Dissociative Identity Disorder Documentary: The Lives I Lead | BBC Radio 1

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ก.ย. 2024
  • www.bbc.co.uk/...
    The story of Jessica and her 6 alternate identities, which include a Hollywood actor; a doctor; a hairdresser; a 14-year-old schoolboy and a six year old.
    Jessica lives with multiple personalities as part of her Dissociative Identity Disorder. All six live in her body and five of them are male.
    Each identity has its own distinctive trait ranging from the use of prescription glasses to being left-handed; neither of which are native to Jessica. Her "alters" exist within a complex system, where they are all known to each other - two of them are brothers, and two of them are partners who have a son.
    Through the use of interviews and dramatisation, the true reality of this controversial and often misunderstood condition is finally visualised.
    Credits:
    Role Contributor
    Producer / Director Piers Sanderson
    Director of photography Sean Francis
    Editor Piers Sanderson
    Fine Cut Editor Brad Hayward
    Colourist Vlad Barin
    Sound Editor Christopher Wilson
    Production Assistant Tanimowo McDowell
    Production Assistant Tom Taylor
    Makeup Artist Ellie Hocking
    Jessica Hazel O’ Neil
    Ed Tom Parish
    Jamie David Flanagan
    Jake Will Sid Smith
    Teenage Ed Joshua Glenister
    Teenage Jamie Calvin Crawley
    Teenage Jake Felix Moore
    Jessica’s school friend Harriet Slater
    Young Jessica Isabella Djuve-Wood
    Little Jake Hugo Graham
    Executive Producer for BBC Sam Bailey
    Executive Producer Thomas Stogdon
    Executive Producer Dhanny Joshi

ความคิดเห็น • 677

  • @AtlanticGiantPumpkin
    @AtlanticGiantPumpkin 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1293

    (Friendly reminder to never use ace bandages to bind)

    • @phillipschilltime1237
      @phillipschilltime1237 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Hazel Grey I wish I had them tho ehhhh

    • @sundeity4
      @sundeity4 6 ปีที่แล้ว +130

      ace bandages break your ribs friend. invest in a binder or good sports bra

    • @themedia1271
      @themedia1271 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      I once used ace bandages to wrap my legs when I was a lifeguard. Horrible idea! I got a second degree friction burn

    • @kazemizu6284
      @kazemizu6284 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Yeah, I really wished theyd stop showing it :/

    • @nickreynolds9745
      @nickreynolds9745 5 ปีที่แล้ว +77

      as a trans man and camp counselor to some trans boys i can not stress enough how important safe binding is. my ribs are permanently malformed because of unsafe binding when i was 14. and im lucky i didnt get worse issues!

  • @MeMyselfNAleu
    @MeMyselfNAleu 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2176

    For those that keep asking about Ollie - He wasn’t in it because the time slot they had wasn’t long enough to include everything and the particular part of Jess’ life they wanted to show was before Ollie was around. I know he’s not bothered that he’s not in it - as he told me! Haha!
    Well done guys! Proud of you xxx

    • @MeganxMayhem1
      @MeganxMayhem1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I was wondering about that

    • @shannonhensley2942
      @shannonhensley2942 6 ปีที่แล้ว +42

      I feel like you should have at least an hour to explain this better. I wish the boys could have had a lot more involment in the film. But however I feel this was a great small film. You explained a lot in a short time and it was done really well.

    • @MiraMoonASMR
      @MiraMoonASMR 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      what about the other alters

    • @MeMyselfNAleu
      @MeMyselfNAleu 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Shannon Hensley I believe it was going to be a 20 minute piece but then with all the content they pushed for a 40 minute slot; but they ended up having to cut it down to 20 minutes in the end. Jess and the boys are trying to find out if they can have the rest of the content that wasn’t used so you guys can see it x

    • @wotterdawg9236
      @wotterdawg9236 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Me Myself N Aleu You guys all make me feel like I can actually live normally at some point. Thank you so much.. all of you... 😚

  • @DissociaDID
    @DissociaDID 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1675

    Guys, how do you feel about the way the BBC edited this? Are you happy with the final product? Congratulations, this must have been a lot of hard work between you all!

    • @beautyprofessional4life554
      @beautyprofessional4life554 6 ปีที่แล้ว +107

      DissociaDID, if I may give my personal opinion...loved the edit, just wish it was at least an hour long! Haha, more to come with Ollie and maybe the other alters!! I find all of this very interesting and informative, even though I don't have this condition. D.I.D. should not be referred to or seen as "crazy". Having compassion, patience, empathy, and love is what these struggling ppl need!

    • @DissociaDID
      @DissociaDID 6 ปีที่แล้ว +311

      Hi! People with DID definitely deserve the same treatment as any other member of society; compassion, patience, empathy and love, you are exactly right! So glad that the hard work of Jess and her boys and other Systems are helping to destigmatize our disorder. It's not as scary as it sounds! Without MultiplicityAndMe, I honestly don't the community would have as much recognition as we do now, we are incredibly thankful for all the work they have done at a cost to themselves, and hope to help share the burden on that front!

    • @Katya_Lastochka
      @Katya_Lastochka 6 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      DissociaDID I think people with any mental disorder deserve even more compassion than the usual. It just sucks.

    • @dojagrl209
      @dojagrl209 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      hi have you taken the test ? www.16personalities.com

    • @Kree.B.
      @Kree.B. 5 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @@night_beastie I think it did a good job capturing how scary it must be coming to the realization of what's going on. I wish it had been longer to explain better what happens after the realization and what life is possible moving forward, but I didn't see it as editing it out of a horror perspective.

  • @jokinotter6524
    @jokinotter6524 6 ปีที่แล้ว +282

    I love how they first put them as people. They portray them as individuals cause that’s who they are. Then they show that these people reside in the same body.

  • @TheEntropySystem
    @TheEntropySystem 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1217

    This is amazing. You and the boys dictated this so well. I feel like the actors really nailed their performance! The way they were introduced as “those close to you” first really forces an unfamiliar audience to see them a full individuals despite any preconceived notions about the disorder. I’m so happy you got an opportunity to share your story with the world in this way. It’s a bit of a shame that they scored and shot it a bit like a scary film but even despite that your testimonies are positive and powerful. -Wyn

    • @melissabeingmelissa
      @melissabeingmelissa 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      (Watched this for the first time now) I disagree with the last line and want to share why for any systems who'll read I personally didn't think "they scored and shot it a bit like a scary film" while watching. I feel those components brought it together perfectly-- we were tearing up /because/ it was done this way.
      Our system is very different than yours. We have dozens of alters+ fragments but not one of us has a name yet, we don't even go by the birth name, yet we front and switch constantly & communicate through it. (That's been our reality for the last year & a half. We're focused on integrating activity in order to unblend our parts).
      I understand your feelings towards DID representation is not to show the "scary" because 1) our traumas were scary enough 2) Hollywood just has us in that genre. You know, "show how successful life with DID can be."
      When I have a TH-cam channel someday, I'm going to do that, yes, but I'm also going to show that other side because it needs to be known about. It's actually a goal of mine to create "scary" short films about DID that have nothing to do with an antagonist but to show the reality of experiencing changes in consciousness and reality to distressing degrees. Because that was our life & sometimes still is.
      (But of course always including the message of bravery & hope!)

  • @aaronwilder2775
    @aaronwilder2775 6 ปีที่แล้ว +683

    Just have to say the guy who played Ed did his voice pretty spot on, thumbs up dude :)

  • @misskyliesue
    @misskyliesue 6 ปีที่แล้ว +547

    Only 5 minutes in, BUT HOLY COW THE BOYS' ACTORS ARE SO SPOT ON!!!! Absolutely insane how well they took to the characters. So proud of you all for creating this!!!!

  • @georgerobins4110
    @georgerobins4110 5 ปีที่แล้ว +212

    Honestly when the actor portraying Ed said “a bit of a pushover” it immediately struck me: that is Ed. These actors did such an amazing job!

  • @wibblewobble489
    @wibblewobble489 6 ปีที่แล้ว +390

    My heart breaks for little Jake. I hope he has someone in there taking care of him. Or that you guys are able to turn lights on, make him a nice safe cosy space to live etc. Also- i had no idea Jaime was so unhelpful/reserved in the beginning HAHAHAHAHA i legit always thought he was your ISH and as such he'd always been like that. So interesting to see and understand how everyone's roles have changed now over the more adultier years. Thanks again for doing this i really loved it and will show all my friends for sure.

    • @Dynamicfaithfullove
      @Dynamicfaithfullove 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Well internal helpers are a thing in many systems. We have one who rarely comes out but he is our biggest "persecutor's" support system while she isnt fronting. They are very good friends and slowly Westly has been helping her overcome that.
      Systems are so complex, but everything in them tends to function a certain way for a reason, and systems do the best they can with the information they have access to.

  • @ser2952
    @ser2952 6 ปีที่แล้ว +275

    That was very cool. I thought the end was especially powerful when they showed the actors as the boys (who by the way did an amazing job) and then cut to the actual recordings of Jake, Ed, and Jamie. Very well done!

    • @evavox9761
      @evavox9761 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Wish System, My favorite part too. :)

    • @jjdrama
      @jjdrama 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I agree, I think introducing them through actors first made it easier to see them speaking through Jess's body, rather than assuming it was Jess acting like various boys.

  • @bettythepumpkin
    @bettythepumpkin 6 ปีที่แล้ว +200

    Oh my god. I'm crying. This is me...so me...except mine are all female except for one.
    From the bottom of my heart. I'm so grateful for you putting this out there and getting DID more recognised.
    Thank you. Beth, Tabz, Savannah, Rosetta and others. Xx

    • @mevrouwroos
      @mevrouwroos 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I hope things have been going well for you! ♥️

    • @Kaatherian
      @Kaatherian 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think I have more make alters than female but who knows, there’s 43 of us in total
      -Viktor(host)

    • @moontriskeletribe2796
      @moontriskeletribe2796 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here. It can be hard to live with so many girls / women. And the raccoon... well. He can't talk. But he's fun. Crazy thing.
      Gosh. I love all of our... tribe.
      Jo

  • @Ritaaw1
    @Ritaaw1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    This channel is the reason why I realized I have dissociation and why I got diagnosed. Never stop spreading the awareness!

    • @DembaiVT
      @DembaiVT 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Videos like this causing me to blackout over and over again, but without changing position at all...
      Going to have to talk to my shrink about this.

    • @tealwashablemarker8886
      @tealwashablemarker8886 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DembaiVT well then, what happened when you did?

    • @greyspookss
      @greyspookss ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DembaiVT me too

  • @Blakeontherise
    @Blakeontherise 6 ปีที่แล้ว +250

    honestly there needs to be a part 2 with Ollie

    • @HerBirdieGirl
      @HerBirdieGirl 6 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Aladdin Senpai and Gaz he's the most amazing hubby to a system who speaks out loud & proud of his wife Jess! Been 10 yrs so they're doing tons right!

    • @Blakeontherise
      @Blakeontherise 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      That's so true they now need to add in the story of Ollie and the story of Gaz in part 2

    • @juliedouglas7345
      @juliedouglas7345 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      They are making one with Ollie actually

    • @persephone2706
      @persephone2706 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      There is now!

  • @emmaalbertlockwood7469
    @emmaalbertlockwood7469 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    My thoughts are, why was nobody looking out for her.. Didn't someone, a teacher or family member realise something was wrong. It's so bizarre.

  • @savannam.7048
    @savannam.7048 6 ปีที่แล้ว +311

    Oh my, this was so amazing! It's so much more real than much else I've seen. Perhaps those unfamiliar with DID will have a more realistic and sympathetic position towards it if they see this. Those actors did such a great job as the boys, just from what I've had the privilege of seeing of the boys. I know second hand how terrifying it can be in the beginning because my mom has DID, but I also know the beauty and relief of a functioning, harmonious system. I am so grateful you shared this with all of us. Wonderful. Just wonderful, Jess, Boys and actors. It was really lovely.

  • @amandagriggs9646
    @amandagriggs9646 6 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    This is the realest and most clear representation of DID I have ever seen! it’s crazy how close the actors are to Jess’ description of the guys.

  • @sarahpearce7039
    @sarahpearce7039 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Also I always feel so bad for Jake, he’s such a sweetheart but you can see he has issues with a lot of things. Body dysmorphia and that “it’s not his life”
    He’s been so strong and so brave, so have you all

  • @MarieAnne3403
    @MarieAnne3403 6 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    This is absolutely incredible! I am so fascinated by this, and as a social worker I love that you willingly bring light to this! I honestly had no real idea of what DID was before I discovered your channel, and I want to thank you and everyone else for putting yourselves out there like this to help inform others. I will always continue to watch with an open mind and heart, and I hope others do the same!

  • @WolfLykaios
    @WolfLykaios 5 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    This is like... Artistic.
    I feel sad. I feel happy. And I feel... Like I had a glimse in what DID feels like.
    Good job, everyone. Good job.

  • @3y3sunc1oud3d
    @3y3sunc1oud3d 6 ปีที่แล้ว +365

    i don't really get any jake vibes from the guy who plays him. he seems super sweet, but he's just not really like jake. the boy who plays ed is fucking awesome though.

    • @kikelomoomofaye1065
      @kikelomoomofaye1065 6 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      panic! in the bathtub I don't either. It's a bummer because the rest of it was just amazing.

    • @Kelly-xp3wm
      @Kelly-xp3wm 6 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Agreed. Jake is an all American straight kid. Idk why they would cast a gay British guy.

    • @liminalusts
      @liminalusts 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I thought the cast Is choosen by the alters

    • @MultiplicityAndMe
      @MultiplicityAndMe  6 ปีที่แล้ว +111

      They were involved in choosing but from a small pool and small budget

    • @Jen18lol
      @Jen18lol 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I liked the Jamie!

  • @PrincessTokyoMoon
    @PrincessTokyoMoon 6 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Im not crying you are T____T
    Honestly, I have never related more to the part about trying to find yourself. Yeah, everyone goes through it, but having alters - being in a system - makes it so much more confusing to work out who YOU really are, and who you want to be.
    This is really, a wonderful documentary

  • @bunnybonsaza
    @bunnybonsaza 6 ปีที่แล้ว +102

    The part about gender, where binding and baggy clothes was what you could do to help the alien feeling. I get that. My alter hates the fact that I'm female, he goes on about how he was a man trapped in a girl's body.
    I never really got the blackout thing though. For me, I would feel the loss of control and I had to watch the alter do what they were going to do. I would be conscious of what was happening but, when they returned control to me... it would be like waking up from a dream, i couldn't remember what happened. With DID I struggle to release control, I'm afraid for my alters to be out and be themselves. The look that they get when trying to introduce themselves is heart breaking. It makes them stop talking or just to leave the conversation all together. I'm afraid of judgement on me...

    • @teezy7818
      @teezy7818 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I wish only the best for all of you. I think that one day you guys will figure out how to live together and with other people happily

    • @sleepykitty1745
      @sleepykitty1745 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That could be OSDD
      There is not only DID

  • @custardgirl
    @custardgirl 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My god jess this blew me away! I sobbed with identification. I lived that chaos of not knowing till I was 44, then our internal walls started to crumble. I can't find words to express how painful that was, but it meant we could finally get the right help. It's a daily struggle. Thankyou so much for sharing x

  • @taylorholloway4501
    @taylorholloway4501 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    There’s a girl at my school who has DID, so far I’ve seen 3 identities. I’ve always been amazed by the human mind. As she gets bullied and made fun of a lot it really makes my angry because it’s not like she can help it. I’ve heard boys mock her at the lunch table while sitting with her and it just aches me to the core. I think it’s unbelievable things like this exist. It’s truly unremarkable. I tell her all the time not to listen to people, or tell her identities because they’re all truly unremarkable and some people just do not understand, and what people do not understand they will make a mockery of. It’s just the way life is, u just have to stick through it.

    • @georgerobins4110
      @georgerobins4110 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Taylor Holloway
      I'm sure that she and her identities really appreciate your kindness :)

  • @MarieAxelsson
    @MarieAxelsson 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Finally watched this in full, and the end bit, where the actors start the thought and Jess's system finishes it, is so powerful.

  • @kezy111
    @kezy111 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I have DID but it's a complete split with total amnesia every time. I know nothing about my alter other than what I'm told and same goes for her. It can be terrifying at times. I hate coming around somewhere with no recollection as to how I got there. Jess is so brave and I applaud her for raising awareness for DID

  • @bluebabiigirl7
    @bluebabiigirl7 6 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    This documentary was so good! I just found your page yesterday & watched nearly all of your videos. I love who you are and it has opened my eyes to this disorder which is extremely interesting to me. You are by far the best one who can explain the reality of it & not what they betray your disorder to be like. Hope all of my words came out correctly lol love love love you! 😍

  • @maimairocks
    @maimairocks 6 ปีที่แล้ว +448

    video suggestion: alters react to this documentary :)

    • @leahhosman8896
      @leahhosman8896 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      avrilsakura05 yes that would be great !

    • @purplecatloverrandompizza
      @purplecatloverrandompizza 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Their already familiar with it at least

    • @mossiris816
      @mossiris816 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I need them to see this

    • @iloveyou-sw2bi
      @iloveyou-sw2bi 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The pancake System they literally helped script it

    • @lithiumkid
      @lithiumkid 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      sounds redundant but also very potentially triggering.

  • @TheHomesteadingHobbit
    @TheHomesteadingHobbit 6 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    Sweet girl...I adore you. You all are so brave, and I believe you are a beacon to so many out in the world who are just starting their DID journey. You are absolutely special, Jess!

    • @summahthevegan3796
      @summahthevegan3796 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The Modest Hobbit agreed.
      It's sad she/they had to figure this out alone and weren't given much help professionally, but now, the new people coming to learn about this either happening to them or a friend won't feel so lost snd alone and can know that there is a good future ahead.

  • @aon02b
    @aon02b 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    It's amazing how your brain can deal with traumatic experiences in many different ways. My brain's way of dealing was to just erase all memories of childhood. I have no recollection of my life before my teenage years whatsoever. My earliest memories are from when I was about 12 or 13 years old. I know what happened to me because people in my life have told me, but it always feels like they're telling me about someone else's life because I can't remember a single thing. And I think it's so crazy how the human brain can just device to do something like that. Idk. It's interesting to see stuff like this

    • @tawnyprovince-ward2353
      @tawnyprovince-ward2353 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I know you posted this two years ago, but I know three people that cannot remember early childhood for the same reason. I’m jealous of you that can do that.

  • @beans1648
    @beans1648 6 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    I’m so glad that this has been made!! It is a huge step forward for recognition that the disorder isn’t how it is presented in the media! I am so pleased for you Jess and for the other alters! Kind of sad that Ollie wasn’t in the film though!

  • @hestikleynhans4926
    @hestikleynhans4926 6 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    The music sounds so sinister in the beginning. But Thank you for this, I know it must have been hard for you. You are amazing.

    • @DembaiVT
      @DembaiVT 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      it's a common field technique used to drawing audiences because they already have such a negative opinion people would be there for more surprised to realize that these close friends... Were her alters the whole time.

  • @MomDragana
    @MomDragana 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Amazing documentary
    Just damn the BBC needs to invest in better cameras

  • @filizmely
    @filizmely 6 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    This is amazing! Thank you for making it accessible for non UK viewers :)

  • @larrythehedgehog7232
    @larrythehedgehog7232 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Watching this video is like watching pieces of my life and what I went through all these years. Thank you for making us feel understood outside of our psychiatrists and therapist, outisde of professional diagnosis I simply want to thank you for representing the real faces of this disorder.

  • @lanacooper2086
    @lanacooper2086 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I have DID. i would be so broken with out my alters. Having DID can suck, but if i didnt have it I would have gone crazy or would have commited suicide. Having DID has put me in nagative situations and some traumatising situations but I would feel broken with out it. My alters are my family and my everything. We are family. If my DID could be taken away at the snap of a finger i would say no. Dont take them

  • @Sky-kx2mv
    @Sky-kx2mv 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This is absolutely breathtaking. I am pursuing psychology and would love to be able to help children struggling with DID as well as adults with acceptance and support Thankyou for creating a safe place for people and making awareness I love it

  • @estrellacintron-forrest588
    @estrellacintron-forrest588 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Had to write a psychology paper on a mood disorder or something like schizophrenia. I chose DID because of the videos You and your alters had made. I fell in love with each one of them I can not fathom how hard it was going through what you guys have. I just hope you know how much it means to me and how much I love you all, really. You made me understand a very tough subject that many do not think about so thank you.

  • @KyahTheAuthor
    @KyahTheAuthor 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Showed this to my college English students today who are practicing writing and responding to media. Well done and informative. They seemed intrigued--hope I helped a little as an ally to end the Stigma. Thanks for your bravery Jess and boys. :)

  • @jackr5056
    @jackr5056 6 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Jess you are such a fabulous storyteller, you really really are. And you and the boys are so rad for sharing this story. Also those actors even like nailed the postures of the boys it was sooo cool!

  • @missl1775
    @missl1775 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This is so magnificently done, whether you know the relationship between Jess, Ed, Jamie and Jake ahead of time or not. Just so well done.
    The explanation is paced, the emotions are very clearly conveyed but not overpowering, Jess's determination to study was palpable... You have done so much for the mental health world and I have no doubt that somewhere, there's a direct link between what all of you have done and the reason I am able to get help today.

    • @missl1775
      @missl1775 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for seeing and acknowledging this comment. I wish I had written more. Thank you again for everything you have done and everything you do

  • @tieiatalks
    @tieiatalks 6 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    Thank you for being so brave and generous by sharing your story. I feel in my heart that you’re going to make a difference to a lot of people. ❤️

  • @dylancole5985
    @dylancole5985 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This was really well done, made me forget That the subject was DID throughout the video. I felt that the actors portrayed your alters really well, I’m sure they enjoy when you actually give them bodies to match their presence, I enjoyed this.

  • @dgm01994
    @dgm01994 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    That was incredible. Wow. DID has fascinated me for years. I studied Psychology for 2 years before changing my studies to Film and I loved learning about all the various disorders and always found DID the most fascinating. Well done Jess Ed Jake and Jamie (and Ollie too even though he wasn’t in it) following your story has given me more of an insight and deepened my fascination more as a person but also an aspiring filmmaker because I know how to portray this if I ever had too. Best wishes and love from a supporter across the pond in America xx

  • @ariri3001
    @ariri3001 6 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    This is amazing! All the actors did such a good job (especially little Jess)! I wish it was available in a higher quality though haha

  • @shawneexsavage
    @shawneexsavage 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I really love how this documentary was created. You’re doing such wonderful things for the community. I’ve been a silent follower for YEARS now, stumbled upon your “Meet the Alters” video ages ago, and I’ve been in love with you and the boys ever since.
    Keep doing what you’re doing, I’ll never know the struggles that you’ve personally gone through, but i know you’re touching so many with your story! 🖤

  • @kacedia
    @kacedia 6 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    You know, Jess, the is the first time that I've really pondered the question of "where were her parents?" I can't recall a video of you discussing your family and how they handled this process of discovery as you were growing up.

    • @Marissa-bh4uk
      @Marissa-bh4uk 6 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      Kacey Gideon She's said in her live stream - and I think in some other videos - that she doesn't discuss her family at all, so I think she's trying to - in her way - respect them by excluding them from her channel..

    • @persona3444
      @persona3444 6 ปีที่แล้ว +108

      Kacey Gideon
      DID is caused by severe, severe tramua at a young age- which is often caused by family.
      I don't want to make assumptions but I believe her parents were the reason this happened.

    • @tinntimtinn
      @tinntimtinn 6 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      i think jess mentioned in her livestream that family is a topic she won't talk about

    • @kacedia
      @kacedia 6 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      OstrichWearingHeadphones As soon as I hit "enter", I thought of that. If that's the case, of course I wouldn't expect there to be a discussion on it. My Mama's heart was just so concerned for "young Jess" going through the turmoil. ♥️

    • @adnileb567
      @adnileb567 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I've just now thought of this too reading your comments. I'm getting sick to my stomach just thinking about that possibility. Gosh, I have no words. ♡

  • @harveym.glatman5955
    @harveym.glatman5955 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am a new alter in a Dissociative Identity System, and was given this link to watch to help me understand my position and what’s going on. It was incredibly beneficial. I relate a lot to Jake and how he feels about being an alter. I previously had no idea I had DID until I was told by the fiancé of one of our members. It’s quite overwhelming. Thank you for all that you do and the education you provide.

  • @insecureegg
    @insecureegg 6 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    This was wonderful! It was so beautifully filmed and the actors were amazing! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. This was incredible.

  • @corfortium2834
    @corfortium2834 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My heart breaks for Jake. I’ve seen in the livestream about Jess’s baby how he’d handled it. And, I’m just wishing him well and sending him good vibes.

  • @binglebongletimey
    @binglebongletimey 6 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    This was *very* well done!
    The approach that was chosen to show Jake, Jaime and Ed (Also Ollie, and alters in general) in a way that shows them not just as "personalides" but as people who have taken place in Jess' life, was a brilliant idea
    Sorry for my english 😣
    *And thank you so much for bringing awareness about DID for people that are trying to understand themselves better (with DID or other kind of problem that just seems impossible to cope with) and for the people that are just trying to understand the world*
    Thank you everyone involved 💜

  • @antoniomendez9808
    @antoniomendez9808 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I cried when they did the cuts from the actors to the boys talking. This is amazing and so touching, you did a fantastic job with this

  • @Naimify98
    @Naimify98 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I literally started crying near the end because of how much I relate to this. I myself have DID as well. Jess and her alters were actually the people who helped me figure it out. I realised I had DID before I was diagnosed with it. I was aware of it for almost 2 years before I was diagnosed. And I relate so much to Jess's story. I wasn't expecting to cry. But I did. I loved this.

  • @elladowney6518
    @elladowney6518 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This film was truly amazing. This gave me the best idea of how jess and her alters came to be, and what she had to go through over the years. Im amazed at this video! Everyone did such a good job. Im so happy that jess,ed,jake, and jamie showed us what DID was like at a young age.

  • @oscarh1616
    @oscarh1616 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is totally unrelated and i’m so proud of you guys for doing this but just a side note if anyone ever wants to bind their chest PLEASE DON’T USE ACE BANDAGE you can really really hurt your ribs

  • @ramonoliveiraz3
    @ramonoliveiraz3 6 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Thank you so much for helping us understand even more this condition. Much love to you Jess, Gaz and the boys!

  • @MysticSynergy
    @MysticSynergy 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    thank you so much for posting this so people outside of the UK can watch! it was really well done and I'm glad the guys also had a chance to appear themselves and not just the actors playing them (who did a phenomenal job!)

  • @PeachyDarlin
    @PeachyDarlin 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Oh so Ed was a Persecutor before a Protector? Fascinating ;o

  • @amandagrayson389
    @amandagrayson389 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    This was a really powerful presentation. Thanks to you, the boys and the actors for participating in this and helping to put this together. I liked how the film showed how everyone was so separated at first and how hard that was. This gives people a taste and hopefully an understanding what DID is like.

  • @jusapoet72
    @jusapoet72 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This was my life to a T from 14-24. This video describes some of the most significant experiences of having DID and living within an incredibly complex system that primarily perceives (therefore experiences) the world symbolically or archetypally; which is the opposite of how most people experience life. This way of perceiving is well understood by Indigenous nations and is deeply connected to the environment and instinct. It's just that those with DID begin (being) rooted in horrific environments rather than the land. Understand the difference? Those with DID can find HUGE support and understanding by learning directly from indigenous cultures who are reaching out now to share lifesaving wisdom.

  • @Stephanie102684
    @Stephanie102684 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I loved this. Ever since I found out about DID I've wanted to learn everything about it and I am just grateful that I came across this channel and other systems as well and get to learn about it through them. I love learning about the disorder and about how life is as the host and as an alter. I commend people with this disorder for sharing their lives with us. The more they put their voices out there, the more people can learn and can put those stereotypes and stigmas to bed.

  • @callmemrspain
    @callmemrspain 6 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    “Little Jake” that was mentioned towards the end, is that the Jake that we know who was speaking out in the video or is that another little alter that hasn’t been fully explored/introduced to the system yet?
    Lovely video!! So many things discussed that I can relate to that I’ve not known how to put into words. Thank you for this! ❤️

    • @nailamm5255
      @nailamm5255 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Miranda Pain "little Jake" is another alter who normally not appears on the outside. He's the "hurt childish one". She said that in a life stream.
      Sry I can't remember witch one it was.
      Sry also about some fails in this text. I'm a girl living in Germany.
      Greets from here.

    • @callmemrspain
      @callmemrspain 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Naila MM thank you for the clarification! Greetings from the states! ❤️

    • @V1CKYTH31CKY
      @V1CKYTH31CKY 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Oh thanks! I honestly thought it would have been ollie but then i saw the pinned comment and then this one and im good now lol

    • @Kmodoe
      @Kmodoe 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Little Jake is a part of Jake that split off and has some of the trama memories

    • @wiseoneedarra593
      @wiseoneedarra593 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@Kmodoe Whenever I think about the alters in someone's system whose job it is to remember the trauma, my heart breaks. And that it is so often a little. It's hard to think about a child suffering constantly like that, even if it's for a purpose.

  • @ggemini613
    @ggemini613 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My first time seeing this, but I'm in awe at how much I connect and relate to this. Some things clicked, other things were quickly shaken away, all over I have hope that one day it will make sense.
    Thank you for your channel and the vulnerability you all allow. For the first time in 8 years I am brave face ready to work with help again and not give up right away. If at first you don't succeed... Let's just keep this energy after I click off 😁

  • @bellamyhibler
    @bellamyhibler 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    this is so truly amazing! i found out that i had DID when i was 7, except i didn’t know what it was called. when i finally told my doctor and she diagnosed me DID, my life finally started to make sense

  • @franceslarsen4037
    @franceslarsen4037 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    That part in the beginning, about the panic over being expected to change clothes - man, that really hit home, as I fell in a mud puddle around 2nd grade, and my teacher sent me into the bathroom with some kind of robe/large sheet (can't remember) where she was going to put my clothes in the dryer for me... I had been experiencing s. abuse for some time and could not verbalize it to my mother, due to shame/threats by abuser, emotional paralysis, etc) but I could not, I mean NOT move, in that I was terrified of the idea of taking off my clothes, even given the "neutral" circumstance. I just froze in there and didn't do anything. When she came back, she seemed puzzled or slightly perplexed but didn't push the issue. I wish they had more training at that time to know what kinds of things to look for, as this is a strong indicator, just as she said in the documentary.

  • @agnes8477
    @agnes8477 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This was a really good documentary! The ending when all of the alters talked was a really nice touch

  • @lucimmv
    @lucimmv 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Watching this after watching a bunch of other videos on this channel before I can only say this actors are PERFECT, they fit the boys so well.

  • @meganbaxter1452
    @meganbaxter1452 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was so wonderful! The actors portrayed the boys beautifully. I may have teared up a bit when Jess was talking about how much she appreciates the boys and how they’ve helped her. Jess and everyone, you’ve done such an amazing job helping others and helping end the stigma!

  • @cturtleGA
    @cturtleGA 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is amazing! So powerful! By the end, when we see Jamie, Jake, and Ed speaking for themselves, I was in tears. Jess, you and the boys are a HERO 💚💚💚💚

  • @greerprince4370
    @greerprince4370 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I have been fascinated with DID for a long time, and this documentary has really opened my eyes to every aspect of the disorder and how it can affect someone who lives with it. It is a very hard thing to understand and is usually seen as something made up by Hollywood, but it is a VERY thing that not enough people are aware of. Thank you Jamie, Jake, Ed, Ollie, and Jess for shining a light on something as complex and fascinating as DID.

  • @lostsoulforever18218
    @lostsoulforever18218 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This is incredibly. Your journey and their journey is so open for the world. You bringing light to this is so important. Thank you for this. If you have helped even one person that is grant but I think you are helping so many more... people with DID and the professionals who study it alike.... it's just amazing. Again thank you.

  • @just3minutes
    @just3minutes 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Absolutely fantastic. A great alternative way to showcase alters from your point of view. I think this will help a lot of people to understand DID more.

  • @lindseymacintosh3
    @lindseymacintosh3 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wow.... Jess (and crew) you are all so SOOOOO brave for sharing your story !!! This must have been such a terrifying time, my heart breaks that you or anyone should have to go through such a hard experience !!! But, on the flip side I also just wanted to say that you are amazing...so strong !!!! You're a great mum, partner and friend from what I've seen too !!! I hope you are truely truely proud of yourself lovely !!!! 😊❤👍

  • @darkfae420
    @darkfae420 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i almost cried realizing i used to feel like and resonated with everything they said about going through puberty but with a dissociative disorder... thank you from a fellow system

  • @Delicate_Disaster
    @Delicate_Disaster 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This is so strange to actually see them... its slightly unnerving. Yes, that's what they say they look like, but that's not how I see them or hear them. It's crazy to see a stranger tell the story of someone I'm familiar with. I didnt even have to look for a name to know which one was which, because they shared the same story and spoke in the same manner.

  • @calledmedarling
    @calledmedarling 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I never thought of discovering you had DID this way. this is incredibly well made and incredibly enlightening.

  • @Ahyira
    @Ahyira 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Holy crap you guys! This is so good!!! Jess, you're such an amazing story teller, and the way this was cut and told by the producers is insanely good. I loved the tone of it, the actors are so so good at portraying the guys' voices... I'm honestly in awe. This is such a good film and an important part of the discussion about mental health and DID. Congrats to all of you for being so brave and sharing your story once again and to everyone involved with the project!

  • @tylerisstillalive6446
    @tylerisstillalive6446 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I relate to her story so much , I experienced eerily similar things , the friend randomly breaking up with you, being bullied, being taunted and told that I like girls, the stuff playing in front of you , it gives me hope

  • @vallybae7827
    @vallybae7827 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hello. My name is Vally. I just wanted to let you know that, I am so, so proud of you. How did this in such a tasteful and authentic way. I am so happy for you, I'm beyond happiness. Such a wonderful way to present D.I.D. I am following you for years, I believe, and I'm s happy for your progress. Though I know it must have been hard on you. But you turned a disadvantage to something people can look up to. Thank you so much. I know this ism't much, from a stranger in the internet, but still I hope it helps. I love you and I can tell you some of the advise you have given, also work for people without D.I.D. I hope you live well and know even if we are strangers you can count on support, on our support.

  • @Thishurricanekenny
    @Thishurricanekenny ปีที่แล้ว

    This is me to a T! Everything except for any of my parts hurting me physically.
    Everything from not knowing where I am or what I was doing there, flash backs that I didn’t know what they were, lost friendships that didn’t make sense, feeling like someone was behind or beside me at times. It has helped SO much getting a diagnosis in the last year and a half! It’s helped SO much to just know WHY it’s happened my whole life. ❤️ Jess, Ollie, Ed, Jake, Jamie, love you all, I’m happy for you and how far you’ve come.

  • @emmabarnard6012
    @emmabarnard6012 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Really well made and sensitively handled. It's a testament to all your perseverance, openness and hard work that this has come out so well. Well done to you all. Oh, and R1 of course 😁

  • @nomdeplume2213
    @nomdeplume2213 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Ive always heard Jess say 5 personalities! I never knew there was 6?! Regardless, absolutely amazing as always!!!

  • @warriorsoftruthtribe3047
    @warriorsoftruthtribe3047 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you so much for this. I sat amazed and speechless as you took the words right from my own mouth. My experience is almost identical. Jess and all of your parts make up the butterfly that will ripple so many realities, helping so many of us to understand ourselves and feel so much less alone.

  • @carikern
    @carikern 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Oh I'd love for this to be longer! I had heard about this condition in the past but didn't know much about it. About a week ago I started watching a lot of videos from different channels and found it all so fascinating and educational.
    This documentary was a great way to kind of "visualize" a representation of DID for those of us who don't experience it. It would be fantastic if there was a big movie produced about DID that followed personal stories of a system (such as this documentary) instead of twisting it as they did with a movie like Split. Awesome work, everyone!

  • @amypearsall
    @amypearsall 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was amazing. To give 3-Dimensional characterization, separate physical bodies, to the alters that are in your mind and 'come out' and speak, but can never have their own body. Makes it, to someone who does not have DID, even more 'real.' How scary that must've been (for Jess). So there is 'little Jake' and 'adult Jake"?

  • @symphony_in_plaid4592
    @symphony_in_plaid4592 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    got a little teary at the end :')
    well done, everybody

  • @chroniclesofeeveewaltham9396
    @chroniclesofeeveewaltham9396 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Incredible documentary very insightful and interesting and thought provoking. The actors playing the boys were really well chosen and you handled yourself beautifully. Thank you for having the courage to stand up and show the world who you are and what an amazing personality you guys have become x

  • @faith-jw7qf
    @faith-jw7qf 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wow I didn’t know that Ed was a prosecutor alter at the start. That’s really interesting to see how much he’s developed in the system since he appeared.

  • @aaronwilder2775
    @aaronwilder2775 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was so cool to me, the way it was structured like an interview, the way Jake, Jamie, and Ed were portrayed (the actors did fantastic by the way), it was just all around so intriguing to see how the guys originally thought about this circumstance. Just thumbs up all around, props to you Jess :)

  • @LongSoulSystem
    @LongSoulSystem 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you so much for uploading and sharing this! We couldn't find a way to watch it :D (I think this is an amazing documentary and shouldn't be limited due to rights issues xD...)

  • @marq6929
    @marq6929 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That was awesome! Thank you so much Jess and thank you to all your boys (the actors too who gave them a body for all of us to see)! I can't tell you what it means to hear someone's story told so bravely. It just is so... validating and reassuring. It honestly moved me to tears in parts, and it helps me better understand my own state. All that is to say nothing of the education this will give people who otherwise no nothing, it very little, of DID. Thank you a thousand times!

  • @cvf557
    @cvf557 6 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    oooo I've been so excited for this!!! :D

  • @Draxolani
    @Draxolani 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I completely love your openness. All of you. Both myself and my alter Amos appreciate you going in front of the camera like this and showing who you are. We couldn't relate more. For myself, Amos is my biggest protector. I'm a fragile person and since Amos' reveal to me, I have become more open. In my deepest pits of depression he was the one who fought through my anxiety and got me the help I needed. I literally have 2 wardrobes worth of segregated fem and masculine clothing . Giving Amos the freedom he needs to be himself.. We are loved and thats all we need. Best of everything to you guys xo

  • @arcadia_758
    @arcadia_758 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The bit at the end where Jess' real alters were speaking almost made me cry

  • @thesunnygloom
    @thesunnygloom 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    God that ending is awesome, amazing job on all this!

  • @charlottesaffy1
    @charlottesaffy1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +116

    Is it just me that can only get 240p?

  • @Sara-ur8fv
    @Sara-ur8fv 6 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    I CLICKED SO FAST

  • @Delicate_Disaster
    @Delicate_Disaster 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I feel so sad for the alters knowing that they are real people and they're stuck where they dont want to be. I hope over the years theyll learn to love their lives and know that the people in their lives love them as Ollie, Ed, Jake, And Jamie

  • @britpoppansy
    @britpoppansy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Oh, Jess, I'm sending my love to you. You're such an unbelievably strong person.

  • @sheamagnus6826
    @sheamagnus6826 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I've been so excited to see this! It is simply wonderful and I love how everyone was portrayed in film. Thank you all so much for sharing your story.