley I thought I did but to each their own. Merry Christmas.
Connie Charley yeah the danger is that her husband and everyone else know what she did. I wonder if the husband ever knew that she cheated
Liz she probably did it again behind his back. This woman should see if moms dropped any more affair babies while hubby was away on business.
Jen is chasing a fantasy reunion. Her biological mother and father didn't want her when she was born and they don't want her now. Give it up.