The only thing they fear is 1: us knowing who they are. And realising the truth. That some people are toxic/evil at their core. And never change 2: That we will get a « instrumental view» of them. And implementing « no contact regime». That is zero contact in real life, delete all contact with them on social media, block on the phone, hang up if they call ( stopp careing why they are calling, even if they claim to be suicidal or treats). The gradual elemination of the twin fantasys of revenge or of forgiveness ( hope). That is viewing them with total indifference. Zero emotions. And viewing the past with realism, not nostalgia fantasy A total exorcism!. This is how the victim takes 100% of the power back
@@jennifergraham5615 It`s like doing a " decluttering" of your life. Declutter the toxic people, and your own toxic habits. Look at your life with a microscope. Why are you drawn to these people? ( trauma, anxiety, boredom, lack of personal boundarys, lack of awareness of red flags). This is your most important task in life!. To settle the score, and reconnect with your "autentic self". The self that is there when the distractions are gone. It`s hard work, but you can do it!
The only thing they fear is you cutting off whatever supply you fed them with. Short of this they could care less. Call them a cluster B. They don’t care. See how they’ll call you one right back. They don’t care is .. they don’t care as long as they are sucking what they want from you ( sex. Money. Time. Attention. Validation. A place. A car. Status ) pick your thing you give them. That’s all they care about. Cut it and see them squirm to the next victim
Good advice, thank you,, he is ghosting me 3rd time within 1 3/4 yrs. , 7th week now, It still hurts, I am still traumabonded I think of him constantly, no physical abuse , but think I don't want him back, feeling so abandoned, I went no contact
It truly amazes me that they are able to manipulate us to the point where there is a total role reversal. We become them and they become us. Until we become aware/ awakened and we realize we are the one’s that always had the power. You are stronger than you think! Joe has taught us so much! Thank you❤
That is the whole point of the « Darvo gaslighting». To reverse the role of narcissist and victim. To make the victim doubt their own sanity. This is also the reason why many victims have doubts if they are the narcissist. This is the trauma created by the gaslighting. The gaslighting is highly dangerous/toxic. The victim needs a « gasmask» for protection 1: no contact 2: education on the topic of narcissism and codependency dissorder 3: therapy to handle trauma, ptsd The damage can last for years. And most victims never learns. They get hooverd back into the narcissist. Beeing fooled by a new scam ( the i have changed scam», « i regret scam», « soul mate mask/scam». Narcissist is just a kind word for psychopat
@@RandallGlatt It`s more like they see the victims love with a feeling of disgust, and contempt. That is they look at people who are able to feel love and empathy for them as " sucker" and as inferior. Not deserving respect, care, or love. I once heard a narcissist talking with disgust/contempt about people with listening skills as " listeners". That empathic trait, that is so important to healthy relationships. This is also how they look at people who are able to love. As separat from them, and their " divine" presence. In their view only subhumans love, they are a good. That should be worshiped by people with high status ( humans). the victim. that has empathy. and that is able to look at humans as both strong and imperfect at the same time ( the core of empathy), is looked on as a resource ( narcissistic supply) in the same way humans use cows to harvest milk.
@@RandallGlatt They only feel contempt, disgust over people who care for them. They feel they are weak, and then start to exploit them for narcissistic supply. They are just like a machine, only following orders from the narcissism/programming. It`s a " automatic habit".
They lack insight so they do not realise that the reason why they feel good is because of they way they are devaluing you and projecting onto you. Then when you are gone they can’t regulate without you. They got cocky and arrogant.
In fact you never needed them - they needed you. You are very capable (at least I am and I always were)... Just believe in yourself and don´t let you tell you otherwise (from nobody!). I personally always knew that I am good alone too...
Not very true. Being a codependent you very much needed them and will always need a toxic person to try to get the validation or respect or love you never got growing up. Codependency folks and childhood wounding. Go get therapy and educate yourself. Watching videos on toxic people won’t change you but give you your dopamine mind candy for the hour. True healing is painful exploration into the childhood of parts you buried
@@ssing7113 You can be assure I never will need such a person anymore because I educated myself... Sadly I didn´t know better when I was young. I can perfectly live on my own and you can be assured I do much better now.
I am 67 and I must say your content and presentation is phenomenal. Hiwever, I sttrongly believe that the root is simply spiritual...and is unequivocally EVIL.
Narcs are driven by significance. The worst injury to a narc is to be denied significance. So, this is the weapon they use against others. Destroy the victim at the level of self.
He needed the supply you gave him ( the feeling of beeing needed). When you ran out of supply ( after beeing depressed, mentaly drained from the neglect, abuse), the narcissist moves on to a new victim. Now is the time to implement the " no contact". totaly delte the narcissist from all social media, block on the phone ( hang up if the narc calls from an random number). delete contact with their enablers . trust me he is watching you. And he don`t want you to " move on", but to obsess over him forever
Your explanation from the narc perspective gave me a different dimension to view and grasp the manipulation thought process of the narc. Thank you, it helped. They are very cruel and deceptive to say the least.
They suffer in silence and that’s a good trick pulled. The narcissists I knew were all trying to see if there was something wrong with me but I had life under control. They projected themselves on me and later because there were so many around doing that I stopped everything to see what was going on. Anyhow reviewed my life but what really helped was knowing the narcissists and not fall for the trap. That in turn helped build my character up more instead of feeling like I had to make my presence and with some people I felt like I had just a wooden shield of protection. I knew they were projecting but that shield gets warn down over time. Plus that feeling of needing to be loyal was my worst enemy.
only self-forgiveness for me...the ex knows IT is getting older, doing everything IT can to fight that off & that aging is the scariest thing for IT. they do themselves in.
It is said that the narsisist feels old when we run out of energy. And thats true. I started feeling depleted and he looked old😲😳 I think it was the enteties inside him that showed themselves. He actually looked like a old man and not that beautiful man I fell for in the beginning😲😲😲😲
@@namutebimadinah7229 yeah he will definitly get old. Im working myself out of the darkness he put me in. I still feel like Im dying with all the negativity he put on me. I forgive him but I do not want anything to do with him ever again.
@@namutebimadinah7229 but I do guess that after he was with me he had alot of supplies cause he looked so beautiful the last months I was with him. He looked like a completely different man. I was very in love with him also but I needed to block him to move on with my life.
In a previous video you stated (about the N’s thinking of others) “They were dependent on me. They needed me”. I realized some time ago that one family member felt this way about me. Rather, about an “avatar” of me they created in their mind. For decades I’d turned to them for advice & support, feeling they were the ONLY family member who cared for me. What a shock when things turned positive for me & their behavior towards me changed. I SO much still wanted them in my life! To share in my happiness! But I now understand that in my happiness they no longer felt “needed”! I was constantly belittled & criticized for absurd things. I had to go NC & grieve a relationship that never existed. It felt almost like a death.
Idk if they are a narcissist or not. I do know that my family of origin is quite dysfunctional and there are certain “roles” we are not supposed to step out of. All hell breaks loose if people dare to step out their “assigned roles”. It served me better to step out not only of my role but entirely out. Not in anger. But to exist as myself.
I love your video's ❤. They help me no end! It's my Birthday today and my new life starts. Seperating myself from a narc Mother and (still) escaping from another narc partner. However my 58th Birthday will be the beginning of loving myself for a change and setting those boundaries that I let others cross (far too often)! Such a wake up call last year, unbelievable..... Now I can at last heal❤🎉🥂. Greetings from Germany😊
The only way to effectively leave the narcissist and move on is to have an epiphany about why you we're ever attracted to them in the first place. Without this self introspection and learning that you have to reparent and reprogram your subconscious with unconditional self love and care, you'll always be drawn into the narcissistic's web of deceit and the lies of their gaslighting you into submission so they can feed off of your energy. It's a very spiritual concept, but if you don't identify with the term, then just understand it as either positive and negative energy as those terms are interchangeable. 😊❤
Witnessing the paradoxical nature of a narcissistic personality is akin to observing a storm that simultaneously craves attention and demands obedience, leaving chaos in its wake.
Ginger was a sister that I deleted out of my life. There was so many questionable things happening throughout my life. After years and years of abuse, lies and things that happened but I couldn't figure out. I finally got the puzzle pieces put together and realized She was bad bad news. After 10 years of not talking to her or hanging with her, I am so very happy. I only have myself to answer to. I love my true honest and loving friends. They are the true friends that I want to keep in my heart forever
I have listened to dozens and dozens of You Tubers talk on this subject. I have not quite nailed down what it is about you, your channel, your content; but I know that it resonates. Your voice is calm, almost perfectly smooth. Perhaps I would not have understood what you're on about in the beginning of my journey but I just subscribed even though I know that it's time for me to move on, that I've learned all there is to learn, that listening to people talk about this simply makes me live in the past. I think it's wisdom I am hearing. My fantasy of revenge is largely gone, this is deeper. I was meant to have these experiences, to learn from them, and I have. Just when I thought I was an expert, that there was nothing else to learn, I am learning and will till I pass. Thank you for your content, you are good at what you do.
The thing is: I never needed him. Because I learned to be independent very early in age. A relationship shouldn´t be about needing or using someone - because that is not love. You want to be with someone - that should be all. In my case I am not proud of me either because I always knew my lazyness will hurt me some day (and it did). But I changed my life now and learned from my mistakes. (I know I have very good insight and can reflect very well - narcissists can´t and won´t do that).
No contact is the only thing the narcissist fears. A total deletion of the narcissist and their enablers. That is a permanent blockad of the narcissist and all their enablers/spy`s/servants. 1: No contact in real life 2: No contact online/social media 3: no contact on the phone/text 4: no contact on email 5: Never talk about them again except online in the commounity or with a trusted therapist Wipe the narcissist totaly out of your life and memorie. Then learn " self-care skills" ( to put your own health first) and " self-respect skills" ( the abillity to set firm boundarys and say a clear NO, with zero explainations/excuses) . That is how you get victory and how you take control of your life. If you are under 18 years old, and if it`s not possible. Then try to limith your contact with the narcissist to as little as possible and don`t play their games ( you can`t win). Start planning the " no contact" by saveing money to be independent
Good morning ! 🌤 My favorite time of the day, having a cup of joe ☕☕ with Joe ! We were shocked too by dealing with a such evil creature , still shocked ! Good video Joe , a long one too 😊. Thank you ! 🤗❤
Codependents are actually the same as well Joe. Well think we are above the cluster B. We know better. When in reality we are as screwed up as them in different ways ( seeking validation for things not got in childhood. Self sacrifice for “love” and approval. Manipulation to get our way and wants. Cohesive control to place them where we want them to be. Uses guilt to try to change them. Doing things s to try and get in return…. )
ALL empaths MUST exercise your God-given right and power to walk away from the toxic people in your life.... Preserve your quality of life and protect your peace in order to heal.
6:24 last night i listened to so many video's that has open my eyes all though im in pain i have to heal its a must i have lost me and i cry cause i love me..i have a separate phone for my narc and today i see a massage from him but im not engageing ....i need time to heal i will try to just ignore my second phone...no fb no messenger i am shutting it all off.
Try to strong ..at first I missed him but when I remember his mistreat to me ...never to call him again just time wastage...am building my self and children
You lose yourself so badly you barely remember who you were. Go back to your childhood where your family lifted you up and you were very competitive in sports that will help those that have those memories.
If you had such a wonderful family you wouldn’t have attracted or ever accepted a topic person into your life. . Therapy will unveil all.. codependency and childhood wounding. Tell them someone told you to show up with this and all will be known soon enough
My ex narcissist got $165,000 from her dad’s untimely passing the first thing she said was f!!k you I don’t need you anymore I said cool you can move out of my house! She was thinking because I had a house that I needed her and I was going to beg her to come back SHE WAS WRONG I moved on now she’s pissed 3 years later no contact don’t want nothing to do with that trash! And now she’s broke and isn’t working obsessively thinking about me and my girlfriend how do I know??? Because she was begging my girlfriend to move outta my house and the crazy thing is my woman doesn’t know her from a hole in the wall when they see you don’t need them nut jobs and you ain’t chasing there goofy ass all around town they get in their feelings and say oh wow he never cared about me! So he played me oh he gotta pay that mental illness puts them on another level of jealousy envy and bitterness please believe me!!!!
I like your channel Joe! You have a nice way of putting things I’m tired of other channels and hearing the term “new supply” it’s triggering and it makes me sick hearing about a replacement. You speak the same language but with different words! I appreciate it!
I just want you to know that these videos are so helpful I was in a relationship will marriage for 23 years and he was a narcissist and of an abuser in any way you can think of and I by the grace of God I have put myself out of that and have them for 6 years
It's funny that you said 2 months. I'm on a break from my narc 2 weeks. We have been off and on for 8 yrs. She has come back multiple times 2 months to the day. And she talked me back to get back with her
Narcissists put their victims in a cycle. Off/On, break-ups for no reason, when they are alone again they will Love Bomb you to get back in the relationship. When you realize it is never going to change or get better, you will end it.
Joe help me understand this, I was with my ex narc 2 years, discarded by text on my birthday, no contact for a year, didn't even see her for a year, she showed up at my children's school angrily lashed out at me, I didn't say a word, she beat me in my head I didn't fight back I won't hit a woman, she threatened to blow my brains out, then left, I pressed charges filed a restraining order, why would she do this? She says she's happily in a new relationship, so why? What do I expect now with a restraining order and charges filed for assault? Why after a year?
You are trying to find meaning in a disordered person. Maybe she felt she had a reason, maybe she was paranoid, maybe she wanted a reaction from you. At the end of the day you'll drive yourself crazy trying to understand. It's chaos for the sake of chaos and to keep you confused and unbalanced. Now you're questioning if you've done something to cause a reaction when she was the one who did you wrong. See how that works?
@TheShitArtist What I can't figure out is why after a years time with me not bothering her, and with her always posting how happy she is on Facebook, also posting pics with her new guy saying how happy she is, why would she go out of her way to hurt me if she's so happy? I deleted all my social media's, but friends and family make sure I see so why would someone so "happy" do this?
@@ncfire51 you've answered your own question dude. a happy person wouldn't go out of their way to hurt you after they've moved on. i don't know the situation or her personally but she might feel entitled to some sort of emotional response from you. or feel rejected by your lack of response. people are complicated even if they're not narcissists.
@TheShitArtist that was my exact thoughts exactly!! Her new guy has the same job as me that she always wanted me to quit because it was a "dangerous" job, he's just alot younger than i am
She was trying to get a reaction. Before and after she wanted you destroyed to discard you on your birthday. She hadn't forgotten now seeks revenge how dare you think your more superior and powerful than her..
Like a very naughty child, a brat who knows they can run a muck and the parents will always love them no matter what . In my experience thats how it felt but i am not their parents, sympathy to parents of narcissist children.
They don't value the possesion they think they own and feel the possession is owning them, thus the possession doesn't value them either. Of course. You talk about these people like they really have a clinical description. Is this true. ?
You never need someone if that is what you base your relationship on it's a bad relationship. Two individuals coming together not the bullsh.t you complete me crap.
Don't forget to check out my other Channel!! :)
m.th-cam.com/users/results?sp=mAEA&search_query=chillin+with+joe
Done 😉 and I will listen in soon🙂thx!
The only thing they fear is
1: us knowing who they are. And realising the truth. That some people are toxic/evil at their core. And never change
2: That we will get a « instrumental view» of them. And implementing « no contact regime». That is zero contact in real life, delete all contact with them on social media, block on the phone, hang up if they call ( stopp careing why they are calling, even if they claim to be suicidal or treats). The gradual elemination of the twin fantasys of revenge or of forgiveness ( hope).
That is viewing them with total indifference. Zero emotions. And viewing the past with realism, not nostalgia fantasy
A total exorcism!.
This is how the victim takes 100% of the power back
@@jennifergraham5615 It`s like doing a " decluttering" of your life. Declutter the toxic people, and your own toxic habits. Look at your life with a microscope. Why are you drawn to these people? ( trauma, anxiety, boredom, lack of personal boundarys, lack of awareness of red flags). This is your most important task in life!. To settle the score, and reconnect with your "autentic self". The self that is there when the distractions are gone. It`s hard work, but you can do it!
The only thing they fear is you cutting off whatever supply you fed them with. Short of this they could care less.
Call them a cluster B. They don’t care. See how they’ll call you one right back. They don’t care is .. they don’t care as long as they are sucking what they want from you ( sex. Money. Time. Attention. Validation. A place. A car. Status ) pick your thing you give them. That’s all they care about. Cut it and see them squirm to the next victim
Good advice, thank you,, he is ghosting me 3rd time within 1 3/4 yrs. , 7th week now, It still hurts, I am still traumabonded I think of him constantly, no physical abuse , but think I don't want him back, feeling so abandoned, I went no contact
@@ritapeters1330 stay no contact! Going through the same
@@frankbustoz4051thank you ❤ . still at no contact ..11th week
It truly amazes me that they are able to manipulate us to the point where there is a total role reversal. We become them and they become us. Until we become aware/ awakened and we realize we are the one’s that always had the power. You are stronger than you think! Joe has taught us so much! Thank you❤
👍👍👍
That is the whole point of the « Darvo gaslighting». To reverse the role of narcissist and victim.
To make the victim doubt their own sanity.
This is also the reason why many victims have doubts if they are the narcissist. This is the trauma created by the gaslighting.
The gaslighting is highly dangerous/toxic.
The victim needs a « gasmask» for protection
1: no contact
2: education on the topic of narcissism and codependency dissorder
3: therapy to handle trauma, ptsd
The damage can last for years. And most victims never learns. They get hooverd back into the narcissist. Beeing fooled by a new scam ( the i have changed scam», « i regret scam», « soul mate mask/scam».
Narcissist is just a kind word for psychopat
What she really lost was LOVE.
The most wonderful powerful thing one can truly have
They could care less about love. Sorry but some people need a reality check. They never cared about you but what you supplied them…
How can someone experience Love if they don't have empathy. They hated you for loving them...
@@RandallGlatt It`s more like they see the victims love with a feeling of disgust, and contempt. That is they look at people who are able to feel love and empathy for them as " sucker" and as inferior. Not deserving respect, care, or love.
I once heard a narcissist talking with disgust/contempt about people with listening skills as " listeners". That empathic trait, that is so important to healthy relationships. This is also how they look at people who are able to love. As separat from them, and their " divine" presence. In their view only subhumans love, they are a good. That should be worshiped by people with high status ( humans).
the victim. that has empathy. and that is able to look at humans as both strong and imperfect at the same time ( the core of empathy), is looked on as a resource ( narcissistic supply) in the same way humans use cows to harvest milk.
@@RandallGlatt They only feel contempt, disgust over people who care for them. They feel they are weak, and then start to exploit them for narcissistic supply. They are just like a machine, only following orders from the narcissism/programming. It`s a " automatic habit".
The most wonderful, powerful thing that one can truly have is love/compassion for oneself
💛🤗✌️
They lack insight so they do not realise that the reason why they feel good is because of they way they are devaluing you and projecting onto you. Then when you are gone they can’t regulate without you. They got cocky and arrogant.
In fact you never needed them - they needed you. You are very capable (at least I am and I always were)... Just believe in yourself and don´t let you tell you otherwise (from nobody!). I personally always knew that I am good alone too...
👏👏👏
Not very true. Being a codependent you very much needed them and will always need a toxic person to try to get the validation or respect or love you never got growing up.
Codependency folks and childhood wounding. Go get therapy and educate yourself. Watching videos on toxic people won’t change you but give you your dopamine mind candy for the hour. True healing is painful exploration into the childhood of parts you buried
@@ssing7113 You can be assure I never will need such a person anymore because I educated myself... Sadly I didn´t know better when I was young. I can perfectly live on my own and you can be assured I do much better now.
I am 67 and I must say your content and presentation is phenomenal. Hiwever, I sttrongly believe that the root is simply spiritual...and is unequivocally EVIL.
Narcs are driven by significance. The worst injury to a narc is to be denied significance. So, this is the weapon they use against others. Destroy the victim at the level of self.
I never ever need him! He needed me! I just wanted him.
He told me he didnt needed me. Well I certainly do not need him anymore the way he treated me.
He needed the supply you gave him ( the feeling of beeing needed). When you ran out of supply ( after beeing depressed, mentaly drained from the neglect, abuse), the narcissist moves on to a new victim.
Now is the time to implement the " no contact". totaly delte the narcissist from all social media, block on the phone ( hang up if the narc calls from an random number). delete contact with their enablers .
trust me he is watching you. And he don`t want you to " move on", but to obsess over him forever
@@Ikaros23🙌🏽🙌🏽🙏🏾🙏🏾
I have always thought that the narcissist treats others as they were treated in childhood. It goes much more deeper than that!
Your explanation from the narc perspective gave me a different dimension to view and grasp the manipulation thought process of the narc. Thank you, it helped. They are very cruel and deceptive to say the least.
The Cluster B… a vicarious existence lost in a shadow in an illusion. The ultimate magician and The Contrarian!
👍👍👍
They suffer in silence and that’s a good trick pulled.
The narcissists I knew were all trying to see if there was something wrong with me but I had life under control.
They projected themselves on me and later because there were so many around doing that I stopped everything to see what was going on.
Anyhow reviewed my life but what really helped was knowing the narcissists and not fall for the trap.
That in turn helped build my character up more instead of feeling like I had to make my presence and with some people I felt like I had just a wooden shield of protection.
I knew they were projecting but that shield gets warn down over time. Plus that feeling of needing to be loyal was my worst enemy.
👍👍👍
only self-forgiveness for me...the ex knows IT is getting older, doing everything IT can to fight that off & that aging is the scariest thing for IT. they do themselves in.
It is said that the narsisist feels old when we run out of energy. And thats true. I started feeling depleted and he looked old😲😳 I think it was the enteties inside him that showed themselves. He actually looked like a old man and not that beautiful man I fell for in the beginning😲😲😲😲
You're good supply ...let him get old ...they don't know who care for them
@@namutebimadinah7229 yeah he will definitly get old. Im working myself out of the darkness he put me in. I still feel like Im dying with all the negativity he put on me. I forgive him but I do not want anything to do with him ever again.
@@namutebimadinah7229 but I do guess that after he was with me he had alot of supplies cause he looked so beautiful the last months I was with him. He looked like a completely different man. I was very in love with him also but I needed to block him to move on with my life.
Excellent observation, good to see that I am not alone in that observation
In a previous video you stated (about the N’s thinking of others) “They were dependent on me. They needed me”. I realized some time ago that one family member felt this way about me. Rather, about an “avatar” of me they created in their mind. For decades I’d turned to them for advice & support, feeling they were the ONLY family member who cared for me. What a shock when things turned positive for me & their behavior towards me changed. I SO much still wanted them in my life! To share in my happiness! But I now understand that in my happiness they no longer felt “needed”! I was constantly belittled & criticized for absurd things. I had to go NC & grieve a relationship that never existed. It felt almost like a death.
Idk if they are a narcissist or not. I do know that my family of origin is quite dysfunctional and there are certain “roles” we are not supposed to step out of. All hell breaks loose if people dare to step out their “assigned roles”. It served me better to step out not only of my role but entirely out. Not in anger. But to exist as myself.
I love your video's ❤. They help me no end! It's my Birthday today and my new life starts. Seperating myself from a narc Mother and (still) escaping from another narc partner. However my 58th Birthday will be the beginning of loving myself for a change and setting those boundaries that I let others cross (far too often)!
Such a wake up call last year, unbelievable.....
Now I can at last heal❤🎉🥂.
Greetings from Germany😊
I'm in the same boat as you; I wish you all the best Nicola ❤
@@milkxmolasses thx, you too❤
The only way to effectively leave the narcissist and move on is to have an epiphany about why you we're ever attracted to them in the first place. Without this self introspection and learning that you have to reparent and reprogram your subconscious with unconditional self love and care, you'll always be drawn into the narcissistic's web of deceit and the lies of their gaslighting you into submission so they can feed off of your energy. It's a very spiritual concept, but if you don't identify with the term, then just understand it as either positive and negative energy as those terms are interchangeable. 😊❤
Witnessing the paradoxical nature of a narcissistic personality is akin to observing a storm that simultaneously craves attention and demands obedience, leaving chaos in its wake.
Commies
Ginger was a sister that I deleted out of my life. There was so many questionable things happening throughout my life. After years and years of abuse, lies and things that happened but I couldn't figure out. I finally got the puzzle pieces put together and realized She was bad bad news.
After 10 years of not talking to her or hanging with her, I am so very happy. I only have myself to answer to. I love my true honest and loving friends. They are the true friends that I want to keep in my heart forever
I have listened to dozens and dozens of You Tubers talk on this subject. I have not quite nailed down what it is about you, your channel, your content; but I know that it resonates. Your voice is calm, almost perfectly smooth. Perhaps I would not have understood what you're on about in the beginning of my journey but I just subscribed even though I know that it's time for me to move on, that I've learned all there is to learn, that listening to people talk about this simply makes me live in the past. I think it's wisdom I am hearing. My fantasy of revenge is largely gone, this is deeper. I was meant to have these experiences, to learn from them, and I have. Just when I thought I was an expert, that there was nothing else to learn, I am learning and will till I pass. Thank you for your content, you are good at what you do.
This is very true. Worth listening to repeatedly and over time, so not to be forgotten.
Not here,not today.
The thing is: I never needed him. Because I learned to be independent very early in age. A relationship shouldn´t be about needing or using someone - because that is not love. You want to be with someone - that should be all. In my case I am not proud of me either because I always knew my lazyness will hurt me some day (and it did). But I changed my life now and learned from my mistakes. (I know I have very good insight and can reflect very well - narcissists can´t and won´t do that).
Another Excellent Talk. Thank You! Peace To All.
They are shocked because we portrayed weakness
I would love to SHOCK my narc mother! It was/is her favorite thing to do to others.
Shock, trauma and drama 🎭
No contact is the only thing the narcissist fears. A total deletion of the narcissist and their enablers. That is a permanent blockad of the narcissist and all their enablers/spy`s/servants.
1: No contact in real life
2: No contact online/social media
3: no contact on the phone/text
4: no contact on email
5: Never talk about them again except online in the commounity or with a trusted therapist
Wipe the narcissist totaly out of your life and memorie. Then learn " self-care skills" ( to put your own health first) and " self-respect skills" ( the abillity to set firm boundarys and say a clear NO, with zero explainations/excuses) .
That is how you get victory and how you take control of your life. If you are under 18 years old, and if it`s not possible. Then try to limith your contact with the narcissist to as little as possible and don`t play their games ( you can`t win). Start planning the " no contact" by saveing money to be independent
Good morning ! 🌤 My favorite time of the day, having a cup of joe ☕☕ with Joe ! We were shocked too by dealing with a such evil creature , still shocked ! Good video Joe , a long one too 😊. Thank you ! 🤗❤
Codependents are actually the same as well Joe. Well think we are above the cluster B. We know better. When in reality we are as screwed up as them in different ways ( seeking validation for things not got in childhood. Self sacrifice for “love” and approval. Manipulation to get our way and wants. Cohesive control to place them where we want them to be. Uses guilt to try to change them. Doing things s to try and get in return…. )
great work you're doing thank you Joe x
Best channel ever Jo. Greetings from Australia 🇦🇺
ALL empaths MUST exercise your God-given right and power to walk away from the toxic people in your life....
Preserve your quality of life and protect your peace in order to heal.
6:24 last night i listened to so many video's that has open my eyes all though im in pain i have to heal its a must i have lost me and i cry cause i love me..i have a separate phone for my narc and today i see a massage from him but im not engageing ....i need time to heal i will try to just ignore my second phone...no fb no messenger i am shutting it all off.
Try to strong ..at first I missed him but when I remember his mistreat to me ...never to call him again just time wastage...am building my self and children
You lose yourself so badly you barely remember who you were. Go back to your childhood where your family lifted you up and you were very competitive in sports that will help those that have those memories.
If you had such a wonderful family you wouldn’t have attracted or ever accepted a topic person into your life. .
Therapy will unveil all.. codependency and childhood wounding. Tell them someone told you to show up with this and all will be known soon enough
@@ssing7113 back at ya🤡👈🏻
@@ssing7113 opinions are people with assholes, everyone has one. I’m sure your just saying that to mask your BS.👈🏻
@@ssing7113 or you one of those “TYPES” that like to lift yourself up while bringing people down.🤡👈🏻
Lol that's where my nightmare began n then married a narc n at 51 my now wife explained.63 now n LIFE IS NOW BEAUTIFUL ❤️
My ex narcissist got $165,000 from her dad’s untimely passing the first thing she said was f!!k you I don’t need you anymore I said cool you can move out of my house! She was thinking because I had a house that I needed her and I was going to beg her to come back SHE WAS WRONG I moved on now she’s pissed 3 years later no contact don’t want nothing to do with that trash! And now she’s broke and isn’t working obsessively thinking about me and my girlfriend how do I know??? Because she was begging my girlfriend to move outta my house and the crazy thing is my woman doesn’t know her from a hole in the wall when they see you don’t need them nut jobs and you ain’t chasing there goofy ass all around town they get in their feelings and say oh wow he never cared about me! So he played me oh he gotta pay that mental illness puts them on another level of jealousy envy and bitterness please believe me!!!!
He told me I needed him. I really did like him, but I don't think he ever really liked me. 😢
I like your channel Joe!
You have a nice way of putting things I’m tired of other channels and hearing the term “new supply” it’s triggering and it makes me sick hearing about a replacement. You speak the same language but with different words!
I appreciate it!
I just want you to know that these videos are so helpful I was in a relationship will marriage for 23 years and he was a narcissist and of an abuser in any way you can think of and I by the grace of God I have put myself out of that and have them for 6 years
Peace bro good video
This is a really insightful one Joe!🔥🔥Excellent perspective.👌
You are welcome 🔥
Ty 🕊️✨🙏🪽🫶💥
Great content Joe💜thank you
It's funny that you said 2 months. I'm on a break from my narc 2 weeks. We have been off and on for 8 yrs. She has come back multiple times 2 months to the day. And she talked me back to get back with her
Narcissists put their victims in a cycle. Off/On, break-ups for no reason, when they are alone again they will Love Bomb you to get back in the relationship. When you realize it is never going to change or get better, you will end it.
They are off sleeping with other people period disgusting
Joe help me understand this, I was with my ex narc 2 years, discarded by text on my birthday, no contact for a year, didn't even see her for a year, she showed up at my children's school angrily lashed out at me, I didn't say a word, she beat me in my head I didn't fight back I won't hit a woman, she threatened to blow my brains out, then left, I pressed charges filed a restraining order, why would she do this? She says she's happily in a new relationship, so why? What do I expect now with a restraining order and charges filed for assault? Why after a year?
You are trying to find meaning in a disordered person. Maybe she felt she had a reason, maybe she was paranoid, maybe she wanted a reaction from you. At the end of the day you'll drive yourself crazy trying to understand. It's chaos for the sake of chaos and to keep you confused and unbalanced. Now you're questioning if you've done something to cause a reaction when she was the one who did you wrong. See how that works?
@TheShitArtist What I can't figure out is why after a years time with me not bothering her, and with her always posting how happy she is on Facebook, also posting pics with her new guy saying how happy she is, why would she go out of her way to hurt me if she's so happy? I deleted all my social media's, but friends and family make sure I see so why would someone so "happy" do this?
@@ncfire51 you've answered your own question dude. a happy person wouldn't go out of their way to hurt you after they've moved on. i don't know the situation or her personally but she might feel entitled to some sort of emotional response from you. or feel rejected by your lack of response. people are complicated even if they're not narcissists.
@TheShitArtist that was my exact thoughts exactly!! Her new guy has the same job as me that she always wanted me to quit because it was a "dangerous" job, he's just alot younger than i am
She was trying to get a reaction. Before and after she wanted you destroyed to discard you on your birthday. She hadn't forgotten now seeks revenge how dare you think your more superior and powerful than her..
Like a very naughty child, a brat who knows they can run a muck and the parents will always love them no matter what . In my experience thats how it felt but i am not their parents, sympathy to parents of narcissist children.
Oh yeah there shocked when we say fuck you! TOO!
That's a big reaction that boosts Narky. How about just leave and don't say anything. Leave Narky confused...
🌻❤
They don't value the possesion they think they own and feel the possession is owning them, thus the possession doesn't value them either. Of course. You talk about these people like they really have a clinical description. Is this true. ?
You never need someone if that is what you base your relationship on it's a bad relationship. Two individuals coming together not the bullsh.t you complete me crap.