Thank God I found this website, after 32 years of marriage feeling left out, lonely, sad, rejected, unloved, you name it. I don't want a divorce but have decided while I'm still in good health and active to enjoy my children and grandchildren, travel, smile and have fun. If he doesn't want to join me that's ok, I simply cannot live this life with him anymore. I choose to be happy instead of right. Good luck to all of the wives out there who thought our husbands were weird and uncaring. (side note, his own grandson didn't recognize him in a picture at his baseball finals, his response was "oh well", because he doesn't engage.) Thank you Mark, soon I will be joining your online counseling for wives.
I felt guilty for being happy around my ex so I consciously tried to act more sullen. Eventually I stopped talking unless absolutely necessary as to avoid confrontation. Still, I left after 35 years due to stress and physically not feeling well.
NT woman almost sounds exactly how we most feel - “ empty” due to our basic emotions not being met by our ASD partner. As you said they go into solitude and we have only our friends and family as our partners are emotionally detached from our emotional needs. This has lead me to feel empty and hollow inside as I was HIS listening ears and support… but all I get are generic and emotionless responses.
@@markhutten do you do any therapy sessions one on one? Or email or anything. I have some questions I'd like to ask you. I'm trying to hold my marriage together but I'm burned out and starved for interaction.
17.40 : spot on 👍. If only my husband would listen to you I am sure we would communicate much better. He had another meltdown 36 hours ago over a small thing regarding one of our 2 cats (she got in the way when he moved over the kitchen). He lifted his foot towards the little animal, I yelled NO (forgetting all I’d learned from your advice - though I ‘think’ he wouldn’t actually have kicked her) and he had this massive meltdown. That, as I said, was 36 hours ago and he refuses to speak to me at all and refuses to acknowledge my suggestions about meals (preferring to make himself sandwiches) … he’s even moved to another bedroom and has spent the daytime, as usual, in his Den on his computer. I’ve learned to give him space and to give us ‘time out’ but it’s a very lonely place and I just wonder how long it will be. This isn’t at all the first time this has happened over the past 22 years but I just want it to stop.
OMGoooodness...The first man speaking is ON POINT 💯. My hus shuts down and seeks solitude. He hasn't been diagnosed with Asbergers but he definitely fit the disorder. I seek support from others.
Basically neurotypical and neurodivergent people have different expectations in a relationship, which lead to conflicts. It is like trying to mix oil and water. For this reason, neurodivergent people are better suited to each other for relationships.
Very good mark what you said about the asd man needing time along because of over stimulation and the Nero person needing emotional relief❤but mark I kind of believe that suggestion is for any relationship couples as human being. We as people get kind of worn out from just life at times and have to be deregulated. Other wise to some pleasureable moments. We all at times need others to talk with. We can not act like are partners our the only people in the world. That can sometimes be too much to carry all the time. We need hobbies, vacations, sports good music and just plain nature😂
She needs to know how to destress the nt woman. And he needs to try to find somewhat he trust to do that . I believe people can learn on any level even if there up in age. I guess we as people need to come down to there understander development age. I think that's apart of learning to love. We as people at some point in our life did not develop the way we could have❤ love and hugs to you mark for your wisdom., Believe it or not all can use this advice
Asperger’s, PTSD and ADHD 34 years old diagnosis- would love to talk to someone who knows what they’re talking about but haven’t found any better information than your channel yet. Thank you
If she didn't care about you, she would just walk away instead of putting energy and effort into trying to shape the relationship into something she can stay in
@Tim. She's nagging because she may be starving for affection?? The only way she can express it is nagging and hoping you catch on. However, nagging is definitely not the way. Been there 😞
Thank God I found this website, after 32 years of marriage feeling left out, lonely, sad, rejected, unloved, you name it. I don't want a divorce but have decided while I'm still in good health and active to enjoy my children and grandchildren, travel, smile and have fun. If he doesn't want to join me that's ok, I simply cannot live this life with him anymore. I choose to be happy instead of right. Good luck to all of the wives out there who thought our husbands were weird and uncaring. (side note, his own grandson didn't recognize him in a picture at his baseball finals, his response was "oh well", because he doesn't engage.) Thank you Mark, soon I will be joining your online counseling for wives.
Good for you. I do the same.
I felt guilty for being happy around my ex so I consciously tried to act more sullen. Eventually I stopped talking unless absolutely necessary as to avoid confrontation. Still, I left after 35 years due to stress and physically not feeling well.
NT woman almost sounds exactly how we most feel - “ empty” due to our basic emotions not being met by our ASD partner. As you said they go into solitude and we have only our friends and family as our partners are emotionally detached from our emotional needs. This has lead me to feel empty and hollow inside as I was HIS listening ears and support… but all I get are generic and emotionless responses.
I cant thank you enough for this information. I had no idea what was going on in my marriage...until now.
You are so welcome
@@markhutten do you do any therapy sessions one on one? Or email or anything. I have some questions I'd like to ask you. I'm trying to hold my marriage together but I'm burned out and starved for interaction.
@@caramelfrappuccino234 I have groups...
17.40 : spot on 👍. If only my husband would listen to you I am sure we would communicate much better. He had another meltdown 36 hours ago over a small thing regarding one of our 2 cats (she got in the way when he moved over the kitchen). He lifted his foot towards the little animal, I yelled NO (forgetting all I’d learned from your advice - though I ‘think’ he wouldn’t actually have kicked her) and he had this massive meltdown. That, as I said, was 36 hours ago and he refuses to speak to me at all and refuses to acknowledge my suggestions about meals (preferring to make himself sandwiches) … he’s even moved to another bedroom and has spent the daytime, as usual, in his Den on his computer. I’ve learned to give him space and to give us ‘time out’ but it’s a very lonely place and I just wonder how long it will be. This isn’t at all the first time this has happened over the past 22 years but I just want it to stop.
OMGoooodness...The first man speaking is ON POINT 💯. My hus shuts down and seeks solitude. He hasn't been diagnosed with Asbergers but he definitely fit the disorder. I seek support from others.
Basically neurotypical and neurodivergent people have different expectations in a relationship, which lead to conflicts. It is like trying to mix oil and water. For this reason, neurodivergent people are better suited to each other for relationships.
our physical intimacy disappeared overnight and I don't know why. That was 1999. Nothing since. I left in 2020.
Very good mark what you said about the asd man needing time along because of over stimulation and the Nero person needing emotional relief❤but mark I kind of believe that suggestion is for any relationship couples as human being. We as people get kind of worn out from just life at times and have to be deregulated. Other wise to some pleasureable moments. We all at times need others to talk with. We can not act like are partners our the only people in the world. That can sometimes be too much to carry all the time. We need hobbies, vacations, sports good music and just plain nature😂
She needs to know how to destress the nt woman. And he needs to try to find somewhat he trust to do that . I believe people can learn on any level even if there up in age. I guess we as people need to come down to there understander development age. I think that's apart of learning to love. We as people at some point in our life did not develop the way we could have❤ love and hugs to you mark for your wisdom., Believe it or not all can use this advice
Asperger’s, PTSD and ADHD 34 years old diagnosis- would love to talk to someone who knows what they’re talking about but haven’t found any better information than your channel yet. Thank you
Thank you arokiingaming8847....
Yep 👍 I agree and’have to stop that addiction. Ego addiction. Squash!!!!!😢😮😅😊😂❤❤❤
YES. 1:00 to 1:24 is what I'm going through now.
were there ever any needs being met??
What about cases where the NT partner abruptly cuts off all channels of intimacy and communication, not the ASD one?
That suggests the NT partner is stuck in resentment.
Is there a book you would recommend for the NT women? Thanks!
www.livingwithaspergerspartner.com/
💙🥲💙
She’s ‘nagging’ because she cares about me?! That’s confusing.
Depends on what she's nagging you about.
If she didn't care about you, she would just walk away instead of putting energy and effort into trying to shape the relationship into something she can stay in
People don’t “nag” for their own enjoyment. It’s an action they would much rather not have to employ
You said it perfectly right there-she’s trying to shape the relationship into something she can stay in. Excellent and correct.
@Tim. She's nagging because she may be starving for affection?? The only way she can express it is nagging and hoping you catch on. However, nagging is definitely not the way. Been there 😞