My ex didn't classify his emotional affairs as affairs. His 'apology' was "well, if you feel like it's an affair, then I'm sorry." He just could not understand why betraying my emotions cut so much more deeply than him physically cheating. It was simply beyond his comprehension, or even his desire to comprehend.
In hindsight that all the apology anyone will ever get from a narcissist.. look it up it’s like they all took a short webinar or some shit .. they legit all use that same line . “” IF YOU FEEL THIS WAY- CANT HELP HOW YOU FEEL -- SORRY YOU FEEL LIKE I MADE YOU FEEL THIS WAY(the worst of them all cuz it’s manipulative word placement and manipulation of basic communication.. the word placement is the “I made” where it is now it’s pointing blame on the victim by insinuating they’re innocent and being wrongly accused.. if placed after “Sorry” I MADE you feel this way.. also word placement can be removal of words .. the basic common communication area is , again the placement of the word “SORRY” they say that first because they know you’re wanting them to apologize, feel remorse, empathy, regret , something .. so they start with the one word you not only want to hear but need to hear..
What makes that the most difficult is that he had no to little emotional energy for me, and was neglecting our relationship, yet he had it to give to someone else. That really hurt. I thought it was because I wasn’t pretty enough or skinny enough or whatever.
You’re secondary supply like the mother he wants to discard but he cannot separate or individuate from her/you since he’s just a child really… this also a sign of his emotional immaturity which will never ever change for anyone period. End of his story. No learning is possible. Unreachable. Unteachable. Powerlessness personified. But we can go no contact & realize it’s not us that’s truly unhealthy
@@caroleminke6116 Yeah, that’s probably true. I haven’t had any contact with him for over a year, and he hasn’t contacted me at all, and yeah, you’re right, it’s not fixable at all. I do still pray for him sometimes, though.
Mine had a secret on going emotional relationship with his ex. He will not admit to it, made me feel like his second choice and always defended her. My trust was blown and it destroyed our relationship. Him never taking accountability for the pain he caused me is not fixable. He even said "I want both of you, she's like a sister". It's weird because he has other female friends he never hid from me. You don't need to have sex to cheat on your partner.😢
The only connection I can think of is that both are based on the perpetrator’s undue emphasis of his/her own thoughts/emotions. In narcissistic abuse, perpetrators usually expresses the attitude that everything centers around them. They may object to that description and even insist that they don’t believe that; but, their actions say otherwise. Virtually everything you do/don’t do gets tied back to the perpetrator as a person. You’re either doing something right b/c you’re smart, capable, etc., or you’re intentionally doing it wrong in order to hurt/anger the perpetrator in some way. You are also likely to be accused of doing it wrong, even if you’re doing it right-again b/c of the perpetrator’s thoughts/emotions. Toxic positivity is generally not perpetrated with the intention to hurt anyone, and most wouldn’t even recognize it as being toxic/hurtful; but, in most cases, the perpetrator is still oblivious to the effect it has on others, and to the value of that effect. Narcissism is a psychological disorder and, with few exceptions, abuse is perpetrated with the tangible intention of causing harm. In contrast, toxic positivity is a behavioral flaw that is essentially an extreme version of selfishness, based in denial, and is generally perpetrated with the intention of maintaining and creating happiness. Most people are selfish, in some way or another. Toxic positivity is a subtle expression of selfishness-so subtle that even the perpetrator may not realize why it’s wrong b/c, after all, s/he is only seeking to encourage/uplift people. This is where denial comes in. Most people struggle/suffer, at some point or another. I believe that most people are also aware that there are people who experience more pain than they are aware of from their own lives. Denial allows people to look at someone who reminds them of themselves and assume that they cannot be justified in their suffering b/c the observer is not suffering. Denial also allows people who have suffered to deny the significance of other people’s suffering b/c it is notably different from their own, or b/c they perceive it as being notably different. From here, there are 2 extremes: One is for them to be semi-consciously abusive-meaning that they are generally aware that their actions are hurtful; but, they rationalize it as being justified. The other is to perpetrate toxic positivity-in which they are completely unaware that their actions are hurtful and it’s difficult for them to identify why they would be. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating spouse; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
So so so true. And even after over a year of no contact from a two year relationship I am still finding out more and more emotional affairs he had. It was far far worse than I even thought I knew. He has everyone fooled including his family of origin.
His emotional affairs hurt in the beginning, but as time passed, they gave me breathing room to plan and make my getaway. He keeps trying to come back because they don't meet all his needs. No matter what, I'm no contact, hoping his pain is as bad as what he did to me.
He was totally destroyed when she went back with her husband, left the company and moved away. He cried about her leaving for weeks, if not months! He assured me they had never had sex. He is clueless as to why that hurt and upset me then and still does.
He took away the intimacy in our marriage, gave it to multiple coworker women who his job required him to "support." I'm not sure he can repair the damage he did to my soul or our marriage.
This happened to me He is a support worker and female work colleagues are always phoning and texting after work. He said I have to support them. He went to a meeting with one of then who was called up for wrongful behaviour towards a client and came to work drunk.
That was exactly the story of my life when I was married to my ex narcissist husband his emotional girlfriend called me and told me all about what he was doing with them. Finally after 24 years of a so call marriage he told me that his happy time and normal life was with someone else. So after all the abuse mentality, emotionally and physically l finally got my divorce. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ son of God for delivering me 🙏 from that evil spirit person who claims to be Christian??? I hope he gets to enjoy his happy time and normal life 😊😊😊. Because for me life is beautiful again 😍 praises to the most high God is the greatest 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Please do a video about the woman having an affair with a narcissist. How he manipulates and lies and once he’s done the discard is so cruel. Like a switch from an Angel to the devil from one day to the next. So painful
Emotional affairs happen when they're friends with their exes (they go back to what's familiar to emotionally dump, but might not go back to a physical relationship). The affairs will happen even if you're friends with those same exes. It's like dealing with a bottomless pit where nothing will be enough.
This is exactly what my husband has been doing for years… he has created a harem online he keeps going back to despite saying he will stop. He claims it’s not cheating because it’s not physical (thiugh I feel in my gut it has been at some point). I almost feel dumb if it hasn’t like I’m making too big a deal but if his “entertainment “ ad he calls it is replacing me, it just absolutely guts me to my core. Especially the fact I keep catching him at it. I just don’t understand- I always tell him if he’s so unhappy then he should leave and we can move on with our lives but he refuses. It just makes me feel sick and worthless and defeated, knowing he’s basically picking this entertainment over his actual marriage and knowing how badly it betrays me.
Get away now you will be able to heal and love yourself and break the trauma bond he created. Mine did the same for years...they will never leave the relationship so they can play the victim. God bless you and keep your spirit strong and get away from the devil. Much love sis!! ❤
you can't make sense of it, because they don't make sense. we expect people to be like us, and do the "right" and "kind" thing (like get rid of online relationships that are hurtful to you) but you aren't remembering the narc will NEVER take your side and consider YOUR feelings or needs. it's all about HIM. he doesn't care. it's not YOUR fault- it's HIS problem. hope you break out. a man who deserves you wouldn't be ok with making you feeling bad about ANYTHING. he'd work to make you feel GREAT about EVERYTHING. don't fall for his b.s. it's all fake and he is choosing the highs of attention from random others, to you. he can't and won't change. cut your losses, ASAP.
It sure does hurt! It happened to me many times. Now I see it for what it is. He always said I never slept with anyone and that was supposed to make it alright I guess lol
Yup that is a piece of it. They can tell themself they are doing nothing wrong, and they can make YOU look insecure and jealous over platonic "friendships"
It makes sense absolutely! To my dispair 100%. Thanks Ben for confirming what my feelings told me many years! 🙏🏻⚘ My Ex had multiple emotional affairs with old and young patients of him and now I understand what you mean with his "highs". Sometimes he came home and even talked about one or the other overmentioning how great they were, until I could tell that something was not okay! He hurt me and laughed me out by saying I was too jealous. The truth is that he did it, not only because of his craving and showing himself as the perfect guy but on top he loved to triangulate so that I got unsettled🥴 I confronted him many times until I was exhausted and every time he devalidated my arguments. What I couldn't understand at that time was why he could tell me he loved me so much and at the same time could be so mean to me. And then I saw a video from Dr.Ramani for the very first time and I started to realize that he was a Covert Narzissist!
Thank you for sharing your story. I am going through a similar thing with my husband. finding comments and videos like this one help keep me focused on myself and not the gaslighting from the narcissist
@@artistinagarden You're so right! Keep focusing on yourself and strive to find the best decision. If I had known before what was really happening, I wouldn't have allowed his behavior so many years, but I really loved him, like I never loved anyone before and he knew it and sometimes as I doubtet about myself he reassured that he was right and that he loved me so much and that's why "he would be patient with me". Exactly the other-way-around from reality! He confused me and I started to misunderstand my own intuition! Like Dr.R. always says, they want to control the narrative and if you love them, you just want that everything will get better and so we try again and again. But as he started to rage more often because I caught him again and again by flirting and showing his low boundaries, than I could not deny the truth of his nature any longer. He would never get enough supply. He craved to be praised, admired and loved from so many others. And he did not care a all that that hurt me.😟 I became aware of his lack of remorse as he could NEVER regret his cheating on our love. And as I began reading one of Dr. Ramanis books "Should I stay or should I go" ... I knew the time had come to prepare my depart. It helps a lot if you take notes every time he devalidates you, denies something or just doesn't take your feelings or words seriously. I also wrote down the facts about his aggressive reactions. He could not apologize like a normal person. It felt to me as if he had some entitlement and could not be confronted with any mistake like other human beings! So I hope you keep strong and be safe🙏🏻🕯💫
My narc did this to a younger woman on FB but I kept telling her via HIS phone that he was lying to her! They did meet & he tried to sleep with her but she still didn’t get it 🤦♀️ finally I risked my own safety to get her to disconnect & see that he was lying to her… it was so scary for me because he’s physically abusive but I never blamed a naive person 20 years his junior for his sick behavior
Thank you!! You answered my burning question… WHY my narc husband had an emotional affair with a woman who was age of his mother. He kept saying that she understood him so well, only age difference. And how smart and wise, and unique she was. Then I heard their conversation on the phone… she pored him with compliments and admiration messages. I was feeling like a looser, who was unable to provide my husband with what needed. I tried harder and harder… It was weird , uncomfortable and confusing Thank you! It all made sense to me.
She told him what is programed in his head - grandiosity. YOu can never compete with that. It needs fresh supply 24/7... Why Schwarzenegger had affair with housekeeper? He had all world eating from his hand and that still was not enough. You can't compete with an empty soul :)))
I feel like this applies to most people who engage in emotional affairs outside of the relationship. Not just poeple who are narcissistic. Everyone who engages in an emotional affair are looking for some sort of supply or validation.
Because they're constantly on the prowl. It doesn't matter who or what you are. These people are predators. Don't let them fool you. I lived it and it won't work. Find a good man!
This is exactly how I realized that my husband's personality is on the narcissistic scale. When I found his conversations and interactions with multiple women online and confronted him about what he was doing, explained that it is an emotional affair and betrayal of our relationship he turns the blame onto me, I don't pay attention to him! He does not take any accountability and denies that his actions are cheating or any form of infidelity because it's not physical. He shows no empathy towards me when I explained how his actions and what he is doing breaks my heart and my trust. He continues to try and hide his phone and message, his chats are heavily based around sex fantasies, sending other women money online, going to lunch with them, and even being intimate with one of his ex's at a hotel room. The emotional interactions turned into physical when the opportunity was available. Thank you for sharing your story and helping me realize that I am not the reason for his behaviour!
My wife was the exact same .. when I mentioned Affair she immediately defended herself saying “I have not had sex with Daniel” I began to cry and she asked me why I was crying g so hard and I said … Because I asked if you was having an affair and gave you a couple of incidents and you jumped up from sitting while I’m on my knees holding your hands looking you in your eyes and before I can get anything else said .. what did you just say to me I forgot cuz I’m so upset.. (I didn’t forget I wanted her to say it again cuz I tapped “record” on my camera/phone) she replies .. OMG DANNY I TOLD YOU I HAVE NOT HAD SEX WITH DANIEL and I said … Angie.. I never mentioned Daniel’s name .. she turned 4 shades darker red and left for work(Daniel worked there too .. they were counselors for children transitioning back into their homes after being in foster care longer than 6months .. all field work.. salary .. be at someone’s house 1hr and to give the parents what they wanted the parents had to sign off on them being there 3-4hrs.. she ended up resigning his dumb ass denied til it came out and they fired him and stripping him of his license cuz he was the parent(s) counselor/ marital/mental/physical/.. etc..
So many silent treatments because I did not give him enough "attention"...as time passed I resented him and would physically stay away from him.(A drinker as well)....eventually he had SM emotional connections with other women....It IS confusing because I was blamed for his actions in the end.
They always blame shift to keep gaslighting your reality. Silent treatment is to regain control over you. Silence till you comply...do not comply go blank in your face give him Nothing. I pray you get away from this toxic creature!!
My ex-husband comes home with a dog one day. Told me his coworker's mother couldn't handle the dog. Dog was literally the devil; I should have known then! He decided to have an emotional affair with the coworker's mother who is over 70! Both of us at the time were early 30's. After I decided to leave and file for divorce, I found out from my then "best friend" (we're no longer friends) that indeed slept together and she was feeding him narcotics. That took a really long time for me to get over and honestly, I still get angry about it, but I know now, it wasn't me. I was not telling him he was the best husband, worker, friend because he absolutely was not!! I tried for many years to get us back on track, but the track was never true from the start, just an illusion!
My experience is narcissists don’t have positive emotions. If they are connecting with someone it’s because they want something. My ex has no friends and I don’t know if he actually ever had one.
My husband discarded me after years of emotional affairs and blamed me saying I hadn't been happy in years and wanted the divorce as well. I was so traumatized after decades of abuse that I still wanted the marriage.
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I have just broken off with a 7 year relationship with a Covert Narcissist. I am ruminating over all the hurt he has caused. He has emotional affairs with two of his exes and also female work colleagues. He put memories & photos on FB and has snuck off to their birthday party excluding me and Lying about it
Yes ! This is the unfortunate reality and took me a while to wrap my mind around but thankful I am on the other side of this bs and can now predict his next move on a daily basis
Thank you as well for your concept about "Ego-Boost" and that it doesn't have to do with the person in the romantic relationship (me). It helps to heal the pain and disconfort that he created.
Was love bombed. Emotional affair. Big learning curve along with figuring out a narcissist. Didn’t realize at first. I see a lot signs,but you gotta know what to look for.They don’t even know they are not hiding their narcissistic self.
@@2023wtfk yes she is in a marriage but she still bombed me. Decided that even with future faking I crossed a line but I wouldn’t like it if I was her husband. So I have ended any conversations or interaction.
Over the years I have found many messages of conversations & flirting with ex's..... but the usual claim is they are just friends. Like seriously how stupid does he think I am. I suspect he is still doing it but haven't seen any proof of it lately.
I like your transparency, but I would like to know if you have any content addressing the female narcissist? I do apply what I hear you say to my life as much as I can. For instance, I gained a ton of insight in the two videos of how the narc hides their affairs, Anyway, I am gaining an edge on what is being done to me, so for that, thanks
He would give her money, flowers and gifts. She would treat me badly and had expectations that his loyalty should be with her over me - his partner! She thinks he can do no wrong! When confronted I set boundary I was gaslit, told I was jealous and trying to place a wedge between their relationship..! No surprise I was stonewalled and eventually discarded
Narcissists' emotions in emotional affairs are like the emotions of actors who really get into their roles. As it is with everyone else, they never truly connect. Even if there seems to be a greater degree of vulnerability and intimacy, it's calculated, deceptive, and manipulative.
Jolene Jolene Jolene Jolene I'm begging of you please don't take my man Jolene Jolene Jolene Jolene please don't take him just because you can Dolly Parton "Jolene" circa era 1973
She was drinking and got into gambling. I caught her texting different men. Always drunk at 1am. She had so many reasons from convincing the man to take covid vaccine, to just wanting to talk to people because we had issues. Since there was no sex talk it was ok to her. Then it was my fault because I think she's like my ex wife who cheated.
We were very young and married, my narc ex told me he thought he was in love with another woman. Now, this woman was a second cousin so I didn't think anything of him hanging out with her. BUT, his father was having an affair with her mother! You just can't make this s* up!
@RawMotivations I'm fine. This was decades ago. But since I only recently found out about narcs, I'm revisiting old situations. Now everything makes sense. When the lightbulb came on, I was in shock.
So is it really not an emotional affair for the narcissist/serial cheater. It’s manufacturing a false reality for his supply. He knows it’s not real because he knows what he is doing.
"I am so beautiful, and you're d**d, you just don't know it yet." *click* On the latest episode of co-parenting with a narcissist who can't even have family time without texting his new supply 😂
I'm curious Ben about 1 thing you mentioned. When you said that a narcissist creates a false image to hide behind bc he doesn't like who he really is, why is that? Why doesn't he like who he really is? Is it bc he was belittled as a child, or he felt unloved as a child, or he didn't get the emotional validation he needed as a child growing up, or is it bc he knows he is not like most other people whether he knows that he may be narcissistic or not? I get that all of these could definitely be a cause if not more than 1. I'm just trying to understand why he would dislike who he really is so much that he would chose to pretend to be someone he isn't knowing that he would have to maintain that façade for the rest of his life. Why won't they just throw their hands up, get help to overcome their issues, so they can be "normal" and have a better more fulfilling life? I just can't understand why they would want to live the way they do when like in my case I have told my other half that life would be so much better for him (and me) if he would just grow, develop and become a better version of himself.
I was where you are right now so I can understand your concerns. The thing is a lot of them are perfectly fine and don't see anything wrong with how they are. The thing is in order for change you have to be able to self reflect, and take accountability and realize that there is a problem and I'm sorry but a lot of Narcissists don't do that! And for the covert type, it's way too painful and shameful to face their true identity! They prefer to wear the mask and pretend to feel like they have a place and some kind of belonging in this world! I'm still healing myself but I'm on a whole nother journey now. And you will get there I promise you! Once upon a time, I had those same questions because we cared for them and we wanted more out of them and we saw potential in them at least we thought. Here's the thing, we thought we saw potential because how kind, and loving they could be at times! They were great pretenders! When you get to a point where you could see that friendly side of them was manipulation and never was genuine! That's when you'll know you're pretty much at the top of your healing progress! Also when you no longer have questions about why they are the way that they are! It took me a long time to get to where I am at right now and I never got therapy but I wouldn't turn it down either! What helped me was spending more time with myself learning another version of who I truly am! Talking things out trying to figure out things, putting pieces to the puzzles, getting clarity on everything like what's making me constantly keep taking this person back even after discovering that he was a Narc! And once I got that discovery and understanding! That's when I knew in my soul that I was never going back! Guess what also happened? The urge and the craving for him went away! That's when I realized I solved my own puzzle! Sometimes you have to be your own therapist, but it took for me to be more intuitive to myself to get there! You will get there I promise you! 🙏
@@tamaragaines562 WOW!!! Thank you so much for your transparency and vulnerability on this platform. I can completely relate to everything you've said. I too am coming into the light at the end of the tunnel. I've been married for 18 years and discovered my husband was living a double life behind my back about 3 years ago for the majority of our then 15 years of marriage. I have done tons and tons of research these past 3 years just like you did trying to learn everything I could about my situation and what was causing my husband to do all the things he was doing. He really bamboozled me 100%. On top of that I learned a lot about personality types and how they interact with each other. He is an extremely strong obstinate ESTP and I am a very sensitive INFJ, so therefore we have had tons of arguments over these last 3 years. I have desperately tried not to label him as a narc bc he has never been diagnosed as one. He refuses therapy/counseling across the board. So the best conclusion I can come up with is that he has extremely high levels of narcissistic behavior. He is the most selfish, self-centered, rude and callous man I have ever met. It used to floor me the way he was even before the last 3 years with his overly confident nature and extremely tough skin. He could put anyone in their place and he didn't feel bad about it either. I tell ya, for me to say I have never met anyone like him is the cold hard truth!!! I couldn't believe that I could attract someone like him in my life but of course after all my research I realize how narcissistic men (as in my case) target their prey so to speak. I am definitely on my way out. We are pretty much done bc he refuses to grow, change and develop into a better man, husband and father to our 17 year old son. I can not live this way anymore. After all the lying and cheating he has done, at this point I am done as well. I am waiting for him to move out as my son and I will not be the ones to leave. And I will get the authorities involved if I have to. As a stubborn INFJ (LOL) I will not back down. He will leave or else. Thank you again for reaching out and I am so happy to hear that you have overcome and are in a much better place. I am currently in therapy to help heal my inner wounds. I know by the grace of God we will both be ok.
What about men who are gay but still had my total devotion emotionally. He has turned his back on me. Now when we run into each other he doesn’t even look at me. It is constantly tearing me up. Help.
What happens inside the narcs mind if they were publicly exposed as a cheater by the ex they were cheating on, and then the ex completely disappears (changes number/address/no social media)? Do they go through a recovery phase? My narc ex said I was the worst thing ever to happen to her when I exposed her.
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My husband was doing this with one of his ex's he said she listened to me and asked what she could do to help me. U didn't so I let it go and filed for my divorce
Hi Ben I want to know are you talking here about affairs online with women he doesn't know or even see or this is another issue because my husband discarded me and his life now is about talking to women online and having phesical affairs with other multiple women .does emosional affairs means online with women who doesn't know him
My husband always played the victim. My husband is 74 he is on medication so he can't have a physical affair. I can at the age of 72 and can and still be sexual active. But I don't demand or ask of him.
I really appreciate Ben's insight, granularity of his info, and his directness. I really dislike, however, how he refers to all narcissists as "he." I understand that men are at least diagnosed more with NPD, but there is some data that suggests that men have a higher prevalence of the traits as well. But the numbers do not tilt so heavily in favor of men that the incidence of female narcissists is minimal nor inconsequential. It's like he isn't aware that women narcissists out there. Not saying that he ought to account for both sexes every single time he uses a pronoun, just that it would be good to mix it up some, so people do not get an incorrect impression that all narcissists are male. Because that's kind of how his videos come across, if one watches many of them and all refer to only male N's and female partners. Love the info , otherwise!
He hits on some key points but he repeats himself to much using the same approach but using different words(some) it’s almost like what a narcissist would do to convince someone that what they’re doing isn’t what they’re being accused of.. idk like I said.. some key points but he missed on some more important points
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From my experience.... my husbands emotional affairs go through a cycle, I confront him, he deletes his online accounts, stops cold turkey but it never lasts, he starts back up with the attention seeking usually after a month or 2. Sometimes with the same women but usually adds in some new women each time. The physical part happened with someone different than his online girls, because it was someone tangible and available. I am positive it will happen again given the opportunity.
With someone I know, he already had been setting up the next woman for his use, at the front of the line of many women, ready for him to manipulate. (Although she was clueless, thinking he was this wonderful saved, church going man, either being the victim of issues in his life. Or him stepping in and being the fake hero for her from her failing marriage.) The day of or next day of his relationship breakup, the woman he had been setting up would be seen at his home or with him out in public. I could say so much about this man, mostly bad.
I have a emotional affair with God 😉. There is no such thing as emotional affairs it's more emotional closeness and support God wants us to have that with people . If you don't get it with people have a emotional affair with God he welcomes us with open arms . We as humans are made to emotionally connect to others you will feel it within. Yet sometimes people don't want to connect with you emotionally or want to grow with you in a beautiful way towards God then you put all your faith in God alone
Emotional affairs refer to the high narcs get from controlling the emotions of others because they’re unable to access higher levels of emotion such as love joy hope or peace which are the fruits of faith
@@caroleminke6116 That is caused by wounds Carole the narcissist had no control as a child . Now they want to control your emotions it's a sign the person isn't healed from past trauma . I have a family member we talked about it as well over the weekend she is a psychologist . Need to reparent also therapy works if you use the tools correctly .
![ลองสุ่มไอโฟน 990 โกงมั้ย? [ โกงมั้ยครับ ep.101 ] | DOM](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/bfsWe0j492k/mqdefault.jpg)
If they put this much time and energy into their own marriage or relationship it wouldn’t be in shambles. 🤬
Exactly what I said
If they are a narcissist, they marriage will always be in shambles of some sort. They will sabotage everything
A REAL man don't love a Million Women, They Love ONE woman in a Million Way's!
Facts 💯
My ex didn't classify his emotional affairs as affairs. His 'apology' was "well, if you feel like it's an affair, then I'm sorry." He just could not understand why betraying my emotions cut so much more deeply than him physically cheating. It was simply beyond his comprehension, or even his desire to comprehend.
In hindsight that all the apology anyone will ever get from a narcissist.. look it up it’s like they all took a short webinar or some shit .. they legit all use that same line . “” IF YOU FEEL THIS WAY- CANT HELP HOW YOU FEEL -- SORRY YOU FEEL LIKE I MADE YOU FEEL THIS WAY(the worst of them all cuz it’s manipulative word placement and manipulation of basic communication.. the word placement is the “I made” where it is now it’s pointing blame on the victim by insinuating they’re innocent and being wrongly accused.. if placed after “Sorry” I MADE you feel this way.. also word placement can be removal of words .. the basic common communication area is , again the placement of the word “SORRY” they say that first because they know you’re wanting them to apologize, feel remorse, empathy, regret , something .. so they start with the one word you not only want to hear but need to hear..
What makes that the most difficult is that he had no to little emotional energy for me, and was neglecting our relationship, yet he had it to give to someone else. That really hurt. I thought it was because I wasn’t pretty enough or skinny enough or whatever.
You’re secondary supply like the mother he wants to discard but he cannot separate or individuate from her/you since he’s just a child really… this also a sign of his emotional immaturity which will never ever change for anyone period. End of his story. No learning is possible. Unreachable. Unteachable. Powerlessness personified. But we can go no contact & realize it’s not us that’s truly unhealthy
Same here! He offered expensive hotel and dates to some women he kept chasing on websites. Now I know why.
@@magdalenafijalkowska9251 I’m sorry.😢
@@caroleminke6116 Yeah, that’s probably true. I haven’t had any contact with him for over a year, and he hasn’t contacted me at all, and yeah, you’re right, it’s not fixable at all. I do still pray for him sometimes, though.
That is exactly what I experienced too. I always blamed myself.
These people have issues
The best revenge is them actually seeing u happy with someone else trust they cant handle that shit .
Mine had a secret on going emotional relationship with his ex. He will not admit to it, made me feel like his second choice and always defended her. My trust was blown and it destroyed our relationship. Him never taking accountability for the pain he caused me is not fixable.
He even said "I want both of you, she's like a sister". It's weird because he has other female friends he never hid from me. You don't need to have sex to cheat on your partner.😢
The only connection I can think of is that both are based on the perpetrator’s undue emphasis of his/her own thoughts/emotions. In narcissistic abuse, perpetrators usually expresses the attitude that everything centers around them. They may object to that description and even insist that they don’t believe that; but, their actions say otherwise. Virtually everything you do/don’t do gets tied back to the perpetrator as a person. You’re either doing something right b/c you’re smart, capable, etc., or you’re intentionally doing it wrong in order to hurt/anger the perpetrator in some way. You are also likely to be accused of doing it wrong, even if you’re doing it right-again b/c of the perpetrator’s thoughts/emotions. Toxic positivity is generally not perpetrated with the intention to hurt anyone, and most wouldn’t even recognize it as being toxic/hurtful; but, in most cases, the perpetrator is still oblivious to the effect it has on others, and to the value of that effect. Narcissism is a psychological disorder and, with few exceptions, abuse is perpetrated with the tangible intention of causing harm. In contrast, toxic positivity is a behavioral flaw that is essentially an extreme version of selfishness, based in denial, and is generally perpetrated with the intention of maintaining and creating happiness. Most people are selfish, in some way or another. Toxic positivity is a subtle expression of selfishness-so subtle that even the perpetrator may not realize why it’s wrong b/c, after all, s/he is only seeking to encourage/uplift people. This is where denial comes in. Most people struggle/suffer, at some point or another. I believe that most people are also aware that there are people who experience more pain than they are aware of from their own lives. Denial allows people to look at someone who reminds them of themselves and assume that they cannot be justified in their suffering b/c the observer is not suffering. Denial also allows people who have suffered to deny the significance of other people’s suffering b/c it is notably different from their own, or b/c they perceive it as being notably different. From here, there are 2 extremes: One is for them to be semi-consciously abusive-meaning that they are generally aware that their actions are hurtful; but, they rationalize it as being justified. The other is to perpetrate toxic positivity-in which they are completely unaware that their actions are hurtful and it’s difficult for them to identify why they would be. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating spouse; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
So so so true. And even after over a year of no contact from a two year relationship I am still finding out more and more emotional affairs he had. It was far far worse than I even thought I knew. He has everyone fooled including his family of origin.
I'm 62. After the fact, I ALWAYS find out that it was worse than I knew.
His emotional affairs hurt in the beginning, but as time passed, they gave me breathing room to plan and make my getaway. He keeps trying to come back because they don't meet all his needs. No matter what, I'm no contact, hoping his pain is as bad as what he did to me.
I understand the breathing room, I have a few years of planing before i can get out of this and appreciate the breathing room! I get it!
Yes yes. Sometimes it’s thank yu mistress🎉🎉
He was totally destroyed when she went back with her husband, left the company and moved away. He cried about her leaving for weeks, if not months! He assured me they had never had sex. He is clueless as to why that hurt and upset me then and still does.
He took away the intimacy in our marriage, gave it to multiple coworker women who his job required him to "support." I'm not sure he can repair the damage he did to my soul or our marriage.
This happened to me
He is a support worker and female work colleagues are always phoning and texting after work. He said I have to support them.
He went to a meeting with one of then who was called up for wrongful behaviour towards a client and came to work drunk.
That was exactly the story of my life when I was married to my ex narcissist husband his emotional girlfriend called me and told me all about what he was doing with them. Finally after 24 years of a so call marriage he told me that his happy time and normal life was with someone else. So after all the abuse mentality, emotionally and physically l finally got my divorce. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ son of God for delivering me 🙏 from that evil spirit person who claims to be Christian??? I hope he gets to enjoy his happy time and normal life 😊😊😊. Because for me life is beautiful again 😍 praises to the most high God is the greatest 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Wow finally clarification ❤ no one ever talks about emotional affairs with a narcissist. The other woman stays so broken too
Please do a video about the woman having an affair with a narcissist. How he manipulates and lies and once he’s done the discard is so cruel. Like a switch from an Angel to the devil from one day to the next. So painful
Emotional affairs happen when they're friends with their exes (they go back to what's familiar to emotionally dump, but might not go back to a physical relationship). The affairs will happen even if you're friends with those same exes. It's like dealing with a bottomless pit where nothing will be enough.
This is exactly what my husband has been doing for years… he has created a harem online he keeps going back to despite saying he will stop. He claims it’s not cheating because it’s not physical (thiugh I feel in my gut it has been at some point). I almost feel dumb if it hasn’t like I’m making too big a deal but if his “entertainment “ ad he calls it is replacing me, it just absolutely guts me to my core. Especially the fact I keep catching him at it. I just don’t understand- I always tell him if he’s so unhappy then he should leave and we can move on with our lives but he refuses. It just makes me feel sick and worthless and defeated, knowing he’s basically picking this entertainment over his actual marriage and knowing how badly it betrays me.
You need to leave now
Get away now you will be able to heal and love yourself and break the trauma bond he created. Mine did the same for years...they will never leave the relationship so they can play the victim. God bless you and keep your spirit strong and get away from the devil. Much love sis!! ❤
It's not you, it's never been you... he is broken.
Make a plan and leave , Will not get better it's an endless cycle. Value your life and time leave him !!!
you can't make sense of it, because they don't make sense. we expect people to be like us, and do the "right" and "kind" thing (like get rid of online relationships that are hurtful to you) but you aren't remembering the narc will NEVER take your side and consider YOUR feelings or needs. it's all about HIM. he doesn't care. it's not YOUR fault- it's HIS problem. hope you break out. a man who deserves you wouldn't be ok with making you feeling bad about ANYTHING. he'd work to make you feel GREAT about EVERYTHING. don't fall for his b.s. it's all fake and he is choosing the highs of attention from random others, to you. he can't and won't change. cut your losses, ASAP.
It sure does hurt! It happened to me many times. Now I see it for what it is. He always said I never slept with anyone and that was supposed to make it alright I guess lol
Yup that is a piece of it. They can tell themself they are doing nothing wrong, and they can make YOU look insecure and jealous over platonic "friendships"
Oh my gosh! What you say is absolutely true!! 😢
And it’s probably a lie.
oh yes, we had a whole list of "but it doesn't count if.... " in his head. So he "never".. but really he did.
It makes sense absolutely! To my dispair 100%. Thanks Ben for confirming what my feelings told me many years! 🙏🏻⚘
My Ex had multiple emotional affairs with old and young patients of him and now I understand what you mean with his "highs". Sometimes he came home and even talked about one or the other overmentioning how great they were, until I could tell that something was not okay! He hurt me and laughed me out by saying I was too jealous. The truth is that he did it, not only because of his craving and showing himself as the perfect guy but on top he loved to triangulate so that I got unsettled🥴 I confronted him many times until I was exhausted and every time he devalidated my arguments. What I couldn't understand at that time was why he could tell me he loved me so much and at the same time could be so mean to me. And then I saw a video from Dr.Ramani for the very first time and I started to realize that he was a Covert Narzissist!
Thank you for sharing your story. I am going through a similar thing with my husband. finding comments and videos like this one help keep me focused on myself and not the gaslighting from the narcissist
@@artistinagarden You're so right! Keep focusing on yourself and strive to find the best decision. If I had known before what was really happening, I wouldn't have allowed his behavior so many years, but I really loved him, like I never loved anyone before and he knew it and sometimes as I doubtet about myself he reassured that he was right and that he loved me so much and that's why "he would be patient with me". Exactly the other-way-around from reality! He confused me and I started to misunderstand my own intuition!
Like Dr.R. always says, they want to control the narrative and if you love them, you just want that everything will get better and so we try again and again. But as he started to rage more often because I caught him again and again by flirting and showing his low boundaries, than I could not deny the truth of his nature any longer. He would never get enough supply. He craved to be praised, admired and loved from so many others. And he did not care a all that that hurt me.😟
I became aware of his lack of remorse as he could NEVER regret his cheating on our love. And as I began reading one of Dr. Ramanis books "Should I stay or should I go" ... I knew the time had come to prepare my depart. It helps a lot if you take notes every time he devalidates you, denies something or just doesn't take your feelings or words seriously. I also wrote down the facts about his aggressive reactions. He could not apologize like a normal person. It felt to me as if he had some entitlement and could not be confronted with any mistake like other human beings!
So I hope you keep strong and be safe🙏🏻🕯💫
My narc did this to a younger woman on FB but I kept telling her via HIS phone that he was lying to her! They did meet & he tried to sleep with her but she still didn’t get it 🤦♀️ finally I risked my own safety to get her to disconnect & see that he was lying to her… it was so scary for me because he’s physically abusive but I never blamed a naive person 20 years his junior for his sick behavior
Thank you!! You answered my burning question… WHY my narc husband had an emotional affair with a woman who was age of his mother. He kept saying that she understood him so well, only age difference. And how smart and wise, and unique she was. Then I heard their conversation on the phone… she pored him with compliments and admiration messages. I was feeling like a looser, who was unable to provide my husband with what needed. I tried harder and harder… It was weird , uncomfortable and confusing Thank you! It all made sense to me.
She told him what is programed in his head - grandiosity. YOu can never compete with that. It needs fresh supply 24/7...
Why Schwarzenegger had affair with housekeeper? He had all world eating from his hand and that still was not enough. You can't compete with an empty soul :)))
Yep ! Doesn't matter their age or looks,They will have Anyone that pays them attention Validates praises etc etc.
My ex had emotional affairs with 2 women 18 years younger than him when we were together. He doesn't think it's cheating.
Yep, and sometimes multiple pieces of cake! Watch out!
I feel like this applies to most people who engage in emotional affairs outside of the relationship. Not just poeple who are narcissistic. Everyone who engages in an emotional affair are looking for some sort of supply or validation.
Fucking always as we are being treated like shit
Because they're constantly on the prowl. It doesn't matter who or what you are. These people are predators. Don't let them fool you. I lived it and it won't work. Find a good man!
This is exactly how I realized that my husband's personality is on the narcissistic scale. When I found his conversations and interactions with multiple women online and confronted him about what he was doing, explained that it is an emotional affair and betrayal of our relationship he turns the blame onto me, I don't pay attention to him! He does not take any accountability and denies that his actions are cheating or any form of infidelity because it's not physical. He shows no empathy towards me when I explained how his actions and what he is doing breaks my heart and my trust. He continues to try and hide his phone and message, his chats are heavily based around sex fantasies, sending other women money online, going to lunch with them, and even being intimate with one of his ex's at a hotel room. The emotional interactions turned into physical when the opportunity was available. Thank you for sharing your story and helping me realize that I am not the reason for his behaviour!
❤😮
My wife was the exact same .. when I mentioned Affair she immediately defended herself saying “I have not had sex with Daniel” I began to cry and she asked me why I was crying g so hard and I said … Because I asked if you was having an affair and gave you a couple of incidents and you jumped up from sitting while I’m on my knees holding your hands looking you in your eyes and before I can get anything else said .. what did you just say to me I forgot cuz I’m so upset.. (I didn’t forget I wanted her to say it again cuz I tapped “record” on my camera/phone) she replies .. OMG DANNY I TOLD YOU I HAVE NOT HAD SEX WITH DANIEL and I said … Angie.. I never mentioned Daniel’s name .. she turned 4 shades darker red and left for work(Daniel worked there too .. they were counselors for children transitioning back into their homes after being in foster care longer than 6months .. all field work.. salary .. be at someone’s house 1hr and to give the parents what they wanted the parents had to sign off on them being there 3-4hrs.. she ended up resigning his dumb ass denied til it came out and they fired him and stripping him of his license cuz he was the parent(s) counselor/ marital/mental/physical/.. etc..
So many silent treatments because I did not give him enough "attention"...as time passed I resented him and would physically stay away from him.(A drinker as well)....eventually he had SM emotional connections with other women....It IS confusing because I was blamed for his actions in the end.
Silent treatment 🤢
They always blame shift to keep gaslighting your reality. Silent treatment is to regain control over you. Silence till you comply...do not comply go blank in your face give him Nothing. I pray you get away from this toxic creature!!
In the case of my Ex it started off with a physical affair and then became an emotional one which lasted for a year till it fizzled out.
My ex-husband comes home with a dog one day. Told me his coworker's mother couldn't handle the dog. Dog was literally the devil; I should have known then! He decided to have an emotional affair with the coworker's mother who is over 70! Both of us at the time were early 30's. After I decided to leave and file for divorce, I found out from my then "best friend" (we're no longer friends) that indeed slept together and she was feeding him narcotics. That took a really long time for me to get over and honestly, I still get angry about it, but I know now, it wasn't me. I was not telling him he was the best husband, worker, friend because he absolutely was not!! I tried for many years to get us back on track, but the track was never true from the start, just an illusion!
My experience is narcissists don’t have positive emotions. If they are connecting with someone it’s because they want something. My ex has no friends and I don’t know if he actually ever had one.
My husband discarded me after years of emotional affairs and blamed me saying I hadn't been happy in years and wanted the divorce as well. I was so traumatized after decades of abuse that I still wanted the marriage.
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I have just broken off with a 7 year relationship with a Covert Narcissist.
I am ruminating over all the hurt he has caused.
He has emotional affairs with two of his exes and also female work colleagues.
He put memories & photos on FB
and has snuck off to their birthday party excluding me and Lying about it
Nailed it!! Thank you! Full respect to you for helping people like me!
Happy to help!
Yes ! This is the unfortunate reality and took me a while to wrap my mind around but thankful I am on the other side of this bs and can now predict his next move on a daily basis
Thank you as well for your concept about "Ego-Boost" and that it doesn't have to do with the person in the romantic relationship (me). It helps to heal the pain and disconfort that he created.
Was love bombed. Emotional affair. Big learning curve along with figuring out a narcissist. Didn’t realize at first. I see a lot signs,but you gotta know what to look for.They don’t even know they are not hiding their narcissistic self.
So was the other person in a relationship? If they were did you tell their partner
@@2023wtfk yes she is in a marriage but she still bombed me. Decided that even with future faking I crossed a line but I wouldn’t like it if I was her husband. So I have ended any conversations or interaction.
A very strong connection to people he didn't know by watching them on p0rn channels even though he said that he never did
This video makes so much sense. It is exactly what I thought all along. Thank you.💛💪🏾😍
Yep, was horrible.
My reality for the last 15 years of a multiple decade marriage.
Over the years I have found many messages of conversations & flirting with ex's..... but the usual claim is they are just friends. Like seriously how stupid does he think I am. I suspect he is still doing it but haven't seen any proof of it lately.
My situation you’re hitting the nail right on the head. Thanks!!! This helped me gain some clarity…
I appreciate your channel because you explain common things that aren't mentioned and in a way that's easy to understand. Thank you.
I appreciate that! Thank you
I like your transparency, but I would like to know if you have any content addressing the female narcissist? I do apply what I hear you say to my life as much as I can. For instance, I gained a ton of insight in the two videos of how the narc hides their affairs, Anyway, I am gaining an edge on what is being done to me, so for that, thanks
I don’t
He would give her money, flowers and gifts. She would treat me badly and had expectations that his loyalty should be with her over me - his partner! She thinks he can do no wrong! When confronted I set boundary I was gaslit, told I was jealous and trying to place a wedge between their relationship..! No surprise I was stonewalled and eventually discarded
Narcissists' emotions in emotional affairs are like the emotions of actors who really get into their roles. As it is with everyone else, they never truly connect. Even if there seems to be a greater degree of vulnerability and intimacy, it's calculated, deceptive, and manipulative.
Thank you this was so clear to me
I'm so glad!
Jolene Jolene Jolene Jolene I'm begging of you please don't take my man Jolene Jolene Jolene Jolene please don't take him just because you can Dolly Parton "Jolene" circa era 1973
She was drinking and got into gambling. I caught her texting different men. Always drunk at 1am. She had so many reasons from convincing the man to take covid vaccine, to just wanting to talk to people because we had issues. Since there was no sex talk it was ok to her. Then it was my fault because I think she's like my ex wife who cheated.
We were very young and married, my narc ex told me he thought he was in love with another woman. Now, this woman was a second cousin so I didn't think anything of him hanging out with her.
BUT, his father was having an affair with her mother! You just can't make this s* up!
sorry to hear that happened, hope you are finding ways to heal
@RawMotivations I'm fine. This was decades ago. But since I only recently found out about narcs, I'm revisiting old situations. Now everything makes sense. When the lightbulb came on, I was in shock.
Mine used his own stepdaughter weird af and he recycled his exes
Yes!😢
So is it really not an emotional affair for the narcissist/serial cheater. It’s manufacturing a false reality for his supply. He knows it’s not real because he knows what he is doing.
Its real if it's his ex.
"I am so beautiful, and you're d**d, you just don't know it yet." *click*
On the latest episode of co-parenting with a narcissist who can't even have family time without texting his new supply 😂
This question I asked myself many times if my narc is not giving me emotional support where he is getting his emotional support?
I'm curious Ben about 1 thing you mentioned. When you said that a narcissist creates a false image to hide behind bc he doesn't like who he really is, why is that? Why doesn't he like who he really is? Is it bc he was belittled as a child, or he felt unloved as a child, or he didn't get the emotional validation he needed as a child growing up, or is it bc he knows he is not like most other people whether he knows that he may be narcissistic or not? I get that all of these could definitely be a cause if not more than 1. I'm just trying to understand why he would dislike who he really is so much that he would chose to pretend to be someone he isn't knowing that he would have to maintain that façade for the rest of his life. Why won't they just throw their hands up, get help to overcome their issues, so they can be "normal" and have a better more fulfilling life? I just can't understand why they would want to live the way they do when like in my case I have told my other half that life would be so much better for him (and me) if he would just grow, develop and become a better version of himself.
I was where you are right now so I can understand your concerns. The thing is a lot of them are perfectly fine and don't see anything wrong with how they are. The thing is in order for change you have to be able to self reflect, and take accountability and realize that there is a problem and I'm sorry but a lot of Narcissists don't do that! And for the covert type, it's way too painful and shameful to face their true identity! They prefer to wear the mask and pretend to feel like they have a place and some kind of belonging in this world! I'm still healing myself but I'm on a whole nother journey now. And you will get there I promise you! Once upon a time, I had those same questions because we cared for them and we wanted more out of them and we saw potential in them at least we thought. Here's the thing, we thought we saw potential because how kind, and loving they could be at times! They were great pretenders! When you get to a point where you could see that friendly side of them was manipulation and never was genuine! That's when you'll know you're pretty much at the top of your healing progress! Also when you no longer have questions about why they are the way that they are! It took me a long time to get to where I am at right now and I never got therapy but I wouldn't turn it down either! What helped me was spending more time with myself learning another version of who I truly am! Talking things out trying to figure out things, putting pieces to the puzzles, getting clarity on everything like what's making me constantly keep taking this person back even after discovering that he was a Narc! And once I got that discovery and understanding! That's when I knew in my soul that I was never going back! Guess what also happened? The urge and the craving for him went away! That's when I realized I solved my own puzzle! Sometimes you have to be your own therapist, but it took for me to be more intuitive to myself to get there! You will get there I promise you! 🙏
@@tamaragaines562 WOW!!! Thank you so much for your transparency and vulnerability on this platform. I can completely relate to everything you've said. I too am coming into the light at the end of the tunnel. I've been married for 18 years and discovered my husband was living a double life behind my back about 3 years ago for the majority of our then 15 years of marriage. I have done tons and tons of research these past 3 years just like you did trying to learn everything I could about my situation and what was causing my husband to do all the things he was doing. He really bamboozled me 100%. On top of that I learned a lot about personality types and how they interact with each other. He is an extremely strong obstinate ESTP and I am a very sensitive INFJ, so therefore we have had tons of arguments over these last 3 years. I have desperately tried not to label him as a narc bc he has never been diagnosed as one. He refuses therapy/counseling across the board. So the best conclusion I can come up with is that he has extremely high levels of narcissistic behavior. He is the most selfish, self-centered, rude and callous man I have ever met. It used to floor me the way he was even before the last 3 years with his overly confident nature and extremely tough skin. He could put anyone in their place and he didn't feel bad about it either. I tell ya, for me to say I have never met anyone like him is the cold hard truth!!! I couldn't believe that I could attract someone like him in my life but of course after all my research I realize how narcissistic men (as in my case) target their prey so to speak. I am definitely on my way out. We are pretty much done bc he refuses to grow, change and develop into a better man, husband and father to our 17 year old son. I can not live this way anymore. After all the lying and cheating he has done, at this point I am done as well. I am waiting for him to move out as my son and I will not be the ones to leave. And I will get the authorities involved if I have to. As a stubborn INFJ (LOL) I will not back down. He will leave or else. Thank you again for reaching out and I am so happy to hear that you have overcome and are in a much better place. I am currently in therapy to help heal my inner wounds. I know by the grace of God we will both be ok.
My covert Narcissist husband was/is having an emotional affair with another Narcissist. What are the chances of them living happily ever after?
Probably be fine - neither of them will give a damn and when one is bored both will move on
What about men who are gay but still had my total devotion emotionally. He has turned his back on me. Now when we run into each other he doesn’t even look at me. It is constantly tearing me up. Help.
Here’s a question ? Do the other supply’s … b grade supply etc know about A grade supply or does the narc hide all the affairs from each other ?
Why do narcissist have to have contact with his xs
What happens inside the narcs mind if they were publicly exposed as a cheater by the ex they were cheating on, and then the ex completely disappears (changes number/address/no social media)? Do they go through a recovery phase? My narc ex said I was the worst thing ever to happen to her when I exposed her.
Its' like a freakout panic piece of how to save face
will make a video on this, meantime hope this video helps th-cam.com/video/vdxJiQJq5jU/w-d-xo.htmlsi=qnlN20cTd6-_mjl3
This sounds like a lot of teachers or doctors out there.
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So when does my narcissist husband stop having emotional affairs behind my back?? Its been 17 years & he's still doing it.. Do they ever stop???
He lived with a girl, for about a year. Then he moved her to another state. But he has contact with her.
My husband was doing this with one of his ex's he said she listened to me and asked what she could do to help me. U didn't so I let it go and filed for my divorce
Hi Ben I want to know are you talking here about affairs online with women he doesn't know or even see or this is another issue because my husband discarded me and his life now is about talking to women online and having phesical affairs with other multiple women .does emosional affairs means online with women who doesn't know him
Emotional online affairs lead to physical encounters
My husband always played the victim. My husband is 74 he is on medication so he can't have a physical affair. I can at the age of 72 and can and still be sexual active. But I don't demand or ask of him.
I really appreciate Ben's insight, granularity of his info, and his directness. I really dislike, however, how he refers to all narcissists as "he." I understand that men are at least diagnosed more with NPD, but there is some data that suggests that men have a higher prevalence of the traits as well. But the numbers do not tilt so heavily in favor of men that the incidence of female narcissists is minimal nor inconsequential. It's like he isn't aware that women narcissists out there.
Not saying that he ought to account for both sexes every single time he uses a pronoun, just that it would be good to mix it up some, so people do not get an incorrect impression that all narcissists are male. Because that's kind of how his videos come across, if one watches many of them and all refer to only male N's and female partners.
Love the info , otherwise!
I need someone to talk to about this
Do they go back to the same affair partner’s?
He hits on some key points but he repeats himself to much using the same approach but using different words(some) it’s almost like what a narcissist would do to convince someone that what they’re doing isn’t what they’re being accused of.. idk like I said.. some key points but he missed on some more important points
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What is the course these emotional affairs take? You mentioned they usually become physical, how long do they tend to last, etc?
Depends on the person
From my experience.... my husbands emotional affairs go through a cycle, I confront him, he deletes his online accounts, stops cold turkey but it never lasts, he starts back up with the attention seeking usually after a month or 2. Sometimes with the same women but usually adds in some new women each time. The physical part happened with someone different than his online girls, because it was someone tangible and available. I am positive it will happen again given the opportunity.
With someone I know, he already had been setting up the next woman for his use, at the front of the line of many women, ready for him to manipulate. (Although she was clueless, thinking he was this wonderful saved, church going man, either being the victim of issues in his life. Or him stepping in and being the fake hero for her from her failing marriage.) The day of or next day of his relationship breakup, the woman he had been setting up would be seen at his home or with him out in public. I could say so much about this man, mostly bad.
How did you wife find out about your infidelity? How did she approach you to get you to confess???
I told her.
I have a emotional affair with God 😉. There is no such thing as emotional affairs it's more emotional closeness and support God wants us to have that with people . If you don't get it with people have a emotional affair with God he welcomes us with open arms . We as humans are made to emotionally connect to others you will feel it within. Yet sometimes people don't want to connect with you emotionally or want to grow with you in a beautiful way towards God then you put all your faith in God alone
With all due respect, you have no idea what you're talking about.
Emotional affairs refer to the high narcs get from controlling the emotions of others because they’re unable to access higher levels of emotion such as love joy hope or peace which are the fruits of faith
@@caroleminke6116 That is caused by wounds Carole the narcissist had no control as a child . Now they want to control your emotions it's a sign the person isn't healed from past trauma . I have a family member we talked about it as well over the weekend she is a psychologist . Need to reparent also therapy works if you use the tools correctly .
Or the girlfriend too. You do a good job but girls can be narcissist too lol
The worse time was when his son committed suicide.
He turned to the Mother of one of his sons.