No one talks about the unyielding rage. The anger you feel when you begin to discover the names of the tactics used to "keep you in line". Rage comes first. Next rage mixed with sadness/depression. Finally comes acceptance with all the emotions that become easier to process. It's taking me years to feel anything other than anger and sadness from what I've been through. Hell to this day there are times when I think back and/or remember more that's happened the rage resurfaces. However, it no longer consumes me.
It really is an a-ha moment. For most of my life, I was told "oh, you just misunderstood," or "you just don't remember correctly," etc. regarding my father. When my psychiatrist explained things to me, and told me it was NOT ok and it was NOT my doing, the emotions in me were overwhelming.
@@BrittJoshua24-15well done, I was 23 years but knew something wasn’t right after my son was born but still 11 years afterwards I had no clue I was bewitched by a covert narcissist
I was blown away when my therapist enlightened me ... I still can't believe I was played like a fiddle, hell, even I even sang along... wisdom comes with a price! Thanks, Jill, you're the best!
This is so very true. From early childhood on, I was subjected to many different forms of abuse. Although I worked hard on myself and tried to make sense of it and how it impacted on me, it wasn't until a few years ago, at age 61 when I watched videos such as yours that the pieces of the puzzle came together, finally I had the words, I had a voice. This is the most free I have ever felt. Thank you Jill 🌸
Experiencing this insidious behavior as we all have on this platform. It is a very sick situation. With the whole family being this way its real crazy. Its no help in sight, is more crazier. None of us deserves this in our life. Its cruel and very un Godly. Thank you Jill. Keep speaking to this community we all can use your help. Thanks again🙏🏿
When I was about 8 years old, I KNEW something was wrong with my two narcissistic parents after I was exposed to NORMAL families.. I KNEW they NEVER LOVED me!
whrn I was about 7 my mom screammed in my face that she hated me and to get out of her sight that I looked like her mother in law dad was her flying monkey poor us
@@Gail-iv7om you have a heart of gold to feel for a stranger even n tho you didnt have the best family you still have empathy and love in your heart for people thank-you for your kind reply have a blessed day
It was world shattering. I was told it was my fault. It was also my permission to forgive myself for not causing it. This was 6 months out of the abuse. 6 months later I am just grateful...
When I discovered there was a name for what I had gone through, I was very grateful and I shared this information with a "mentor" but You wouldn't believe the backlash I got. He was absolutely certain that if I followed this trail it would make me crazy. And he victim shamed me, trying so hard to gaslight me to admit it was my fault.
I hope you’ve worked on learning who is safe and who is not. I know it was a huge obstacle for me, and I still don’t know if I’m safe yet. But knowing there are wolves in sheep’s clothing is a good (but hard) first step
I always knew something was off with him but it was 27 yrs later when I learned that narcissism was a thing. Angry doesn’t begin to describe the feelings I felt. However, it was the beginning of a long journey to recovery. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. Prayers and blessings for all those affected by these monsters. You are truly loved. 🙏🏼❤️
Dont feel anything at all anymore. Except contempt. So glad that i broke free. After watching countless Videos and teading 6 different books about ASPDs. Be aware and y'all out there "stay safe" the only relationship wirh a ASPDs and NPDs is NO relationship!
I couldn't figure out as to why she folded 39 yrs of marriage ! It all makes sense when watching the loggers and their information and I thank you all...👍
❤ yes Gill thanks to you being such a dedicated educated empath raising awareness and consciousness regarding this type of epidemic, being narcissistic abuse, that we have literally running rampid here in the west! Its almost like some have forgotten how to be decent fair people in dealing with others. So many insecure people out there are threatened by genuine kind confident beautiful aware smart educated people such as yourself. Looking good Jill, lovely colour aesthetics. Your frames are lit!
Absolutely!!!!! I knew about the lying and no accountability. But then I found out about “stonewalling” and “monkey branching”. Absolutely stunning. But the trauma bonding. My word. The first month away, I dreamt of her every single night! I lost 30 lbs. I had to have my 14 year son sit with me at night and watch movies. I’ve never experienced such a detrimental connection. BUT, during the darkness, I was forced to see things within myself, deep wounds and insecurities, among other things. Learning why I was attracted to her. Richard Grannon on TH-cam has been profound for me. I’m truly thankful to be learning all this.
I stopped trusting him years ago. It was his character I loathed. Our relationship started too fast. I allowed him to move in quickly. I got pregnant and married 1.5 years later. Then, I felt stuck. I tried for years to work on us, to change me, pray, read books, etc. Now, I know what I'm dealing with. I'm no longer tolerant or willing. I feel used, and I'm pissed. That's how I can let it go and walk away so easily. Never looking back. I'm relieved this entity is out of my presence. Once you realize it was abuse, everything changes - in the blink of an eye.
Took me more than a decade to find out. Now, I'm keeping my distance, or I use their own tactics against them. Once you see the truth, you just shake your head at how ridiculous they act like.
All these videos I watch, so many light bulbs come on!! I have disconnected, disengaged, gone zero contact. I don't like that it's family, but it is what it is. I've orphaned myself essentially.
You and a million of others just like us. For some of us it took 70 years to come to this critical realization, but once we are out we know we did the right thing. Love is all we need!
True. Once you learn there are names for the abusive manipulation tactics you have been subjected to, you feel anger and relief that now you know. Knowledge is power and the Truth of what you have been through sets you free which is why we must protect the freedom of speech. It’s vital for survival. Thank you for everything you do Jill. ❤
It was 20 yrs after my divorce that i learned the words of what i dealt with in y marriage…i kind of reviewed all the things he did to me, remembered things that i thought i forgot, it all made sense and fell into place, my angry stage was the first 3 yrs after the divorce, i did not want that anger again and thankfully did not get that anger back. What i did get was words to put it to. I am happy for that.
Her stonewalling legit had me thinking she’s slow/mentally ill all 5 yrs. Although I did suspect malicious intent n itching to learn more. Then eventually found receipts of all the cheating gaslighting manipulating manufacturing arguments to cheat etc. so yea gonna trust myself quicker going forward
It is…but the ultimate win for the narcissist is that you can never confront them or expect closure from retaliation. Your win is that you get to walk away
Happy they know they truth about their abuse. God answered my prayers. Hallelujah, now I hope they take the next step, walk away from their abusers nar parents, and heal .
Yes. As an Empath and Psychic, I knew from the jump that something was clearly wrong, but I did know what it was. When I learned, and dotted all the ‘i’s’ and crossed the ‘ts’ I was so happy. But my fault too. I ignored all the red flags. Who knew creature’s like this existed in the world? I didn’t. I thought that I could heal her. Not to be. Blocked, No Contact.
Yes, I have been angry for a long time now, and I look like the abuser probably because im so angry and this very bad, evil man plays the victim. He is disgusting. It hurts me every day that he is getting away with the torture he put me through. I'm not doing too well, it fcked up my life
Yes! This kind of severe abuse can cause brain damage. Now, in the process of repairing the damage that was inflicted intentionally. Once you have a name and a definition, it is a huge light bulb moment!
I started making up nicknames before I found out the real names and labels for this abuse I can't believe how much they sounded alike I'm so pissed that I've gone through this abuse I'm still going through this abuse and find out that I probably have autism on top of it it makes me twice as mad figuring out I have autism and going through this abuse you shouldn't be doing this abuse to anybody much less somebody with autism or ADHD or any other mental illnesses
@@ABCD-si7px This is what makes this insidious behavior a crazy cycle. Because what they do is on purpose. To my understanding they know what they do. Wow! How sad right. Stay strong.
I haven’t felt raged or angered - I am feeling grief but at the same time I feel relieved , liberated , strong , enlightened- I have forgiven the person because I see it as a disease and not a choice - I may be wrong in that conclusion but it has given me a closure - now none of my energy is focussed towards that person .
True. I told my ex narc girlfriend, how do you feel now that your masc has dropped down. She saw the massage and didn't reply back. Now no contact for one month
This is how it was for me. Doctor Ramani had him word for word....tactic by tactic. It was mind blowing to watch him doing it. Once I now knew what was happening I understood it when watching it in action. I had the keys to the kingdom.
It indeed changes everything. And once you see it you can’t unsee it.
Ever
that was an absolutely life changing moment
They can not trick you anymore.
Before, you tried to figure out the Puzzle 🧩.
No one talks about the unyielding rage. The anger you feel when you begin to discover the names of the tactics used to "keep you in line".
Rage comes first. Next rage mixed with sadness/depression. Finally comes acceptance with all the emotions that become easier to process.
It's taking me years to feel anything other than anger and sadness from what I've been through. Hell to this day there are times when I think back and/or remember more that's happened the rage resurfaces. However, it no longer consumes me.
Very well said. That's what I'm going through.
When you continually find yourself asking "who does that?!?" and you start searching for answers, the turning point is there.
Yes! That moment of truth when you realize that you’re not crazy, rather you been dealing with a Narc is definitely a game changer for life.
Took 36 years to find the right words to describe my sister.
2 different t seed lines
I so understand that! I divorced most of my narcissistic family 30 years ago - at 39.
@@davidpinzone-zl4hd they in every family..2 differen seed lines on this earth.
Took me longer but finally went no contact with my sister
Suddenly it all makes sense and you start to recognize every tactic used.
It really is an a-ha moment. For most of my life, I was told "oh, you just misunderstood," or "you just don't remember correctly," etc. regarding my father. When my psychiatrist explained things to me, and told me it was NOT ok and it was NOT my doing, the emotions in me were overwhelming.
That's exactly what I called it. " Light Bulb moment"...!!! True..!! and now I understand.
❤ Your right! Now, I'm calm. The worst thing was when I realized all that they told me were lies.
Hey Jill,
Yes! Yes. It's almost like salvation, when hearing this stuff, The last 25 years made sense now. With a 'name' and explanation.
Mine was 23 years and from what I’ve heard and read, 20 years is the norm. My ex is a covert narcissist
39 years of marriage and never knew. Left me in debt, life savings gone but I have my sanity. I wasn’t the crazy one.
Thirty five years & I filed for divorce. The best thing that I ever did!
I cant even imagine that many years. I was suicidal after 16 years. Thats when i got out.
@@BrittJoshua24-15well done, I was 23 years but knew something wasn’t right after my son was born but still 11 years afterwards I had no clue I was bewitched by a covert narcissist
28 years and counting…… but knowing the f-ckery is f-ckery is a game changer……. The game is over
You're very fortunate to still have your sanity ...✌️
That's 100% correct.
Right on... EVERYTHING definitely changes
Betrayal.
The betrayal. 😭
This is so true! Exactly! Thank U Jill the Wise ❤❤❤
I was blown away when my therapist enlightened me ... I still can't believe I was played like a fiddle, hell, even I even sang along... wisdom comes with a price! Thanks, Jill, you're the best!
This is so very true. From early childhood on, I was subjected to many different forms of abuse. Although I worked hard on myself and tried to make sense of it and how it impacted on me, it wasn't until a few years ago, at age 61 when I watched videos such as yours that the pieces of the puzzle came together, finally I had the words, I had a voice. This is the most free I have ever felt. Thank you Jill 🌸
Experiencing this insidious behavior as we all have on this platform. It is a very sick situation. With the whole family being this way its real crazy. Its no help in sight, is more crazier. None of us deserves this in our life. Its cruel and very un Godly. Thank you Jill. Keep speaking to this community we all can use your help. Thanks again🙏🏿
100% Right ON Point 👍 Thank You
This is exactly what happened for me!!! So happy to know I wasn't crazy and now I can heal.
Very true it helps a lot .when you know it still hurts. thank you 💯
Yes!!! so when people get annoyed by the word narcissism, I say too bad. The truth will set you free, but is often misunderstood.
Life changing.
Life saving. 🍀🍀🍀🍀😀
When I was about 8 years old, I KNEW something was wrong with my two narcissistic parents after I was exposed to NORMAL families.. I KNEW they NEVER LOVED me!
whrn I was about 7 my mom screammed in my face that she hated me and to get out of her sight that I looked like her mother in law dad was her flying monkey poor us
@@renaissance5300 I really feel for you. I'm sorry this happened to you
@@Gail-iv7om you have a heart of gold to feel for a stranger even n tho you didnt have the best family you still have empathy and love in your heart for people thank-you for your kind reply have a blessed day
@@renaissance5300 TY In my teens, I promised myself I would NEVER TREAT anyone like my parents treated me. PEACE to you in your life!
I always thought I was going mad but I've been 15 years and it's damaged me so much god bless everyone.
It was world shattering. I was told it was my fault. It was also my permission to forgive myself for not causing it. This was 6 months out of the abuse. 6 months later I am just grateful...
All true.
Deeply relieved is an understatement so grateful I’m free ❤
When I discovered there was a name for what I had gone through, I was very grateful and I shared this information with a "mentor" but You wouldn't believe the backlash I got. He was absolutely certain that if I followed this trail it would make me crazy. And he victim shamed me, trying so hard to gaslight me to admit it was my fault.
I hope you’ve worked on learning who is safe and who is not. I know it was a huge obstacle for me, and I still don’t know if I’m safe yet. But knowing there are wolves in sheep’s clothing is a good (but hard) first step
I always knew something was off with him but it was 27 yrs later when I learned that narcissism was a thing. Angry doesn’t begin to describe the feelings I felt. However, it was the beginning of a long journey to recovery. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us. Prayers and blessings for all those affected by these monsters. You are truly loved. 🙏🏼❤️
Dont feel anything at all anymore. Except contempt. So glad that i broke free. After watching countless Videos and teading 6 different books about ASPDs. Be aware and y'all out there "stay safe" the only relationship wirh a ASPDs and NPDs is NO relationship!
Contempt indeed.
🤗🍀✊ Freeedoooom now.
Amen!
Happened to me and I still get chills and nightmares from what I put up with to much energy invested in her
MY WHOLE PHUCKING LIFE and I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT.
Me too
Read the book of John. John 3:16
Been there ,While it's been 6 years since it ended ..I still feel like life will never be the same .
I pray everyday that my life will never be the same and that I don't revert back to old programmed patterns.
It took me 58 years to identify what my Sadistically CATHOLIC "Christian" family has done to me since my role began @ my Friday the 13th birth.
Thankyou for the continuous validation Jill. It speaks to my 💜
True....👿👿..... Power Persevering in Prayers Psalms 1-150🙏
Omg, it's like an epiphany. She couldn't be more correct. She explains it so eloquently, to a T, everything I felt!
I couldn't figure out as to why she folded 39 yrs of marriage !
It all makes sense when watching the loggers and their information and I thank you all...👍
❤ yes Gill thanks to you being such a dedicated educated empath raising awareness and consciousness regarding this type of epidemic, being narcissistic abuse, that we have literally running rampid here in the west! Its almost like some have forgotten how to be decent fair people in dealing with others. So many insecure people out there are threatened by genuine kind confident beautiful aware smart educated people such as yourself. Looking good Jill, lovely colour aesthetics. Your frames are lit!
😂😅😂it's true ..she couldn't believe i catched up so fast😅😅
This is very helpful
I do look at the relationship differently now, but I’m not rageful, rather, I am relieved.
Absolutely!!!!! I knew about the lying and no accountability. But then I found out about “stonewalling” and “monkey branching”. Absolutely stunning. But the trauma bonding. My word. The first month away, I dreamt of her every single night! I lost 30 lbs. I had to have my 14 year son sit with me at night and watch movies. I’ve never experienced such a detrimental connection. BUT, during the darkness, I was forced to see things within myself, deep wounds and insecurities, among other things. Learning why I was attracted to her. Richard Grannon on TH-cam has been profound for me. I’m truly thankful to be learning all this.
I stopped trusting him years ago. It was his character I loathed. Our relationship started too fast. I allowed him to move in quickly. I got pregnant and married 1.5 years later. Then, I felt stuck. I tried for years to work on us, to change me, pray, read books, etc.
Now, I know what I'm dealing with. I'm no longer tolerant or willing. I feel used, and I'm pissed. That's how I can let it go and walk away so easily. Never looking back. I'm relieved this entity is out of my presence.
Once you realize it was abuse, everything changes - in the blink of an eye.
Took me more than a decade to find out. Now, I'm keeping my distance, or I use their own tactics against them. Once you see the truth, you just shake your head at how ridiculous they act like.
You absolutely nailed it!
Thank you ❤🤍💙
All these videos I watch, so many light bulbs come on!! I have disconnected, disengaged, gone zero contact. I don't like that it's family, but it is what it is. I've orphaned myself essentially.
You and a million of others just like us. For some of us it took 70 years to come to this critical realization, but once we are out we know we did the right thing.
Love is all we need!
@@gracegwozdz8185 for me it took 42 years.
Yes, how true.
Very true
54 YEARS OF ME BEING TH CRAZY ONE! HA!
🤗
True. Once you learn there are names for the abusive manipulation tactics you have been subjected to, you feel anger and relief that now you know. Knowledge is power and the Truth of what you have been through sets you free which is why we must protect the freedom of speech. It’s vital for survival. Thank you for everything you do Jill. ❤
Everything changes!☀️🌺
Thank you. You bring so much into focus❤🙏
It was 20 yrs after my divorce that i learned the words of what i dealt with in y marriage…i kind of reviewed all the things he did to me, remembered things that i thought i forgot, it all made sense and fell into place, my angry stage was the first 3 yrs after the divorce, i did not want that anger again and thankfully did not get that anger back. What i did get was words to put it to. I am happy for that.
Her stonewalling legit had me thinking she’s slow/mentally ill all 5 yrs. Although I did suspect malicious intent n itching to learn more. Then eventually found receipts of all the cheating gaslighting manipulating manufacturing arguments to cheat etc. so yea gonna trust myself quicker going forward
Spot on! 💯%
It is…but the ultimate win for the narcissist is that you can never confront them or expect closure from retaliation. Your win is that you get to walk away
Indeed ❤❤❤
Happy they know they truth about their abuse. God answered my prayers. Hallelujah, now I hope they take the next step, walk away from their abusers nar parents, and heal .
Yes yes yes and YES 💯
THEY RUN THERE GAME 🎮🎮🎮🎮 DIFFERENT TIMES AND STORIES
I never got angry.
I got both analytical and into my feelings figuring out why
BTW; Good for you
I've been crying for hours
Yes. As an Empath and Psychic, I knew from the jump that something was clearly wrong, but I did know what it was. When I learned, and dotted all the ‘i’s’ and crossed the ‘ts’ I was so happy. But my fault too. I ignored all the red flags. Who knew creature’s like this existed in the world? I didn’t. I thought that I could heal her. Not to be. Blocked, No Contact.
Yess, you are right!
Yes, I have been angry for a long time now, and I look like the abuser probably because im so angry and this very bad, evil man plays the victim. He is disgusting. It hurts me every day that he is getting away with the torture he put me through. I'm not doing too well, it fcked up my life
Thanks❤
Absolutely
Yes! This kind of severe abuse can cause brain damage. Now, in the process of repairing the damage that was inflicted intentionally. Once you have a name and a definition, it is a huge light bulb moment!
I started making up nicknames before I found out the real names and labels for this abuse I can't believe how much they sounded alike I'm so pissed that I've gone through this abuse I'm still going through this abuse and find out that I probably have autism on top of it it makes me twice as mad figuring out I have autism and going through this abuse you shouldn't be doing this abuse to anybody much less somebody with autism or ADHD or any other mental illnesses
That is true.
Spot on 😢
And then you realize it was on purpose!
🎯
@@ABCD-si7px This is what makes this insidious behavior a crazy cycle. Because what they do is on purpose. To my understanding they know what they do. Wow! How sad right. Stay strong.
That. Freeeeeedooooooom 🤸🏼♀️
I haven’t felt raged or angered - I am feeling grief but at the same time I feel relieved , liberated , strong , enlightened- I have forgiven the person because I see it as a disease and not a choice - I may be wrong in that conclusion but it has given me a closure - now none of my energy is focussed towards that person .
YES🗣️YES💯YES🔥💔🫂
Thank You❤️🩹🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Amen
Thought it was a spectrum issue until narcissistic info found me 🧐😳💡🤯 it changed from unknown to seen No more darkness now live in the light of day☀️
She is beautiful
True. I told my ex narc girlfriend, how do you feel now that your masc has dropped down. She saw the massage and didn't reply back. Now no contact for one month
When you know you know!!
Oh, yes!!!
👏👏👏👏
Yes.....discovered this shit in Feb and it felt as if I came to touch with reality after being in a limbo for 11 years.....😢
💐
This is how it was for me. Doctor Ramani had him word for word....tactic by tactic. It was mind blowing to watch him doing it. Once I now knew what was happening I understood it when watching it in action. I had the keys to the kingdom.
Beautiful you ❤️
Exactly,so well said.
Your hair looks good like that by the way.❤
Total Game Changer.
💯
"is this normal...am i wrong? what is happening?"
it takes time to see that you are dealing with a monster.
Perfectly put. I now have the word!!! For years I asked myself was it bu polor.? Mental illness. Now you hit the answer
🍀
Yes quadrupole yes❤
Love ur narcissist vids I've suffered alots bc of this evil sicko.
I caught my abuser and labeled them on my insta. You would be shocked how badly abused some people are by the ones I reveal.
Excellent
GAMEOVER!
Yeah