My goodness. I am so sorry to everyone who has gone through so much with toxic mothers. My mum was so kind and soft-spoken(she passed away when i was 18 years old). She was such a wonderful lady even my teenage friends loved her because she always told them how beautiful they were. My mums name was Peace. She was such a peace maker.
Let’s normalize not telling people “But she is your mom” When they open up on how their mother wounds hurt;I had to cut mine off after I realized her “love” for me was just attached to money and what i could give her
Omg!! Wait wait wait!! First of all, congratulations for even chartering this taboo, unspoken, mucky, sensitive waters! We have come a long way as Africans! Our mothers and grandmothers could never! Even a lot of us could never! We will die with our wounds! 😂😂😂 We will heal through you! Thank you ❤
It’s funny how when we try to talk about these things our mothers think we are just being dramatic. The gaslighting and manipulation goes on until you actually feel like the difficult child
Weh this is sooo close to my heart my biggest bully is my mum - I went no contact for 10 yrs tried to think about things from her perspective and forgive her for she did what she had to do for us to survive - so I reached out to her but nah that woman never changed she’s the same , I pour my heart out to her and how her actions made me and still makes me feel , all she says is I did a lot of things for you, even married an ugly man for you 😅 then she proceeds to ask for money . I pray I heal because am not bringing kids in this world until I heal because I never want to bring a child in this world and make them feel like I can’t be their friend !!
Thank you for this episode. I am raising my daughter with so much love, simply because this is all i know. I come from a house where mom showed us so much love. People in my community would always say that we are spoiled since my mom is always nice to us. In my mom's world view, her children come first. Mom was brought up by her grandmother, her mom did not/does not love her as much, however, my mom chose to parent differently, she chose to show love to her kids even though she didn't get it from her mom. Becuase of her good choice, she was able to pass on the button of love to me and my siblings. My daughter is three, and i expect her to pass on the same button. We can break the chain, we can undo, we can unlearn, there is no excuse.
It’s mindblowing When you realise you have a good relationship with your mom because you live by her rules, cannot make decisions without telling her first because your mind has been conditioned to be a people pleaser. It’s a humbling moment.
I started crying as soon as clicked the play button, personally my mum put me through alot,she wasnt there for me both Financiallyand emotionally,I had to beg her to buy me even a 50 bob pads...School opening days were a night mare,I almost dropped out of school. She used to drink so much alcohol and I would be left with so much shame in the neighbourhood not forgetting that I would be left taking care of my siblings...The list is too long MOTHER WOUND is not a joke. I have a daughter now and I am raising her in a way that I wished I were raised.
Went through all this I even dropped out of school for a whole term but my desire to go to university and make it in life I luckily aren't back to school on and off but never made anything for myself helping for 15 years for my younger siblings and her but later she said so much
Reasonate with this Pole sanar for what you went thru firstly My mum is a severe achololic that would pull the" I love you so much card my kids " but would also continue to do things weve discussed are hurtful and degenerative,she never listens to my opinions and always made me feel like my cousins (who were working and waaay older than me to support their mums) were better childten than me Tell me why u should support her lifestyle of overdrinking ,living way above her means abd expecting everyone else aka me to pay up I remember my first corporate paycheck, we bith withdrew the amount together,abd she ended up taking 95 percent Leaving me to ssk her for fare even,to go to said job the following month, the amount of times ive cried myself to sleep ,and cried with her but nothing changed is messed up So i moved out Never been happier To this day I cannot sleep over at my mums house,i recall the traumas and go back to my place So i can never trust her despite her "being my mum" and always pointing out that nitapigwa kiboko for condemning her actions
Mothers can break you in ways you can't even imagine. Like Lydia, I was a very emotional kid. I don't know how to hide how I'm feeling. To my mother, though, that was being childish if I'm crying or rude if I am angry about something. I couldn't just be a child. I went to boarding school when I was 8 years old, so we don't really know each other. She doesn't know me at all. She called me the devil and wished death on me severally. Like I grew up knowing I'm the devil. Out of her four kids, I am the one who never met her approval. She did her best to compare me with all our neighbour's kids telling me i should be like so and so all the damn time. My dad, he took us to good to schools. So, I worked hard and got a job immediately after campus. Didn't tamarc. She started to see ni kama nitakua mtu sasa. Should have seen her remorse telling me I won't die like she had said and telling me she takes back everything she ever said. Left home in 2016 after I got the job, and now she was fighting for my attention akiwa amenyenyekea kabisa. I was so wounded. My dad went through some financial struggle around the time. Not that he wasn't supporting the household, but income wasn't that much because he retired. So, I had to step in. And every time I received her phone call, it became about money. My stomach would turn every time she needed gas or sijui what. The story is very long because this woman even swore she'd never come to my house. Ati sitawai muona kwangu. Eventually, I went to therapy. My therapist took me through processing that wound. It's a work in progress. You never really heal, especially when you still have to deal with said parent. She is the type that will never admit to being wrong or will blame her upbringing or my dad. It's always something but her. I try to understand that her childhood was hard, but that is no excuse. Ladies, have kids when you've dealt with your demons. I feel like my mum in their days they only got kids ndio isemekane they are married and have kids. It wasn't about being good parents... I guess my mum is the reason why I didn't wanna have kids. When my daughter came this year, I knew I couldn't fail her. I have to watch my mouth, my feelings, and how I communicate to her. My mum is now living with me since I gave birth in March. I try to look past her. I know I will heal in motherhood. I will make my daughter my friend and she will never be alone. I love it here.
My mum is the kindest I know it. She is my cousins favorite auntie and the auntie who would come through for her nieces if they made a mistake of even becoming pregnant. On the other side, my sister and I feel we don’t have such an auntie and definitely not that type of support from her.
Note to self: I feel so blessed because I am not able to relate to this conversation at all. 🙏🙏🙏. As a family we had many challenges growing up but always felt so surrounded by love, reassurance, and encouragement growing up. Even when things were very bad and we were navigating one crisis to another, somehow mum helped us find ourselves and have a sense of balance. I thank God for the gift she was to our family. May she rest in eternal peace.
Am sorry to everyone who has gone through a traumatic & unhealthy relationship with their Mum😢we see & hear you & wish you healing. There's no shame in loving someone who's causing you pain from far.
I applaud myself for leaving my toxic, abuser and an alcoholic partner when i was 5 months pregnant. My worry was raising my daughter in such an environment. We are now happy and living our best lives here in Germany. Thanks TMI.
Hugs to everyone who has mother wounds.. I grew up knowing that am a failure, just because this is the insult my mom kept throwing at me.. Little did she know that me dropping in class performance was because of the step dad she brought in my life.. Years later I made it in life(medical officer now). Have tried to spend money on her, to earn her love and acceptance but it hasn't worked. Am in my thirties, yet she will still show me hate on my face. This really hurts, I decide to love from a distance, tho I cut communication completely. I started my TH-cam channel, have talked about this, Alhamdullilah am healing
This is such a much needed episode. I applaud everyone that has come out to speak about their mother wounds and especially those who have chosen to cut off when their peace of mind was compromised, we are really evolving as a society. My mother wound spans back to my high school years when I would fall sick and she would say I am pretending :) or that I needed to take up certain subjects forcefully or I was demanding. This made me closer to my dad who was way empathetic and took me to hospital whenever this happened. I always ended up going back to school same day just to avoid my mother's remarks. While these are not substantially significant, I matured and came to acknowledge that the woman was going through alot back then mainly driven by the marriage and overwhelming financial demands. We have a very good relationship now and her empathy is just out of this world. I am not sure whether I want to tell her about it someday, but I am soaking in how much love and care she has for me and my siblings now. Our lives certainly changed and she does not have any toxic trait.
The title just triggered me in a million ways. Been to therapy about the same issue but anytime people talk about mums, a random wave of sadness hits me. Hope with time I get to heal this part of my life.
I needed this ❤ my mother will never take accountability for her actions and the pain she continues to afflict on her kids and husband (recently recovered from cancer). The cancer didn’t stop her from continuing the toxicity in-fact it heightened it…WILD. It’s hurtful and reflective of her own mother wound and self hate. She refused to get help instead we swing from understanding mum to hurtful & manipulative mum. I’ve tried to go no contact but since having my baby it’s hard (she wants to be a Cucu etc.). Man, it’s so complex.
What i can say is THANK YOU GOD FOR HEALING MY MOTHER WOUND. I turned 30 this year and am so happy knowing i HEALED, 3 years now not talking to my mother and i have peace.
Dr Anita Phillips says "The way you treat the child inside of you is the way you'll treat the child in front of you" Listening to this shows how much hurt people can hurt people. Our mums have mother wounds themselves, unfortunately, the trauma is passed on to the next generation. Also if you have struggled with father wounds, mother wounds are hard to acknowledge. You struggle with one parent so your crave for attention, affirmation or validation goes to the other parent. So acknowledging that your one present parent also has flaws can be really hard.
This is the episode that I have been waiting for. Growing up i never had any memories with my mum nor stayed with her, I'm a victim of childhood trauma and torture from my step mom. Fast forward to my Uni days i was like let me look for my mother and get to ask her what really happened so that can know her side of the story to see if it was different from what i was hearing from my other relatives, NO it wasn't different she is selfish and not interested in knowing if i was tortured or not. I tried to throw myself at her for like 4 years as my colleagues would tell me "THAT'S YOUR MUM NOMATTER WHAT FORGIVE HER" but deep down as a child i was getting pained for her not loving me back until I decided enough was enough and decided to cut off her in my life for good. This is not even a tip of what i wanted to write it's a hell of 4 years. I regret looking for her, i would have let things be the way they were. Greetings from Uganda.
My body issues and eating disorder comes from my mother. Always has a -ve comment about how I look. From my hair down to my feet. Also, my self-talk is extremely critical. My therapist asked me to identify whose voice it is that I've adopted as my internal voice. It's my mom's voice
I think for most of us women our self-image comes from our Mums. A comment from your Mother is not just a comment, it cuts deeper. So sorry about what you've gine through.
I once watched parents apologizing to their children for whatever they had put them through while growing up ...they said they didn't know any better...i loved that and i think that's why most parents should do but unfortunately they haven't changed one bit
I came here to laugh and be happy only to cry the entire episode and leave sadder than before i pressed play🥺🥺😭😭😭wishing everyone going through this lots of healing
Damn! Growing up my mum was so tough on us, if something went wrong, my explanation was never considered but then as a kid I lied alot too, but obviously there are times I wasnt lying. She exposed my weaknesses and mistakes to others, being a teacher, she would ask another teacher to beat me for something I did. With time, I resented our relationship, that as working woman right now, I feel weird when she expresses her care, concern and love for me. It feels really really weird. Hopefully, I can overcome this
Hi ladies, firstly you look gorgeous. This episode couldn't have come on a better day. I needed this. Ive been married for 3yrs but every time i call my mom to let her know I'll be coming to visit for a few days she always come up with something that will just stop me from going home. One time she told me, instead of me coming i should just send her the money that I'd have used going on there. I told her yesterday that I'll be coming in the course of the week , early today she called saying.. everyone in the house has caught a flu(homa) so she doesn't see it as a good idea if i go because I have a 3yr old baby. I feel so bad , wondering why my mom doesn't want me as bad I want to be with her. Ever since i got married, she has never even asked how im doing in my marriage or how i am personally. Were 4 siblings, all sisters Two are abroad, they're the ones close to her heart. My mom sees us as failures, she believes those abroad are the best. I haven't talked to my elder sister who is abroad for like a yr now, my mom is aware but she's just okay. She even sometimes stirs the pot. She'd tell my siblings not to help us (financially ) instead she the "most deserving" than us. We're siblings yet so apart and it breaks my heart that my mom is just okay with it. My mom never introduced us to any of her family members. I don't know my relatives, yet as siblings were so apart. It pains. So much.
why have I cried through this entire episode tho?😭for my mum, for myself as a single mum and for my daughter, the introspection you have triggered is a lot. Thank you for this really
It has been a long journey I no longer feel attached or indebted to her, in fact, I ignore her calls and money requests. It hasn't been easy for the better part of my life. Your own mother rubbing it on your face you ain't no better than her boy kid who is a mama's boy right now lol. As I look back I'm so proud of myself for choosing me and seeking help to be a better mom to my future kids. Mother wounds its one of those traumas that never go away it's a constant reminder not everyone deserves to be a mom.
The introduction part 😢as a young mum am working on myself so much to heal from my childhood traumas so that I cannot subject my son my own traumas,I shout alot ,I tell like a dinosaur I think I have to shout so that my son can listen to me since growing as a child,i was shouted at etc,I mean it's alot ,I just want and need to heal so much
I relate a lot..this is me with my babies...what gives me comfort is I'm aware and I try to be the best version of myself so that they do not have to go thru what I went thru as a kid
I'm crying all through the episode 🥺 I don't even have the words to type what I've gone through with my mom. I just wish I didn't have to know her 😔. May God give us grace through our mother wounds.
Mine I don't know if it's a mummy wound but I always feel really let down by my late mum. She was diagnosed with HIV when I was around 8 years old and she died in 2010 when I was in form two. I didn't grow up with siblings because i had two and they also died with AIDS while still really young. My dad died in 2003 too. So being alone and now having to move in with the extended family was such a tough thing emotionally. Because I barely knew them too well. My mum refused to take her ARVs and she ended up becoming too sick until she died and I always felt she would have pressed on for me, I was in the age where a girl needs her mom. Yet she gave up on herself. I suffered through so much emotionally over the years.
This is a very powerful topic that’s very uncomfortable to a lot of Africans who have created this beautiful picture of their lived experience and fear to criticise their parents.
My mother wound comes from my mom passing away when I was 3 years old. I remember feeling abandoned by her..I suffered in the hands of stepmothers and longed for my mother and she wasn't there.😢😢😢😢
This is the conversation. I hate my mother she has always been jealous of me. I've tried to be a well mannered kid amongst all my siblings. She has said extremely hurtful words to me over nothing, tried to stab me. Hide food from me at my worst. Talked I'll of my partner when he passed on. Really traumatized me and turned everyone in the family against me. She is disgusting 🤮 and I don't care what happens to her in this lifetime. Let's normalize cutting off our toxic parents without feeling guilty.
Commenting b4 watching because I was home the other day and thinking how I need to detach from my mom's struggles because I. Can easily inherit them and think that it is my identity.
Can we kindly have a part 2 of mother wounds? I feel like most of us still have more to share and listen about our mothers,,,then we can also have more issues on our abusive moms discussed
I've really had tough relationship with my mom she believes that the way to success is through education and not being able to reach that level she wants me to has made me go through emotional torture ...every tiny mistake makes her say all kinds of names even to the point where she says she will curse me ... I really feel depressed and pray that i will heal and forgive her one day.
I think the worst kind of mother wound is a "broken"mom who uses the Bible, especially for manipulation 😢. I was counseling a lady(46 years) who went through mother wound ie the constant comparison to other ladies in the village, she was abused by her mothers uncles and the mom pinned that on her, the constant you're not beautiful and noone will want you etc. As she grew older, she couldn't express herself because she didn't have a safe space. She would never dress like a (lady) and so many other things. Come to marriage, she married the 1st man who told her she's beautiful, which ended after 3 years, especially because of hyperindependence[trauma response]. The lady gave birth to a girl who she raised the same way the mother did. She had to be separated from her for like 6yrs as she fell into depression. She acknowledged she wronged her daughter and paid for her therapy sessions. Right now, they're still navigating their relationship. She cut off her mother as they couldn't have a healthy relationship. yes, mother wound exists, and it affects all other relationships around you.
Moving with my phone to the bathroom because of the magnitude of the topic it's just crazy,thank you for discussing such uncomfortable topic it's so insightful.God bless.
The quote at the end, that Murugi mentioned, does indeed hold true. Makes sense. The *parent that was all about paying bills, as an adult you tend to sort them with "sending them money". Then there is the parent who you want to see, be around every chance you get, and that is the parent that was around more. Great episode as always.
@@lifewithwambuimuthaka whether it is healthy, is a different story, but it is a caution to parents that they will be treated in old age by their adult kids same way they treated the kids when they were growing up. If you wish to beat stories with your kids, practice that when they are growing, as the bond and ability to do so doesn't just magically appear.
This episode really healed me, especially when Lydia said that your mother wound impacts how you show up in society, I have always been in a cage and this affected me so much in corporate because I could not communicate well in/during meetings, I didn't know it's as a result of the mother wound I carry, my mom is so mean to me, she is actually a bully and narcissistic, everybody loves her but the things she tells me😢, In all honesty I don't have a single good memory of her showing love to me. I started my own business but she has constantly broken me down, sometimes when I need financial support she is to vile to me. I was evicted from my house but before that I requested her to pay the rent for me, she just buried her head in the sand for 2 months, I've been squatting at my sister's place and this also brings the dynamic of how hard it can be when your mom is mean to you but good to your sisters, my sisters actually told me I am the problematic child. Everytime she holds meetings that somehow turn into an attack towards me, my sisters and her sit and throw hurtful words at me and when I speak she shuts me down and my points are never heard. I really hate that I get to have this thorn in my flesh and I can't wait to have a life independent of her. This has really ruined my relationship with my sisters who I love so much but now we have drifted because I am painted as problematic and the one always stressing mom. I'm so glad we are having this conversations, one day I will talk about how a mother wound affects your corporate life.
Love this episode, lots of helpful information as a mum to daughter I have learned a lot. One thing though as your top fan who is battling cancer at a young age am abit disappointed to hear a comment about cancer here. We are trying to lean on a positive side and finding hope, your show has provided comfort and distraction from the pressure of the diagnosis but that comment 😞. Saying this from a point of love.
Lots of love and hugs your way,,,you are a conqueror❤,,,you have articulated yourself well and I'm sorry that happened,,hopefully its observed henceforth
I don’t remember the last time I ate food cooked by her which is soo sad Even when I travel to the village I go and cook for us!! You don’t want to see how hospitable she is with other people.. I dread going home
The biggest pain my mother gave me was abandoning me for whatever reason. I’ve come to terms with forgiveness and accepting the past. I hope she’s doing well, I love you!❤❤❤❤
My mum is a good woman... but boy has she done a number on us. As a teenager if I refused to wash dishes she would say I am proud because I passed KCPE. That pride comes before a fall. I am an ambitious person but I fear tapping into my potential because I was punished &shamed for my achievements so much. Every mistake I made was associated with my passing exams.
Is this true? I’d want to know more of this coz it validates my experience. When I started my healing journey I thought I was healing abandonment issues caused my dad who was not around half the time but I realized it was actually a wound from my mother ( who was there all the time btw) that had caused me abandonment issues.
I don't know how I landed on tmi last month on TH-cam but my mum and sisters are so addicted. What makes this show great is how Lydia and Jo just don't feel like they are putting up a pod cast lights out go your way but how sweetly they feel for each other,their connection,I need such a friend,you just flow and most of all your always looking good.Jo is soooooo beautiful.Guysss stoppppp I can't get off TMI,I hardly sleep. Never seen such a great connection.Do a podcast of how to handle a Lydia and Jo addiction hahaha
I didn't know my mum as much,I grew up with my grandma and only stayed with my mum for two yrs before she died, everybody adored my mum ,my only regret is that I didn't get to experience that with her. She was a favorite aunt, daughter, sister and cousin. I never got to experience her as a mum.😢
My mother would stems from my mother staying in a abusive marriage until now. (same as Murugi's Mum) breathing through the episode 🥺intense but thank you for this episode.
I heard the opening and I went through the same things. I was called a prostitute at 16, told I’d get infected too. Shamed, humiliated, neglected and I feel like I parented myself most of my teenage life till this point. Things are always swept under the rag and that’s how it has been. Maybe that’s where I get my fear of getting kids.
My mum has her days but General speaking she's a good mother. For her, I feel like things she's said are out of ignorance or because she thinks its okay since they grew up in such environment bila kuuliza maswali. But my sisters and I have learnt to call her out if she says hurtful things. Good thing she gets defensive but eventually turns around. Another thing is my mum likes kutambuliwa. Some of her choices led her and dad to be in debt. We paid those debts when we started working. Just from that I fear debt yaani. But now sometimes even now she has this lifestyle she expects you to help her keep up.
At almost 24, I had a child, had to be sutured, down there. I opted not to for I was traumatized through out the pregnancy and child birth. My not being sutured got to be known by many people, aunties, sisters and strangers. It's for sometime been used as abuse to me. At 40, I'm expecting my 2nd child. I'll have a nurse hired to be by my side. No relative. That way what ever happens to me, down there is really left down there.
If people could live twice, i could come back to my mother😊Am sorry to anyone who has been wounded by their mum😢 May God bless mine may she live long enough for me to pay back all she has and still doing for me
I haven’t seen my mom for 6 years, she constantly asks me to go see her and I keep saying I’ll come. But in real sense she’ll NEVER set her eyes on me in this lifetime, I’ve grieved her while she’s alive (any function I have she’s not invited), third parties will be dealt with accordingly, I’m in the healing process and she’s blocked everywhere 💯!
when i ask my mum why she was stayed with a man that was abusive to her and us she says she was bewitched, asked her why she was cruel to me and she pretends she cant remember or cries crocodile tears to make sure the conversation ends there...i still talk with her cz i feel pitty for the way she suffered as a single mum. i was quick to move in with a boyfriend just to escape her wrath and our relationship is only better now because i have some money but i constantly grieve for my younger self
I was literally crying through out the episode from the beginning to the end😭, I got so emotional,and that’s just bcz I havent yet healed from the mother wounds i have, at some point i decided to forget about them and completely block everything, but from the tears i shaded after watching this episode I definitely need to do something about these mother wounds cause they run so deep, i had to pause the episode just to cry 😭, sometimes i wish my mom would have done better when she had the chance at this point how do I even start the healing process with my mom when we are not even that close, i wish she was my first best best friend in my lyf before others, but she ended up just being a mom and not a friend ❤️🩹
Yoh, this debate is sooo healing. However remember one thing, the battle is not against flesh and blood, for those of us who also experienced paranormal levels of abuse, these are generational demons, the real enemy isn't visible to the naked eye. Evil spirits need bodies to operate on earth, and their domain is infiltrating bloodlines, if your mother doesn't abuse and curse you to bitterness and depression, those spirits in her will have nowhere to go and their legal right on earth will be revoked, they need bodies and narcissist parents are vessels for them to cross over to the next generation. The plan was to curse you to make room in you for the same spirits in them, and then by cursing your own kids, yet again they would have crossed over to the next. If you were able to escape the pattern, you are the curse breaker. Narcissism is no mental illness, it's demonic possession. May God strengthen us all.
I nearly took my own life because of my biological mother ! 😅 fact is she wanted me to suffer the way she suffered and me living my life pressed her and still does 🤭 after 10+ years of no contact I gave her a chance to meet me and she messaged me. I’d night saying she won’t make it 🙆🏿♀️ am on the verge of changing my number and cutting off completely - am I wrong for this 🤭
It is perfectly okay to cut all contact with a parent who is harming you. Write her to let her know you can no longer sustain this relationship because of xyz and cut off
I like the awareness this platform brings. My mother wounds is in two folds. First, my bio mum died when i was 14yrs. We are two siblings and my brother was her favourite. We were not close until on her dying bed which was a week to her death. I loved her so much and still do. There is a shame i used to carry because as a child we were not close and I thought it was my fault. Thanks to therapy i know that I was just a child. Secondly, my step mother when she cane to our lives few months after my mum's passing, I over compensated. Few years down the line she became very manipulative and narcissistic. On the outside people know her as good but in the nuclear family we see her for who she is. The most painful part is to see my dad going through the emotional abuse and doesnt want to leave her. We rarely talk with my step mum and I lost all love the teen me had. I miss having mummy-daughter conversations but i think i will have them with my daughters, inshallah.
I just know I have a lot of healing to do because how is it that I can relate to 90% of the comments? My mum was and still is my biggest bully. It's even harder when you still depend on her because I'm under her roof and depend on her for a lot. I'm still 19 but she keeps telling me to go sleep with men for money if what she gives me isn't enough
I am honestly at a crossroads of emotions at 34 and it hurts that I still can’t afford the therapy I need. Mother figure made me and broke me in equal measure. She gave me a life (took up all responsibilities) but this came with harsh words and terror….So imagine being grateful to them and hating them at the same time! I will heal IJN🙏🏾
I don’t if you’ll see this or if @TMI has a way of getting this to you. I’d like to sponsor one therapy session for you under Kes 3500, it may not be everything but will get you started.
Khaiii!!! You are awesomest!! (If there’s anything like this 🤭) Woiyeee Poleni to those dealing with the pain. Poleni sana. How we pray and hope to be better mothers please to the next generation.🙏
My mum always trauma dump. Please help me out. Recently she wanted to walk out of her marriage. Being the supportive me I was their emotional, mentally and physically. One day she just said of how my dad raped her after her fibroids surgery. I actually can't face my dad.It so traumatising plus my mum is back to her marriage. She does this toxic dumping of her past to all of us. My dad also does the same and it is getting to toxic for me.
Therapy to her not for sane people like her and she condemnes us every time when we tell her to get therapy. Her therapy is religion and a lot of negativity.
Start setting some boundaries. It's will not be easy, and she might be resentful at first, but don't cave in or feel guilty. Pray too, God to redirect her to someone else.
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My goodness. I am so sorry to everyone who has gone through so much with toxic mothers. My mum was so kind and soft-spoken(she passed away when i was 18 years old). She was such a wonderful lady even my teenage friends loved her because she always told them how beautiful they were. My mums name was Peace. She was such a peace maker.
Let’s normalize not telling people “But she is your mom” When they open up on how their mother wounds hurt;I had to cut mine off after I realized her “love” for me was just attached to money and what i could give her
Same same she showed her colours after l left a toxic marriage. Having nothing to give her became a reason for insults from her.
What a precise statement!! I did the same, no regrets whatsoever.. Sending love to you
Well said! The best thing is to cut off, then mourn the loss and start healing.
Well done for the tough decision.
@@Lily_muthengi You guys are just miserable and sick... talking about your own mothers like that
@@Lily_muthengiThank you,Therapy really helped to see things clearly,I wish her well from far
Omg!! Wait wait wait!! First of all, congratulations for even chartering this taboo, unspoken, mucky, sensitive waters! We have come a long way as Africans! Our mothers and grandmothers could never! Even a lot of us could never! We will die with our wounds! 😂😂😂 We will heal through you! Thank you ❤
First things first, Jo's dress is giving.
It’s funny how when we try to talk about these things our mothers think we are just being dramatic. The gaslighting and manipulation goes on until you actually feel like the difficult child
Weh this is sooo close to my heart my biggest bully is my mum - I went no contact for 10 yrs tried to think about things from her perspective and forgive her for she did what she had to do for us to survive - so I reached out to her but nah that woman never changed she’s the same , I pour my heart out to her and how her actions made me and still makes me feel , all she says is I did a lot of things for you, even married an ugly man for you 😅 then she proceeds to ask for money . I pray I heal because am not bringing kids in this world until I heal because I never want to bring a child in this world and make them feel like I can’t be their friend !!
Your mom maybe be narcissistic. She won’t change you have to change by protecting yourself etc.
Ati she married what?? 😂 😂 😂
😭😭
Sending hugs❤
Wait she means your dad is ugly? Aki I don't want to laugh
Thank you for this episode. I am raising my daughter with so much love, simply because this is all i know. I come from a house where mom showed us so much love. People in my community would always say that we are spoiled since my mom is always nice to us. In my mom's world view, her children come first. Mom was brought up by her grandmother, her mom did not/does not love her as much, however, my mom chose to parent differently, she chose to show love to her kids even though she didn't get it from her mom. Becuase of her good choice, she was able to pass on the button of love to me and my siblings. My daughter is three, and i expect her to pass on the same button. We can break the chain, we can undo, we can unlearn, there is no excuse.
It’s mindblowing When you realise you have a good relationship with your mom because you live by her rules, cannot make decisions without telling her first because your mind has been conditioned to be a people pleaser. It’s a humbling moment.
It is indeed! And the knowledge changes the relationship dynamic forever if both parties do not purpose to heal. 😢
That has been me for a very long time and it's now that I'm learning to be independent in my thinking.
❤
Then do you even know who you are if you only do what your mum approves of 😮😮😮😮this is sad
@@gladysnakiguli5693 this!
I started crying as soon as clicked the play button, personally my mum put me through alot,she wasnt there for me both Financiallyand emotionally,I had to beg her to buy me even a 50 bob pads...School opening days were a night mare,I almost dropped out of school.
She used to drink so much alcohol and I would be left with so much shame in the neighbourhood not forgetting that I would be left taking care of my siblings...The list is too long MOTHER WOUND is not a joke. I have a daughter now and I am raising her in a way that I wished I were raised.
Went through all this I even dropped out of school for a whole term but my desire to go to university and make it in life I luckily aren't back to school on and off but never made anything for myself helping for 15 years for my younger siblings and her but later she said so much
Reasonate with this
Pole sanar for what you went thru firstly
My mum is a severe achololic that would pull the" I love you so much card my kids " but would also continue to do things weve discussed are hurtful and degenerative,she never listens to my opinions and always made me feel like my cousins (who were working and waaay older than me to support their mums) were better childten than me
Tell me why u should support her lifestyle of overdrinking ,living way above her means abd expecting everyone else aka me to pay up
I remember my first corporate paycheck, we bith withdrew the amount together,abd she ended up taking 95 percent
Leaving me to ssk her for fare even,to go to said job the following month, the amount of times ive cried myself to sleep ,and cried with her but nothing changed is messed up
So i moved out
Never been happier
To this day I cannot sleep over at my mums house,i recall the traumas and go back to my place
So i can never trust her despite her "being my mum" and always pointing out that nitapigwa kiboko for condemning her actions
Mothers can break you in ways you can't even imagine. Like Lydia, I was a very emotional kid. I don't know how to hide how I'm feeling. To my mother, though, that was being childish if I'm crying or rude if I am angry about something. I couldn't just be a child. I went to boarding school when I was 8 years old, so we don't really know each other. She doesn't know me at all. She called me the devil and wished death on me severally. Like I grew up knowing I'm the devil. Out of her four kids, I am the one who never met her approval. She did her best to compare me with all our neighbour's kids telling me i should be like so and so all the damn time. My dad, he took us to good to schools. So, I worked hard and got a job immediately after campus. Didn't tamarc. She started to see ni kama nitakua mtu sasa. Should have seen her remorse telling me I won't die like she had said and telling me she takes back everything she ever said. Left home in 2016 after I got the job, and now she was fighting for my attention akiwa amenyenyekea kabisa. I was so wounded. My dad went through some financial struggle around the time. Not that he wasn't supporting the household, but income wasn't that much because he retired. So, I had to step in. And every time I received her phone call, it became about money. My stomach would turn every time she needed gas or sijui what. The story is very long because this woman even swore she'd never come to my house. Ati sitawai muona kwangu.
Eventually, I went to therapy. My therapist took me through processing that wound. It's a work in progress. You never really heal, especially when you still have to deal with said parent. She is the type that will never admit to being wrong or will blame her upbringing or my dad. It's always something but her. I try to understand that her childhood was hard, but that is no excuse.
Ladies, have kids when you've dealt with your demons. I feel like my mum in their days they only got kids ndio isemekane they are married and have kids. It wasn't about being good parents...
I guess my mum is the reason why I didn't wanna have kids.
When my daughter came this year, I knew I couldn't fail her. I have to watch my mouth, my feelings, and how I communicate to her. My mum is now living with me since I gave birth in March. I try to look past her. I know I will heal in motherhood. I will make my daughter my friend and she will never be alone. I love it here.
@faith. Please watch out. May be she's hiding something from you. Are you a scape goat in your family. All the best
I think you can block a toxic person and just send the help only
@carolinenjoroge1195 we started communicating after therapy.
Hugs Faith
❤❤❤❤
My mum is the kindest I know it. She is my cousins favorite auntie and the auntie who would come through for her nieces if they made a mistake of even becoming pregnant. On the other side, my sister and I feel we don’t have such an auntie and definitely not that type of support from her.
Note to self: I feel so blessed because I am not able to relate to this conversation at all. 🙏🙏🙏. As a family we had many challenges growing up but always felt so surrounded by love, reassurance, and encouragement growing up. Even when things were very bad and we were navigating one crisis to another, somehow mum helped us find ourselves and have a sense of balance. I thank God for the gift she was to our family. May she rest in eternal peace.
Wow,,,and may she rest in peace,,,those are rare to find ❤
Wow you are very lucky to have experienced that love❤. Some of us can only wish😢
Am sorry to everyone who has gone through a traumatic & unhealthy relationship with their Mum😢we see & hear you & wish you healing.
There's no shame in loving someone who's causing you pain from far.
I applaud myself for leaving my toxic, abuser and an alcoholic partner when i was 5 months pregnant. My worry was raising my daughter in such an environment. We are now happy and living our best lives here in Germany. Thanks TMI.
❤❤
Hugs to everyone who has mother wounds.. I grew up knowing that am a failure, just because this is the insult my mom kept throwing at me.. Little did she know that me dropping in class performance was because of the step dad she brought in my life.. Years later I made it in life(medical officer now). Have tried to spend money on her, to earn her love and acceptance but it hasn't worked. Am in my thirties, yet she will still show me hate on my face. This really hurts, I decide to love from a distance, tho I cut communication completely. I started my TH-cam channel, have talked about this, Alhamdullilah am healing
Sending you love momma ❤️❤️
Love and light to you Kelitu ♥️♥️
@@Maureennthenya shukran kelitu
@@shanicemumbi6993 shukran Sana
@@shanicemumbi6993 shukran Sana
This is such a much needed episode. I applaud everyone that has come out to speak about their mother wounds and especially those who have chosen to cut off when their peace of mind was compromised, we are really evolving as a society.
My mother wound spans back to my high school years when I would fall sick and she would say I am pretending :) or that I needed to take up certain subjects forcefully or I was demanding. This made me closer to my dad who was way empathetic and took me to hospital whenever this happened. I always ended up going back to school same day just to avoid my mother's remarks. While these are not substantially significant, I matured and came to acknowledge that the woman was going through alot back then mainly driven by the marriage and overwhelming financial demands. We have a very good relationship now and her empathy is just out of this world. I am not sure whether I want to tell her about it someday, but I am soaking in how much love and care she has for me and my siblings now. Our lives certainly changed and she does not have any toxic trait.
They are significant because it has affected you. Don't minimize how you feel.
But it's wonderful that things changed for all of you. ♥️
The title just triggered me in a million ways. Been to therapy about the same issue but anytime people talk about mums, a random wave of sadness hits me.
Hope with time I get to heal this part of my life.
Hugs momma ❤❤
Me too.
We are together mama. Healing to us all.
Joan the dress is giving ooh😍 y'all look so beautiful today🤩🤩
I needed this ❤ my mother will never take accountability for her actions and the pain she continues to afflict on her kids and husband (recently recovered from cancer). The cancer didn’t stop her from continuing the toxicity in-fact it heightened it…WILD. It’s hurtful and reflective of her own mother wound and self hate. She refused to get help instead we swing from understanding mum to hurtful & manipulative mum. I’ve tried to go no contact but since having my baby it’s hard (she wants to be a Cucu etc.). Man, it’s so complex.
What i can say is THANK YOU GOD FOR HEALING MY MOTHER WOUND. I turned 30 this year and am so happy knowing i HEALED, 3 years now not talking to my mother and i have peace.
❤ same
What miracle or who perfomed this miracle i go there😢😢😢😢
Dr Anita Phillips says "The way you treat the child inside of you is the way you'll treat the child in front of you" Listening to this shows how much hurt people can hurt people. Our mums have mother wounds themselves, unfortunately, the trauma is passed on to the next generation.
Also if you have struggled with father wounds, mother wounds are hard to acknowledge. You struggle with one parent so your crave for attention, affirmation or validation goes to the other parent. So acknowledging that your one present parent also has flaws can be really hard.
This is the episode that I have been waiting for. Growing up i never had any memories with my mum nor stayed with her, I'm a victim of childhood trauma and torture from my step mom. Fast forward to my Uni days i was like let me look for my mother and get to ask her what really happened so that can know her side of the story to see if it was different from what i was hearing from my other relatives, NO it wasn't different she is selfish and not interested in knowing if i was tortured or not. I tried to throw myself at her for like 4 years as my colleagues would tell me "THAT'S YOUR MUM NOMATTER WHAT FORGIVE HER" but deep down as a child i was getting pained for her not loving me back until I decided enough was enough and decided to cut off her in my life for good. This is not even a tip of what i wanted to write it's a hell of 4 years. I regret looking for her, i would have let things be the way they were. Greetings from Uganda.
Hugs
Hugs girl❤
@@Lily_muthengi thanks dear🥰
@@linahmuthoni487 thanks dear🥰
My body issues and eating disorder comes from my mother. Always has a -ve comment about how I look. From my hair down to my feet. Also, my self-talk is extremely critical. My therapist asked me to identify whose voice it is that I've adopted as my internal voice. It's my mom's voice
I think for most of us women our self-image comes from our Mums. A comment from your Mother is not just a comment, it cuts deeper. So sorry about what you've gine through.
I have met people who make me feel guilty of saying my mum failed me. It's like am not even allowed to say my mum hurt me. Intentionally or unawares.
Those ones who always say but she’s your mum 🙃
I once watched parents apologizing to their children for whatever they had put them through while growing up ...they said they didn't know any better...i loved that and i think that's why most parents should do but unfortunately they haven't changed one bit
I came here to laugh and be happy only to cry the entire episode and leave sadder than before i pressed play🥺🥺😭😭😭wishing everyone going through this lots of healing
Damn! Growing up my mum was so tough on us, if something went wrong, my explanation was never considered but then as a kid I lied alot too, but obviously there are times I wasnt lying. She exposed my weaknesses and mistakes to others, being a teacher, she would ask another teacher to beat me for something I did. With time, I resented our relationship, that as working woman right now, I feel weird when she expresses her care, concern and love for me. It feels really really weird. Hopefully, I can overcome this
Resonate with the part you mention that it feels wierd when she shows concern
It seeks fake
Wishing healing on you
That introduction had me crying already,,😮❤❤
🥹🥹❤️
Hi ladies, firstly you look gorgeous.
This episode couldn't have come on a better day. I needed this.
Ive been married for 3yrs but every time i call my mom to let her know I'll be coming to visit for a few days she always come up with something that will just stop me from going home.
One time she told me, instead of me coming i should just send her the money that I'd have used going on there.
I told her yesterday that I'll be coming in the course of the week , early today she called saying.. everyone in the house has caught a flu(homa) so she doesn't see it as a good idea if i go because I have a 3yr old baby.
I feel so bad , wondering why my mom doesn't want me as bad I want to be with her.
Ever since i got married, she has never even asked how im doing in my marriage or how i am personally.
Were 4 siblings, all sisters
Two are abroad, they're the ones close to her heart.
My mom sees us as failures, she believes those abroad are the best.
I haven't talked to my elder sister who is abroad for like a yr now, my mom is aware but she's just okay. She even sometimes stirs the pot. She'd tell my siblings not to help us (financially ) instead she the "most deserving" than us. We're siblings yet so apart and it breaks my heart that my mom is just okay with it.
My mom never introduced us to any of her family members. I don't know my relatives, yet as siblings were so apart.
It pains. So much.
@jaylyne Sorry for what you've gone through. May be she is hiding something that she doesn't want you to know. There is alot behind the curtain
Hey I am so sorry
Sending lots of hugs
Sorry about that, sending you hugs ❤️❤️
@@ndungeme7975 thank you ❤️
@@GG7541g thank you ❤️
Praying someday I get the clarity.
why have I cried through this entire episode tho?😭for my mum, for myself as a single mum and for my daughter, the introspection you have triggered is a lot. Thank you for this really
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Lydia’s mum was definitely not the only 1. My mum left. I have 3friends whose mums also left
It has been a long journey I no longer feel attached or indebted to her, in fact, I ignore her calls and money requests. It hasn't been easy for the better part of my life. Your own mother rubbing it on your face you ain't no better than her boy kid who is a mama's boy right now lol. As I look back I'm so proud of myself for choosing me and seeking help to be a better mom to my future kids. Mother wounds its one of those traumas that never go away it's a constant reminder not everyone deserves to be a mom.
The way you say, 'It's definitely TMI' these days makes me get goosebumps🎉🎉!!! It's simply beautiful. Cheers gals😊
Murugi looks fly in that dress
The introduction part 😢as a young mum am working on myself so much to heal from my childhood traumas so that I cannot subject my son my own traumas,I shout alot ,I tell like a dinosaur I think I have to shout so that my son can listen to me since growing as a child,i was shouted at etc,I mean it's alot ,I just want and need to heal so much
I relate a lot..this is me with my babies...what gives me comfort is I'm aware and I try to be the best version of myself so that they do not have to go thru what I went thru as a kid
I'm crying all through the episode 🥺
I don't even have the words to type what I've gone through with my mom. I just wish I didn't have to know her 😔.
May God give us grace through our mother wounds.
🫂🫂
Mine I don't know if it's a mummy wound but I always feel really let down by my late mum. She was diagnosed with HIV when I was around 8 years old and she died in 2010 when I was in form two. I didn't grow up with siblings because i had two and they also died with AIDS while still really young. My dad died in 2003 too. So being alone and now having to move in with the extended family was such a tough thing emotionally. Because I barely knew them too well. My mum refused to take her ARVs and she ended up becoming too sick until she died and I always felt she would have pressed on for me, I was in the age where a girl needs her mom. Yet she gave up on herself. I suffered through so much emotionally over the years.
Sending you all the hugs in the whole wide world🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
🫂🫂🫂
Hugs beb❤❤
This is a very powerful topic that’s very uncomfortable to a lot of Africans who have created this beautiful picture of their lived experience and fear to criticise their parents.
My mother wound comes from my mom passing away when I was 3 years old. I remember feeling abandoned by her..I suffered in the hands of stepmothers and longed for my mother and she wasn't there.😢😢😢😢
🫂♥️
This is the conversation. I hate my mother she has always been jealous of me. I've tried to be a well mannered kid amongst all my siblings. She has said extremely hurtful words to me over nothing, tried to stab me. Hide food from me at my worst. Talked I'll of my partner when he passed on. Really traumatized me and turned everyone in the family against me. She is disgusting 🤮 and I don't care what happens to her in this lifetime. Let's normalize cutting off our toxic parents without feeling guilty.
@ mercy. Its not talked about. Have gone through that. Have given up
Oh dear Mercy, I wish you nothing but healing in your heart. Healing for yourself.
Pole sanar aki
Commenting b4 watching because I was home the other day and thinking how I need to detach from my mom's struggles because I. Can easily inherit them and think that it is my identity.
Can we kindly have a part 2 of mother wounds? I feel like most of us still have more to share and listen about our mothers,,,then we can also have more issues on our abusive moms discussed
I've really had tough relationship with my mom she believes that the way to success is through education and not being able to reach that level she wants me to has made me go through emotional torture ...every tiny mistake makes her say all kinds of names even to the point where she says she will curse me ... I really feel depressed and pray that i will heal and forgive her one day.
I have subscribed for the mere fact that you had the guts to touch this topic. Kudos
I think the worst kind of mother wound is a "broken"mom who uses the Bible, especially for manipulation 😢. I was counseling a lady(46 years) who went through mother wound ie the constant comparison to other ladies in the village, she was abused by her mothers uncles and the mom pinned that on her, the constant you're not beautiful and noone will want you etc. As she grew older, she couldn't express herself because she didn't have a safe space. She would never dress like a (lady) and so many other things. Come to marriage, she married the 1st man who told her she's beautiful, which ended after 3 years, especially because of hyperindependence[trauma response]. The lady gave birth to a girl who she raised the same way the mother did. She had to be separated from her for like 6yrs as she fell into depression. She acknowledged she wronged her daughter and paid for her therapy sessions. Right now, they're still navigating their relationship. She cut off her mother as they couldn't have a healthy relationship. yes, mother wound exists, and it affects all other relationships around you.
Moving with my phone to the bathroom because of the magnitude of the topic it's just crazy,thank you for discussing such uncomfortable topic it's so insightful.God bless.
The quote at the end, that Murugi mentioned, does indeed hold true. Makes sense. The *parent that was all about paying bills, as an adult you tend to sort them with "sending them money". Then there is the parent who you want to see, be around every chance you get, and that is the parent that was around more. Great episode as always.
So this healthy?...you need to face rather than blocking..you will get tired
@@lifewithwambuimuthaka whether it is healthy, is a different story, but it is a caution to parents that they will be treated in old age by their adult kids same way they treated the kids when they were growing up. If you wish to beat stories with your kids, practice that when they are growing, as the bond and ability to do so doesn't just magically appear.
This episode has opened up doors that I never knew existed.
This episode really healed me, especially when Lydia said that your mother wound impacts how you show up in society, I have always been in a cage and this affected me so much in corporate because I could not communicate well in/during meetings, I didn't know it's as a result of the mother wound I carry, my mom is so mean to me, she is actually a bully and narcissistic, everybody loves her but the things she tells me😢, In all honesty I don't have a single good memory of her showing love to me. I started my own business but she has constantly broken me down, sometimes when I need financial support she is to vile to me. I was evicted from my house but before that I requested her to pay the rent for me, she just buried her head in the sand for 2 months, I've been squatting at my sister's place and this also brings the dynamic of how hard it can be when your mom is mean to you but good to your sisters, my sisters actually told me I am the problematic child. Everytime she holds meetings that somehow turn into an attack towards me, my sisters and her sit and throw hurtful words at me and when I speak she shuts me down and my points are never heard. I really hate that I get to have this thorn in my flesh and I can't wait to have a life independent of her. This has really ruined my relationship with my sisters who I love so much but now we have drifted because I am painted as problematic and the one always stressing mom. I'm so glad we are having this conversations, one day I will talk about how a mother wound affects your corporate life.
Love this episode, lots of helpful information as a mum to daughter I have learned a lot. One thing though as your top fan who is battling cancer at a young age am abit disappointed to hear a comment about cancer here. We are trying to lean on a positive side and finding hope, your show has provided comfort and distraction from the pressure of the diagnosis but that comment 😞.
Saying this from a point of love.
Lots of love and hugs your way,,,you are a conqueror❤,,,you have articulated yourself well and I'm sorry that happened,,hopefully its observed henceforth
I thought it was bad to even think of the bad things our moms have done to us , slowly we healing.
I don’t remember the last time I ate food cooked by her which is soo sad
Even when I travel to the village I go and cook for us!!
You don’t want to see how hospitable she is with other people.. I dread going home
Woi....polee
The biggest pain my mother gave me was abandoning me for whatever reason. I’ve come to terms with forgiveness and accepting the past. I hope she’s doing well, I love you!❤❤❤❤
My mum is a good woman... but boy has she done a number on us. As a teenager if I refused to wash dishes she would say I am proud because I passed KCPE. That pride comes before a fall. I am an ambitious person but I fear tapping into my potential because I was punished &shamed for my achievements so much. Every mistake I made was associated with my passing exams.
Great eye-openers and lessons for those of us who are mothers! We can always be better and do better to bring up a stable generation.
Father wounds are difficult but your dad is just some guy; mother wounds will change your brain chemistry
Is this true? I’d want to know more of this coz it validates my experience. When I started my healing journey I thought I was healing abandonment issues caused my dad who was not around half the time but I realized it was actually a wound from my mother ( who was there all the time btw) that had caused me abandonment issues.
I don't know how I landed on tmi last month on TH-cam but my mum and sisters are so addicted.
What makes this show great is how Lydia and Jo just don't feel like they are putting up a pod cast lights out go your way but how sweetly they feel for each other,their connection,I need such a friend,you just flow and most of all your always looking good.Jo is soooooo beautiful.Guysss stoppppp I can't get off TMI,I hardly sleep.
Never seen such a great connection.Do a podcast of how to handle a Lydia and Jo addiction hahaha
I didn't know my mum as much,I grew up with my grandma and only stayed with my mum for two yrs before she died, everybody adored my mum ,my only regret is that I didn't get to experience that with her. She was a favorite aunt, daughter, sister and cousin. I never got to experience her as a mum.😢
Murugi looks so fly. The hair and the dress 🔥
My mother would stems from my mother staying in a abusive marriage until now. (same as Murugi's Mum) breathing through the episode 🥺intense but thank you for this episode.
The caption is already a trigger 🥺leo its tears 😢
I heard the opening and I went through the same things. I was called a prostitute at 16, told I’d get infected too. Shamed, humiliated, neglected and I feel like I parented myself most of my teenage life till this point. Things are always swept under the rag and that’s how it has been. Maybe that’s where I get my fear of getting kids.
My mum has her days but General speaking she's a good mother. For her, I feel like things she's said are out of ignorance or because she thinks its okay since they grew up in such environment bila kuuliza maswali. But my sisters and I have learnt to call her out if she says hurtful things. Good thing she gets defensive but eventually turns around.
Another thing is my mum likes kutambuliwa. Some of her choices led her and dad to be in debt. We paid those debts when we started working. Just from that I fear debt yaani. But now sometimes even now she has this lifestyle she expects you to help her keep up.
Of course you have Zim followers we are always here 😅😅🇿🇼🇿🇼
Hèeeeeh! This topic really hit home. Supper triggering, aki si I have cried!!! Thanks a lot TMI.
At almost 24, I had a child, had to be sutured, down there. I opted not to for I was traumatized through out the pregnancy and child birth. My not being sutured got to be known by many people, aunties, sisters and strangers. It's for sometime been used as abuse to me.
At 40, I'm expecting my 2nd child.
I'll have a nurse hired to be by my side. No relative. That way what ever happens to me, down there is really left down there.
If people could live twice, i could come back to my mother😊Am sorry to anyone who has been wounded by their mum😢 May God bless mine may she live long enough for me to pay back all she has and still doing for me
❤😊 What an emotional session. Thanks, Murugi and Lyd for this episode.
You’re welcome ❤️
I haven’t seen my mom for 6 years, she constantly asks me to go see her and I keep saying I’ll come. But in real sense she’ll NEVER set her eyes on me in this lifetime, I’ve grieved her while she’s alive (any function I have she’s not invited), third parties will be dealt with accordingly, I’m in the healing process and she’s blocked everywhere 💯!
Watching this at 2am and giiirrrllll, I had to grab a shot of whisky because I relaaaatttteee so much...May healing be upon all of us🙏❤
This episode has put so much of how I am into perspective. Thank you ladies for always being so informative.!
Aaaw lyyyd so pretty..the sleek on hair👄😘🤗🤗
My day just got better. Hello fellow inbetweeners. This is going to be a tears inducing episode, but we cry and learn.
Yes we do 🥹❤️
Same same. I'm here at work yawning and wiping my tears juu staki maswali eti kwani what's wrong. Wueh my heart
I thought I was the only one😭
when i ask my mum why she was stayed with a man that was abusive to her and us she says she was bewitched, asked her why she was cruel to me and she pretends she cant remember or cries crocodile tears to make sure the conversation ends there...i still talk with her cz i feel pitty for the way she suffered as a single mum. i was quick to move in with a boyfriend just to escape her wrath and our relationship is only better now because i have some money but i constantly grieve for my younger self
They always cry the conversation out. I am sorry you faced that.
When a mum says unprintable things about their child,every body thinks it's justifiable and true.This leads to the child feeling hurt and isolated.
At this stage I need Maisha Magic in my world. You guys always talk about such interesting shows on there❤
I was literally crying through out the episode from the beginning to the end😭, I got so emotional,and that’s just bcz I havent yet healed from the mother wounds i have, at some point i decided to forget about them and completely block everything, but from the tears i shaded after watching this episode I definitely need to do something about these mother wounds cause they run so deep, i had to pause the episode just to cry 😭, sometimes i wish my mom would have done better when she had the chance at this point how do I even start the healing process with my mom when we are not even that close, i wish she was my first best best friend in my lyf before others, but she ended up just being a mom and not a friend ❤️🩹
Wueh!!! Mother wounds😭💔.
It's Wednesday, it's Definitely TMI, the Consistency Queens❤️💃🏾. Shika maua💐💐.
Asante 🥰🥰🥰
This.....this is a conversation i didn't know i needed and all this while i thought it's a "me" problem ...i thank God
Manze thanks alot for this episode
Looking forward for another episode about the pain our fathers caused us 😢
You’re welcome … we will definitely consider this 🤗
This has really made me really evaluate how I am showing up for my 9 year old daughter.
Where to begin with this??? Thanks for having this conversation
This episode is one for tears for me...but it is eye opening and healing as well... thank you ladies for the gems shared in this episode❤️❤️
we are locked and you ladies look absolutely incredible😍😍
Yoh, this debate is sooo healing. However remember one thing, the battle is not against flesh and blood, for those of us who also experienced paranormal levels of abuse, these are generational demons, the real enemy isn't visible to the naked eye. Evil spirits need bodies to operate on earth, and their domain is infiltrating bloodlines, if your mother doesn't abuse and curse you to bitterness and depression, those spirits in her will have nowhere to go and their legal right on earth will be revoked, they need bodies and narcissist parents are vessels for them to cross over to the next generation. The plan was to curse you to make room in you for the same spirits in them, and then by cursing your own kids, yet again they would have crossed over to the next. If you were able to escape the pattern, you are the curse breaker. Narcissism is no mental illness, it's demonic possession. May God strengthen us all.
I nearly took my own life because of my biological mother ! 😅 fact is she wanted me to suffer the way she suffered and me living my life pressed her and still does 🤭 after 10+ years of no contact I gave her a chance to meet me and she messaged me. I’d night saying she won’t make it 🙆🏿♀️ am on the verge of changing my number and cutting off completely - am I wrong for this 🤭
It is perfectly okay to cut all contact with a parent who is harming you. Write her to let her know you can no longer sustain this relationship because of xyz and cut off
I like the awareness this platform brings. My mother wounds is in two folds. First, my bio mum died when i was 14yrs. We are two siblings and my brother was her favourite. We were not close until on her dying bed which was a week to her death. I loved her so much and still do. There is a shame i used to carry because as a child we were not close and I thought it was my fault. Thanks to therapy i know that I was just a child.
Secondly, my step mother when she cane to our lives few months after my mum's passing, I over compensated. Few years down the line she became very manipulative and narcissistic. On the outside people know her as good but in the nuclear family we see her for who she is. The most painful part is to see my dad going through the emotional abuse and doesnt want to leave her. We rarely talk with my step mum and I lost all love the teen me had. I miss having mummy-daughter conversations but i think i will have them with my daughters, inshallah.
Whew. What a heavy topic. Thank you, TMI ladies. ❤
I just know I have a lot of healing to do because how is it that I can relate to 90% of the comments? My mum was and still is my biggest bully. It's even harder when you still depend on her because I'm under her roof and depend on her for a lot. I'm still 19 but she keeps telling me to go sleep with men for money if what she gives me isn't enough
Loved the convo. Btw Shanga is beads, mkufu is necklace
I am honestly at a crossroads of emotions at 34 and it hurts that I still can’t afford the therapy I need.
Mother figure made me and broke me in equal measure.
She gave me a life (took up all responsibilities) but this came with harsh words and terror….So imagine being grateful to them and hating them at the same time!
I will heal IJN🙏🏾
I don’t if you’ll see this or if @TMI has a way of getting this to you. I’d like to sponsor one therapy session for you under Kes 3500, it may not be everything but will get you started.
Would love to see a podcast the other side , my mum my hero.My dad my other hero ❤coz mine was and always will be.
Another Zim subscriber over here 🥰🥰
Both ladies look gorgeous and great advice😍
Khaiii!!! You are awesomest!! (If there’s anything like this 🤭) Woiyeee Poleni to those dealing with the pain. Poleni sana. How we pray and hope to be better mothers please to the next generation.🙏
Acting like a first-born and undergoing alot has made me rough to my younger siblings even when I don't intend to 😢....
The video quality is giiiiiiiiivviiiiiiiinnggggggggg 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Loved the episode, very heavy but insightful. I can't find the link to purchase the mother wound webinar, where can i find it?
A lot of this hits close to home.
My mum always trauma dump. Please help me out. Recently she wanted to walk out of her marriage. Being the supportive me I was their emotional, mentally and physically. One day she just said of how my dad raped her after her fibroids surgery. I actually can't face my dad.It so traumatising plus my mum is back to her marriage. She does this toxic dumping of her past to all of us. My dad also does the same and it is getting to toxic for me.
If you can afford it. Get her to therapy
Therapy to her not for sane people like her and she condemnes us every time when we tell her to get therapy. Her therapy is religion and a lot of negativity.
Start setting some boundaries. It's will not be easy, and she might be resentful at first, but don't cave in or feel guilty. Pray too, God to redirect her to someone else.