Most revenge backfires any way.Give the gift of silence,its less stress for both parties, no arguments and no one goes away feeling hurt,angry,demeaned ....nothing
I agree, why hurt anyone if moving on is an option. Some believe that revenge will provide closure but it only prolongs the pain. I think forgiving ourselves for being a part of an unhealthy situation is the best we can do. Owning our own parts, forgiving ourselves, and finding peace with that. Great post and things to think about.
My parents discarded me 4yrs ago because I needed space to heal. I'm 57 now and haven't heard anything from them or my sister. Would love your assurance that, as I think, I'll not hear from them again. Thank you for your honesty 💛
Narcissistic parents REFUSE to take responsibility for their action during the raising of their children. They think you are the problem (black sheep). You are not the problem. I hope you find peace not having to fight or beg for their love. I had to learn this myself.
Once i knew the relationship was toxic I cut all ties forever and yes, sometimes it took a while, I was always really good at seeing my mistakes through until the end! After quite sometime I learned to forgive, forgiveness was the only thing that set me free! I had to forgive myself as well! I realized these toxic people in my life had their own demons to face and their lives would be sad and once I started having empathy for them it was much easier to forgive !
P.S. thank you Sarah and Mr Chicken for posting such insightful, funny and emotionally open content. You help so many of us make sense of disordered people - both those we are healing from, and those we love and want to understand better (eg, my NPD ex but also my BPD sibling). You are a treasure of wisdom.
This was one of the best videos you have done. It was so interesting and gave me a new perspective on how a person with these issues process hurt and loss. Thank you.
Damn, you got me with this one. Guilty as charged. If I could undo what I did, I would. He triggered my inner child wound so I gave as good as I got, but I should have been better. Live and learn I suppose. That’s all I can do and hope that I didn’t hurt him to the point he can’t recover. I’ll never know.
If you treated him better, it wouldn't have been appreciated. You would have been walked all over. You were protecting yourself and he respected that. Narcissists/AntiSocials/Psychopaths choose Borderlines for a reason. Try not to feel bad. You were the perfect chaos that he wanted. Otherwise you guys wouldn't have been married for as long as you were.
I do when I'm in a grandiose state! 🎉But thanks for trying to fix a mental illness with one sentence and no guidance on how this is to make manifest. Even psychologists are still using us as guinea pigs bc they don't know how to fix us. Maybe you should reach out to them and earn yourself a Nobel prize!
It's easy to tell when a borderline hasn't worked on their own traits. It's always "my narc hoovered me back in" but you left access to yourself. So clearly you weren't over them yourself.
This is a hard one. I didn't do a purposeful public smear but I did tell family members the truth about the things that happened after I'd already been smeared Ms lied on. It half backfired. Some people believed me, others didn't. I wasn't going for revenge, I was trying to defend myself, same as my ex I guess ,, context is everything. Self defense and assault are opposites in an ideal world. This is not an ideal situation
I came across this, a definition of evil, and think it sums up the nex quite nicely.😊❤ 1. Lack of empathy: An inability to understand or share the feelings of others. 2. Selfishness: Prioritizing one's own desires and needs above others. 3. Manipulative and deceitful behavior: Using lies and deception to control and exploit others. 4. Anger and aggression: Resorting to violence or intimidation to get what they want. 5. Lack of remorse or guilt: Showing no concern for the harm they cause to others.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Absolutely. I believe she was diagnosed anti social, but like so many cluster B personalities, she had exhibited several comorbidities. Near the end she displayed the complete dark tetrad personality traits.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE l have spent the last five years doing precisely that, and how l could continue to try to love and support someone who was not good for me. Growth is a good thing 🙂
U really helped out this is much better perspective for me. Thank u so much. It really helps to have compassion when knowing y they act like they do. Compassion (and distance) is so much better than hate and bitterness. 💞
I often wonder do Narcissists remember devaluing someone? My ex acted like we were best friends last time I saw her, but when I let her know I didn't want to know her anymore, she flew into a scary rage and storned off
I was nice to all my exes. We can compartmentalize bad memories and we sure as Hell don't think we did anything wrong (or it can be justified). So, you rejecting her and devalued her friendship. That got the appropriate response. My exes and I had not been perfect at the end and still we could have friendly conversations at random.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEIt was kind of surprising, because when she left me or discarded me, she'd been devaluing me for months, it was like a relentless barrage of hatred, and she acted furious when she moved out, I'm not saying I was an angel, but after months of silent treatment and rage, it was strange to see her being nice to me again.
Another great video Sara, I'm 6 month's no contact from my last relationship, I don't know if this woman was diagnosed or not, her children have adhd and different attachment styles, but I went through love bombing to discard, confused at the time but thanks to your videos it all makes a lot more sense now, I don't have any bad feelings for this lady, in fact we had a phenomenal time together, drink and fantastic sex, I hope she's doing well wherever she is and whoever she's now with, your channel is fantastic ❤️
I would also point out that to get to the point of wanting revenge instead of just leaving means that you have your own issues to work through and/or trauma bond. And, Sara, putting the shoe on the other foot, in order to want that revenge in the first place means a couple of things: 1) the narcissistic person summed you up and used your own childhood vulnerabilities against you for their own purposes; 2) you are desperate to get that person off of you and don't care what it takes to make the reverse discard stick.
Good on you. Your information is great. Very insight full with a little off the wall dark humour. I am Irish , love that shit!😂 Great timing with this one too. legend!
"Knowing if you hurt a narcissistic person isn't really what it's all about." I find it rather sad that you had to explicitly state this.... But I really like the way you say "flavor." 🙂
At times i have on purposly broke a partner before the relationship ended, i waited until it was her birthday and then at her birthday party i kissed her best friend infront of her, and thats when she found out i was cheating on her with her best friend, 😅, she just burst out crying and all her friends watched, i do feel bad about it now, but i felt great about it at the time 😂
That's sadistic behavior bc you planned to hurt her on purpose. Plus you were cheating on your girl friend w/ her friend, also planned. How the f*kc are YOU the victim in all this? The only thing you might feel is shame. You still don't care what you did.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Lol it was a long time ago, but I found out she cheated on me twice with 2 different guys, and she was a preachy Christian girl, always preaching the moral high ground, when I decided I wanted to end it with her, I also knew I hated her, she also never found out that I knew she was cheating on me, so I shattered her ego and her mind, so nobody was really the victim we just both destroyed each other in different ways, she destroyed me first and I destroyed her last, and her best friend technically destroyed us both lol
People need to consider some people don't feel the same feelings, or as intensely, including ourselves. Some triggers are not present for other people and therefore you cannot hurt them by retaliating. I thought about cheating on my ex but I didn't want to for numerous reasons. Also, I didn't think it could hurt them or else they couldn't have cheated so easily and so repeatedly. That's what empathy is, not really knowing what another person feels, but what you'd feel on the other side of your actions and what someone else could. I wanted him to feel what I felt but he either couldn't or he was so used to it from his upbringing, it's not the same for better or worse. You can't pinch burnt skin and say the pain is the same. Freshly it's more sensitive and healed or in this case overtime, it's nearly dead. Also, I tried so much to keep from hurting him, and knew he silently hoarded my offenses due to passive-aggressive behavior and he wouldn't allow remediation, why try? I did it on accident enough and was already a villain. Just have got to deal with the fact, you probably don't have the impact they had on you. Again, it sucks but if I'm physically here I rather be alive than dead emotionally. To feel pleasure intensely, you have the same capacity for pain. I got enough of borderline flavor from my dad that him ghosting made me similar to Glen Close in fatal attraction but I wasn't going to take it to the streets or obviously going to hurt other people. I did hurt other people but it wasn't easy to notice at first and some I don't care and others I really regret. I wish I hadn't been so open to him still and had left him alone with his dying nephew that he used as cover to see me while he left his newer gf at home. I couldn't stop myself at the time or see how I would feel later when the baby passed. It was the only time my ex sounded like he gave care without it being a means to supply. Once I started to come to terms the closure was there in his treatment of me the whole time but especially after I found out about the other woman, I was able to make him block me and took my opportunity to say goodbye. I know I wasn't blocked across the board but I wanted him to be the one and I took all that time to wear myself out enough to be ready. He blocked me when I told him I know how to get him to talk to me in detail. I said, if he thinks I'm a mastermind he's wrong because anyone who pays him mind can see how to manipulate him. So either they don't care enough, they are using him, too slow or too self-absorbed, etc. It's true but I wasn't going to because try this time. I couldn't find a true reason to apologize for anything that would make me want to stay in his toy chest or think that I misunderstood about him. I saw it was as ugly as it looked at first, he wasn't interested in changing, he would do anything to me if it meant getting his momentary way, he will destroy himself and I don't want to see it happening. Yes, sometimes I still do want him to pay in a way I can see hits him but then I think about actually seeing it and knowing and no way. If that happened and he even looked like he wanted some help, I'd be at risk of putting my head in the lions mouth again! So I just have to give it to God because that's His child not mines. It's his business not mines. I knew I was casting pearls before swine because he couldn't value and trampled all over my love. Plus it was obvious to me he was gravitating towards woman that reminded him of his parents and I don't want to be like that more than I am, so there's nothing for me to do with him. I saw a video on a channel with this title recently. Didn't watch but sometimes they have decent information, although most of the time it is only good for PTSD or covert narcissism being displayed in realtime. I'm not a chosen one. I'm not an empath. I'm a person that was decent, has average empath and became progressive more freaked up by staying in contact with a person addicted to being a and causing problems.
Learn to love yourself and your own company and never just be a body to someone or vice versa. Been there. It degrades your self esteem knowing someone is just settling for you or your the best that's available at the time. That's why I don't know how I feel when a toxic person is breaking up and getting back together with someone. Maybe it gets better sometimes but most times it's just what services you offer.
I need to go silent. He hooked me, lied to me… future faked. And when I realized All I did was enable by going back when he calls again and again 😢 why is it so hard to STOP? To let go is hard. To face the reality that it means NOTHING to him is so hard. Bc it means something to me. To STOP going back is to accept that reality, that all it was was sex to him and I put my heart and soul into it. I know it. I just don’t want to face that yet. So I live the lie again and again. Help me Sara. Help me go no contact. 😢 he is EVIL.
You seem to be one of few people who get it. Narcissists are not monsters, they are victims. Seeing them as victims, makes it easier for em-paths to move on and if they have low self esteem, work on that. You are certainly not just a body, I had a great childhood, so I don't know how to tell you to love yourself, but I think you are right with the word "give. You certainly give good information, and I was thinking it before you said it.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE same house. I live upstairs and she lives downstairs. She is bitter because Her constant complaining about me was classed as harassment towards me. She gets other people to show up at work too. Thank God I dont work in a shop! I go to peoples homes, who have cameras on their properties.
I could see myself wanting him back and taking him back but the split has already happened so it would never be the same. I’d be less likely to put up with things I did at first and the resentment would simmer & build. Eventually, I would end up punishing him and I’d feel justified but it would not have been my intention to do so and the reason for reuniting.
If you're not in a relationship, you're just used for when you're needed by them for a self esteem boost. But honestly, they don't think about how you feel. Please don't wait around for crumbs. It's not a conscious sadistic act, they just don't care till need you. That's not fair to you. This is why friendship are very shallow. And if they ever felt betrayed by you, you will never win back their trust (even if you believe you did nothing wrong).
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE was the booty call now she says friends. Texts but won't ever meet up to catch up. I'm fine with being shelved booty but uncertain if that's even what I am.
I should also say that I work with disordered people with mal adaptive coping strategies, so that I realised our relationship was very different to so of my previous girlfriends, that being said I'm a bit of an asshole too! 🤣
Fantastic content as usual:) I have a question, when you say "you want us to mask up for you all the time and um it's exhausting." How would we want you to mask up? Up until I found your channel I had no idea really about NPD or BPD so I'm curious was it more of our behavior that made you mask up or something we did/didn't do that caused it? Thank you 🤗
You have been here long enough to know about the false self and masking since we were children. When I'm blaming you for wanting us to keep up the false self 24/7, it's bc you don't like us unless we're putting on the happy show. You want the continuous mirror of how great you are. It's kind of narcissistic of you. Hahahaha
Thank you Sarah (and Mr Chicken) for the very helpful content. I have a question for you. My husband was cheating, so I filed for divorce and I moved into an apartment. He’s filled with rage, even though he is still dating his affair partner (and she’s young and pretty - half his age). Why the rage? I mean, yes, we are splitting the money (30 year marriage), so I know he’s mad about that. But is there something else going on that fills him with rage? And his rage seems to be increasing. Am I triggering his abandonment fears? If so, that doesn’t make sense to me, since he was the one who chose to destroy the marriage by having an affair. Is there something else going on that causes the rage?
What Lisa said. He could be pissed that you found out. He probably wants to blame you for him needing to cheat (lol). Lastly, you're abandoning him. It's also shameful for everyone to know that he cheated and broke the family apart. He doesn't want to be exposed.
Wanting to protect people from narcissistic people isn't about the narcissist. You can tell she's the real deal bc she thinks that people speaking out is about hurting the narcissist and not understanding that it's about protecting innocents.
If you're speaking of victim channels (I'm not sure), they want you to see yourself as a victim (us vs. them). They rarely speak about the disorder and why these behaviors are projected outward while also empowering other to fix their own issues which led them to keep being harmed. Healing your own childhood trauma, noticing the red flags that are overlooked, and understand WHY you were trauma bonded will heal you. Calling a disordered person a demonic entity and you an angelic empath is not doing anyone any good.
Most revenge backfires any way.Give the gift of silence,its less stress for both parties, no arguments and no one goes away feeling hurt,angry,demeaned ....nothing
I agree, why hurt anyone if moving on is an option. Some believe that revenge will provide closure but it only prolongs the pain. I think forgiving ourselves for being a part of an unhealthy situation is the best we can do. Owning our own parts, forgiving ourselves, and finding peace with that. Great post and things to think about.
I truly believe we didn’t try to hurt eachother we just simply did
Sometimes both people do NOT want to be triggering each other, but circumstances in life simply create that anyway.
I would like to see your boyfriend 😅
I will dismiss you in 3 min. 😂
Telling the truth will get you discarded...and on the long path to freedom 💛🎉
My parents discarded me 4yrs ago because I needed space to heal. I'm 57 now and haven't heard anything from them or my sister. Would love your assurance that, as I think, I'll not hear from them again.
Thank you for your honesty 💛
Narcissistic parents REFUSE to take responsibility for their action during the raising of their children. They think you are the problem (black sheep). You are not the problem. I hope you find peace not having to fight or beg for their love. I had to learn this myself.
Thank you💜I wish peace for you also🙏
Once i knew the relationship was toxic I cut all ties forever and yes, sometimes it took a while, I was always really good at seeing my mistakes through until the end! After quite sometime I learned to forgive, forgiveness was the only thing that set me free! I had to forgive myself as well! I realized these toxic people in my life had their own demons to face and their lives would be sad and once I started having empathy for them it was much easier to forgive !
100% agree with the forgiveness. I also like to see my mistakes through till the end. Hahaha
P.S. thank you Sarah and Mr Chicken for posting such insightful, funny and emotionally open content. You help so many of us make sense of disordered people - both those we are healing from, and those we love and want to understand better (eg, my NPD ex but also my BPD sibling). You are a treasure of wisdom.
This was one of the best videos you have done. It was so interesting and gave me a new perspective on how a person with these issues process hurt and loss. Thank you.
Damn, you got me with this one.
Guilty as charged. If I could undo what I did, I would. He triggered my inner child wound so I gave as good as I got, but I should have been better.
Live and learn I suppose. That’s all I can do and hope that I didn’t hurt him to the point he can’t recover.
I’ll never know.
If you treated him better, it wouldn't have been appreciated. You would have been walked all over. You were protecting yourself and he respected that. Narcissists/AntiSocials/Psychopaths choose Borderlines for a reason. Try not to feel bad. You were the perfect chaos that he wanted. Otherwise you guys wouldn't have been married for as long as you were.
Love yourself unconditionally.Inside and out.And you will heal from this sadness.
I do when I'm in a grandiose state! 🎉But thanks for trying to fix a mental illness with one sentence and no guidance on how this is to make manifest. Even psychologists are still using us as guinea pigs bc they don't know how to fix us. Maybe you should reach out to them and earn yourself a Nobel prize!
Like your truthfulness and personal examples. Thank you and good luck
You give really good information and I know that you don't need me to tell you that
I like hearing it anyway. 😁
You give very good information, yes you do
It's easy to tell when a borderline hasn't worked on their own traits. It's always "my narc hoovered me back in" but you left access to yourself. So clearly you weren't over them yourself.
Best female Narc channel ❤
This is a hard one. I didn't do a purposeful public smear but I did tell family members the truth about the things that happened after I'd already been smeared Ms lied on. It half backfired. Some people believed me, others didn't. I wasn't going for revenge, I was trying to defend myself, same as my ex I guess ,, context is everything. Self defense and assault are opposites in an ideal world. This is not an ideal situation
I came across this, a definition of evil, and think it sums up the nex quite nicely.😊❤
1. Lack of empathy: An inability to understand or share the feelings of others.
2. Selfishness: Prioritizing one's own desires and needs above others.
3. Manipulative and deceitful behavior: Using lies and deception to control and exploit others.
4. Anger and aggression: Resorting to violence or intimidation to get what they want.
5. Lack of remorse or guilt: Showing no concern for the harm they cause to others.
#3 and #5 are Anti Social traits. But your person could have co-morbid traits of both. th-cam.com/video/MTZ8kAu7X7c/w-d-xo.htmlsi=0gI54v8jirO0j2lp
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE Absolutely. I believe she was diagnosed anti social, but like so many cluster B personalities, she had exhibited several comorbidities. Near the end she displayed the complete dark tetrad personality traits.
@@ddean1420 Hopefully you're deep diving into your own past to recognize why you are attracted to chaos. Hint: Your own childhood.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE l have spent the last five years doing precisely that, and how l could continue to try to love and support someone who was not good for me. Growth is a good thing 🙂
You give amazing DOPE info. Tysm for sharing yr mental and emotional labor with us. 💐💐
U really helped out this is much better perspective for me. Thank u so much. It really helps to have compassion when knowing y they act like they do. Compassion (and distance) is so much better than hate and bitterness. 💞
Thank you. I really appreciate you and your channel. Your videos are always very helpful because they are real.
I often wonder do Narcissists remember devaluing someone? My ex acted like we were best friends last time I saw her, but when I let her know I didn't want to know her anymore, she flew into a scary rage and storned off
I was nice to all my exes. We can compartmentalize bad memories and we sure as Hell don't think we did anything wrong (or it can be justified). So, you rejecting her and devalued her friendship. That got the appropriate response.
My exes and I had not been perfect at the end and still we could have friendly conversations at random.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkEIt was kind of surprising, because when she left me or discarded me, she'd been devaluing me for months, it was like a relentless barrage of hatred, and she acted furious when she moved out, I'm not saying I was an angel, but after months of silent treatment and rage, it was strange to see her being nice to me again.
I enjoy watching your content. Thank you!
Really Good Talk! Thank You!
Beautifully said
Another great video Sara, I'm 6 month's no contact from my last relationship, I don't know if this woman was diagnosed or not, her children have adhd and different attachment styles, but I went through love bombing to discard, confused at the time but thanks to your videos it all makes a lot more sense now, I don't have any bad feelings for this lady, in fact we had a phenomenal time together, drink and fantastic sex, I hope she's doing well wherever she is and whoever she's now with, your channel is fantastic ❤️
I would also point out that to get to the point of wanting revenge instead of just leaving means that you have your own issues to work through and/or trauma bond. And, Sara, putting the shoe on the other foot, in order to want that revenge in the first place means a couple of things: 1) the narcissistic person summed you up and used your own childhood vulnerabilities against you for their own purposes; 2) you are desperate to get that person off of you and don't care what it takes to make the reverse discard stick.
You're still acting like we're masterminds, using your childhood against you? #FakeNews. Your childhood trauma gets triggered no matter what!
Good on you. Your information is great. Very insight full with a little off the wall dark humour. I am Irish , love that shit!😂 Great timing with this one too.
legend!
Yeah ClusterB is so Irish..She is throwing down the K nowledge ''way better than those fkn victim channels'..Bitchn.What a gal!
"Knowing if you hurt a narcissistic person isn't really what it's all about."
I find it rather sad that you had to explicitly state this.... But I really like the way you say "flavor." 🙂
At times i have on purposly broke a partner before the relationship ended, i waited until it was her birthday and then at her birthday party i kissed her best friend infront of her, and thats when she found out i was cheating on her with her best friend, 😅, she just burst out crying and all her friends watched, i do feel bad about it now, but i felt great about it at the time 😂
That's sadistic behavior bc you planned to hurt her on purpose. Plus you were cheating on your girl friend w/ her friend, also planned. How the f*kc are YOU the victim in all this? The only thing you might feel is shame. You still don't care what you did.
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE
Lol it was a long time ago, but I found out she cheated on me twice with 2 different guys, and she was a preachy Christian girl, always preaching the moral high ground, when I decided I wanted to end it with her, I also knew I hated her, she also never found out that I knew she was cheating on me, so I shattered her ego and her mind, so nobody was really the victim we just both destroyed each other in different ways, she destroyed me first and I destroyed her last, and her best friend technically destroyed us both lol
*Take every single thing this woman says as serious as you know how ...*
People need to consider some people don't feel the same feelings, or as intensely, including ourselves. Some triggers are not present for other people and therefore you cannot hurt them by retaliating. I thought about cheating on my ex but I didn't want to for numerous reasons. Also, I didn't think it could hurt them or else they couldn't have cheated so easily and so repeatedly. That's what empathy is, not really knowing what another person feels, but what you'd feel on the other side of your actions and what someone else could. I wanted him to feel what I felt but he either couldn't or he was so used to it from his upbringing, it's not the same for better or worse. You can't pinch burnt skin and say the pain is the same. Freshly it's more sensitive and healed or in this case overtime, it's nearly dead.
Also, I tried so much to keep from hurting him, and knew he silently hoarded my offenses due to passive-aggressive behavior and he wouldn't allow remediation, why try? I did it on accident enough and was already a villain. Just have got to deal with the fact, you probably don't have the impact they had on you. Again, it sucks but if I'm physically here I rather be alive than dead emotionally. To feel pleasure intensely, you have the same capacity for pain. I got enough of borderline flavor from my dad that him ghosting made me similar to Glen Close in fatal attraction but I wasn't going to take it to the streets or obviously going to hurt other people. I did hurt other people but it wasn't easy to notice at first and some I don't care and others I really regret. I wish I hadn't been so open to him still and had left him alone with his dying nephew that he used as cover to see me while he left his newer gf at home. I couldn't stop myself at the time or see how I would feel later when the baby passed. It was the only time my ex sounded like he gave care without it being a means to supply.
Once I started to come to terms the closure was there in his treatment of me the whole time but especially after I found out about the other woman, I was able to make him block me and took my opportunity to say goodbye. I know I wasn't blocked across the board but I wanted him to be the one and I took all that time to wear myself out enough to be ready. He blocked me when I told him I know how to get him to talk to me in detail. I said, if he thinks I'm a mastermind he's wrong because anyone who pays him mind can see how to manipulate him. So either they don't care enough, they are using him, too slow or too self-absorbed, etc. It's true but I wasn't going to because try this time. I couldn't find a true reason to apologize for anything that would make me want to stay in his toy chest or think that I misunderstood about him. I saw it was as ugly as it looked at first, he wasn't interested in changing, he would do anything to me if it meant getting his momentary way, he will destroy himself and I don't want to see it happening. Yes, sometimes I still do want him to pay in a way I can see hits him but then I think about actually seeing it and knowing and no way. If that happened and he even looked like he wanted some help, I'd be at risk of putting my head in the lions mouth again! So I just have to give it to God because that's His child not mines. It's his business not mines. I knew I was casting pearls before swine because he couldn't value and trampled all over my love. Plus it was obvious to me he was gravitating towards woman that reminded him of his parents and I don't want to be like that more than I am, so there's nothing for me to do with him.
I saw a video on a channel with this title recently. Didn't watch but sometimes they have decent information, although most of the time it is only good for PTSD or covert narcissism being displayed in realtime. I'm not a chosen one. I'm not an empath. I'm a person that was decent, has average empath and became progressive more freaked up by staying in contact with a person addicted to being a and causing problems.
I am so agree with you
Learn to love yourself and your own company and never just be a body to someone or vice versa. Been there. It degrades your self esteem knowing someone is just settling for you or your the best that's available at the time. That's why I don't know how I feel when a toxic person is breaking up and getting back together with someone. Maybe it gets better sometimes but most times it's just what services you offer.
Agreed.
Thank you for the video. I wish you could bottle up the not give f-ck and sell it, id buy it!!!
Here you go! th-cam.com/video/5IOwNwqgRhc/w-d-xo.htmlsi=jgUeCblevEVtJ9T9
I need to go silent. He hooked me, lied to me… future faked. And when I realized All I did was enable by going back when he calls again and again 😢 why is it so hard to STOP? To let go is hard. To face the reality that it means NOTHING to him is so hard. Bc it means something to me. To STOP going back is to accept that reality, that all it was was sex to him and I put my heart and soul into it. I know it. I just don’t want to face that yet. So I live the lie again and again. Help me Sara. Help me go no contact. 😢 he is EVIL.
th-cam.com/video/WiKbkBnoGlw/w-d-xo.htmlsi=baHTpTCvbFC8ivpU
You seem to be one of few people who get it. Narcissists are not monsters, they are victims. Seeing them as victims, makes it easier for em-paths to move on and if they have low self esteem, work on that. You are certainly not just a body, I had a great childhood, so I don't know how to tell you to love yourself, but I think you are right with the word "give. You certainly give good information, and I was thinking it before you said it.
The Borderline I live above shows up at my workplace. Creepy stuff really
Same apartment building? You work at a grocery store? Lol
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE same house. I live upstairs and she lives downstairs. She is bitter because Her constant complaining about me was classed as harassment towards me.
She gets other people to show up at work too. Thank God I dont work in a shop!
I go to peoples homes, who have cameras on their properties.
I could see myself wanting him back and taking him back but the split has already happened so it would never be the same.
I’d be less likely to put up with things I did at first and the resentment would simmer & build. Eventually, I would end up punishing him and I’d feel justified but it would not have been my intention to do so and the reason for reuniting.
I can relate. Getting back together never has the intent for punishment but it does seem to get worse after every repair.
Hey there shakey shakes, been a minute lol You too Mr chickey chickey😉....yeaaaah
Beautiful girl and your chicken is lovely
My narcissist didn't Ghost still responds to texts but won't make time to meet up / catch up. Can't figure that out what it is.
You're backup or will be used for attention
If you're not in a relationship, you're just used for when you're needed by them for a self esteem boost. But honestly, they don't think about how you feel. Please don't wait around for crumbs. It's not a conscious sadistic act, they just don't care till need you. That's not fair to you. This is why friendship are very shallow. And if they ever felt betrayed by you, you will never win back their trust (even if you believe you did nothing wrong).
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE was the booty call now she says friends. Texts but won't ever meet up to catch up. I'm fine with being shelved booty but uncertain if that's even what I am.
You know how I like Mr. Chicken. I was wondering if Mr. Chicken could host a "live" someday-maybe someday? Or is there no hope?
Mr. Chicken's mouth starts to cramp up after a few minutes. It wouldn't be a very long live.
So there is a chance....Thank you
@@sototallyover2359 😂
At 13:17 She gives good book...
Good stuff
I should also say that I work with disordered people with mal adaptive coping strategies, so that I realised our relationship was very different to so of my previous girlfriends, that being said I'm a bit of an asshole too! 🤣
The art on your wall is 🔥🔥🔥
Thank you. 🙂
@@cLuStErBMiLkShAkE You're welcome✊🏽
Fantastic content as usual:) I have a question, when you say "you want us to mask up for you all the time and um it's exhausting." How would we want you to mask up? Up until I found your channel I had no idea really about NPD or BPD so I'm curious was it more of our behavior that made you mask up or something we did/didn't do that caused it? Thank you 🤗
You have been here long enough to know about the false self and masking since we were children. When I'm blaming you for wanting us to keep up the false self 24/7, it's bc you don't like us unless we're putting on the happy show. You want the continuous mirror of how great you are. It's kind of narcissistic of you. Hahahaha
Thank you Sarah (and Mr Chicken) for the very helpful content. I have a question for you. My husband was cheating, so I filed for divorce and I moved into an apartment. He’s filled with rage, even though he is still dating his affair partner (and she’s young and pretty - half his age). Why the rage? I mean, yes, we are splitting the money (30 year marriage), so I know he’s mad about that. But is there something else going on that fills him with rage? And his rage seems to be increasing. Am I triggering his abandonment fears? If so, that doesn’t make sense to me, since he was the one who chose to destroy the marriage by having an affair. Is there something else going on that causes the rage?
Perhaps he is mad that he can't keep the both of you. His reality (you) and his fantasy (her).
What Lisa said.
He could be pissed that you found out. He probably wants to blame you for him needing to cheat (lol). Lastly, you're abandoning him. It's also shameful for everyone to know that he cheated and broke the family apart. He doesn't want to be exposed.
My ex cheated. When I found out and contacted her, he said I 'spoiled things' for him.
@@AngieSainty And you said…GOOD! 🖕🏻
Beautiful chick and the stuffed animal is also nice!
Very good information. Thank you.
You know
The victim channels don't help at all. Very disempowering.
That 'artwork" looks demonic and that mask in so many of the videos is scary
Are you nice to Mr Chicken when the camera is off? 😉😬
Wanting to protect people from narcissistic people isn't about the narcissist. You can tell she's the real deal bc she thinks that people speaking out is about hurting the narcissist and not understanding that it's about protecting innocents.
If you're speaking of victim channels (I'm not sure), they want you to see yourself as a victim (us vs. them). They rarely speak about the disorder and why these behaviors are projected outward while also empowering other to fix their own issues which led them to keep being harmed. Healing your own childhood trauma, noticing the red flags that are overlooked, and understand WHY you were trauma bonded will heal you. Calling a disordered person a demonic entity and you an angelic empath is not doing anyone any good.