I appreciate that John assured that Jeff's contribution to their story did not get lost. They are a fascinating, complex couple. So many very important topics openly discussed. I wish them the very best.
Kudos to Larissa for being conscious of and empathetic to the Black experience in the US. So many trans racial adoptive parents or white parents of mixed children fail at this. Larissa is on point!
The importance of this content cannot be stressed enough. Ever. I was baptized at 8. My hippy parents converted. We lived in Indiana so we immediately had a strike against us bc we weren’t from pioneer lineage. I’m now 51 and a single mama of 3. My parents’ deaths were the real catalyst in diving deep into this part of me. This podcast has helped me understand myself in ways I never even considered. Honestly. I love this couple so much. Their love, consideration, concern for one another, and genuine friendship is stunning and lovely to witness. I’m always amazed at couples that are able to stay together and navigate these sad and traumatizing waters. It’s not uncommon at all (and quite human) for us to blame, project, and target. I believe that we do this bc it IS SO INCREDIBLY PAINFUL for one, and two…the cognitive dissonance that begins and we find it impossible to believe that we have been duped. Let’s be honest. WE WERE DUPED LADIES. Not only is this a horrific yet necessary chain of events that cannot be avoided, we know NOTHING about how to function outside the church. I mean, I was in my thirties before I TRULY understood that “NO! This isn’t the people! It’s the system”. We’ve all been “comforted“ and placated with the notion that THE CHURCH IS PERFECT NOT THE PEOPLE. Then why is it that I still consider my dear friends from church some of the finest people I know? I’ve not been active for almost 20 years. Outsiders do NOT understand the true giving of one’s self. I remember being blown away that a friend at work had never ever ever, in her entire life, made and taken dinner to a new mom. For an embarrassingly long time, I honestly felt like I was floating aimlessly through space with limited ability to process information as I normally would. My BRAIN was actually fighting the TRUTH. I always come back to being so damn grateful that my parents NEVER limited me. My life wasn’t mapped out for me. I was never pigeon holed. My mom encouraged education, independence, feminism etc. I was also a dancer and a serious one a that. I traveled, competed, toured Spain as a performer. It was my life plan. I remember one of the first times I was required to practice a SUNDAY. We were preparing for Spain and it wasn’t a choice. I remember my mom expressing concern and me shutting her RIGHT DOWN. Regardless of her view or standards, her love for me and her shared excitement in my dancing trumped ALL. I was damn good and she knew it. Lol. The rub was THE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS she held me to. Some consciously, some unconsciously. Either way IT WAS PALPABLE. The air in the room would change if I hadn’t lived up to expectations. I remember always feeling 2nd class as my dad never “made it”into the bishopric. My mom was sure to point that out to him. It was awful. I could go on and on about HOME BEHAVIOR vs CHURCH BEHAVIOR. Just incredibly dysfunctional and such a mind eff. Just THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your honesty, transparency, and grit. It’s needed. It’s often the one beacon that people cling to when their life, as they’ve always known it, crumbles before them. So much love to all of you. Again…Margie is here!! Yipeeee ❤️
As a ex Mormon white male it was so interesting to hear about Larissa’s experience with misogyny in the church. So depressing to hear about her being so valuable that she has to be cooped at home and when she’s allowed to work in the temple she had to fold laundry. Just awful. She’s an amazing person. I love their experience and I’m so impressed with their family.
This comment is in regards to some of the talk on LDS Social Services and adoption. In 1986 I was put in what was called the Unwed Mother's program through LDS Social Services. I was sent away to stay with a family. I was 17 at the time. I met once a week together with other "unwed mothers" at a church building with what felt like a Sunday school teacher. A situation where you listen and accept, guiltily, everything told to you. Speaking for myself, the messages given were those that made you feel selfish to keep your baby and that your baby's best hope was to be put with "two righteous parents". When one of the girls in my group had their baby and gave the baby up for adoption I remember being taken to see her after. The mission was for me to see how well she was doing. There was never a conversation of what keeping your baby looked like. I started High School one week postpartum. It was a closed adoption at the time. They had promised me an update with a photo at 3 months. It didn't come and didn't come. I was so desperate for some type of information I had my Mom calling and begging for something for me. It finally came months late. Just a glimpse on what went on. Coupled with a theology that a child chooses their parents in the pre-existence you're thought of as only the vessel to get the baby to where they were supposed to be. Bottom line. Adoption is so painful all the way around. I was so happy(and upset) to see the church change to open adoptions. Even more happy to see them drop it altogether. I loved hearing this couple talk about the positives of open adoption. It is still very difficult for the adoptive mother in my case to come to terms with my existence. I understand it, but if it is open from the beginning healthy relationships can be established. If you made it to the end of this.... thanks for reading 😁
I'm sorry you and your child had to go through that. I hope that you are eventually able to build a positive relationship with your child and the adoptive mother too.
@@teresapitman1659 Thank you for the kind words. I am happy to say that my son and I have been able to establish a positive meaningful relationship. I am beyond lucky to eventually have had the chance to express my love that was always there. ❤
Michelle, oh my gosh! I have never heard about this program and while horrific, it does not surprise me. This need to be discussed. My wife would like to discuss, would you be open to that? I’m so sorry this happened to you, absolutely terrible!
@@China-Clay Thank you for that. I think that is very true. You go to the church for help and they give you the information they think is best and it becomes gospel to the family. Every one is feeling traumatized and just want a way to fix it. Really no one's fault. All unfortunate.
@@jeffkindred Hi Jeff, I left a comment with my email to contact me, but it may be under review as it disappeared. Thank you for your reply. It seems like not many people outside of those that experienced it know about it. I would be open to talk to your wife. It always helps the process to talk about it all. Hopefully the comment with my email re-apppears 😊
The Mormon Church as members over thirty grew into is a lost cause. This couple model coming to terms with the deep foundational errors of Mormonism so eloquently and profoundly. I hope thousands of Mormons view and learn from this excellent presentation.
What is beautiful is that a butterfly both unravels and also becomes something else at the same time. It’s both and I think the process of unlearning what is not true but what feels central to our conditioned identity is the most profound and deep of all journeys.🦋
What a beautiful way to raise our consciousness concerning racism! This is our greatest national sin starting with slavery, and it's taking a long time to fade away. My family is from Arkansas, so I've been exposed to this most unchristian mindset from day one. Luckily we moved to California when I was four and my mother never again went back to the Southern Baptist Church which was founded by people who believed in slavery. My mother had never seen an Asian person until she moved to California and later on had an Asian daughter-in-law and three half Asian grandchildren. And I'm proud to say I never heard my mother ever utter racist language, which is saying something for a woman raised in Arkansas. I really admire the Kindreds for creating their family as they did. If only every white couple could adopt an African-American baby, and every African-American couple could adopt a white baby. That would end all racism. We need to really re-think the whole idea of "race". All people are related to the neighboring tribe or nation. They have always been mixing their DNA to the point that skin color gradually changes as you travel from Europe to Asia, or Europe through Africa, or down into India. Since we're good at using metaphors to get deeper meanings, how about seeing the human race as a flower garden where the diversity of color and shapes enhances the beauty of the garden? The Kindred family has the most beautiful flower garden. How would our society be different if this was the metaphor taught to children, if billboards had pictures of a multi-racial flower garden? And maybe Shakespeare had a divine insight when he said that the world is a stage and we are the performers. We all are given a costume of a particular color to wear, our bodies, which we adorn as best we can to be attractive. The reality is that we are not our costumes, however they look, however they fray (age). When our performance ends, we abandon our costumes and leave the stage.
Larissa thanks for caring for your biracial children. Understand everyday of their lives they will have some sort of racism to overcome. The key is not to scare them but to give them courage and self confidence in being biracial and that they are not different because of their race.
Larissa makes a good point when she says that you can't choose a system that you don't understand. I remember my boss telling me at one point that he couldn't understand why his wife wasn't happy because she didn't have to do anything because he worked for her and was thinking.. "Duh!" But I think he really thought the system worked so to him he couldn't understand why she wasn't happy.
What a beautiful, strong and honest couple. I loved hearing you say things I have struggled with concerning doctrine and roles. Larissa and Jeff prayers for physical, emotional and spiritual healings. Thank you!
Right at the end there, what I noticed being talked about was in effect that: when people follow authenticity, they're prone to become authentic... which is exactly what the church structure cannot tolerate in it's members. Any structure based on a lie is going to be threatened by this, and thus anything that promotes such authenticity (aka: feminists, homosexuals, and intellectuals, et al) constitutes their worst enemy. Fantastic Mormon Stories episode series! Thanks so much for this!
Wow! It is incredible to me how closely their experiences with leaving mirrors the questions I had when I decided to leave the mennonites. Another incredible episode!
54:52 Feature not a bug. Children being 100% the responsibility of the mother is a thing in almost all high demand religions. American culture is pretty much ok with this though. Kids are 100% the responsibility of the parents. There’s very few areas/communities in America where they practice any “it takes a village” ideas around child-rearing. I believe families suffer from this unhealthy isolation. Humans evolved communally, right?
I am a white mom of biracial (Black) children and I understand ALL the hair references. The best thing I've heard about not being able to tell our children what it's like to be Black is: "you can't take that walk with them, but you can give them a really good, quality pair of shoes for the journey."
1:43:17 I can't believe how much I relate to this woman. Much like her, my parents split up when I was a kid and we fell on hard times at my mom's house. I feel like I would want some financial independence from my spouse in general as a modern woman whether that happened or not, but the experience makes me specifically weary of relying on my spouse's income. I wonder if she has made that connection with trauma or not.
I appreciate the focus on how many negative effects on women there are in the church. This started with JS, and continues to this day. This church is designed to cater to white, heterosexual males.
Intresting about your conversation about black hair ...my oldest daughter had Irish hair tight curls and fussy ...we did the same thing Relaxing and cuts that were not for curly hair at all ....couldn'twash it very much and she was a sports nut. Now my Granddaughter's older brothers are mixed race and they both have learned how to braid their hair ... Plus the whole baby thing ...I had no problem with having my 1st daughter and 7 miscarriages between her and my twins I had them at 26 1/2 weeks And we lost one at birth They had twin to twin transfer Very sick and my daughter was in hospital for 4 months Came home on oxygen and monitors Till she was 2 years old The whole knew I wanted to be Mom but she was a lot of hard work and care and I was sleep deprived for the first year... Loved doing this but I was alone in her care .... BTY my X husband Family was LDS I was expected to this alone He left at 1 1/2 and decided he was Gay My world was so upside down from then on My other daughter was killed by her boyfriend in 2016 right after the election... She survived all the things of birth and physical therapy and respiratory issues...all to be taken by a selfish and abusive boyfriend with a gun .. My family was there for me but we haven't really been as close until this year today.... Love to All ❤❤
What they talk about during 2020+ was exactly what started my shelf breaking. And feeling like no one else can see what is so wrong about how the members were talking.
Could not imagine telling your children of color that their skin color is a curse from God. Even if they would have taken it out the members still have that mind set.
My policy is: if you have to ask, the answer is no. So don’t ask. But be accurate in identifying the ramifications to know of yourself the correct answer.
100% we were taught you could get pregnant by looking at a boy. Then infertility comes, which was our case and then adoption which made our perfect family.
Before I met my husband he served on the High Council while living in British, Columbia, Canada. (25+ yrs ago). The Stake Center was 3 hours away. The Stake was 2,400 square miles. He was assigned areas on opposite end of the boundary - a 12-hour drive. They would meet at the Stake Center the night before for a meeting, sleep there, and the next morning go to their assignments.
Our family is in a similar situation with children who are part Latino. During Covid, members of the ward were very vocal on FB about their feelings toward race. We felt we couldn’t participate in the church service when we knew how they felt about our family members. We have not returned since Covid.
At 11:40min Larissa & Jeff didn’t mention why they couldn’t get pregnant…(There are Many Reasons…Jeff could be sterile, Larissa wouldn’t be able to carry full-term Etc..)
The election was a very hard time to navigate for many. Ethics were in question and the ugly hidden personalities came out in full force. It was hard to see the real prejudices of people raise their ugly heads and to see religious people not stand up for what was just was hard to watch.
Agreed. Many people were emboldened to show their true colors. As a Japanese American whose family has fought for this country and have been here for 100 years, it broke my heart.
I thought this was larissa and Jeff. Turns out I was wrong. It was larissa with a tiny bit of Jeff. I appreciated larissa's story, sure would have appreciated more of Jeff's story tho. Got to the stage where I just didn't want to hear her voice anymore. It's like she thinks she's the only one with worthwhile views/story. It was annoying, n I am a woman.
I thought she had taken over the stage the first time I listened. Then I listened to Part 1 (which I hadn’t listened to yet) and realized Jeff does more talking there. I give them both credit for sharing so much with all of us. I look forward to Part 3.
I never knew that parents of black kids needed to coach them on how to respond to being pulled over or on wearing a hoodie. 😥 My privilege is good to know about.
@@jennifernewton9539 Let me put it like to this. On top of the problems everyone has. Money, sickness, etc unemployment. You are less likely to be shot. Be passed over for a job. You will never have to wonder "is it because am ....(insert minority)" that is the privilege. You are the default setting..that is the privilege.
@@rachymn7883 first of all I don’t run in social circles where I’m likely to be harmed and I’m educated. Getting a job isn’t an issue. Have I been passed over for a job a few times? Yes. Everyone has. Does it mean there is something wrong with you? No. Don’t play the victim. You are probably a wonderful person. Be you. Be confident in your abilities.
Ladies a good job with learning how to take care of your daughter's hair. I know so many white women with biracial girls tell me they do not know how to do their hair and send them to school looking like who did it and be judged more.
2:10:59 - re: sh**ting democrats...1 Nephi 8:26-27 says looking down on others means we are NOT on the covenant path...it places us in the great and spacious building, which has no foundation in Christ's teachings. Unfortunately, we don't seem to believe our own scriptural canon. I hear people speaking condescendingly of others as easily and as thoughtlessly as they breathe.
Well, I love d listening to this couple's Mormon Story. It is very interesting. I like some of the stories. "Doing the Lord's work, says John Dahlin - what Lord would that be then?
I wonder which church they were in… South Bend or near there. I grew up in Utah and now live 40 minutes from South Bend! … And have 3 biracial children
You give so much of your time to the Church and that time is not counted toward tithes, becasue time = money. You have to pay hard cash to enter the Temple.
Used to be the same in the Catholic church the husband was the head of the family technically the boss of his wife. Not anymore women are not going to be second class citizen, rightly so.
She’s in school… that’s a lot different than holding a full time job … will be interesting to see how she feels if she has to be a main income earner. But she will most likely be play/hobby working - since her husband is a doctor… As a mom who must work- with an infant- being a stay at home mom (which I was for 6 months) was a privilege . It’s really really tough being an actual full time worker with babies- being in school is not even close. She’s coming from extreme privilege .
@@baemaxxed5389 I didn’t invalidate her experience. I’m wondering how her feelings would change if she had to be a main provider for her family- with small children /infants like most women these days. That’s a lot different than going to school- which is part time at most. i wonder if being “just “ a stay at home mom would seem more fulfilling if she had to leave young babies at daycare and work 50+ hours a week.
This channel seems to have interesting content, but seriously multiple 2 hour videos just to get through one “session”??? Good grief, EDIT. Most of us have 12 second attention spans, man.
I'm with you on "all the Mormon stuff as phony baloney" ... However, I don't follow the view that there's some tyrannical patriarchy destroying women's lives and ruining their chance at self-actualization.
It is called free will. God gives that to his children to think for themselves, make mistakes sometimes. Religious leaders teaching you what you should think is contrary to that.
I appreciate that John assured that Jeff's contribution to their story did not get lost. They are a fascinating, complex couple. So many very important topics openly discussed. I wish them the very best.
Kudos to Larissa for being conscious of and empathetic to the Black experience in the US. So many trans racial adoptive parents or white parents of mixed children fail at this. Larissa is on point!
I am a black woman love how you love your black children ❤❤❤❤
The importance of this content cannot be stressed enough. Ever. I was baptized at 8. My hippy parents converted. We lived in Indiana so we immediately had a strike against us bc we weren’t from pioneer lineage. I’m now 51 and a single mama of 3. My parents’ deaths were the real catalyst in diving deep into this part of me. This podcast has helped me understand myself in ways I never even considered. Honestly. I love this couple so much. Their love, consideration, concern for one another, and genuine friendship is stunning and lovely to witness. I’m always amazed at couples that are able to stay together and navigate these sad and traumatizing waters. It’s not uncommon at all (and quite human) for us to blame, project, and target. I believe that we do this bc it IS SO INCREDIBLY PAINFUL for one, and two…the cognitive dissonance that begins and we find it impossible to believe that we have been duped. Let’s be honest. WE WERE DUPED LADIES. Not only is this a horrific yet necessary chain of events that cannot be avoided, we know NOTHING about how to function outside the church. I mean, I was in my thirties before I TRULY understood that “NO! This isn’t the people! It’s the system”. We’ve all been “comforted“ and placated with the notion that THE CHURCH IS PERFECT NOT THE PEOPLE. Then why is it that I still consider my dear friends from church some of the finest people I know? I’ve not been active for almost 20 years. Outsiders do NOT understand the true giving of one’s self. I remember being blown away that a friend at work had never ever ever, in her entire life, made and taken dinner to a new mom. For an embarrassingly long time, I honestly felt like I was floating aimlessly through space with limited ability to process information as I normally would. My BRAIN was actually fighting the TRUTH. I always come back to being so damn grateful that my parents NEVER limited me. My life wasn’t mapped out for me. I was never pigeon holed. My mom encouraged education, independence, feminism etc. I was also a dancer and a serious one a that. I traveled, competed, toured Spain as a performer. It was my life plan. I remember one of the first times I was required to practice a SUNDAY. We were preparing for Spain and it wasn’t a choice. I remember my mom expressing concern and me shutting her RIGHT DOWN. Regardless of her view or standards, her love for me and her shared excitement in my dancing trumped ALL. I was damn good and she knew it. Lol. The rub was THE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS she held me to. Some consciously, some unconsciously. Either way IT WAS PALPABLE. The air in the room would change if I hadn’t lived up to expectations. I remember always feeling 2nd class as my dad never “made it”into the bishopric. My mom was sure to point that out to him. It was awful. I could go on and on about HOME BEHAVIOR vs CHURCH BEHAVIOR. Just incredibly dysfunctional and such a mind eff. Just THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for your honesty, transparency, and grit. It’s needed. It’s often the one beacon that people cling to when their life, as they’ve always known it, crumbles before them. So much love to all of you. Again…Margie is here!! Yipeeee ❤️
Wow, wow, wow I love Larissa. Her honesty about her connection with her children is so important!
What a beautiful couple. Their love and friendship are refreshing to see. Thank you for sharing your journey. ❤️
As a ex Mormon white male it was so interesting to hear about Larissa’s experience with misogyny in the church. So depressing to hear about her being so valuable that she has to be cooped at home and when she’s allowed to work in the temple she had to fold laundry. Just awful. She’s an amazing person. I love their experience and I’m so impressed with their family.
This comment is in regards to some of the talk on LDS Social Services and adoption. In 1986 I was put in what was called the Unwed Mother's program through LDS Social Services. I was sent away to stay with a family. I was 17 at the time. I met once a week together with other "unwed mothers" at a church building with what felt like a Sunday school teacher. A situation where you listen and accept, guiltily, everything told to you. Speaking for myself, the messages given were those that made you feel selfish to keep your baby and that your baby's best hope was to be put with "two righteous parents".
When one of the girls in my group had their baby and gave the baby up for adoption I remember being taken to see her after. The mission was for me to see how well she was doing. There was never a conversation of what keeping your baby looked like. I started High School one week postpartum. It was a closed adoption at the time. They had promised me an update with a photo at 3 months. It didn't come and didn't come. I was so desperate for some type of information I had my Mom calling and begging for something for me. It finally came months late. Just a glimpse on what went on. Coupled with a theology that a child chooses their parents in the pre-existence you're thought of as only the vessel to get the baby to where they were supposed to be. Bottom line. Adoption is so painful all the way around. I was so happy(and upset) to see the church change to open adoptions. Even more happy to see them drop it altogether. I loved hearing this couple talk about the positives of open adoption. It is still very difficult for the adoptive mother in my case to come to terms with my existence. I understand it, but if it is open from the beginning healthy relationships can be established.
If you made it to the end of this.... thanks for reading 😁
I'm sorry you and your child had to go through that. I hope that you are eventually able to build a positive relationship with your child and the adoptive mother too.
@@teresapitman1659 Thank you for the kind words. I am happy to say that my son and I have been able to establish a positive meaningful relationship. I am beyond lucky to eventually have had the chance to express my love that was always there. ❤
Michelle, oh my gosh! I have never heard about this program and while horrific, it does not surprise me. This need to be discussed. My wife would like to discuss, would you be open to that? I’m so sorry this happened to you, absolutely terrible!
@@China-Clay Thank you for that. I think that is very true. You go to the church for help and they give you the information they think is best and it becomes gospel to the family. Every one is feeling traumatized and just want a way to fix it. Really no one's fault. All unfortunate.
@@jeffkindred Hi Jeff, I left a comment with my email to contact me, but it may be under review as it disappeared. Thank you for your reply. It seems like not many people outside of those that experienced it know about it. I would be open to talk to your wife. It always helps the process to talk about it all. Hopefully the comment with my email re-apppears 😊
The Mormon Church as members over thirty grew into is a lost cause. This couple model coming to terms with the deep foundational errors of Mormonism so eloquently and profoundly. I hope thousands of Mormons view and learn from this excellent presentation.
Thank you! It’s hard work and not fun work but definitely necessary and for the better!
What is beautiful is that a butterfly both unravels and also becomes something else at the same time. It’s both and I think the process of unlearning what is not true but what feels central to our conditioned identity is the most profound and deep of all journeys.🦋
This interview is so valuable to me as a child of LDS service adoption, thank you guys for sharing
really well-balanced and intelligent couple. great discussions and stories
What a beautiful way to raise our consciousness concerning racism! This is our greatest national sin starting with slavery, and it's taking a long time to fade away. My family is from Arkansas, so I've been exposed to this most unchristian mindset from day one. Luckily we moved to California when I was four and my mother never again went back to the Southern Baptist Church which was founded by people who believed in slavery. My mother had never seen an Asian person until she moved to California and later on had an Asian daughter-in-law and three half Asian grandchildren. And I'm proud to say I never heard my mother ever utter racist language, which is saying something for a woman raised in Arkansas.
I really admire the Kindreds for creating their family as they did. If only every white couple could adopt an African-American baby, and every African-American couple could adopt a white baby. That would end all racism. We need to really re-think the whole idea of "race". All people are related to the neighboring tribe or nation. They have always been mixing their DNA to the point that skin color gradually changes as you travel from Europe to Asia, or Europe through Africa, or down into India. Since we're good at using metaphors to get deeper meanings, how about seeing the human race as a flower garden where the diversity of color and shapes enhances the beauty of the garden? The Kindred family has the most beautiful flower garden. How would our society be different if this was the metaphor taught to children, if billboards had pictures of a multi-racial flower garden?
And maybe Shakespeare had a divine insight when he said that the world is a stage and we are the performers. We all are given a costume of a particular color to wear, our bodies, which we adorn as best we can to be attractive. The reality is that we are not our costumes, however they look, however they fray (age). When our performance ends, we abandon our costumes and leave the stage.
What an incredible way of looking at things! Thank you for sharing that. I really enjoyed the Shakespeare bit.
Your explanation and viewpoint was really lovely. Thank you for taking the time to write this.
What a wonderful couple!
I really loved this chapter, brings so much validation to my feelings during the last year.
Larissa thanks for caring for your biracial children. Understand everyday of their lives they will have some sort of racism to overcome. The key is not to scare them but to give them courage and self confidence in being biracial and that they are not different because of their race.
Larissa makes a good point when she says that you can't choose a system that you don't understand.
I remember my boss telling me at one point that he couldn't understand why his wife wasn't happy because she didn't have to do anything because he worked for her and was thinking.. "Duh!" But I think he really thought the system worked so to him he couldn't understand why she wasn't happy.
I am loving this couple! They are both intelligent human beings and Larissa has a thing or two to tell the world!!!!!
What a beautiful, strong and honest couple. I loved hearing you say things I have struggled with concerning doctrine and roles. Larissa and Jeff prayers for physical, emotional and spiritual healings. Thank you!
Right at the end there, what I noticed being talked about was in effect that: when people follow authenticity, they're prone to become authentic... which is exactly what the church structure cannot tolerate in it's members. Any structure based on a lie is going to be threatened by this, and thus anything that promotes such authenticity (aka: feminists, homosexuals, and intellectuals, et al) constitutes their worst enemy.
Fantastic Mormon Stories episode series! Thanks so much for this!
I appreciated this discussion and related on so many levels. Thank you for sharing your story.
Wow! It is incredible to me how closely their experiences with leaving mirrors the questions I had when I decided to leave the mennonites.
Another incredible episode!
It's the lack of sleep that cases a lot of the postpartum, thank you to them for keeping their word to the birth mother 🙏
This woman doesn't stop - the husband has such a glazed look! I appreciate the honesty but !!!!!!!!! I'd like to hear from him too.
He appears to be in his "doctor mindset" academically processing mode, thereby appearing detached.
He talks more in Part 1.
You guys have open hearts! Nice!
I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this Mormon Story. Dozens of fascinating insights.
I saw good hair! I learned a lot
54:52 Feature not a bug. Children being 100% the responsibility of the mother is a thing in almost all high demand religions. American culture is pretty much ok with this though. Kids are 100% the responsibility of the parents. There’s very few areas/communities in America where they practice any “it takes a village” ideas around child-rearing. I believe families suffer from this unhealthy isolation.
Humans evolved communally, right?
I am a white mom of biracial (Black) children and I understand ALL the hair references. The best thing I've heard about not being able to tell our children what it's like to be Black is: "you can't take that walk with them, but you can give them a really good, quality pair of shoes for the journey."
Awwww, I love that.❤
1:57:00 Jeff mentioned books📚?(What happened to Show Notes 📝)
Larissa and Jeff, what a great couple and family. It is refreshing listening to them. The make my day.
Powerful 🔥🔥🔥thank you!
1:43:17 I can't believe how much I relate to this woman. Much like her, my parents split up when I was a kid and we fell on hard times at my mom's house. I feel like I would want some financial independence from my spouse in general as a modern woman whether that happened or not, but the experience makes me specifically weary of relying on my spouse's income. I wonder if she has made that connection with trauma or not.
I appreciate the focus on how many negative effects on women there are in the church. This started with JS, and continues to this day. This church is designed to cater to white, heterosexual males.
Very interesting story.
EXCELLENT!!!
I’m 1% Congo, Cameroon, and Western Bantu. How did I get the priesthood? I have a drop.
Thank you for sharing your amazing journey of faith and life. God bless you🙏❤️ Continue you exploration of your relationship with our Lord. Thank you!
I cannot wait to see Good Hair!
Intresting about your conversation about black hair ...my oldest daughter had Irish hair tight curls and fussy ...we did the same thing
Relaxing and cuts that were not for curly hair at all ....couldn'twash it very much and she was a sports nut.
Now my Granddaughter's older brothers are mixed race and they both have learned how to braid their hair ...
Plus the whole baby thing ...I had no problem with having my 1st daughter and 7 miscarriages between her and my twins
I had them at 26 1/2 weeks
And we lost one at birth
They had twin to twin transfer
Very sick and my daughter was in hospital for 4 months
Came home on oxygen and monitors
Till she was 2 years old
The whole knew I wanted to be Mom but she was a lot of hard work and care and I was sleep deprived for the first year...
Loved doing this but I was alone in her care ....
BTY my X husband Family was LDS
I was expected to this alone
He left at 1 1/2 and decided he was Gay
My world was so upside down from then on
My other daughter was killed by her boyfriend in 2016 right after the election...
She survived all the things of birth and physical therapy and respiratory issues...all to be taken by a selfish and abusive boyfriend with a gun ..
My family was there for me but we haven't really been as close until this year today....
Love to All ❤❤
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about everything you have gone through.
What they talk about during 2020+ was exactly what started my shelf breaking. And feeling like no one else can see what is so wrong about how the members were talking.
Great summary!! Succinct!
"What we (as Mormons) hold as moral" I had the same experience.
Could not imagine telling your children of color that their skin color is a curse from God. Even if they would have taken it out the members still have that mind set.
It figures. Leave it up to the Mormon Cult Church to teach such bullshit as for skin color being a curse from God! Total racist religion.
My policy is: if you have to ask, the answer is no. So don’t ask. But be accurate in identifying the ramifications to know of yourself the correct answer.
100% we were taught you could get pregnant by looking at a boy. Then infertility comes, which was our case and then adoption which made our perfect family.
Before I met my husband he served on the High Council while living in British, Columbia, Canada. (25+ yrs ago). The Stake Center was 3 hours away. The Stake was 2,400 square miles. He was assigned areas on opposite end of the boundary - a 12-hour drive. They would meet at the Stake Center the night before for a meeting, sleep there, and the next morning go to their assignments.
🤦♂️ oh my gosh….
Ridiculous
Our family is in a similar situation with children who are part Latino. During Covid, members of the ward were very vocal on FB about their feelings toward race. We felt we couldn’t participate in the church service when we knew how they felt about our family members. We have not returned since Covid.
Thank you for doing this, the world has had enough of the lies and manipulation of religions
Really great story…and just didn’t feel like an equal conversation. Really wish we could have heard his perspective, too.
At 11:40min Larissa & Jeff didn’t mention why they couldn’t get pregnant…(There are Many Reasons…Jeff could be sterile, Larissa wouldn’t be able to carry full-term Etc..)
Thats none of our busness
She edited it.
Can anyone explain what the book "Saints" is about? Why are missionaries banned from reading it?
It’s the history of the church produced by the church.
Kinda makes more sense to have the Bishop EQP and RSP sit on the stand.
UNBINDING🌺, not unravelling 🤯😽
Great observation that BLM is both an organization, but especially a movement.
Did they have their kiddos in the nursery at their LDS ward ?
Ahmad Corbitt is an African American general authority, called to the Young Mens General Presidency in 2020.
I’m looking for part 1 and can not find it
Type in Mormon stories 1684
🤣🤣 box braids. Wow am proud
OMHF Margie is sooo funny!
The election was a very hard time to navigate for many. Ethics were in question and the ugly hidden personalities came out in full force. It was hard to see the real prejudices of people raise their ugly heads and to see religious people not stand up for what was just was hard to watch.
Agreed. Many people were emboldened to show their true colors. As a Japanese American whose family has fought for this country and have been here for 100 years, it broke my heart.
I thought this was larissa and Jeff. Turns out I was wrong. It was larissa with a tiny bit of Jeff. I appreciated larissa's story, sure would have appreciated more of Jeff's story tho. Got to the stage where I just didn't want to hear her voice anymore. It's like she thinks she's the only one with worthwhile views/story. It was annoying, n I am a woman.
I thought she had taken over the stage the first time I listened. Then I listened to Part 1 (which I hadn’t listened to yet) and realized Jeff does more talking there. I give them both credit for sharing so much with all of us. I look forward to Part 3.
I saw Good Hair on video through Netflix DVD. No particular reason just a fan of documentaries and Chris Rock.
I heard you say you need all the help you can get from creators I’m in Lehi would love to help!
I’m glad she recognized that she’s not very maternal!😂 cuz that’s so obvious. I’m sure they are great parents now….. kinda different couple IMO.
I never knew that parents of black kids needed to coach them on how to respond to being pulled over or on wearing a hoodie. 😥 My privilege is good to know about.
I’m tired of hearing just because a person is Caucasian that we are “privileged “. Be happy and enjoy life.
To so easily be happy and enjoy life is one of the privileges of being Caucasian! Open your eyes a little wider
@@emilyhansson755 I still disagree with you on that. This privilege stuff hasn’t been a thing until a last few years. It’s the woke agenda.
@@jennifernewton9539 Let me put it like to this. On top of the problems everyone has. Money, sickness, etc unemployment. You are less likely to be shot. Be passed over for a job. You will never have to wonder "is it because am ....(insert minority)" that is the privilege. You are the default setting..that is the privilege.
@@rachymn7883 first of all I don’t run in social circles where I’m likely to be harmed and I’m educated. Getting a job isn’t an issue. Have I been passed over for a job a few times? Yes. Everyone has. Does it mean there is something wrong with you? No. Don’t play the victim. You are probably a wonderful person. Be you. Be confident in your abilities.
Ladies a good job with learning how to take care of your daughter's hair. I know so many white women with biracial girls tell me they do not know how to do their hair and send them to school looking like who did it and be judged more.
2:10:59 - re: sh**ting democrats...1 Nephi 8:26-27 says looking down on others means we are NOT on the covenant path...it places us in the great and spacious building, which has no foundation in Christ's teachings. Unfortunately, we don't seem to believe our own scriptural canon.
I hear people speaking condescendingly of others as easily and as thoughtlessly as they breathe.
Well, I love d listening to this couple's Mormon Story. It is very interesting. I like some of the stories. "Doing the Lord's work, says John Dahlin - what Lord would that be then?
I wonder which church they were in… South Bend or near there. I grew up in Utah and now live 40 minutes from South Bend! … And have 3 biracial children
The term "unraveling" speaks to the experience of extreme cognitive dissonance.
Did your church ever take a stand on the peace and justice issue of black lives matter?
Mormon church liberal can still be pretty damn conservative! lol.
You give so much of your time to the Church and that time is not counted toward tithes, becasue time = money. You have to pay hard cash to enter the Temple.
Used to be the same in the Catholic church the husband was the head of the family technically the boss of his wife. Not anymore women are not going to be second class citizen, rightly so.
May be hard to find an African American who would want to take on the roll as an area authority.
John 11:44
I wonder how he is liking how Biden is as president ....with him having been against trump
She’s in school… that’s a lot different than holding a full time job … will be interesting to see how she feels if she has to be a main income earner. But she will most likely be play/hobby working - since her husband is a doctor…
As a mom who must work- with an infant- being a stay at home mom (which I was for 6 months) was a privilege . It’s really really tough being an actual full time worker with babies- being in school is not even close. She’s coming from extreme privilege .
She repeatedly and emphatically acknowledged her privilege. Not sure why you could ask for more?
We should never invalidate someone else's experiences just because it isn't as "hard" as our own.
@@baemaxxed5389 I didn’t invalidate her experience. I’m wondering how her feelings would change if she had to be a main provider for her family- with small children /infants like most women these days. That’s a lot different than going to school- which is part time at most. i wonder if being “just “ a stay at home mom would seem more fulfilling if she had to leave young babies at daycare and work 50+ hours a week.
I do not understand when white people say Jesus was white😂
This channel seems to have interesting content, but seriously multiple 2 hour videos just to get through one “session”??? Good grief, EDIT. Most of us have 12 second attention spans, man.
I'm with you on "all the Mormon stuff as phony baloney" ... However, I don't follow the view that there's some tyrannical patriarchy destroying women's lives and ruining their chance at self-actualization.
The awesomeness of God, if you really want to know the Truth,
He will tell and show you.
It is called free will. God gives that to his children to think for themselves, make mistakes sometimes. Religious leaders teaching you what you should think is contrary to that.
The beauty of that, is that God doesn't have to do it gendered or under the thumb of a Corporate Church, and it will be your own truth.