Queen Charlotte Gets Therapized - Loving Someone with Mental Illness
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 พ.ค. 2024
- Where are my Bridgerton and Queen Charlotte fans at? What is great about Queen Charlotte's story is the way she is able to love King George through his mental illness. Watch this video as Queen Charlotte gets therapized.
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00:00 Loving someone with mental illness
01:15 Queen Charlotte clip
05:12 How does Queen Charlotte deal with the mental illness
07:30 Queen Charlotte clip
12:00 Real love deals in truth
16:50 What is your moral obligation?
#queencharlotte #bridgerton #netflix #mendedlight #jonathandecker
• Video
“I care not for his sanity. I care for his happiness. I care for his soul. “ I loved this series so much
That was the LINE.
@@WileChile51I have to admit, my taste is a bit spicier--I LOVED it when she threatened to destroy the "doctor".
But yes--FABULOUS line.
As someone who works at a nursing home, Charlotte did exactly what you should do. You can't bring them back to reality, but you can step into their reality and soothe them by being there for them.
My sister and I learned that whilenour mother was in hospice. It was harrowing, but you get used to the necessity of it.
It was especially jarring, simce the MS turned her from one of the most intelligent humans I've ever met (she was Mensa level) to someone who didn't always know how we knew who she was...
Not too proud to admit that for me, a good amount of tequila was involved, helping me keep my emotions (mostly grief) from becoming so obvious that Mom would notice.
Honestly, as much as I enjoyed Bridgerton, Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story (and specifically the parts with only Charlotte and George) was so much better than the main series, in my opinion. It dealt with some heavy things that hit so close to home and it had such an encouraging message of staying together in sickness and in health. That scene where Charlotte demands to know how George feels about her is some of the most powerful writing I have seen in recent years.
I thought Bridgerton Seasons 1 and 2 were overall much better than Queen Charlotte. I agree that the George and Charlotte scenes in the series were the best part but there really wasn’t enough of it in their own show.
rare case of a sequel surpassing the original
I agree, Queen Charlotte actually surprised me. I know it's not entirely true to history but really who's expecting that when watching one of these shows? LOVED the main actress(young Charlotte) The final episode was beautiful and made me cry 😭
I so agree! I mean, the main series is amazing and beautiful but this one had me cry my eyes out... Especially the last scene under the bed, great acting, great writing, great directing
It's not just powerful writing. Can you imagine how many couples are out there in where one or both of them are trauma survivors? That climatic scene can happen in real life if one person just never saw themselves starting a family with someone else who loves them whole. I know of someone who had to give an ultimatum to their partner: they can live their separate ways as good friends, but only if that is what they truly want. Many conversations later, it turned out into a beautifully intimate wedding with a child on the way.
His psychosis, or the fascination with his psychosis, overshadows his significant social anxiety. When he has a panic attack going to parliament and right before their ball, Charlotte is just as compassionate and empathetic. Charlotte also cuts through his core beliefs that he’s is unwanted and broken that were reinforced by the men in parliament and his mom at times.
I did love how his mother was portrayed, though. At first, as a hard, power hungry harpie...only to see how much she hurts for him/protects him in the first breakdown we see (when he learns Charlotte is en route and she empties the room)...
And we see the first glimpse of her love for him, and that her nastiness is actually the tightly controlled terror of a momma bear who's losing her ability to protect him.
As the mother of a (now adult) son with some intense mental illness issues, that went straight to my heart.
But yes, your point is excellent- Charlotte 's support of him through the social anxiety was beautiful.
Yeah, poor guy, being king didn't help!
While I think the show was received well overall I did see some people saying they missed the “escapism” of seasons 1 and 2. Which I guess makes sense from a neurotypical pov, but as someone with bipolar disorder this season actually gave me that feeling of escapism more than the other seasons. As someone who has experienced psychosis Charlotte saying “I will stand with you between the heavens and the earth. I will tell you where you are” literally brought me to tears. Seeing George find love despite his illness gave me a feeling of hope.
I can tell you that although I don't suffer from any mental disorders (at least not that I'm aware of) I prefer Queen Charlotte by a mile over the "main" series. It was funny at times, absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking. I did enjoy the "main" two seasons for what it was but Queen Charlotte surpassed my expectations.
@@karolina285 100% AGREE. Queen Charlotte just hit different! The last scene with them under the bed... ugh! I cry every time! its a beautiful story. Definitely one of my favorites. ❤
I’ve seen so many people talk about that scene and claim that George’s “my heart calls your name” like was THE line for the season(like Simon’s “I burn for you”)and completely ignore Charlotte line! As sweet as I think his line is, if anyone ever said anything even remotely close to “I will stand with you between the heavens and the earth, I will tell you where you are” I would break down in tears because THAT is what I connected to the most. Someone acknowledging that their partner has these mental issues and struggles and telling them that they’ve made their choice and that they’ll stand by them if their partner will just let them.
I feel like everyone raves about George’s confession of love to Charlotte but I love the part where she says:
“George! I will stand with you between the Heavens and the Earth! I will tell you who you are! Do you love me?!!!”
It’s just such a beautiful affirmation that she chooses him and chooses to love him no matter whatever state he’s in. She now knows what she’s getting into and she still chooses him. 13:43
As someone who is married to a man with Mental Health issues (Bipolar Type 2, PTSD, Manic Depression, ADHD) I loved this portrayal. I was struck with the similarities. I've been married to my mell of hess for 15 years now, and When we were first married at 17(gasp) I knew absolutely NOTHING about how bad his mental health was or how bad it would become- especially after he got hurt and our whole world changed. The scene where they are hiding under the bed and he says something to Charlotte about "You deserve more than half a husband, half a man." and I remember looking at my husband saying "How many times have we had that conversation?" I am his anchor and he is my home. we are *each other's* home.
Is it hard some days? Abso-flippin-leutly. Have I had days where I had to talk him down from an emotional ledge? Again, yes. It's not easy loving someone who isn't fully mentally well but I wouldn't have him any other way. I truly believe in the vows he and I spoke- admittedly as innocent children- In sickness and in health; 'Til death do us part.
You are a healer
@@Zubstep1315 thank you. I truly try for him and our 4 Y.O. every day
🥺🥺❤️
You are an inspiration. I have ADHD and Depression myself, my partner has been very understanding and soothing to me. People like you are a big help. We desperately need someone like you to take care of us when we find it's hard to take care of ourselves. Amidst the cruel world, you are a beacon of light. Thank you for all that you do
Why am I crying rn 😭
Charlotte was incredibly well-written. You get a lot why she is the way she is in the Bridgerton series. The love and care she has for George shines through, as well as the tough-cookie personality she developed as a product of everything that went down. India is such a great actress! Cory also did an amazing job portraying George's (unspecified) mental illness, his trauma, his sense of duty, as well as his love for Charlotte. I cried a couple times watching and I still get emotional watching those clips. 🥺🖤
They were just mesmerizing together! Great casting, amazing actors! I ugly cried a few times
As a Bridgerton fan and as someone who experienced my first episode of psychosis this summer after ending a traumatic, abusive relationship - this show warmed my heart. I was left by my best friend after who saw me experience this psychotic break. He called for help, then blocked me on everything.
We had decided to date (he helped me get out of the DV relationship) but left once he saw the psychosis. Despite the fact that we had 8yrs of close friendship. I understand it was too much for him but it definitely stung.
I'm now fine with the right medication and therapy. But definitely going to take the time to heal before I put myself out on the dating scene. Hoping I can find someone who's as understanding as Charlotte was. Especially since I've been stable since the summer. Need someone who could truly be with me "in sickness and in health."
It's really devastating and I'm sorry you had to stomach such an episode AND a friendship loss on top. Devastatingly, men tend to be socially less equipped to handle caretaking, on average. And it tends to show at times like these when it'd be needed the most.
I’m so sorry ): my bestfriend has bipolar 1 with psychosis and has also lost some of our long term friends due to it. I will never understand their decision to step away because of it.
The scene where Charlotte reminds George of their child reminds me of my own partner reminding me of my surroundings when I'm having an anxiety attack.
As the spouse of a disabled person, I loved this show! We married in the midst of his diagnosis and I was told by certain family members that I was making a mistake. My own mother hugged me and whispered, "well, I hope you are happy now," before she left right after the ceremony.
The only mistake would have been walking away from him. Even when our days are rough, his smile and laughter make everything better. I know that I will lose him before I am ready, but I will love him forever. I will live without him in the future to be beside him now. That is love, not sacrifice. If they don't understand, it is their loss, not mine.
Personally, I do not like Bridgerton series (I find it a bit silly). However, this spin-off was super surprising, and totally well directed, written and acted! I watched it during a mental breakdown (My ex broke my heart horribly; I lost someone in my family who I adored and could not go to her funeral because I live in another country, and I suffered some racist comments in my PhD department).
I flew to NYC, no one knew, totally desesperate. I have severe depression, and had to take sedatives to 'alleviate' the pain and avoid commiting suicide. I hid in my hostel bed, isolatedand just watched this series non-stop. It changed me, calmed me down.
It gave me energy to go back to my house after 4 days of total isolation from the word (also, broke because I spent all the money I had hahaha). I fell in love with King George's character, I saw myself in his pain, in the end, him having his happy ending somehow gave me hope.
I hope you are slowly recovering from this terrible episode, as far as that's possible. And that you have thought of a plan, should you find yourself in any further episode of sheer overwhelm and pain.
A couple years ago, I was driving taxi cab on the night shift. We got the whole range of fares.
One of mine one night was a guy who said he just got out of prison a week before and had a motel room to stay in, but he'd heard the manager and "some biker trucker guys" behind his wall talking about robbing and killing him. Now he was on the run, he'd fled the motel and was basically just going back and forth across town desperately trying to escape these guys. Every big truck he saw, every loud noise was them chasing us.
My heart broke for his guy, and after one trip (he kept calling back for more rides) where I tried to help ground him in reality- there were no trucks in sight- I decided to get into his world. Because really, how terrifying must this be for him?
So I asked him if he was familiar with the name of a local adult crisis center. He was not. I told him that these were good people who were familiar with cases like his. They could protect him from these biker truckers. They wouldn't let this gang in, and he'd have a roof and a meal and a clean bed and help from from this group that had dealt with situations like this before.
He agreed, and I took him. He checked himself in. I don't know what happened after that, but I have have hoped and prayed that he got the actual help- and probably meds- that he needed. And if not that, I hope he was able to feel safe for at least one night.
What a lovely story ❤
People used to be told not to entertain delusions - these days we know that sometimes it's more helpful to try to meet people where they are at.
@@Miss_Distress Exactly. I realized he needed to feel heard and believed before he could accept any help.
Reynolds and George grew up together. He was the first to notice his condition. He is so much more than a servant and he believes Charlotte is beyond anything he could have ever hoped for George. ❤❤❤
I loved to see how decisive and determined she was to protect him… that takes a lot of love 🥺🧡
So as a historian, I’ll comment what I know about Queen Charlotte and King George. It was not a love match as you see in the show it was just as described. She was chosen to marry him however, it quickly became love and it was a mutual love, as he is the only monarch on record since that did not have an affair. Not much, is known about Charlotte, in particular, other than she was incredibly loved by her people, however, she never did give up on him, so I like to think that that at least is true.
I don't think he is quite the only monarch on record without an affair. What about Victoria, or Elizabeth II?
@@andreaweber8059 I miswrote i meant the only king
I haven't had the heart to watch Charlotte all the way through yet. My husband has schizoeffective bipolar type. He hears voices and there have been times when he retreats into himself or experices delusions. I was with him for 4 years before we knew he was sick. It hurts to see the person you love go through that. It hurts to know you cant stop it. Thankfully with modern medicine and understanding we have learned how to live with it. But Charlotte is so alone. Before we found what worked for my husband, I was very much in Charlotte's position. Desperately wanting the person you love to be okay and desperately missing them when they're "gone". It's such a sad and lonely strength you must have to love someone with hallucinations/delusions, I cant even properly put it into words. The actress, actor and everyone involved in making the show does a fantastic job of portraying this relationship dynamic. When Charlotte yells at George that she will stand with him between the heavens and the earth, and that she will tell him where he is, I have had that conversation. But I know how her story goes, how his conidtion worsens, and its my biggest fear.
Sorry for unloading all this but its been on my mind.
I've struggled with severe anxiety and depression all my life. My childhood was perpetually traumatic and I never saw a future with a husband or children because of it. The self loathing will cause you to push away everyone, and especially the people who love you, and the shame George feels because of his mental illness does the same thing. I don't think George will love Charlotte unconditionally, until he learns to love himself unconditionally, but letting her in and allowing her to see the 'bad' parts of himself, that is a good place to start. She can show him what accepting his mental illness looks like through example
Queen Charlotte is one of those few shows, that I just adore. This is the kind of romance we need to see more of. Right. Not putting men in toxic roles, where we either show mental illness as abuse of a partner and or as the man relying too much on their female partner. Their love felt, convincing and true. I admit, I wept genuine tears watching this series.
A therapist forced my bestfriend to stop talking to her boyfriend, even asked her to break up. Her boyfriend was a godsend for her, she has depression, epilepsy, anxiety and she also had breast lump and he was with her in all of this. After she decided to change her therapist, he told her that he had feelings for her and was calling her at odd hours. Anyway, some therapists are horrible and because of that experience she never went to therapy again.
Dang. Did she ever get back together with her bf? Is she okay?
@@viridianacortes9642 She is doing better, yes they are together and getting married next year most likely.
Funny that you mention him telling her to break up with him because, in another episode, Johnathan says that therapists rarely tell their clients what to do except in situations where not doing so will put the client's life at risk. So that would be an immediate red flag if you ever see behavior like that again.
@@Firebender554 Oh absolutely. My therapist said the exact same thing- she said she could try to give me direction and advice, but she'd never outright tell me to do something unless it was to stop something that was causing immense harm (as in abuse) or putting me in danger.
@@Firebender554 I see, therapy is already a huge taboo in my country and these kind of therapists make it harder for people who actually need help.
The acting in this show is brilliant, they picked 2 amazing actors for the roles which I think helps immensely and I can't wait to see them in other things.
My father has PTSD, my cousin has diagnosed Bipolar, and my late grandmother had Anxiety and Depression. Every episode that deals with mental health I feel helps me adjust and heal a little bit.
I relate to George. I live with PTSD and sometimes I feel like I’m too broken to get better. My husband is like Charlotte. Telling me I am safe, I am loved, reminds me of my progress, and helps anchor me when I can’t remember what year it is.
This was one of the best spin-off series ever made. It was very serious, very kind, so compassionate. It brought me to tears, made me angry and afraid. A lot of produced series (may it be books, movies or TV series) are lacking the true range of emotions. Charlotte is extremely well written, she is consistent with her actions and she is relatable, as is George. It makes her so much believable in the Bridgerton show.
Urgh, how George clings to Charlotte when he tells her he loves her. This is pure deperation, she serves as his rock in a tumoiled, mad world where everything changes on a whim. Makes me cry every time.
My partner struggles with depression and it feels like I need to be his anchor in the real world when he's so full of negative thoughts. He totally is my safe haven for every struggle I have, too. I am glad that we both can cling on to one another when our own heads are full of dark clouds, rain and storms.
14:08 You shouldn’t be embarrassed! I think that clip turns on the “Cry” button for a lot of us. 😭
This spinoff is beautiful. The other original series is good but this one is so pure, so heartbreaking and just everything
"untie THE KING!!" She is no different from a lioness roaring at the cayotes who wounded her Lion. Goosebumps...
As someone with bipolar disorder who spent years terrified of telling a partner for fear they would leave, and who finally found someone deeply supportive and caring, this show made me cry almost every episode. This show managed to be quite realistic and supportive at once. Lovely romance.
We're so happy you found such lovely partner!
As someone that has complex PTSD from growing up whif a bipolar father (that reduces to take proffesional help), please combine this whif help from outside. They are good medications for this now please take it and terapi if you can.
You know what's sad, I would have stood by him through just about anything. He pushed me away. After ~ 20 years, I couldn't take rejection anymore 😢
Im leaving my partner of 15 years, when he's on the meds everything else in his life improves but it's like he forgets I exist. I end up having a break down and he goes off his meds claiming they don't help, I know it's a lie but he goes off them anyway. Things between us get better but everything else suffers. We were about to start this cycle for the 3rd or 4th time and I can't put myself through it again. It's like being on either side of a teeter totter and we cant find the balance point. My way of coping isn't good for either of us and he wont make legal ties that would allow me to feel safe. I love him but neither of us is thriving this way.
My husband has bipolar 2 and I talked him out of his episodes before he had gotten proper treatment. It took a long time to get to the point where he was fully functional and lots of patience, and I had to diagnose him myself and demand testing. They kept diagnosing him as being depressed or sleep deprived.
Even when my husband told me he didn't love me I knew better because his body language and actions said otherwise. When he went off his meds to try and reassess what he needed he listened to our wedding song with me and cried because of how much it touched him. His psychiatrist started a new regime of medications and he's doing great. To my understanding the human body can get used to medications and new ones are needed to maintain control.
He is pursuing a career in counseling now because he wants to help other people.
Therapy has made a huge difference for my husband and for me.
Keep up the great work!
"Well now I'm crying" BEST👏🏼REACTION👏🏼EVER👏🏼
I FEEL YOUUUU
"My heart calls your name" is such a beautiful line. :3
It'd be really great if you did a therapized video of a show called Reign. It's a historical romantic drama. It's not historically accurate, but it's very enjoyable to watch! I think the actress who plays the main character, Queen Mary (Adelaide Kane), is a fan of Bridgerton. In season 2, Mary has a traumatic experience, and it affects her marriage to her husband King Francis II.
Oh my gods yes! I would love to see him react to Mary's trauma response and how it leads to her distancing herself from Fancis and latching onto Conde. That whole arc was so intense and heartbreaking! Especially the scene with Catherine and Mary in the immediate aftermath. I have so many thoughts and feelings about Catherine but the way she handled that situation was sooooo good!
@@lillimay98 Mary and Catherine had their ups and downs throughout the series, and I loved the best parts of their relationship! That scene where Catherine supported Mary in the aftermath was amazing. If I remember correctly, this whole arc became very controversial because the intention of the episode was to "support" victims of that trauma, but instead, it did the opposite. Although most fans, including me, didn't like Mary and Conde's relationship, some say they have experienced trauma and can relate to Mary. I don't blame them.
@@AGothicFairyTale Yeah I also didn't like Mary and Conde's relationship but I can totally get why people related to Mary through it. She trauma bonded to Conde and he took advantage of that attachment because he was in love with her. She became blind to all his flaws because he was the first man she felt safe with after and it broke my heart watching her and Francis' relationship break down because of it. Though it did make them finding their way back to each other and their time together after all the sweeter.
@@lillimay98 Yeah! Exactly! Most of season 2 was hard for me to watch. Especially knowing that Mary and Francis's time together afterward would be too short. It made it hard for me to finish the rest of the series, but I finally did a few days ago!
@@AGothicFairyTale Gods it was so hard to get through but the Stay With Me dance scene alone was worth it. Like damn that scene hurts me in all the best ways
Yes mother with bipolar syndrome. It’s such a mix of rage guilt fear and sadness. After all you understand that you can’t solve the problem you can just be there
I'm a mentally ill (healing with therapy for over a decade) mother of a mentally ill person who's struggling, and the wife and daughter of people wo believe mental illnesses are fake. This hits so hard, connection is key, in whatever way that you can, if it works and it's honest and comes from a place of love... then it's good
I really hope we see you cover the moment when it's Future Queen Charolette asking Brimsley why he thinks her daughters never marry. His response was...honest and also so heavy, and I'd really love to see your thoughts on it.
And yeah, the person is myself. A lot of the time I still feel pressured to come across as a neurotypical person who occasionally gets stressed and sad sometimes. Currently I'm struggling to understand if I am in fact aroace or if that's just the easier explanation(which is a major boost to the aroace communities for existing more and being accepted as a response) than having to tell people that with dealing with being raised by a detached father who only got married because that's what you did if you wanted to have adult fun and come from Catholic families. There's also a lot of Catholic guilt that makes depression and anxiety comes off as demons that makes it even less accessible to be honest with family and those of the community who are also deeply rooted in the church(my struggles with my faith and not liking the church are it's own battles) and having been around a parent who fought different stages of cancer that put me in years of purgatory grief as I was constantly surrounded by the dying that...that moment that Brimsley describes Queen Charlotte hit too close to home...being human is so complex....thank you for your channel. It's given me the words and the tears...but like a release valve that helps me let it out before I pop!
Queen Charlotte knew the answer to that question. She wanted Brimsley, who has been around her since she married the King to reaffirm what she already knew to be true. She is stuck in the past. Her daughters recognized that as well. They keep her attached to reality. If they had left, her loneliness and the plight of her husband's mental illness would have totally consumed her.
Because she wouldn't let them marry.
It has been a tough road, but I am so grateful to my spouse for all that they have done to support me and educate themselves on my mental illness/neurodivergence. Noone knows me better or loves me more.
In my life I am that person. I have Autism. And it comes with many ups and downs. I have created a beautiful community around me. I support them in their ups and downs and they support me. But we all chose this❤. And I think it's beautiful
Honestly I’m curious for you to review a series/movie about a man loving a mental ill woman. I feel like it’s all too common on media to see women being compassionate and willing/wanting to be with a mentally ill/physically ill/disabled/etc man. But women portrayed with these kinds of issues are seen as negative and undeserving of that kind of love.
you MUST watch "Benny and Joon."
I don't like that George still gets called mad. I encourage anyone who is interested in George III and his illness to watch Lucy Worsley Investigations, she goes into George III and mental illness during the time and I think (if I remember correctly) the modern day diagnosis for George is Bipolar as from the medical notes at the time he had incredible highs and the lowest lows, one such low was after the death of 2 of his kids and he carried a pillow around calling it after his children.
That’s an excellent episode. People used to think he had porphyria.
Lucy Worsley is an absolute gem.
The level of compassion and understanding she has as a teenager is pretty astonishing. I don't think I could've ever known how to talk to someone in a psychotic episode like this
My older son has severe autism (largely nonverbal), OCD, and is bipolar...raising him was...an adventure. My father had NPD (and some additional mild dementia), while my mother had MS, which eventually affected her brain...they were their own adventures as well.
Living with mental illness (one's owm or that of a loved one) is...well, it's a lot. You do the best you can, advocate/protect as best you can, and hope you (or any other family members, esp young ones) don't sustain too much damage in the process.
Thank you for doing this video on Queen Charlotte. This series spoke to me on a very real level, and I greatly appreciate(d) hearing your take on it.
You had me in this video the second you quoted Zurro
I have a lot of anxiety disorders, OCD, depression. My partner has anxiety disorders, ADHD and depression. We are each other's rocks. We support each other on the bad days, we enjoy together our good days, we make sure the other's needs are met if needed. We understand the struggles we face together and on our own. We communicate about it, tell each other if we are struggling. It is a love I have never known before and we accept each other as we are completely. I would not have it any other way. Sure, it might be easier for both of us if we were 100% healthy in body and mind, but life is a bitch sometimes, you don't always get everything you want. Because we had both already struggled with it, we both could accept and deal with each other's mental health struggles. So in a way it has been a good thing. There is a level of understanding I think people that haven't faced mental health issues just don't understand fully. Which doesn't have to be a problem, but could be. Being open, honest and loving each other has been key. It's very much like loving someone wth physical disabilities, which both of us also have - I live with fatigue, so can't do many things, he uses an electric wheelchair. We are happy, in spite of our brains sometimes making it very hard to be, in spite of the bad days. Because on all the good, all the average, all the 'meh' days, we have each other. At the end of each day we fall asleep next to someone who loves and accepts us.
I hope this new video of yours does very well. I loved Queen Charlotte, even though I nevet really watched Bridgerton before.
#CryingwithJono When I watched this originally, I didn't expect to like it. But it was so very well done that I binged it so fast. The writing was superb.
This made me happy cry. I support someone who lives with mental illness
My husband has schizophrenia we found out when we first started dating ,so I was there for the hard Years of saying what's real what's not especially before his medications got balanced properly this show reminds me of that time and how we both fought for his sanity.
My mom has bipolar and had a severe episode of mania while we were camping as a family. At first I was the only one able to meet her where she was at with her delusions of grandure, but luckly my brother came to help after a day or so and we were able to get her to the hospital and diagnosed. While it was a challenging time I still love my mom very much and I am so proud of her for sticking to her meds and therapy and she is now better then I’ve ever seen her. I know many folks are scared of therapy and meds but with time and support and some trial and error things can improve alot and relationships can heal. Much love for rhis series and your work 💜
I am so jeallus at you ♥️. My dad refused to admit he was sick to the end.
My fiancé seeing me in an episode of mania was one of my worst fears…but he said he loved all of me and wouldn’t change me. That I couldn’t push him away and that he’d help me through it. And he’s kept his word. I love that man so much.
The absolute best of all the Bridgertons. Historical facts be damned, I love Bridgerton.
Absolutly love how you put that "staying means nothing if your not free to go"
I was brought up by my grandparents from the age of 2 years old and when I was about 17 my Nan got diagnosed with vascular dementia. My Grandad took care of her for 9 years til the very end. She was a prisoner in her own mind and ended up not being able to talk or move, but my Grandad was always there for her. She died in February this year but I have never seen a more true love.
My husband is bipolar, suffers from chronic back pain, insomnia, and has self worth issues from emotional neglect as a child. These things often surface as insecurity. Asking me if I’m mad at him or if I’ve been cheating on him. After 10 yrs it gets really wearing and is a big turn off for me sexually. He is in therapy trying to address it. It is an every day task to stay patient with him. He is still my best friend under all the mess.
♥️
This was a great series. George the third was king mostly in the 1700's. He was the king under which America revolted.
He was so afraid of his own mind. So very afraid!!! And Charlotte demanded he face himself.. and his feelings, and her. And he did. They were both so afraid, confused. And brave.
Man! Thanks for doing this episode: I’ve been dealing with a reoccurrence of mental health issues since COVID, and haven’t really dealt with my personal stigma against it. Thanks for the reminder: the state of my mental health is just the state of my health and should not be a source of shame.
Every single episode of the series made me cry. My entire family, my life partner, and I struggle with different mental illnesses.
I love and appreciate that its more and more normalized.
I wonder what happened to Charlotte's relationship with their kids. There seems to be a rift between Charlotte and them.
They kinda explained it in the show, Charlotte was to busy looking after George and being queen that she didn’t have time to properly be in her kids lives, leaving them feeling neglected “ you were the queen never our mother” said by the eldest. The kids never feel close to her because she was never close with them, you see moments in the show when she’s surprised to learn something about them because they never have a heart to heart I mean why would they when she’d probably disregard it because George needs outweigh theirs in her mind.
In real life, she was a very involved parent. George didn’t have episodes until he was fully adult, and even then, they were episodes. But he doesn’t seem to have liked the boys very much after they started growing up, and their eldest was an awful disappointment. Bridgerton is WAY too easy on him. With the girls, she was a bit of a smother mother, and didn’t want to let them get married and leave.
@professorbutters I remember hearing something that part of why she didn't want the girls to marry and leave was because of George's illness. She didn't want them to leave and change the household
I think this spin-off of the main series Bridgerton is just my favourite so far...I cried so much watching this series because it reminded me of my own experience...I have been with a person soffering from depression, probably an undiagnosed case of Asperger...it has been tough and sometimes you think "when it is my time to be vulnerable?"...you need to be strong most of the time...but the connection you create with this person is something not that many relationships can really have...it is so deep that it's hard to leave, but at the same time you know you're not gonna find someone like this forever...
I really connected to this video because my husband - my best friend and my lover - has PTSD that's severe enough (and has had some physical side effects) that he has a permanent and total disability rating from the VA.
It's not easy loving someone with a mental illness, but it's worth it because when Matt isn't dealing with the comorbids or any of the symptoms of PTSD, he's the wonderful man I married (well, a bit more mature than the man I married, technically, since we've been married over 18 years, which is only right).
I've gotten to the point now where I'm quite used to the mental illness and its side effects, but what I haven't gotten used to is the judgement that I get from others who insist on trying to give "advice" on how I should treat him and have him push himself and those who don't understand why I'm still with him (one cousin insisted that the reason I'm with him must be because he's abusive and controlling).
I was born with a genetic kidney disease, and my future mother-in-law told her son that maybe he shouldn't marry me because life could be hard. He said whatever. We've been together 36 years through my almost dying giving birth to our daughter, him donating a kidney to me that lasted nineteen years, me going through a very hard time when that kidney gave out, a second transplant and seizures immediately after that led to finding three little tumors in my head, and eventually head surgery to remove the biggest. Through all that, we spent ten years trying to adopt a baby, the death of all my birth family members, and that of his parents. He has had the harder time through all this, watching me in hospital rooms dealing with my illness. He is my hero and never once has he suggested he would never have wanted a different life.
I really really think you should watch the Haunting of Bly Manor. What you said at the end of this video reminded me of a line in that show spoken in the first episode. "To love someone is to accept the work of loving them is worth the pain of losing them." and I just f*cking love that line. Seriously watch the show please
I'd love to hear more about Charlotte.
Damn now I'm crying too
My husband has depression and anxiety and at first it was a shock to me. I didn’t know how to act or how to feel about it. I made the choice to love all of him and I stand by it, just like queen Charlotte. As an empath I can’t sit in his depression with him but I can take care of him and take care of me as well.
Thats good but dont refuse proffesional help, to let him so that is love to.
I struggle with depression and was diagnosed with autism at a very young age. Recently, my relationship ended because we both have different wants in life, but also the fact that they said I was "emotional unstable". And while I was able to manage my mental health throughout our relationship, they ultimately said that they don't want to be with someone that is a "work in progress". And that really hurt. But you mentioned at the end of your video that no one is obligated to deal with someone that is struggling and to respect their wishes.
I believe I'm at that point where I'm trying to respect his wishes, but still acknowledging the fact that what he said could've been said in better words. Or, I do understand why he said it since I've known him long enough to understand his thinking and his history regarding mental health. It is just disappointing and sad for me to gave loved someone for so long, for them to realize they can't keep up and let me go. That's how life is and that's why you date people, to see it things can work out between you two. That i understand. I guess what hurts me the most is that my worst fears and insecurities of them leaving me because of my mental health came true...right now I'm healing and I have my friend to support me and just coping in general
Hey Jonathan! As always, thank you so much for the comfort, understanding, and love you give here on Mended Light and on Cinema Therapy. I watched Queen Charlotte with my boyfriend who experiences paranoid schizophrenia and we connected so deeply with the story. It made me feel seen and I know my boyfriend saw himself in George. We have been together for almost three years now and our relationship is one of the greatest gifts of my life. Yes, it does get difficult and I have to pull him out of many dark places that his brain and the voices take him to. But he and his beautiful heart, his beautiful kind soul is so much more than what this horrible illness does to him. I am always grateful for the words you say, Jonathan. They really help me through many of my emotions and feelings. Thank you infinitely...
I was impressed with their interpretation of ptsd/mental illness
I was wondering if you could ever do a video on the web-cartoon Camp Camp? Specifically the main character, Max. I’d love to see how you view his growth as a person.
I'd love to hear your take on the Lady Danbury story arc in this show. How she is in a marriage of obligation and how she realizes that falling in love is the way to have a better life/marriage. There's a moment where she says something like, "I do not know how to breathe air that he has not exhaled." And it's very poignant. When women realize that they stand on their own and are more than just their roles as a wife.
I have experience with an extremely traumatised and depressed partner who didn’t want to face his reality and at least try and go to therapy. Instead he pushed everything on to me and treated me, my friends and family badly. I could love and support him as long as he didn’t mistreat me. But I’m not willing to be manipulated, isolated, lied to, beaten etc pp just because I love someone with mental illness. What I’m saying is I don’t mind loving someone with mental illness but I do mind being with an abuser.
And after that experience I’m kinda careful and afraid of dating someone with mental illness since the abuse part came in a bundle with it :/.
This is completely valid. There are a lot of people out there who use their mental illnesses as their excuse to mistreat people or impose upon others. What I’ve learned over the years, it doesn’t matter what you have going on with you, it doesn’t mean you get to be an a*shole
As a person who has a mental illness anyone who is abusive and uses that as an excuse is a terrible human being. As seen with George he has a illness but he never puts a hand on charlotte.
I was not ready for this series to end when it did.
"Well now I'm crying! Sh*t!!!" Love you Jono
Please make a video about the TV show Fringe.
To some people i work with (nurse) i am the tv repair man and im happy to fiddle with the tv for a min if it makes it easier for them
Been waiting for this 🎉
I know this isn’t mental illness but I have ADHD and sometimes recently said something that basically implied if I have enough self-discipline I could cure myself.
Comments like that are one of the many reasons when my brother’s depression was really I bad almost no one knew. I didn’t want or need stupid advice from people who had no idea what they were talking about. I saw how much therapy helped my brother.
One of my therapists once recommended getting a tattoo to ground myself during ptsd episodes. I didn't have a tattoo when I experienced that trauma and it would have been to pull me back to reality. I never did it but the idea helped me start to think of other ways to ground myself in those times
What a wonderful piece of acting.
I cried so much watching you talk through these scenes. My husband has Bipolar and Panic DO, and I literally say “Come back to me” all the time when he’s gotten lost in the manic or panic induced images in his head. And when he first started experiencing his symptoms back in 2020, he would do the same thing as George where he’d try to tell me to leave him because he didn’t want to be a burden to me, which would piss me off SO MUCH because it wasn’t honoring my choice to stay and help him work through everything. It took years before we found good doctors, therapists, medication, etc., and we still have more progress that could be made, but I am grateful every day for sticking with him because he has made every moment and every tear worth it.
That being said, I will never judge anyone who leaves when confronted with a similar situation to ours. Things got so bad at one point that I had to wrestle with whether I needed to leave for my own mental health/safety, and the only reason I was able to get the help I needed while continuing to fight for him was because 1) we had really good health insurance for the majority of the time, and 2) our family and friend network were incredible and surrounded us with love, care, and support for every physical, material, financial, and emotional need we had. Neither he nor I could have gotten through things without them, so I can’t even imagine how hard it would be to have had to do that absent those things.
Thank you so much for this video. I already follow Cinema Therapy (and have been asking for a video there on this topic for a couple years now 😂), but I love this channel and feel very seen right now. Thank you for working to destigmatize mental illness and reminding everyone that people like my husband are human and deserve love, compassion, and connection like anyone else!
"she is with you" almost sent me over the edge.
"well now I'm crying" me too buddy
I just found your channel thanks to this video! Thank you, thank you thank you for the wisdom you're sharing through your videos. It's so appreciated!
I was really hoping you'd do this one!!!
Thank you for this. It made me feel seen and understood from both sides.
When I was 10yo my Grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
She lived with my family for the first 5 years.
It was a painful and terrifying experience. To watch someone you love slowly disappear in front of you. They call it "The long goodbye".
You learn these compassionate skills quickly.
To be patient and understanding as they go in and out of reality. To stay calm and steady while they are having an "episode" (for lack of a better term). To approach them gently and with kindness.
You keep reminding yourself that it's not their fault. They are suffering and this is happening to them. You try to separate the illness from the person.
You cherish the moments when they are lucid and themselves again, even if it's for a short while. You hold on tight to the love you have for them and them for you.
It's a hard journey. You NEED to have a support system including therapeutic support and people outside of your household.
You MUST take care of yourself. It's a marathon, not a sprint.
I've recently been diagnosed with Bipolar. I'm doing my best to take care of myself.
I'm fortunate, I have a support system of loved ones and mental health professionals.
But I still have the fear of putting my loved ones, especially a romantic partner, through any version of this. Or worse, losing a loved one because of it.
It's a complex journey.
Thanks for this. I often hide away bc of my shame and symptoms.
GREAT job with this video! Very honoring 🥰❤️
Yep… My fiancé has PNES brought on from a lifetime of abuse/trauma that’s led to CPTSD, depression, and anxiety. I was surprised to see this video and would love to ask if you’d be willing to go further into discussion for not only people with disabilities/mental health struggles, but also the mental health of caretakers/partners as well. Thank you for this video!
11:25 Speaking as a veteran and a former combat medic/ambulance medic while in the service: I would add that, while that CAN work, folks need to be patient and not get frustrated when it doesn't. It's so easy when someone is having some kind of episode to say the exact wrong thing (especially when you're just figuring out who this person is while they're like this) and set someone into a spiral.
As an example, I had a patient once who was having an episode and decided to drive. The man very nearly (but thankfully did not) killed his 1st Sgt's son by driving erratically down the street on base where top's family lived. The 1st Sgt was still there when we got there (he would have normally been called in anyway for something like this but as an advocate for the patient, not a bystander/victim) and pissed as hell but trying to shelve it. The guy said something like "let's just get the fire dogs to-" before he got cut off by the patient screaming about dogs eating his insides in a very graphic manner for the rest of the call. Nothing we said after that point had a chance of being heard, much less getting to him. Just 1 example.
queen sharlet is my queen every body should have a person like her in there life
As someone who struggles with mental illness, this was beautiful
I loved someone.
The moment I met them was the moment I knew, that something is off.
Fairly early I realised, that they have PTSD from Afghanistan.
And I CHOSE to stay with them. Very often I was more caretaker than lover, protector than beeing protected, giving love than receiving love.
And I endured all of that with the prospect, that they will get okay one day. Not super healthy, not mentally free from their nightmares; but okay.
And then I realisied, that there was something else. They never were happy with their body, how they looked and stuff.
One day they told me, that they dont want this life anymore (suizidal tendencies were always a struggle) and I just asked: "Do you still want to be "Name"?" And they said no.
They is a trans person. Born in the wrong body. They hid themself all their life because of fear and shame.
And I tried. 2 years I tried to live with the broken trust. 2 years I endured the torture of having my lover right before my eyes, but not beeing able to connect with them.
11 years passed since our first date. 8 years of struggle because of the PTSD, 2 more years with the understanding, that I've been lied to. That they hid from me out of shame.
And this last thing broke my heart. I feel like they never trusted me. I was just conviniently loving them.
So I broke up. I didnt chose this life with beeing with someone, who decided to become physicly what they is. A woman … not a man. And I still care for them. I still love them in my own way.
But I cannot let myself break all over again. And I would, if I stayed because I cant choose to endure another *second* of torture, having my lover right before my eyes, and not connect with them.
I cant.
I love your videos and find them so helpful and lot of the time. One thing I would like to mention is that I really wish you would add a trigger warning before the Saprea sponsored section. It took me by surprise and I was not prepared and I’m probably not the only person who might feel that way.
I love this show! Great analysis! I would really enjoy a video about Atonement (with Keira Knightley and James McAvoy)! There is so much depth in that movie!
The saprea add. I'm going to one of their retreats next year. 🥰
I have bpd and my boyfriend is bipolar so we help each other but at times we break each other down before we can build each other back up. Its been unhealthy before but things are getting better than they used to be through time of learning each others triggers and learning what helps the other to cope
I don’t think h therapy makes people weaker but some people do seems to use it as a crutch to remain weak and never get stronger on their own.
Heavily agree with this. I’ve met a lot of people (and have been guilty of this myself) where therapy had provided several “tools” to help manage symptoms but never bothered to give them an honest effort or practice their uses before experiencing a crisis. I personally wasn’t able to benefit from therapy until I accepted that I was going to have to make massive efforts and that mental relief wasn’t going to be achieved right away, but rather in small steps.
This is a very painful topic for me, as I’ve had multiple mental health disorders since I was a child. Even if you have a good handle on it, it will always be something you have to deal with, and I never want to be looked at as a burden, or something of a charity case (like the idea of, “aren’t you such a good person for taking someone with mental health issues on, it must be so difficult to deal with someone like that”). My own father has told me I’m not easy to be around a lot of the time. So I’ve just given up on any other close relationships, because I never want to have to feel like that with anyone else.
I have bipolar and this hits my soul, ugh. My boyfriend would defend me. I am so blessed. Bipolar ruins my life and I'm working on it for me and him. We feel equals and we support each other. When he says "you bring a light", YES. Also, therapy is definitely something we should do more.
Well... I needed to hear this. I'm sick but loved, and I doubt it daily. I try to control things about myself and my life and the life of those who love me so I don't end up alone. But I guess... whats the point in all that if someone wont chose to stay without my control over them.
I still don't understand them, I don't understand or trust any of this I just don't wanna be alone. But I have someone who cares enough to tell me this, I just need to listen instead of realizing it 3 days later without them present.