Your average comment: Can we all please stop talking about the [insert aspect of the video everyone seems to like] and acknowledge how good the [insert another aspect of the video everyone likes but I think I'm smarter for noticing it] is?
to understand why squidward is the most terrifying villain in film history, we have to go back to the beginning, "part 1: the start of modern capitalism"
that "went to newcaster school but failed" intonation... I hate few things more than people trying desperately to present their pretentious pile of shit as some casual, irreverent thing (like how half of the video essayists make a deal out of having a drinking problem- omg so edgy and tortured!) -end rant
@@baranxlr I hate when those youtubers title "the best x you've never played" or "the x you've never heard of". It is just such an asshole thing to say, these youtubers act like they're the first and only ones in the world to discover something.
@@T2a585Hbomb's videos, especially the recent ones contain many vital information about exploitation that many great people do. He can't just cut back some parts bcz a small minority will be offended
- Clip from vintage media at the start of the video - Generic Lo-fi track which is just a loop - References a point made by a smaller youtuber - "As im writing this..." - Mentions other video he made
You forgot the fake modesty where they make sure to call themselves dumb even though they absolutely do not think they are, and which is only said so people can say 'Oh no you're not dumb'.
The hidden gem missing from your list is when he literally said "hidden gem." I audibly chortled at that part because it's pretentious AND it's one of the most overused terms on TH-cam. Foodies, travel vloggers, gamers, critics, collectors.. they all say it!
Those titles irk me so much. I know it's to draw in attention but oooh me so mad!!!!1 I think it must be because the author is framing themselves as having unlocked secret revelations rather than just sharing their opinions about some media that pisses me off.
@@smoppetSure, but it’s the same with thumbnails. Some of my favorite youtuber use the most obnoxiously click bait thumbnails (they even hate using them). But thats what makes money, so same with titles.
@@handleneeds3charactersormore I would say those are more "drama-tubers". Pretentious video essay tubers talk about completely irrelevant bullshit and link it to capitalism. They talk similar tho.
You've nailed the pretentious video essay aesthetic to such an impressive degree my friend thought this was a nerd writer video when I showed it to him which is infinitely funny to me.
@@SeSmokki I'm starting to have disorientation at the word "pretentious" because one person explained the term, but other person uses it far differently from the term
@@SeSmokki how could a genre of music sound pretentious? pre·ten·tious adjective: "attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed."
The pretentious video essays, TED Talks, random people on social media who try to act smart, etc. ALL use this voice. This is perfect. “We looked at the data, and…………. the subtle nuances made themselves profoundly clear.”
@@josephrusso4828Nothing wrong with the way they talk, its just that people are starting to connect it to negative emotions rather then positive I guess. Like how Hitler ruined the swastika. (At least in northern part of the world)
@@Softlol I feel like you could've used a different comparison. Y'know given that the Nazis have a bit of a worse connotation then fucking video essayists and ted talkers.
I fucking love "The nuances of peoples understandings of various concepts vary." It's such a fucking non-sentence that has the energy of something someone would say to sound smart but literally does not mean anything.
Without sounding pretentious myself, I feel like "Mr. Krabs" and "capitalism" and mentioning them in one sentence is a bit too on the nose, I kinda knew about this since I was a child what the series was trying to aim at. There has been way more outlandish and ridiculous stuff that these kinds of TH-camrs try to convince their audiences of with their questionable interpretations.
I'm getting flashbacks to lessons in meme cultures explanation of neco arc where he went from talking about anime catgirls to talking about WW2 in literally 6 seconds
@@beangobernador That's not why these channels use it, they try to get the run time up by throwing in useless words plus they think it makes them sound smart if they know five synonyms to one word.
lol where i'm from mubi is a car insurance comparing app, and yes, they do do a lot of youtuber sponsorships edit:i did not see this comment is two years old, some here are brand new
I actually never came upon a a mubi sponsored youtuber. I don't even know what it is. To be fair, I don't watch video essays that discuss movies that often.
@@burrybondz225 pretty much netflix but all movies are manually picked by hand. It's pretty cool if you like to watch weird, old and/or foreign movies that would otherwise be inacessible in high quality!
Glad I ain't the only one who think a lot of these video essay dudes are pretentious. I'm all for high brow analystical stuff but a lot of these folks behind these essays think way more highly of themselves and their views than they should.
@@kernel-pult 2h 35m of that is just recounting what happens in the mod moment by moment without any other meaningful information. Like seriously this could have been a 20 minute summary at the beginning of your "essay". If I wanted to know what happens in the mod I would just play it or watch a playthrough. Why are you wasting my time!
Before I tell you why Moe Szyslak is the most heroic The Simpsons character, let me painstakinly recount the plot of every single episode he's ever been in
And i will continue to recount his plot for the 90% of my videos and spending 10% finally explaining Moe Szyslak is the most heroic of the simpsons character
"We need to start at the roots of the American Revolution, the rise of modern capitalism, and how this system has caused us to turn to superficial pleasures such as alcohol in order to counter our constant displeasure and disillusionment with modern society"
Okay but I actually hate that; you are adding nothing! Yeah I watched the show myself; I don't need the entire thing repeated to me, I am not stupid. Just get a move on and talk about your thoughts instead of reading the script of an episode word for word.
@@droopy_eyes honestly, I just like video essays that know their pointless. Like I remember watching a super long essay about lab rats, and it was great
Really? I get why you might not like thay content format or even some of the people who make it, but 99% of video essays on youtube all build up to a greater point by the end. In otherwords, they talk alot in order build up to something that cannot be explain simply or easily.
I love the over-analysis of a random mean youtube comment which the youtuber will 100% use as an excuse for why everyone who disagrees with them is wrong 😭💀
@@valhatan3907 Try to search something like "why stuff actually evil" or some shit like that. usually they talk about popular media like cartoon or video games
i'll never forget when i was watching a video essay about some random romance show, and the essayist went onto a 20 minutes tangent about some old movie from the 1920's. They weren't relating it to the show at all; it was insane
Let’s not forget the overblown, attention-seeking title of the essay that tries to elevate the importance of the essay to that a phd thesis or academic dissertation, but then sounds utterly stupid after a moment’s thought, such as: Analyzing SpongeBob’s Lessons on Third World Poverty Crash Bandicoot is Colonial Propaganda and You Fell for It Or the 10,000,000th iteration of: This Anime Depictions a Happier Way of Life We Once Had and The Government Won’t Let Us Return to
this pretentious video essay speech cadence has become like the slam poetry cadence in the 2010s: I can’t even absorb the information because I’m so irrationally annoyed by how the person is delivering it.
Shoutouts to the people who actually put "Video Essay" in the title of their video, thus warping what were once fun, nerdy, deep dives into a pretentious homework assignment in a vain attempt to look "intellectual".
"In this video, I'm going to use stock footage and music to appear professional and reputable, but in reality I have no idea what I'm talking about. For that matter, I lack basic video skills. My own cinematography is remarkably shit, my microphone is unbalanced, and my script is dull. Furthermore, I have no comprehension of video editing and most of the cuts are incredibly jarring. Overall, the video is incredibly poorly researched and remarkably shit and I will continue to make them because I like money. Speaking of which, this video is sponsored by Brillia-"
ironically for how much some video essayists like to act as though they know about movies/film if they were to make one themselves it would probably be terrible
@@bucket4202With how widespread critics are nowadays, and a general consensus on the decline of the mainstream film industry, that’s probably why they’re so motivated to overly critique “bad” films. There’s not much around them that’s telling them it’s okay to like it.
@@mrosskne Yes, but a professional critic should know _why_ something is bad and/or good. I think this is where most critiques fail. [See drivel about the artist being woke and trying to spread propaganda or some nonce instead of realising the artist just sucks at their job.]
"Now radios have been around for a long time, but knowledge has been around even longer, and you know what helps people gain knowledge? That's right, Skillshare, the sponsor of todays video."
The thing I hate the most about video essays is the unbearable trend of naming it “why x movie is an underrated masterpiece” and instead of *actually* talking about *why* it’s underrated and a masterpiece, 20% of the video is some shitty sponsorship, and 78% is just explaining the movie, and the last 10 seconds tell you it’s a masterpiece because they made him shit his pants or something.
@@Boulderpuncher98He's a raimi fan, not a Spider-Man fan. If he knew the actual source material then he would realise just how much they deviate from it, all the Spidey movies do. But hitop acts like raimi is the guy that created the character and compares all other Spidey media to those films instead of the actual source material itself. He's a condescending, pretentious prick who knows nothing about what he talks about. There's nothing wrong with being a fan and admiring someone's work, but to act like it's the be all end all and forgo all other interpretations just because of his nostalgia bias shows he has no credibility in the slightest. Case in point, he said batman 89 was a bad batman movie and that batman forever was a misunderstood masterpiece. Yeah the bad batman film that literally helped make the character be taken seriously in the eyes of the general public and helped inspire the seminal animated series , batman beyond and Arkham games. Yeah, hitop is just a raimitard who never picked up a comic book on his life and just like Spider-Man 3 will always be a joke.
The "how toy story 4 ruined everything" guy Is amazing, although His videos are long (still a blast to watch, but not a channel where you can see Many videos in one sitting)
I'm a sucker for some video essays but i have to admit this is hilarious and kind of true. They often do go onto random irrelevant stuff for no reason.
@@brrttaa yeah, today it seems like most people think that effective language is when you spend 20 minutes beating around the bush with useless trivia and useless synonyms looked up in the dictionary to sound well-informed, when in reality it's more about just driving the point home and getting to the point lol
I remember back in the day I criticized Mauler a lot and people didn't understand what I was saying. I said that, "As a person who struggles with brevity, brevity is king and Mauler has no idea how to be brief". I got a lot of smack talk for it but I meant what I said, because no matter how bad The Last Jedi was, it shouldn't take FIVE TIMES THE MOVIE'S RUN TIME IN ORDER TO EXPLAIN WHY. People call that rant "legendary", I call it a "complete waste of time". I mean really, on what planet should it ever take more than a few minutes to say "The script is bad", show a few examples and then move on to the next issue with the film as opposed to just... Covering the movie, piece by piece, constantly stopping and saying the same things... It is in such a loose, disorganized, drawn out fashion that the viewer basically has to take notes or do a supercut of it just to get the substance out of it. It's a rough draft that goes on for 10 times longer than it needs to. If you couldn't explain what was wrong in that film within an hour, you failed the task and you have simply created a piece of media JUST AS FLAWED as the target of your criticism.
Then there will be some random comment saying, “ if I had a penny everytime [insert here] happened, I’d have 2 pennies which isn’t alot but it’s still strange that it’s happened twice”.
meanwhile, hbomber: > talks about a game everyone kinda forgot about > it was rated "pretty good" in its time > 2 hours later > "don't you dare think I forgot that capitalism is bad" > 1 more hour just for good measure > "yeah its alright" and then me, who watched that entire thing, like, 5 times.
0:18 honestly that intro is way funnier when you realize that quote was about theatrical drama, not actual drama so it really does make even less sense
Not accurate, doesn't have an awkwardly forced joke every 3 seconds and flashy graphics in 9 different colors to keep the goldfish brains engaged. Any video essay TH-camr who can't gain their composure and stop with that nonsense within the first 10 seconds instantly loses me.
I like video essays. They’re a very comfy form of media and can definitely provoke thought if written well. But the ones where the creator is just speaking as a human are the best ones.
christ that comment shoutout scared me for a second man great video tho, I completely understood all of it! cinema really is a macabre facsimile of yestertime.
@@keegster7167 I actually like some of them. Mostly from creators like Pyrocynical, who are actually mostly focused on talking about "why" and "what" they like/dislike about a game/movie, rather than pretending they are better than others for doing so.
Or alternatively, if the creator is still too small to get a sponsorship, there is a dedicated part in the video that tells the viewers that there is no sponsorship.
A link in the comments for some obvious spam for drain unblocker or whatever the youtube person is trying earn $5 per 10000 from that I report as spam everytime I see it. It's like earning this $5 per year is more important to the 'creator' than even making a decent video.
Inaccurate. You forgot the obligatory shot of a vhs tape being put into a player.
followed by many shots with a film or videotape texture
MauLer. Literally MauLer. Precisely MauLer.
Lots of screen tearing too to show that he likes "old" films
Part 1: God is dead
@@idontknow20404 (and we killed him)
Why *insert most popular thing in genre* is an underrated masterpiece
New Vegas moment
"Why Rick and Morty is the voice of our generation."
Dork Souls reference 😳
people with Witcher 3
40k imperial guard fanboys be like:
The pointless Starbucks to cup graphic was so funny.
That seemed like the most elaborate part of the video, assuming it was their own original animation.
0:20 timestamp
Gives me the vibe of the 3D spinning rat meme, or that spinning 3D frog in jojo part 6 lmao
Tbh that looked really cool
I cannot stand when these video essays are so overproduced, it’s like jingling keys in front of a toddler.
I liked how it showed the different perspectives he was talking about but the Starbucks inclusion made no sense and the 3d looks slightly odd
"The best TV show you've never seen" and the thumbnail is the main character with a black bar over his eyes
exactly
far too true
Pyro
Great video tho@@glovemiester
@@glovemiester i just unsubbed from pyrolive its literally just bullshit content
Your average comment: Can we all please stop talking about the [insert aspect of the video everyone seems to like] and acknowledge how good the [insert another aspect of the video everyone likes but I think I'm smarter for noticing it] is?
Most people don't even care about [aspect in question, I am also smart and I"m in the minority]
They think they're smart for stating the obvious: attention-seeking at its finest.
Dude, you're onto something...
Did anyone else notice [extremely obvious impossible to miss thing] tho?
Real af
to understand why squidward is the most terrifying villain in film history, we have to go back to the beginning, "part 1: the start of modern capitalism"
before I tell you why Squitwart is the greatest villian in cinema, I must first explain what makes a great villian
But first, a word from our sponsor Skillshare.
“We need to go back to Ancient Greece to understand the nuances of Squidward’s philosophy”
Ok I could totally see someone doing that
this is literally a Man Carrying Thing skit lol
There's something about the intonation here that is just 100% accurate.
haha yes
that "went to newcaster school but failed" intonation...
I hate few things more than people trying desperately to present their pretentious pile of shit as some casual, irreverent thing (like how half of the video essayists make a deal out of having a drinking problem- omg so edgy and tortured!)
-end rant
It has a half nasally half sibilant sound
I cannot stand how people talk like that in videos. Like they are trying to place emphasis or build “suspense” or something, idk it just grates.
they're all just trying to copy Tony Zhou and failing miserably
the only thing missing is the absurdly long runtime
"The best game you've never played: Learning with Gary the Gorilla (ages 3+)" [2:45:03]
And the grammatical errors.
HBomberguy
@@baranxlr I hate when those youtubers title "the best x you've never played" or "the x you've never heard of". It is just such an asshole thing to say, these youtubers act like they're the first and only ones in the world to discover something.
@@T2a585Hbomb's videos, especially the recent ones contain many vital information about exploitation that many great people do. He can't just cut back some parts bcz a small minority will be offended
- Clip from vintage media at the start of the video
- Generic Lo-fi track which is just a loop
- References a point made by a smaller youtuber
- "As im writing this..."
- Mentions other video he made
You forgot the fake modesty where they make sure to call themselves dumb even though they absolutely do not think they are, and which is only said so people can say 'Oh no you're not dumb'.
The hidden gem missing from your list is when he literally said "hidden gem." I audibly chortled at that part because it's pretentious AND it's one of the most overused terms on TH-cam. Foodies, travel vloggers, gamers, critics, collectors.. they all say it!
And the fake pretentious voice were they make their voice sound deeper because they think it makes their point sound better.
me writing an essay in school and trying to inflate the word count:
Wow thats really relatable
Not me writing an essay in school and somehow putting more words than the minimum requested:
(I'm real, I guess I'm just too good at making essays)
@@luis-sophus-8227L pfp
“wrong and false”
I felt that one
"Why X broke me"
"Why X will break you"
"How X revolutionized Y"
"How I learned to love X"
Math be like
"X is a masterpiece and here is why"
Those titles irk me so much. I know it's to draw in attention but oooh me so mad!!!!1 I think it must be because the author is framing themselves as having unlocked secret revelations rather than just sharing their opinions about some media that pisses me off.
"X is BROKEN"
Could be literally anything. "Why the Indo-Chinese ceramics industry is BROKEN..."
@@smoppetSure, but it’s the same with thumbnails. Some of my favorite youtuber use the most obnoxiously click bait thumbnails (they even hate using them). But thats what makes money, so same with titles.
The satire in this video is so seamless that once I was done watching it, TH-cam recommended me some actual pretentious video essays
Any Internet Anarchist/Turdkey Tom/Moon/SunnyV2 or Chud Tran videos?
@@handleneeds3charactersormore I would say those are more "drama-tubers". Pretentious video essay tubers talk about completely irrelevant bullshit and link it to capitalism. They talk similar tho.
@@itsLantik I mean, a system on which almost everything in our lives relies would probably have *an* effect on at least almost everything.
@@mr.cauliflower3536 and if it doesn't work for you it's clear that you would go against it
Why are so many of those pretentious writers also commies?
You used " you see" ten times in 2 minutes. That's a great video essayist right there.
Finally, someone who talks the way that I write dialogue!
Dhar Mann:
The video title should've been all lowercase with a period at the end
why [insert most beloved thing ever] is an underrated masterpiece.
"Here's why spongebob is the greatest film protagonist of all time ."
Part 1: The golden age of piracy
Part 2: a basic summary of the show adding nothing new
@user927-w3h Part 3: complaining about how long it took to find the number of hairs on SpongeBob
@@NotFunctional-ever Part 4: reflection on how we as a species may never know this number
[insert footage of a forest filmed with analog camera]
@@SuperXzm Part 5: The Manhattan Project
@@RiddlerHenchman69 Part 6: The entire history of cinema and animation
You've nailed the pretentious video essay aesthetic to such an impressive degree my friend thought this was a nerd writer video when I showed it to him which is infinitely funny to me.
What's nice is nerdwriter had an epiphany recently and realized he was being a bit pretentious about writing
Why would you say Nerdwriter is pretentious?
@@peblezQ did he make a 15 minute video essay about it?
@@jblangcua2726 Because it's the truth
@@EndOfSmallSanctuary97 can you elaborate?
Oh my god, the stupid lo-fi music in the background is 100% accurate
But lo-fi music is good, tho ...
(Even though I never listen to it often, but I'm here for justice)
@@valhatan3907 eh, sometimes lo-fi can sound a little pretentious, not personally a fan of the community for the same reason
@@SeSmokki I'm starting to have disorientation at the word "pretentious" because one person explained the term, but other person uses it far differently from the term
@@valhatan3907 in internet slang we call pretentious whatever we dont like
@@SeSmokki how could a genre of music sound pretentious? pre·ten·tious
adjective: "attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etc., than is actually possessed."
The pretentious video essays, TED Talks, random people on social media who try to act smart, etc. ALL use this voice. This is perfect. “We looked at the data, and…………. the subtle nuances made themselves profoundly clear.”
I mean, ted talks is kind of interesting but yeah, I agree.
@@josephrusso4828Nothing wrong with the way they talk, its just that people are starting to connect it to negative emotions rather then positive I guess.
Like how Hitler ruined the swastika. (At least in northern part of the world)
@@Softlol I feel like you could've used a different comparison. Y'know given that the Nazis have a bit of a worse connotation then fucking video essayists and ted talkers.
@@segala7853 I agree
@@Softlol Hitler actually made the swastika hot
I fucking love "The nuances of peoples understandings of various concepts vary." It's such a fucking non-sentence that has the energy of something someone would say to sound smart but literally does not mean anything.
It's literally the audio equivalent of purposely adding adjectives to a sentence in order to meet the word count on an actual written/typed essay
"People have opinions" wow fucking shocker dude, so deep
Jcole once said “Christ went to heaven at age 33 And so did Pimp C and so did Nipsey” The less you think about it the deeper it is.
@@kylelaforest9919 Hell, the 1st stand-up comedian beat them to it at age 31.
Reminds me of a politician's response to an uncomfortable question
The new trend now is to ask a question in the title: "was The Flash a good film?" and the answer right there in the thumbnail in caps: "IT WAS BAD"
Yeah; just finish the title in your actual title...
i dont think its a bad trend
That one isn't that bad. 8 out of 10 times you're gonna watch a funny rant instead
The pretentious male vocal fry is just 👌
women do it too ( some asian and black women videos i watched )
@@musashi542 our sage and oracle has spoken, give this man a medal 😂😂😂
With the Millennial lisp. 👏
@@musashi542 What does that have to do with the video
@Mythriel it’s funny
The "You see" followed by a shitty transition sums this up so well.
darr mhan be like:
Brought to you by squarespace
LOLLL yes
every single time
It is my dream to create a comically long video essay about the dumbest thing ever for no reason at all
history of doors
chapter one, the big bang
"Why space jam is a critique of Capitalism"
"Why this thing I know nothing about is the best and worst thing ever."
“ how calliou indirectly caused the 2007 economic recession “
"how peter griffin from family guy caused 9/11"
To understand why Mr.Krabs is so greedy and greatly written, we need to go back to where it all started.
Chapter 1: Post modern capitalisim:
true
Without sounding pretentious myself, I feel like "Mr. Krabs" and "capitalism" and mentioning them in one sentence is a bit too on the nose, I kinda knew about this since I was a child what the series was trying to aim at. There has been way more outlandish and ridiculous stuff that these kinds of TH-camrs try to convince their audiences of with their questionable interpretations.
Not enough dramatic pauses
and sighs! Don't forget the sighs!
And dramatic transitions
Resays title of video + dramatic pause = crazy deep omg
And also the dramatic pauses have an echoed sound effect of something falling in the distance
and dramatic thud sound effects paired with white text that says "Part I: Awakening" on a black screen or some stuff like that
1:38 the way you say “wrong… and false” is so spot on, what perfect satire!
bro was just scowering for a word to put 2 crosses on that random kid's comment 💀💀💀💀
@@no-one-1 Scouring*
You forgot the thumbnail being someone's face with words over the eyes
THIS Nintendo character isn't who you think
Or cartoon characters screaming with some fucking buzzword plastered over them
FRAUD
Purocynucal
SunnyV2 or any other of the xcombag clones would be deeply offended and would make a drama essay on how they're being attacked
Before we understand the hidden genius of Mario's character design we have to go back. Back to when the first human set a foot on land
I'm getting flashbacks to lessons in meme cultures explanation of neco arc where he went from talking about anime catgirls to talking about WW2 in literally 6 seconds
then they hit you with a "erm, wait a minute.. not that far back! 😂😂😂😂😂"
Humans have always been land dwelling.
lol not far back enough.
Anyone else feel that the "pretentious video essay" of the 2010's was a direct reaction to the "angry nerd rant" of the 00's?
Yup, except that sometimes the angry nerd rant of the 00s was actually edgy
@@mtoffo2275 Today we substitute "edginess" with "hot takes".
@@JohnBradford14 Based
@@JohnBradford14 hot takes that most of the time aren't even hot takes
Be careful saying it like that, someone might just make a pretentious video essay about it
The use of unnecessary synonyms is SO accurate, haha! Great vid :)
actually I think people say the same thing in different ways because it gets the idea (the feeling, the emotion) across better
@@beangobernador well of course, however sometimes it just comes off as pretentious. language is a fine balance is what i'm getting at here
@@beangobernador the same idea, the same concept, the same notion. Poetry in motion.
Excuse me, I postulate that you meant "apposite".
@@beangobernador That's not why these channels use it, they try to get the run time up by throwing in useless words plus they think it makes them sound smart if they know five synonyms to one word.
you forgot "this video is sponsored by mubi. mubi is a curated film streaming service..."
lol where i'm from mubi is a car insurance comparing app, and yes, they do do a lot of youtuber sponsorships
edit:i did not see this comment is two years old, some here are brand new
I actually never came upon a a mubi sponsored youtuber. I don't even know what it is. To be fair, I don't watch video essays that discuss movies that often.
@@burrybondz225 pretty much netflix but all movies are manually picked by hand. It's pretty cool if you like to watch weird, old and/or foreign movies that would otherwise be inacessible in high quality!
That actually annoys me
leave thomas flight alone
Filmbros ripping their hair out when Hitler says why he hates the Jews (Show, Don’t Tell)
The best comment on youtube
For all the “actions speak louder than words” speeches they sure do love to hear themselves talk 💀
filmbros are the fucking worst, literally the definition of "those who can't do, teach"
@MioAkiyama but did he?
xD
Glad I ain't the only one who think a lot of these video essay dudes are pretentious. I'm all for high brow analystical stuff but a lot of these folks behind these essays think way more highly of themselves and their views than they should.
"The most existential disturbing rug rats mod for doom 2 that you will never play a retrospective"
>2hr 45 minute run time
@@kernel-pult 2h 35m of that is just recounting what happens in the mod moment by moment without any other meaningful information.
Like seriously this could have been a 20 minute summary at the beginning of your "essay".
If I wanted to know what happens in the mod I would just play it or watch a playthrough. Why are you wasting my time!
I don't think you understand how hard I laughed at this 😭
Pyrocynical
Before I tell you why Moe Szyslak is the most heroic The Simpsons character, let me painstakinly recount the plot of every single episode he's ever been in
not enough, you should go back to the turn of the PREVIOUS century and use a lot of black & white footaeg or it's not essay enough
And i will continue to recount his plot for the 90% of my videos and spending 10% finally explaining Moe Szyslak is the most heroic of the simpsons character
if its an hbomberguy video he will go off on 100 tangents and answer the title barely in about 10 seconds at the end.
"We need to start at the roots of the American Revolution, the rise of modern capitalism, and how this system has caused us to turn to superficial pleasures such as alcohol in order to counter our constant displeasure and disillusionment with modern society"
Okay but I actually hate that; you are adding nothing! Yeah I watched the show myself; I don't need the entire thing repeated to me, I am not stupid. Just get a move on and talk about your thoughts instead of reading the script of an episode word for word.
I know this video's a parody, but it still made me feel like I was wasting my time on something worthless.
In other words you nailed it.
Lol
@@droopy_eyes honestly, I just like video essays that know their pointless. Like I remember watching a super long essay about lab rats, and it was great
@@darkithnamgedrf9495lab rats and its related matters are really important, it's not pointless
hahahaha , right.. i was perplexed! "wtf did i just watch?!" ... ohhh , that was the point
@@droopy_eyesisn't this that one Bobbybrocolli video lmao?
My feelings on Video essays can be summed up by one Talking Heads line
"You're talking a lot, But you're not saying much"
*anything.
When I have nothing to say? My lips are sealed. Say something once? Why say it again?
Love that song ❤️
funny thing is, those video essayists probably love Talking Heads.
Really? I get why you might not like thay content format or even some of the people who make it, but 99% of video essays on youtube all build up to a greater point by the end. In otherwords, they talk alot in order build up to something that cannot be explain simply or easily.
"Your talk says that you love to imply how bad you are at making believable essays"
Being this is my biggest fear
Bruh no way its dont starve and bloons guy
Omg its dont bloon eets starve youtube dude
that vocal fry is on point
chapter 1 god is dead
chapter 2 why you have to delete social media
chapter 3 the conspiracy behind no nut nobember
chapter 4 we live in a society
Chapter 5 The depressing philosophy of Spongbob Squarepants
@@jme1mm chapter 6: the ideas behind the philosophy of Plato
Chapter 6: Why do you exist?
Chapter 7: The paradoxical nature of the paradoxicality of society
Innacurate, there are no useless tape recorder sfx.
Big facts I'm so g'damn tired of that trope
they giving it the 1970's vibe while talking about something that happened in 2017
+ Chopin's Clair de Lune
I love the over-analysis of a random mean youtube comment which the youtuber will 100% use as an excuse for why everyone who disagrees with them is wrong 😭💀
Or when they use a tweet with like 3 retweets to “prove“ what the majority thinks, and then use that as an argument
@Please help me! Sunny fucking v2
What videos you guys are watched? Why I never got any of it? Where I can find it?
@@valhatan3907 Try to search something like "why stuff actually evil" or some shit like that. usually they talk about popular media like cartoon or video games
@@Gidkog man thats like Vice news or Buzzfeed haha
This is just missing a “the problem with” title and then it would be 100% accurate
i'll never forget when i was watching a video essay about some random romance show, and the essayist went onto a 20 minutes tangent about some old movie from the 1920's. They weren't relating it to the show at all; it was insane
The only part missing is when you preface a quote with "I believe it was ____ who said" when you know damn well who said it
He knows. But does he believe?
"oh, I believe!" - Mario Mario @@SuperXzm
@@SuperXzm perchance.
You can't just say perchance .@itiso1123
Let’s not forget the overblown, attention-seeking title of the essay that tries to elevate the importance of the essay to that a phd thesis or academic dissertation, but then sounds utterly stupid after a moment’s thought, such as:
Analyzing SpongeBob’s Lessons on Third World Poverty
Crash Bandicoot is Colonial Propaganda and You Fell for It
Or the 10,000,000th iteration of: This Anime Depictions a Happier Way of Life We Once Had and The Government Won’t Let Us Return to
"how peoples understanding of various concepts can. . .vary" lmfaoo
"Why *insert recently released animated movie* is the best movie of all time"
no, no, it's worse when they're talking about an old obscure movie like star trek
Proceeds to never mention the movie ever again afterwards
@@alexanderackerman3807 they mention it like in the last minute.
(the video lenght is 3 hours)
@@specificocean4176 I was more referring to despite the fact that it's "the best movie of all time " they never mention the movie in any future videos
The pre-baked/stock editing style, and the strange way to speak, stretching the words at the end for no reason is just so on point
You truly are [googles synonyms for expert] a cognoscenti on this topic.
this pretentious video essay speech cadence has become like the slam poetry cadence in the 2010s: I can’t even absorb the information because I’m so irrationally annoyed by how the person is delivering it.
this is kinda like me with hip-singing
This. Even if it's a topic I'm interested in, if your cadence is this pseudo-intellectual weirdness, I physically can't watch it.
But to understand why, first we need to talk about a concept called ludonarrative dissonance
It ain’t irrational annoyance
@@omgitshim That sentence activated my fight or flight response
"The idea of those things" Lmao
Shoutouts to the people who actually put "Video Essay" in the title of their video, thus warping what were once fun, nerdy, deep dives into a pretentious homework assignment in a vain attempt to look "intellectual".
Bit nasal, the "I'm afraid my voice isn't sexy" raspyness, kinda weird intonations. 10/10 video essay voice.
The amount of editing that went into this to parody pretentious video essays seamlessly is impressive
"In this video, I'm going to use stock footage and music to appear professional and reputable, but in reality I have no idea what I'm talking about. For that matter, I lack basic video skills. My own cinematography is remarkably shit, my microphone is unbalanced, and my script is dull. Furthermore, I have no comprehension of video editing and most of the cuts are incredibly jarring. Overall, the video is incredibly poorly researched and remarkably shit and I will continue to make them because I like money. Speaking of which, this video is sponsored by Brillia-"
ironically for how much some video essayists like to act as though they know about movies/film if they were to make one themselves it would probably be terrible
@@bucket4202 you just described most critics of anything in a nutshell
@@bucket4202With how widespread critics are nowadays, and a general consensus on the decline of the mainstream film industry, that’s probably why they’re so motivated to overly critique “bad” films. There’s not much around them that’s telling them it’s okay to like it.
@@bucket4202Critique is a separate skill set. You need not be a professional chef to understand when something tastes like shit.
@@mrosskne Yes, but a professional critic should know _why_ something is bad and/or good. I think this is where most critiques fail.
[See drivel about the artist being woke and trying to spread propaganda or some nonce instead of realising the artist just sucks at their job.]
"X ways Y tried to warn you"
1:11 This aged well.
I liked you before you were mainstream
(I have never heard of you in my entire life.)
the moment I heard him say it I immediately thought of you lol.
I love video essays, but what I like even more are parodies of video essays
to understand why amogus is dying, we have to go to the start.
*Chapter 1: The Invention of the Radio*
"Now radios have been around for a long time, but knowledge has been around even longer, and you know what helps people gain knowledge? That's right, Skillshare, the sponsor of todays video."
**Chapter 2: Video Killed the Radio Star**
That was the classiest "fuck you" i've ever heard. I ain't even mad.
This absolutely nails it
They manage to turn good topics into generic lo-fi style monologues with no substance or meaningful insight.
I love the vocal fry. So self indulgent, stretching words out like that and just going deep fry on those vocal chords.
The thing I hate the most about video essays is the unbearable trend of naming it “why x movie is an underrated masterpiece” and instead of *actually* talking about *why* it’s underrated and a masterpiece, 20% of the video is some shitty sponsorship, and 78% is just explaining the movie, and the last 10 seconds tell you it’s a masterpiece because they made him shit his pants or something.
This is literally what HiTop films sounds like.
Nah hitop films sounds more like an upset entitled teenager who was Just grounded
honestly hes a bit much
There's another funny video were someone parodied HiTop specifically and his weird obsession with Spider-Man
@@Boulderpuncher98He's a raimi fan, not a Spider-Man fan. If he knew the actual source material then he would realise just how much they deviate from it, all the Spidey movies do. But hitop acts like raimi is the guy that created the character and compares all other Spidey media to those films instead of the actual source material itself. He's a condescending, pretentious prick who knows nothing about what he talks about. There's nothing wrong with being a fan and admiring someone's work, but to act like it's the be all end all and forgo all other interpretations just because of his nostalgia bias shows he has no credibility in the slightest. Case in point, he said batman 89 was a bad batman movie and that batman forever was a misunderstood masterpiece. Yeah the bad batman film that literally helped make the character be taken seriously in the eyes of the general public and helped inspire the seminal animated series , batman beyond and Arkham games. Yeah, hitop is just a raimitard who never picked up a comic book on his life and just like Spider-Man 3 will always be a joke.
the best video essays are the low budget ones with stitched together clips from across the internet, but the narrators are usually incredible
True
Yup. Once the youtuber becomes famous and feels the need to replicate his early success he becomes derivative
Jacob Gellar is a beast and always has been
The "how toy story 4 ruined everything" guy Is amazing, although His videos are long (still a blast to watch, but not a channel where you can see Many videos in one sitting)
@@mtoffo2275”Uh, I only like obscure TH-camrs who have less than 10,000 subscribers. Those big ones are all fakes anyway, uh.”
I'm a sucker for some video essays but i have to admit this is hilarious and kind of true. They often do go onto random irrelevant stuff for no reason.
Or spend 20 minute speaking without it adding anything to their point 😂
Oh, there's a reason; to get the video to 10 minutes long.
@@ltb1345 The closer the video is to exactly 8-10 minutes long, the higher the impact of the ad threshold on the script (mathematically speaking).
@@brrttaa yeah, today it seems like most people think that effective language is when you spend 20 minutes beating around the bush with useless trivia and useless synonyms looked up in the dictionary to sound well-informed, when in reality it's more about just driving the point home and getting to the point lol
The reason is to get sponsors and advertising.
Why Teletubbies is actually darker than you think, lol. Someone please make a video essay on that.
I remember back in the day I criticized Mauler a lot and people didn't understand what I was saying.
I said that, "As a person who struggles with brevity, brevity is king and Mauler has no idea how to be brief".
I got a lot of smack talk for it but I meant what I said, because no matter how bad The Last Jedi was, it shouldn't take FIVE TIMES THE MOVIE'S RUN TIME IN ORDER TO EXPLAIN WHY. People call that rant "legendary", I call it a "complete waste of time". I mean really, on what planet should it ever take more than a few minutes to say "The script is bad", show a few examples and then move on to the next issue with the film as opposed to just... Covering the movie, piece by piece, constantly stopping and saying the same things... It is in such a loose, disorganized, drawn out fashion that the viewer basically has to take notes or do a supercut of it just to get the substance out of it.
It's a rough draft that goes on for 10 times longer than it needs to. If you couldn't explain what was wrong in that film within an hour, you failed the task and you have simply created a piece of media JUST AS FLAWED as the target of your criticism.
both the writing and actual production capture the style perfectly. excellent parody
Then there will be some random comment saying, “ if I had a penny everytime [insert here] happened, I’d have 2 pennies which isn’t alot but it’s still strange that it’s happened twice”.
As a filmmaker I can't tell you how much video essays have fucked up the minds of so many creatives.
Who are your favorites?
95% of TH-cam content is pure brainrot shit.
wait , really ? how ? ...do a video essay on this topic , i'll tune in
show dont tell is an example of that (suddenly you cant make characters talk about what they do since its "bad exposition")
@@natax1737me getting mad at my friend after he trauma dumps (he was supposed to show, not tell)
Everytime I watch a TH-cam video essay I come back to this again and it feels like I've watched the same thing twice.
Every video game essay goes like:
-The day they bought the game
-No less than 45 minutes on why capitalism bad
-''It's a pretty neat game''
meanwhile, hbomber:
> talks about a game everyone kinda forgot about
> it was rated "pretty good" in its time
> 2 hours later
> "don't you dare think I forgot that capitalism is bad"
> 1 more hour just for good measure
> "yeah its alright"
and then me, who watched that entire thing, like, 5 times.
@@SonicMaster327 and then we have the chad avgn
>Plays a game
>"This is fucking shit!!! What were they thinking?"
>Chugs a beer
>The end
@Moldy_Mask
You forgot the part where he poops and destroys the game with a drill.
Background goes black.
"But it's not."
The completely unrelated shot of an espresso machine was perfect 😂
Nerdwriter and Thomas Flight been real quiet since this dropped.
0:18 honestly that intro is way funnier when you realize that quote was about theatrical drama, not actual drama so it really does make even less sense
Not accurate, doesn't have an awkwardly forced joke every 3 seconds and flashy graphics in 9 different colors to keep the goldfish brains engaged. Any video essay TH-camr who can't gain their composure and stop with that nonsense within the first 10 seconds instantly loses me.
I like video essays. They’re a very comfy form of media and can definitely provoke thought if written well. But the ones where the creator is just speaking as a human are the best ones.
forgot the squarespace, hello fresh, brilliant or nord vpn sponsor
"My local coffee shop" *shows Starbucks* perfect
This is brilliant. I almost spit out my soy latte at multiple points as I noticed all the hidden allegories relating to our post-capitalist society.
Soy latte 😭
"This is brilliant."
Speaking of brilliant... this video is brought to you by brilliant. Brilliant is an online...
@@BuzzNBenI actually laughed
Bro need raw milk
Talking about an episode of a comedy kids show in the most serious voice ever like it was a groundbreaking cinematic achievement
"how this backyardigans episode broke me"
@@konsuno8143 and they talk about it like some abstract avant-garde arthouse film with a deeper hidden message
You forget excessive use of tape rewind sound effects before part one
christ that comment shoutout scared me for a second man
great video tho, I completely understood all of it! cinema really is a macabre facsimile of yestertime.
You are wrong ….....….……… And false
As a man who watches(-ed) A LOT of Video Essays, you are on point. Most of them are exactly like this
Why would you torture yourself like that? ;p
@@keegster7167 I actually like some of them. Mostly from creators like Pyrocynical, who are actually mostly focused on talking about "why" and "what" they like/dislike about a game/movie, rather than pretending they are better than others for doing so.
watchesed?
It's also nice to listen to as a background noise. Kinda like letting the tv on when you're alone so you feel less lonely.
@acethecrow NakeyJakey is awesome too.
“To understand Mr. Krabs’ avarice, we must go back to the Neolithic Revolution in Mesopotamia in 10,000 BC”
The Right Opinion be like
@@11angels You don't know, but I do.
but TRO covers drama in detail, not pretend intellectual bullshit
"why X is an underrated masterpiece"
*2 hours later*
"it's alright"
My absolute favourite part was the unsubscribing from "ish"".
"Until they decided to go fucking *MAINSTREAM* "
The malice in those words. 😂
1:15
You forgot the mandatory shilling for the creator's patreon and "this video is sponsored by squarespace" somewhere in the *middle*
Fucking wisecrack channel....
Hmmm. Sounds like something a slug would say
Or alternatively, if the creator is still too small to get a sponsorship, there is a dedicated part in the video that tells the viewers that there is no sponsorship.
A link in the comments for some obvious spam for drain unblocker or whatever the youtube person is trying earn $5 per 10000 from that I report as spam everytime I see it. It's like earning this $5 per year is more important to the 'creator' than even making a decent video.
ESTABLISHED TITLES
Only part that was missing was "...which leads me to todays sponsor"
"Here's why [MULTI-BILLIONAIRE CORPO PRODUCT] is art"
Can't forget how most of the video ends up being a summary of the plot
Only thing it is missing is the pretentiousness of being the length of half of your entire life.
Just realized Video essays are just an evolution of the typography lyric videos.
“the ability to speak doesn’t make you intelligent”
- the only good phrase from star wars the phantom menace
My favourite:
Why "X Mediocre AAA Slop from 10 years ago" is underrated/underappreciated.