@Kay Brown. Thank you for the encouragement. I needed to hear that. I've been praying for God to send me a Godly man who will love and accept me for me.
Exactly am sick of that you say you want a relationship and what do alot of men do show you their d__k or say something sexual when you literally just started talking if they want s_x pay for it with a hooker Dont use me like that !! Where are the decent men I have been si gle 7 yrs & men are using online dating to just have s_x am sick of it I enjoy s_x but want with someone I care for and vice versa I am talking older men here as I am older lady these men so immature why dont they grow up ugh
Because women went vocal and told the world that women want your bag. They went vocal and said they use men for free food, got them saved for rent, light bill, groceries, car note, liquor, drugs and have no interest in them. Soooo, men are visual. Women use that to attract men, men want to hit to see if there is any true potential.
Don't test me because I am going to fail MISERABLY every time. I don't have time for the games. If your car is poor I'm going to assume that YOU are bad with money. If you "forget" your wallet I am going to assume that you are irresponsible. No wallet , no ID (learned this in high school). If you show up looking like a "bum" and I put effort into the date I am going to view you as a low effort/unambitious man. Not saying that I would be accurate but I don't have time to find out. I can stay home and be at peace. My patience are already thin when it comes to games, so I am better off single if these are the games that's going on right now. Come as yourself or leave me out of your mess.
One time a guy picked me up and his car was so messy. He had a box of tissues on the passenger side and all these documents on the floor. I picked them up and threw them in the back seat. When I turned around it was an even bigger mess. Ski equipment (it wasn’t even winter), books, paperwork, paper towels. It was so gross. I feel like it’s disrespectful if you’re picking a girl up at least organize your car. I’d be embarrassed to show up like that. Imagine I dressed up in some sweatpants, a hole in my t-shirt, muddy shoes, stinky breath. It’s disrespectful to the person who put in the time, energy and effort into getting ready
Aren’t you glad you found out how he was right away though? If someone presents themselves exactly as they are, then you know what your getting and not waste so much time. I think it’s the people who pretended to be something they are not that are such a waste of time.
If a man tries going Dutch with me that’s his first and last date with me. To me if a man has me reaching for my purse on a date that’s like him publicly humiliating me. I don’t need someone with a bag but I do need a gentleman. To me going Dutch doesn’t equal a gentleman.
@UCZw47NIFbb7z7w2dBzy1laA for me I wouldn’t mention it but that’s just because the man wouldn’t hear from me again. I used to work grocery and this one time a female was arguing with a man when he insisted on paying. I told her to let him pay for the groceries she felt that mentioning he was her brother would change my mind. I still say let him pay. To me it shows that even though that is her brother he is still a gentleman paying for his sisters or their groceries.
@@DivinaDiosa3845 It's way more common to see women jumping in to help another woman in distress especially when it comes to food. I've even seen female cashiers paying from their pocket when customers are short on money.
This is why you should have multiple conversations before agreeing to go on a first date. You have to be vigilant with your listening skills bc they will tell you who they are. Detach yourself from the outcome and look at as practice 💅🏾
This is precisely why I do not accept any invitations to go out with someone whom I’ve met online. I almost always end up being the one to suggest we talk over the phone first and go from there.
It's social media. It wasn't this complicated before. I don't mind someone testing someone, if that's normally what they do. However, people are doing all these tests and extra things that wouldn't normally do, because they are seeing what others are doing and saying on social media.
I agree. The games, lies, tests, all this isn't necessary! Just show up and be who you are so people know exactly what they are getting. It is not that hard! Smh
I think as a woman of Integrity we deserve a gentleman. And if a man is going to try and test a women out, it’s because their lack of self esteem. - us woman are worthy of a great gentleman in all the extension of the definition.
Not all of us woman are worthy of a good man, just as not all men are worthy of a good woman. You can’t lump everyone together. Just because one has a vagina, does not 1.) a good woman make, nor 2.) make one worthy of jack!
Some men try to make the woman jealous to see how she acts. I went through that. It was hurtful the way he did it. But I remained a lady. We were not dating, he was my crush at church. I forgave after I realized what he was doing. The following Sunday, all eyes were back on me. But I still pray for him. I think you can do a longer video on this topic. Huggs
It’s so said especially as a independent pretty successful woman to have to deal with games! I don’t understand why you just can’t be your authentic self.
Sadly, games are the only thing that men are interested in. NEVER, EVER believe a man who claims he doesn’t like games or drama. This is a big time indicator that HE ENJOYS PLAYING GAMES AND ALSO CREATES DRAMA just to blame it all on the woman!
I can definitely see how these tests can back-fire with men. :) It's always best to be real and present the real version of yourself, not be a counterfeit. :)
What you put out, you attract. Be genuine, be kind, practice discernment and get that in return… the games are a waste of time and reflect underlying trust issues that the person has not healed from. Maybe instead of testing other people, they should self reflect and see what they are doing to constantly attract those types of people.
Not true whatsoever! You will attract ALL TYPES of men no matter how high your “vibes” are or how much you think you’re good at LOA (which is complete BS, btw).
Attraction requires a deep introspection. A person with a good heart will sometimes attract players, but your good heart will not allow them to be comfortable in your space. Also being true to “you” will give you the wisdom, strength & courage to kindly walk away from them with grace. 😊
Stephan, I'm a 51 year old woman. I'm sorry, but these are NOT tests, they're games! I'm in a relationship, but he didn't "test" me to see if I was playing games. We're both too old for that. I believe that whoever you are or are pretending to be will eventually show up. You can't hide the counterfeit but for so long. Time is a story teller! God bless!
Be warned ladies. Men that do this are childish. It goes nowhere and these ridiculous antics will never stop throughout the course of the relationship. He’s not looking for genuine ways for you to win. It’s only satisfying to him when you fail the “test” so he can psych himself out of doing right by you. Couple that with he’s definitely seeing multiple women at the same time and just confused. Besides that it’s selfish and he’s not in a space to learn anything about you and who you are. And he’s just unintelligent.
You are so right . My ex is childish and emotional damage and afraid of commitment knew him for 26 yrs ! Came back in my life just to test me I see now he ask for sexy pictures of me I was against it but he pressure me he know how I felt about him so I did it . Ikr silly ! Anyway we slept together 3 days we had words and he gone blocked me on everything ! I'm so hurt . He was just looking for a reason to say she ain't no different from any other girl ! And he knows me well he just one of those men that look for reason to dog you . Sorry this long but I'm hurting we just broke up .
@@patriciahetherington1709 please continue to heal, and block him. There was absolutely no reason for you to go back to him. There’s no reason for you to go backwards. Continue to look forward and build yourself up
How's this man gonna feel if a woman shows up on a date with the same kind of a car and dresses up looking unattractive , will he still go on a second date with her? , There's so many ways to get to know someone instead of being an imposter to test someone.
This guy did that to me. Had old pictures of himself when he was active in the gym and dressed nice. Showed up overweight in a t-shirt.😭 He better be glad I was going to be nice and go along with the date. Paid $20 for Uber to get out there. He seemed nice and was very gentlemanly but I didn’t like being tricked like that. And you can tell he was super nervous when walking up, probably thought I was gonna get up and leave. That’s just not the way to advertise yourself to people.
New to dating here 🙋🏻♀️ I did not know this was a thing: Men asking you for money ❗️ and my answer to that is always a swift, hell to the nah 😩 one dude I had recently gone on only one date with (and he didn't even pay for my meal) asked a couple days later if he could borrow 20 dollars... when I told him no, he blocked me the next morning.
Watch Chloe on TH-cam, she’ll give you the whole run down on “Dusty” men. I have only two grown children, a man who would ask me for money has no self respect, would get a disgusted look and an absolutely f’in NO from me and a “Loose my number!”
I agree. First off, I don’t mind going dutch, unless he made it clear that he’s paying. I want to order what i want to order without feeling restricted or limited. I’m not going to assume that at the end of the date he’ll pay or if he’s got a specific budget he needs or wants to stick to😂. If we go dutch he’ll know what to expect if there’s a next time. Mom taught us well. Never go anywhere without cab fare, identification, more than enough money for an emergency, someone else besides yourself knowing where you’re going and with whom, and clean underclothes, because anything can happen. Second, don’t show up to pick me up in your WORSE car. One thing I don’t do is go out with someone I don’t know. I got to get to know that person first. So I’m going to already know what to expect before we go anywhere. I’m going to know, first and last name and possible mutual family members, what he’s driving, and where he’s from…the basics are a must because people come up missing all the time. There needs to be a good explanation as to why he’s driving a backup car or I’m going to think he thinks less of me…😳 Sir we’re taking my car, you can park your 🚙 in my garage 😭 Then the “I left my wallet at home,” line doesn’t work these days. I bet he didn’t leave his cellphone at home. Because the ♐️Saggi in me might just reply “That’s cool just CashApp me.”😒and whip out my phones real quick. That’s ONLY if I’m not feeling him… if I am feeing him I’ll reply, “Its cool I got this one you got the next one.” 😉 If we don’t go out again cool. No biggie. If we go out again and he pulls that I know it’s him….I won’t go out with him again and I’m ONLY paying my portion because at this point he’s definitely a bum. I’d rather give to a homeless person than a false person.💯
Good advice. However, I believe on the first date, he should pay, unless you asked him out first, then you should pay. My ex scammed me all the way around. I discovered and upon discovery, reported, giving actual, undeniable hard evidence that my ex was already stealing my identity and committing massive frauds, using my stolen identity, with my birth family and many others, before he ever asked me out on the first date in 1984!! He then proceeded to commit Marriage Fraud Against Me in one State and Divorce Fraud Against Me in another State (per a District Attorney), illegally take our children from me, force me into bankruptcy, left me homeless, completely and totally broke, and much worse. To make matters worse, he is STILL EMPLOYED at the US Government today, despite committing multiple crimes and felonies against me personally and against the United States of America. He even committed Federal Employment Fraud, illegally obtaining his security clearances and Federal Employment Status, using all fraudulent information about himself, confirmed as actual fact by multiple Non-Corrupt Federal/State and Local Agencies. I didn't know such evil existed!! I am still, to this very day, being denied my Rights, without legal justification and/or cause, while he and his many criminal co-conspirators are out living their best lives, using money they obtained from stealing my identity and committing massive frauds, using my stolen identity, without a care in the world. Special Note: For over 42 years, they have been stealing my identity and committing massive frauds, using my stolen identity, as confirmed as actual fact, in writing, by multiple Non-Corrupt Federal/State and Local Authorities. They have the money. They have the assets. They have my children (now adults). I don't and I never have, very easily provable in any non-corrupt Court of Law and/or Hearing. It's only slander if I can't prove it, so you can be sure, I can prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, what I have said here. He and his many criminal co-conspirators have also tried to have me murdered, multiple times, throughout the years. I discovered and reported, upon discovery, giving actual evidence, at least $2 million life insurance policies taken out on me that I didn't even know about. Very scary!!!
@@virginiahart4480 Oh my goodness. My heart and prayers are with you. Something similar happened to a loved one of mine, and like you we’re still feeling the aftermath…I wouldn’t wish this on anyone…. Times like this we’ve got to be strong and seek out organizations that assist and fight against matters such as these. And letting it go too far only drags you deeper down their rabbit hole. I found out first hand. And yes there are people all around us with bad intentions. It may not start off that way, but once someone gets to know you and everything about you, your whole world seems exposed once you’ve parted ways.
@@virginiahart4480 Oh yeah, I’m old school, I believe the man should pay on the first date as well. 💯 From the pickup in the beat up car to the end of the date I’m checking for etiquettes, mannerism, attentiveness, etc. So while he’s testing me I’m already observing him….
The car experiment is interesting to me. I have a 2001 Honda CRV with 277,000 miles on it. I get compliments from men all of the time because I take care of my car (and everything that I own).
So here's my take on the subject of finance. Yes, I get that money is a part of any person basic need, & it does answer all things. However, a real, healthy, productive relationship has to have balance in every aspect. Emotionally, physically & mentally. It has to be all encompassing. A man can choose a woman who can meet his every financial desire, & still not be asset to him because of her character & lifestyle. It just depends on what he values the most in his person.
My ex took every dollar from me! I felt I had no control! I always had to ask him for something! I hated that! I was just talking to my therapist of 9 years, yesterday and she said she was proud of me for not going back to my ex! It was 8 years of hell, control! I got out I 2018 and never looked back! I am proud of myself!🙌🏽 I thank GOD today that I know I deserve better! Though I need working on, not to accept any kind of financial help because that’s the trap the of devil! I need to focus on GOD more and then I can focus on improving my finances and get out of the situation I’m in!🙏🏽
Great advice, no one should get burned if they stay true to themselves and what they desire in a relationship. Pay close attention to that inner voice that rarely leads us astray!
This matters what point of life a person is in. If they’re 23 driving a hoopty that’s one thing different from a 50 y/o in a beat up car. I’m not going Dutch, if it’s that bad, you’re not ready to court a woman, so beat it.
I agree to an extent. I'm 50 and drive a beater. She's old and not pretty but gets great mileage and runs like a champ. Don't let that sway tho bc I've got a great job and money in the bank. I'm old school with the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". I don't need to impress. I'm content and blessed, I know my worth, don't need to flaunt I'm past all that. If you wanna judge me by my lil Bessie, you're probably too superficial to be wasting my time. ✌
I love how balanced all of your conversations and advice are. you are pretty much the only dating advice person i can watch and respect because you actually possess the intelligence needed to see both perspectives within a dating dynamic. i know a lot of men talk about how they no longer have role models for what being a "real man" is, but i truly think that you are an incredible role model in this area. also thank you for acknowledging that it makes perfect sense for women to look at men's possessions as an indication of how they take care of themselves and their environment. so frustrating to be painted as gold diggers/shallow, when we just want to make sure that men can do basic chores and pay basic bills, just like most women do themselves.
Yes, the test of money came up with a partner who came back around years later who stated he wanted to see how far we could go this time. I could sense when he asked for money (monthly) that it was becoming a habit of use the 3rd time. I told him I didn't have it available the 4th time. Sure enough he copped an attitude and stopped contacting me. I'm glad it didn't go on for years. The sad thing is he worked 2 jobs and retired from the military and still needed to use a woman. Who can imagine how many great women he messed up with. I'm grateful it showed early on.
Omg I ran into someone just like this. He kept mentioning money and then finally tried asking me for a “loan”. I told him I didn’t have it, he fell off quickly. Bullet dodged.
I went on a date with a guy who paid for the meal and then said he didn’t have cash for a tip and didn’t want to use his card. I gave him the cash for a tip. After that, it was always a different excuse and he even eventually said he didn’t believe in tipping. The last straw (with that) was when he left without tipping the waitress and I didn’t like that so I went to the ATM to get cash for a tip and went back to the restaurant to tip her. I don’t feel like he should have expected me to pay the tip each time, but even if he did he should have communicated that and let me decide instead of coming with all the games and excuses.
U dont feel like chipping in a "tiny bit" for the tip each time...u sound low valued.............u didnt "gave" him cash for the tip...tips r for the waiter....u helped out a small 15% of both of your bill and u also ate the food! Next time always bring cash so u dont have to struggle to run to the ATM......He left u and dont see a future with u since u have problem with coveringg a small portion...........jeesh.
@@alicia_nicole And did! I was not about to deal with that. You’re right. He was just being cheap and I’m not even sure if this other person commenting is a masculine woman or a feminine man 😂.
I have been out with alot of men exactly like this ... they will not tip. I started bringing cash to all dates to avoid the humiliation of leaving and not tipping. Especially if it's a restaurant I go to alone. In my opinion not tipping let's me know they are CHEAP and will be cheap with later on in other areas. I generally will go ahead and tip generously $10 on a $50 check etc.. that way I contribute something and it goes to the waitress without coming from his pocket.
It’s surprising to me that men with that type of intellect or lack thereof have gained any kind of success in their life. They are absolutely sabotaging and walking away with no real results. It’s a fools game. A man that would test a woman does not walk in his masculine nor does he have wisdom to properly lead a woman.
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her.
its always difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation my wife for 12 years left me, i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back.
@@haynesatteh4463 her name SHELLY RENEE WHITE, you can look her up online, she is the best spiritual adviser she helped out in such a difficult situation.
This was gold: definitely could have used this info back in 2016 LoL nevertheless, lesson learned 🙏🏽 thank GOD for protecting me because I still dodged a bullet.
Men who "hide" their money, wants to go out on a date. I go dutch. Only to find out, he can afford his own luxury goods. Is he being cheap? Or enjoys making a woman pay? 🇸🇬
When a man "tests" me Then, I say "bye". I even had a man get snarky with me on a FIRST online conversation. When I called him out on the behavior, he said "I'm testing you". I don't have the time or patience for that crap. Be who you are and be REAL because eventually it will come out in the end anyway.
He is absolutely correct be your true self we give a false representation and then when we switch up, that’s actually worse. This gave me great advice on moving forward in the future. If I ever go on a date again.I will I’m not giving up.
I love what you said about the money issue, I don't really think there is something wrong liking when a man does have it, I think it still reflects things and even if not. What is wrong with that. People match what they desire. End of story. Every single person wants different stuff. If he thinks that way it also might be a low self esteem that he actually needs a proof or if he was right, I mean we are humans money also reflect hierarchy, so at this point in life why not.
I've purposely initiated dutch and paying entirely on an outing to insinuate we are just associates lol. I never want to lead a man on unintentionally. No games need to be played. Just be grown!
Life is series of tests and I've had my fair share, and definitely up for a challenge. I feel like the ascended masters are watching me. I hope all is well with you, and that your okay.❣
I met a man who kept texting me “man I’m hungry. I got a taste for some…” and it was always something fancy like asparagus with steak etc 😂 he did that like three times I kept texting back “dang u bout to eat good whenever u go get ur self something to eat.” 😂😂😂 I knew what he was up to. He was broke always bringing pb n j to work and he saw how I dressed so he definitely tried it! SMH dodged that bullet !
I am usually turned off when a man I just met is giving me the Man Resume, telling me in some supposedly backhanded way that he is a super catch. It's not as if I don't know he is trying to impress me. I probably won't appreciate this reverse trickery either. No trust. It is manipulative. I prefer to figure out on my own if a man is good or not by how he treats me, how I feel when I am with him and it will take some time before I figure it out. It would be really nice to think a guy is just regular, not fancy but basically good and kind and decide that I like him. If a guy is trying to show off, how do I know if I like him or not since abundance also looks like security. I don't want to be confused.
That’s so crazy. To want a successful man doesn’t make you a gold digger. Success says a lot about the personality and drive in a man… not just about money.
This speaks to me more because of my political leanings. I'm not interested in all that lavish stuff; it's very against my morals. It's not that I don't enjoy finer things, sometimes, but if you can live that way all the time, we don't have the same values, most likely. So, if you come to me being down to earth and simple, I'll probably be more into you. If you change up after a while and it turns out your lifestyle is really more lavish, it's going to be a huge turn off and we won't work. I know people say the advice of "be yourself" is bad, but not really. You need to be yourself (the best version of yourself as possible) to attract what's really for you. Acting like someone else isn't sustainable. Observe people in situations that come up, you don't need to play a game and test people. Give it time and people will always show who they are.
Right there with you, I've learned that lesson the hard way! I was the generous one who loaned him money, and I never made a big deal about it. I wish I'd known that he'd never stop testing and pushing that boundary. He banked soooo much money while we were together, meanwhile he asked me to contribute more and more to "our expenses and future." He'd never take no for an answer, even if it was my last $5. Hed just say I should learn how to make more money and be responsible. (I tried being more responsible by not giving him more than my fair share, you can guess how that went over!) 14 years later, I finally left him but I have no money in the bank while he's flying high and claims to have done it all on his own, I didn't help him out at all. NEVER AGAIN!!! A real man will show me that he's the gentleman I want in my life! Now I show up authentically and I make it clear that I'm not interested in games. I expect the same in return. If I feel I'm being tested like that, I'm out the door.
@@magzzzzers preach girl! I second everything u say. Some men will really put u through the ringer and guise it as being a ride or die or true partner. Im good ill be generous with the one who deserves it.
@@Damnsaburna Yes, yes YES!!! We've got this, we strong badass women can be happy our own damn selves until we meet our strong badass counterparts! Being alone is so much more rewarding because I know without a doubt that I'm not the wrong one for me 😉 and I will not be an ATM or a placeholder in someone else's s life either! Looking forward to a new year with only this kind of energy, wishing the same for you Sis!!! 💜💯🔥😘💝
This is so funny because I talked about this on my Tiktok. Bad dates and I am getting bashed because I am left with the impression the guy cannot take care of himself and much more take care of me or our relationship.
Some play games and most can be “read” for what they’re trying to do, what they’re going to do, and what they’re going to say-there are many women who are making more than the men they could date but some of those men can’t handle it.
Test can be a good thing. You can see who a person really is face value. Money matters and yes men and women can both get taken advantage. So I can see why someone would down play how much there financially worth. I am Guilty of doing that! Appearances are are important especially depending on someone’s profession. So many women like men in black ( suits, ties) etc. But seeing a man (when duty calls)in his day to day attire ex: polo and jeans is my preference. I get it you have to get a good a read on a person in all facets of life. Hope I pass his test# Bobbie Simon
That means women should test men also, show up to the date with a track suit, no hair, makeup and nails done. Then we can find out if he really likes us for what's inside.
I don't like the I left my wallet test. I would be mad if someone did that to me. Makes you look irresponsible. BUT for the car, I kinda agree with that one. People's perception of you does change when they find out your profession or income.
I was telling a guy how dirty someones house was the other day. The look on his face told me exactly what he was thinking. His house was probably unacceptable to me. Hes never asked me to his house. Bachelors. yikes!
Life tests you enough. I’ll be damn if I stay around with a lame who constantly tests my character. As a woman who has money myself I don’t want a broke man and there’s nothing wrong with that. Financial freedom is a blessing g on both ends.
If anyone would pull any of that on me, the only thing I’d be certain of is that they’re concerned about themselves to the point that they forgot to connect with me and who I am. So, no no… huge, massive turn off. Ps no, it’s not the same if one has one lifestyle or another, not the same at all. That said you can fall for anyone in spite of their financial status.
In my experience men freak out if you love them for who they are. We are not supposed to be unconditionally loving to our spouses but our children. Boundaries and standards are the healthy things. He thinks you are an idiot and desperate if you accept everything from him.
If I may add, Stephan - women are generally doing well for themselves financially these days than those kinds of men think. The reality we are working with is that women are beginning to appreciate the deeper things beyond money. So those men need to grow up and buckle up, stop testing women based on money that is now accessible to them.
It's weird males think women only want them for their money cuz I don't know any woman driving their boyfriend's car around to pick up other males to cheat w/while their boyfriend is at work and paying all the bills. However, there's plenty of males that use women like that i.e. the movie 'Baby Boy'
Had a guy tell me that the bank was holding his $$ for 48 hours and he didn’t have money for transport or food ….. didn’t ask me directly for me but I felt he was trying to hint it at me 😅 this was after 3 weeks of dating only
Some men can be manipulators. However, there is the belief that men are the head of the household and a woman is his backbone. Successful relationships begin with two individuals having the desire to succeed and win in life.
Getting-to-Know, is notttttt DSS/Social Services. If people can't afford to do it! They shouldn't be taken seriously. Men, wouldn't have to resort to these sadly disappointing test if, preparation and grooming, for quality women, were apart of their relationship goal. Too many of them have a One Sizes Fits All type attitude. Right out of the GATE, trying to secure a body, not a women, at a discount%. Men, as well as women should get back to making a good first impression and CARE, about what they stand for and how others SEE them which has to do with caring about their reputation. Interesting video, thanks Stephan.🙂😔👍
I think that both persons have to be who they are and see if they like each y other end of story. There are many ways to figure out the other person having a few interactions. If I find that someone test me like that I would start to lose trust in that person and think he is unsecure of himself
I dated a man who when we disagree he dump me and then he told he has 3 different business and he has a lot money which i didn't know that part but he was trying me feel like I lost someone worthy it's not all about money it's about character
The best men I know don’t have expensive cars. They have practical cars that are dependable because they have thought long term if a car is a good investment or not.
That car example is like me rubbing a raw fish on my vajayjay and going on the date and then dropping the man because he didn’t respond well to the stench. He should want me for me, not my vajayjay right??😂😆
I have a question... What is it like when a man finds the woman or a woman and want to ask her to marry him? Is it like it is for women exciting scarry
Million Dollar matchmaker on one episode this guy was very well off financially he went on a date and pretended like he was poor, the car he drove the way he dressed , etc.. The lady on the show said that is absolutely ridiculous she told to stop doing it just like he said!! That’s why it’s good to get your information from several different sources and if several people agree, that’s confirmation that they’re RIGHT!
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My Mum always said, "Start off as you mean to continue" so be yourself; don't change for anyone; the right person will be attracted to the real you.
Wise Mum!!
Can I say that I love your mum!
You must change and grow together ❤️ to be healthy
@Kay Brown. Thank you for the encouragement. I needed to hear that. I've been praying for God to send me a Godly man who will love and accept me for me.
Truth
Why are some men so concerned about women who wants their money but those same men just want her body
Because they know they aren’t genuine. They feel everyone has an ulterior motive like them. To the pure, all things are pure and to the impure…
Because there are con artists of both genders. They might want different things. But trying to con never the less.
Exactly am sick of that you say you want a relationship and what do alot of men do show you their d__k or say something sexual when you literally just started talking if they want s_x pay for it with a hooker Dont use me like that !! Where are the decent men I have been si gle 7 yrs & men are using online dating to just have s_x am sick of it I enjoy s_x but want with someone I care for and vice versa I am talking older men here as I am older lady these men so immature why dont they grow up ugh
Because women went vocal and told the world that women want your bag. They went vocal and said they use men for free food, got them saved for rent, light bill, groceries, car note, liquor, drugs and have no interest in them. Soooo, men are visual. Women use that to attract men, men want to hit to see if there is any true potential.
@@LifewithAdeola so true n this is why pure get played most
Don't test me because I am going to fail MISERABLY every time. I don't have time for the games. If your car is poor I'm going to assume that YOU are bad with money. If you "forget" your wallet I am going to assume that you are irresponsible. No wallet , no ID (learned this in high school). If you show up looking like a "bum" and I put effort into the date I am going to view you as a low effort/unambitious man. Not saying that I would be accurate but I don't have time to find out. I can stay home and be at peace. My patience are already thin when it comes to games, so I am better off single if these are the games that's going on right now. Come as yourself or leave me out of your mess.
Preach!!!
No assuming in what they're presenting themselves as. All one can go by is what stands in front of them.
Wow yeah you ain’t playing AT ALL! You said I can stay at home. I feel you. No one wants to play games.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
FACTS !!!! Ain't nobody have time for games ,
One time a guy picked me up and his car was so messy. He had a box of tissues on the passenger side and all these documents on the floor. I picked them up and threw them in the back seat. When I turned around it was an even bigger mess. Ski equipment (it wasn’t even winter), books, paperwork, paper towels. It was so gross. I feel like it’s disrespectful if you’re picking a girl up at least organize your car. I’d be embarrassed to show up like that. Imagine I dressed up in some sweatpants, a hole in my t-shirt, muddy shoes, stinky breath. It’s disrespectful to the person who put in the time, energy and effort into getting ready
Aren’t you glad you found out how he was right away though? If someone presents themselves exactly as they are, then you know what your getting and not waste so much time. I think it’s the people who pretended to be something they are not that are such a waste of time.
I had the same thing happen once
Truth
If a man tries going Dutch with me that’s his first and last date with me. To me if a man has me reaching for my purse on a date that’s like him publicly humiliating me. I don’t need someone with a bag but I do need a gentleman. To me going Dutch doesn’t equal a gentleman.
@UCZw47NIFbb7z7w2dBzy1laA for me I wouldn’t mention it but that’s just because the man wouldn’t hear from me again. I used to work grocery and this one time a female was arguing with a man when he insisted on paying. I told her to let him pay for the groceries she felt that mentioning he was her brother would change my mind. I still say let him pay. To me it shows that even though that is her brother he is still a gentleman paying for his sisters or their groceries.
Agree!
This!! I fully agree. I do not recommend men testing women like this. They will only prove that they lie as well.
On the first date l do think the man should pay, once we are in a relationship l think it’s okay to pay some times or half or at least leave the tip.
@@DivinaDiosa3845 It's way more common to see women jumping in to help another woman in distress especially when it comes to food.
I've even seen female cashiers paying from their pocket when customers are short on money.
When I feel that a man is testing or 'training' me I will do everything exactly opposite just to confuse him.
🤣🤣👏🏾👏🏾
🤣👍
Yesssssss.
I just done that tonight, he's very confused 😅👌
Does he stay or do you keep him after the test. What’s really working
This is why you should have multiple conversations before agreeing to go on a first date. You have to be vigilant with your listening skills bc they will tell you who they are. Detach yourself from the outcome and look at as practice 💅🏾
This is precisely why I do not accept any invitations to go out with someone whom I’ve met online. I almost always end up being the one to suggest we talk over the phone first and go from there.
Why does relationships have to be so complicated smh Lord pray for us singles.
Mannnn I swear!! I told God like, bruh it’s too much! It’s complicated.
Just stay SINGLE
@@trishamccarty3202 you just MIND YOUR BUSINESS
It's social media. It wasn't this complicated before. I don't mind someone testing someone, if that's normally what they do. However, people are doing all these tests and extra things that wouldn't normally do, because they are seeing what others are doing and saying on social media.
I agree. The games, lies, tests, all this isn't necessary! Just show up and be who you are so people know exactly what they are getting. It is not that hard! Smh
I think as a woman of Integrity we deserve a gentleman. And if a man is going to try and test a women out, it’s because their lack of self esteem. - us woman are worthy of a great gentleman in all the extension of the definition.
Not all of us woman are worthy of a good man, just as not all men are worthy of a good woman. You can’t lump everyone together. Just because one has a vagina, does not 1.) a good woman make, nor 2.) make one worthy of jack!
Some men try to make the woman jealous to see how she acts. I went through that. It was hurtful the way he did it. But I remained a lady. We were not dating, he was my crush at church. I forgave after I realized what he was doing. The following Sunday, all eyes were back on me. But I still pray for him. I think you can do a longer video on this topic. Huggs
It’s so said especially as a independent pretty successful woman to have to deal with games! I don’t understand why you just can’t be your authentic self.
You really don't?
Sadly, games are the only thing that men are interested in. NEVER, EVER believe a man who claims he doesn’t like games or drama. This is a big time indicator that HE ENJOYS PLAYING GAMES AND ALSO CREATES DRAMA just to blame it all on the woman!
You can be your authentic self with no games. Then in time you'll meet someone who's real also
I can definitely see how these tests can back-fire with men. :) It's always best to be real and present the real version of yourself, not be a counterfeit. :)
What you put out, you attract. Be genuine, be kind, practice discernment and get that in return… the games are a waste of time and reflect underlying trust issues that the person has not healed from. Maybe instead of testing other people, they should self reflect and see what they are doing to constantly attract those types of people.
Agreed!
Not true
Not true whatsoever! You will attract ALL TYPES of men no matter how high your “vibes” are or how much you think you’re good at LOA (which is complete BS, btw).
I attract hard heads. Hard-headed I am not 😂
Attraction requires a deep introspection. A person with a good heart will sometimes attract players, but your good heart will not allow them to be comfortable in your space. Also being true to “you” will give you the wisdom, strength & courage to kindly walk away from them with grace. 😊
Stephan, I'm a 51 year old woman. I'm sorry, but these are NOT tests, they're games! I'm in a relationship, but he didn't "test" me to see if I was playing games. We're both too old for that. I believe that whoever you are or are pretending to be will eventually show up. You can't hide the counterfeit but for so long. Time is a story teller! God bless!
Be warned ladies. Men that do this are childish. It goes nowhere and these ridiculous antics will never stop throughout the course of the relationship.
He’s not looking for genuine ways for you to win.
It’s only satisfying to him when you fail the “test” so he can psych himself out of doing right by you.
Couple that with he’s definitely seeing multiple women at the same time and just confused.
Besides that it’s selfish and he’s not in a space to learn anything about you and who you are.
And he’s just unintelligent.
So true :)) they learn those stupid tests from their low value buddies. These people def do not have a decent male role model in their lives.
Play stupid games; win stupid prizes.
You are so right . My ex is childish and emotional damage and afraid of commitment knew him for 26 yrs ! Came back in my life just to test me I see now he ask for sexy pictures of me I was against it but he pressure me he know how I felt about him so I did it . Ikr silly ! Anyway we slept together 3 days we had words and he gone blocked me on everything ! I'm so hurt . He was just looking for a reason to say she ain't no different from any other girl ! And he knows me well he just one of those men that look for reason to dog you . Sorry this long but I'm hurting we just broke up .
@@patriciahetherington1709
Wish you well.
Hold out for the right one.
@@patriciahetherington1709 please continue to heal, and block him. There was absolutely no reason for you to go back to him. There’s no reason for you to go backwards. Continue to look forward and build yourself up
How's this man gonna feel if a woman shows up on a date with the same kind of a car and dresses up looking unattractive , will he still go on a second date with her? , There's so many ways to get to know someone instead of being an imposter to test someone.
This guy did that to me. Had old pictures of himself when he was active in the gym and dressed nice. Showed up overweight in a t-shirt.😭 He better be glad I was going to be nice and go along with the date. Paid $20 for Uber to get out there. He seemed nice and was very gentlemanly but I didn’t like being tricked like that. And you can tell he was super nervous when walking up, probably thought I was gonna get up and leave.
That’s just not the way to advertise yourself to people.
New to dating here 🙋🏻♀️ I did not know this was a thing: Men asking you for money ❗️ and my answer to that is always a swift, hell to the nah 😩 one dude I had recently gone on only one date with (and he didn't even pay for my meal) asked a couple days later if he could borrow 20 dollars... when I told him no, he blocked me the next morning.
Well...at least the trash took out itself 😩
Hahaha!! What a loser! You dodged a bullet! 💪🏻
@@dominiquejacksonn 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Watch Chloe on TH-cam, she’ll give you the whole run down on “Dusty” men.
I have only two grown children, a man who would ask me for money has no self respect, would get a disgusted look and an absolutely f’in NO from me and a “Loose my number!”
I agree. First off, I don’t mind going dutch, unless he made it clear that he’s paying. I want to order what i want to order without feeling restricted or limited. I’m not going to assume that at the end of the date he’ll pay or if he’s got a specific budget he needs or wants to stick to😂. If we go dutch he’ll know what to expect if there’s a next time.
Mom taught us well. Never go anywhere without cab fare, identification, more than enough money for an emergency, someone else besides yourself knowing where you’re going and with whom, and clean underclothes, because anything can happen.
Second, don’t show up to pick me up in your WORSE car. One thing I don’t do is go out with someone I don’t know. I got to get to know that person first. So I’m going to already know what to expect before we go anywhere. I’m going to know, first and last name and possible mutual family members, what he’s driving, and where he’s from…the basics are a must because people come up missing all the time.
There needs to be a good explanation as to why he’s driving a backup car or
I’m going to think he thinks less of me…😳 Sir we’re taking my car, you can park your 🚙 in my garage 😭
Then the “I left my wallet at home,” line doesn’t work these days. I bet he didn’t leave his cellphone at home. Because the ♐️Saggi in me might just reply “That’s cool just CashApp me.”😒and whip out my phones real quick. That’s ONLY if I’m not feeling him…
if I am feeing him I’ll reply, “Its cool I got this one you got the next one.”
😉
If we don’t go out again cool. No biggie. If we go out again and he pulls that I know it’s him….I won’t go out with him again and I’m ONLY paying my portion because at this point he’s definitely a bum. I’d rather give to a homeless person than a false person.💯
Good advice. However, I believe on the first date, he should pay, unless you asked him out first, then you should pay.
My ex scammed me all the way around. I discovered and upon discovery, reported, giving actual, undeniable hard evidence that my ex was already stealing my identity and committing massive frauds, using my stolen identity, with my birth family and many others, before he ever asked me out on the first date in 1984!! He then proceeded to commit Marriage Fraud Against Me in one State and Divorce Fraud Against Me in another State (per a District Attorney), illegally take our children from me, force me into bankruptcy, left me homeless, completely and totally broke, and much worse. To make matters worse, he is STILL EMPLOYED at the US Government today, despite committing multiple crimes and felonies against me personally and against the United States of America. He even committed Federal Employment Fraud, illegally obtaining his security clearances and Federal Employment Status, using all fraudulent information about himself, confirmed as actual fact by multiple Non-Corrupt Federal/State and Local Agencies. I didn't know such evil existed!! I am still, to this very day, being denied my Rights, without legal justification and/or cause, while he and his many criminal co-conspirators are out living their best lives, using money they obtained from stealing my identity and committing massive frauds, using my stolen identity, without a care in the world.
Special Note: For over 42 years, they have been stealing my identity and committing massive frauds, using my stolen identity, as confirmed as actual fact, in writing, by multiple Non-Corrupt Federal/State and Local Authorities. They have the money. They have the assets. They have my children (now adults). I don't and I never have, very easily provable in any non-corrupt Court of Law and/or Hearing. It's only slander if I can't prove it, so you can be sure, I can prove, beyond a reasonable doubt, what I have said here. He and his many criminal co-conspirators have also tried to have me murdered, multiple times, throughout the years. I discovered and reported, upon discovery, giving actual evidence, at least $2 million life insurance policies taken out on me that I didn't even know about. Very scary!!!
@@virginiahart4480 Oh my goodness. My heart and prayers are with you. Something similar happened to a loved one of mine, and like you we’re still feeling the aftermath…I wouldn’t wish this on anyone….
Times like this we’ve got to be strong and seek out organizations that assist and fight against matters such as these. And letting it go too far only drags you deeper down their rabbit hole. I found out first hand. And yes there are people all around us with bad intentions. It may not start off that way, but once someone gets to know you and everything about you, your whole world seems exposed once you’ve parted ways.
@@virginiahart4480 Oh yeah, I’m old school, I believe the man should pay on the first date as well. 💯 From the pickup in the beat up car to the end of the date I’m checking for etiquettes, mannerism, attentiveness, etc. So while he’s testing me I’m already observing him….
Well said, same
After I read “I don’t mind going dutch” I said “the audacity to continue writing this long ass comment like a nigga gon gaf” lol east mark
The car experiment is interesting to me. I have a 2001 Honda CRV with 277,000 miles on it. I get compliments from men all of the time because I take care of my car (and everything that I own).
So here's my take on the subject of finance. Yes, I get that money is a part of any person basic need, & it does answer all things. However, a real, healthy, productive relationship has to have balance in every aspect. Emotionally, physically & mentally. It has to be all encompassing. A man can choose a woman who can meet his every financial desire, & still not be asset to him because of her character & lifestyle. It just depends on what he values the most in his person.
My ex took every dollar from me! I felt I had no control! I always had to ask him for something! I hated that!
I was just talking to my therapist of 9 years, yesterday and she said she was proud of me for not going back to my ex! It was 8 years of hell, control! I got out I 2018 and never looked back! I am proud of myself!🙌🏽
I thank GOD today that I know I deserve better! Though I need working on, not to accept any kind of financial help because that’s the trap the of devil!
I need to focus on GOD more and then I can focus on improving my finances and get out of the situation I’m in!🙏🏽
Great advice, no one should get burned if they stay true to themselves and what they desire in a relationship. Pay close attention to that inner voice that rarely leads us astray!
I wouldn’t think twice about someone’s car. Some people aren’t car people. They go down in value, they are actually negative investments.
This matters what point of life a person is in. If they’re 23 driving a hoopty that’s one thing different from a 50 y/o in a beat up car. I’m not going Dutch, if it’s that bad, you’re not ready to court a woman, so beat it.
I agree to an extent. I'm 50 and drive a beater. She's old and not pretty but gets great mileage and runs like a champ. Don't let that sway tho bc I've got a great job and money in the bank. I'm old school with the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". I don't need to impress. I'm content and blessed, I know my worth, don't need to flaunt I'm past all that. If you wanna judge me by my lil Bessie, you're probably too superficial to be wasting my time. ✌
I love how balanced all of your conversations and advice are. you are pretty much the only dating advice person i can watch and respect because you actually possess the intelligence needed to see both perspectives within a dating dynamic. i know a lot of men talk about how they no longer have role models for what being a "real man" is, but i truly think that you are an incredible role model in this area. also thank you for acknowledging that it makes perfect sense for women to look at men's possessions as an indication of how they take care of themselves and their environment. so frustrating to be painted as gold diggers/shallow, when we just want to make sure that men can do basic chores and pay basic bills, just like most women do themselves.
That’s like a woman showing up with no makeup and raggedy pjs trying to see if a man likes her more than her looks. 😂
Exactly
That's me, I dont wear make-up and i wear my house clothes. Clean ones of course.🤣
Exactly my thinking girl!
Not every woman needs make up
Makeup just means how you normally show up not purposely looking your worst? Like lipgloss? Brush your hair? 😆
Yes, the test of money came up with a partner who came back around years later who stated he wanted to see how far we could go this time. I could sense when he asked for money (monthly) that it was becoming a habit of use the 3rd time. I told him I didn't have it available the 4th time. Sure enough he copped an attitude and stopped contacting me. I'm glad it didn't go on for years. The sad thing is he worked 2 jobs and retired from the military and still needed to use a woman. Who can imagine how many great women he messed up with. I'm grateful it showed early on.
Omg I ran into someone just like this. He kept mentioning money and then finally tried asking me for a “loan”. I told him I didn’t have it, he fell off quickly. Bullet dodged.
I went on a date with a guy who paid for the meal and then said he didn’t have cash for a tip and didn’t want to use his card. I gave him the cash for a tip. After that, it was always a different excuse and he even eventually said he didn’t believe in tipping. The last straw (with that) was when he left without tipping the waitress and I didn’t like that so I went to the ATM to get cash for a tip and went back to the restaurant to tip her. I don’t feel like he should have expected me to pay the tip each time, but even if he did he should have communicated that and let me decide instead of coming with all the games and excuses.
U dont feel like chipping in a "tiny bit" for the tip each time...u sound low valued.............u didnt "gave" him cash for the tip...tips r for the waiter....u helped out a small 15% of both of your bill and u also ate the food! Next time always bring cash so u dont have to struggle to run to the ATM......He left u and dont see a future with u since u have problem with coveringg a small portion...........jeesh.
@@jhica5718 You have no idea what you’re talking about and missed the whole point 🙄
Your date and this guy in the comment was just cheap and can kick rocks
@@alicia_nicole And did! I was not about to deal with that. You’re right. He was just being cheap and I’m not even sure if this other person commenting is a masculine woman or a feminine man 😂.
I have been out with alot of men exactly like this ... they will not tip. I started bringing cash to all dates to avoid the humiliation of leaving and not tipping. Especially if it's a restaurant I go to alone. In my opinion not tipping let's me know they are CHEAP and will be cheap with later on in other areas. I generally will go ahead and tip generously $10 on a $50 check etc.. that way I contribute something and it goes to the waitress without coming from his pocket.
I will be glad when those type of men's grow up.
I swear 🙄
THAT PART!!!
SMH!!
It’s surprising to me that men with that type of intellect or lack thereof have gained any kind of success in their life. They are absolutely sabotaging and walking away with no real results. It’s a fools game. A man that would test a woman does not walk in his masculine nor does he have wisdom to properly lead a woman.
They never do.
You right Stephan it’s just better to be yourself! Good thought!
If a man is tripping over paying for dinner, a simple plate of food…he dern show CANNOT afford groceries…pass on him sis…PERIOD
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me,i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her.
its always difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation my wife for 12 years left me, i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back.
@@jackroyston3263 wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?
@@haynesatteh4463 her name SHELLY RENEE WHITE, you can look her up online, she is the best spiritual adviser she helped out in such a difficult situation.
@@jackroyston3263 Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
@@haynesatteh4463 hey...keep us informed on this feed if she worked out for you. I wish you the best
This was gold: definitely could have used this info back in 2016 LoL nevertheless, lesson learned 🙏🏽 thank GOD for protecting me because I still dodged a bullet.
I feel like the type of men you are referring to in these examples don’t really have money in the 1st place.
Men who "hide" their money, wants to go out on a date. I go dutch. Only to find out, he can afford his own luxury goods. Is he being cheap? Or enjoys making a woman pay? 🇸🇬
That's like me going on our first date, not doing my hair, no makeup, in a tshirt & jeans 😂
👍👍👏👍👏
Exactly...!!
♥️
I really LIKE this short format!
When a man "tests" me Then, I say "bye". I even had a man get snarky with me on a FIRST online conversation. When I called him out on the behavior, he said "I'm testing you". I don't have the time or patience for that crap. Be who you are and be REAL because eventually it will come out in the end anyway.
He is absolutely correct be your true self we give a false representation and then when we switch up, that’s actually worse. This gave me great advice on moving forward in the future. If I ever go on a date again.I will I’m not giving up.
I'm not even about money I just want a man's time and genuine sincerity I can't even get that
Test me? No way I'm sitting through this. But, thank you for all you do. It's so very valuable.
I love what you said about the money issue, I don't really think there is something wrong liking when a man does have it, I think it still reflects things and even if not. What is wrong with that. People match what they desire. End of story. Every single person wants different stuff. If he thinks that way it also might be a low self esteem that he actually needs a proof or if he was right, I mean we are humans money also reflect hierarchy, so at this point in life why not.
These arent tests, these are games. Ive been thru some of these dates and I never answered their calls/texts again. Hope it was worth it, sir!😀
I've purposely initiated dutch and paying entirely on an outing to insinuate we are just associates lol. I never want to lead a man on unintentionally. No games need to be played. Just be grown!
I’ll be at the Dallas tour date! So excited for this event! 🙏🏾
Hello..Imin Dallas can you give me the info I would like to attend..thanks
Life is series of tests and I've had my fair share, and definitely up for a challenge. I feel like the ascended masters are watching me. I hope all is well with you, and that your okay.❣
Goddess light. He has made it a “ normal thing “ to constantly break up with me ! Then comes back & I TAKE HIM BACK.
@@nancybogart3899 don't allow him to come back and set firm boundaries. Do it for you.❣
His laugh cracks me up 😄
Great advice. Thank you
I met a man who kept texting me “man I’m hungry. I got a taste for some…” and it was always something fancy like asparagus with steak etc 😂 he did that like three times I kept texting back “dang u bout to eat good whenever u go get ur self something to eat.” 😂😂😂 I knew what he was up to. He was broke always bringing pb n j to work and he saw how I dressed so he definitely tried it! SMH dodged that bullet !
I personally have left people who feel they can buy my love 🤦🏼♀️
HONEY! Keep your money I am not for sale 💁🏼♀️
Stephan this was very enlightening to me. Thnx😊
A “car” is NOT “what you are.” I totally agree with him pulling up in a functioning but not great vehicle.
I am usually turned off when a man I just met is giving me the Man Resume, telling me in some supposedly backhanded way that he is a super catch. It's not as if I don't know he is trying to impress me. I probably won't appreciate this reverse trickery either. No trust. It is manipulative. I prefer to figure out on my own if a man is good or not by how he treats me, how I feel when I am with him and it will take some time before I figure it out. It would be really nice to think a guy is just regular, not fancy but basically good and kind and decide that I like him. If a guy is trying to show off, how do I know if I like him or not since abundance also looks like security. I don't want to be confused.
Be true to yourself!!! ❤🙏🙏🙏
That’s so crazy. To want a successful man doesn’t make you a gold digger. Success says a lot about the personality and drive in a man… not just about money.
This speaks to me more because of my political leanings. I'm not interested in all that lavish stuff; it's very against my morals. It's not that I don't enjoy finer things, sometimes, but if you can live that way all the time, we don't have the same values, most likely. So, if you come to me being down to earth and simple, I'll probably be more into you. If you change up after a while and it turns out your lifestyle is really more lavish, it's going to be a huge turn off and we won't work. I know people say the advice of "be yourself" is bad, but not really. You need to be yourself (the best version of yourself as possible) to attract what's really for you. Acting like someone else isn't sustainable. Observe people in situations that come up, you don't need to play a game and test people. Give it time and people will always show who they are.
After being financially abused by an ex i will never pass one of those money tests 😂
Right there with you, I've learned that lesson the hard way! I was the generous one who loaned him money, and I never made a big deal about it. I wish I'd known that he'd never stop testing and pushing that boundary. He banked soooo much money while we were together, meanwhile he asked me to contribute more and more to "our expenses and future." He'd never take no for an answer, even if it was my last $5. Hed just say I should learn how to make more money and be responsible. (I tried being more responsible by not giving him more than my fair share, you can guess how that went over!) 14 years later, I finally left him but I have no money in the bank while he's flying high and claims to have done it all on his own, I didn't help him out at all. NEVER AGAIN!!! A real man will show me that he's the gentleman I want in my life! Now I show up authentically and I make it clear that I'm not interested in games. I expect the same in return. If I feel I'm being tested like that, I'm out the door.
@@magzzzzers preach girl! I second everything u say. Some men will really put u through the ringer and guise it as being a ride or die or true partner. Im good ill be generous with the one who deserves it.
@@Damnsaburna Yes, yes YES!!! We've got this, we strong badass women can be happy our own damn selves until we meet our strong badass counterparts! Being alone is so much more rewarding because I know without a doubt that I'm not the wrong one for me 😉 and I will not be an ATM or a placeholder in someone else's s life either! Looking forward to a new year with only this kind of energy, wishing the same for you Sis!!! 💜💯🔥😘💝
@@magzzzzers same for u hun stay strong out here 💜!
My test is being good to others;
if its not reciprocated, you fail.
This is so funny because I talked about this on my Tiktok.
Bad dates and I am getting bashed because I am left with the impression the guy cannot take care of himself and much more take care of me or our relationship.
I love watching your videos. Every word you say make sense!
Yeap! And yeap! I love when you start " Let me tell you a story." Because that gets my attention. Lol
Some play games and most can be “read” for what they’re trying to do, what they’re going to do, and what they’re going to say-there are many women who are making more than the men they could date but some of those men can’t handle it.
Test can be a good thing. You can see who a person really is face value. Money matters and yes men and women can both get taken advantage. So I can see why someone would down play how much there financially worth. I am Guilty of doing that! Appearances are are important especially depending on someone’s profession. So many women like men in black ( suits, ties) etc. But seeing a man (when duty calls)in his day to day attire ex: polo and jeans is my preference. I get it you have to get a good a read on a person in all facets of life. Hope I pass his test# Bobbie Simon
Exactly
The car test worked!!! Good move my man!😊👍🏿
That means women should test men also, show up to the date with a track suit, no hair, makeup and nails done. Then we can find out if he really likes us for what's inside.
Showing up to a date without his wallet was reason enough for me to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and ditch him instead.
I don't like the I left my wallet test. I would be mad if someone did that to me. Makes you look irresponsible. BUT for the car, I kinda agree with that one. People's perception of you does change when they find out your profession or income.
I appreciate this advice although I don't know if I'll ever meet someone
Thank you.
I was telling a guy how dirty someones house was the other day. The look on his face told me exactly what he was thinking. His house was probably unacceptable to me. Hes never asked me to his house. Bachelors. yikes!
You wanted him to congratulate you when you were badmuthing someone?
Life tests you enough. I’ll be damn if I stay around with a lame who constantly tests my character. As a woman who has money myself I don’t want a broke man and there’s nothing wrong with that. Financial freedom is a blessing g on both ends.
My rules are no verbal abuse no cheating and no beating me and im good 👍🏾 nothing else lol
Same!🔥
Plus that he must shower more than twice per/week!!!😂🎉
I never had a man that did this to me, i always was treated like a wanted woman
At over 40 of age you don't have time for games. Just be you.
If anyone would pull any of that on me, the only thing I’d be certain of is that they’re concerned about themselves to the point that they forgot to connect with me and who I am. So, no no… huge, massive turn off.
Ps no, it’s not the same if one has one lifestyle or another, not the same at all. That said you can fall for anyone in spite of their financial status.
In my experience men freak out if you love them for who they are. We are not supposed to be unconditionally loving to our spouses but our children. Boundaries and standards are the healthy things. He thinks you are an idiot and desperate if you accept everything from him.
Thank God you said: " in my experience".
Some do play games to hurt you
This video popped up at the right time. God bless you, Stephan! Love always, Sherniece! 💙💙💙
Good points
Great info. Need to tell my daughter all of this. She has cont'd to date crappy guys! I've told her she can do better! Thx for info!!
😄👍 Thanks, Steve!
If I may add, Stephan - women are generally doing well for themselves financially these days than those kinds of men think. The reality we are working with is that women are beginning to appreciate the deeper things beyond money. So those men need to grow up and buckle up, stop testing women based on money that is now accessible to them.
It's weird males think women only want them for their money cuz I don't know any woman driving their boyfriend's car around to pick up other males to cheat w/while their boyfriend is at work and paying all the bills. However, there's plenty of males that use women like that i.e. the movie 'Baby Boy'
Good Word.
You said that right 💯 Agree
I am not a Golddigger but I ain't messing with no broke............🎶🎶 Get down girl go ahead get down.
Had a guy tell me that the bank was holding his $$ for 48 hours and he didn’t have money for transport or food ….. didn’t ask me directly for me but I felt he was trying to hint it at me 😅 this was after 3 weeks of dating only
Why can't a man solve his own problems? Why he needs a woman to finance him? He need his momma. 🇸🇬
@@NorinaRozila exactly. and if you need to test me, well consider me FAILED , im no longer in school lol
Some men can be manipulators. However, there is the belief that men are the head of the household and a woman is his backbone. Successful relationships begin with two individuals having the desire to succeed and win in life.
Getting-to-Know, is notttttt DSS/Social Services. If people can't afford to do it! They shouldn't be taken seriously. Men, wouldn't have to resort to these sadly disappointing test if, preparation and grooming, for quality women, were apart of their relationship goal. Too many of them have a One Sizes Fits All type attitude. Right out of the GATE, trying to secure a body, not a women, at a discount%. Men, as well as women should get back to making a good first impression and CARE, about what they stand for and how others SEE them which has to do with caring about their reputation. Interesting video, thanks Stephan.🙂😔👍
Exhausting I guess I will just travel and do me. If it happens it happens.
React super calmly to tests. It drives men crazy. It's cute when they keep trying to make you fail lol. Adorable
I think that both persons have to be who they are and see if they like each y other end of story. There are many ways to figure out the other person having a few interactions. If I find that someone test me like that I would start to lose trust in that person and think he is unsecure of himself
I dated a man who when we disagree he dump me and then he told he has 3 different business and he has a lot money which i didn't know that part but he was trying me feel like I lost someone worthy it's not all about money it's about character
The best men I know don’t have expensive cars. They have practical cars that are dependable because they have thought long term if a car is a good investment or not.
That car example is like me rubbing a raw fish on my vajayjay and going on the date and then dropping the man because he didn’t respond well to the stench. He should want me for me, not my vajayjay right??😂😆
I have a question... What is it like when a man finds the woman or a woman and want to ask her to marry him? Is it like it is for women exciting scarry
U on point
Million Dollar matchmaker on one episode this guy was very well off financially he went on a date and pretended like he was poor, the car he drove the way he dressed , etc.. The lady on the show said that is absolutely ridiculous she told to stop doing it just like he said!!
That’s why it’s good to get your information from several different sources and if several people agree, that’s confirmation that they’re RIGHT!
True
Great example.