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In my late 30's, I met a guy who I fell hard for. He would not commit. I wracked my brain trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. The only wrong thing I did back then, was stay in that mess for 4 long years. One day, I had enough of being miserable every single day. Packed my bags and moved thousands of miles away. Best thing I ever did for myself. I went back to school, focused on my career, and learned how to love and enjoy being by myself. I am now in my 70's and life is wonderful.
I’m crying with you around minute 5:30. I lost three years of my life to a man that never had the intention to actually show up for me or even do the bare minimum, after the first 3 months he stopped putting effort. He completely wasted my time with excuses, love bombing and false promises. Then had the audacity to go off on me and call me names when I finally decided to move on with someone who truly appreciates me. Still recovering from that trauma.
I'm so sorry, Mariana. This is something I don't want any woman to experience ever. It truly breaks my heart just thinking about this pain. I hope you were able to dig in deeper within yourself to understand why you got interested in that man in the first place. I'm so happy you've found someone who appreciates you ❤️
I'm a man going exactly through the same experience. This also happens with the opposite gender, like A LOT. 2 years I have wasted, lots of money on therapy. This is I think the most demoralizing experience I have ever lived. These people make you feel feel unworthy, trash, with questions about the reality of your world. I can't forgive this kind of people. I hope they burn in hell for what they do. I DEFINITELY learned my lesson. NEVER be with a married man or woman. It will bring hell to your world. I'm still recovering as I gained courage to end things. And if someone is reading this trust me, even after divorce, if it happens, they won't chose you. Run from them ans invest in yourself. These people are mentally damaged.
Thank you, you have helped me. I have been involved with a separated man on and off for the past four years. His wife lives in another state. They are staying married so they wont lose their pension money. Enough is enough. I have blocked him and am on a journey to heal.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but I'm also so happy you decided to block him. A few things to consider. Please, be patient with yourself. This bond is not easy to break. I remember blocking someone and then unblocking him and falling into the same cycle. Please be kind to yourself if you find yourself making a few steps backwards. I'm also very happy for you. You have so many fun things ahead of you that don't involve someone who can never truly choose you. This is your new beginning 😍 Thank you so much for watching and for taking the time to leave this comment. Means a lot x
I'm a betrayed wife. My husband also had multiple affairs. Not only did he lie to me, but to these other women as well. He has since ended his affairs. One woman still tries to reach out to him from time to time. I think if she knew how he used her, she would stop and just go on with her life. When my husband travelled he would often sleep with a sex worker one night and her the next. He led her on to believe he loved her. I don't think she had any idea what was actually going on. Any woman considering having an affair with a married man should be aware that a man who lies to his wife, will almost certainly lie to you as well. As women we should have each other's backs, not stab each other in the back, because, sadly, I have not known many men who treat women with the respect and dignity we deserve.
Hi Elizabeth.. This absolutely breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been. You're right. Women should stick together. That's why I'd like to ask you a personal question if you don't mind. If one of your husband's lovers called or sent you a message on social media about his affairs, would you have believed? And do you think that the other woman should ever tell a wife or do you think it's up to her to find out? And if I don't hear from you, I hope you come across more men that treat women right because they are out there. Trust me ❤️
@@IevaKambarovaite On one side I think I would have appreciated someone at least, having been honest with me! However, in some some ways it seems to have worked out for the best. (Of course, the story is not over. Perhaps my husband will cheat again, and then I'll leave) Since I was in the dark until my youngest was 14, my children had a mostly wonderful childhood. I found out about my husband's affairs 2 years after he stopped. It has come out in therapy that my he some pretty dramatic experiences with women as a teen and young adult. This may have led to how he went on the behave as an adult. Life is complicated! This may sound naive, but sometimes I feel God has put me in my husband's life for a reason. Even if he is unable to heal, and I am forced to leave him, I hope to always be his friend.
@@IevaKambarovaite I thought I had replied earlier, but I think it didn't go through. If someone would have reached out, I probably would have believed. Every now and then things were....off. Should the "other woman" say something....that is so tricky. Depends on her motives, which I would imagine would be to ultimately get the married man. You probably know this, only about 5% of married men leave their wives for the affair partner. My husband would have never left me for most of his partners, and the one he would have left me for, had she been attracted to him, almost certainly would not have worked out. That said, I was dealing with a serial cheater, and serial cheating speaks to a larger problem. My husband, and I'm willing to bet most men, crave a partner he can feel safe with. If a woman is willing to enter a relationship that's based on a lie, why should she be trusted?
Thank you so much for sharing that with me. It sounds that you've been through a lot and it's a never ending discovery. Relationships are complicated. It's not just black and white. I love that you're able to focus on your family and look for the good in your husband and the relationship you have. It's a big sacrifice. I wish you all the best.
Unfortunately, people fall in love with who they fall in love with. "Married man" sounds like "bought and paid for." I do not think marriage can control such happenings, neither can a false sense of "sisterhood." When relationships end, they simply do. If the man cheats, that relationship is over. Humanity would fare better if it could acknowledge this simple truth.
Speaking on behalf of someone who had a relationship with a married family-man over a few years, he fitted her in as and when it suited him, had no intentions of giving any more to the relationship after buying her a meal initially, he was around 40 and she a teenager when they first met...meeting other genuine men proved difficult for her to maintain until eventually she did meet someone...
I can see why a young girl would be easily impressed by someone who's double her age. That can negatively shape how she views men based on that experience. I hope she found a way to overcome it and understands that not all men are like that, some are truly honest, honourable and respectful.
I really like the point #3. It’s so easy to slip into thinking… all women are the same… all men are the same… and it’s not true. The are plenty of people with good morals and values.
The issue is, is that these women know exactly who they are getting with. A married man by definition is unavailable, regardless of what he says. Don’t engage with a man that is married. These things are not a game, they are not a competition, there are no winners. Just stay away from married anyone.
@@ConveyApp the problem is these men are brilliant at what they say and how they draw you in. Unfortunately you don't always know exactly who you are getting with. If you did then most affairs would not be happening. Woman are not stupid but we trust and fall in love without verifying.
I was in a relationship with a man 15 yrs older than me he lied about everything. His name, his age, i was 20 and have adhd and couldnt and still cant gauge peoples ages correctly so i took him at his word, he was married. Its not always the womens fault
Edit: this only is in my case: Even after being in a 10-year relationship with a married man, hoping he’d choose me, I’ve learned that everything has a purpose. Even when things didn’t turn out the way I’d imagined, I can still see the value in those years. He was a part of my life, and still, it was love. Not the love I’d hoped for, maybe, but it shaped me, taught me, and made me who I am today. I cherish those moments, the good and the bad, and understand now that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, it’s not about being chosen, but about the journey and what you take from it. ❤i love your video. Great advice
In my late 20’s and fallen hard for an emotionally unavailable man for 2 years now. I cant believe how long I have held on for that messy arrangement when I already saw the signs as early as the first date. Tons of sleepless nights after i thought i was over when he left the island. Cut communication for awhile but eventually rekindled, and I had hope that maybe this can still get better. He came back to visit the island for 9 days and I just knew something’s going to go down. He hasn’t changed even after we have decided to take exclusivity in the picture. I am done. So done. Blocked him everywhere. He’s left the island again and I could only hope i dont hear from him or see him before I fully heal. Still in pain though but…managing.
I am so happy I found your video and books.Maybe I can finally break out of this relationship.I love him but I am 65 now and deserve someone to love me the way I deserve.Im tired of lies, cheating, etc.
It's so horrible. I only met him once a month in hotels when he was travelling and talked quite a lot on messenger but even that was enough to develop an emotional bond and keep me in this limbo of not being able to have the self esteem to pursue a real relationship. I didn't know he was married first and then it was too late after I got addicted. Just did whatever he wanted. Much older man as well and fairly well known succesful. Im sure he knew what he was doing in some ways but I take responsbility for my part. I was really alone and had no self respect. Restricted him seeing me online etc and hope to never talk to him again but still part of me wants him to message me again to see if he cares. I know its really messed up... Started seeing therapist about it. Will defintley block him unless he deletes me now.
Thank you. I’ve been in this relationship for 2.5 years and trying really hard to break up now. I feel depressed, drained, used, disappointed, guilty. I feel guilty every day. But I try to keep reminding myself that he didn’t choose me, so I have to choose myself as well.
I feel so much guilt for continuing on with him after I found out he was married AND lying about his identity to hide that fact. (I found out the same day we went shopping for housewares for the home we'd share.) That betrayal broke me, and I demanded that he put me back the way he found me. I was in so much pain I didn't realize that that made no sense. It's been over a year since I ended our relationship, and 8 months since we last spoke. I moved and blocked him on everything. But a few weeks ago his wife popped up on my FYP. I was floored. It multiplied my guilt times a million. I hadn't seen her face since I found out his real name and Googled him. But it was for sure her. Now the guilt eats away at me. Idk how to get past it.
I have had an obsession with a married man once for a few years....they are never available ....finally I'm slowly healing... So great to have watched your video
Ofcourse they aren’t available. They are married! Learn about limerence and traumabonds. It can help with your healing journey and start therapy if you are getting obsessed with unavailble people. You could be an avoidant yourself. I always thought I was anxiously attached, when my therapist told me I was FA, I didn’t believe her for like 8 months. When I started dating again, I could see what she meant. I believe her now
@@Tiffany90-gb2md yes. You get anxious with an avoidant but avoidant with an anxious. If you always think “I’m never attracted to the ones who are attracted to me” you likely are FA. It’s the worst attachment style of them all. So if you are one, better start working on it sooner than later
Im a wife and my husband cheated for 30 years and counting. Ladies a married man is always going to LIE about how horrible his wife is and crazy. Think about it, maybe she is like that for a reason. I never understood why women would hate on me when all i wanted was to live my life with my family.
I grew up in a household where I witnessed infidelity and I always wondered as a child why these women couldn't understand that this man is married and why wouldn't they just leave him alone. Calling him, flirting.. That was my interpretation. Took me years to learn to trust women. How do you cope with it? How do you explain what's happening to your children?
My genuine question is - if you know your husband is having an affair and doesn’t want to spend time at home, why are you still married or with him? Genuinely curious. I am still healing from a relationship with a married man who was not a bad person. He was my best friend. His wife knew we were having an affair but she refused to leave because she is financially tied to him. He is a coward, she is a bully. It was all too much so I ended it but yea, why would you stay if there is no more love? I never understood that.
@@lingy74why would you feel worthy of being the other woman is the real question you should ask yourself, not why a WIFE choses to stay. Respect yourself more, don’t be so desperate
Me too 33 years married still 5yesrs living apart separated. He’s still the same I am 55 and new freedom and thankfulness are here for me and Yes I need divorce final will be easy he’s so non communicative so I take action. I have forgiven myself for many wrong choices. God reminds me I’m the clay and He’s the potter 😂 ❤ thank you so much for sharing
Thank you so much for watching. What did you find helpful in this video? It helps me to understand what works, so then I can create more videos like that 😊💖
Can I ask a question on here? What if the man immediately filed for divorce from his wife (yes, she was "crazy") after one month? And he did say she was threatening to send one of the kids to China and that she had not physically touched him in years even though he works 10 hours a day and does the cooking and cleaning. (I had asked him to tell me one good quality about his wife and he refused, wouldn't even buy her flowers on Mother's Day which I thought said a lot. Then, later he admitted that she "drives the kids around all day and is a devoted mom and doesn't run around on him." He put an ultimatum on me to give him hope for the future or he was going to halt the divorce and stay married for the kids. I did not want to be the reason, so I backed away. He blamed me for spending time with male friends, etc. when in reality I was just trying to distract myself from heartbreak because I loved him very much and had never been in love before. He said he would love me forever and "never let love turn to hate," but months later when I talked to him, he was cold and cruel and angry and hateful and blamed me for everything. He maligned my character and made me sound awful. Sadly, I regretted it and wished that I had let him go through with the divorce. I highlighted the positive aspects of him and the relationship and forgot the negative because of the love I felt. No one ever loved me that way before. I feel the situation is unique because I actually saw the divorce papers, and he planned to ask me to marry him right before I backed away, he said. Not to mention he rushed into doing that because my male best friend and roommate of six years went crazy after I told him I loved someone else, contacted him and told him we were together and that he was planning to tell his wife.:( So I think he rushed so she would not find out about me. I might as well mention that this was just from tutoring English at a coffee shop and saying, "I love you." I did not sleep with him during the whole time, although I kissed him, which was a mistake. What a mess! I wish I had just said no in the beginning before feelings got deeper. Can someone give me sound advice without judging me? Like really kind advice please. The worse part is that I am older, I had not dated in 15 years, and I was ignoring that part of my life and heart. Through that and a bunch of other trauma this year, I am actually in the middle of a mental breakdown. I feel that recovery could be a long way away if at all (so many reasons for that believe me), so I should have married someone I loved even though the life would not have been what I wanted, we shared different morals, etc. If I'm sick, no one will want to marry me. Also, my heart has completely shut down after this. My life blew up here (had to move out of my place) because of the break up with my male friend and subsequent community, I can barely keep my part time job. He lost nothing. He said he is not leaving his family now and that the love isn't there like before or the motivation and his kids need him. Also that he can't trust me because I "had so many boyfriends" which is laughable. Why does he hate me then if I helped him make the right decision?Can I ask a question on here? What if the man immediately filed for divorce from his wife (yes, she was "crazy") after one month? And he did say she was threatening to send one of the kids to China and that she had not physically touched him in years even though he works 10 hours a day and does the cooking and cleaning. (I had asked him to tell me one good quality about his wife and he refused, wouldn't even buy her flowers on Mother's Day which I thought said a lot. Then, later he admitted that she "drives the kids around all day and is a devoted mom and doesn't run around on him." He put an ultimatum on me to give him hope for the future or he was going to halt the divorce and stay married for the kids. I did not want to be the reason, so I backed away. He blamed me for spending time with male friends, etc. when in reality I was just trying to distract myself from heartbreak because I loved him very much and had never been in love before. He said he would love me forever and "never let love turn to hate," but months later when I talked to him, he was cold and cruel and angry and hateful and blamed me for everything. He maligned my character and made me sound awful. Sadly, I regretted it and wished that I had let him go through with the divorce. I highlighted the positive aspects of him and the relationship and forgot the negative because of the love I felt. No one ever loved me that way before. I feel the situation is unique because I actually saw the divorce papers, and he planned to ask me to marry him right before I backed away, he said. Not to mention he rushed into doing that because my male best friend and roommate of six years went crazy after I told him I loved someone else, contacted him and told him we were together and that he was planning to tell his wife.:( So I think he rushed so she would not find out about me. I might as well mention that this was just from tutoring English at a coffee shop and saying, "I love you." I did not sleep with him during the whole time, although I kissed him, which was a mistake. What a mess! I wish I had just said no in the beginning before feelings got deeper. Can someone give me sound advice without judging me? Like really kind advice please. The worse part is that I am older, I had not dated in 15 years, and I was ignoring that part of my life and heart. Through that and a bunch of other trauma this year, I am actually in the middle of a mental breakdown. I feel that recovery could be a long way away if at all (so many reasons for that believe me), so I should have married someone I loved even though the life would not have been what I wanted, we shared different morals, etc. If I'm sick, no one will want to marry me. Also, my heart has completely shut down after this. My life blew up here (had to move out of my place) because of the break up with my male friend and subsequent community, I can barely keep my part time job. He lost nothing. He said he is not leaving his family now and that the love isn't there like before or the motivation and his kids need him. Also that he can't trust me because I "had so many boyfriends" which is laughable. Why does he hate me then if I helped him make the right decision?
I was actually married and the ex wife just walked away....just became unhappy bcuz she fell for someone else. Fell 'in love" and unilaterally decided that me nor our family was worth fighting for Ish happens i guess, but j.s. that wasn't just a waste of time, but even a bigger waste of time (including court) and a ton of resources. Both might be a waste of time, but getting divorced is actually worse i think bcuz at least in situationships you can simply walk away when you're ready.
It wasn't behind the window. I just filmed it vertically and when I cut it the quality was so poor, so it kind of looks like behind the window 😁 now you know my biggest cinematography tricks 🤭
Stop seeking harmful relationships, how many times do you women need to hear this from "True guys" and not "bad boys". You keep throwing away The true ones for bad ones.
I agree, that's why I use the term "True Guy" instead of "The Nice Guy" because The "bad boy" will use Niceness to deceive, manipulate women. They only seek 1 thing and could care less about anything else. They play games. The True Guy simply seeks his diamond so to speak, he cares of nothing else. He is loyal, faithful, seeks equal in partnership yet exalts his woman while remaining Masculine (protective). Women are now becoming the men and that hurts The True Guy as The true Guy loves his feminine woman. It's a mess for sure. There should be no struggle, if you can't stand abuse/use leave and don't look back. Think with logic and not emotions. Women need to really research and learn who the guy they're with is and vice versa. You'll learn the True Ones thru time and yes they exist. I was a true Guy (I still am) so here's what to look for: A true Guy seeks 1) Heart, 2) Loyalty/Faithful,Trust Worthy, 3) Personality, 4) Intelligence, 5) Looks ( "A perfect 10" not required), 6) Energy/Fun, 7) Togetherness/Partnership etc....notice the 1 thing not mentioned that the "Bad Boy" only seeks, That comes Later with the above mentioned--The True Guy will seek for his "Diamond" and nothing more for nothing else matters to him. There are many guys like this but they're the ones who get hurt so to speak. So they walk away. 8) If the girl/woman he seeks to partner with, if she has a troubled past or Trauma (use/abuse) He will look her in the face and tell her to unleash her issues on him, he will try to absorb her issues, comfort her, yet set Boundries to stay away from what will hurt her so she can start healing and getting a clear mind and 9) He will have no issues showing all of his social media accounts and phone usage to her but will expect the same in return. Hope this helps to anyone who sees this.
I just wasted 8 years of my life with this married man. He has just broke it off. I’m hurt and feel betrayed. For the consequence of what he has done, should I expose him to his wife?
No, because think about it: she’s the one who has to live with a disgusting man. She’s already paying the price big time because even if she doesn’t know, she is feeling things aren’t right. Count yourself blessed to be rid of such a disgusting man! Turn to Jesus now and live a good life free of adultery, lies and fornication.
I broke it off a month ago of 7 yrs. I couldn't do it anymore. I miss him every day but try so hard not to contact him, and sometimes i think the same should i tell his wife. Never thought i would be the other women. I cry myself to sleep most nights. I fell in love with something that never was real but was real to me. Its very painful. Doing my best to move on. I dont wish this on anyone.
What about your accountability knowing that the man has a wife and a family,hoping he dumps them for you. Of course he is a scumbag having an affair with a scumbag.Why would a scumbag choose another scumbag. Wishful thinking
Definitely not. And guess what? As painful as that experience was, it also got me to the place where I am now. I'm in a great relationship with a man that truly adores me. How about you?
*What have you found the most soothing when going through a breakup? Please tell me*
WATCH NEXT: 7 reasons Why you keep attracting Married men / Unavailable guys
th-cam.com/video/VQiC07uh4to/w-d-xo.html
💜 WHY AM I STILL SINGLE book for women here: amzn.to/2WKtPHE
💜 HOW TO GET LAID NOW book for men: amzn.to/2KxFeGk
In my late 30's, I met a guy who I fell hard for. He would not commit. I wracked my brain trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. The only wrong thing I did back then, was stay in that mess for 4 long years.
One day, I had enough of being miserable every single day. Packed my bags and moved thousands of miles away. Best thing I ever did for myself. I went back to school, focused on my career, and learned how to love and enjoy being by myself. I am now in my 70's and life is wonderful.
I’m crying with you around minute 5:30. I lost three years of my life to a man that never had the intention to actually show up for me or even do the bare minimum, after the first 3 months he stopped putting effort. He completely wasted my time with excuses, love bombing and false promises. Then had the audacity to go off on me and call me names when I finally decided to move on with someone who truly appreciates me. Still recovering from that trauma.
I'm so sorry, Mariana. This is something I don't want any woman to experience ever. It truly breaks my heart just thinking about this pain.
I hope you were able to dig in deeper within yourself to understand why you got interested in that man in the first place.
I'm so happy you've found someone who appreciates you ❤️
Good for you for having the courage to move on!!! Wishing you the best.
I'm a man going exactly through the same experience. This also happens with the opposite gender, like A LOT. 2 years I have wasted, lots of money on therapy. This is I think the most demoralizing experience I have ever lived. These people make you feel feel unworthy, trash, with questions about the reality of your world. I can't forgive this kind of people. I hope they burn in hell for what they do. I DEFINITELY learned my lesson. NEVER be with a married man or woman. It will bring hell to your world. I'm still recovering as I gained courage to end things. And if someone is reading this trust me, even after divorce, if it happens, they won't chose you. Run from them ans invest in yourself. These people are mentally damaged.
They won't choose you if they never respected you.
Glad you were able to take control…
Thank you, you have helped me. I have been involved with a separated man on and off for the past four years. His wife lives in another state. They are staying married so they wont lose their pension money. Enough is enough. I have blocked him and am on a journey to heal.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this, but I'm also so happy you decided to block him.
A few things to consider.
Please, be patient with yourself. This bond is not easy to break.
I remember blocking someone and then unblocking him and falling into the same cycle. Please be kind to yourself if you find yourself making a few steps backwards.
I'm also very happy for you. You have so many fun things ahead of you that don't involve someone who can never truly choose you. This is your new beginning 😍
Thank you so much for watching and for taking the time to leave this comment. Means a lot x
I'm a betrayed wife. My husband also had multiple affairs. Not only did he lie to me, but to these other women as well. He has since ended his affairs. One woman still tries to reach out to him from time to time. I think if she knew how he used her, she would stop and just go on with her life. When my husband travelled he would often sleep with a sex worker one night and her the next. He led her on to believe he loved her. I don't think she had any idea what was actually going on. Any woman considering having an affair with a married man should be aware that a man who lies to his wife, will almost certainly lie to you as well. As women we should have each other's backs, not stab each other in the back, because, sadly, I have not known many men who treat women with the respect and dignity we deserve.
Hi Elizabeth.. This absolutely breaks my heart. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been. You're right. Women should stick together.
That's why I'd like to ask you a personal question if you don't mind. If one of your husband's lovers called or sent you a message on social media about his affairs, would you have believed?
And do you think that the other woman should ever tell a wife or do you think it's up to her to find out?
And if I don't hear from you, I hope you come across more men that treat women right because they are out there. Trust me ❤️
@@IevaKambarovaite On one side I think I would have appreciated someone at least, having been honest with me! However, in some some ways it seems to have worked out for the best. (Of course, the story is not over. Perhaps my husband will cheat again, and then I'll leave) Since I was in the dark until my youngest was 14, my children had a mostly wonderful childhood. I found out about my husband's affairs 2 years after he stopped. It has come out in therapy that my he some pretty dramatic experiences with women as a teen and young adult. This may have led to how he went on the behave as an adult. Life is complicated! This may sound naive, but sometimes I feel God has put me in my husband's life for a reason. Even if he is unable to heal, and I am forced to leave him, I hope to always be his friend.
@@IevaKambarovaite I thought I had replied earlier, but I think it didn't go through. If someone would have reached out, I probably would have believed. Every now and then things were....off. Should the "other woman" say something....that is so tricky. Depends on her motives, which I would imagine would be to ultimately get the married man. You probably know this, only about 5% of married men leave their wives for the affair partner. My husband would have never left me for most of his partners, and the one he would have left me for, had she been attracted to him, almost certainly would not have worked out. That said, I was dealing with a serial cheater, and serial cheating speaks to a larger problem. My husband, and I'm willing to bet most men, crave a partner he can feel safe with. If a woman is willing to enter a relationship that's based on a lie, why should she be trusted?
Thank you so much for sharing that with me. It sounds that you've been through a lot and it's a never ending discovery. Relationships are complicated. It's not just black and white. I love that you're able to focus on your family and look for the good in your husband and the relationship you have. It's a big sacrifice. I wish you all the best.
Unfortunately, people fall in love with who they fall in love with.
"Married man" sounds like "bought and paid for." I do not think marriage can control such happenings, neither can a false sense of "sisterhood." When relationships end, they simply do. If the man cheats, that relationship is over. Humanity would fare better if it could acknowledge this simple truth.
Speaking on behalf of someone who had a relationship with a married family-man over a few years, he fitted her in as and when it suited him, had no intentions of giving any more to the relationship after buying her a meal initially, he was around 40 and she a teenager when they first met...meeting other genuine men proved difficult for her to maintain until eventually she did meet someone...
I can see why a young girl would be easily impressed by someone who's double her age. That can negatively shape how she views men based on that experience. I hope she found a way to overcome it and understands that not all men are like that, some are truly honest, honourable and respectful.
I really like the point #3. It’s so easy to slip into thinking… all women are the same… all men are the same… and it’s not true. The are plenty of people with good morals and values.
Exactly! And you've found one just like that 🤗🥰 but you've done sooooo much work on yourself
@@IevaKambarovaite well… he also had to do a ton of work on himself to become this way 😋
The issue is, is that these women know exactly who they are getting with. A married man by definition is unavailable, regardless of what he says. Don’t engage with a man that is married. These things are not a game, they are not a competition, there are no winners. Just stay away from married anyone.
@@ConveyApp the problem is these men are brilliant at what they say and how they draw you in. Unfortunately you don't always know exactly who you are getting with. If you did then most affairs would not be happening.
Woman are not stupid but we trust and fall in love without verifying.
I was in a relationship with a man 15 yrs older than me he lied about everything. His name, his age, i was 20 and have adhd and couldnt and still cant gauge peoples ages correctly so i took him at his word, he was married. Its not always the womens fault
Edit: this only is in my case: Even after being in a 10-year relationship with a married man, hoping he’d choose me, I’ve learned that everything has a purpose. Even when things didn’t turn out the way I’d imagined, I can still see the value in those years. He was a part of my life, and still, it was love. Not the love I’d hoped for, maybe, but it shaped me, taught me, and made me who I am today. I cherish those moments, the good and the bad, and understand now that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, it’s not about being chosen, but about the journey and what you take from it.
❤i love your video. Great advice
In my late 20’s and fallen hard for an emotionally unavailable man for 2 years now. I cant believe how long I have held on for that messy arrangement when I already saw the signs as early as the first date. Tons of sleepless nights after i thought i was over when he left the island. Cut communication for awhile but eventually rekindled, and I had hope that maybe this can still get better. He came back to visit the island for 9 days and I just knew something’s going to go down. He hasn’t changed even after we have decided to take exclusivity in the picture. I am done. So done. Blocked him everywhere. He’s left the island again and I could only hope i dont hear from him or see him before I fully heal.
Still in pain though but…managing.
It takes strength to take back your life…Good Job!👍🏼
It’s so sad hearing your story about rereading his messages and deriving the sense of connection of you being online at the same time…
I know.. It is a little sad. This huge longing for love
Some men lie and say they are married just so they can’t have a relationship with you!
nah just so they can go be gay with their chauvinistic pals
I am so happy I found your video and books.Maybe I can finally break out of this relationship.I love him but I am 65 now and deserve someone to love me the way I deserve.Im tired of lies, cheating, etc.
Don't engage in adultery.....nothing good comes of it only pain. Find someone available and single.
This is the 1st day I made the decision to be finished, this video was so helpful, mentally for me. Thank you.
It's so horrible. I only met him once a month in hotels when he was travelling and talked quite a lot on messenger but even that was enough to develop an emotional bond and keep me in this limbo of not being able to have the self esteem to pursue a real relationship. I didn't know he was married first and then it was too late after I got addicted. Just did whatever he wanted. Much older man as well and fairly well known succesful. Im sure he knew what he was doing in some ways but I take responsbility for my part. I was really alone and had no self respect. Restricted him seeing me online etc and hope to never talk to him again but still part of me wants him to message me again to see if he cares. I know its really messed up... Started seeing therapist about it. Will defintley block him unless he deletes me now.
Thank you. I’ve been in this relationship for 2.5 years and trying really hard to break up now. I feel depressed, drained, used, disappointed, guilty. I feel guilty every day. But I try to keep reminding myself that he didn’t choose me, so I have to choose myself as well.
I feel so much guilt for continuing on with him after I found out he was married AND lying about his identity to hide that fact. (I found out the same day we went shopping for housewares for the home we'd share.) That betrayal broke me, and I demanded that he put me back the way he found me. I was in so much pain I didn't realize that that made no sense. It's been over a year since I ended our relationship, and 8 months since we last spoke. I moved and blocked him on everything. But a few weeks ago his wife popped up on my FYP. I was floored. It multiplied my guilt times a million. I hadn't seen her face since I found out his real name and Googled him. But it was for sure her. Now the guilt eats away at me. Idk how to get past it.
I have had an obsession with a married man once for a few years....they are never available ....finally I'm slowly healing... So great to have watched your video
Ofcourse they aren’t available. They are married! Learn about limerence and traumabonds. It can help with your healing journey and start therapy if you are getting obsessed with unavailble people. You could be an avoidant yourself. I always thought I was anxiously attached, when my therapist told me I was FA, I didn’t believe her for like 8 months. When I started dating again, I could see what she meant. I believe her now
@@Moe90ies thanks so much for your thoughts..does the FA stand for fearful avoidant...I will look into that
@@Tiffany90-gb2md yes. You get anxious with an avoidant but avoidant with an anxious. If you always think “I’m never attracted to the ones who are attracted to me” you likely are FA. It’s the worst attachment style of them all. So if you are one, better start working on it sooner than later
@@Moe90ies thanks so much..I'm FA for sure..I appreciate the feedback as I would never had known about it...
@@Tiffany90-gb2md your welcome. Therapy would help a lot. I honestly wouldn’t be able to date again if it weren’t for my therapists help and support
Scratches on mind are more painful due to breakup. It give tears throughout one's life.
Very true. But I also think those scars heal with time. I hope yours do
Men don’t care if they hurt you!
it sounds cruel - but the balance won't be restored until women start acting like men towards men in relationships
This is true. You must have your own life and never invest in a man’s life. Relationships are temporary. Life is short.
Sorry but this is crap. It's people, not only men! I've had a certain ammount of women and my experience is exactly the same.
Im a wife and my husband cheated for 30 years and counting. Ladies a married man is always going to LIE about how horrible his wife is and crazy. Think about it, maybe she is like that for a reason.
I never understood why women would hate on me when all i wanted was to live my life with my family.
I grew up in a household where I witnessed infidelity and I always wondered as a child why these women couldn't understand that this man is married and why wouldn't they just leave him alone. Calling him, flirting.. That was my interpretation. Took me years to learn to trust women.
How do you cope with it? How do you explain what's happening to your children?
A married jackass of 35 years thinks having a girlfriend out of state is Grand😭
My genuine question is - if you know your husband is having an affair and doesn’t want to spend time at home, why are you still married or with him? Genuinely curious.
I am still healing from a relationship with a married man who was not a bad person. He was my best friend. His wife knew we were having an affair but she refused to leave because she is financially tied to him. He is a coward, she is a bully. It was all too much so I ended it but yea, why would you stay if there is no more love? I never understood that.
They do it to justify their behavior. You are not crazy at all ❤
@@lingy74why would you feel worthy of being the other woman is the real question you should ask yourself, not why a WIFE choses to stay. Respect yourself more, don’t be so desperate
The roles can be reversed. This happens to men too… 7 years invested and not chosen to be their priority… I finally had enough and walked away.
You're very right. Chasing an unavailable partner isn't foreign to men either. 7 years is a long time.. What was it that made you finally walk away?
BTW, good analogy of falling on a frosty day!
Thank you darling 💕
I have been involved for 17 years off and on.I love your video.I have lost so much time.
Me too 33 years married still
5yesrs living apart separated. He’s still the same
I am 55 and new freedom and thankfulness are here for me and Yes I need divorce final will be easy he’s so non communicative so I take action. I have forgiven myself for many wrong choices. God reminds me I’m the clay and He’s the potter 😂 ❤ thank you so much for sharing
Great video, also you are so funny 😆
Hi. Thanks for watching 😊
This was so helpful! Thankyou so much for making it for us!❤❤
Thank you so much for watching. What did you find helpful in this video? It helps me to understand what works, so then I can create more videos like that 😊💖
Can I ask a question on here? What if the man immediately filed for divorce from his wife (yes, she was "crazy") after one month? And he did say she was threatening to send one of the kids to China and that she had not physically touched him in years even though he works 10 hours a day and does the cooking and cleaning. (I had asked him to tell me one good quality about his wife and he refused, wouldn't even buy her flowers on Mother's Day which I thought said a lot. Then, later he admitted that she "drives the kids around all day and is a devoted mom and doesn't run around on him." He put an ultimatum on me to give him hope for the future or he was going to halt the divorce and stay married for the kids. I did not want to be the reason, so I backed away. He blamed me for spending time with male friends, etc. when in reality I was just trying to distract myself from heartbreak because I loved him very much and had never been in love before. He said he would love me forever and "never let love turn to hate," but months later when I talked to him, he was cold and cruel and angry and hateful and blamed me for everything. He maligned my character and made me sound awful. Sadly, I regretted it and wished that I had let him go through with the divorce. I highlighted the positive aspects of him and the relationship and forgot the negative because of the love I felt. No one ever loved me that way before. I feel the situation is unique because I actually saw the divorce papers, and he planned to ask me to marry him right before I backed away, he said. Not to mention he rushed into doing that because my male best friend and roommate of six years went crazy after I told him I loved someone else, contacted him and told him we were together and that he was planning to tell his wife.:( So I think he rushed so she would not find out about me. I might as well mention that this was just from tutoring English at a coffee shop and saying, "I love you." I did not sleep with him during the whole time, although I kissed him, which was a mistake. What a mess! I wish I had just said no in the beginning before feelings got deeper. Can someone give me sound advice without judging me? Like really kind advice please. The worse part is that I am older, I had not dated in 15 years, and I was ignoring that part of my life and heart. Through that and a bunch of other trauma this year, I am actually in the middle of a mental breakdown. I feel that recovery could be a long way away if at all (so many reasons for that believe me), so I should have married someone I loved even though the life would not have been what I wanted, we shared different morals, etc. If I'm sick, no one will want to marry me. Also, my heart has completely shut down after this. My life blew up here (had to move out of my place) because of the break up with my male friend and subsequent community, I can barely keep my part time job. He lost nothing. He said he is not leaving his family now and that the love isn't there like before or the motivation and his kids need him. Also that he can't trust me because I "had so many boyfriends" which is laughable. Why does he hate me then if I helped him make the right decision?Can I ask a question on here? What if the man immediately filed for divorce from his wife (yes, she was "crazy") after one month? And he did say she was threatening to send one of the kids to China and that she had not physically touched him in years even though he works 10 hours a day and does the cooking and cleaning. (I had asked him to tell me one good quality about his wife and he refused, wouldn't even buy her flowers on Mother's Day which I thought said a lot. Then, later he admitted that she "drives the kids around all day and is a devoted mom and doesn't run around on him." He put an ultimatum on me to give him hope for the future or he was going to halt the divorce and stay married for the kids. I did not want to be the reason, so I backed away. He blamed me for spending time with male friends, etc. when in reality I was just trying to distract myself from heartbreak because I loved him very much and had never been in love before. He said he would love me forever and "never let love turn to hate," but months later when I talked to him, he was cold and cruel and angry and hateful and blamed me for everything. He maligned my character and made me sound awful. Sadly, I regretted it and wished that I had let him go through with the divorce. I highlighted the positive aspects of him and the relationship and forgot the negative because of the love I felt. No one ever loved me that way before. I feel the situation is unique because I actually saw the divorce papers, and he planned to ask me to marry him right before I backed away, he said. Not to mention he rushed into doing that because my male best friend and roommate of six years went crazy after I told him I loved someone else, contacted him and told him we were together and that he was planning to tell his wife.:( So I think he rushed so she would not find out about me. I might as well mention that this was just from tutoring English at a coffee shop and saying, "I love you." I did not sleep with him during the whole time, although I kissed him, which was a mistake. What a mess! I wish I had just said no in the beginning before feelings got deeper. Can someone give me sound advice without judging me? Like really kind advice please. The worse part is that I am older, I had not dated in 15 years, and I was ignoring that part of my life and heart. Through that and a bunch of other trauma this year, I am actually in the middle of a mental breakdown. I feel that recovery could be a long way away if at all (so many reasons for that believe me), so I should have married someone I loved even though the life would not have been what I wanted, we shared different morals, etc. If I'm sick, no one will want to marry me. Also, my heart has completely shut down after this. My life blew up here (had to move out of my place) because of the break up with my male friend and subsequent community, I can barely keep my part time job. He lost nothing. He said he is not leaving his family now and that the love isn't there like before or the motivation and his kids need him. Also that he can't trust me because I "had so many boyfriends" which is laughable. Why does he hate me then if I helped him make the right decision?
I was actually married and the ex wife just walked away....just became unhappy bcuz she fell for someone else. Fell 'in love" and unilaterally decided that me nor our family was worth fighting for
Ish happens i guess, but j.s. that wasn't just a waste of time, but even a bigger waste of time (including court) and a ton of resources.
Both might be a waste of time, but getting divorced is actually worse i think bcuz at least in situationships you can simply walk away when you're ready.
Thank you baby gal
Thank you so much for watching
Do they ever leave their wife if they are unhappy ?
How did you film your self jogging from a behind a window??
It wasn't behind the window. I just filmed it vertically and when I cut it the quality was so poor, so it kind of looks like behind the window 😁 now you know my biggest cinematography tricks 🤭
@@IevaKambarovaite I loved it!
@@WhenAphroditeSpeaks thank you darling 🤗💕
25 years and still waiting
Dont.
Let him go.
Stop seeking harmful relationships, how many times do you women need to hear this from "True guys" and not "bad boys". You keep throwing away The true ones for bad ones.
Very well said. Unfortunately, some struggle to break those painful patterns or don't even know how to recognise the true good ones.
I agree, that's why I use the term "True Guy" instead of "The Nice Guy" because The "bad boy" will use Niceness to deceive, manipulate women. They only seek 1 thing and could care less about anything else. They play games. The True Guy simply seeks his diamond so to speak, he cares of nothing else. He is loyal, faithful, seeks equal in partnership yet exalts his woman while remaining Masculine (protective). Women are now becoming the men and that hurts The True Guy as The true Guy loves his feminine woman. It's a mess for sure. There should be no struggle, if you can't stand abuse/use leave and don't look back. Think with logic and not emotions. Women need to really research and learn who the guy they're with is and vice versa. You'll learn the True Ones thru time and yes they exist. I was a true Guy (I still am) so here's what to look for: A true Guy seeks 1) Heart, 2) Loyalty/Faithful,Trust Worthy, 3) Personality, 4) Intelligence, 5) Looks ( "A perfect 10" not required), 6) Energy/Fun, 7) Togetherness/Partnership etc....notice the 1 thing not mentioned that the "Bad Boy" only seeks, That comes Later with the above mentioned--The True Guy will seek for his "Diamond" and nothing more for nothing else matters to him. There are many guys like this but they're the ones who get hurt so to speak. So they walk away. 8) If the girl/woman he seeks to partner with, if she has a troubled past or Trauma (use/abuse) He will look her in the face and tell her to unleash her issues on him, he will try to absorb her issues, comfort her, yet set Boundries to stay away from what will hurt her so she can start healing and getting a clear mind and 9) He will have no issues showing all of his social media accounts and phone usage to her but will expect the same in return. Hope this helps to anyone who sees this.
I just wasted 8 years of my life with this married man. He has just broke it off. I’m hurt and feel betrayed. For the consequence of what he has done, should I expose him to his wife?
I wouldn’t, that could get real messy.. take it as a lesson learned and take time to heal.
No, because think about it: she’s the one who has to live with a disgusting man. She’s already paying the price big time because even if she doesn’t know, she is feeling things aren’t right. Count yourself blessed to be rid of such a disgusting man! Turn to Jesus now and live a good life free of adultery, lies and fornication.
It's because you want to make him hurt... revenge is bitter sweet
I broke it off a month ago of 7 yrs. I couldn't do it anymore. I miss him every day but try so hard not to contact him, and sometimes i think the same should i tell his wife. Never thought i would be the other women. I cry myself to sleep most nights. I fell in love with something that never was real but was real to me. Its very painful. Doing my best to move on. I dont wish this on anyone.
What about your accountability knowing that the man has a wife and a family,hoping he dumps them for you. Of course he is a scumbag having an affair with a scumbag.Why would a scumbag choose another scumbag. Wishful thinking
You still love him?
Definitely not. And guess what? As painful as that experience was, it also got me to the place where I am now. I'm in a great relationship with a man that truly adores me.
How about you?
I'm happy for you! Regarding my story, I think I will never forget it and I don't know if I will ever love someone so much❤🤗
So there's hope...
❤
Thank you. What did you think about this video?
Go on dates they should provide if they don’t that is your answer
These kinda videos calm me down 🥹🫂 thanks