Mother Wounds: My Healing Journey // The Nona Jones Show // Episode 2
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ส.ค. 2024
- In this episode of The Nona Jones Show, Nona will share her personal journey to healing from the deep wound of abandonment by her mother and the critical role forgiveness plays in healing the hurts that linger in our hearts.
Go deeper in your personal journey to heal from the pain of mother wounds by pre-ordering my new book, The Gift of Rejection, here: www.nonajones.com/thegiftofre...
00:00 Introduction
00:53 Welcome & trigger warning
02:11 My earliest memory with my mother
12:03 When my mom said she wished she never had me
14:20 How I processed the abuse
17:00 Going to church on my own
18:22 Being kicked out of the house
21:57 High school graduation and preaching my first sermon at church
25:47 Being pressured by my husband to work on my relationship with her
28:15 My attempt to reconnect
30:19 The final nail in the coffin
31:55 The birth of my first son
35:59 Their crazy is not your responsibility
37:30 Insights for your journey to healing
39:26 What started me on my path to healing
40:53 Our relationship today
41:52 What I want you to know if you're going through the same thing
I have to say that you are one of the few Christian women that have tackled this difficult topic/situation. For so many years I was literally at war with myself and the weird lack of relationship I have with my mom. I tried everything. Nothing worked. We have had similar backgrounds with sexual abuse, suicide and acting out in school. After so many years of dealing with the on and off again, disrespect, physical, psychological abuse I went no contact. I felt guilty because these have been the best couple of years of my life! I am not mad at her, I forgive her. I just have moved on. Thank you for your courage to share, not all mothers are nurturing or even want a relationship with their daughters. Healing and peace is mine in Jesus name.
Amen 🙏🏽
@@slbllc Amen sweetheart, Amen
"Yes, I have to forgive, AND she has to repent." Relational reconciliation requires both sides of the coin." My God, that is a revelation everyone needs to catch! Thank you for sharing your story and this powerful truth!
Mother’s wounds are real! I experienced much of the same trauma from my Mother and Grandparents. My abusers were family members and random men I met along the way .
I was shipped off to the Grandparents at 2 years old.
I could seldom did anything right. I was judged and physically abused, according to my Grandmother’s day. My Grandfather just spoke, his words always broke me to the core, and evoked fear.
I looked for love in everything the world had to offer. Nothing worked! I was raised in church and I found nothing but contradictions. I struggled to be what I thought God wanted
me to be and what He wanted me to do.
My Mom was struggling her self, with 10 children (I made 11, I was the middle child).
Two weeks before graduating high school, I left school to follow my Mom in hopes of finally earning her love. Big mistake, she allowed so much to happen to me, for her shelfish gain, it was just a series of blows from the enemy, that were meant to take me out.
BUT GOD!!!
Thank You Nona for sharing..
Now that chapter of my life has a name, Mother Wounds.
God gave me the privilege to care for my Mother the last 5 years of her life. Cancer and dementia ravaged her body and her mind. Yet God gave the strength to help care for her at her most vulnerable time of her lives when all others forsook her.
I’m redeemed and pressing towards the mark of the high calling.
The scripture that I lean on is
Numbers 32:19
Relational reconciliation involving both sides is required for reconciliation to happen given both have to want it, otherwise it won't happen and nothing changes.
That’s so true, but our forgiveness can’t always wait on the offenders repentance because the repentance is between that person and the Lord. This statement in NO way condones wrongdoing.
Hi Nona. Thank you for sharing your story.
I am 54 years old and still working through my trauma .
You're going to free so many people. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️
“You cannot love someone up close who is not safe.” This right here!!!! As a mother wound healing coach, I cannot express how critical this truth is!!!!!! We are not obligated to stay close to abuse. Thank you for sharing your story! 💚🙏🏾
OMG I’m also from Jax and I also experienced the same with my mom. Mother wounds are hard especially when as an adult they continuously blame you for their actions. I didn’t have a relationship with her for over 21 years so she missed every major milestones and accomplishments in my adulthood. When I found out my mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer I had a change of heart. It wasn’t easy because of the childhood trauma wounds that I thought I had healed from were actually unhealed as I realized I tucked them away after reconnecting with her. I truly thought my mom would have apologized knowing that she had an incurable cancer. Living for 1.5 years not one apology but our last encounter was vile as she attacked me verbally as she was to weak to attack me physically as she did when I was a child. I was going to leave without saying anything but my boyfriend at the time told me that I needed to stand up for myself and tell my mom how I felt. She needs to know but the inner child was so afraid. I finally mustered up the nerve to tell her how she hurt me and my mom being who she is told me that she prays that I died worst than her. After that i realized that my mom was going to be who she was until the day of her death. Unfortunately, she passed away December 29, 2023. Since her passing I was angry for not having the mother daughter relationship I’ve always wanted but never received. I couldn’t understand her hate for my sisters & I as we were good daughters (good grades, not in the streets, on drugs, no teenage pregnancies) which is common especially in Jacksonville, FL. I found out that my mom was abused as a child and was diagnosed as bipolar. At her funeral it was hurtful to hear her friends and family members speak highly of her. Like how can you love others more than your own flesh and blood who you carried for 40wks. I realized that I had to heal by asking for forgiveness to release myself from the trauma. I’m 5 months in my healing, growth and spiritual journey and when I look back at where I started I just thank God for his love as he has removed the bitterness & resentment from my heart to make whole again.
I’m so sorry you went through this Nona, I send you virtual hugs. As a person that also has mom wounds I can tell you that they never really go away.. it gets better with age, with maturity however, the wounds can never really be healed. Yes God heals all things but the hurt is on going. I’m at the point in life where I just take it as it is. I feel ostracized because I’m always the one speaking against all the dysfunction in my family but I am the one that wants change everyone else in my family is perfectly fine with the dysfunction. May God heals all our wounds from the root up ❤
you're the truth teller
I can relate!!
I feel like the wounds do heal but there is also a lot of loss and a lot of hard decisions that need to be made.
Listen!!! You are God sent. I needed to hear this so bad 😢. I appreciate you 🙏
So touching and going through it as well. It took me up until my 30s to figure out that my mom was emotionally unavailable and not edifying unless it was to make her look good. It’s brave of you to share this!
This sounds exactly like my mom to the tip I always felt like I had to tip top around her you never know if she was on 10 or 100 no matter what I did I always got cussed out physically abused mentally abused thrown out but God has pulled me through it and he has blessed me with my husband and beautiful children I am now able to break generational curses and I am to love myself love my spouse and my kids the way God wants me to❤
Thank you so much for sharing! The Mother Wound is no joke and needs to be talked about more in church. You have to be safe and not distracted by the relationship so you can walk in the purpose God has for you!
Thank you for sharing your experience 😢 I needed to hear this so that I can continue to ask God to help me heal from the abuse and rape that happened in my life. 🙏🏾🤧😢
I held back tears as I listened to this message. Thank you Nona for discussing this hard topic! So many of us suffer from this and have been ostracized by relatives for keeping the distance because our moms have done and said things that make them unsafe. I’m sorry for all that you went through, and I thank you for using the messiness to help women like me.
Bless you sister Nona! Wow!! All I can say is I thank God for your precious life and that He saved you from your attempts of suicide. The devil tried to take you out but GOD had a GREATER plan for you sis and you are LIVING IT! God is amazing how He turns our pain into purpose. You are a living testimony of that and I am encouraged and empowered by your boldness in sharing these hurtful memories in order to help others.
After listening to your story I actually feel sorry for your mother because she is the one who is missing out on having a loving, fruitful and special relationship with her only child. How sad for her holding on to all that pain. I pray that she will indeed repent of her part in your painful upbringing and come to know the true love of JESUS that will set her free from the self-inflicted bondage that she has chosen to live in.
As for you sis, you are LOVED , LOVED, LOVED by our heavenly Father and nothing, no one or any situation will EVER be able to separate you from His love.
May God continue to bless you and your beautiful family as you glorify Him with your life.
Sending love from the UK.
Shalom 🙏🏽💖
"You are not crazy" ❤
Thank you for sharing your story Nona ❤ I found myself in many parts of your experiences. I am almost 40 and still freeing myself from many of the enduring ideas of self and the conditioning behaviors from the wound and trauma.
These episodes will make many feel seen and heard, and will be healing.
I swear this was like hearing my own life story. 😢
I had a hard childhood with my mother
I have healed by Gods grace
She wants to be actively in my life but I don’t
I don’t want her to know anything about me such as if am pregnant or her support
All I can do is honor her by providing her her but it’s a challenge since it seems that’s not enough
Finding it hard to navigate
It’s so crazy how everything I’m listening to you share right now I’ve experienced the same thing.. my mom was diagnosed with being bipolar as well and she would do the same things.. she would brag to everyone about how great I am and take all of the credit and then as soon as she hung up the phone she would beat me. She didn’t show up to my graduation either.
I admire your walk with God and your courage. It's a blessing that you were obedient and created a beautiful life for yourself breaking those generational curses. I saw my mother's abuse from my grandmother so my wounds are from both of them as well as my aunt which included bipolar behavior, emotional, mental and physical violence, alcohol, sexual violence, and drug abuse. The repetitive trauma caused me to have many illnesses. Healing is a journey 💛
Wow!! This resonated with me with several toxic family members that I’ve held so much guilt over not having a relationship with. I hope you will hit on more about how it has affected you as a mother and the various people that poured into your life to contribute to your being so solid in your faith and relationships.
Your story is so similar to mine. I’ve started listening to your sermons and your podcast. Thank you for speaking so openly. There are so many people navigating the waters of healing and it can be so confusing. I love your insight about repentance in relationships. It is so true that guilt will keep you in contact with people who need to be released from your life. Through hearing testimonies from others that are navigating those same healing waters, it helps so much. Wisdom and insight are key. Thank you for sharing the wisdom and insight you have gained.
My GOD this blessed me!!! Thank you so much for having this tough conversation🙏🏽✨💜
Thank you for sharing the hurt you lived through that a lot of Church members refuse to deal with and/or acknowledge. Your testimony is a light of hope especially for those that have faced that same voice of trauma. And yes, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to be in the space of that person. Sometimes we have to love from a distance. ❤
Thank you, Nona. Your story resonated with me. I feel seen and understood. I did not experience the sexual abuse but, the Childhood Emotional Neglect. The mother wound is extremely painful.
What this WHOLE testimony shows me is lady Nona is human like the rest of us. She’s an EXTRAORDINARY HUMAN, but human nevertheless! Experiencing all the junk humans experience.
THIS also reminds me of when my FATHER told me in front of another man that he wished he didn’t have me. This was decades ago. I’m 63! and remember it like it was yesterday. This residue can spill over into decades and if not careful can affect ALL my relationships.
No!!!
I know GOD’s promises. And so does lady Nona and so do you if you’ve experienced anything such as this.
I had to forgive my father because GOD forgave me! When he said that thing to me, I realized now, he didn’t like himself.
Without GOD now, I know where I’d be❤
Nona what a great lesson in forgiveness and having a relationship with someone that doesn’t take responsibility for their actions !! You are truly a WOMAN of GOD! May God continue to bless you in your ministry! May he continue to give you insight on hurt! So many people are walking around with hurt! They need to know God can and will heal you!
My God. I can relate in so much of this. Thank you for speaking up!!! This needs to be normalized. ❤
I identify with your story 💔🥺 I am 62 years old and was abused by my Mom. I have 3 other siblings that have a relationship with my Mom…I am estranged from my family. However, I now have my own family & now and Grandson🥰💜🙏 God is the foundation of my life 🙏💜🙏🥰🍼
Nona, you are a miracle. God bless your heart.❤ Thank your for sharing.
I am @13;41 and I totally RELATE to your story.....thanks for having the bravery to share ❤
Excellent! Excellent!
Set yourself FREE!
You don't have to stay connected to anyone or anything that crushes your Spirit.
Love yourself enough to know you deserve better.
Love mom from a distance. Forgive mom from a distance and keep it pushing!
By All means never get fooled into thinking she will change. An unrepentant heart does not see the harm in their behavior so the bad behavior continues.
Time does not change them. They are just waiting for another opportunity to reinjure you again.
Let her Go in Love so you can release yourself to enjoy the peaceful life you were meant to have.
Give up the Hallmark fantasy that all mother -daughter relationships are loving.
The sooner we accept the reality that " separation, is sometimes the best way to honor thy mother, the sooner we can move on to having a happier experience with others who truly care about our well being.
People get tripped up on Titles.
Mother means very little if the love, protection, and respect that is supposed to be demonstrated by the One who holds the title is not producing the fruit of Love.
As far as relatives who try to FAM us into the fantasy of " She's your mother or we are Family, so you should turn the other cheek, " I say, turn the other cheek while Walking in a different direction away from them, and the toxic mother.
As I ve told others, "Fear, Guilt, & Shame," will hold us in places that we should have left a long time ago."
While its hard, painful, and sometimes lonely, I would rather be in Peace without the strife, than to be in pieces, because I just refused to let it go. Its never going to be the healthy relationship I dreamt of because we don't share the same dream. Hard reality. Accept it.
If the relationship was truly meant to be a blessing in our lives, there would not be repetitive insults and injuries.
Trust me. There is a better life on the otherside of painful toxic mother experiences.
To experience this life we must know when & who that we must let go. The pain decreases, and the painful experiences diminishes when we set boundaries for family or friends that simply require love not hateful acts.
Let'em Go no matter their title or family position in your life. God will replace you with other people who genuinely belong to the tribe you're meant to have.
Happiness is waiting! ❤️
Thank you for sharing, your words brings be peace🙏
Thank you Nona for sharing. You are a beautiful courageous woman!!
I commend you for sharing your story.
Nona Jones thank you for sharing your story in an authentic way. Thank you for reminding of us the true meaning of God creating us specifically and on purpose, you also point us to God’s Grace and Mercy! 🥰🥰
I can relate to your store minus the younger years. But so many similarities. Thank you for your vulnerability and what you give to your online community.
"I do love this women".....Nona your an inspiration .❤
Yes, I can relate. She was manic depressive and a covert narcissist.
I can relate to your story on every level when it comes to mother wounds, when it comes to individuals saying oh that’s your mom you only get one mom. Thank you for sharing your story with us ❤❤❤
Powerful Testimony.
Thank you for sharing your story.
You are freeing so many people and opening the doors for the Mercy of God and power of the Holy Spirit to heal.
Love from a distance, you are not wrong for protecting yourself from pain. What a great inspiration for all of us who are still healing.
❤❤...mother wounds are hard but we never stop loving them. Thanks for sharing this.
Needed to hear this! And that part where you reassured me - I am not crazy. I can relate so much to your story having a mother wound that I am trying to heal from. My mother and I also do not have a great relationship because of how she treated me and not choosing me. And the guilt that comes with choosing not to have a relationship with your mom weighs on you. But its a two way street. Working on releasing that guilt. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, woman of God, for sharing your story. I know it will help someone.
My childhood is a deep wound that sits in my chest it never heals. Without a doubt not all parents are good or competent thanks nona
😮😮Do NOT listen to other people's opnion about your mother if they have not been through it!!! ❤❤❤
Thank you for this episode. I have always wondered what your relationship is like with your mom knowing the role she played in your life. One thing I have learnt is in order to be better moms to our own children, we have to overcome the wounds, hurts of the past so that we do not in turn hurt our children. Our relationship with the Lord helps us to overcome these hurts so that we can stop the cycle and show up in the lives of our children as a loving, nurturing and present parent.
This video blessed my soul to know I’m not crazy, the experience I have had with my Mom is not isolated and you can heal from trauma. Thank you for sharing. ❤
God bless you Nona.
There are so many people silenty walking around with these wounds and trauma.
I don't know you personally, but thank you for bringing your story out into the light.
I find that Jesus is the only One who can heal these heart issues and restore our dignity and humanity.
There are too many examples of people going the opposite (destructive) direction after trauma like this.
Again, I appreciate this so much.
May you and many others receive complete healing and grace to move forward. In Jesus ' Name.
Wow, that was a very difficult childhood situation but the amazing grace of God set you free from that bondage. You're story amazed me how your situation turn around because you found Jesus in your life. God bless you Nona.❤
This was powerful @nonajones. Although my step father never abused me sexually. He caused my mother relationship to grow apart. She never took my side. I was always in the wrong. He would accuse me of stealing which to this day I have never done. She didn't raise me to steal. But she never always believed him. When it comes to being emotional I don't have that deep emotional connected although she is present in my own life. I am now married with two boys and she has help raise them. She is their primary caregiver when I go to work. And she's taken good care of them like her own. Still I feel far away from her because of those teenage experiences. At times I question why we don't have that intense bound I see others have but im reminded of the wounds that haven't been healed.
Thank you nona for sharing. Thank you for opening up!!!. I appreciate you as you've been relatable to me
Thank you for sharing your experience, that’s a lot to go through. 🙏🏾
This is what I needed today, truly God confirmation in this testimonial that I am not crazy, I am human.
I was present but absent emotionally. I knew earlier on I didn’t want children but I got married and I was told by my older aunt and mother to keep him I needed to give him a baby. I didn’t take it out on my son but I knew I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to be there for a child.
God bless you for sharing such a painful story. I’m so amazed at how the Lord still blessed you as you became an adult. I know this is helping someone. I watched the first one and although I had a very good relationship with my Mother, it was not perfect. Your sharing how much you being a Mom has been a redemptive experience helped me let go of a few things (minor stuff) that bothered me about my mom. What confuses me is how your mom was so correctly defensive of you initially, then completely flipped when your abuser got out of jail. Despite all, God is SO FAITHFUL and He gets ALL the Glory!
I don't see a complete flip... remember that it was her mother's neglect that enabled the initial assaults... she left her young child alone with this man despite knowing that Nona was uncomfortable with him. Remember that even before that, she would take Nona along when going to visit other partners. She wasn't protective of Nona in the first place, so even though she rightly got her boyfriend prosecuted for the initial abuse, her returning to her old habits wasn't surprising to me. She had never truly prioritized Nona's wellbeing.
Sigh Nona - first of all IM SO SORRY you went through this.
I went through emotional abuse in the hands on my mother - I relate to this on so many levels. My anchor verse is "Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, these may forget, yet will not I forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me. "
Im afraid to get married,34 still a virgin, can't let anyone close coz if the person that birth you can make you feel so unworthy, it leave a negative imprint. Im praying to God for healing and He has showed up. I just dont want to mess it up by allowing the wrong relationship into my life.
Im encouraged to see you are married, I dont want to have kid coz I think its a generational curse so Im choosing to adopt - always felt adopted anyways
Thanks for sharing!
I’m grateful this has now given me the language to some of the things that i’d been feeling. definitely affirmed my feelings
Thank you for talking about this. It’s been hard especially when you read that Bible verse ‘ can a mother forget her suckling child?’ Isaiah 49:15. So hard to talk about this especially when they are still alive and famous in church circles and reputable circles of influence. Phew
This was actually the verse that helped me begin healing plus Psalms27:10
Thank you for sharing your story! The Christian community and overall American culture has to get away from excusing abuse and toxicity if it’s a parent or sibling. We have to forgive them as the Lord instructs us to, but we do not have to keep going to the hurt and the abuse. We can love and forgive from afar to prevent a need for deliverance
Whoops, Nona, whenever I hear your story and look and listen to your life..I'm well aware of what perseverance, favor, and on the other side looks like. And I also just want to hug you and say I wish I could have loaned you my Mom.❤❤ hope to see you in charlotte in a few weeks
I have to say, it should take a woman that has strength rooted in the Lord to share your testimony. I believe that I am healing just listening to your story. I can relate to the narcissist and gaslighting abuse, the neglect and the abandonment. Thank you so much for this. God bless you ❤
Thank you for your vulnerability. Praise God for delivering you from such toxicity.
Well said, I support your journey 100 percent. Take care of yourself and surround yourself around people who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Man going through something like that with your own mom, I cannot even fathom.
Thank you sooo much for this … I thought I was crazy …. However I must forgive and let go of the anger and hurt. For now I have to forgive from afar … God bless you
I'm so glad I came across your channel!
I am in my journey from Mother wounds and God separated me from my family cause I kept going back and they kept on hurting me no matter how I tried to make my Mom and my sisters happy I did not change them and it did not stop them from hurting me, and my mom told me straight in my eyes that she doesn't love me and when God encountered me He told me that what I'm look for in my family, the love i need they don't have it and it is found in Him, I fought with God ,I cried many times and I have move from my family but I was Carrying the guilt feeling like I'm a bad daughter cause I'm no more talking and seeing her more often .so when I was in prayer Gid told me that I am not responsible for their choices ,I am responsible for the way I respond towards them, so yah, thank you for sharing and you actually helped me to be free from the guilt. God bless you and God is healing us completely I believe in that.❤
Thank you Nona for sharing your story.
Thank you for sharing your story. Thankful for your wisdom and hope you shared. You are so valuable.
Wow this resonated so much. The family drama, mother wound, the narcissistic mother.
I have never commented on a video before . Usually I just watch, observe and take in the lesson. But Nona, I just want to say thank you for allowing God to speak through you, to me and I’m sure many others. Our stories are very similar and I needed to hear this. God bless!
Thank you for the courage to share your story, this is so relatable so thank you 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I can feel your hurt and pain. Dont let anyone push you back into reconciling with your mom. Just dont...and dont let those who didnt go through what you went through lecture you and force you into forgiving your mom. You forgive in your heart and as long as the Lord knows it, thats enough.
I totally understand your story... thank you for keeping it honest
Thanks for sharing and for being a Blessing to us. 🖤.
Wow! Thank you for sharing this. This is so comforting and brings much clarity and understanding.
Thank u Nora thank u for sharing much needed to hear❤❤❤
Thank you for being so honest 💔🥺🙏💜🥰
God bless you for this Nona 💖💖💖
Thank you for this 🙏🏾
Thank you Nona
God Bless you and Thank You for sharing ❤❤
You are a beautiful person and I thank God you are still here to share your story and help others to prayerfully see themselves worthy to continue to walk through their darkness with the understanding that they don’t have to do it alone and hope that there is a safer place ahead.❤🙏🏾
Wow this is Powerful ❤
Bless you for being a blessing ❤
Thank you for sharing your story...it Bless me to know forgiveness and repentance is required for an healthy relationship! What a Blessing you are!❤
Nona, Thankyou! I feel so seen through this video. Thankyou for making me feel less alone as I navigate my own mother wounds. Thankyou for your transparency! 🩶
I am crying at the strangle... my ex husband did that to me but God had him stop. My heart breaks for you @Nona Jones. So GLAD God has been with you. ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Blessed by your story. As I lived through such a story until my mom passed. Repentance came on her sick bed.😢
This was like my story! Nona your story has helped me!
Thanks for sharing, Your story demonstrates the power of God and what He can do to a surrendered life. Love you sis
Our stories are so similar!! I needed to hear this!!
Nona,
Unfortunately, your mom saw what was on your life and was extremely jealous of you.
She saw in you what she wanted to be and do and somehow felt that she couldn’t.
May the Lord cause repentance and deliver her from a distorted identity and misappropriated deriving of worth.
GodSpeed Sis. 😘💖👑
Thank you for sharing. My mother is paranoid schizophrenic and all my life she reminds me that I’m not worth anything. I’m at a place where I think I’ve become numb just to keep myself self around her. I’m 45 now, and I have to take care of her… It’s challenging emotionally…
I needed to hear this😢
Wow amazing revelation on forgiveness and repentance thank you for sharing ❤ “you can not love someone up close who isn’t safe”
Thank you for sharing
Thank you Pastor Nona 🙏🏾💫🥰💪🏾😍😘💜💜💜
My mom used to tell me I should have died in the hospital... I was born Prematurely. All the things she ever said or done, she acts as if she don't remember. Narc Free is the wat to be.
Wow, we have almost the same mom.
Hi Nona. You have been an inspiration since I first heard you in one of the Bible App devo. There is something about you that I really like - maybe it’s your confidence and boldness, yet you are still humble. Thank you so much for your vulnerability. Indeed, what the enemy meant for evil, God meant for good. God bless you more!
😊😊😊 Thanks for sharing your testimonial Pastor Nona 😊😊