Wow, now I know why I am different to most people! I don't envy people, and love to see them succeed. I even help them to do better than me and I feel happy. But couldn't figure out why it was usually just me feeling happy for others
@@gabrielbevan-rt5yl I have a deep inner knowing that no amounts of achievements will change who I am. I will always be content within myself. I love to see people excel as this would make my environment and the world would be a better place.
I could never understand why some people always acted like if someone else achieves something it takes away from them. It doesn’t. There is enough for everyone when you focus on self improvement instead of what other people are doing.
Brother envy doesn’t always have to be regarding money or success in business. It can be in health or relationships. When you say you don’t feel envy at all it just means you haven’t discovered the deep repressed desires you have and need to learn more, see more and experience more. As humans none of us are exempt from our nature and the ones who claim they are live in arrogance.
My mother, sisters. They are that fake friend that rushes into you, seeking your friendship while hidden agendas lurk. Comparisons, of income, love life, children, education, youth, beauty, status, etc.
This is the story of my life. People befriending me to only be envious and mean. But I cut them off real quick and now I have a keen Discernment and they hate me for rejecting their friendship. I'm glad I love being by myself and I have children who are great human beings.
Sad stuff. I’ve often felt envy from others and have dimmed my light and talents because of it. Someone recommended the book “Cinderella and her sisters: the envied and the envying” wasted too much surrounded by these types and I refuse to be boxed in anymore 🔥
Dealing with this now from two childhood friends that I’ve now half my life. It’s sad and scary when you outgrow a relationship but when people aren’t happy for your growth it’s time to disconnect.
fake friends are everywhere esp. in the professional realm, they just use you if they deem you worth knowing, for some sort of gain or usefulness to them
I can't believe it. This is happening to me in college. My roommate gets iffy with me when I score better grades or if a teacher praises me about something. She'll be like, Well, it wasn't that big of a deal. Make me feel like I'm being weird. ... Have to rethink how I interact with her.
wtf, shes not even subtle about it lmaoo im 30 and once ur this age ppl are way more careful. they will try to downplay it and just tell another story to 1up you.sometimes they do slip up tho and i catch it.
Don't share your successes with her. Don't take her with you where she can badmouth you in front of your friends. Plus, get a new room, move out while she's in class. You'll feel better, trust me.
@@williamj.dovejr.8613 thanks a lot for the advice. Moving out is kinda complicated because they assigned us dorm rooms when we started the year and my ra won't help me out. I'm trying to distance myself from her. Fingers crossed things work out.
In the end, friends matter not. It matter’s more so that you were the best friend, best person possible, regardless of everyone else’s shortcomings. It is not of importance what they do but rather who you are and what you do always. Keep your eye on the prize my friend 🙏
100% If your internal analyzer once noticed traces of inappropriate behavior, most likely problems await you in the future. Allow your new acquaintance to «sting» you a few times, to make sure you weren't mistaken, then minimize contact
Excellent interview, thank you. My mom raised me to “overlook the bad and see the good in everyone.” This ingrained mantra created a skewed perception on how much bad was acceptable. How big are the red flags? Are they helping or hindering me?
When you have a friendship with another person, it's because both of you are in the same level. The moment you improve your situation, your status, your economy, your "friend" starts to envy you. That's why when one has any kind of important success, the smart move is to stay away from "friends" who hasn't been able to improve their lives
I love love love Fake Friends who try to destroy me... I'm confident that my narc parents made me a fake friend magnet. Deep down my mother was/is very envious of me and continues to try and destroy my spirit and dreams. Now, I've worked hard on myself to self love and self care of my energy. I also grew up in a family that is serious about censorship of the truth... Exhausting! I'm a critical thinker and free thinker... and my family and community won't have that. Never question the narrative and propaganda? Its rather sad... Now, I understand that my parents were simply programmed that way and their parents and so on... Now, I have compassion for them. I have serious boundaries around my family and the community. I don't allow any disrespect, no name calling, no bulling, and no more soul crushing attacks. I do get respect these days.... Oh, I have released all my unhealthy relationships. Good video.
Not really. Everyone these days goes on and on about narcissism but statistically speaking there is very little chance that someone you know actually has narcissistic personality disorder. People is just shitty sometimes and that doesn’t mean they are sick in the head.
I went NC with my family and my god it was awesome. I've never understood why they are envious of me, I'd disabled and "useless" as they always told me. But they resent any success I have. That's envy. They are tortured when I'm happy. It's sad. But I am no longer going to sacrifice my happiness to make them happy. And they can flip out. I have no control over them, they just think I do.
I recall once there was a group of us girls. One girl asked what to wear and how to do her hair… I helped her she looked fabulous. Another girl said “you shouldn’t have made her look so good” She was serious I was surprised I never knew people felt that way. Unfortunately I’ve noted that kinda thing to often… People have told me ‘they are jealous of you’ about different people I’m like 😮💨no! 😞
5:21 - 5:43 It took me some years to notice and understand this but I hope anyone who sees this comment can know that this is a FACT of life. People closest to you won't be your biggest supporters/cheerleaders either on your way to your goals or when you actually achieve said goals. It's too close for comfort for a lot of them to feel the sense of admiration for you that a stranger will give to you.
I'm so happy you wrote 48 laws of power, because I could finally see how I was being used 😄 which sounds tragic. Although, I'm not successful as in celebrity. I noticed a lot of ugliness when later in life I managed to get a University degree. None of my immediate family congratulated me. My brother's response was to compare my result to my sister's Uni achievement, which she completed straight from school. Roberts book was an education for my naive outlook on life 😂 which can keep people stuck in a heavy rut. 💐
Past a certain age you just can't have new real friends. Good acquaintances yes, true friends not. Even if they're good and well meaning people, everyone has other more important interests and obligations (mouths to feed etc.) than being with you. They may be able to spin multiple plates but there will be times they just can't be with you when you need them most.
@aculx2639 It's more difficult with each aging year. By what he wrote, his comment seems to be pertaining to that major shift that happens in adulthood once people start marrying and having children. If you're single and/or without children, and therefore not in that chunk of people, you do lose a lot of those old friends - or at least the friendship falls way back in importance to those past friends. Not all old friends are great, but there is a bond that does seem to be harder to recreate with new friends. I'm not sure why, but I see his point. It's definitely happened to me also.
during my freshman year of college, i was so excited to meet new friends. I made sooo many people as my friends in my sorority and so many memories. Eventually, my sophomore year i got a boyfriend and into the nursing program in which i had been working really hard for. I thought my friends would’ve been proud of me, however, now it feels like i only have one solid friend that stuck by. it makes me very sad. :(
For me, the worst kind of envy is from someone you look up to. He envies Ryan Holiday; and for all we know, Ryan probably looks up to him. In my experience, university lecturers envied me (I was in an ARTS school). Here I was, trying to gain the respect of my mentors; and they resented my enthusiasm, my diligence when it comes to my studies, and creativity. I am no artistic genius, thats why I'm school. But to give me 35% for school projects, when the guest lecturer was singing praises about my nascent talent in your presence, for literally the same piece of work. Being on the receiving end of that traumatized me.
@mthunzidhlamini8257 I have decided to drop a very important mentor, who I met at the age of 27. I am 35 now. He is in his mid to late 60's. I happen to be a woman and he a man. About three or four months ago, he started to say that men and women can never be friends. He would say this over and over...and I was like then what does that make us? When I mentioned my upcoming projects he would make very sly comments all in the guise of love and support...
The comment I was looking for. It affects different folks in different ways and levels. And contrary to popular "wisdom" it can be shut down almost completely, at least for this guy.
Thinking you're somehow so special that you don't feel envy, get out of here LOL. Not only do you feel envy, I'm guessing denial is somewhere in there too.
This is what scares me about success. Even in back in school. You’re “supposed” to follow the rules and do a good job, but you’ll be punished socially for reaching your full potential.
Back in college I had an extremely critical and cold design teacher. She was a royal you-know-what the whole semester ... until the last day of class. I turned in an abstract painting sure I'd get a B for the class. She gave me a 3.7, an A-. Some time later I visited the campus and stopped by to see her. She saw me at the door, stopped the lecture and introduced me to her class as "one of her brightest students". I got teary eyed and after everyone left she said she was hard on me to show what the real world is like. Clients and even my loved ones will NOT kiss my ass no matter how great my work is. They'll only come around once I succeed so work hard and never look back. After working corporate jobs I realized my ultimate dream of being a professional artist. I will never forget Mrs. Wakefield 💜
With all due respect... Which is considerable but I do beg to differ on a very significant point, Mr Greene. You asserted at 1:03 that we all feel envy. It might seem universal with power over us that we cannot control but I can assure you that this simply is not the case, at least not with this individual. I recently ordered another book on the subject and while there is a consensus that we are mostly powerless over it I can and will assert that this sure isn't the case, at least for this typical individual. I have my copy of the classic work by Helmut Schoeck, well populated with notes and criticisms like most of my books. And I differ sharply with him in that I have found it at least personally something that can be controlled quite well with sufficient diligence. This by simply taking over your thought process from it's automated process of drifting down all the dark allleys as I once permitted it and switching to manual control and shutting down the comparison game. And guess what? I at least found it to be not all that difficult after I mastered the rather simple cognitive behavioral technique that has been widely and effectively used for decades. This I did in the early 1990s so I don't think it's a temporary fix either. Be glad to discuss this further, Ken S.
I hope people would not assume that this is the sole truth to define what a fake friend is. i think this could be somewhat a way to describe some type of people but absolutely not all or even majority. i agree that envy is such a human thing. it will always occur at some phase/s of our lives. but being a genuine friend who's genuinely happily and clapping for the success of their friends can also exist. we can be 'A friend' to someone without liking them nor the things they get to achieve tangible or not because we are allowed to have morale and decency!
I finally cut off all of my fake friends, relatives and lovers. They thought that friendship/relationship was something you receive not give. Sure they would love for me to come by because it fed their ego but it could never be about them coming to me, considering me in a crisis, helping me in response to the time and attention I gave them in their crisis. And usually a critical, superior attitude went along with it. That’s 99% of the “friends” I’ve had. I could go to the moon, have dinner with the President and save a small village of children and they would devote 60 seconds to discussing it then go back to their non-stop relentless hours of droning on about their lives. Nooo thanks.
Jesus explains why the people closest to you don’t appreciate your talents. He says a prophet is not accepted in his own home or in his own village. I often feel I am appreciated way more when I am traveling. Even just to a neighbouring province. People think they know us and think we have nothing to offer of value because of jealousy. the crab in the bucket.
I remember being told that friends will come and go; family are the only people you can trust. That too was a lie. Truth is I only need my wife and kids. They're the only people I will fight to have in my life. Everyone else? Eh
So years ago I told to my friend that I want to move to New Zealand for a year and his bf went off like: "See? We keep struggling here in our country, while she plans on going to *PAUSE* NEW ZEALAND!" I just smiled. Well, my plan failed cause I had a major burn out, got unemployed and needed my savings during the recovery. Now, many years later, I am best friends with my friends bf cause he struggles with alcoholism and I am the one not judging him, I am just around, will spend time with those guys. I guess, that helped my friend's bf change his traits a bit, he won't be that jealous anymore. All I want to say that a deeper connection to people might help overcome their jealousy or envy. It's a childish reaction actually.
When you decide everyone who complimets you and nice to you is your friend it is questionable too, indeed. Sometimes when ppl unstuck their tongues from your bottomhole can make you fly higher than would want.
Actually, I strongly disagree about what he says about people rushing into friendship being necessarily problematic. I have ADHD and I am a person who is naturally enthusiastic and will come across "strong" like that. I am not envious or a backstabber. Quite the opposite, I tend to encourage and support other's endeavors a lot and am happy for their success. I find that people who give you "mixed" signals - a snarky or dishonest remark - and then suddenly seem "so nice" are the ones with ulterior motives, either to use or abuse you.
I stg being completely honest , I don’t even feel dat shit da first thing I always feel is inspiration and motivation to level up in my own way that’s why I’m here to try to understand dis shit cuz I know a lot of ppl that feel like dis n I jus don’t get it.
I pray I have friends who celebrate my success and all the blessings in my life. The ones I have had all love to be around when things are rough but become weird and aloof when the y can see I’m thriving. Why is that ? I’m going to keep thriving anyway ❤
My mom was a hairdresser so let's just say I had some unique hairstyles which got me attention in middle school and not the good kind. Day one and two I was being bullied, by the end of the week three girls had my hairstyle. For every person talking smack, there was someone else copying you. I started to see the balance between jealousy, envy and flattery. Fast forward to high school where a girl started teasing me with more enthusiasm than most. So I asked her if she actually hated my haircut or if she was just being a jealous b**** cuz she didn't have the confidence to wear it herself? Her jaw hit the floor but 2 seconds later she basically admitted that yeah, maybe she was jealous. I told her she shouldn't be, it wouldn't suit her face anyway. To which she responded that she didn't like the haircut she was jealous of the confidence. Damn, she got me!!! She was mouthy and quick, I liked her LOL We had a stare down and that was it. A week later she came up to me in the hallway and asked me if I wanted to go to a party and that was the start of a beautiful friendship. She was prettier than me, drove a mustang convertible and would bring me flowers on my birthday at work. When she loved you, she loved you!!! There's times when I envied her, and I told her. It doesn't have to be this horrible thing that destroys a friendship, if you learn to communicate it. Because we did, and we used it to give each other more confidence not to tear each other down. But I don't have this dynamic with everyone. Because they don't know when to accept that they're being nasty. I'm trying to become a better person.... TRYING is all I can do.
I dont think rushing to get a date in the calendar to meet again, is that much of a frenenemy red flag - often it comes from being spontaneous. Seeing if you or them follow thru on this meeting and the actual meeting is the best criteria to judge. I appreciate such spontaneity if I have moved somewhere new or am visiting place for limited time
Spontaneity is a great trait. What was brought up was cool headed Hindsight looking at "seeming spontaneity". Experience is key to discernment. And frenemies are NOT half as damaging as Narcissists who actively work on (fast track) their targeted ones via special attention or love-bombing to seal a connection. False spontaneity it is. Beware. They are after something you have.
@@sarahyip2825 So true.. but also I experienced one person in particular that was probably very lonely, in a midlife Crisis, and was eagre to "live." They were literally wanting to spread love to everyone but it was so overwhelming, like she needed validation or something. She meant no harm at all and just badly wanted friends i think.
I startred a blog and POD shop. Non of my family or friends left me nice comment on the blog or ordered something from my shop. Not even 10 dollar thing. Nothing. I didn't understood right away what is happening. But then I did. I have changed, did something, created something and they didn't. They can't feel happy for me. I am not engry about them any more, i just do my thing without sharing it with them.
yes she was very excited to be my friend and pushy about it. told me i was incredible etc. then she slowly started copying everything i did….. dyed her hair my color. rearranged her room to look like mine. bought the same shoes as me. and even took on my lingo. once she copied me entirely she stopped texting
All you need to know about people is if they turned their back on Jesus Christ, then they will turn their back on you. And Cain was so covetous that he impulsively murdered his brother Abel out of spite.
But what if his friends just genuinely don’t like his work? Are you obliged to always approve of everything your friend does? Honestly, he doesn’t seem like a very likeable person and I wouldn’t be thrilled either if my friend wrote a book about how to manipulate people. Obviously as a friend you can’t help wondering if you‘ve been manipulated at some point too. Actually, maybe he is the fake friend.
I actually did really want to save the world (my corner of it). So some stabs in the back can be endured. But now I wonder the world really wants. I guess it is just angels and demons; now.
I don’t agree. This is like putting someone in the narcissistic box most people are inherently good and want to see you doing well if your doing well and they haven’t it might trigger them it’s reminding them that they didn’t go down that path and have that success the negative thoughts and actions towards might come after that if they don’t recognise that and process it but it always comes back to it being about them and they haven’t met their own needs
Once you start surrounding yourself with winners & visionaries, your mindset will change and you'll start to have faith in the dreams God/Yeshua/Buddha/Allah/Krishna/The Great Spirit gave you, and they will actually come to pass. The more your circle decreases, the more your peace increases. You're always "acting funny", when you don’t do what they want you to do. You can't take everyone on YOUR journey: it's not your responsibility. Friends and family are the people who resist your personal development the most. Misery loves company. Be modest on broadcasting your victories successes, because it fosters animosity and jealousy among some family and friends. Eat well, dress impeccably at all times, exercise, and always greet people with a warm smile. Nothing beats the power of a positive attitude.
I was surrounded by a lot of these people for a long time... it's not that they want it..they do...they want you not to have it.
Yessssss
Wow, now I know why I am different to most people! I don't envy people, and love to see them succeed. I even help them to do better than me and I feel happy. But couldn't figure out why it was usually just me feeling happy for others
@@gabrielbevan-rt5yl I have a deep inner knowing that no amounts of achievements will change who I am. I will always be content within myself. I love to see people excel as this would make my environment and the world would be a better place.
This is because you're a good person. I'm right there with you and it actually can feel pretty lonely.
I feel the same way. I truly don't envy others. I'm happy for other people's successes
I could never understand why some people always acted like if someone else achieves something it takes away from them. It doesn’t. There is enough for everyone when you focus on self improvement instead of what other people are doing.
Brother envy doesn’t always have to be regarding money or success in business. It can be in health or relationships.
When you say you don’t feel envy at all it just means you haven’t discovered the deep repressed desires you have and need to learn more, see more and experience more.
As humans none of us are exempt from our nature and the ones who claim they are live in arrogance.
Even family members.
My mother, sisters. They are that fake friend that rushes into you, seeking your friendship while hidden agendas lurk. Comparisons, of income, love life, children, education, youth, beauty, status, etc.
Swear…
On god
Especially so.
Especially if you are the only person who has been able to achieve things
This is the story of my life. People befriending me to only be envious and mean. But I cut them off real quick and now I have a keen Discernment and they hate me for rejecting their friendship.
I'm glad I love being by myself and I have children who are great human beings.
To pretty for life
Perfect response. Keep on,
Keeping on. 🙏
👍
Sad stuff. I’ve often felt envy from others and have dimmed my light and talents because of it. Someone recommended the book “Cinderella and her sisters: the envied and the envying” wasted too much surrounded by these types and I refuse to be boxed in anymore 🔥
Dealing with this now from two childhood friends that I’ve now half my life. It’s sad and scary when you outgrow a relationship but when people aren’t happy for your growth it’s time to disconnect.
I love this man for his honesty.
Yes, how many admit to their envy?
@@bhatkat Well, not a lot I guess.
fake friends are everywhere esp. in the professional realm, they just use you if they deem you worth knowing, for some sort of gain or usefulness to them
I can't believe it.
This is happening to me in college.
My roommate gets iffy with me when I score better grades or if a teacher praises me about something.
She'll be like, Well, it wasn't that big of a deal.
Make me feel like I'm being weird.
...
Have to rethink how I interact with her.
Just have to take your wins in silence. Not everyone will be cheering for your success but will have to acknowledge it when it does happen.
wtf, shes not even subtle about it lmaoo
im 30 and once ur this age ppl are way more careful. they will try to downplay it and just tell another story to 1up you.sometimes they do slip up tho and i catch it.
Don't share your successes with her.
Don't take her with you where she can badmouth you in front of your friends.
Plus, get a new room, move out while she's in class.
You'll feel better, trust me.
@@williamj.dovejr.8613 thanks a lot for the advice.
Moving out is kinda complicated because they assigned us dorm rooms when we started the year and my ra won't help me out. I'm trying to distance myself from her. Fingers crossed things work out.
@@mikeyg1776You're right.
It's just that... When we started out, she was nicer.
Hadn't experienced anything like this before.
I call them, haters on the low
Picking that one up.
Thank you. 🍀
In the end, it doesn't matter if you have plenty of fake friends. What matters is that you have real ones, even if they’re just a few.
In the end, friends matter not. It matter’s more so that you were the best friend, best person possible, regardless of everyone else’s shortcomings. It is not of importance what they do but rather who you are and what you do always. Keep your eye on the prize my friend 🙏
And what if you literally have none?
Fake friends cause harm
Friends that feel inadequate most likely are!
Save your energy, get new friends on your path away from these creatures lol
100% If your internal analyzer once noticed traces of inappropriate behavior, most likely problems await you in the future. Allow your new acquaintance to «sting» you a few times, to make sure you weren't mistaken, then minimize contact
@@Benito-m8gwhat
I was surrounded by friendamies. I didn't realize it until it was too late. lessons learned. Now, no one is going to have access to me.
Excellent interview, thank you.
My mom raised me to “overlook the bad and see the good in everyone.”
This ingrained mantra created a skewed perception on how much bad was acceptable.
How big are the red flags? Are they helping or hindering me?
When you have a friendship with another person, it's because both of you are in the same level.
The moment you improve your situation, your status, your economy, your "friend" starts to envy you.
That's why when one has any kind of important success, the smart move is to stay away from "friends" who hasn't been able to improve their lives
Real love wants your family and friends to do well and be happy in life.
I love love love Fake Friends who try to destroy me... I'm confident that my narc parents made me a fake friend magnet. Deep down my mother was/is very envious of me and continues to try and destroy my spirit and dreams. Now, I've worked hard on myself to self love and self care of my energy. I also grew up in a family that is serious about censorship of the truth... Exhausting! I'm a critical thinker and free thinker... and my family and community won't have that. Never question the narrative and propaganda? Its rather sad...
Now, I understand that my parents were simply programmed that way and their parents and so on... Now, I have compassion for them. I have serious boundaries around my family and the community. I don't allow any disrespect, no name calling, no bulling, and no more soul crushing attacks. I do get respect these days.... Oh, I have released all my unhealthy relationships. Good video.
💯💯💯💯
Same girl, same.
Bravo to us!! We're winning! 🎉❤
Got rid of my last "frenemy" this year. I just won't have them in my life anymore
AKA: Narcissists
Not really. Everyone these days goes on and on about narcissism but statistically speaking there is very little chance that someone you know actually has narcissistic personality disorder. People is just shitty sometimes and that doesn’t mean they are sick in the head.
How To AVOID FAKE Friends:
1. Being ugly
2. Empty bank account
Love it
Not true. I’m mid and broke and can’t get rid of friends. They just want attention I thibk and someone to listen to their bs
@@biggiesmalls3096I think you’re the fake friend lol
If you are struggling, they enjoy watching your suffering.
You'll be surprised... also you also need to be:
3. stupid
4. unlucky
I went NC with my family and my god it was awesome. I've never understood why they are envious of me, I'd disabled and "useless" as they always told me. But they resent any success I have. That's envy. They are tortured when I'm happy. It's sad. But I am no longer going to sacrifice my happiness to make them happy. And they can flip out. I have no control over them, they just think I do.
Covert Narcissist or Malignant Narcissist is the term
Fake is not only friends.. but what we see, what we eat, what we smell.. but what we feel maybe is the only true.. thanks for this episode!
Eyes opened wide. Thank you
I recall once there was a group of us girls. One girl asked what to wear and how to do her hair… I helped her she looked fabulous.
Another girl said “you shouldn’t have made her look so good”
She was serious I was surprised I never knew people felt that way.
Unfortunately I’ve noted that kinda thing to often…
People have told me ‘they are jealous of you’ about different people I’m like 😮💨no! 😞
He explains this so well
5:21 - 5:43 It took me some years to notice and understand this but I hope anyone who sees this comment can know that this is a FACT of life. People closest to you won't be your biggest supporters/cheerleaders either on your way to your goals or when you actually achieve said goals. It's too close for comfort for a lot of them to feel the sense of admiration for you that a stranger will give to you.
Yeah he’s right. They got a pinched look on their face instead of being happy for you
Your podcast is a blessing.
Thank you for your work. ❤
I'm so happy you wrote 48 laws of power, because I could finally see how I was being used 😄 which sounds tragic. Although, I'm not successful as in celebrity. I noticed a lot of ugliness when later in life I managed to get a University degree. None of my immediate family congratulated me. My brother's response was to compare my result to my sister's Uni achievement, which she completed straight from school. Roberts book was an education for my naive outlook on life 😂 which can keep people stuck in a heavy rut. 💐
I can never get tired watching the Robert Greene interview.❤😊 there is so much to learn from this video. Thank you n God bless you 🤗🤗🤗♥️✌️🕊️🕺💃🕺💃🕺💃😎👍
Past a certain age you just can't have new real friends. Good acquaintances yes, true friends not. Even if they're good and well meaning people, everyone has other more important interests and obligations (mouths to feed etc.) than being with you. They may be able to spin multiple plates but there will be times they just can't be with you when you need them most.
Atleast tell us that you were busy, it hurts a lot when someone does not be there at your lowest when you have been there for them every time.
@@dhirajkumargupta4151 Don't wait for it.
what age is that?
@aculx2639 It's more difficult with each aging year. By what he wrote, his comment seems to be pertaining to that major shift that happens in adulthood once people start marrying and having children. If you're single and/or without children, and therefore not in that chunk of people, you do lose a lot of those old friends - or at least the friendship falls way back in importance to those past friends.
Not all old friends are great, but there is a bond that does seem to be harder to recreate with new friends. I'm not sure why, but I see his point. It's definitely happened to me also.
@@aculx2639for me, it happened when I got ready to go for the job market. It was by the end of my second year of postdoctoral work, age 31…
You are a💎 gem Robert Grenne
Thanks Mr green for your work and Mr CEO for your work
You dont need to avoid anyone.. Discernent is everything!
So what to do?
during my freshman year of college, i was so excited to meet new friends. I made sooo many people as my friends in my sorority and so many memories. Eventually, my sophomore year i got a boyfriend and into the nursing program in which i had been working really hard for. I thought my friends would’ve been proud of me, however, now it feels like i only have one solid friend that stuck by. it makes me very sad. :(
I glad a found Robert Greene in you tube, i will by your books for sure, love everything you say ❤️ you are a lovely men
For me, the worst kind of envy is from someone you look up to. He envies Ryan Holiday; and for all we know, Ryan probably looks up to him.
In my experience, university lecturers envied me (I was in an ARTS school). Here I was, trying to gain the respect of my mentors; and they resented my enthusiasm, my diligence when it comes to my studies, and creativity. I am no artistic genius, thats why I'm school. But to give me 35% for school projects, when the guest lecturer was singing praises about my nascent talent in your presence, for literally the same piece of work. Being on the receiving end of that traumatized me.
I understand. I had a mentor like this. I was so confused by their actions or non-action until I realized they were envious of my potential
Those that cannot do, teach. Damian Hirst failed his art exams.
@mthunzidhlamini8257 I have decided to drop a very important mentor, who I met at the age of 27. I am 35 now. He is in his mid to late 60's. I happen to be a woman and he a man. About three or four months ago, he started to say that men and women can never be friends. He would say this over and over...and I was like then what does that make us? When I mentioned my upcoming projects he would make very sly comments all in the guise of love and support...
@@rasheedahsilvertree - and the problem is ? He has sexual desires like every man.
Not everyone feels envy
The comment I was looking for. It affects different folks in different ways and levels. And contrary to popular "wisdom" it can be shut down almost completely, at least for this guy.
There are different degrees of it. That's just commonsense.
Yes tf they do. It is a human experience. You may not act on it but you feel it. Stop lying to yourself
Thinking you're somehow so special that you don't feel envy, get out of here LOL. Not only do you feel envy, I'm guessing denial is somewhere in there too.
Agree 💯
I don't envy people because I'm happy with my life. If someone has more than I do I try to learn from them. Envy is a waste of time.
I just had this experience and now have a label for the situation or relationship. Thanks
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This is what scares me about success. Even in back in school. You’re “supposed” to follow the rules and do a good job, but you’ll be punished socially for reaching your full potential.
Back in college I had an extremely critical and cold design teacher. She was a royal you-know-what the whole semester ... until the last day of class. I turned in an abstract painting sure I'd get a B for the class. She gave me a 3.7, an A-. Some time later I visited the campus and stopped by to see her.
She saw me at the door, stopped the lecture and introduced me to her class as "one of her brightest students". I got teary eyed and after everyone left she said she was hard on me to show what the real world is like. Clients and even my loved ones will NOT kiss my ass no matter how great my work is. They'll only come around once I succeed so work hard and never look back. After working corporate jobs I realized my ultimate dream of being a professional artist. I will never forget Mrs. Wakefield 💜
People are overrated a lifelong friendship could be terminated in a second just keep on trucking.
With all due respect...
Which is considerable but I do beg to differ on a very significant point, Mr Greene. You asserted at 1:03 that we all feel envy. It might seem universal with power over us that we cannot control but I can assure you that this simply is not the case, at least not with this individual. I recently ordered another book on the subject and while there is a consensus that we are mostly powerless over it I can and will assert that this sure isn't the case, at least for this typical individual. I have my copy of the classic work by Helmut Schoeck, well populated with notes and criticisms like most of my books. And I differ sharply with him in that I have found it at least personally something that can be controlled quite well with sufficient diligence. This by simply taking over your thought process from it's automated process of drifting down all the dark allleys as I once permitted it and switching to manual control and shutting down the comparison game. And guess what? I at least found it to be not all that difficult after I mastered the rather simple cognitive behavioral technique that has been widely and effectively used for decades. This I did in the early 1990s so I don't think it's a temporary fix either. Be glad to discuss this further, Ken S.
I hope people would not assume that this is the sole truth to define what a fake friend is. i think this could be somewhat a way to describe some type of people but absolutely not all or even majority. i agree that envy is such a human thing. it will always occur at some phase/s of our lives. but being a genuine friend who's genuinely happily and clapping for the success of their friends can also exist. we can be 'A friend' to someone without liking them nor the things they get to achieve tangible or not because we are allowed to have morale and decency!
Fascinating study of human nature
I finally cut off all of my fake friends, relatives and lovers. They thought that friendship/relationship was something you receive not give. Sure they would love for me to come by because it fed their ego but it could never be about them coming to me, considering me in a crisis, helping me in response to the time and attention I gave them in their crisis. And usually a critical, superior attitude went along with it. That’s 99% of the “friends” I’ve had. I could go to the moon, have dinner with the President and save a small village of children and they would devote 60 seconds to discussing it then go back to their non-stop relentless hours of droning on about their lives. Nooo thanks.
Loved this. Thank you. ❤
Jesus explains why the people closest to you don’t appreciate your talents. He says a prophet is not accepted in his own home or in his own village. I often feel I am appreciated way more when I am traveling. Even just to a neighbouring province. People think they know us and think we have nothing to offer of value because of jealousy. the crab in the bucket.
I remember being told that friends will come and go; family are the only people you can trust. That too was a lie. Truth is I only need my wife and kids. They're the only people I will fight to have in my life. Everyone else? Eh
So years ago I told to my friend that I want to move to New Zealand for a year and his bf went off like: "See? We keep struggling here in our country, while she plans on going to *PAUSE* NEW ZEALAND!"
I just smiled. Well, my plan failed cause I had a major burn out, got unemployed and needed my savings during the recovery. Now, many years later, I am best friends with my friends bf cause he struggles with alcoholism and I am the one not judging him, I am just around, will spend time with those guys. I guess, that helped my friend's bf change his traits a bit, he won't be that jealous anymore. All I want to say that a deeper connection to people might help overcome their jealousy or envy. It's a childish reaction actually.
Robert is a genius! There’s no such thing as friends. #period 42 year old TAJ
When you decide everyone who complimets you and nice to you is your friend it is questionable too, indeed. Sometimes when ppl unstuck their tongues from your bottomhole can make you fly higher than would want.
😂
Actually, I strongly disagree about what he says about people rushing into friendship being necessarily problematic. I have ADHD and I am a person who is naturally enthusiastic and will come across "strong" like that. I am not envious or a backstabber. Quite the opposite, I tend to encourage and support other's endeavors a lot and am happy for their success. I find that people who give you "mixed" signals - a snarky or dishonest remark - and then suddenly seem "so nice" are the ones with ulterior motives, either to use or abuse you.
I stg being completely honest , I don’t even feel dat shit da first thing I always feel is inspiration and motivation to level up in my own way that’s why I’m here to try to understand dis shit cuz I know a lot of ppl that feel like dis n I jus don’t get it.
Fake friendly neighbors are the worst
No, we're not all envious !!
Since we're all different beings - we want different things, no need to wish for something another person has :-)
They set you up to feel sorry for them & help them in their endeavours but woe betide you if you ask for even a modicum of help in return
The shittiest part is the time spent in envy could be spent working towards your goals. It distracts from the higher qualities of a person.
I needed this lol had to cut ppl off
I pray I have friends who celebrate my success and all the blessings in my life. The ones I have had all love to be around when things are rough but become weird and aloof when the y can see I’m thriving. Why is that ? I’m going to keep thriving anyway ❤
You interviewers are some ballz yo no joke
It would never even occur to me to be envious of my friends…people are fucking weird.
My mom was a hairdresser so let's just say I had some unique hairstyles which got me attention in middle school and not the good kind. Day one and two I was being bullied, by the end of the week three girls had my hairstyle. For every person talking smack, there was someone else copying you. I started to see the balance between jealousy, envy and flattery. Fast forward to high school where a girl started teasing me with more enthusiasm than most. So I asked her if she actually hated my haircut or if she was just being a jealous b**** cuz she didn't have the confidence to wear it herself? Her jaw hit the floor but 2 seconds later she basically admitted that yeah, maybe she was jealous. I told her she shouldn't be, it wouldn't suit her face anyway. To which she responded that she didn't like the haircut she was jealous of the confidence. Damn, she got me!!! She was mouthy and quick, I liked her LOL We had a stare down and that was it. A week later she came up to me in the hallway and asked me if I wanted to go to a party and that was the start of a beautiful friendship. She was prettier than me, drove a mustang convertible and would bring me flowers on my birthday at work. When she loved you, she loved you!!! There's times when I envied her, and I told her. It doesn't have to be this horrible thing that destroys a friendship, if you learn to communicate it. Because we did, and we used it to give each other more confidence not to tear each other down. But I don't have this dynamic with everyone. Because they don't know when to accept that they're being nasty. I'm trying to become a better person.... TRYING is all I can do.
I dont think rushing to get a date in the calendar to meet again, is that much of a frenenemy red flag - often it comes from being spontaneous. Seeing if you or them follow thru on this meeting and the actual meeting is the best criteria to judge. I appreciate such spontaneity if I have moved somewhere new or am visiting place for limited time
Spontaneity is a great trait. What was brought up was cool headed Hindsight looking at "seeming spontaneity". Experience is key to discernment. And frenemies are NOT half as damaging as Narcissists who actively work on (fast track) their targeted ones via special attention or love-bombing to seal a connection. False spontaneity it is. Beware. They are after something you have.
@@sarahyip2825 So true.. but also I experienced one person in particular that was probably very lonely, in a midlife Crisis, and was eagre to "live." They were literally wanting to spread love to everyone but it was so overwhelming, like she needed validation or something. She meant no harm at all and just badly wanted friends i think.
I had Many fake friends in school and college 😭
I startred a blog and POD shop. Non of my family or friends left me nice comment on the blog or ordered something from my shop. Not even 10 dollar thing. Nothing. I didn't understood right away what is happening. But then I did. I have changed, did something, created something and they didn't. They can't feel happy for me. I am not engry about them any more, i just do my thing without sharing it with them.
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Thanks tips how to be a better fake friend🎉
I only have friends in my life. I know this as I tested the snake to see if it bites.
I shed 5 this year. Id rather have my peace..
yes she was very excited to be my friend and pushy about it. told me i was incredible etc. then she slowly started copying everything i did….. dyed her hair my color. rearranged her room to look like mine. bought the same shoes as me. and even took on my lingo. once she copied me entirely she stopped texting
Yea. I don't know about him
All you need to know about people is if they turned their back on Jesus Christ, then they will turn their back on you. And Cain was so covetous that he impulsively murdered his brother Abel out of spite.
F*ck friends. You don't need friends... you need money, and a small amount of power.
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"Chimpanzees feel envy,,,,,,, ..... . It's a completely human emotion." 😅😅😅
The Green Eyed Monster 💡
What are the terms Robert gave at 4:10 Shan freud? I tried to google them but couldn't find anything? Can somebody please tell me, Thanks.
Schadenfreude (pleasure derived from observing another person's misfortune) and Mitfreude (pleasure derived from observing someone else's fortune).
@@aluciana Thank you very much!
It is German words.
But what if his friends just genuinely don’t like his work? Are you obliged to always approve of everything your friend does? Honestly, he doesn’t seem like a very likeable person and I wouldn’t be thrilled either if my friend wrote a book about how to manipulate people. Obviously as a friend you can’t help wondering if you‘ve been manipulated at some point too. Actually, maybe he is the fake friend.
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Spain is the most envious society in the world
I’ve felt envious over a woman once or twice but never material. If a dude has a nice car or house I might go “hey dude nice car/house”
that's life, that's human traits, regardless of races, ages, genders, countries, background. Know human nature.
I find it exhausting to have friends.😅
Same
Interesting
I was going to buy the book but he can’t even go one day without drinking
Took me a long time to realize that my (ex)husband didn’t love me. He wanted to BE me, which was such a weird and awful experience.
Envy is a declaration of an inferiority complex
Avoid all friends. The only way. haha.
Job 12:4?!. When you tell me that you love me?!. Divine question or song. Psalms 144:9. Hebreo 4:12.
I’ve felt like this before but the older I get I’m kind of just chilling and don’t care
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Hmm interesting
Help me find a few good friends worth a trillion❤❤🎉
Hit subscribe.
Don't know why I hadn't already.
❤
They're not friends, but very much your enemies. 💯💩💩
I actually did really want to save the world (my corner of it). So some stabs in the back can be endured. But now I wonder the world really wants. I guess it is just angels and demons; now.
I don’t agree. This is like putting someone in the narcissistic box most people are inherently good and want to see you doing well if your doing well and they haven’t it might trigger them it’s reminding them that they didn’t go down that path and have that success the negative thoughts and actions towards might come after that if they don’t recognise that and process it but it always comes back to it being about them and they haven’t met their own needs
Was Robert just pushing Ryan Holiday books? There relationship is spooky.
🌹³♧
📌 ENVIOUS PEOPLE PLAY HEARTS ❤ CARDS. & THEY ARE BORING.
📌 SMART PEOPLE PLAY CLUBS ♣︎
📌 PSYCHOPATHS PLAY SPADES ♠︎
📌 BANKS PLAY DIAMONDS ◆
He'll Noooo!
We don’t all envy. Some of us were taught not to covet. Its in the Bible🥴We give ANYBODY a platform now😮💨
Once you start surrounding yourself with winners & visionaries, your mindset will change and you'll start to have faith in the dreams God/Yeshua/Buddha/Allah/Krishna/The Great Spirit gave you, and they will actually come to pass.
The more your circle decreases, the more your peace increases. You're always "acting funny", when you don’t do what they want you to do. You can't take everyone on YOUR journey: it's not your responsibility.
Friends and family are the people who resist your personal development the most. Misery loves company. Be modest on broadcasting your victories successes, because it fosters animosity and jealousy among some family and friends.
Eat well, dress impeccably at all times, exercise, and always greet people with a warm smile. Nothing beats the power of a positive attitude.
He’s literally a fake person. He abandoned his youth completely
I am so glad I don't have an envious nature. Greene you should know better than making statements that are absolutes e.g. everyone, always, never etc.
Don't be friendly. Lol. Go read a book. It's better that way.