Gilmore Girls Gets Therapized Rory and Jess
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 มิ.ย. 2024
- Rory and Jess. What can we say? A lot actually! Watch this video to see exactly how I feel about Rory and Jess and what I think should have happened.
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00:00 Jess and Rory
01:00 Gilmore Girls Clip
03:00 If they are already in a relationship
05:00 Gilmore Girls clip
06:30 Deans overreaction
08:45 Red flags
14:00 Break off the old relationship before starting another
#gilmoregirls #mendedlight #jonathandecker
Jono here. I'm reading your comments and I love the passion! Please keep in mind that this is my first time watching the series. I don't really mind spoilers, but note that I'm reacting to what I'm seeing in Season Two here. I'm getting from you that Rory, Jess, and Dean all have arcs that may shift my perceptions later on down the road. Bring it on.
Also please note that while I strive to be a non-judgmental person in real life, with real people, sometimes I let that slip a bit for fictional characters. I appreciate you calling me out on it. Still, let's have some fun with this! I'll try to find the balance.
I'm not always going to nail it, but I'll try.
Came to the comments to say that seeing someone (especially with your credentials!) watch for the first time is incredible.
Please don’t ruin the fresh perspective, y’all 🙏🏾 💚
I’m going to get me a big bag of popcorn to watch your reactions to everything that happens in the next few season! 🍿🍿🍿
Season two Jess was a the quintessential misunderstood bad boy who was only good for Rory. Had they left him there, I would have outgrown that ship. As an adult, I empathize for Jess. His dad abandoned him. His mom couldn’t handle him. I don’t think he ever had anyone care what he did until Luke entered his life. I don’t think he ever experienced love until Rory. It’s obvious he craves the connection but has no idea how to honor it for a long time.
Its who Jess grows into that makes me love him. Dean was the best boyfriend. Jess grew up to be the best man, in my opinion. Logan… well, I will reserve my comments until you’ve had a chance to form your own opinion on that one.
I definitely think a lot of the comments are forgetting that you are going off of what you have seen so far, and not later episodes/seasons (which might change the judgment of the characters a bit.)
Try looking at Jess not as a jerk you knew in highschool but as a hurt teenager in your therapy practice. He'll be making many more mistakes, but he'll be doing a lot of growing too, and we're not here to hate on him. Please give him some grace.
Jess has the best character development of anyone on the show.
Rory managed to have reverse character development 😂
Jess and Emily - the only good things to come out of the revival 😆
Yeah!! By the end of the story, Jess is actually way too good for her.
@@Oceansongster Revival Rory is cringy AF. It's ok to see her struggle and it's actually realistic to have difficulties when you turn 30, but she's just a horrible human being.
Agreed. Yay for complicated characters like Jess and Emily. Actually I think both Rory and Dean reverse in character development
When the falling angel meets the rising ape...
You're not being too hard on Jess, but you ARE being too soft on Rory. It's her fault, too. She makes her own choices. You said it yourself, SHE cheated. Did Jess encourage it? Of course. But, he didn't force her to do anything. Sweet, Smart Rory chose to cheat on her boyfriend. You can blame it on hormones if you want. But, she still needs to take responsibility for her actions.
Did you notice that in the whole show she never once took responsibility for her actions?
Spoiler Warning ⚠️ :
First she cheated on Dean, then she drives Dean crazy so that HE breaks up with HER because she made it way too obvious that she had feelings for Jess and Dean wasn‘t having it anymore. The next day she and Jess get together as a couple. Shit goes down and a few seasons later, Rory loses her virginity to Dean who was married at that point. Lorelei calls her out on that and instead of thinking „Oh, dang it, you‘re right. I just had s*x with my married ex whom I cheated on and whom I left for another guy“ she goes „Mom, I hate you for ruining this for me“.
Then she gives Lorelei AND Dean the silence-treatment knowing that Lorelei‘s actually right about this and ignored both for like a month or something, just because she couldn’t admit that she did something very shitty. Then she „breaks up“ with Dean over a stupid letter which was found by Dean‘s wife and now he‘s getting divorced (rightfully so).
A few seasons go by again and now she has a rich boyfriend that had a few one-night-stands during their break so she decides to go visit Jess and kiss him as some sort of revenge act. She never told Logan about that and she only stopped being mad at him for „cheating“ (I don‘t think it was cheating because even I thought that they weren‘t together anymore) when he almost died jumping off a cliff with a malfunctioning parachute. 🤦🏻♀️
…And through all that she never once took responsibility AND was never held accountable for anything she‘s done!😫🤌🏻
@@alinelam5880Now that you're saying it, it might be because all her childhood she was treated like she has to be perfect, like she can never be wrong 'cause "she's so smart". And that can grow on you, making it harder to accept that you are wrong.
I can relate with her on that (never thought I'd say that about rory).
As an adult, I learned how to be accountable, but I still find it difficult to admit my fault right away. The first thing I do is flight response, and get to say sorry after a couple of minutes.
@@lavinianicolae9733
Yeah, there is still a difference between you and Rory, though.
I don‘t think Rory never admits her faults because everyone expects of her to be perfect based on her intelligence. They just expect of her to do the „right thing“ because she‘s nice and Rory feels entitled BECAUSE everyone has been telling her that she‘s smart all her life.
Proof of that is the episode in which Mitchum tells her that she doesn’t have what it takes to be a journalist.
Now, he didn‘t say it in an awful way. He was very polite, told her what he thought Rory was good at and wether he saw potential in her.
This might be an unpopular opinion but I agree with what he said to Richard.
„If she had what it takes then she would bounce right back from that“.
But instead she stole a yacht, dropped Yale and sulked for half a year before Jess came back to tell her that she‘s messing up her life.
And all it took for her to slip up like that was ONE guy telling her that she‘s not good enough.
Now about that „nice“-thing.
I think people expected of Rory to be that kind, aloof girl she had always been and I guess she liked being known for that so she started expecting the „right“ behavior of herself as well.
Being the other woman a man cheated on his wife with or cheating on her current boyfriend aren‘t things a kind person does but instead of admitting her faults and learning from them she just pretends as if they never happened so that she doesn’t have to face the fact that the image she drew of herself about „the nice girl of Starshollow“ doesn‘t fit her anymore.
So at some point her innocent and kind demeanor just seemed fake to me because she still kept doing the freaking wrong things.
She‘s sweet and cute on the surface but childish and selfish on the inside and that’s what‘s been bugging me about her.
@@lavinianicolae9733
And I totally get what you mean about not being able to admit my faults. I‘m similar but in the exact opposite way. 😂
I hate saying that I‘m wrong but I was raised\forced to apologize right after doing something stupid and I was raised/forced to accept every apology ever given to me even though I was still mad at them.
Saying „I‘m sorry“ hurts me so much and hugging a person that just hurt my feelings for the ten thousandth time and acting like I‘m not still upset about this hurt even more.
Everyone expected of me to be smart and intelligent but I thought of myself as dumb, foolish and stupid so I tried harder to become the smart girl my family was expecting or seeing in me with the constant fear in my bones that one day I‘ll be exposed as a liar. 😂🤦🏻♀️
Funnily everyone else that I‘ve ever met in my life also thought of me as highly intelligent while I‘m sitting there thinking „How the hell did they come to this conclusion?!“. 😂🤦🏻♀️
And if she did not care about the guy, she would not put this much effort to make him likable for her mom.
She would not bother.
You can not deny that Rory gives him mixed signals every time they interact.
of course he can. Shes perfect, remember?
@Zahok1 she's not perfect, far from it. She's just naive and inexperienced lol
@@gRinchY-op5vrsarcasm
@@gRinchY-op5vrI think he was being sarcastic lol
Everyone always gives Rory a pass for some reason and when I rewatched her character as an adult I realized how awful she actually was. She was young and that excused some things but there were many other things where there just wasn’t an excuse. And don’t even get me started on her in the short series they did. She’s unlikable.
To me this is an "everybody sucks here" moment. Rory absolutely liked Jess from the moment he showed up and left notes in her book. I think Dean is unforgivably possessive and selfish, but I think Rory's cruel for stringing him along.
💯
Yeah everyone does suck. But also remember that they are supposed to be in high school, I was definitely not mature at this age.
I don’t know that she was being cruel. She didn’t do it intentionally. She was young, and confused about having feelings for someone exciting but who didn’t at all measure up to all the things she likes Dean for.
Yes!!!! Thank you!
@@aleia4654 yes... and she had her mother constantly going "YAY DEAN! BOO JESS!" all the time, too.
I think Rory going to New York and missing her mom's graduation was one of her worst moves
The last 10 minutes of that episode is STILL so hard to watch as it’s just 💔
Oh man, I'm hardcore team Jess here, and I'm against that move. She couldn't have gone a different day? Literally any other day?
The only thing is that it gave Richard, Emily, and Lorelai a very cute moment that might not have happened if Rory was there, because she would have, understandably focused on Rory. BUT, still wrong for Rory to do
Also I think that it was a way worse betrayal of Dean than the kiss that lasted maybe 3 seconds.
And then on top of it forgetting her gift on the bus… like she screws up and manages to make it worse.
@@magma4168 yeah. The kiss was cheating and wrong, but it was like a spontaneous quick thing that she cut short. The trip to NYC had MANY moments where she could have stopped and gone back home, or rethought it and left early.
I think it's not fair to blame Jess for Rory's actions. Yes, he's flirting with someone in a relationship, but she is the one who takes the active steps to keep them close (getting Lorelai to hire him for the rain gutters, going on the picnic, going to New York, kissing him). So, why is Jess the corrupter and Rory's the mindless and innocent tag-along? It's the same problem with people blaming Jess, not Rory for the car thing.
And actually, Jess never did anything that could even be construed as cheating, he never tried to date Rory, he never tryed to kiss her, he didn't even told her he liked her, all those actions were started by Rory. In fact, when Rory came back in the 3rd season, Jess didn't even speak to her, he was dating Shane, it was Rory who got more and more jealous and agressive towards Jess due to him having a girlfriend even though she still had a boyfriend.
Exactly!
Jess is ALSO very young and very hurt
Not that I defend Rory for what she did but Jess did buy that picnic basket, constantly sought her attention, and annoyed her boyfriend on multiple occasions.
Actually, me, personally, I don't blame Jess, nor Rory.
I blame both of them, but, moreover, I blame the adults around them. Lorelai for being more a friend than a mother and expecting her daughter to raise herself up because "she's so smart", and Lis for being so deep into her own shit as to be absent of her son's life. Which is not to say they're bad people, or parents, or even that they don't have their reasons for being the way they were. But it is what it is and that's what got them there.
@Quel_Gontijo Lorelai warned Rory many times about Jess and let it be known what she thought of him. Do you not remember how she flipped out with the car accident? But she also knew that if she kept telling Rory not to be with him she would do the exact opposite
Oh, i can't wait to see later seasons get therapy.
I cannot wait to hear his reaction to Dean cheating on his wife
Same!
I mean I'm curious if he'll hate LH more or less. I'm guessing more.
Sameeeee
Oh, my sweet summer child. You will need many more flip flops.
^BEST COMMENT HERE 😂
🤣🤣🤣
My exact thoughts.
Yeah can’t wait to see what his reaction for last episode of season 4 🤣🤣😬
An important thing about the kiss and rory eventually cheating on dean is that she never learns to recognize the ending of a relationship when it comes along, she was no longer interested in dean long before jess showed up, but she didn´t had the maturity to end things or focus in fixing it, she just went along, she struggles with taking resposibility for her actions till the end of the show
It's her people pleasing and inability to stand up for herself. It is a strength when she's forgiving Paris, but it's a weakness with most everyone else. And it's not just boys. She can't ever tell her grandparents when she has a conflict with Friday Night dinner and always makes Lorelai do it - who eagerly compounds the problem.
I agree. Choosing Jess means going against her mum. That is why she was so desperate to make Jess get along with her mum. She can't make a choice for herself and honor her desires.
Rory could have easily resolved the picnic basket debacle by just inviting Dean to join them so that it wouldn't seem like a date, and Jess wouldn't get the satisfaction of "stealing" Rory away. There's no requirement in the competition saying the girl has to be alone with the boy. Sure she wants to uphold tradition, but I don't understand why she was so adamant about being alone with Jess.
RIGHT!?
I don't even think that was necessary; Dean wasn't jealous because Jess liked Rory, he was jealous because it was obvious that she liked Jess back. She could have been Jess' friend, no big deal, but dhe didn't like him as a friend and Dean knew it; I doubt Dean would have been jealous if Rory had become Dave's tutor or Brian's or Zach's, the matter wasn't that she spent time with someone else (there's nothing wrong with having friends), but that she liked that someone and lied to Dean about it.
I always thought that was such a dick move on Jess's part, but I always thought Rory should have let him waste his money and not go eat with him. I get that it's tradition and all, but surely there are exceptions when the person buying the basket is just trying to stir up trouble?
Exactly! This picnic, albeit TRadItiON, wasn’t that important. Rory went along because she had a crush on Jess, and she wanted to spend time with him, it was so obvious. Yes, Dean’s jealousy is super annoying but that shouldn’t have been the reason for Rory to not go, she should have just find another way out of plain human decency and respect for his boyfriend.
@@vanclemmons Yes. She went because deep down she wanted to, and Jess knows that which is why he keeps butting in. Dean I think knows Rory likes Jess too but he was willing to pretend she didn't for as long as Rory did....up until she makes it impossible.
You keep blaming Jess for trying to weasel his way into their relationship, which of course is wrong, but I feel like you're giving Rory a pass for going along with it. You, just like everyone in the show, see Rory as this sweet, perfect angel who never does anything wrong. But she didn't have to go on the date with Jess. She could have decided to stay with Dean, or bring him along to their picnic, but SHE CHOSE to ignore Dean's very valid concerns to be alone with Jess. And SHE CHOSE to kiss Jess. People like Jess who try to break up relationships are bad, yes, but the actual cheaters like Rory are also bad, and I feel like you're ignoring that in your analysis.
Yeah, you can't "steal" a person who doesn't want to be "stolen."
Not gonna lie, I find her crying at Dean's wedding in season 4 very...karmic? Like, yes he broke up with you but why did he break up with you again? Oh yeah, the dude you got with minutes after Dean broke up with you 🤦♀️
Totally agreed; actually, i'd argue that, even though it's not cool to cause pain to others by trying to break their relations, Jess never actually came on to Rory; if she wanted to handdle it like a friendship, there was a lot of room for that. Yes, Jess was flirting and messed with Dean, but there was nothing that could actually be construed as cheating aside from Rory's kiss, which Jess didn't start. And, to be honest, nobody should be so entitled as to expect the rest of the world to care for their relationships, Rory is the one with a boyfriend so she should have been the one with an interest in maintaining a healthy relationship, not Jess. The fact that someone wants to be with you doesn't mean they get to do it; if both Rory and Dean wanted to stay together, there would have been nothing Jess could do about it, so there is no point in blaming him.
@@Liilliithh I think generally, people should respect the relationships that others are in. But I do agree with you that if Rory truly wanted to stay with Dean, then Jess would be a non issue. But as often is the case with affairs, the outside person gets all the blame, while the actual cheater gets a slap on the wrist because they were "tempted" into it by the other person.
Well said! I can't wait to hear how he feels about Princess Rory as the show goes on.
Also the way Rory keeps invalidating Dean's feelings over and over again. I would be hella mad too
THIS!!!!! THIS!!! YES!!! Omg pls say it louder for the people in the back! Ngl I think she was lowkey gaslighting him. Especially in the basket scene
Exactly! This is why I don’t get why people think Dean is a jerk. He reacted to how she treated him.
“Well sh%T” 😂😂😂 I am loving these. Jess definitely has his issues, but THANK YOU for also acknowledging that Dean’s “nice guy” behavior turns on a dime the second he feels threatened. Dean is actually my least favorite partner of Rory’s in the series; he always felt smothering, insecure and disingenuous to me. Jess was not ideal as a boyfriend contender in seasons 2 and 3 either, but I think the writers wrote him in a way that wanted to hint at his potential despite his really difficult upbringing. That’s another point to think about with all these characters; how has their upbringing affected the way they treat others, trust others, and behave around others? Jess had to grow up fast, he doesn’t trust people and believes everyone in life with disappoint him. He sees Rory as someone genuinely intelligent, kind and caring; and someone he can relate to with his interest in books, etc. so of course he is going to be drawn to her. But I think a lot of his behavior is self-destructive; perhaps a bit of “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve this” with regards to having people like Luke and Rory in his life. Anyhoo just my two cents no one asked for lol. Please keep these videos coming! They are thoroughly enjoyable to watch. 😂👏🙌
Of course he was insecure, his girlfriend cheated/tried to cheat with every guy he has ever felt jealous of. Tristan, Jess and later Logan, EVERY time he felt that something was off was because Rory ACTUALLY liked those guys and was being shady. I dont think being observant and not want to be disrespected can be considered as being posessive
I agree! I mean come on, they are kids growing up doing what kids do. Everyone has a journey and rory is walking her stepping stones of life and lessons.
I absolutely love Jess, but I think many of us on team Jess agree that later Jess is top tier. For me, I feel like I can't help but love his past self because I know who he becomes.
Completely. I hated season 2 Jess on first watch, but in the end he does become the best match for Rory.
@@mareve2264 Yeah, but does Rory stay the best match for Jess?
I loved all of them because I get Jess. So much of the reasons why of his character was not explored on the show.
I honestly don't think it's Rory's "bad boy" phase, because Jess is not a "bad boy" he is a sad boy. A bad boy to me are people I've dated who literally tried to kill me and lack empathy on a pathological level. But even I can find empathy for them too, I just will stay far as hell away from them.
Jess would not actually hurt someone, he is smart, terrified, unguided, and constantly living in cptsd survival mode. He's the exact example imo of how some nurture can totally redeem a person who simply lacked it.
yess exactly a lot of ppl give their opinion on jess based on who he becomes later in the show but for this video at least we need to look at him critically at THIS time in the show
@@jenniferdaniels701
Hell, no. 😑
While Jess was maturing and heading for a great life Rory was still stuck in her teenage-rebellious phase…and kinda never grew out of it again.
I like that Jono says “Pretty good
green screen work” as it was a lovely reminder that the WB had a full sound stage that was the town of Stars Hallow ☺️
Amy Sherman Palladino + all who put in the time & physical labor to make her vision of this charming small town come to life deserve their flowers! And the cast deserves major props for being able to act like they were walking in the snow when shooting in warm LA weather 🪄💐
I was on the Warner Brother tour last fall, and it was so fun to see Stars Hollow!
It’s hard, because we only see the Gilmore Girls’ perspective, but as Rory’s arc progresses, we need to take a step back and try to be more impartial. I don’t think Jess is the only one to blame here
Wow. You said that Jess “got Rory to cheat on her boyfriend.” Rory has agency. She did this all on her own.
I’d love to see an episode on Rory at the end of the series. Is she really “sweet, innocent, and intelligent?” Does she change by the end of the series, or has she had character flaws all along that never improve with maturity?
We start by believing all the things the show tells us we’re supposed to believe about Rory, but the way it is written, her actions show us that picture isn’t really the whole story.
Can’t wait to hear your takes on Dean and Jess in future seasons, and future Rory for that matter! I definitely have issues with all three of them
Gilmore Girls broke Jonathan's brain 🧠 OH No!!!
Kidding aside, Jesse wasn't right for Rory at the time as a teen. He would have been better as an adult.
But we also know why that would have never worked either 👀
But, adult Jess is too good for adult Rory.
Here's my read. Rory has been a golden child her whole life - can do no wrong. When she didn't know how to respond to Dean's "I love you," he flipped out. And for the first time in a long time, maybe ever, she was made to feel like she had disappointed people. Dean yes, but also her mom. Maybe it's on a conscious level, maybe not, but I don't think she believes she is allowed to break up with Dean. She's had feelings for Jess for a long time, but nobody in her life is supportive of that, and she's torn between what she wants for herself, and her compulsion to please others. And when you stuff your emotions down that deep for that long in deference to other people's wants and needs, they eventually boil over.
Yes!!
I HATED how he acted when she didn’t say it back😒
I think a lot of us feel betrayed by Rory in the later seasons. I watched GG as a teenage girl and I was a high achiever and lived in a small town and was told by everyone around me that I’d do great things someday, which put a lot of pressure on me. I really related to Rory. And the so later on (without giving any spoilers), I felt very betrayed by her. She didn’t grow into the kind of person I could relate to at all. Now as an adult myself, I feel like she wasn’t fully held accountable or taught by the adults in her life how to take responsibility for herself. Jess, on the other hand, becomes a pretty damn excellent adult later on. I think a lot of us are looking at it from that perspective?
I think that's it. I never watched as a teen but had SEVERAL friends who did (we only had basic cable at home), and who were obsessed with it. I started watching it maybe 5 years ago, and could not relate to Rory whatsoever
To give Jess credit, in the last scene, he does not go up to Rory. He just goes to see her from afar. She sees him and initiates the interaction.
BECAUSE HE'S HOT 😂 Also because Rory grew up with an immature mother who she had to take care of an be the adult. So that's exactly the relationship dynamic she is used to - complimenting someone who is immature and taking them on as responsibility. And oh HE'S HOT btw... 🔥So from the very beginning to the moment of the kiss she was incredibly attracted to him.(And that's why we love the soft guitar music) And since she's always been the goodie-goodie making her lists, leading her life with her brain and not with her heart Jess symbolizes finally starting to du stuff for herself, out of passion or spontanious and not always so well-behaved. Jess is showing her a different way. That you don't have to be the perfect little girl in this perfect little town and live up to everybody's expectations all the time and you can finally do something just for yourself just for fun. Oh and did I mention that HE IS INCREDIBLY HOT??? 🤣🤣🤣
Oh and he has swag!!!!! :D
Yes you nailed this. Jess is a punk but he helps Rory stop being so anxious and she helps him be a better person
@@sarahburgess7306 yesssss :D
PREICH SISTA ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉JESS ALL THE WAY👏👏👏
Didn't Lorelai say something about "It's about time she had a Jess," as if it was a stage. She knew it wouldn't last, but Rory grow in an important way from it.
Oh to be a teenage girl in the early 2000s. As someone who has dated both a Dean and a Jess when she was 15, there is something to be said for chemistry mixed with immaturity. Absolutely wrong to talk to someone deeply when you're in a relationship, AND it can be intoxicating to find someone who you think "gets" you. It's simply thrilling when you're 15 and stupid enough to think you know best. Yes, my Jess broke my heart, but I'd be lying if I said it was all bad.
Jess is by no means without his faults, but Dean has major anger and control issues. While Jess can be a jerk, he at least isn't on the fast track to being an abusive partner. It's honestly pretty surprising to see you, a therapist, giving Dean so much slack while completely demonizing Jess
Yeah, Jess' relationship with the world is directly due to unresolved trauma from relationships, not antisocial personality.
Dean, however, is much too influenced by patriarchal ideals and needs to unpack that.
One needs some therapy, the other needs unlearning. Neither are pathological monsters.
So, the lying, manipulation, and communication problems that Jess had going on weren't on a path for an abusive relationship? I don't like Dean and can agree to his issue, but Jess had some major issues too.
@@msmarsi009 pattern of abusing due to pathological drive? no. toxic and or abusive behaviors exhibited occasionally that we're all capable of, yes.
The attraction to a Jess type is often that when they are a jerk to everyone but you, it makes you feel special, and makes the connection with the jerk feel even more special. Rory is also such a rule follower at this point in her life that there is a rebellious attraction to breaking the rules- whether that be just befriending someone the adults see as “troubled” or impulsively kissing him on the way to a wedding that her actual boyfriend is attending with her.
Rory is young and is attracted to her first "bad boy" which is something that I think a lot of us went through in our youth. She's not always going to make the right decisions (i.e. ditching school to go hang out with Jess in NY & missing Lorelai's graduation), but this is part of growing up. It's the first time she's met someone who shares her passion for books & music and that's exciting & intoxicating for Rory. I'm not saying she should have cheated on Dean, but the kiss was impulsive & took both of them by surprise.
I know you think Dean is amazing, but he's not. He is constantly yelling at Rory when he doesn't like what she's doing or a choice she's made, like when he was angry at her for not hanging out with him when she was completely freaked out about Harvard. He could have been understanding & tried to help her calm down, but instead he got mad at her for being scared about her future instead of spending tome with him & stormed off. And I know you did a video about this, but yelling & dumping Rory when she wasn't ready to say I love you was completely wrong. You can not be in the same place in a relationship & if you're with a good person, they will be understanding & want you to be ready to say it. Dean did not.
Jess may be a jerk sometimes, but he is also a kid who's was abandoned by his father at birth and then dumped by his mother in a strange town with an uncle he barely knows. She didn't even want him to come home for Christmas. He's hurt & confused and Rory seems to be the one person in town that "gets him." I attended 4 different elementary schools and 2 high schools & it was horrible basically starting over every couple of years, trying to adjust to a new place & having to make new friends, so I can totally sympathize with Jess feeling like no really cares about how hard this is on him.
Now I'm not saying he's at all innocent in messing with Dean & pursuing Rory while she is in a relationship, but Jess is not a bad person at heart. You are being a bit too harsh & you definitely need to ease up on calling him a monster...and maybe stop going out of your way to find something to throw at your laptop. Please remember he's just a kid trying to figure out his place in the world and, like your classmates at your reunions, he is still growing up. I think it's time for you to take Dean off of that pedestal you have him on & come join us over here in Team Jesse land. I think if you gave it a chance, you might like it.
Extremely well written "Team Jess" essay, and THANK YOU for not liking Dean, I honestly saw him as exhibiting the signs of emotional abusiveness and was not comfortable with their relationship ever. So even if it was maybe for nefarious reasons, I like that Jess helped Rory find independence outside of her relationship with Dean. So many young girls get into really enmeshed relationships with men young and that becomes their whole identity, that could have been Rory and Dean but for Jess.
Agree with almost everything, except I don't think Rory was into Jess because he was a 'bad boy'. She doesn't like his bad boy attitude at all. But she does like that he challenges her intellectually. Jess is supersmart and observant and he gets Rory better than Dean does, way better. Dean puts Rory on a pedestal to worship her and gets insecure and controlling because he secretly feels (knows) that she is above his league. Women don't actually want to be put on a pedestal, it's actually objectification, approached from the other side. Jess sees her for who she really is and likes that, which is way more validating than if someone sees you just as super perfect all the time and gets angry if you don't comply to his dream image of the perfect woman.
I'm not team Jess actually but he was definitely better for Rory than Dean was. I had a 'Dean' type and a 'Jess' type BF in the past and I can tell you the one I still have nightmares about is the Dean type..
@@FemkevanDrooge I agree completely with everything you said. Rory was absolutely attracted to Jess for his mind & the way he challenged her & understood her. I don't think Jess is a bad boy at all. That's just what Jonathan keeps calling him. That's why I put it in quotations.
@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 Thank you! 100% agree with your assessment of Dean. I always felt he was emotionally abusive to Rory and WAY too aggressive with any male that dared look in her general direction. The way he was with Tristan for example. At the dance, Dean was properly protective and did not try to fight Tristan when he attacked him. The "because I'll kill you" as they were pulled apart was a bit much, but overall, he was just trying to protect Rory. Cut to season 2 when Dean is actively trying to make Rory stay away from Tristan while they are doing an actual class assignment. It's too much!
@@jeden75 see i would disagree with this although I see where you're coming from. I feel like they completely changed deans character from the first half of s1 to the second half to "make room for jess." Like in the example you give at the dance, we see that when tristan walks up to dean, dean is totally calm and in control and not at all jealous/angry with tristan until tristan starts insulting and messing with rory. we see that he does get a bit agitated when tristan is insulting him with the "buggy and barn" line (but who wouldn't be) but he doesn't get physical or really aggressive/angry until tristan starts insulting rory and gets in her way (he slides his body close to her when she tries to move away, which is the point where dean actually gets angry and shoves him). To me, this scene is completely different to the one we see from the donna reed episode, s1 breakup, and then the tristan romeo and juliet episode (and then eventually jess).
Another point, dean always understood rorys references, and i think people forget that he was also a reader. In the pilot episode, he gets rorys reference to rosemary baby, and we see him reading anna karenina for her and then for a SECOND time because he didn't like it and rory wants him to try again. And you might say that this proves he wasn't a reader because he was only reading things rory wanted him to read, but that's false. There is also a scene where rory says to lane "see, dean likes jane austen." but then in the same scene, dean tells her that he has to read "x" author (I forget which author he mentioned). This proves that he is a reader, just not necessarily the same genre as rory, but he was always a reader and understood her book and show references.
Idk, overall the point I'm trying to make is that I think they completely screwed his character the second half of the first season t make room for jess the "new bad boy," because dean was originally that guy until they transformed him into this "traditional family man". This is why the dance ep in s1 is my favorite ep because its like the last time we see the actual dean for an entire episode and not just random clips and moments.
Wait and see, Jono, wait and see
SPOILERS BECAUSE i DON'T KNOW HOW FAR ANYONE HAS SEEN SO THIS IS FOR BOTH GG SHOWS
Jess is a great character for the antagonist reasons stories need characters like him, but what I love is that he has an arc that makes him one of the better chracters in the long run. I do find it interesting that it's both with Luke's help, but he has to be away from the damage he did in Stars Hollow for him to change for the better.
I think it's pretty common for early stages of recovery and change to be the most tumultuous and often damaging to those around the person in recovery.
@@stackels97THIS!!!
you screaming no was like the biggest reaction in a video i have ever seen from you :D
I can’t wait until he gets to season 4…. That’s all I’m going to say
There is a Jess moment in season 4 I'm not sure he'll be able to overlook. I always thought he was way too harsh there, but he seems to do a turn around pretty quickly afterwards.
@@eb7446 I agree but I was referring to Deans storyline from s4. Makes Jess from s2 look tame.
I can't wait until he arrives at famous line WHY DID YOU DROP OUT OF YALE??? 😂
About Dean I never liked him he was always too controlling and petty and jelous.
@@Silvia71025 he’s obviously gotten to the episode with the lost bracelet and I wish he had reflected on what I always found disturbing which was Rory’s reaction to discovering the bracelet is lost. She looks scared and panicked. If he was this awesome guy that doesn’t happen. I’ve lost my wedding ring before and never acted like that. I don’t think that a good boyfriend makes his girlfriend feel that anxious about losing a gift. Not to mention Lorelai’s vastly inappropriate confrontation of Jess in that same episode.
Me sitting here watching Jon get frustrated with Jess knowing that Jess ends up being the best option later in the series 🤦🏼♀️😂 Yes, early Jess has a *lot* of problems but then Rory herself becomes more problematic with Dean and later Logan 🤮 I think you’ll be very surprised with the direction they take with Jess as the show goes on. After watching the ENTIRE series, I’m definitely #TeamJess
#TeamJess
Also #teamJess except Rory sucks in the end so he deserves better lol
I'm #TeamJess, but that's also why i don't ship him and Rory; he's too good for her.
If we’re going by the entire series, Jess is probably my favorite character by the end. I don’t think him & Rory were right for each other. They have great chemistry, but they’re never in the same life stage where it would make sense.
[SPOILERS COMING]
I think Rory has some issues with loyalty in all her relationships & has a “grass is greener on the other side” mindset that she never really overcomes (even ignoring the atrocity that was “A Year in The Life”).
Jess is just a younger luke the creators of the show confirmed it. Logan is Christopher.
Every male abuser is “the perfect boyfriend until they feel threatened or insecure”. Dean is a walking red flag here.
I’m convinced Rory and Jess are the right person, wrong time trope. At certain points in their lives they would compliment the other at a different time. Throughout the show one is usually at their low while the other is at their best and the timing never really lines up for them to make it work.
i must stand up for Jess in this, he is questioning everything Rory knows because she was in a bubble and he sees that, he is allowing her to think for herself not what everyone else wants or thinks for her. He challenges her in a way no one else can, he has his own mental health flaws he struggles with but he is probably the most real out of all of them.
Based on what's transpired so far, I agree with you. Having seen the whole series plus the revival, well..... I'll just wait for you to see the rest.
I dislike Dean more because he hides being the “nice guy” exterior when he allows his anger, jealousy, and insecurity to rule his behavior. It started long before Jess entered the picture and I can’t stand him. At least Jess never pretends to be something he’s not
Concur. Jess lacks wisdom. But Dean lacks wisdom and self-control, which makes him feel unsafe. None of the three are mature enough to be in a healthy romantic relationship at this point, but even watching this back when I was a kid, the Dean relationship went from sweet to sour pretty quickly.
@@denizday7785 yes! And when Rory wants to spend the night alone while Lorelai is at the spa with Emily, she’s worried Dean will be mad at her and his response? “I’m not mad. I’m a saint, but I’m not mad.” No Dean. You’re insufferable, but you’re definitely not a saint.
Can’t stand Dean.
He’s controlling and scary from pretty early on, and Rory panders (the whole Donna Haye night 🙄).
He sulks when he doesn’t get his way, plays the silent treatment, or is flat out angry.
Red flags galore.
Exactly. Dean is a walking red flag that screams “future wife beater” to me. Jess is only slightly better though.
Oh Jono, back in the day I did a massive facepalm at the kiss to Jess too. I was Rory's age when I saw that...
If Milo Ventimiglia ever looked at me the way he looks at Rory, I'd forget my own name.
Considering all the crap that poor kid went through growing up, the fact that he can let his guard down with anyone amazes me. He's a punk, yes, but we can see that his good heart is buried in there. Yes, it would've been better if he had waited to date someone til after he worked through some issues but this show isn't about logic. As Lorelai wisely said, "I'm afraid once your heart's involved, it all comes out in moron."
Watching this as a teen when it aired was epic. I was thrilled for that kiss!!! I thought Dean was dumb and boring and controlling and she had to walk on eggshells around him. Jess was fun and lighthearted and SMART and gorgeous and the witty banter was everything. I had a boyfriend just like him and he treated me like a queen. His annoying jabby humour kept me interested and always amused too. My parents were terrible and he paid me all the attention I never had. Rory barely gets to see her Dad and Jess is a lot like him honestly, so I'm not surprised she wants Jess' attention and attempts to insert himself into her life. I've watched this show several times over at different points in my life and I always relate to different characters each time. It is a truly timeless show.
Thank you! Jess was a total jackass while living in Stars Hollows. I watched this show as an adult and I grew up around guys like Jess so i never got his appeal. His relationship with Rory really made me question her judge of character. How someone treats others is a better indicator of their character than them just treating you decently.
In the end, I don't think Rory every truly learns how to be in a healthy functioning relationship and I blame her mom.
fr, i hate the "he hates everyone but you trope" like that's such a red flag that you cant be nice to other people (slippery slope). also I like when the characters have female friends, just shows emotional maturity in my opinion
I love your GG videos! I can’t wait for your insight into college Rory
For me, the Jess allure is based on future seasons. Jess at first was not good for Rory. His not around dad and barely around mom messed him up. But as he grows up(with Luke’s help), he grows as a person and turns into a good guy. That self-actualized Jess is who I’m rooting for. I am interested on how your Jess feelings will turn out in the end.
I would loveeee to see a part two of this as you progress through the seasons and see characters develop, esp when Luke and Jess go through their ‘self help’ thing, I think it would be so cool
I'm surprised as a therapist you don't see how toxic Rory and Dean's relationship is. I do a yearly rewatch every Fall of the show, and the more I watch it the more toxic it seems. I've never been fond of Dean as a character, and I am Team Jess out of all the choices available to Rory throughout the series. I will say, Jess certainly has his issues as a teen, but deep down his heart is in the right place. He has a troubled home life and acts out inappropriately at times, but he is a teenager. Teenagers tend to rebel. Not excusing poor behavior, but it has to be looked at in context. Dean is like that southern gentile church lady who says "Bless your heart" and then stabs you in the back. He is controlling and manipulative whenever his feelings get hurt and he flies off the handle all the time. Granted Jess also acts poorly, but he never treats Rory the way Dean treats her, and she has so much more in common with Jess. I think as you make your way through the series you'll be able to see it more clearly. Okay, rant over lol
I’m also wholeheartedly Team Jess but I wouldn’t go as far as to say that Dean and Rory have been toxic together. In fact, I think Dean has been very tolerate and compromising with Rory in their relationship. He went to Friday night dinner to meet her grandparents where he was criticized and belittled all evening, he escorted her at her debutante ball even though he really hated it, he always waited for hours when Rory went book shopping, he even read books for Rory even though he didn‘t find books interesting, he argued with her grandpa just so he could gift her a car - oh yeah, he even BUILT a car for her from scratch!
Just like Jon said, Dean only becomes controlling, possessive and jealous when he feels threatened and insecure. I kinda find it extreme that he also gets jealous of things like Harvard but I still understand where he‘s coming from. When you feel like the other person doesn‘t love or care as much about you as you do them, you feel hurt.
@@alinelam5880 Also let's not forget that when Dean said "why did he buy the picnic basket" her response was maybe he just want to eat....She often invalidates his feeling. And Jess and Dean have one thing in common, when they're angry they are passive aggressive angry
@@T.016
Exactly. 😂🤌🏻
POSSIBLE SPOILER 4 JONO@@alinelam5880 Also how any guy cannot be jelous of Jess if this was real life? He was constanstly (?) trying to get on Dean's nerve knowing his insicurities, if this was reversed Jess would be hella mad. I'm not team Jess or team Dean, but because Jess's actor is Milo often they tend to forgive him eveything. Did we forgot that he tried to have s...x with her when she said no??? I agree with Jono, he should've been a friend to Rory in the exact moment she was Dean is my bf and I'm happy with him
@@alinelam5880 Also Luke telling Jess she has a boyfriend don't go to her was probably bc he knew she's unexperienced and most of the time doesn't know how to turn jess down. Ofc she has her faults like kissing Jess and don't tell Dean, but it's not like Deam is jealous without reasons. And ofc it's not ok what Dean does when he's angry
Can't wait for you to go through the whole series and then go back and critique these early reactions!! You have so much material here to analyze and I'm here for it!!
I really think you missed the point with missing the scene with the car crash with Jess. From that A) I think it is pretty clear that Rory is more aware that she is wronging Dean and isn't just being 'led on' like when she confronts Taylor and Lorelai for basically suggesting she is victim of Jess and B) Jess clearly shows he is upset and worried about what went on and probably would never have even returned to Stars Hollow unless Rory visited him in NY given how the incident played out. Yes Jess is in the wrong for pushing something with Rory but he is also possibly pushing for one person he feels he can relate to and it seems infinitely clear from what he has been through that besides Luke in later episodes he has never experiences knowing anyone his own age or older that he can talk to given his compulsive reading and listening to music in order to be able to sleep. It all appears to be a way to avoid the potentially traumatic reality he was raised in and find a different perspective. I know we shouldn't make excuses but an even allocation of blame for the disruption of a relationship feels more appropriate in these interactions.
I have never disliked Lorelei more than watching her over the top reaction to the car accident and subsequent disregard of Luke’s panic for Jess. Could not stand her for that whole arc
Jess is very flawed, but he gets better. I am eagerly awaiting the Christopher video...
Ooo that will be a good one!!
Jess makes his intentions clear. Rory is responsible for shutting him down and reassuring Dean of their relationship.
I love Jess. He’s my fav out of all the boyfriends for Rory. Why? I love amazing characters arcs/character development in tv shows, movies and books. That’s all I’ll say #nospoilers 😊
I’m really not appreciating the Jess slander and this has nothing to do with me being a Jess fan or me wanting him and Rory together because I’m too grown and don’t care about that anymore. I just feel like there’s not enough compassion and empathy for Jess’s upbringing. I’m sorry, I’m from the bad part of NYC. We don’t grow up the same way people in cushy small towns grow up. We grow up FAST. We’re on our own at a young age. It’s a tough environment. Jess didn’t do anything criminal. He was bored and found a good chunk of what he was seeing around him to be nonsense or ridiculous, which is how most city kids would view Stars Hollow. He’s literally a TEENAGER. A high school student. And he’s not being given the grace of understanding as most city kids are not. I don’t like it! You should view Jess the way you would view any other child who had a non-traditional upbringing. Not only that, but Rory and Dean are NOT perfect. Far from it. Even early on in the series, Rory was not Ms. Perfect. So I don’t understand the notion of Jess not being “good enough” for her. She wasn’t without flaws, she just had a better upbringing than he did. Dean also was manipulative and had a bad temper. Jess grows IMMENSELY as you continue watching the show. All he needed was love and guidance. He found his way. Let’s allow teenagers to grow and mature!
I agree with this too. Jess has had a lot of issues growing up and Dean definitely shouldn’t be put on a pedestal just because he’s the first boy Rory’s ever dated
@@hillarymead I relate to Jess because I also grew up in a bad part of NYC and I moved to a small town in CT (but I moved here as an adult) and honestly, I see nothing unrealistic about Jess’s behavior. Even as an adult, I’m side-eyeing the heck out of some of these small town shenanigans. He acts completely normal for how a NYC teenager would act and my friends from NYC who have watched the show all agree with me. I feel like hating on Jess really shows a lack of compassion for the many, MANY young people who grow up the way he did. Like of course he’s going to act like he doesn’t like Rory and mess with her all the time. Many urban kids don’t grow up with happily married, working, ever-present parents in their home and learn how to share their “feelings” easily as children. We are known for being sarcastic, non-caring, and unemotional but we care deeply and love deeply and we eventually figure it out. Jess had to find his way, as Rory will also have to do. Just because their processes are different doesn’t mean it’s the “wrong” way.
I agree with this as well. I don’t understand why there is so little understanding of what his character’s upbringing was like and how it’s affecting his behavior. He was moved against his will to a small (and let’s be honest, ridiculous) town where he literally has no one to relate to except Rory with their reading. Of course he’s acting out! He’s a kid and needed someone to step in who actually knew how to help him. And yet Dean got a pass for his reaction to Rory after he tells her he loves her because he’s just a kid??! Gimme a break
@@signalfire15 I also like that he’s not trying to make everyone like him. I was brought up in the “cute” small town atmosphere in the south and was programmed to constantly care about how we looked and question what people thought about me. If you weren’t a perfect religious family, then the whole town would treat you like a problem(exactly how Stars Hollow treats Jess). It’s taking me YEARS to deprogram that; to stop pretending to be something I’m not just to please others and authentically be ME. Jess is himself all the time whether you like him or not and I respect the hell out of that.
Couldn't agree more. Jess is my fav character of the whole show. I have pda and I find his character relatable as someone who might also fit the pda profile.
He's not perfect but is real and authentic and is still a child. He matures and grows in terms of how he communicates and treats people. But he was always real and authentic and honest. I always see him as a good person, never a jerk. I see Dean as being more guilty of what mended light is accusing jess of - Dean is controlling and manipulative and a liar as becomes increasingly obvious in his marriage which he treats lindsay appallingly.
Jess isn't nice to lorelai or some other people but he tends to mirror back what he gets. Lorelai was so disrespectful to jess from the outset, why should jess go out of his way to be 'nice'. Jess is not 'nice' but is genuinely kind. Lots of the 'nice' characters don't have jess' level of genuine kindness when push comes to shove.
It was a sweet moment, if you hadn't shouted over Jess talking about his mom not wanting him to come home.
This is my favorite video you've ever done. PREACH!
The "what makes you think I care about you?" is flirting. It's smart and banter and it's very hot xD
That line killed me 🥰
@@spiicyliime22 same xD it became very hot suddelny!!! haha
I’m going to add some commentary only based on Season 2.
Rory & Jess have great chemistry. This is not a setup for a good or healthy relationship, but one with a lot of physical & emotional intimacy.
I have definitely been in the situation of dating men I knew had extremely red flags based solely on chemistry. Chemistry is one hell of a drug with rose tinted glasses.
I will say that Rory is also complicit in not shutting down Jess outright. Jess is doing wrong, but so is Rory. Rory is a people pleaser who’s afraid to disappoint anyone or confront her own feelings.
Yuuuup. I had a "Jess" in my life several years back, and even though I knew it would eventually go down in flames boy was it a lot of fun in the meantime! I literally felt like I was walking on electricity when I was with him. Absolutely wild emotional + physical chemistry. If we weren't both so dysfunctional it could've been something amazing, but alas. We live and learn. I'm still grateful for the experience because it was a very exciting time in my life and I gained some valuable lessons about relationships, even if that particular situation was doomed to failure.
I really would be interested to see you revisit rory and jess once you finish the series.
*Rory is not good enough for Jess* I said what I said
💯
🎯
I love these videos! I for sure want to see you reacting to the entire thing as much as possible 😊 it's so much fun like watching something I like with someone who hasn't seen it yet 😊 I really hope you are staying away from reading the spoilers 😅 great videos either way! 😊
THANK YOU! Maybe it's because I first watched GG as an adult woman, but I could not (cannot) STAND Rory & Jess's relationship in S2-3. It just gets so much worse, I'm sorry to say.
Now, granted, Jess does grow up eventually and becomes a decent person. But as a teenager, Jess was the worst.
You are so right! 100%.
Agreed! Which is why so many of the commenters should give Jono a break, because they have the benefit of hindsight and he is literally reacting to the first time watching this season! His reactions absolutely make sense for the context.
:) oh my..... we will have so much fun watching you react to upcomming things - watching it as a teen was def. another story :)))
I like what you said after the first clip. I’ve got a crush on my best friend, but she’s got a boyfriend. I’m happy for her, but a little sad for me. But I still love being her friend and being in her life, and respect the relationship. If they break up on their own terms, yeah I’ll probably throw it out there, but I’m not going to be the reason they break up.
That's cool that you can still be friends, but I hope you're not putting your own dating life on pause in the hopes that your friend and her boyfriend eventually break up.
@@queencleopatra007 I’m not, I’m open to dating other people. There’s just no one else hot & nice simultaneously at my school 😂
I hope that if you ever do throw it out there in the future, her earlier actions support she would be interested and/or she IS ACTUALLY interested because I know several girls (myself included) who had that close guy friend that “shoot their shot” after a break up, and it ends the friendship. Why? Because it immediately feels as though the foundation of the friendship was laid from deception & ulterior motives. Being our friend was just part of a long-con to get with us.
On the other side of the coin, a friend of mine who did date the guy friend after a break up did not last long. The main reason was he tried to control who she hung with as he thought every guy friend was just waiting for their chance with her, just like he did.
@@Authorrlee I understand what you’re saying, and I’ve had that happen to me before so I get how it feels. Though I want to clarify that I’m a girl. And I’ve been her best friend for the last two years and only started liking her about six months ago, when she was already dating the guy. I really fought the feelings at first, because I didn’t want it to ruin the friendship, but had to accept that the way I felt was the way I felt, and I’m just trying to enjoy the good feelings I have around her and respect the hell out of her relationship.
I don't...
I don't think it's a green screen...
It isn’t ☺️
It isn’t ☺️
The thing is... Rory wanted it too. She has been for quite some time at that point.
That said, your middle age dad disapproval energy towards Jess is on point 😂
Team Logan all day (I know you haven’t gotten there but I’m sure you’ll disagree with me)
I cant wait until you get further along in the series. I want to hear what you have to say about my favorite love interest. I'll keep tuning in! :)
YES!!! OMG, I love all the comments I've been read in these videos. I think I found one of the few YT channels comments sections with an abundance of empathy, logic, and understanding. Continuing to binge videos!!! 💚
It’s so funny seeing you react to this! You’re being such a Dad to Rory.
Love it!!!
Jono, first off, I love all your videos! Watching your "Mended Light" and "Cinema Therapy" channels are my go-to comfort media! THANK YOU and please keep doing what you are doing! You are doing a lot of good for many, many people!
Secondly, I agree. Honestly, I don't like any of Rory's love interests. She would be better off being a strong independent woman, and if the right guy came along then great! I personally believe that being single is better than being in a relationship with a person who is toxic for you. Although, I do get that teenage hormones does make that challenging sometimes. Without revealing anything, get ready for some more sandal throwing! Haha! I very much have a love/hate relationship with this show and I am sure you will see why soon! I'm looking forward to seeing your reactions as you continue to progress through the series!
I'm not trying to defend Jess exactly, but there are a few things about him that you do need to take into consideration, like the fact that his father left him as a baby and his mum has had multiple different boyfriends, as well as been pretty neglectful with him, he even says in that episode where he rides on the sleigh with Rory where he says that his mum didn't want him to come home and Luke had to lie about it to make him feel better, he's an angry angst kid who hasn't been treated well by people in his life allowing him to get away with whatever he because he doesn't have a lot of discipline from his mum, she reaches a point where she thinks it's better for him to come and live with Luke and Luke has to put in a lot of work to get rid of this moody grumpy facade that Jess put on, you're right that in season two and you could even argue season three Jess is not right for Rory, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't eventually get there something you always need to remember is that there are a lot of teenagers out there especially depending on how they've been raised and very good at communicating and do a make a lot of bad decisions or have a lot of red flags, but what you need to understand is that if Jess had never gone to live with Luke he wouldn't turn into the person that he becomes by season six and you not up to that season yet and again I'm not trying to excuse Jess's behaviour in the earlier seasons but when it comes to firstly who he was raised by, where he was raised i.e. New York and who he surrounded himself with he was in a bad place before he went to stars Hollow and while it does take a while Luke shows him that you know he can put his walls down and he can open up to people and every season he gets a little better he's still a little moody and distant because that's just his personality you know he's quite stoic, but all of the rudeness that he has towards people does eventually go away and you have to remember that the reason he's like that is because he didn't want to come to stars Hollow he's mad at his mum he's mad at Luke he's basically just mad at the world he's in a really bad place and season two he gets slightly better in season three but as a teenager he just doesn't have the emotional maturity to be what Rory needs a lot of people grow out of things like that and again it depends on the environment and how they're raised and this is not me excusing his earlier behaviour it's just me saying to you that the character is written is very common to a lot of kids with single mothers who don't pay much attention into them or you know they don't really want to listen to other adults they think they can do whatever they want because they haven't had much discipline and so Luke has a lot of work to do to make Jess into a good man and even Rory has a lot to do to turn him into a decent boyfriend and. Right now Rory thinks she can change Jess and Luke also thinks he can help him but it's not until much later when Jess basically loses what he had that he starts to change a little bit, it's hard to explain but it's the case of like people can put in the work and they do put in the work to try and change him but You can't expect someone to change especially when you're in a relationship with someone they have to put in the work themselves and that is what happens with Jess people keep pushing at him from all sides to become a better person but he doesn't become a better person overnight and it takes him time to Become better because he has to do a lot of reflecting on his past behaviour it's like they build all the bridges and he has to connect them all together but like I said that takes time because underneath Jess is a good guy he just has so many walls and so many barriers he thinks acting the way he does like you said will protect him likeit did in New York he's from New York he created that like persona of being this really tough guy and he's shifted it over to stars Hollow and he hasn't let his guard down because he doesn't want to get hurt and he's just a very complicated character.
I’m just ready for you to get to season 5 or 6!
I was just watching the Limp Bizkit at Lollapalloza Argentina video 🤣Loved the intro! I´m a Jess fan and, even though he wasn´t that great as a teen, I´d loved to know your opinion about the A year in the Life character´s evolution.
I'd just like to say, that no amount of sweet-natured, on paper goodness can compete with shared interests and values. Admittedly, Jess's values take a long time to grow.
I'd love to help you understand, but this is a conversation, that takes much more than just a written comment (maybe to check if there is some projecting on our boths side ;) )
As a teenager i was very much "Team Jess" (admittedly for some unhealthy teenager reasons) during the first seasons,
and changed to "Team Jess-is-way-to-good-for-Rory" during the later seasons (and stayed in that Team until now (age 29, future therapist))
Videos like this make me wish, that video answers to youtube videos were still a thing :)
I love that we are reviewing this 00series in 2024😂❤
My new favorite channel 🤣
I think the problem is the we’re debating which guy is best for Rory when we should be talking about Rory. I don’t think she’s a bass person but she’s making a lot of mistakes. She may be naive but she’s not innocent.
💯 Thank you. The debate is always who is the best for Rory and never focuses on all of her mistakes. I’d argue that throughout the series, Rory isn’t as great as we are told she is, and more importantly, doesn’t learn from her mistakes.
14:42 💀The first time I heard you say that Jess wasn’t good enough for someone as good as Rory, I thought, oh… this man is in for a rollercoaster ride👀😂 I can’t wait to see your reactions and hear your opinions as the seasons go on! I don’t want to say too much since you’re watching for the first time so I’ll leave it there
THANK YOU Jono! Very few people I know watch Gilmore Girls, and the few who do are all team Jesse. I can't stand him for the reasons you list. It is a toxic relationship. The nail in the coffin was the bracelet event. If he had integrity, Jesse would have given it back, especially when seeing Rory upset, in person.
I think season 3 is going to change a lot of how you feel about Jess, and put his behavior into context. I also think the later seasons will really change your perspective about their relationship. I’m team Jess because despite all of his problems and bad decisions he knew and understood Rory more than anyone else
Oh, this video is going to age BEAUTIFULLY
I'm so excited for you to go on the journey of seeing the show play out. It's really fun to watch your reactions as a first timer. The characters are definitely complex and all of them have their flaws, which makes it so enjoyable. I'm definitely teamJess, but that's after seeing the entire series.
Hello? Rory could pick up on Jess' screamingly obvious tactics and cut him off at the pass. She doesn't. She does deserve him if she eggs him on like this. Jess deserves better.
I’m loving this. I’ve watched the series many times and I felt exactly how you did at the beginning. Once you are done I’ll be curious if your opinion changes. I don’t think you’ll die on that hill afterall.
I can't wait to see your reactions to Jess later on and at the end of EVERYTHING. Personally I've always been team Jess. Though I agree his actions in the beginning when he first enters the show are not good; I also could relate a lot more to him than other characters since our childhoods were so similar. I think that is what makes him like catnip. You get those glimpses of his softer interior and it gives you hope and makes you want to be the one that can sneak under his skin and draw that out of him for other people to see. I was a super angry angsty teen with an attitude problem because that was a defense mech. If I kept other people away or was scary enough, no one would get close enough to hurt me. To make someone who sees the world that way feel safe enough to let you in, makes you feel really special. Though if they aren't ready to do the hard work of healing those old wounds, it doesn't make them a safe person to allow close, yet. The allure of Jess is those glimpses you get of who he is deep down, that he hides from other people, and what could come out if he dropped that angry facade. It is his potential that makes him so attractive, where as Dean is much more "what you see is what you get", and then you have to ask, if this is it, is that good enough long term?
"They are selfish punks who will stay selfish punks until life hits them very hard." YES! As a former selfish punk, people sticking around and trying to get me to be nice to them never worked. I just doubled down on the punkishness. What worked is losing the people I cared around because they stopped playing my games and left. That was the hard hit I needed to change.
Hi!! I love your videos, thank you so much for analyzing couples. Could you please talk about Na He Doo and Baek Yijin in the serie 25-21?
I'm going to give Jess a pass here on only being nice to Rory. Jess has been abandoned and mistreated by every single person in his life so far, so he has big massive walls built up. He comes to Stars Hallow and the only people to treat him with kindness is Luke and Rory. He's wary about Luke's reasons, is it only because he's family or does he actually care. He could also be cautious around men because of experiences with moms boyfriends.
But, with Rory, there's no baggage. She's just kind to him because she cares. She's the first person to care for him for him. He is able to lower his walls for her because he knows he's safe with her, where he's either not safe or feels unsafe with others.
Yes, he definitely needs to do some healing, and Rory should not be saving him, but I think she's the first person to show him he's worth more than he believes he's worth.
****Spoiler****
This is why I'm team Jess. He is flawed, he leaves because he knows he will only hurt Rory if he stays. Then he works on himself away from Rory. And, not for Rory, but for himself.
@3:35 oh how interesting that you brought this up lol smh cant wait for later seasons. Also i appreciate you calling Dean out when he should be.
I'm also tired of people not acknowledging the fact that this one mistake was a foreshadowing for what comes.
i am SO excited tk see you react to season 4 ep 22
Thank you for saying that Dean is a good boyfriend as long he is not threatened and how he behaves. Also pointing out the difference between attraction and love. I always try to explain to people exactly those things !❤ But I actually have the biggest issues with Rory often being described as an innocent, passive bystander although she is very active and does decide to get in all those situations but does not accept the consequences. (Which is totally a result of Loreleys parenting and the town never holding her accountable for any of her actions) And I also yelled no! at the music and no! at the screen when she kissed him! :D
I cannot wait for you to get to a year and a life of Gilmore Girls and tell us what you think of Future Jess. Please, make it there.
If this version of Jess is all we ever got, I'd be right there with you. But after the conclusion of the series I'm team Jess all the way. I'm excited to see your reaction to his (and Rory's) character development!
My answer to why does this appeal to people is 1. wanting to feel special; 2. this I learned later - not being modeled a healthy relationship by the adults around them at younger ages; 3. it's presented as appealing or romantic in media. I used to find this type of person alluring and attractive and I only saw the reality much later.
Part of the issue with the show though, for me, is that they started the relationship with making Dean have some similar interests to Rory and then wrote those things out when Jess arrived to make him and Rory have more in common. Also, the actors for Jess and Rory were dating in real life during filming. Their chemistry is undeniable.
I had my own Jess in high school, a punk rock bmxer; he would pick me up from places on his bike and I would stand on the pegs or ride the handles. He liked my book smarts and straight edge rebellious energy; I liked his "eff authority" mentality and goofball antics. He was fun and exciting, helped loosen me up some. But, that came with other baggage and it was a lot for a teenager to handle.
We kept in touch up until my early 30s. We still had a lot of fun when we would meet as adults, like snow shoeing on golf courses in a white out , camping near beaches and building sand castles all day, and late night hours long car cruises just to star gaze at the most perfect places.
But, hes right, you better buckle up with a Jess, cause too many never resolve their trauma or issues with therapy.
The life highs that a Jess type can provide mean nothing when they are unable to show up in other ways that count, stuff like reliability, stability, and integrity.
And its hard to let that go. Took me nearly 20 years to set the final "no contact" boundary with my own version of Jess.
Hahah I can’t wait for Jono “to die on this hill” about Jess later seasons and the A Year of a Life. And also I do think while acknowledging some wrongs about Dean, Jono has him on a pedestal of sorts. And also… I don’t think at all that Jess would have started to pursue her more IF SHE DIDNT GAVE HIM SIGNA OF PROBABLITY, yes she was nice to him like she is nice to everyone and kind and considerate, to everyone and to him, and he could tell. But like making a lot of more effort to flirt with Rory and having small moments, it’s a thing of too, since the beginning she was captured by his mind and keep wanting to be around him unconsciously at least and she enjoyed that. All the little eye moments and smiles was because she got at least… interested. I think she stayed way too long with Dean just because that was what was expected of her. And also I don’t think Jess would have come back to SH if Rory hadn’t ditched school and went all the way to NY to see him and hang out.
14:42 well said! Thank you!
I think teenage me and adult me were thinking about the show differently. 😄 I recently rewatched the whole series and a year in the life and my thoughts on the show have changed as I’m older and know more. But I still enjoyed watching it again!