I have a roommate I like to bingo him in the head 🗣️ specially when he speaks😮 the fridge is outside of my door 🚪 we share it 😔 he keeps talking to himself and gesturing in front of my door 🚪 your critic ❓🤔🧐
@@Critic-qn3hg That's hilarious 😆! I haven't "Bingoed him in the head, I just wrote him completely out of the game! I'm not playing anymore, I left winning and he's the biggest loser!
@@itshappeningagain he was really nice when I first moved in, I noticed he looked in the worst in people 😔 so I did my research, I caught a channel 😁 about narcissists, I did not know what, it's meaning, but I knew that it was bad 😞 and it's good to know about, thanks for your comments have a nice 👍 new year, PS I was watching a video, they said they hate horror movies , I grabbed a couple of horror movies knocked on his door 🚪 two or three of them he looked and said I hate slasher movies killing, amazing I went back and finished the video, 😁 again have a good day
@@Critic-qn3hg Oh my gosh, you've got to stop, you're killing me, I'm laughing so hard!!! Good for you, he sounds like a real weirdo! You have a nice holiday as well ! 😜🙏😆
They will gaslight themselves to the very bitter end that they never did anything wrong and it's all your fault. They are so twisted, we can not even come close to comprehend it.
Staying No Contact is a blessing. My life is peaceful and I now have goals. We are NOT created to be abused. No contact is for personal physical safety, emotional well being.
You CAN beat them at their own game: discard them and and stay 'no contact'! After 30 years, I, yes I discarded the narc 6 weeks ago, because I worked out what he is and finally accepted he will NEVER change! I'm so happy now that I have my life back.
Thank you all for kindness and support. I hope we've all managed to reduce our exposure to narcs. For me, it's now almost 5 months since I beat the narc at his own game, discarded HIM after 30years , have remained no contact and couldn't be happier about it... An interesting Post Script is that, quite predictably, last month he tried to get a reaction from me by threatening to undertake a very petty, childish and baseless legal action against me.... No contact and complete silence was my reaction. No contact works for everything they may try.
It absolutely IS easy to go No Contact once they hoover you into more emotional garbage, “miss you’s” and “non negotiables”, which is exactly what I just unfortunately went through about a month or so ago. She’s already slept with a handful of people only weeks after we broke up, so that speaks volumes. These scumbags can never be alone, not even for 5 minutes. I changed my number last week for good, so thankfully that demon in human form can’t try to screw with me ever again.
It’s freaky how similar your experience is to my ex narc gf. She stalked and hounded me for four months and voicemails of how I was the only one for her, “it’s you it’s always been you” and her undying love for me. She later slipped up in her lies and admitted she had slept with several guys during that time. I’ve changed my number two weeks ago and in full contact and now she is back to the “miss you so much” emails that go to junk folder. To think she is 31 years old. Was two years on and off of pathological lying and abuse. 2024 is a fresh start for me. I’m glad you got through this too.
@@northernsegageorge6510 My man, my ex Narc literally said multiple times to me “It’s always been you.” throughout our relationship. 🤯 We have experienced, more or less, almost the exact same behaviors used upon us from these manipulative scumbags. Lol. Just goes to show how most narcs read from, and use, the exact same playbook. It’s disgusting. I hope that 2024 brings the both of us crystal clear vision as to who we consciously allow into our lives, wether a friendship or relationship. I’m not out of the woods yet, but hopefully I can free myself sooner rather than later from the ex narcs energetic mind traps. God helps us, my dude. 💪
I have (had) a close friend that I’ve known for well over a decade, he was always funny with a provocating edge but charming. To this day, I know no one else that was as sexually promiscious as him, however finally found someone to settle down with. It lasted for a couple of years and they had a child, one day out of the blue they broke up and the very same day he went and picked up another girl (!) I asked him if that wasn’t a bit extreme, considering how long they’ve been together, but he had zero qualms and instead asked me how long he was supposed to wait? (!!) At that time I was not familiar with narcissist disorder, I just always considered him emotionally cold and superfocused on his (mainly superficial) goals. One thing that specially strikes me now is that he always had this sort of dead gaze. His son inherited the same eyes. Last I heard he was going to get married to his new gf, but just before he threathened her to “GTFO if she didn’t like what he was providing”, of course she folded and I managed to distance myself from them altogether. Another thing which I found odd in retrospect is that during all that time, he had absolutely no other real friends, all his acquaintances were my friends to begin with (that I now realise were gatewayed under my cover of approval)
@@northernsegageorge6510what’s funny about narcissists is once you realize how they operate they’re becoming boring and predictable because they all do the same shit in patterns and cycles. Know one of them, know them alll
The concept of “doing nothing as revenge” involves using inaction as a way to regain control and assert power in a situation where someone has wronged you. This approach emphasizes self-restraint and emotional control, turning the focus inward rather than outward.
When being discarded, step on the gas, and look straight forward. Don't look back or into the rear view mirror! 😂❤😊 They gave you a gift that will keep on giving back to them. That's your SILENCE coming through loud and clear that they're insignificant to you. It crushes their self inflated ego into the ground and allows you to heal. 😊❤😊
Staying no contact is the best thing for you and the worst thing for them. Perfectly said thanks Joe. I’m now doing well in my healing/no contact journey and will continue to do so forever more!
I did give it to him. He begged and pleaded...told me i was the love of his life..sent me roses...songs ...video clips of good times together...asked to come live by me,be my neighbor ect. ect.ect. all the while i was sharing my excitement about my new move, my wonderful christmas,my new friends, my peace,joy,my growth in my relationship w/God and in my faith 😊 i think he tollerated it as long as he could until it became unbearable and he realized that ive healed and ive learned of his illness and his incapability to do healthy and to go where ive gone and am going still. He is now silent/retreated and so am /have i. Its the best possible scenario in comparison to the countless false starts and abrupt endings. It feels peaceful😊 God has been gracious.
Joe, this is so true. He lurked and heat tested and then finally gave it a real effort (5 years post discard)…three months after I got married to another. I now believe he was seeing if he could get me to break up my new marriage as a 4th of July type finale of abuse. How delusional!
"If you get weird feelings that they might be observing you, at least intensely thinking about you, sometimes our bodies can pick up when someone is intensely thinking about us, working out how to get into our lives again." Yes. I experience that as the puppetmaster probing spiritual defences to see if he can send his puppet back to you again to finish the job. Have to let him know there's no way back and cultivate an adamant will regarding that.
I left my relationship of 11 years with a covert narcissist 4 years ago and have remained in No Contact. Lately, I have been feeling her negative energy around me and couldn't understand why this was happening. Several weeks ago I was shocked by an email from her requesting that we "connect " again using a social media platform used for employees connections and networking. I did not respond to her request. This explains why I suddenly was experiencing thoughts about her eventhough my life was going fine without her in it. I'm still getting her vibes now but not to the point of ruminating about the past and quickly dismiss those feelings when they arise. I'm hoping she will move on so my life can get back to normal again and I stop receiving her energy in my thoughts.
@@Bob-zh6dw Thank you Bob. I believe just as with plowing and sowing good seeds, so does the enemy plow to sow bad seeds. First came the energy. Then came the message. Do not place your hopes on what she will or will not do, for every false expectation is a little defeat and weakens us. Instead brace yourself for battle. And the best way to prevent war is by having a strong military (or personal defense). The enemy only attacks a weak position. It is a sad thing that people put us in the position of having to go no contact as the only form of love that remains after exhausting other options. But when that line is crossed, that's what it has to be. That's the good lesson we can teach them. They will never have even the remotest chance of learning, if we give in. I watched Blade Runner II with the person I used to be with. Dekkard says, "Sometimes to love, you have to love from afar." I felt the strongest premonition hearing that. And it turned out to be true. No contact is a form of love, unselfish love. You are telling the person that their "god" is not as strong as yours, and that he has lied to them making them think they could get you back at any time. All the best.
She’s not getting back in my life. She walked out to go be with her ex from 15 years ago for money and status, so I’ll let her have all that. There’s no reentries into this amusement park. The door is slammed, bolted and welded shut. She had her chance.
I went no contact before I understood what that term meant. Months later, I wondered what she was up to, but I realized she blocked me. I hadn't noticed. More months passed and she unblocked me and began liking my posts- the few she could see where I tagged mutual friends. When I saw that, I blocked her, and she remains permanently blocked. When they look back and find they're still blocked, does each unsuccessful peek cause a narcissistic injury? I hope so.
They will hang in there. You will get strong. Just keep reminding yourself for now all he/she has done. All that nasty manipulation. Remind yourself you don’t wanna live that again. Don’t forget they are big liars!!!
I’m in the same boat. You’re not alone. I was discarded a few weeks ago and I am broken. I miss him. I inexplicably want him back even though I know damn well his level of narcissism was bordering on abusive. Why do I want him back? He’s so bad for me. I keep hoping he’ll Hoover me but he hasn’t. Makes me feel unloveable.
They get their Karma everyday. They don't want to be like this. Imagine having to attach oxygen cylinders to your body everyday. Their supply is like oxygen to us. They need to attach and keep finding people to play this game...
I disagree they are self aware, especially as an adult, so I don't feel sorry for people who are purposely evil to others, and playing dumb mind games.. Alot of narcs are sadistic, if they don't change their bad ways then they deserve double Karma. Their pain should not be elevated over their victims.
Once they have a new person for their self esteem drip, it’s likely they aren’t even thinking about you and they want you to stay away, unless they are triangulating. Until that person doesn’t show up or they start to have doubts. If you hear from them again they are trying to regulate their emotions and get an ego hit through you. Most likely they are not remembering or appreciating you as a person if they contact you again. Remember how fast they forgot about you when they split you black? They also sometimes come back to test if they made the right decision or not and validate for themselves that they are right to not be with you. But they may act as if they are interested and care about you again. Be careful and don’t be an open book. They’re just assessing you hierarchically to see if their new self esteem drip is better or not. Or for an ego hit to boost themselves up or to enjoy seeing you down (both will do). It’s gross. Narcs are totally eff that! They try on people’s lives, take what they like, and then dump their heavy dark garbage on you while pointing and telling you how terrible you are. Confusion is a huge sign re what you are dealing with. And later deep loathing and anger. You must take care of yourself and stay the heck away from them or they will infect you. I’m totally serious. You can start to become just like them from the damage they can do. Especially if your childhood had some missing nurturance, creating a high tolerance for red flags. Like a really healthy person does not care what the narc is thinking when you go no contact. A healthy person is just like, thank you God! And, oh hell no, see ya! But a lot of times the brain will keep trying to reconcile what has happened and who this person was. And a lot of times it might really bother someone that a lot of it doesn’t make sense and you want to see them as the nice person you knew, but can’t. A lot of times even though angry, you don’t want to add to an already disordered person’s issues or get further tangled in them. The grief can be complicated grief.
I kicked out my narcissist and talked to her parents directly, they sympathized with me and helped me straighten her out. she's currently 6 months sober and working a hard job, I still talk to my ex but she's having a rough time after I took all my offerings.
Was just out pulling weeds and listening to my favorite Joe..you hit on every thing in every video,and I just want to say thank you for who you are, your knowledge and wisdom. You have helped me so much..I really do listen and appreciate you. Thank you
I have watched all your videos all the way through and they are very very helpful. I really appreciate the clarity plus you have a very nice voice, it is very calming I agree with another listener on that. Thank you ❤
i always think carefully of anything new im going to do now [such as a job change,joining a club etc ] because these ghouls can derail your plans even yrs after no contact ,they lurk in the shadows
This is hands down my favorite video you've ever made. I find myself coming back to it often, but today it felt extra special. After over a year of no contact, I received a hoover. He texted me a simple, "I miss you," but I have zero interest in his attempts to re-idealize me. Watching this video right after that was incredibly eye-opening. I've learned so much from your channel, and I want to thank you for your time and wisdom. You've made a lasting impact on my life. Here's to a lifetime of no contact. Cheers! 🥳✨🥳
Hey i love your style and production....i almost started to interject and talk to you! Had to stop myself 😂 its so chilled and like being with a kind and clever friend Nice one bro. Thank you 🏆🇬🇧
I hope it affects him. He's just about all I can think about. It's just shocking how heartless and cruel eomeone can be... and to think that I let him in. And I still miss him so bad.
I was the same way.....truly hurting but knowing I have to stay no contact. Now (6 years later), I am cleared of the trauma bond and getting back to my goals. Feels wonderful. Hang in there and I promise, it will get better and then wonderful. Hugs.
This part is so hard, I need to leave and I feel so stupid for staying knowing he will do it again, but he is my everything, and I have nothing to show for it but painful hurtful days, almost all of them🥺😭
The phrase. " value swich " is exactly it once you understand the affliction. Does it occur in the disordereds mind ? Maybe for a length of time, an manipulative skills evaluation, but its just onto the next, if available. . Is narcissistic decompensation and mortification real once this once accomplished charlatan of narc skills ages and molds. Absolutely. But the real and only concern is if the "value switch" has occured in self. Excellent vlog.
She texted me after a few weeks of no contact, and claimed that my mortgage lender was trying to get a hold of her but that doesn’t make any sense. Since I bought my house 8 years before we met
I see my ex narcissist weekly at the gym. I walked away from her. I went no contact. It’s been 14 months she sees me weekly. I’ve heard through the grapevine that she seen my social media as I’m with the younger prettier women we do not look at each other speak to each other, Complete indifference to one another at the gym she knows I’m glowing up. My life has gotten vastly better without her so I really question just how, devastating this is to her and narcissist when we go no contact
My narc boyfriend discarded me three days before Christmas. Why hasn’t he tried to Hoover me yet? I know it’s time to move on but if I’m being honest it would give me strength if he tried to Hoover me. It would feel like vindication.
When I go no contact he gives me mind games. Horrible ones. If I say hi every month or 2 I'm good. What are your thoughts? I can fight him but it isn't fun. I did it for 5 months once. But I don't think about him anymore. He's not on my mind and I literally don't care anymore. Enough is enough. I'm never going back or down that rabbit hole again. I've been there twice and it's no picnic.
I always tell my husband... You don't like me when he hoovers you got what you wanted your new boo and got what you needed me out the picture hello goodbye
How does it affect them if they have another supply or always had one. When she contracted me I think it was made up to get me to get me to beg her to come back
Been no.contact for nearly a year. First time I haven't wished him.merry Xmas. We have no mutual friends. I was always suspicious of him. Blocked him everywhere. Yesterday.i saw his name on Facebook and clicked on it..he's made another page..sent a Christma😅 to 😅everyone..signed😮the narcissist. Lol I blocked it..
@@kaoshi_kutie I wonder... is it always the case... maybe I just wasn't "worth it" to him. My nex is supposedly in love and happy with new supply. He abused me for years and then accused ME of being a covert narcissist and abusing him because of my trauma responses to what he has been doing to me.... after a few years I would start to dissociate and forget who I am whenever we had open communication as my body couldn't handle it anymore.
The narc I deal with has a “model” for a girlfriend as the new supply and he still sends me his scam “business” emails (it goes to spam) and I receive unknown phone calls literally every week from unknown phone numbers that intuitively believe are from him as this didn’t happen to me after going no contact about 4 years ago. It’s an unwanted “fan” for life. They Hoover you even if they or you are married. They don’t have respect for boundaries.
All this worldly (secular) psychological advise to the victim of a narcissist is futile! The only thing that will help the victim is to search God out, and surrender your life totally to Him. That is what will help you move on and return back to your normal life! Take it from someone that knows this and has return to God and can attest to this! ✝️
He sent his last mast blaming text a month ago. We broke up 5 weeks ago or so. Nothing since. Crickets. No hoover. Nothing. Seems like he’s happy he moved on and probably found supply elsewhere. He also gets major supply from smoking meth. Getting high. Wondering if he wil Hoover at some point but I shamed him pretty bad. Publicly as well. Crazy how these people act.
Found out my ex was using meth as well. I guarantee you his usage increased after you shamed him to mask his pain. If you saw him now, you'd be like wtf happened to you?! He'll hoover at some point.
Yes I heard he went hard with it after he bailed on me. Just don’t think he could keep up the act to be with me. I’m not sure he will Hoover. He is not very confident and a drug addict that was shamed by me so unlikely but I guess anything can happen.
So just a few days ago he drove slowly past my bar I work at and made sure I saw him. He played my favorite song on the juke box he always used to play me before he did this. Then drove by. Then nothing. I didn’t react.
Going no contact was easy for me. Grieving a lie was the hardest part. I literally felt like I was slowly dying. I’m fine now though, I laugh and cringe now 🫣😂
My favorite line in the whole video, "It's not your job, to give them a solution, to a problem that they created" Bingo!!!😊
I have a roommate I like to bingo him in the head 🗣️ specially when he speaks😮 the fridge is outside of my door 🚪 we share it 😔 he keeps talking to himself and gesturing in front of my door 🚪 your critic ❓🤔🧐
@@Critic-qn3hg That's hilarious 😆! I haven't "Bingoed him in the head, I just wrote him completely out of the game! I'm not playing anymore, I left winning and he's the biggest loser!
@@itshappeningagain he was really nice when I first moved in, I noticed he looked in the worst in people 😔 so I did my research, I caught a channel 😁 about narcissists, I did not know what, it's meaning, but I knew that it was bad 😞 and it's good to know about, thanks for your comments have a nice 👍 new year, PS I was watching a video, they said they hate horror movies , I grabbed a couple of horror movies knocked on his door 🚪 two or three of them he looked and said I hate slasher movies killing, amazing I went back and finished the video, 😁 again have a good day
@@Critic-qn3hg Oh my gosh, you've got to stop, you're killing me, I'm laughing so hard!!! Good for you, he sounds like a real weirdo! You have a nice holiday as well ! 😜🙏😆
Bingo
No contact is basically check mate.
Heck yesssss ❤
game over.
K.O
No contact is how you get your power back. Use it to contemplate, heal, and move on. DO not look back.
Just wanted to also say - they need us more than we need them!
They will gaslight themselves to the very bitter end that they never did anything wrong and it's all your fault. They are so twisted, we can not even come close to comprehend it.
Who really won? The one who walked away from losers in 2013 or the one who picked them out the trash in 2019 😂✌🏽
Staying No Contact is a blessing. My life is peaceful and I now have goals. We are NOT created to be abused. No contact is for personal physical safety, emotional well being.
Unless they know where u live 😢💔
You are right
nothing better than imagining a narcissist with no supply, sitting at home gnawing on their own leg.
Yahhh😂
Imagine?? I want full blown photo evidence of this! 😂
😂😂😂😂
This comment made my day, lol
Lmaooooo 😂
No contact helps us take back control of the narrative. Craziest relationship of my life.
The longer you stay, the worse it gets. They never get better.
I know my life is better because I left. No more being a doormat and no more being a friend to someone who has never been one to me!
You CAN beat them at their own game: discard them and and stay 'no contact'!
After 30 years, I, yes I discarded the narc 6 weeks ago, because I worked out what he is and finally accepted he will NEVER change! I'm so happy now that I have my life back.
It's been 3 weeks for me
Stay strong...
its been 3 months now for nc. time to get free although still hurts very bad
Woohoo 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Thank you all for kindness and support. I hope we've all managed to reduce our exposure to narcs. For me, it's now almost 5 months since I beat the narc at his own game, discarded HIM after 30years , have remained no contact and couldn't be happier about it...
An interesting Post Script is that, quite predictably, last month he tried to get a reaction from me by threatening to undertake a very petty, childish and baseless legal action against me....
No contact and complete silence was my reaction. No contact works for everything they may try.
It absolutely IS easy to go No Contact once they hoover you into more emotional garbage, “miss you’s” and “non negotiables”, which is exactly what I just unfortunately went through about a month or so ago. She’s already slept with a handful of people only weeks after we broke up, so that speaks volumes. These scumbags can never be alone, not even for 5 minutes. I changed my number last week for good, so thankfully that demon in human form can’t try to screw with me ever again.
It’s freaky how similar your experience is to my ex narc gf. She stalked and hounded me for four months and voicemails of how I was the only one for her, “it’s you it’s always been you” and her undying love for me. She later slipped up in her lies and admitted she had slept with several guys during that time. I’ve changed my number two weeks ago and in full contact and now she is back to the “miss you so much” emails that go to junk folder. To think she is 31 years old. Was two years on and off of pathological lying and abuse. 2024 is a fresh start for me. I’m glad you got through this too.
@@northernsegageorge6510 My man, my ex Narc literally said multiple times to me “It’s always been you.” throughout our relationship. 🤯 We have experienced, more or less, almost the exact same behaviors used upon us from these manipulative scumbags. Lol. Just goes to show how most narcs read from, and use, the exact same playbook. It’s disgusting. I hope that 2024 brings the both of us crystal clear vision as to who we consciously allow into our lives, wether a friendship or relationship. I’m not out of the woods yet, but hopefully I can free myself sooner rather than later from the ex narcs energetic mind traps. God helps us, my dude. 💪
I have (had) a close friend that I’ve known for well over a decade, he was always funny with a provocating edge but charming. To this day, I know no one else that was as sexually promiscious as him, however finally found someone to settle down with. It lasted for a couple of years and they had a child, one day out of the blue they broke up and the very same day he went and picked up another girl (!) I asked him if that wasn’t a bit extreme, considering how long they’ve been together, but he had zero qualms and instead asked me how long he was supposed to wait? (!!) At that time I was not familiar with narcissist disorder, I just always considered him emotionally cold and superfocused on his (mainly superficial) goals. One thing that specially strikes me now is that he always had this sort of dead gaze. His son inherited the same eyes. Last I heard he was going to get married to his new gf, but just before he threathened her to “GTFO if she didn’t like what he was providing”, of course she folded and I managed to distance myself from them altogether. Another thing which I found odd in retrospect is that during all that time, he had absolutely no other real friends, all his acquaintances were my friends to begin with (that I now realise were gatewayed under my cover of approval)
@@northernsegageorge6510what’s funny about narcissists is once you realize how they operate they’re becoming boring and predictable because they all do the same shit in patterns and cycles. Know one of them, know them alll
Will NEVER EVER engage with him again, I at the stage that DON'T FEEL ANYTHING towards him, years out and live in PEACE.
NO CONTACT - is not conditional. Unless you prefer to ignore the LESSON...choose wisely folks!
They are just mean spirited and story tellers ❤ 😊
The concept of “doing nothing as revenge” involves using inaction as a way to regain control and assert power in a situation where someone has wronged you. This approach emphasizes self-restraint and emotional control, turning the focus inward rather than outward.
That was a perfect ending to this video; it is not the victim's responsibility to give the narc a solution to a problem they created.
Exactly. The problem asking what the problem is. So delusional.
Its been 6 months of no contact and it has been great
“It’s not easy going no contact with a narcissist”
It was for me lol I don’t want to see them
When being discarded, step on the gas, and look straight forward. Don't look back or into the rear view mirror! 😂❤😊
They gave you a gift that will keep on giving back to them. That's your SILENCE coming through loud and clear that they're insignificant to you. It crushes their self inflated ego into the ground and allows you to heal. 😊❤😊
It really is insane. He sent the cops to my house yesterday under the guise of some “emergency”. Nope. Not gonna ruin my Christmas.
crazy shit....
Oh no, that is crazy.
OMG 😳
It’s okay. The same thing happened to Marjorie Green. :)
Should have called them in him LOL !
At a certain age it does not matter what others perceive of u.❤
👏👏👏
Staying no contact is the best thing for you and the worst thing for them. Perfectly said thanks Joe. I’m now doing well in my healing/no contact journey and will continue to do so forever more!
I did give it to him. He begged and pleaded...told me i was the love of his life..sent me roses...songs ...video clips of good times together...asked to come live by me,be my neighbor ect. ect.ect. all the while i was sharing my excitement about my new move, my wonderful christmas,my new friends, my peace,joy,my growth in my relationship w/God and in my faith 😊 i think he tollerated it as long as he could until it became unbearable and he realized that ive healed and ive learned of his illness and his incapability to do healthy and to go where ive gone and am going still. He is now silent/retreated and so am /have i. Its the best possible scenario in comparison to the countless false starts and abrupt endings. It feels peaceful😊 God has been gracious.
Joe, this is so true. He lurked and heat tested and then finally gave it a real effort (5 years post discard)…three months after I got married to another. I now believe he was seeing if he could get me to break up my new marriage as a 4th of July type finale of abuse. How delusional!
I would like to see a video on how the narcissist gets a fear of getting old.
This video is exact, straight to the core. After 20 years, I wish I would have seen these 19 years ago
"If you get weird feelings that they might be observing you, at least intensely thinking about you, sometimes our bodies can pick up when someone is intensely thinking about us, working out how to get into our lives again."
Yes. I experience that as the puppetmaster probing spiritual defences to see if he can send his puppet back to you again to finish the job. Have to let him know there's no way back and cultivate an adamant will regarding that.
I left my relationship of 11 years with a covert narcissist 4 years ago and have remained in No Contact. Lately, I have been feeling her negative energy around me and couldn't understand why this was happening. Several weeks ago I was shocked by an email from her requesting that we "connect " again using a social media platform used for employees connections and networking. I did not respond to her request. This explains why I suddenly was experiencing thoughts about her eventhough my life was going fine without her in it. I'm still getting her vibes now but not to the point of ruminating about the past and quickly dismiss those feelings when they arise. I'm hoping she will move on so my life can get back to normal again and I stop receiving her energy in my thoughts.
I pray those demons stay out.
@@Bob-zh6dw Thank you Bob. I believe just as with plowing and sowing good seeds, so does the enemy plow to sow bad seeds. First came the energy. Then came the message. Do not place your hopes on what she will or will not do, for every false expectation is a little defeat and weakens us. Instead brace yourself for battle. And the best way to prevent war is by having a strong military (or personal defense). The enemy only attacks a weak position. It is a sad thing that people put us in the position of having to go no contact as the only form of love that remains after exhausting other options. But when that line is crossed, that's what it has to be. That's the good lesson we can teach them. They will never have even the remotest chance of learning, if we give in. I watched Blade Runner II with the person I used to be with. Dekkard says, "Sometimes to love, you have to love from afar." I felt the strongest premonition hearing that. And it turned out to be true. No contact is a form of love, unselfish love. You are telling the person that their "god" is not as strong as yours, and that he has lied to them making them think they could get you back at any time. All the best.
Yes you do those feelings will pass in time.
@@Bob-zh6dw 11 years. Damn. I only did 3 years. AND it felt like 10 years. LOOKING back. That's the Fog they put you in. 😮
I know he made a mess of his life, as many do.
Narcs are nuts.
Funny 😂Make a T-Shirt😊..lol
She’s not getting back in my life. She walked out to go be with her ex from 15 years ago for money and status, so I’ll let her have all that. There’s no reentries into this amusement park. The door is slammed, bolted and welded shut. She had her chance.
I went no contact before I understood what that term meant. Months later, I wondered what she was up to, but I realized she blocked me. I hadn't noticed. More months passed and she unblocked me and began liking my posts- the few she could see where I tagged mutual friends. When I saw that, I blocked her, and she remains permanently blocked. When they look back and find they're still blocked, does each unsuccessful peek cause a narcissistic injury? I hope so.
maybe when the tears stop i can think straight
They will hang in there. You will get strong. Just keep reminding yourself for now all he/she has done. All that nasty manipulation. Remind yourself you don’t wanna live that again. Don’t forget they are big liars!!!
I’m in the same boat. You’re not alone. I was discarded a few weeks ago and I am broken. I miss him. I inexplicably want him back even though I know damn well his level of narcissism was bordering on abusive. Why do I want him back? He’s so bad for me. I keep hoping he’ll Hoover me but he hasn’t. Makes me feel unloveable.
@@KP-tn9cq you are lovable tho
I noticed the narc person spending my block a day before Christmas. Staying no contact is absolutely the best for me, and it will stay in force.
I hope they get their Karma from their own kind preferably.
They get their Karma everyday. They don't want to be like this. Imagine having to attach oxygen cylinders to your body everyday. Their supply is like oxygen to us. They need to attach and keep finding people to play this game...
I disagree they are self aware, especially as an adult, so I don't feel sorry for people who are purposely evil to others, and playing dumb mind games.. Alot of narcs are sadistic, if they don't change their bad ways then they deserve double Karma. Their pain should not be elevated over their victims.
Once they have a new person for their self esteem drip, it’s likely they aren’t even thinking about you and they want you to stay away, unless they are triangulating. Until that person doesn’t show up or they start to have doubts. If you hear from them again they are trying to regulate their emotions and get an ego hit through you. Most likely they are not remembering or appreciating you as a person if they contact you again. Remember how fast they forgot about you when they split you black? They also sometimes come back to test if they made the right decision or not and validate for themselves that they are right to not be with you. But they may act as if they are interested and care about you again. Be careful and don’t be an open book. They’re just assessing you hierarchically to see if their new self esteem drip is better or not. Or for an ego hit to boost themselves up or to enjoy seeing you down (both will do). It’s gross. Narcs are totally eff that! They try on people’s lives, take what they like, and then dump their heavy dark garbage on you while pointing and telling you how terrible you are. Confusion is a huge sign re what you are dealing with. And later deep loathing and anger. You must take care of yourself and stay the heck away from them or they will infect you. I’m totally serious. You can start to become just like them from the damage they can do. Especially if your childhood had some missing nurturance, creating a high tolerance for red flags. Like a really healthy person does not care what the narc is thinking when you go no contact. A healthy person is just like, thank you God! And, oh hell no, see ya! But a lot of times the brain will keep trying to reconcile what has happened and who this person was. And a lot of times it might really bother someone that a lot of it doesn’t make sense and you want to see them as the nice person you knew, but can’t. A lot of times even though angry, you don’t want to add to an already disordered person’s issues or get further tangled in them. The grief can be complicated grief.
I kicked out my narcissist and talked to her parents directly, they sympathized with me and helped me straighten her out. she's currently 6 months sober and working a hard job, I still talk to my ex but she's having a rough time after I took all my offerings.
Door slam 😤😤The end! Sorry’friend’ 🦾🦾🙏
Just what I needed to hear. Thank you!
Her regulation is not my obligation
My new fav narc channel
👊
I agree 💯 when the student is ready the teacher will appear 🤗
Was just out pulling weeds and listening to my favorite Joe..you hit on every thing in every video,and I just want to say thank you for who you are, your knowledge and wisdom. You have helped me so much..I really do listen and appreciate you. Thank you
Thank you for sharing this!!!! I really appreciate and need the support on this topic !! 🕊❤️🙏
Tall stories. Built on lies. Leave your head spinning.
I have watched all your videos all the way through and they are very very helpful. I really appreciate the clarity plus you have a very nice voice, it is very calming I agree with another listener on that. Thank you ❤
i always think carefully of anything new im going to do now [such as a job change,joining a club etc ] because these ghouls can derail your plans even yrs after no contact ,they lurk in the shadows
This is hands down my favorite video you've ever made. I find myself coming back to it often, but today it felt extra special. After over a year of no contact, I received a hoover. He texted me a simple, "I miss you," but I have zero interest in his attempts to re-idealize me. Watching this video right after that was incredibly eye-opening. I've learned so much from your channel, and I want to thank you for your time and wisdom. You've made a lasting impact on my life. Here's to a lifetime of no contact. Cheers! 🥳✨🥳
Hey i love your style and production....i almost started to interject and talk to you! Had to stop myself 😂 its so chilled and like being with a kind and clever friend
Nice one bro.
Thank you 🏆🇬🇧
You are now my favorite narcissist mentor! I love the pictures as we learn. Very clever presentation and view.
Best revenge ever 😂
1st peace bro n staying nc aint been hard for me lifes been getting better almost immediately lol im good love the vids king
I hope it affects him. He's just about all I can think about. It's just shocking how heartless and cruel eomeone can be... and to think that I let him in. And I still miss him so bad.
I was the same way.....truly hurting but knowing I have to stay no contact. Now (6 years later), I am cleared of the trauma bond and getting back to my goals. Feels wonderful. Hang in there and I promise, it will get better and then wonderful. Hugs.
It took a lot but I went from limerant obsession in the beginning, to cool indifference with a splash of dislike.
This part is so hard, I need to leave and I feel so stupid for staying knowing he will do it again, but he is my everything, and I have nothing to show for it but painful hurtful days, almost all of them🥺😭
@@stephaniemarshall6788 I would have stayed, too, but he discarded me. I understand completely.
@@DeshaunExitRealty How long did it take you to reach this point?
Good morning ! 🌞 having a cup of joe☕☕ with Joe and watching his new video makes perfect morning ! Thank you Joe , great video !🤗❤
Thank you!! Enjoy your day!! ❤😊
excellent content, subscribed
Thankyou Joe. Yet another enlightening video🙏🏻❤️
The phrase. " value swich " is exactly it once you understand the affliction. Does it occur in the disordereds mind ? Maybe for a length of time, an manipulative skills evaluation, but its just onto the next, if available. . Is narcissistic decompensation and mortification real once this once accomplished charlatan of narc skills ages and molds. Absolutely. But the real and only concern is if the "value switch" has occured in self. Excellent vlog.
She texted me after a few weeks of no contact, and claimed that my mortgage lender was trying to get a hold of her but that doesn’t make any sense. Since I bought my house 8 years before we met
🤣
Great video! Thank you for this insight!
I've been no-contact for a year and how he has aged! Is it me or him who has changed? Do it--go no contact---and you will see him differently
Love your videos thank you
Thank you for your kind and useful advises I really enjoyed watching your video. ❤❤❤
:)
Joey your content is amazing ❤
I see my ex narcissist weekly at the gym. I walked away from her. I went no contact. It’s been 14 months she sees me weekly. I’ve heard through the grapevine that she seen my social media as I’m with the younger prettier women we do not look at each other speak to each other, Complete indifference to one another at the gym she knows I’m glowing up. My life has gotten vastly better without her so I really question just how, devastating this is to her and narcissist when we go no contact
NO CONTACT LIKE A BOSS 💪👍‼️
My narc boyfriend discarded me three days before Christmas. Why hasn’t he tried to Hoover me yet? I know it’s time to move on but if I’m being honest it would give me strength if he tried to Hoover me. It would feel like vindication.
He's busy getting supply with the new one until he gets bored. When Narky gets bored he'll be back around...
He did it to me so i just kept it going
The Jezebel and Leviathan spirit torment the narcissist!
Who was the first narcissist?
satan!
When I go no contact he gives me mind games. Horrible ones. If I say hi every month or 2 I'm good. What are your thoughts? I can fight him but it isn't fun. I did it for 5 months once. But I don't think about him anymore. He's not on my mind and I literally don't care anymore. Enough is enough.
I'm never going back or down that rabbit hole again. I've been there twice and it's no picnic.
Thanks!
Joe is different from but I think better than HG Tudor because Joe isn’t blathering on about Harry & Meghan
I always tell my husband... You don't like me when he hoovers you got what you wanted your new boo and got what you needed me out the picture hello goodbye
How does it affect them if they have another supply or always had one. When she contracted me I think it was made up to get me to get me to beg her to come back
Can you discuss narcissism in friends? Dealing with narcissists friends
Educate AND dedicate. Take your power back.
Disappear only way to be happy ❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Been no.contact for nearly a year. First time I haven't wished him.merry Xmas. We have no mutual friends. I was always suspicious of him. Blocked him everywhere. Yesterday.i saw his name on Facebook and clicked on it..he's made another page..sent a Christma😅 to
😅everyone..signed😮the narcissist. Lol
I blocked it..
Is there any help for narcissists dealing with break ups? Most everything I see is for the people the narcissist has hurt.
Yes, despite the damage they cause, their life is truly more difficult than ours will ever be. I pity them all!
What if they have a new supply they are happy with? Won't they just stop caring about no contact?
No
They will never truly be happy with anyone as they are soulless and miserable them selves. ❤
@@kaoshi_kutie I wonder... is it always the case... maybe I just wasn't "worth it" to him. My nex is supposedly in love and happy with new supply. He abused me for years and then accused ME of being a covert narcissist and abusing him because of my trauma responses to what he has been doing to me.... after a few years I would start to dissociate and forget who I am whenever we had open communication as my body couldn't handle it anymore.
Negative NO couldn't believe till it happened (Hoovered) eight years later 😮
The narc I deal with has a “model” for a girlfriend as the new supply and he still sends me his scam “business” emails (it goes to spam) and I receive unknown phone calls literally every week from unknown phone numbers that intuitively believe are from him as this didn’t happen to me after going no contact about 4 years ago.
It’s an unwanted “fan” for life. They Hoover you even if they or you are married. They don’t have respect for boundaries.
So do they actually learn anything from it??
All this worldly (secular) psychological advise to the victim of a narcissist is futile! The only thing that will help the victim is to search God out, and surrender your life totally to Him. That is what will help you move on and return back to your normal life! Take it from someone that knows this and has return to God and can attest to this! ✝️
What if they have a new supply does it still effect them
He sent his last mast blaming text a month ago. We broke up 5 weeks ago or so. Nothing since. Crickets. No hoover. Nothing. Seems like he’s happy he moved on and probably found supply elsewhere. He also gets major supply from smoking meth. Getting high. Wondering if he wil Hoover at some point but I shamed him pretty bad. Publicly as well. Crazy how these people act.
Found out my ex was using meth as well. I guarantee you his usage increased after you shamed him to mask his pain. If you saw him now, you'd be like wtf happened to you?! He'll hoover at some point.
Yes I heard he went hard with it after he bailed on me. Just don’t think he could keep up the act to be with me. I’m not sure he will Hoover. He is not very confident and a drug addict that was shamed by me so unlikely but I guess anything can happen.
Unfortunately, it will happen.
He has disappeared. Can’t see him coming back now. But if he does I’ll update you guys! Lol
So just a few days ago he drove slowly past my bar I work at and made sure I saw him. He played my favorite song on the juke box he always used to play me before he did this. Then drove by. Then nothing. I didn’t react.
Isn't a narcissist ,,,,is crazy already,,😮 your critic ❓🤔🧐 just more of it like Kraft dinner if we were a millionaire 😁
CRAZY making Long cold games.
Yes NPD is mental illness
Even if its been 17 years?
Why r they so cool calm n don’t care but they are ducks
Your to much of a coward to try me on round two! Your done playing RR
Going no contact was easy for me. Grieving a lie was the hardest part. I literally felt like I was slowly dying. I’m fine now though, I laugh and cringe now 🫣😂