Unfortunately, for those with ADD/ADHD, we don’t really have the initial energy to focus on anything that doesn’t stimulate us. So, when we try to focus on homework, on a book that’s hit a wall, story wise, or when doing something mundane, ADD/ADHD brains can’t get much done without some kind of stimulant (prescribed meds, caffeine, sugars, etc)
The difficult part is training your brain to recognise those thoughts and the emotions that arise to be able to stop yourself from entering the vortex and doing the power move instead.
@@dmrfnk Thats where mindfulness helps. Besides your mind noticing that you start to ruminate, understanding how you feel and whats your energy level is very important, and seems to be a massive weak point in a lot of people with ADHD. Including myself, but working on that stuff makes a huge difference.
"so we torture ourselves because it's stimulating" oh my goddddd i just had the biggest lightbulb moment about why whenever i'm just trying to chill out my brain gremlins have to start shouting at me about what a wretched failure i am. it's stimulating!! ahhh!!!!!
When things weren't going the way I wanted in my life I don't think I was fully on self-destructive but I would definitely start trying to figure out how to make a crisis situation because I was really good in crisis situations. But then you're living in a constant fire drill.
it's also similarly why people go back to abusive partners, or won't get out of abusive relationships. abuse is stimulation. stress is stimulation. and the period of calm in between the abuse is a point of relief that is addicting.
This is life changing. I’m an artist and I’ve always told people when I paint or turn on some good music it’s like a part of my brain “shuts off”. Rumination is my biggest obstacle. And learning to cope with it is a STRUGGLE. Thank you so much.
Fellow artist/musician here. Totally get that. Knowing whats going on in my brain helps so much. I recently heard someone (maybe this channel?) advise to personify and externalize negative self talk, actually give it a name, (i.e. Fred, Vicky, etc) and tell them sternly to shut up. "Shut up, Vicky!). I thought that was hilarious, but I also think it might work if I remember to do it. Hope it helps and I hope your life gets better. Peace.❤
@@ht7csif you've ever seen the Pixar movie "Luca" his personification of self doubt etc is "Bruno" lol. I think he enthusiastically says "Ciao Bruno!" 😂
Sometimes it's not as simple as, "distract yourself from it". Those demons can become heavily ingrained due to trauma. Sometimes "distracting yourself" turns into doom scrolling, gaming addiction, or worse. Obviously choosing healthy things to distract from those thoughts is ideal. But taking steps to heal those trauma wounds can help reduce the volume of those voices.
Yeah very important point. I remember I was watching an anime (Naruto Shippuden) that had a really symbolic scene where Naruto had to confront his inner dark self (his demon essentially), which was just his build up trauma, anger, and resentment. His approach was to confront his inner demon head on and show nothing but love and compassion. Not saying that this will play out as easy, but I do believe Love is a better answer to dealing with inner demons than distracting yourself. It will just keep coming back because of neglect. It’s hard and scary facing the demon, but it’s harder to stray away from it.
You're right, but also I don't think "distract yourself out of rumination and into action" is advice about what you're talking about, which I would describe as "dissociating as a trauma response." It's moving deeper into paralysis, not out of it. BUT the most important point is that you are 110% correct that this pattern will make things worse, and gets addictive. And I have accidentally done it while thinking that I was using healthy "distraction" techniques. You're correct that trauma therapy, dealing with the suppressed emotions, and growing past maladaptive coping methods is the only real way to deal with it.
Does anyone else ever feel like they *could* starve the rumination demon with some of the ADHD-friendly coping skills mentioned here (listening to loud music, writing, etc.) but they've also got a strong depression part that says, "That's dishonest. You're just going to ignore the fact that you're terrible? If you blast these thoughts out with music, it's because you're scared of the truth." Has anyone ever overcome something like that? Anyway, Jessica, I love this channel. Thank you.
Just keep telling that depression that it's wrong, that it's lying to you, and you deserve to feel and get better. Even if you don't quite believe it yet, keep at it! "You're trying to keep me from getting better and I don't have to listen to you. I'm going to listen to music now."
Your brain sounds like an Internet troll tbh. Mine is, too. It's just an immature whiny-baby that cries when it doesn't get its precious attention. Remember what Luz Noceda said to Internet trolls: "You're not coming from a place of intellectual honesty, so debating you would be POINTLESS!" **blasts it with magic** Something I tell myself when my brain starts doing the same exact song and dance again: If you've already had the same exact discussion with your brain a million times, then there's nothing more to add. They say you should face your feelings and stuff head-on, but if you've already done that a million times, then there's nothing else that can be added to the discussion. Nothing to gain. Idk if any of this helps. Just in case.
I think acceptance can help a little bit too. Don't fight your own thoughts. Let them in and then let them go. Don't mark them as "good" or "bad". And eventually, they will lose some of their power. Hope that doesn't sound too esoteric. Good luck on your journey.
I loved that moment the most. Because shortly after he also mentions how incredibly convincing it can seem in it's relentless pursuit to drag you down.
Such great insight. Today on the drive into work my Demon lashed out and sought to drag me down. Inadvertently I laughed and said "No, today we are doing two specific, creative things. If I do that I'm a winner." It was silenced and at noon, one of those two things is done. Thank you for this explanation!
so distracting yourself isn’t the negative coping skill of like forgetting about it. sometimes we just need to think about and do something else to stop those negative thoughts
As someone with late- diagnosed ADHD, this speaks so many volumes for me personally. I find myself feeling the need to be self-deprecating at time to "get me going" and to see that this is a thing and seeing it as a stimulant, changes the game on how I will see it and work towards finding positive stimulates that can replace it! This was such a good video!
No kidding! Thank you for calling it a “stimulant” specifically - also helps me understand why I am one of those who absolutely CANNOT survive without my stimulant meds :) < Being late-diagnosed when I was 37; how the heck did I ever make it past puberty without the stimulants yet still manage to never get addicted to anything??? >
The worst thing I’ve ever been told by my exes was “Are you even listening?” My ADHD would always make me distracted to where people would accuse me of not caring about what they share with me.
And sometimes even in a healthy marriage with another NT you still do it and you can convince yourself you didnt care about what they were saying because of course every human being on the planet can tune directly into what somebody is saying at any time and bank every word and detail for any later date and time, so why should you, a person who only has ADHD, be any different?? We are truly not made for this world.
Never just start talking to me, especially if I'm watching a TV show. First, get my attention. Second, make sure I'm responding to you. Third, now you can tell me what you want to tell me.
My wife just waits until the end of the day when I'm trying to read a bit before bed to start talking about things that could've been talked about before. That's my excuse for not really hearing her.
I've been struggling with the demon my whole life but could never articulate it until this second. "It's like a horror movie but it's your own life." As a horror fan that line made so much sense to me. Thanks for making this video. It's literally life changing.
I love the rule of "never worry alone". I've been getting better about voicing my worries to friends and loved ones, and it's incredible how much power it takes away from my anxiety.
Oh, so this is why I like validation & encouragement so much. It gives me something external and objective that I can point to against these negative thoughts and say "actually I'm not that bad and even if I am at least one person doesn't think so" and it helps so much.
My understanding is that in ADHD, often the dmn stays active when we try to engage the tpn, which means that our brain is using more energy and not silencing the dmn, unless the task is super engaging. In neurotypicals the toggle between them tends to work better, so you engage in a task and the dmn quiets down. But I think that's also why we often come up with creative ways of seeing things while we are doing a task
That could be why he made mention of the task needs to be stimulating and engaging enough (which in theory sounds easy, in practice, for an ADHDer, it's less simple)!
The ability to access both pieces to make novel conclusions might very well be a result. Einstein was theorized to be able to make new “connections” between data because his right and left could communicate more effectively via a larger corpus collosum, the network which connect right and left.
I have worked through this maze using archetypal esoteric systems like astrology enneagram kabbalah and tarot. I liken them to languages of the soul. I find it soothing. And empowering because it provides a scaffold of meaning around my life.
When you have major depression it is overwhelming when these thoughts come in my head. I didn’t know ADHD did this. ADhD is so much more than involved than I ever imagined.
This was such perfect timing. I had a major meltdown yesterday, and I had so much negative talk and I couldn't make it go away. I was in despair. I'm doing better today, but 9:20 hit the nail on the head. Thank you so much for what you both do!
This is so validating to hear. So much of my life I’ve watched people cross off an item from there to do list and then just like feel happy and content. I usually stop working and then immediately end up in this state. I usually call it “instantly raising the bar on myself no matter what I accomplish.” So good to hear that there are explanations for why.
I've literally taken a week off from work for my own mental health. I'm not going to the beach. I just need some time. Unfortunately, the rumination follows. I would say this video is timely, but the truth is it would be timely for me anytime in the last two years. I have been ruminating on a job / situation for two years, even though I'm no longer in the job / situation. Funny how no matter what I'm thinking about my brain always ends up telling me it's my fault anyway, and I should've X, Y, Z... It got really dark for me at times, and without Jessica and this community, I'm not 100% I'd still be here. So, thanks to everyone for all you do. You are all awesome!
Thank you for this! I was diagnosed with clinical depression almost 3 decades before I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. The demon is strong with this one. I'm glad to know that it really is all in my head!
"You got to find something that is stimulating enough to out stimulate the demon." I need to try this. Excellent video and very helpful. Thank you for sharing this.
This is so very true. Also makes so much sense of why I have always had to “plan distractions” while doing boring tasks like housework. I have to have a podcast or audiobook or TH-cam on to keep my brain busy while my hands are engaged in something more boring. If I don’t, I’ll spiral into self-hatred and condemnation and get very depressed and anxious.
It brings receipts. A nice catalog of every thing you've ever done that supports the case in which it is prosecuting you. I'm glad I saw this one. One after another of these videos brings up something that resonates 100% with me, but this one ... over the past 6 years, it has taken over my life. I thought it was introspection. I thought I was improving myself by recognizing my failures.
Unbelievable how well he described my inner life since I was a kid. I've been suspected of having depression, GAD and OCD but the meds were never a fix, techniques were never a fix, but this one concept he described gave me and instant grasp on myself and how I feel and think.
Thank you immensly for the help. As someone with ADHD who's currently heavily struggling to keep themselves together due to lack of sleep and constant ruminations, I needed to hear that.
Omg this explains so well why I need to have something playing or whatever when I'm needing to rest. Even when i have a migraine and it hurts to have noise, it almost hurts more to have nothing. Now i understand!
Honestly I found this video at the perfect time. I've been ruminating and catastrophising over the fact that my pharmacy couldn't get my prescription and I'll have to spend my day tomorrow finding a pharmacy that might have the medication I need. Having a "cutesy" name for this phenomenon makes it seem much smaller and way more manageable.
The demon is like my personal narcissist. If you listen to it, it'll grow. But if you do something fun, it'll go away. This video is very enlightening. It explains so much.
This makes so much sense. I always dread trying to go to sleep at night because my brain immediately just goes into "spiral mode" once I stop for the day.
Yeah they didn’t talk about that. You don’t want to do something too stimulating at night to distract the dmn. Same with if you wake up too early and it turns on. I listen to a podcast slightly engaging but that I won’t care if I miss something falling asleep. White noise helps too.
Bro saaaaame i was waiting for that to get mentioned cause you can't keep stimulating yourself into falling asleep, unless you're able to sleep with music on or a podcast playing in the background, that helps my brain get distracted enough to not get those negative thoughts overpowering. The hardest for me is when I first get up in the morning, I can't just sit with my mind and have to immediately do something mildly stimulating, like watching yt shorts for 30 min or something, then I can start my day and do what I got to do.
Thank you so much for this. The "demon" was destroying my life from a young age, and my first therapist taught me how to control and stop ruminating. It was so bad I couldn't sleep at night until she helped me get a handle on it. It would be over a decade before I got my ADHD diagnosis (last year!) and I cannot thank you enough for making this. Whenever it strikes, it's absolutely vicious and so, so cruel, and it scared me how visceral it can be, and how suddenly it appeared. I had no idea what caused it until watching this video. This is huge. I can finally understand and deal with it without it tearing me into so many pieces. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
I have older friends and can say I’ve seen this in several of my ADHD senior friends and I’m so afraid of my own struggle with ADHD and rumination getting worse as I age. Why does this happen?
I’m 51, and this has begun happening to me especially lately. I’ve wrecked my sleep schedule the past few weeks and as a result I’ve been more susceptible to the bad brain stuff. I’ll entertain myself at home by drawing, playing video games, etc., and then when I go to my job after that, I begin to ruminate on how I’ve disappointed my wife, how I’ll never accomplish anything with my art, how my relationship with my father will never improve, etc. I’ve even caught myself becoming bitter over failed relationships and missed opportunities when I was in my teens and twenties because a particular 80s-90s song started playing on Pandora. I’ve been wondering why this keeps happening, so learning about the “Demon” is very helpful!
Music is my main way of coping with demon. Technical death metal is great, it's so fast, complex and layered it stimulates me so much it's easier to maintain attention on a task at hand. Concerts are so intense they give me huge mental release and long-lasting rush of dopamine. Thanks death metal 🌈 🤘
I'm not exactly a metalhead but listening to Archspire is incredible for my ADHD. Fast, loud, over-the-top, dramatic, but still melodic and catchy somehow
This is super helpful, thank you! Reminds me how many years ago I came to a therapist while badly depressed and couldn't even describe my problem without crying uncontrollably, so the therapist started asking questions about an exciting project I was working on - and magically I could calm down and talk. Now I see this was an example of shutting down the DMN with a stimulating task (and it might be a useful tool to help an excitable friend in distress)
I teared up a little while watching this. Not in a bad way but because it's so validating. I struggle with rumination and catastrophizing. I have gotten to a point where I can start recognizing it and my go to is to switch tasks and drown it out until it's gone. Sometimes I do struggle with the feeling of "running away" from my problems as the voice in my head will point out but I try not to give into that thought. I have learned to separate my depression/anxiety from myself as entities that want to bring me down, that want to make me suffer. They are liars and I can't trust them. My mind has been a little more calm in recent months as I have been trying my best to not feed the demon. I still struggle here and there but I am so happy that this is something I already naturally started doing for myself. And this gives me further confirmation to keep at it.
One of my biggest hurdles is only wanting to do something when I have to do something else. I will feel an incredible, disruptive and harmful need to clean the dishes I’ve avoided for days when I have an a busy day of clients. I only engage in socializing when I supposed to be doing taxes and I can only do taxes if I have to do replace a tire and on and on:) 14:07 yes the stupid what ifs! And we when we need to talk to someone we have an incredible feeling to retreat into our cave space … And thus.. I’m on TH-cam instead of..:)
That's cool to know someone else has that. I realized yesterday that I get lots of good idea and vibes to get into flow - when I'm doing something else. I also remembered in high school leaving the house to go study somewhere and then noticing that it was somehow harder to study once there - but I had great ideas for my house! 😂😂 Damn.
Literally, “an idle mind is the devil’s playground”. I’m thankful my mentors and mother gave me structured habits to manage my ADHD the way I do before I even knew I had it. I’m so grateful
I call it the Spiral. I try so hard not to spiral into the worst thought possible. Once you recognize it, I have to call out on my confidence and that I HAVE done good things in life. Emotional, productional, creative. I have done things. It’s what i do to keep me out of the Spiral.
A lot of the time, my mind goes to what I did wrong or what could have potentially gone wrong. But then I interrupt it with, "No, that didn't happen and I don't have to worry about it." Or "I can learn from this and do better next time." But it's just deciding in the moment that you don't have to rake yourself over the coals with what you did wrong or what could have gone wrong and just accept the circumstances for what they are. Self-compassion, self-forgiveness, and self-gratitude go a long way in interrupting and mending from the rumination cycle. But also include others in your life and try to help each other. I liked the video btw. Thanks for continuing to share your struggles on your journey.
This is a wonderful community, and because ADHD is a spectrum (both in intensity and in attention/hyperactivity), naturally certain things will resonate with certain people more than others. I can relate to many of your videos, and there are many that don't seem to click for me. In this case, it was great info! Very clearly presented, with clear actions for improvement.
I don't have ADHD, but I've been studying it so that I can understand it more and help a close friend of mine. Your videos have helped me a lot in these past few weeks and made me realized the wrong things I've said and done that I thought was helpful to her. Looking forward to your future videos and learning more about ADHD.
That's very interesting to hear that us people with ADHD need the stimulation from ruminating, because I always find I like to argue out loud with ruminating thoughts, but at the same time it gets to be miserable and exhausting when it happens almost 24/7 especially since I am on disability and I don't go out and work so their is little to no stimulation in my environment so that makes it even worse.
I’ve never felt more seen in my life. I got diagnosed two years ago and questioned the diagnosis for a while, but the more I learn and the more shared experiences I see, the more I’m beginning to understand myself.
I’ve not (yet) been officially diagnosed ADHD but generally very interested in various topics of the neurodivergent spectrum- stumbled across Dr. Hallowell‘s book more or less by accident and what I learned there especially about the TPN and DMN in our brains was so mind boggling.. I feel like so many things in my 39- year long life now finally make sense. Thank you so much for your work, Doctor! And you too of course Jessica. Much love from Germany.
This was extremely education and enlightening, thank you! One of the ways I worked on my mental catastrophizing before bed when I was trying to sleep was to tell myself "If you're going to imagine the worst outcome of a situation, you can imagine other outcomes too" and I would try to think about the best way it could go, or the most unlikely outcome, or what if everyone had superpowers, and that made it much more interesting and easier to put my imagination to work on something less depressing.
Makes so, so much sense! I have to admit, I was crying when I watched it yesterday. Explains so many things and lifts a dark heavy load from our shoulders and souls!
OMG!! This has been the HARDEST thing to deal with for the past 6 months or so!!! It's been driving me crazy at night so I can't fall asleep. Thank you for saying it's a real thing!! I thought all the worry was just another kind of depression. Thank you so much for these ideas to deal with it!!! I have been singing a song or turning on VERY loud sound machine sounds to distract me. Glad to know I'm not crazy!!!
Great video! Such an important topic. Reminds me of when I was learning about Buddhism and the Five Hindrances: Doubt, Ill-will, Restlessness and Worry/Remorse, Sensory desires, Sloth/Torpor/Lethargy/Apathy. When I'm really actively meditating consistently, noticing these through the day and investigating them became a way to stimulate and maybe move out of the DMN and hopefully reprogram it to be less hostile.
One thing I heard years ago to distract yourself from obtrusive thoughts is to play a quick round of Tetris! That engages your brain in such a way that it can even be used when you're nibbly hungry but know it's not time to eat.
Understanding this is gonna help me get myself out of some dark places i'm going through. This channel has helped me so much with my ADHD, got diagnosed recently and was so hard to make family and friends understand how hard can be to me to control what has my attention and how to stop myself from focusing just in one thing.
Okay so I used this trick a lot when I was younger and if you feel like you are drowning in the demon, try this: Just go outside! Walk to a local forest, just walk until you feel better! And if walking doesn't make it better, RUN!!! Run as fast as you can, cry while doing it, make it dramatic, and I'll assure you you will feel so much better after. After the dramatic run, you can walk around and just notice the world around you. Listen to the birds, look at the different flowers people have in their garden. You will calm down and feel more clear. It really works!
Exercise is hands down the best "medicine" for ADHD I've ever had. It can absolutely stop those feelings for a while. If you exercise everyday it gets even better. I know one tool doesn't work for everyone but it should be on everyone's toolbelt.
I am not in a location where I can walk very far and I am disabled which means I have limited mobility. Running is not an option. Walking is difficult. So, I'm kind of screwed.
I cannot stand the memories of my pets deaths. I made the decision to have my best friend put to sleep and everytime the memory boils up, Im absolutely wrecked for hours.
This video could not have come at a better time for me. I've been struggling with this very thing today and it has been debilitating. I already feel better after watching this video and having had the process explained. I'm gonna go find something creative to do now. Thank you for posting this today. ❤ Also, although you do sound tired from being a new momma, you look radiant and stunning! ✨️
6:40 I feel this is why I sometimes have a clearer mind after I watch horror movies, because I purposefully make myself scared so that the DMN doesn't do it for me. As a linguist, I also love the symmetry of the word "demon" because the original Ancient Greek word "daimon" (δαίμων) is a more neutral word for a spiritual being who watches over you, whether good or bad. But because we now use "demon" only for bad spirits, we usually use "daimon" when talking about the good ones, by contrast. It kind of reminds me how the trick to shutting of the DMN is to re-engage the TPN. It's kinda like, putting it poetically, turning the demon into a daimon.
I distract with youtube videos... I can even chose how long I want to do this for because I can see how long the video will be.... Helps me a lot when I don't have the energy to do something more active, physically or otherwise.
This is one of the most powerful and meaningful episodes I've watched yet. I have been dealing with this for so long. Thank you so much for the work you do. Congrats on that new baby.
The DMN is so much easier to believe because it is our own voice we hear telling us these things. The song “first place I go” by Avi Kaplan embodies the lies our brains tell us and is so helpful for me to shift, as he sings the lines “close your mouth don’t speak those lies”. It reminds me to focus on what I can control, rather than the things I cannot, like the past.
All of your videos are so good and so helpful, and this is one of the best you've ever done. DMN is new information for me, and it's a game-changer. Life changing, maybe. I will watch this on repeat. Thank you, and thank you Dr. Hallowell!
Oh, I so needed this. When the Demon gets really bad, I plug in my favorite band (Twenty One Pilots) and sing my head off. There is literally no other music in the world that shuts up the Demon and locks it back in it's room.
I label my tasks as follows : Short and sweet Medium and simple Medium and complex Long and complex Long and boaring This way i can judge not only based on time but also complexity . This helps me ajust things based on my current attention span and executive function skills , to effectively complete tasks
You are literally shining Jessica, you look so happy and calm!! ♥☀ Congrats with your little one, and thank you so much for all your amazing video's and the help you gave me the past 8 years! All the love for you and your family!
Thank you so much for the video! 💗 7:02 "We torture ourselves because it's stimulating" *Tricks* 🧠🦋 8:12 *1) Recognize it when it's happening* 8:22 *2) Shut it off (by switching your attention)* 9:11 "It's always convincing. Don't try to argue against it. It's the devil". 9:48 Do something creative (call a friend, bake a cake, write an e- mail, etc. ) show it you're the boss. 11:50 "The most wonderful gift we have is our imagination, we the most horrible curse we have is our imagination". 13:30 The thing you do must be stimulating enough . The demon is powerful. 13:43 3) *Never Worry alone* 14:12 Reduces toxic worry Feel less vulnerable 14:14 *The two key variables that create worry:* A heightened feeling of vulnerability and a diminished feeling of power and control.
So THAT’S why my brain immediately calms down when I read the kids a book in the midst of a negative spiral. I absolutely love this trick. I think I’ll start keeping a good book in the kitchen where my anxiety seems to get the worse. Thank you!
I'm realizing more and more how desperate for stimulation I've been for such a long time. I feel like I've been stuck in a haze for years now, in no small part because I'm too anxious to go out and properly seek stimulation. I know I need it, I desperately crave it, but asking people to meet up, going to work out, creating something, spending money, even just talking to some stranger in an online game, it feels like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff. And I know logically it will be fine, I've jumped before and I'm better for it, but the logical brain just can't overpower that deep terror. Its easier to just doom scroll and eat garbage says the brain. Easier to be numb.
Doc: "what can the brain not live without? Oxygen and glucose, and how you shut those off??" My brain: "YOU STOP BREATHING!!!" Doc: "...you switch your atention so you no longer feed the demon" My brain: "THAT WORKS TOOO!!!"
I genuinely thought "stop breathing" was going to be the next thing out of his mouth and I was genuinely excited to learn about how I could stop intrusive thoughts by holding my breath. Low key disappointed that was not the case 😅
I personally find getting down to work the hardest thing for me to do. One thing that helps me is to remind myself that, on average, it takes 22 minutes to focus (I believe for neurotypical individual). So, when I get frustrated that its hard for me to focus, I keep a timer and make sure I'm not prematurely giving up 👍 If I’m having trouble, though, I try focusing for 10-15 min, take a 5 min break, then add five minutes to my focusing time and do that up to 25 min. This tapering effect typically helps me get going. However, I know things will spiral when I start to get frustrated because I ruminate on self-punishing thoughts. Thank you for posting this video!!! It is so helpful 🙌
I feel like this advice can be upsetting if not treated with care. Whilst I'm sure it works, it almost seems like a 'just ignore it' type of solution. Not saying it's bad advice or unfounded, just that surely there has to be more to it? When you have a whole host of other issues that come with ADHD, like cPTSD or executive function challenges, is really 'go do something else, something engaging and don't listen' really the best advice we have? I've been trying to fight this demon for decades, to just be told I need to focus and concentrate on something else that's engaging (a monumental regulatory task for ADHDers, and an especially larger mountain when your demon is so big you've lost all sense of who you are) feels a bit like being told I'm never going to escape this hell unless I push myself into a coffee/amphetamine fueled burnout 😢
One tactic for helping kids with rumination is to set a certain time to talk about it. For example, if a child is consistently worried about tornadoes and talking about it anytime they're anxious hasn't helped, saying 'let's save talking about tornadoes for 7-8pm' may help the kid focus the rest of the time. Parenting your brain like that may help (I haven't tried it yet).
Thank you Jessica! Again, you hit a home run. I took a quick shower after watching it. Then I watched it two more times!! Great for my 51 year old adhd brain and my 14 and 9 year old kids brains 🧠. I will show this to my husband’s 45 year old brain when he returns from work. ❤❤❤❤
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.@@LucyFernandez628
Yeah, hi, I've had this video on my to-do list for a week. I ended up listening to a bunch of videos on a day off because I couldn't get the energy to do anything else productive. And hearing "ADHD people torture themselves as a form of stimulation" is going to haunt my waking hours for the rest of the week.
Yeah no, that just turns it into random irritating noise. Sped up talking being hard to concentrate on is also the main reason I can't watch many yt shorts in one sitting. With some TH-camrs, I even play their stuff back at 0.75x cos they just speak too damn fast 😅
@@infernalstan886 Same!! I especially like 0.85x. I used to be able to follow at normal speed, I'm not sure what changed. Coincidentally, this started happening since I started being more mindful! Fun thing is - I had the video at 0.75x at first without really realizing, and Jessica sounded perfectly. Then as the doc started to speak, it was soooo slow I had to turn it up to 85! :') Some people are just naturally quick speakers!
I’m a musician and my playing, teaching and performance modes are the few times i actually feel ‘free’ from this demon…im trying to make exercise and meditation also large parts of my daily routine cause this problem is really huge…✊🏽
Big hugs one of the biggest problems with middle management is the division of tasks. And Yes anyone had taken care of a child will realize that they need more stimulus and exposure to live to let them learn about life so they can learn to regulate their emotions to that stimulus. And teach them how to deal with people who are going to tick them off. Love the video . And let's teach our respect for other people and how to work things out with each other.❤
This rings so true to my experience of ADHD and explains the coexistence of BDD too. I've found attention training from MCT incredibly helpful in retraining my focus to be 'external'.
I remember watching this video and thinking "why does 'Dr. Hallowell' sound familliar?" Today, I found a little book in my shelf called "Driven to Distraction". This guy is one of the authors. He literally wrote THE ADHD book!
Does anyone else find that forcing themselves to concentrate on something boring makes them extremely tired, to the point of falling asleep even?
YES! Jessica on her HowtoADHD channel talks about limited spoons in one of her videos which really helps with that.
Yes, but I also have narcolepsy 😂
Unfortunately, for those with ADD/ADHD, we don’t really have the initial energy to focus on anything that doesn’t stimulate us.
So, when we try to focus on homework, on a book that’s hit a wall, story wise, or when doing something mundane, ADD/ADHD brains can’t get much done without some kind of stimulant (prescribed meds, caffeine, sugars, etc)
@@TophinatorStreams
So much caffeine 😮
@@TophinatorStreams this is true…
Getting negative thoughts and reacting with “oh my brain must be bored” is such a power move.
The difficult part is training your brain to recognise those thoughts and the emotions that arise to be able to stop yourself from entering the vortex and doing the power move instead.
@@dmrfnk Thats where mindfulness helps. Besides your mind noticing that you start to ruminate, understanding how you feel and whats your energy level is very important, and seems to be a massive weak point in a lot of people with ADHD. Including myself, but working on that stuff makes a huge difference.
This comment should be pinned. In a nutshell is the most important takeaway/action item of this entire video.
My eyes just opened to this
Like I’m bored, let’s make dramaaa
"so we torture ourselves because it's stimulating" oh my goddddd i just had the biggest lightbulb moment about why whenever i'm just trying to chill out my brain gremlins have to start shouting at me about what a wretched failure i am. it's stimulating!! ahhh!!!!!
When things weren't going the way I wanted in my life I don't think I was fully on self-destructive but I would definitely start trying to figure out how to make a crisis situation because I was really good in crisis situations. But then you're living in a constant fire drill.
it's also similarly why people go back to abusive partners, or won't get out of abusive relationships. abuse is stimulation. stress is stimulation. and the period of calm in between the abuse is a point of relief that is addicting.
I know!!!! Crazy right?!!! Wish I'd known this like 30 years ago!!!
This may explain why listening to powerful music while taking a nap is counterintuitively so calming!
It explains my captivation with existential risk but lack of follow through on the mundane tasks that would be preventative.
This is life changing. I’m an artist and I’ve always told people when I paint or turn on some good music it’s like a part of my brain “shuts off”. Rumination is my biggest obstacle. And learning to cope with it is a STRUGGLE. Thank you so much.
Ruminating is a huge obstacle for me also.
Fellow artist/musician here. Totally get that. Knowing whats going on in my brain helps so much. I recently heard someone (maybe this channel?) advise to personify and externalize negative self talk, actually give it a name, (i.e. Fred, Vicky, etc) and tell them sternly to shut up. "Shut up, Vicky!). I thought that was hilarious, but I also think it might work if I remember to do it. Hope it helps and I hope your life gets better. Peace.❤
Good luck with the struggle! l know it well.
I'm an actor, and 1000000%
@@ht7csif you've ever seen the Pixar movie "Luca" his personification of self doubt etc is "Bruno" lol. I think he enthusiastically says "Ciao Bruno!" 😂
Sometimes it's not as simple as, "distract yourself from it". Those demons can become heavily ingrained due to trauma. Sometimes "distracting yourself" turns into doom scrolling, gaming addiction, or worse. Obviously choosing healthy things to distract from those thoughts is ideal. But taking steps to heal those trauma wounds can help reduce the volume of those voices.
Yeah very important point. I remember I was watching an anime (Naruto Shippuden) that had a really symbolic scene where Naruto had to confront his inner dark self (his demon essentially), which was just his build up trauma, anger, and resentment. His approach was to confront his inner demon head on and show nothing but love and compassion. Not saying that this will play out as easy, but I do believe Love is a better answer to dealing with inner demons than distracting yourself. It will just keep coming back because of neglect. It’s hard and scary facing the demon, but it’s harder to stray away from it.
You're right, but also I don't think "distract yourself out of rumination and into action" is advice about what you're talking about, which I would describe as "dissociating as a trauma response." It's moving deeper into paralysis, not out of it.
BUT the most important point is that you are 110% correct that this pattern will make things worse, and gets addictive. And I have accidentally done it while thinking that I was using healthy "distraction" techniques. You're correct that trauma therapy, dealing with the suppressed emotions, and growing past maladaptive coping methods is the only real way to deal with it.
seeing the puppy in your lap is helping me focus on the professor's words. thank you for including the puppy.
Does anyone else ever feel like they *could* starve the rumination demon with some of the ADHD-friendly coping skills mentioned here (listening to loud music, writing, etc.) but they've also got a strong depression part that says, "That's dishonest. You're just going to ignore the fact that you're terrible? If you blast these thoughts out with music, it's because you're scared of the truth." Has anyone ever overcome something like that? Anyway, Jessica, I love this channel. Thank you.
Agreed... It feels like running away and ignoring the bigger problem, even if it works. I feel like a fraud
Just keep telling that depression that it's wrong, that it's lying to you, and you deserve to feel and get better. Even if you don't quite believe it yet, keep at it! "You're trying to keep me from getting better and I don't have to listen to you. I'm going to listen to music now."
Your brain sounds like an Internet troll tbh. Mine is, too. It's just an immature whiny-baby that cries when it doesn't get its precious attention. Remember what Luz Noceda said to Internet trolls: "You're not coming from a place of intellectual honesty, so debating you would be POINTLESS!" **blasts it with magic**
Something I tell myself when my brain starts doing the same exact song and dance again: If you've already had the same exact discussion with your brain a million times, then there's nothing more to add. They say you should face your feelings and stuff head-on, but if you've already done that a million times, then there's nothing else that can be added to the discussion. Nothing to gain.
Idk if any of this helps. Just in case.
@@catbatrat1760 Luz was so real for that. I miss that show ♡
I think acceptance can help a little bit too. Don't fight your own thoughts. Let them in and then let them go. Don't mark them as "good" or "bad". And eventually, they will lose some of their power. Hope that doesn't sound too esoteric. Good luck on your journey.
Hate to say it but “an idle mind is the devils playground” has a new meaning for me now lol
Definitely! 🤣
Yeah.. iam glad that my mind feels like autobahn in germany 😅 never idle
Your mind have time to idle? I wish I could do that. 😔
Thank you for bringing this up, it's a great quote
thats good i can remember that , thanks!
I appreciate you saying “it’s not insight.” That’s so true and important to remember.
Yes!
Good point to emphasize, thanks
I loved that moment the most. Because shortly after he also mentions how incredibly convincing it can seem in it's relentless pursuit to drag you down.
Such great insight. Today on the drive into work my Demon lashed out and sought to drag me down. Inadvertently I laughed and said "No, today we are doing two specific, creative things. If I do that I'm a winner."
It was silenced and at noon, one of those two things is done.
Thank you for this explanation!
Good job! If I had set a barrier like that I would have turned around and driven home 😂
so distracting yourself isn’t the negative coping skill of like forgetting about it. sometimes we just need to think about and do something else to stop those negative thoughts
As someone with late- diagnosed ADHD, this speaks so many volumes for me personally. I find myself feeling the need to be self-deprecating at time to "get me going" and to see that this is a thing and seeing it as a stimulant, changes the game on how I will see it and work towards finding positive stimulates that can replace it! This was such a good video!
Yes!! Same! It used to be motivating like tough love then I beat myself down
No kidding! Thank you for calling it a “stimulant” specifically - also helps me understand why I am one of those who absolutely CANNOT survive without my stimulant meds :)
< Being late-diagnosed when I was 37; how the heck did I ever make it past puberty without the stimulants yet still manage to never get addicted to anything??? >
The worst thing I’ve ever been told by my exes was “Are you even listening?” My ADHD would always make me distracted to where people would accuse me of not caring about what they share with me.
And sometimes even in a healthy marriage with another NT you still do it and you can convince yourself you didnt care about what they were saying because of course every human being on the planet can tune directly into what somebody is saying at any time and bank every word and detail for any later date and time, so why should you, a person who only has ADHD, be any different?? We are truly not made for this world.
Never just start talking to me,
especially if I'm watching a TV show.
First, get my attention.
Second, make sure I'm responding to you.
Third, now you can tell me what you want to tell me.
@@scotttoveyWay to articulate! Omg I'm using that 🙏
My wife just waits until the end of the day when I'm trying to read a bit before bed to start talking about things that could've been talked about before. That's my excuse for not really hearing her.
@@kayveevibes 😎👍
I've been struggling with the demon my whole life but could never articulate it until this second. "It's like a horror movie but it's your own life." As a horror fan that line made so much sense to me. Thanks for making this video. It's literally life changing.
I love the rule of "never worry alone". I've been getting better about voicing my worries to friends and loved ones, and it's incredible how much power it takes away from my anxiety.
Oh, so this is why I like validation & encouragement so much. It gives me something external and objective that I can point to against these negative thoughts and say "actually I'm not that bad and even if I am at least one person doesn't think so" and it helps so much.
My understanding is that in ADHD, often the dmn stays active when we try to engage the tpn, which means that our brain is using more energy and not silencing the dmn, unless the task is super engaging. In neurotypicals the toggle between them tends to work better, so you engage in a task and the dmn quiets down. But I think that's also why we often come up with creative ways of seeing things while we are doing a task
That could be why he made mention of the task needs to be stimulating and engaging enough (which in theory sounds easy, in practice, for an ADHDer, it's less simple)!
Maybe it's our problem solving skill at work!
The ability to access both pieces to make novel conclusions might very well be a result. Einstein was theorized to be able to make new “connections” between data because his right and left could communicate more effectively via a larger corpus collosum, the network which connect right and left.
Why are you writing demon that way?
I have worked through this maze using archetypal esoteric systems like astrology enneagram kabbalah
and tarot. I liken them to languages of the soul. I find it soothing. And empowering because it provides a scaffold of meaning around my life.
When you have major depression it is overwhelming when these thoughts come in my head. I didn’t know ADHD did this. ADhD is so much more than involved than I ever imagined.
This was such perfect timing. I had a major meltdown yesterday, and I had so much negative talk and I couldn't make it go away. I was in despair. I'm doing better today, but 9:20 hit the nail on the head.
Thank you so much for what you both do!
Awwwww we're glad the video could come out at a good time for you and that it was helpful
This is so validating to hear. So much of my life I’ve watched people cross off an item from there to do list and then just like feel happy and content. I usually stop working and then immediately end up in this state. I usually call it “instantly raising the bar on myself no matter what I accomplish.” So good to hear that there are explanations for why.
I've literally taken a week off from work for my own mental health. I'm not going to the beach. I just need some time. Unfortunately, the rumination follows. I would say this video is timely, but the truth is it would be timely for me anytime in the last two years. I have been ruminating on a job / situation for two years, even though I'm no longer in the job / situation. Funny how no matter what I'm thinking about my brain always ends up telling me it's my fault anyway, and I should've X, Y, Z... It got really dark for me at times, and without Jessica and this community, I'm not 100% I'd still be here. So, thanks to everyone for all you do. You are all awesome!
Ask it what it’s afraid of happening? And even if things are perfect what it needs to make it better?
Thank you for this! I was diagnosed with clinical depression almost 3 decades before I was finally diagnosed with ADHD. The demon is strong with this one. I'm glad to know that it really is all in my head!
"You got to find something that is stimulating enough to out stimulate the demon." I need to try this. Excellent video and very helpful. Thank you for sharing this.
This is so very true. Also makes so much sense of why I have always had to “plan distractions” while doing boring tasks like housework. I have to have a podcast or audiobook or TH-cam on to keep my brain busy while my hands are engaged in something more boring. If I don’t, I’ll spiral into self-hatred and condemnation and get very depressed and anxious.
It brings receipts. A nice catalog of every thing you've ever done that supports the case in which it is prosecuting you. I'm glad I saw this one. One after another of these videos brings up something that resonates 100% with me, but this one ... over the past 6 years, it has taken over my life. I thought it was introspection. I thought I was improving myself by recognizing my failures.
Unbelievable how well he described my inner life since I was a kid. I've been suspected of having depression, GAD and OCD but the meds were never a fix, techniques were never a fix, but this one concept he described gave me and instant grasp on myself and how I feel and think.
Thank you immensly for the help.
As someone with ADHD who's currently heavily struggling to keep themselves together due to lack of sleep and constant ruminations, I needed to hear that.
Omg this explains so well why I need to have something playing or whatever when I'm needing to rest. Even when i have a migraine and it hurts to have noise, it almost hurts more to have nothing.
Now i understand!
Honestly I found this video at the perfect time. I've been ruminating and catastrophising over the fact that my pharmacy couldn't get my prescription and I'll have to spend my day tomorrow finding a pharmacy that might have the medication I need. Having a "cutesy" name for this phenomenon makes it seem much smaller and way more manageable.
The demon is like my personal narcissist. If you listen to it, it'll grow. But if you do something fun, it'll go away. This video is very enlightening. It explains so much.
This makes so much sense. I always dread trying to go to sleep at night because my brain immediately just goes into "spiral mode" once I stop for the day.
Yeah they didn’t talk about that. You don’t want to do something too stimulating at night to distract the dmn. Same with if you wake up too early and it turns on. I listen to a podcast slightly engaging but that I won’t care if I miss something falling asleep. White noise helps too.
Yawning is a non-stimulating alternative.
It's hard to think when you yawn, so 2-3 long ones are usually enough to reset the train of thought.
Bro saaaaame i was waiting for that to get mentioned cause you can't keep stimulating yourself into falling asleep, unless you're able to sleep with music on or a podcast playing in the background, that helps my brain get distracted enough to not get those negative thoughts overpowering. The hardest for me is when I first get up in the morning, I can't just sit with my mind and have to immediately do something mildly stimulating, like watching yt shorts for 30 min or something, then I can start my day and do what I got to do.
Thank you so much for this. The "demon" was destroying my life from a young age, and my first therapist taught me how to control and stop ruminating. It was so bad I couldn't sleep at night until she helped me get a handle on it. It would be over a decade before I got my ADHD diagnosis (last year!) and I cannot thank you enough for making this. Whenever it strikes, it's absolutely vicious and so, so cruel, and it scared me how visceral it can be, and how suddenly it appeared. I had no idea what caused it until watching this video. This is huge. I can finally understand and deal with it without it tearing me into so many pieces. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
It seems I do this more and more the older I get. I'm 57, and every embarrassing and bad moment in my life comes fluding back with extreme emotions.
I have older friends and can say I’ve seen this in several of my ADHD senior friends and I’m so afraid of my own struggle with ADHD and rumination getting worse as I age. Why does this happen?
@krystalmckenzie3041 I don't know, but some days it happens dozens of times.
37 here and basically the same. I also vocalize when the torrent of bad moments comes in, like a tic.
I’m 51, and this has begun happening to me especially lately. I’ve wrecked my sleep schedule the past few weeks and as a result I’ve been more susceptible to the bad brain stuff. I’ll entertain myself at home by drawing, playing video games, etc., and then when I go to my job after that, I begin to ruminate on how I’ve disappointed my wife, how I’ll never accomplish anything with my art, how my relationship with my father will never improve, etc. I’ve even caught myself becoming bitter over failed relationships and missed opportunities when I was in my teens and twenties because a particular 80s-90s song started playing on Pandora. I’ve been wondering why this keeps happening, so learning about the “Demon” is very helpful!
@@saooran7364You're the first other person I have heard or read has this happen to them! I feel less alone. Thank you for sharing this.
"Heat up burrito" ... Jessica knows what the important tasks are!
Food is definitely important!
Jessica is literally my spirit animal.
A reminder to eat 😂 in the most discreet way
Music is my main way of coping with demon. Technical death metal is great, it's so fast, complex and layered it stimulates me so much it's easier to maintain attention on a task at hand. Concerts are so intense they give me huge mental release and long-lasting rush of dopamine. Thanks death metal 🌈 🤘
I'm not exactly a metalhead but listening to Archspire is incredible for my ADHD. Fast, loud, over-the-top, dramatic, but still melodic and catchy somehow
August Burn Red is my favorite flavor of musical ADHD stimulation.
@@kikiseo Great band, they hit that happy place in my brain. See them live if you get the chance, worth it
For me it's high energy rave music like drum&bass and happy hardcore - that kind of music makes me feel unstoppable ✨
@@R1ckDeckard Going to see them for the second time next month! They're insane
I don't have self-esteem issues, but I absolutely have anxiety issues. I'm going to try this when I start worrying.
This is super helpful, thank you! Reminds me how many years ago I came to a therapist while badly depressed and couldn't even describe my problem without crying uncontrollably, so the therapist started asking questions about an exciting project I was working on - and magically I could calm down and talk. Now I see this was an example of shutting down the DMN with a stimulating task (and it might be a useful tool to help an excitable friend in distress)
Indeed it will , this is really helpful
I teared up a little while watching this. Not in a bad way but because it's so validating. I struggle with rumination and catastrophizing. I have gotten to a point where I can start recognizing it and my go to is to switch tasks and drown it out until it's gone. Sometimes I do struggle with the feeling of "running away" from my problems as the voice in my head will point out but I try not to give into that thought. I have learned to separate my depression/anxiety from myself as entities that want to bring me down, that want to make me suffer. They are liars and I can't trust them. My mind has been a little more calm in recent months as I have been trying my best to not feed the demon. I still struggle here and there but I am so happy that this is something I already naturally started doing for myself. And this gives me further confirmation to keep at it.
One of my biggest hurdles is only wanting to do something when I have to do something else.
I will feel an incredible, disruptive and harmful need to clean the dishes I’ve avoided for days when I have an a busy day of clients. I only engage in socializing when I supposed to be doing taxes and I can only do taxes if I have to do replace a tire and on and on:)
14:07 yes the stupid what ifs!
And we when we need to talk to someone we have an incredible feeling to retreat into our cave space …
And thus.. I’m on TH-cam instead of..:)
That's cool to know someone else has that. I realized yesterday that I get lots of good idea and vibes to get into flow - when I'm doing something else.
I also remembered in high school leaving the house to go study somewhere and then noticing that it was somehow harder to study once there - but I had great ideas for my house! 😂😂 Damn.
Dr Hallowell's books changed my life.
Literally, “an idle mind is the devil’s playground”.
I’m thankful my mentors and mother gave me structured habits to manage my ADHD the way I do before I even knew I had it. I’m so grateful
I call it the Spiral. I try so hard not to spiral into the worst thought possible. Once you recognize it, I have to call out on my confidence and that I HAVE done good things in life. Emotional, productional, creative. I have done things. It’s what i do to keep me out of the Spiral.
A lot of the time, my mind goes to what I did wrong or what could have potentially gone wrong. But then I interrupt it with, "No, that didn't happen and I don't have to worry about it." Or "I can learn from this and do better next time." But it's just deciding in the moment that you don't have to rake yourself over the coals with what you did wrong or what could have gone wrong and just accept the circumstances for what they are.
Self-compassion, self-forgiveness, and self-gratitude go a long way in interrupting and mending from the rumination cycle. But also include others in your life and try to help each other. I liked the video btw. Thanks for continuing to share your struggles on your journey.
This is a wonderful community, and because ADHD is a spectrum (both in intensity and in attention/hyperactivity), naturally certain things will resonate with certain people more than others. I can relate to many of your videos, and there are many that don't seem to click for me. In this case, it was great info! Very clearly presented, with clear actions for improvement.
The best thing I ever did was write down every negative thought that "demon" gave me and labeled the paper as LIES.
I LOVE THIS
Awwee congratulations 🎊 👏 💐 a baby! I miss those days! Now my Son is 16. Enjoy as much as you can! ❤️
I don't have ADHD, but I've been studying it so that I can understand it more and help a close friend of mine. Your videos have helped me a lot in these past few weeks and made me realized the wrong things I've said and done that I thought was helpful to her. Looking forward to your future videos and learning more about ADHD.
Dr. Hallowell! NICE! THANK YOU! I've read several of his books! ❤
ADHD and Fear of the Unknown has caused me to give up on finding my true calling and creative side. Its horrible. Great interview.
That's very interesting to hear that us people with ADHD need the stimulation from ruminating, because I always find I like to argue out loud with ruminating thoughts, but at the same time it gets to be miserable and exhausting when it happens almost 24/7 especially since I am on disability and I don't go out and work so their is little to no stimulation in my environment so that makes it even worse.
I’ve never felt more seen in my life. I got diagnosed two years ago and questioned the diagnosis for a while, but the more I learn and the more shared experiences I see, the more I’m beginning to understand myself.
I’ve not (yet) been officially diagnosed ADHD but generally very interested in various topics of the neurodivergent spectrum- stumbled across Dr. Hallowell‘s book more or less by accident and what I learned there especially about the TPN and DMN in our brains was so mind boggling.. I feel like so many things in my 39- year long life now finally make sense.
Thank you so much for your work, Doctor! And you too of course Jessica.
Much love from Germany.
This was extremely education and enlightening, thank you! One of the ways I worked on my mental catastrophizing before bed when I was trying to sleep was to tell myself "If you're going to imagine the worst outcome of a situation, you can imagine other outcomes too" and I would try to think about the best way it could go, or the most unlikely outcome, or what if everyone had superpowers, and that made it much more interesting and easier to put my imagination to work on something less depressing.
A new take on "Inside you, there are two wolves." I love it!
Makes so, so much sense! I have to admit, I was crying when I watched it yesterday. Explains so many things and lifts a dark heavy load from our shoulders and souls!
Love you both, Jessica and Dr. Ned! 💗
Same here!
OMG!! This has been the HARDEST thing to deal with for the past 6 months or so!!! It's been driving me crazy at night so I can't fall asleep. Thank you for saying it's a real thing!! I thought all the worry was just another kind of depression. Thank you so much for these ideas to deal with it!!! I have been singing a song or turning on VERY loud sound machine sounds to distract me. Glad to know I'm not crazy!!!
Great video! Such an important topic. Reminds me of when I was learning about Buddhism and the Five Hindrances: Doubt, Ill-will, Restlessness and Worry/Remorse, Sensory desires, Sloth/Torpor/Lethargy/Apathy. When I'm really actively meditating consistently, noticing these through the day and investigating them became a way to stimulate and maybe move out of the DMN and hopefully reprogram it to be less hostile.
One thing I heard years ago to distract yourself from obtrusive thoughts is to play a quick round of Tetris! That engages your brain in such a way that it can even be used when you're nibbly hungry but know it's not time to eat.
Understanding this is gonna help me get myself out of some dark places i'm going through. This channel has helped me so much with my ADHD, got diagnosed recently and was so hard to make family and friends understand how hard can be to me to control what has my attention and how to stop myself from focusing just in one thing.
Okay so I used this trick a lot when I was younger and if you feel like you are drowning in the demon, try this:
Just go outside! Walk to a local forest, just walk until you feel better! And if walking doesn't make it better, RUN!!! Run as fast as you can, cry while doing it, make it dramatic, and I'll assure you you will feel so much better after. After the dramatic run, you can walk around and just notice the world around you. Listen to the birds, look at the different flowers people have in their garden. You will calm down and feel more clear. It really works!
Exercise is hands down the best "medicine" for ADHD I've ever had. It can absolutely stop those feelings for a while. If you exercise everyday it gets even better. I know one tool doesn't work for everyone but it should be on everyone's toolbelt.
Cool thing is if you plant more native keystone species, especially trees in your area, you can get more birds and biodiversity.
Movement litterally stimulates both the motor area of the brain with dopamine and also the attention and memory component of it.
I would love to. but it is simply not safe for a woman to be alone here.
I am not in a location where I can walk very far and I am disabled which means I have limited mobility. Running is not an option. Walking is difficult. So, I'm kind of screwed.
I cannot stand the memories of my pets deaths. I made the decision to have my best friend put to sleep and everytime the memory boils up, Im absolutely wrecked for hours.
This video could not have come at a better time for me. I've been struggling with this very thing today and it has been debilitating. I already feel better after watching this video and having had the process explained. I'm gonna go find something creative to do now. Thank you for posting this today. ❤
Also, although you do sound tired from being a new momma, you look radiant and stunning! ✨️
This is the most accurate description of what I go through Ive ever heard. Incredible.
6:40 I feel this is why I sometimes have a clearer mind after I watch horror movies, because I purposefully make myself scared so that the DMN doesn't do it for me.
As a linguist, I also love the symmetry of the word "demon" because the original Ancient Greek word "daimon" (δαίμων) is a more neutral word for a spiritual being who watches over you, whether good or bad. But because we now use "demon" only for bad spirits, we usually use "daimon" when talking about the good ones, by contrast.
It kind of reminds me how the trick to shutting of the DMN is to re-engage the TPN. It's kinda like, putting it poetically, turning the demon into a daimon.
I distract with youtube videos... I can even chose how long I want to do this for because I can see how long the video will be.... Helps me a lot when I don't have the energy to do something more active, physically or otherwise.
This is one of the most powerful and meaningful episodes I've watched yet. I have been dealing with this for so long. Thank you so much for the work you do. Congrats on that new baby.
The DMN is so much easier to believe because it is our own voice we hear telling us these things. The song “first place I go” by Avi Kaplan embodies the lies our brains tell us and is so helpful for me to shift, as he sings the lines “close your mouth don’t speak those lies”. It reminds me to focus on what I can control, rather than the things I cannot, like the past.
All of your videos are so good and so helpful, and this is one of the best you've ever done. DMN is new information for me, and it's a game-changer. Life changing, maybe. I will watch this on repeat. Thank you, and thank you Dr. Hallowell!
Love how you soften Tragedy.
Before knowing this about ADHD, I always said that my imagination was a two edged sword, so brilliant, yet so frightening.
"The going gets tough and the tough goes shopping" 😂 his side comments are top notch. This is such an incredible video ❤
Oh, I so needed this. When the Demon gets really bad, I plug in my favorite band (Twenty One Pilots) and sing my head off. There is literally no other music in the world that shuts up the Demon and locks it back in it's room.
21 pilots is great music, and a great distraction ❤
I label my tasks as follows :
Short and sweet
Medium and simple
Medium and complex
Long and complex
Long and boaring
This way i can judge not only based on time but also complexity . This helps me ajust things based on my current attention span and executive function skills , to effectively complete tasks
You are literally shining Jessica, you look so happy and calm!! ♥☀ Congrats with your little one, and thank you so much for all your amazing video's and the help you gave me the past 8 years!
All the love for you and your family!
Thank you so much for the video! 💗
7:02 "We torture ourselves because it's stimulating"
*Tricks* 🧠🦋
8:12 *1) Recognize it when it's happening*
8:22 *2) Shut it off (by switching your attention)*
9:11 "It's always convincing. Don't try to argue against it. It's the devil".
9:48 Do something creative (call a friend, bake a cake, write an e- mail, etc. ) show it you're the boss.
11:50 "The most wonderful gift we have is our imagination, we the most horrible curse we have is our imagination".
13:30 The thing you do must be stimulating enough . The demon is powerful.
13:43 3) *Never Worry alone*
14:12 Reduces toxic worry
Feel less vulnerable
14:14 *The two key variables that create worry:*
A heightened feeling of vulnerability and a diminished feeling of power and control.
So THAT’S why my brain immediately calms down when I read the kids a book in the midst of a negative spiral. I absolutely love this trick. I think I’ll start keeping a good book in the kitchen where my anxiety seems to get the worse. Thank you!
ADHD is a career maker.
I'm realizing more and more how desperate for stimulation I've been for such a long time. I feel like I've been stuck in a haze for years now, in no small part because I'm too anxious to go out and properly seek stimulation.
I know I need it, I desperately crave it, but asking people to meet up, going to work out, creating something, spending money, even just talking to some stranger in an online game, it feels like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff. And I know logically it will be fine, I've jumped before and I'm better for it, but the logical brain just can't overpower that deep terror.
Its easier to just doom scroll and eat garbage says the brain. Easier to be numb.
Hey, if you ever figure out how to get past this, let me know. I'm stuck here too.
@@TheXellosame here, that’s how I found this video
Boy I have had those dark days and toughed them out for months at a time.
Doc: "what can the brain not live without? Oxygen and glucose, and how you shut those off??"
My brain: "YOU STOP BREATHING!!!"
Doc: "...you switch your atention so you no longer feed the demon"
My brain: "THAT WORKS TOOO!!!"
Lmao same thought, “hold my breath?! Brilliant!”
😂 this hit so hard.
I genuinely thought "stop breathing" was going to be the next thing out of his mouth and I was genuinely excited to learn about how I could stop intrusive thoughts by holding my breath. Low key disappointed that was not the case 😅
I thought that too. 😂
Nya thanks for the video, i need more content with this man.
That most of us are told awful things about ourselves by multiple sources all our lives surely has a part in this equation?!
I personally find getting down to work the hardest thing for me to do.
One thing that helps me is to remind myself that, on average, it takes 22 minutes to focus (I believe for neurotypical individual). So, when I get frustrated that its hard for me to focus, I keep a timer and make sure I'm not prematurely giving up 👍 If I’m having trouble, though, I try focusing for 10-15 min, take a 5 min break, then add five minutes to my focusing time and do that up to 25 min. This tapering effect typically helps me get going.
However, I know things will spiral when I start to get frustrated because I ruminate on self-punishing thoughts. Thank you for posting this video!!! It is so helpful 🙌
My rumination is devastating to me. I feel like I could do so much more if it wasn't holding me back.
My Mom passed away in December, and grief has become my demon. This has been very insightful and hopefully will be another tool for me in my recovery.
Thats just it, just keep trying, it wears away after much consistency.
I feel like this advice can be upsetting if not treated with care. Whilst I'm sure it works, it almost seems like a 'just ignore it' type of solution.
Not saying it's bad advice or unfounded, just that surely there has to be more to it? When you have a whole host of other issues that come with ADHD, like cPTSD or executive function challenges, is really 'go do something else, something engaging and don't listen' really the best advice we have?
I've been trying to fight this demon for decades, to just be told I need to focus and concentrate on something else that's engaging (a monumental regulatory task for ADHDers, and an especially larger mountain when your demon is so big you've lost all sense of who you are) feels a bit like being told I'm never going to escape this hell unless I push myself into a coffee/amphetamine fueled burnout 😢
One tactic for helping kids with rumination is to set a certain time to talk about it. For example, if a child is consistently worried about tornadoes and talking about it anytime they're anxious hasn't helped, saying 'let's save talking about tornadoes for 7-8pm' may help the kid focus the rest of the time. Parenting your brain like that may help (I haven't tried it yet).
Thank you Jessica! Again, you hit a home run. I took a quick shower after watching it. Then I watched it two more times!! Great for my 51 year old adhd brain and my 14 and 9 year old kids brains 🧠. I will show this to my husband’s 45 year old brain when he returns from work. ❤❤❤❤
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly
I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.@@LucyFernandez628
@@Rogerseegren271Does he deliver to various locations?
Yeah, hi, I've had this video on my to-do list for a week. I ended up listening to a bunch of videos on a day off because I couldn't get the energy to do anything else productive. And hearing "ADHD people torture themselves as a form of stimulation" is going to haunt my waking hours for the rest of the week.
Watch at 1.5x speed for you ADHD'ers
So I'm not the only one.
Yeah no, that just turns it into random irritating noise. Sped up talking being hard to concentrate on is also the main reason I can't watch many yt shorts in one sitting. With some TH-camrs, I even play their stuff back at 0.75x cos they just speak too damn fast 😅
You are my hero for this suggestion! I'm going to try this with other videos as well.
@@infernalstan886 Same!! I especially like 0.85x. I used to be able to follow at normal speed, I'm not sure what changed. Coincidentally, this started happening since I started being more mindful!
Fun thing is - I had the video at 0.75x at first without really realizing, and Jessica sounded perfectly. Then as the doc started to speak, it was soooo slow I had to turn it up to 85! :') Some people are just naturally quick speakers!
i am
This is a constant struggle for me as well. Thank you for this. Love content like this to help provide new tools i can use to shut it down.
2:46 - *you're
Looks like it's been fixed. Good catch!
I cried watching this and I am so thankful for this information 😭🙏
I’m a musician and my playing, teaching and performance modes are the few times i actually feel ‘free’ from this demon…im trying to make exercise and meditation also large parts of my daily routine cause this problem is really huge…✊🏽
Big hugs one of the biggest problems with middle management is the division of tasks. And Yes anyone had taken care of a child will realize that they need more stimulus and exposure to live to let them learn about life so they can learn to regulate their emotions to that stimulus. And teach them how to deal with people who are going to tick them off. Love the video . And let's teach our respect for other people and how to work things out with each other.❤
This is like the best video on AdHD Internet can offer.
Thanks you so much 🙏🏾
This rings so true to my experience of ADHD and explains the coexistence of BDD too. I've found attention training from MCT incredibly helpful in retraining my focus to be 'external'.
Yoga and meditation helped me 7 years later, still going strong ❤
Just jump in to say 100% hands down recommend Sunsama as an ADHDer
I remember watching this video and thinking "why does 'Dr. Hallowell' sound familliar?"
Today, I found a little book in my shelf called "Driven to Distraction". This guy is one of the authors. He literally wrote THE ADHD book!