Your video gives me so much hope! If we can all listen to each other in this way and realize the humanity in the other person - no matter what seems to separate us on the surface - it will bring peace & love to this world. Thank you and Matthias for sharing this beautiful conversation! -Love from Germany
I only found the subtitles later which is great, because when I just watched it looking at your body language the conversation gives the impression that there is no superiority or inferiority, there is just two people talking. It fulfills my need for equality and integration. Thank you!
Hi, I love your videos! I discovered them the other night when I was feeling really low about some modes of speaking at my children's school. Watching you has reconnected me with NVC and restored my faith that moment-by-moment mindfulness practices really can transform everything - it's a way of escaping from the big stories about what a disaster everything is. In Buddhism this is called shraddha - confidence in the practices - and it's a very beautiful feeling :) I enjoyed watching your talk with Mattias. I definitely think practising NVC or new ways of speaking and listening can be a lot easier with someone like him, as it can be with children, as they are perhaps more open to new things, and less averse to feeling out of their depth. I did some NVC listening with my 7 year old daughter the other night, and found it really hilarious how easily she was able to say, 'OK, we're done, you can go now!' once she was 'empty'! So honest and frank! And I felt I'd done a great job. I particularly like the way you focus on reframing 'needs' in more natural language. This is a major obstacle for the student of NVC I think due to the way we're conditioned to avoid talking about our needs. I think you're contributing a lot by focusing on this so much. The challenge is always just having the time to speak and listen properly - with our friends, those we love, ourselves. It's the great poverty of modern life I think. Thanks again! :)
First of all - I love that term “bonus brother!” Wow! I feel very moved by this conversation. I was deeply touched when Mattias shared that he sometimes felt put aside. Thank you for this wonderful video please extend my thanks to Mattias for sharing so vulnerably. And his smile at the end warmed my heart so much and gave me deep joy. Thank you for these teachings. Seeing an interaction is such a powerful tool for me to learn.
I love this video. Thank you very much. P. S. It took me a while to understand where to find the link to the Empathy Toolkit, I kept searching in the description and got to your website, but there I couldn't find it. I finally found it in the information button, but I think more people would find it if it were in the description as well.
Wish I could have understood the actual dialogue you were having with Mateus ! I think it would have helped me understand the process more. Nevertheless I am really enjoying the learning from your videos...so many thanks for this helpful resource
Have u read "motivational interviewing 3rd edition"? You would love it and also "solutions focused theory" as it talks about the genuine way u lean in to those you listen to and use non verbal and verbal prompts to reflectively/actively listen and ya its also quite evident u may a type of empath, if u will. I say this because I'm observing the keen way u are able to tune into others using non-verbal ques. A being with and toward. Very egalitarian. And Or dont read it as u embody it already. Lol I'm addicted to ur channel now. Every video is like restoring my faith in social media ability to be conducive to prosociality.
Oh "mind sight" by David Segal and work in the field of interpersonal neurobiology and what he terms mindsight. Shine on Marianne our world needs ur flavour more than other. No pressure lol
Hi Marianne, thank you for this helpful tips and shared moment of connection. I would like to know if you have ideas about how to deal with feelings of discomfort and awkwardness that I could be feeling on such occasions, preventing me from being fully listening, open and sincere. From your tips, I guess I could already share it aloud and say "I feel a bit awkward", but I'm afraid it might not always help. This question is also raised by another one of your tip : to give space enough so that silences can happen - you seem to be comfortable in silence so I would like to know if you've always been or if you have found some tips that help dealing with discomfort. (I personally often feel uneasy with my stomach when the conversation stops a little too often for my taste).
I learned to be more comfortable with silence, and partially it is also a preference. Not everybody likes it, so it's really about experimenting! Maybe start with having a very short silence, and build it up? If you feel discomfort: focus on that feeling in your stomach and observe what it is like. And indeed: sometimes saying you feel awkward doesnt take away all the awkwardness!! And sometimes it does and you can laugh about it ;-) Good luck experimenting! And if you like more support join my course, would love to help you there.
@@wildernessdawn Bottom right on a laptop or pc, on your phone it's 3 dots in upper right corner. For some reason the captions are called 'Dutch' while they are english.
@@CupofEmpathy oh can that be fixed at this stage? I looked & didnt ''experiment' because I thought it was in Dutch. I'll watch & listen again -- so a benefit after all!
The subs are called 'Dutch' for some reason, but they are English. Just dont click the auto-generated one. At least that's how it works here at my laptop, macbook. What device are you on? Can you try the subs that are called 'Dutch' and see if they are actually english?
@@CupofEmpathy I noticed that in the subs for this one "shoulds" was written as "shoots" When I checked the subs I found it was called Nederländska (I'm Swedish). I am assuming you started from the Dutch autotranscription and made that into en English version, but it kept the name. You could easily export the SRT file and reimport it as English. I've worked a lot with CC on YT and might be able to help. You might be interested in this page I've written. fastereft.se/wordpress/healingmagic-and-subtitles/ Keep up the good work!
I found me feeling often labelled by others in a siblings chat-group. Where if I ádrese a comment or question to one of my siblings, often another sibling criticises me for saying or asking that, before the receptor if my comment has a chance to say something. So is a labelling in group moment. And if I react to that critic then another sibling goes on and criticise my new comment/answer labelling me even more! 😢😮
Let me know what you think of this video!
I think ur an emotional pioneer trailblazing paths!
Your video gives me so much hope! If we can all listen to each other in this way and realize the humanity in the other person - no matter what seems to separate us on the surface - it will bring peace & love to this world. Thank you and Matthias for sharing this beautiful conversation! -Love from Germany
@@shakespearefan80 thank you so much Sarah!!
I only found the subtitles later which is great, because when I just watched it looking at your body language the conversation gives the impression that there is no superiority or inferiority, there is just two people talking. It fulfills my need for equality and integration. Thank you!
Thank you for the appreciation Alexandra!
Hi, I love your videos! I discovered them the other night when I was feeling really low about some modes of speaking at my children's school. Watching you has reconnected me with NVC and restored my faith that moment-by-moment mindfulness practices really can transform everything - it's a way of escaping from the big stories about what a disaster everything is. In Buddhism this is called shraddha - confidence in the practices - and it's a very beautiful feeling :)
I enjoyed watching your talk with Mattias. I definitely think practising NVC or new ways of speaking and listening can be a lot easier with someone like him, as it can be with children, as they are perhaps more open to new things, and less averse to feeling out of their depth. I did some NVC listening with my 7 year old daughter the other night, and found it really hilarious how easily she was able to say, 'OK, we're done, you can go now!' once she was 'empty'! So honest and frank! And I felt I'd done a great job.
I particularly like the way you focus on reframing 'needs' in more natural language. This is a major obstacle for the student of NVC I think due to the way we're conditioned to avoid talking about our needs. I think you're contributing a lot by focusing on this so much.
The challenge is always just having the time to speak and listen properly - with our friends, those we love, ourselves. It's the great poverty of modern life I think.
Thanks again! :)
First of all - I love that term “bonus brother!” Wow! I feel very moved by this conversation. I was deeply touched when Mattias shared that he sometimes felt put aside. Thank you for this wonderful video please extend my thanks to Mattias for sharing so vulnerably. And his smile at the end warmed my heart so much and gave me deep joy. Thank you for these teachings. Seeing an interaction is such a powerful tool for me to learn.
yay im so glad to hear this!!
I love your videos and would love to see a demo like this in English.
I love this video. Thank you very much.
P. S. It took me a while to understand where to find the link to the Empathy Toolkit, I kept searching in the description and got to your website, but there I couldn't find it. I finally found it in the information button, but I think more people would find it if it were in the description as well.
I still haven't been able to find it!
cupofempathy.com/get-the-empathy-toolkit/
Thanks for letting me know, Ill put it more clearly in the description box!
Always so valuable you are...
Wish I could have understood the actual dialogue you were having with Mateus ! I think it would have helped me understand the process more.
Nevertheless I am really enjoying the learning from your videos...so many thanks for this helpful resource
Have u read "motivational interviewing 3rd edition"? You would love it and also "solutions focused theory" as it talks about the genuine way u lean in to those you listen to and use non verbal and verbal prompts to reflectively/actively listen and ya its also quite evident u may a type of empath, if u will. I say this because I'm observing the keen way u are able to tune into others using non-verbal ques. A being with and toward. Very egalitarian. And
Or dont read it as u embody it already. Lol I'm addicted to ur channel now. Every video is like restoring my faith in social media ability to be conducive to prosociality.
That was beautiful. I feel happy too now!
yay!!
Oh "mind sight" by David Segal and work in the field of interpersonal neurobiology and what he terms mindsight. Shine on Marianne our world needs ur flavour more than other. No pressure lol
Hi Marianne, thank you for this helpful tips and shared moment of connection. I would like to know if you have ideas about how to deal with feelings of discomfort and awkwardness that I could be feeling on such occasions, preventing me from being fully listening, open and sincere. From your tips, I guess I could already share it aloud and say "I feel a bit awkward", but I'm afraid it might not always help. This question is also raised by another one of your tip : to give space enough so that silences can happen - you seem to be comfortable in silence so I would like to know if you've always been or if you have found some tips that help dealing with discomfort. (I personally often feel uneasy with my stomach when the conversation stops a little too often for my taste).
I learned to be more comfortable with silence, and partially it is also a preference. Not everybody likes it, so it's really about experimenting! Maybe start with having a very short silence, and build it up? If you feel discomfort: focus on that feeling in your stomach and observe what it is like. And indeed: sometimes saying you feel awkward doesnt take away all the awkwardness!! And sometimes it does and you can laugh about it ;-) Good luck experimenting! And if you like more support join my course, would love to help you there.
Is there English translation for the conversation ?
Yes, turn on the CC in the bottom of the video.
I don't see the CC option, where is that?
@@wildernessdawn Bottom right on a laptop or pc, on your phone it's 3 dots in upper right corner. For some reason the captions are called 'Dutch' while they are english.
@@CupofEmpathy oh can that be fixed at this stage? I looked & didnt ''experiment' because I thought it was in Dutch. I'll watch & listen again -- so a benefit after all!
Or maybe say that I the Description box?
Turned on the CC but for me there is no English option (only Dutch). Is anyone else having this problem?
The subs are called 'Dutch' for some reason, but they are English. Just dont click the auto-generated one. At least that's how it works here at my laptop, macbook. What device are you on? Can you try the subs that are called 'Dutch' and see if they are actually english?
Cup of Empathy Thanks! It worked, they are English. I am using an IPad.
@@jennifergreydanus8660 Happy to hear, thanks for letting me know!
@@CupofEmpathy I noticed that in the subs for this one "shoulds" was written as "shoots"
When I checked the subs I found it was called Nederländska (I'm Swedish). I am assuming you started from the Dutch autotranscription and made that into en English version, but it kept the name. You could easily export the SRT file and reimport it as English. I've worked a lot with CC on YT and might be able to help. You might be interested in this page I've written. fastereft.se/wordpress/healingmagic-and-subtitles/
Keep up the good work!
I found me feeling often labelled by others in a siblings chat-group. Where if I ádrese a comment or question to one of my siblings, often another sibling criticises me for saying or asking that, before the receptor if my comment has a chance to say something.
So is a labelling in group moment. And if I react to that critic then another sibling goes on and criticise my new comment/answer labelling me even more!
😢😮
That sounds tough Mario..❤ thanks for sharing