If you’re struggling, consider therapy with BetterHelp #ad. Click betterhelp.com/nakedguru for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy with a credentialed professional specific to your needs. CHAPTERS 👇👇👇 👉 WHY EXPAT: th-cam.com/video/UEpcvcFVCD0/w-d-xo.html 👉 OUR FULL STORY IN UNDER 20 MINS: th-cam.com/video/6ctdGJqBaUg/w-d-xo.html 👉 OUR COTTAGE BUILD: tinyurl.com/bdd8uh3a 00:00 Intro 04:32 My Days As An Alcoholic 13:56 Expats Going Broke By Buying A Bar 15:14 Expats Going Broke Through Love
Mate, top marks for honesty. I can see you're genuine. You even posted detracting comments. Well done. I'm sure many would welcome a video of how folk get off the drink (like you did). It's easier said than done. I have an old mate out there. I advise him to try: Don't drink until 7pm? Ok, but what then after 1 leads to two and so on? Exercise -what then after? Get a job -again, what then after in the evening? These are the typical responses I've had from him. Drying out is not easy and even quacks recommend don't stop completely after drinking hard for so many years cos it could have serious health issues in just cutting it off. Best I suggested is to buy, say, half a bottle of whiskey instead of the full bottle at around 9pm. In Thailand, no beer after midnight so that's all he is getting for the night. In Vietnam, however, beer is 24 hours in many open shops. I bet many more suffer there. It's dangerous and I feel this issue needs to be deeply addressed before many suffer death by the bottle. I heard about weed and kratom out there. They are legal? The latter is said to be good for weening off the drink.
Super interesting. Today I see a humble, patient, reflective bloke. I just can't reconcile in my head the raucous, hedonistic boozehound Ryan of years past. I certainly know which Ryan I'd prefer to have a coffee with. Well done lad, you seem to have found yourself...by necessity or almost by accident...doesn't really matter....bin those thoughts of rivers of gold....live that life of simplicity.....nothing more important than clean water and the next meal.
You can put me in the successful column after 27 years of love and companionship with my wife. Of course it helped that I had 20 years of experience here and spoke the language before we met. I think you are correct in saying people need to sort out their problems before they come here because Thailand will only amplify any issues you have. Thailand is not really the problem, however, it is the guys who come to Thailand who are the problem but they prefer blaming someone else. I should perhaps qualify my remarks by mentioning that I never suffered any trauma or addictions, with the possible exception being girls, in my 20s and 30s in Bangkok.
We can all benefit from the way you live your life with the wisdom of simplicity and the way you and Demo raise your lovely boys ! Much love from your Dutch friend in California 💕🙏🌷👍👍
Very heartfelt message ❤ I’m 24 years sober, married to a Thai man for 7 adventurous years. The beginning was rocky and we almost didn’t make it, but something clicked in the both of us and we haven’t argued in years. I’m in the USA and I have seen a few “green card whisperers” among my friendships here, not just from Thailand, but all over the world. I think it comes down to being a successful partner in the relationship that will make everything else secondary. If there’s no success to be had, then there’s no relationship. Some reasons that I saw failed interracial relationships were huge age gaps, financial expectations, and race fetishizing.
Thanks for this video brother, everything you say resonates with me,I know I will beat my alcohol addiction, much love ❤️Thanks for your great content 😀
I still like a beer occasionally but on a recent visit to Thailand I enjoyed drinking smoothies more than beers. Good luck James and always remind yourself that nothing positive comes from drunkenness.
I drank when I was living in the UK before I moved to Thailand. I was going down the wrong road the first year I lived in Thailand and my wife told me I had to stop. 7 years sober now back in England in England and back to drinking beer 😞 but no way near where I was before. Just need a Drink to get through working all the time on building sites
Ive had 3 Thai girlfriends over 15 years ,Yao ,Pang and Jan ,,All amazing woman that I will never ever forget . They all changed my life for the better .
Im glad you decided to share Better Help. There was a time when I was very confident and focused and determined but knew thete was something off. Therapy, both couples and personal really opened many doors for me. Because I learned about myself allowed me to learn and understand others much more clearly. Finding myself was the key to understand what I wanted for me, not everyone else. Most escapes... alcohol, drugs, gambling, video etc is just that, an escape. Thailand certainly fits into the escape to paradise...but you are still present...stop running, stand still and find yourself first...and of course, its not easy. Good Vlog.
I started in the fire service in the 80s. The drinking culture was massive, I saw many alcoholics come to grief. .marriage, home and eventually the job they loved. .one thing I noticed was that many of those were the most intelligent people on the station
Sometimes I think that the very intelligent people are prone to alcohol abuse because they can see the big picture of the system and just cannot bear it anymore.
I've noticed this , in both the military and oil and gas industry . Alot of substance abuse and alcohol but they're still very functional and good at what they do !
Alcohol mask past trauma or guilt, when bored in Thailand after newness wears off drinking increases, Ive been sober 2 years best decision ive made im 62, My wife banned me from our 1 month in Koh Chang every winter was getting drunk and chasing bar girls, almost divorced.
My receipe: 1/ Don't own anything in Thailand. Rent everything (car, home and furniture). 2/ Keep all your liquid assets outside of the country and transfer into Thailand what you need for the following month. 3/ Shack up if you want (in your rental condo, villa or her place) but never marry. 4/ Don't shack up with anyone with young children. If you are a 50 year old expat... you should not be dating or living with a 30 year old Thai woman. That solves the aging parents and young children issue.. your partner likely won't have any if she is in her mid forties. 4/ Never give your Thai partner a credit card... only a bank card or cash. If you are a stable guy, with resources and no addictions, she will accept what you offer as she will figure out that you are the best thing she has on offer. If it all goes south ... get back online and do it all over again... same recipe with the next lucky lady. That's the point here... she is the lucky one... not you. They may not be happy with your "recipe".. but they will accept it - in time.
@@wanmaneeseeutha1294 Yes I agree. Lots of wonderful women. But lots of horror stories too!!! Thailand favours the locals on matters of matrimonial and property law. It is foolish to risk loosing all you have worked for your entire life based on a single relationship in a foreign country. Be respectful and tell your partner up front what you are prepared to do and more importantly, what you are not prepared to do. If your limits are unacceptable to your partner, then she is free to move on.
Good video and good that you speak out about the addiction you had and give tips accourdingly. I got through something myself like many did and overcome it like you and feel great about that what i archived in that topic. And only if you can speak freely about the path you had then you truly learned about it. The moment you start hiding your past addictions its the way back! For the other part, i wish them luck same for everyone, hope they find their way to an happy life. That is the goal for all of us, in that regard thx to all for sharing their stories and you reading it and connecting the dots. Keep up the good work!
I don't know why I'm excited, but I'm glad to see a new vlog. LOVELY FAMILY and BEAUTIFUL FARM.😍🤩 I have an example of the experience of an alcoholic, and I was also a witness from childhood until I was about to go to high school. Someone close to me, he had a poor family and drank all the time. However, an event occurred just before I was about to go to high school that made him change. He stopped drinking, his life changed significantly, and he and his family have a better life now, focusing more on his work. He's also been able to take care of his children throughout their schooling until they graduated. Another experience is about work. Someone close to me from Thailand went abroad with a limited budget, thinking he could make more money there (he also had a loan). He worked various jobs in an amusement park, but for some reason, he couldn't make enough money to sustain himself. He tried to find a second job, but it was difficult, and after four months, he decided to return home. His dream had fallen through, but he's doing better now and is happier. And another work-related experience involves someone close to me who is a foreigner. He came to Thailand and worked as an English teacher for university and private tutor. He mentioned that the earnings were low, I think. He's not a heavy drinker but travels whenever he has time. My point is, you guys are lucky to have a job in Thailand and the earnings, even though they may be low but they could be 1 or 1.5 times higher than for Thais in the same job position. I initially thought it wasn't fair, but I later understood from the facts. I'm glad to get to know and have foreigner friends. The more I know them, the more I understand how good they are. And I think the same applies to other people: get to know others before judging.
I am glad I was never a big drinker except when I was much younger. I am the type of guy that will buy a 6 pack during the holidays and it will sit in the fridge for months
Ditto, I regularly get bought beer, wine etc as thank you gifts through business, yet they sit there unopened. Many I give away, but I've still wine's dating back to the mid 90's unopened.
I have one or two drinks most nights, never more. Every 3 months I will go a month without. Been working out great for me. I will stop drinking when I move to Thailand as I find myself drinking 2-3 big Leo's every day in the heat 555. Our Thai neighbor tried to drink Regency and soda water with me every night when we are there. He is shocked that I stop at 1 glass. I hate being around drunk people and will never ever be drunk.
I remember well when you were running the live music bar in HuaHin and have seen the transformation made to your personal life. Your musical abilities would have allowed you access to work anywhere. But you chose instead a simple, sober life in the Thai countryside. You deserve a pat on the back going through all those trials and tribulations to arrive at the sweet spot you now find yourself at >>>
Congrats on the sobriety! Just past 10 years myself. I'm thinking about moving to Thailand or Cambodia next year. I really appreciate your vlogs and insights.
Well I think that you are a real person telling the real truth 💯 love ❤ this show ! I was a bartender for many years and stay away from bars if possible !
The ease of accessing benzo's can be an issue that doesn't get spoken about.... Floating around on xanax, especially a motorbike ride home at 4am on them is seriously dangerous...
Mark me down for one of the lucky ones. I met my Thai wife while she was on sabbatical to USA 16 years ago. We married in California one year later. After two years we had a great big Thai wedding (300 guests) in her home town with the blessings of her wealthy parents and family. We stayed in California for 13 years making trips to Thailand every year or two. She got a Masters Degree and USA citizenship and when my parents passed after being their night nurse for 7 years we packed up and moved to Thailand. So after 14 years of marriage I just knew it was OK to put our new Thai dream house in her name. We have paper work should she pass before me the house is mine. After 18 months in Thailand we are as close as we have ever been and her family excepts me as a brother and son and uncle. We are close by to your farm in Central Chanthaburi. Oh also I was a raging alcoholic but quit at 35 years old and I am now 71. So half a life time ago. Alcohol slowly kills you. I would have been gone a long time ago had I not quit.
Great vlog. Life is unpredictable, you can plan and minimise risk, but you can't totally eliminate it. (That's called life). I lost 2 houses and over 15 year's to an Australian woman in my home country, maybe those stories need to be highlighted!!! I also had my name on everything. Move on, make the best life you can for yourself, and most importantly, don't compare yourself to others 🙏
I worked as a therapist in an addiction recovery service: alcohol, substances, gambling, gaming and more…. I also did many of the initial assessments. It was shocking to discover that 60% of our 100s of clients each year told us they’d been abused growing up. In many cases these were capable professional men certainly not unemployable guys. A few asked me how did I ‘know’ when I asked this question… a few described incidents and asked if these ‘counted as abuse’ and I was able to confirm that yes it did ‘count’ and that no it was t their fault. Many had never told anyone as they felt ashamed, and surprised themselves by finally telling me, but then again nobody had ever asked them in confidence. Abuse of boys isn’t much talked about and is a taboo subject in the public arena…. I’m retired now but I often think about my past clients many were able to resolve as an adult what happened to them as a powerless kid.
I lived in Thailand for 4 years , based in Pattaya , I loved a drink but confined it to the weekends, Joined a gym , swam every day , and did my yoga. Saw so many teachers come and go, many lasted about 18 months before they went home broke
Another great video. You are a therapist yourself and I certainly don't mind. Have also been to a therapist here in Australia. Again wishing you all the best. 👍👍😇😇❤️❤️
I go to the local bar (40 kms) about 2 times per month. Use soda and beer, lots of ice. 2 beers is it. I live in NE Isaan. I ride a Big Bike - hence the low beer input.
You got more chance having a good life in Thailand clean and sober : there’s loads of AA meeting and NA meeting in Thailand , been clean and sober fro 25 years got clean at 29 I’m now 55 moving to Thailand in 2 years 🙏
Very well balanced vlog Ryan. Loved seeing the children's summer school with teacher Damo. As you know, I am one of the longer term subscribers to your channel and happily married. I think a lot of the problems with relationships lie in bad judgement on either part. This is no different to relationships/marriages in other parts of the world. Often judgement can be clouded by lust, rather than love, beauty rather than brains, or even thinking that you can change the other person in a relationship. It is very often that the most unlikely of partnerships stand the test of time because of a loving understanding of each other and willingness to see things from another standpoint. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Ryan, God bless you and the family. 😀❤🙏
Thanks for sharing, Guru. As we get older, the hangovers do get much worse. Some times it takes a few days to really feel normal. Takes a lot of discipline to stop something like that. Great work!
Glad to hear you are sharing. I am a substance abuse and mental health professional. I worked at all levels of service, including retiring while working for The Executive Office of The White House here in America. Love to hear about success stories.
The changes from the conditions during COVID-19 are now quite noticeable. First, prices have increased by 25% in rural areas to 50% in tourist areas! Expats surviving on small pensions before COVID can't live as comfortably now. More are moving away from the popular tourist destinations to the countryside or leaving the country. If you plan to retire at today's prices, you would not be able to live on the same amount in 10 years!
Some of the finest human beings you will meet in life were alcoholics, who have seen a certain part of life, and been through the wringer -- with a now sincere appreciation for humanity and with much empathy.
Good advice Ryan. Yup substance abuse is often self medication for other undelying mental issues. Also learning "the hardway" is also a tried and true growth process. As far as "losing everything" to a partner that is NOT unique to Thailand. Ryan you are absolutly correct you can get just as "cleaned out" in a divorce overseas. I am super happy with my 10 year marrige to a Thai lady but I have no need to self-medicate or thrill seek in a way that is counter productive or self distructive. I will say while on our Thai rual property, I do sometimes get bored as I cannot have these sorts of conservations. So keep it up ... good thearpy. PS I get the feeling it's good therapy for you also. Love what you share around your family also
Great comments ! that alcoholic lie glad that's all in my past so much happier. Turning 65 next year retiring Hua Hun from USA. 10 months a year in Thailand 2 months in US with family. I think that balance will help would Family Ties and appreciating what I have in both countries once a year. God bless you and your family❤
My idea is go part time in the uk meaning i would work 2 months in total doing overtime in them gaps to make the money up. Then spend 6 months in the uk and 6 months in thailand. That way im still rooted to the uk and can simply fall back to the uk full time if needed.
The wife and I are planning to do 8 months in the states and then 16 months in Thailand. Spread that 8 months over two tax years and get out of paying significant tax.
@@BrandonJHunt that should work well. im hoping to do it 2 months at a time. I work for an airline so i dont have to worry about travel costs too much. Its just wether i can still make enough to have a decent living. And im only 34 so it affects my pension not working full time. Lots to think about
Tried that for 4 years and found it to be hell. Being back in the UK working loads of extra hours when you dont really want to be there is torture . During the summer , when the UK finally gets a sunny day , you're working . Add on the expenses of maintaining a place , the flights , disruptions etc. I really dint think it was worth it.
that miles davis poster though! i'm a modest (rasta) monk with a decent income & no addictions (besides oxygen/h2o). i can't be manipulated by s3x/drugs/alcohol/weed, so thailand doesn't scare me even a little bit. can't wait to visit. xlnt advice man! 🙏🏽🇹🇭
I’m 68 Australian , married to a rural Thailand woman for 19 years , after 17 years her mother became I’ll , and my wife said she wanted to return to her Thai village , So she built a house in the village on family land , with her money , My wife is the only person in the area who speaks English , so for me it’s 6 months Australia , 6 months Thailand , it seems to work at the moment, But when I think about it , now my wife was always going to end up back in her village , with her huge extended Family, Peter
Very good insights and self reflection. A lot of people don't get out because of their delusional thinking and self-denial combined with the addiction.
Good video,I believe you're pretty much bang on here especially around alcohol. I have lost several friends who drank themselves to death in Pattaya.Its just to easy to get up and head for the bar.Regarding marriage's one of the reasons for failure is the pressure put on the girl by her family to get money from the Falung . This puts her in an impossible position and is what happened to my wife.Our solution was to live in the UK and holiday in Thailand. After 35 years it seems to have worked and she is happier here than Thailand mainly because she is free to do what she wants. Family pressure can be a very negative thing.
You're a wise guy, learned early. I think it's about having a life purpose. It's very easy to stumble along functioning but without purpose. Once you have a reason and purpose, stuff like boozing and escapism become unnecessary. Finding true purpose isn't easy, though. Imo.
I am always amazed by people who say "I have put the house in the (my) wife's name" and then are surprised to find out that the name on the title deed is the wife's name and their wife owns the property. 😂 Also they seem surprised that when they give their wife money they have given their wife money ie the money belongs to their wife. 😂 They then say my wife has stolen the property and the money. 😂 Farang logic. 😂
Ryan, it shocks me that someone so intelligent as you can get caught up in the drink & somewhat drug culture. You've obviously got a mind to think you own way & do what's best, it intrigues me to know how at those times, you kinda lost your way? As for missing out on socialising by not going to bars etc...what about still going & not drinking alcohol? I've done it for 20+ years & I genuinely don't feel I miss out at all. Others know I don't drink & they respect me for such. Maybe another video?
When i look to some people that i admire, Robin Williams, Chris Hitchens, Alan Watts, they were all alcoholics too, in fact Alan was right until the end unfortunately
@@thenakedguru Yes I can totally understand that...then theres those that have been through equally bad times, yet not turned to drink or drugs etc. What's your thoughts on those types? I'd absolutely love to have an independent chat with you someday, as I think we could both learn & grown from eachothers experience & wisdom.
I have had close shaves with all the drugs you can think of but have always managed to walk away when the physical urge started to take over. Giving up cigarettes after over 40 years smoking 30-40/day was the hardest thing of all. That was 15 years ago now and for sure would not be here now if I hadn't managed to kick the habit. My wife and I built our life together from scratch and we are soul mates. I feel most farang who have been stitched up probably had it coming to them as they had transactional relationships rather than loving ones.
Seems to me that the Bar Girl scene probably has a lot to do with becoming a boozer. Put it this way: You move to a country where very few speak English, you have very sparse social contact except with these girls who have just broken English and nothing much to say, anyway, but to keep their company you have to keep buying drinks - this is their main income as they get a percentage of what you spend. Doesn't take long for the need for company - even at a low level - to be solely connected with booze.
Even at 79 lots can go wrong if the wife is much younger. I think basically things can go badly wrong at any stage in these circumstances. Please tell people as an ex-pat, you will never own the land your house is on. If you leave the country, your house will be your partners. You'll leave with nothing.
I crossed a line with alcohol and ended up drinking to get wasted, I use to smoke weed with it. I loved the feeling of the drink hitting my brain and how relaxed and good it made me feel, then getting wiped out. That was the 1990s and I travelled all through Thailand and Cambodia and was wasted for most of it. One day in my mid 40s I just realised I wanted more out of life but couldn't get it because I was too out of it to change my life so I stopped alcohol and drugs. What it took was a desire to change my life. I also believed there was a great future if I stopped. That was 18 years ago and I haven't drunk or smoked weed since. Life still has its problems but I can find a solution now and the right one. Today I don't waste my time with drunks, they are boring. I have thought about drinking since, sometimes I wish I could have a Heineken or a red wine but then I think about it and know where it could take me and I actually enjoy my life so much more today, I'm not a prisoner to anything.
OMG that is so weird that they shoot in the sky when someone dies, like The Hunger Games. That would scare me. Ryan, your band photos , you looked like a boy band dude and I know you are way too talented for that. I think it is lovely to look at those photos, when we did not know where on earth we were going but thought we knew it all.Without them we would not be who we are now. Telling someone who drinks too much that you will feel so much better when you stop drinking is something they cannot comprehend. I have seen and been blown away by someone who did this (Stopped drinking). The strength to stick to it is amazing. I loved this chat and may I also say those kind of women are Everywhere and not just in Thailand. I knew someone who moved in with a guy in Manhattan and had the B*lls to get engaged with no intention of marrying him because she just wanted to live in Manhattan for a couple of years. God help us all. Be well.
I'm a heroin addict and even though I take methadone I still use on top. I have a bad relationship with the people prescribing because they treat me like a criminal which annoys me. i'm thinking of a trip to Thailand to get away from it. I'm really into music and only got into it by self medicating. I have no interest in other drugs as i'm in my 40's. I suffer from anxiety and opiates help but i'm not having fun with this, it's complete Hell.
Yeah. I think if you've got trust and loyalty, that you've recognised and built up with your partner, same as anywhere in the world, you should be fairly certain that things should be ok. But ofcourse it doesn't hurt to be extra careful.
Great Post. I'll be sober 5 years next month so my last drink was June 2019. About 8 months before the UK went into its first covid lock down in March 2000. I didn't plan on stopping for 5 years. I just went through a bad time. Yep alcohol was an issue but I thought I'll do a year then start again but didn't feel the need to cos when your in your 50's those hangovers are monstrous compared to those of a 21 year olds. Like you said I really do miss those stupid banter and laughs and socialising at the bar but it's the next day alcohol induced anxiety. Shakes. Feeling like death etc that still keeps me off the demon drink. Thailand for me is synonymous with drinking just like listening to Pink Floyd is with smoking weed for some 😉 I'd love to return to Thailand cos my heart is still there. I spent 10 years from 2000-2010 there for 5 months a year come back and work . Save and back on that plane to Don Muang Bkk again and Nana etc. I've got this golden dilemma of do I stay in the UK and rot to death due to long long winters in the uk or do I risk going to Thailand and become an alcoholic. Cos I know the minute I'd land in Bangkok I'd hit the bars and be back to my old self again. I remember telling myself after waking up with a hangover from hell. This isn't a holiday. This is alcoholism so I knew that if I went to places like Pattaya again I'd probably be another one of those who keel over at the bar and ve dead within the year. I travelled the length and breadth of the country and loved the real rural thai way of life but you gotta have a real purpose or you'll be drinking a Singha for breakfast just like Pattaya cos the days are long if your not working there. Once a person like me gets stuck in Pattaya my holiday is ruined. It's hard to get out the place. You mentioned benzos for the alcohol anxiety. Well that's a really bad slippery slope getting into them especially the short half life once you mentioned. Very easy to swap one addiction for another. Are there effective treatment places in Thailand for Benzos in Thailand??? Cos coming off benzos is not something you do in a detox centre in a week. It takes a 6 month taper and is a very hard stuff to get off. Anyway great channel and good post . Keep em coming. 😊
Coffee is a lot more than just a drink; it's something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup. That makes sense for me including you by your information about alcohol drinks taste to stop drinking too much including not adding too much sugars in for us to be focusing on what we're doing. I'm glad that my parents are happy by hearing what kind of taste of coffee I drink each day which is by the taste of 100% no sugar (Nutri-Grade) frequently is A except sometimes is B and that's all I'm informing you about the coffee situations that my parents were glad about how to take care of not my own which is adding them with others who are also queuing up to prepare order.
I appreciate your honesty & willingness to expose your life with others. Much older than you, my thoughts is that maturity is wasted on the old😂 Life, proceed with caution
Hi Ryan.I like your chats about all kinds of stories.you seem to have a lovely family and beautiful home. I am sure many expat would like to have that sort of life. That is what happens when you put a lot of hard work into it. As a Thai woman that met my husband over 40 years ago I could tell you that trust and respect is probably the main ingredient for a strong relationship. From day one we clicked. We built our life as one as a team. We are each others best friend and supported each other through highs and lows. Relationship takes work and you have to set aside your ego. I guess if you have a plan B in your relationship, it is because you do not have a strong foundation in your relationship. You will probably see this more often with older men with young girlfriend. This is not only in Thailand but all over the world. Just a thought.😀☮️❤
❤your down to earth conversations, which I am sure will help many. I did follow a couple for awhile on TH-cam, but got very bad vibes regarding her & her family. I hope I was wrong. 💞💞💞💞
Regardless of what county you live in, NEVER put all your eggs in one basket. When it comes to marriage, you are in a financial contract. People don't want to think of it in those terms because it's cold and appears heartless. However, when you get a divorce, the reality of your financial contract hits you like a cold shower. People need to separate emotions from money. Approach the financial part of marriage like a business partnership. Would you put all your assets in the name of your business partner or let them have 51% majority control over everything leaving you powerless? Understand the financial and legal laws of the business partnership should it dissolve (marriage). When you treat the marriage financially as a business partnership, you'll be much happier on the emotional side (love). Otherwise, a fool and his money soon shal part.
While I do emphasize with people who resort to drugs/ alcohol to dampen the pains of a hard childhood/ background/ life (or have a genetic predisposition for it) , I'm having a huge problem with "party-induced addition"; risking your one - ONE - life because you just can't have fun in moderation (or blame "boredom"?!)?!!! Such a stooopid move! None the less, knowing that breaking an addiction takes such ENORMOUS streangth, I RESPECT (and CELEBRATE and CONGRATULATE!) anyone who has managed to pull that off; kind of puts you in a "super human" category in my book! (one of the reasons I never went there was that I never thought I would have the strenght to get off it). Another hot tip to help you stop drinking: develop Gout! Believe me - it'll get your motivation going real quick! ;-)
I CANNRELATE TO THIS SO MUCH RYAN🤔👍 FOR ME ITS FINDING A WAY TO FILL IN THE MANY HOURS , THAT WAS INCE TAKEN UP WITH SMOKIN N DRINKIN🤷♀️🤔 BUT HEY THE UPSIDE OF THIS IS THE MONEY SAVED😳👏👏👌👍
Nearly 50% of marriages fail in uk So in a different country with all additional problems do your own maths never give them anything you can’t take back rent leave your assets in your home country …….if there not happy with that move on plenty around or just take one off the shelf dust it and pop it back no stress 👍🏻
Well said, ignore the trolls. its amazing how probably the most depressed people around, still think you cant make a sound j,udgement even though your a well functioning, loving father and husband, reformed alcoholic and free to say so. there are some sad people out there, keep up the the good work.
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CHAPTERS 👇👇👇
👉 WHY EXPAT: th-cam.com/video/UEpcvcFVCD0/w-d-xo.html
👉 OUR FULL STORY IN UNDER 20 MINS: th-cam.com/video/6ctdGJqBaUg/w-d-xo.html
👉 OUR COTTAGE BUILD: tinyurl.com/bdd8uh3a
00:00 Intro
04:32 My Days As An Alcoholic
13:56 Expats Going Broke By Buying A Bar
15:14 Expats Going Broke Through Love
Mate, top marks for honesty. I can see you're genuine. You even posted detracting comments. Well done.
I'm sure many would welcome a video of how folk get off the drink (like you did). It's easier said than done. I have an old mate out there. I advise him to try: Don't drink until 7pm? Ok, but what then after 1 leads to two and so on? Exercise -what then after? Get a job -again, what then after in the evening? These are the typical responses I've had from him.
Drying out is not easy and even quacks recommend don't stop completely after drinking hard for so many years cos it could have serious health issues in just cutting it off. Best I suggested is to buy, say, half a bottle of whiskey instead of the full bottle at around 9pm. In Thailand, no beer after midnight so that's all he is getting for the night. In Vietnam, however, beer is 24 hours in many open shops. I bet many more suffer there.
It's dangerous and I feel this issue needs to be deeply addressed before many suffer death by the bottle.
I heard about weed and kratom out there. They are legal? The latter is said to be good for weening off the drink.
Sorry 10% will not work with my 406. A month in Hawaii
Super interesting.
Today I see a humble, patient, reflective bloke. I just can't reconcile in my head the raucous, hedonistic boozehound Ryan of years past. I certainly know which Ryan I'd prefer to have a coffee with.
Well done lad, you seem to have found yourself...by necessity or almost by accident...doesn't really matter....bin those thoughts of rivers of gold....live that life of simplicity.....nothing more important than clean water and the next meal.
Making coffee and cleaning coffee pots saved my life. We have a lot more in common than I thought, very good one today. Appreciate it brother
Thanks my friend!
Exersice, running and hit the gym is an amazing medicine for a lot og people. And meditaion.
Yeah, I don't see too many farangs in 'my' Pattaya gyms !.
@@6669-k2f name a good gym there
You can put me in the successful column after 27 years of love and companionship with my wife. Of course it helped that I had 20 years of experience here and spoke the language before we met. I think you are correct in saying people need to sort out their problems before they come here because Thailand will only amplify any issues you have. Thailand is not really the problem, however, it is the guys who come to Thailand who are the problem but they prefer blaming someone else. I should perhaps qualify my remarks by mentioning that I never suffered any trauma or addictions, with the possible exception being girls, in my 20s and 30s in Bangkok.
We can all benefit from the way you live your life with the wisdom of simplicity and the way you and Demo raise your lovely boys ! Much love from your Dutch friend in California 💕🙏🌷👍👍
Start your day with a coffee ☕️
Tea is better
There's a very simple equation you need to apply for staying in Thailand. 'More money coming in each month than money going out'! Simple as that!
Surely that applies to everywhere? 😂
@@reggie5495 Your 'home country' should be able to look after you in event of hard times? here you get kicked out!
Very heartfelt message ❤ I’m 24 years sober, married to a Thai man for 7 adventurous years. The beginning was rocky and we almost didn’t make it, but something clicked in the both of us and we haven’t argued in years. I’m in the USA and I have seen a few “green card whisperers” among my friendships here, not just from Thailand, but all over the world. I think it comes down to being a successful partner in the relationship that will make everything else secondary. If there’s no success to be had, then there’s no relationship. Some reasons that I saw failed interracial relationships were huge age gaps, financial expectations, and race fetishizing.
Thanks for this video brother, everything you say resonates with me,I know I will beat my alcohol addiction, much love ❤️Thanks for your great content 😀
Interestingly I gave up alcohol last week, I have never drunk coffee and believe this is a new chapter in my life.
If you can find an AA meeting it saved my life. Good luck stay 💪 you can do this.
Congratulations James 👍
I still like a beer occasionally but on a recent visit to Thailand I enjoyed drinking smoothies more than beers.
Good luck James and always remind yourself that nothing positive comes from drunkenness.
@@tonytillotson7435 whats a great smoothie for a first timer? :)
Very good informative vlog mate. Thanks 👍
I drank when I was living in the UK before I moved to Thailand. I was going down the wrong road the first year I lived in Thailand and my wife told me I had to stop. 7 years sober now back in England in England and back to drinking beer 😞 but no way near where I was before. Just need a Drink to get through working all the time on building sites
Ive had 3 Thai girlfriends over 15 years ,Yao ,Pang and Jan ,,All amazing woman that I will never ever forget . They all changed my life for the better .
R u sure?
Im glad you decided to share Better Help. There was a time when I was very confident and focused and determined but knew thete was something off. Therapy, both couples and personal really opened many doors for me. Because I learned about myself allowed me to learn and understand others much more clearly. Finding myself was the key to understand what I wanted for me, not everyone else. Most escapes... alcohol, drugs, gambling, video etc is just that, an escape. Thailand certainly fits into the escape to paradise...but you are still present...stop running, stand still and find yourself first...and of course, its not easy. Good Vlog.
Cheers Chris, as you know with this channel i talk alot about this sort of stuff so could not ask for a better fit
Keep in mind they sell your info to third parties. Research the company.
Nice drone work dude! Music is also a very nice touch 😸
I started in the fire service in the 80s. The drinking culture was massive, I saw many alcoholics come to grief. .marriage, home and eventually the job they loved. .one thing I noticed was that many of those were the most intelligent people on the station
Sometimes I think that the very intelligent people are prone to alcohol abuse because they can see the big picture of the system and just cannot bear it anymore.
I've noticed this , in both the military and oil and gas industry . Alot of substance abuse and alcohol but they're still very functional and good at what they do !
Alcohol mask past trauma or guilt, when bored in Thailand after newness wears off drinking increases, Ive been sober 2 years best decision ive made im 62, My wife banned me from our 1 month in Koh Chang every winter was getting drunk and chasing bar girls, almost divorced.
My receipe: 1/ Don't own anything in Thailand. Rent everything (car, home and furniture). 2/ Keep all your liquid assets outside of the country and transfer into Thailand what you need for the following month. 3/ Shack up if you want (in your rental condo, villa or her place) but never marry. 4/ Don't shack up with anyone with young children. If you are a 50 year old expat... you should not be dating or living with a 30 year old Thai woman. That solves the aging parents and young children issue.. your partner likely won't have any if she is in her mid forties. 4/ Never give your Thai partner a credit card... only a bank card or cash. If you are a stable guy, with resources and no addictions, she will accept what you offer as she will figure out that you are the best thing she has on offer. If it all goes south ... get back online and do it all over again... same recipe with the next lucky lady. That's the point here... she is the lucky one... not you. They may not be happy with your "recipe".. but they will accept it - in time.
good advice
ฉันเข้าใจสิ่งที่คุณพูด แต่ถ้าคุณคิดจะรักผู้หญิงหญิงไทยคุณต้องยอมรับความจริงตรงนี้ให้ได้ผู้หญิงที่ดีๆก็มีอีกมากมาย
5# dont wife up a prostitute
My Thai wife is beautiful and caring, I consider myself the luckiest farang in Thailand ❤@wanmaneeseeutha1294
@@wanmaneeseeutha1294 Yes I agree. Lots of wonderful women. But lots of horror stories too!!! Thailand favours the locals on matters of matrimonial and property law. It is foolish to risk loosing all you have worked for your entire life based on a single relationship in a foreign country. Be respectful and tell your partner up front what you are prepared to do and more importantly, what you are not prepared to do. If your limits are unacceptable to your partner, then she is free to move on.
Good video and good that you speak out about the addiction you had and give tips accourdingly. I got through something myself like many did and overcome it like you and feel great about that what i archived in that topic. And only if you can speak freely about the path you had then you truly learned about it. The moment you start hiding your past addictions its the way back!
For the other part, i wish them luck same for everyone, hope they find their way to an happy life. That is the goal for all of us, in that regard thx to all for sharing their stories and you reading it and connecting the dots.
Keep up the good work!
I don't know why I'm excited, but I'm glad to see a new vlog. LOVELY FAMILY and BEAUTIFUL FARM.😍🤩
I have an example of the experience of an alcoholic, and I was also a witness from childhood until I was about to go to high school. Someone close to me, he had a poor family and drank all the time. However, an event occurred just before I was about to go to high school that made him change. He stopped drinking, his life changed significantly, and he and his family have a better life now, focusing more on his work. He's also been able to take care of his children throughout their schooling until they graduated.
Another experience is about work. Someone close to me from Thailand went abroad with a limited budget, thinking he could make more money there (he also had a loan). He worked various jobs in an amusement park, but for some reason, he couldn't make enough money to sustain himself. He tried to find a second job, but it was difficult, and after four months, he decided to return home. His dream had fallen through, but he's doing better now and is happier.
And another work-related experience involves someone close to me who is a foreigner. He came to Thailand and worked as an English teacher for university and private tutor. He mentioned that the earnings were low, I think. He's not a heavy drinker but travels whenever he has time.
My point is, you guys are lucky to have a job in Thailand and the earnings, even though they may be low but they could be 1 or 1.5 times higher than for Thais in the same job position. I initially thought it wasn't fair, but I later understood from the facts.
I'm glad to get to know and have foreigner friends. The more I know them, the more I understand how good they are. And I think the same applies to other people: get to know others before judging.
Thanks for sharing Billy
I am glad I was never a big drinker except when I was much younger. I am the type of guy that will buy a 6 pack during the holidays and it will sit in the fridge for months
Ditto, I regularly get bought beer, wine etc as thank you gifts through business, yet they sit there unopened.
Many I give away, but I've still wine's dating back to the mid 90's unopened.
Wish I was able to do that, Im an all or nothing. Currently on nothing 😂
Haha same, have beers in the fridge in case I have guests. But also introvert so they tend to expire 😂
@@MadVybez
Anyone can do it, it's all about discipline
@@torevalberg3510 lol
I have one or two drinks most nights, never more. Every 3 months I will go a month without. Been working out great for me. I will stop drinking when I move to Thailand as I find myself drinking 2-3 big Leo's every day in the heat 555. Our Thai neighbor tried to drink Regency and soda water with me every night when we are there. He is shocked that I stop at 1 glass. I hate being around drunk people and will never ever be drunk.
I’ve been through a lot of this stuff myself living in Issan. Respect 🙏
Well thought out, meticulously compiled with relevant content across the headwinds of living in Thailand.
Keep up the good work >>>
Much appreciated!
I remember well when you were running the live music bar in HuaHin and have seen the transformation made to your personal life. Your musical abilities would have allowed you access to work anywhere. But you chose instead a simple, sober life in the Thai countryside.
You deserve a pat on the back going through all those trials and tribulations to arrive at the sweet spot you now find yourself at >>>
Entertaining, useful video, thank you bro.
Congrats on the sobriety! Just past 10 years myself. I'm thinking about moving to Thailand or Cambodia next year. I really appreciate your vlogs and insights.
Thanks again mate
Great information 👍
Very honest and certainly enlightening. You overcame. Cheers to you.
What a lovely coffee shop❤
Well I think that you are a real person telling the real truth 💯 love ❤ this show ! I was a bartender for many years and stay away from bars if possible !
Congrats on 8 years sober, this year will be 24 years for me. Keep up the great work!
The ease of accessing benzo's can be an issue that doesn't get spoken about.... Floating around on xanax, especially a motorbike ride home at 4am on them is seriously dangerous...
Mark me down for one of the lucky ones. I met my Thai wife while she was on sabbatical to USA 16 years ago. We married in California one year later. After two years we had a great big Thai wedding (300 guests) in her home town with the blessings of her wealthy parents and family. We stayed in California for 13 years making trips to Thailand every year or two. She got a Masters Degree and USA citizenship and when my parents passed after being their night nurse for 7 years we packed up and moved to Thailand. So after 14 years of marriage I just knew it was OK to put our new Thai dream house in her name. We have paper work should she pass before me the house is mine. After 18 months in Thailand we are as close as we have ever been and her family excepts me as a brother and son and uncle. We are close by to your farm in Central Chanthaburi. Oh also I was a raging alcoholic but quit at 35 years old and I am now 71. So half a life time ago. Alcohol slowly kills you. I would have been gone a long time ago had I not quit.
Great vlog. Life is unpredictable, you can plan and minimise risk, but you can't totally eliminate it. (That's called life). I lost 2 houses and over 15 year's to an Australian woman in my home country, maybe those stories need to be highlighted!!! I also had my name on everything. Move on, make the best life you can for yourself, and most importantly, don't compare yourself to others 🙏
I worked as a therapist in an addiction recovery service: alcohol, substances, gambling, gaming and more…. I also did many of the initial assessments. It was shocking to discover that 60% of our 100s of clients each year told us they’d been abused growing up. In many cases these were capable professional men certainly not unemployable guys. A few asked me how did I ‘know’ when I asked this question… a few described incidents and asked if these ‘counted as abuse’ and I was able to confirm that yes it did ‘count’ and that no it was t their fault. Many had never told anyone as they felt ashamed, and surprised themselves by finally telling me, but then again nobody had ever asked them in confidence. Abuse of boys isn’t much talked about and is a taboo subject in the public arena….
I’m retired now but I often think about my past clients many were able to resolve as an adult what happened to them as a powerless kid.
Good on you mate, you more than trustworthy person because you have come out of your addiction. Great v-log.
I lived in Thailand for 4 years , based in Pattaya , I loved a drink but confined it to the weekends, Joined a gym , swam every day , and did my yoga. Saw so many teachers come and go, many lasted about 18 months before they went home broke
Good job man. You definitely have the life now. Hard work but worth it
appreciate it!
Another great video. You are a therapist yourself and I certainly don't mind. Have also been to a therapist here in Australia. Again wishing you all the best. 👍👍😇😇❤️❤️
I go to the local bar (40 kms) about 2 times per month. Use soda and beer, lots of ice. 2 beers is it. I live in NE Isaan. I ride a Big Bike - hence the low beer input.
You got more chance having a good life in Thailand clean and sober : there’s loads of AA meeting and NA meeting in Thailand , been clean and sober fro 25 years got clean at 29 I’m now 55 moving to Thailand in 2 years 🙏
Very well balanced vlog Ryan. Loved seeing the children's summer school with teacher Damo. As you know, I am one of the longer term subscribers to your channel and happily married. I think a lot of the problems with relationships lie in bad judgement on either part. This is no different to relationships/marriages in other parts of the world. Often judgement can be clouded by lust, rather than love, beauty rather than brains, or even thinking that you can change the other person in a relationship. It is very often that the most unlikely of partnerships stand the test of time because of a loving understanding of each other and willingness to see things from another standpoint. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Ryan, God bless you and the family. 😀❤🙏
Thanks for sharing, Guru. As we get older, the hangovers do get much worse. Some times it takes a few days to really feel normal. Takes a lot of discipline to stop something like that. Great work!
Glad to hear you are sharing. I am a substance abuse and mental health professional. I worked at all levels of service, including retiring while working for The Executive Office of The White House here in America. Love to hear about success stories.
Thank you, as a nurse in psychiatric you are the first talking about that
This is for you Paul. Wishing you well.
The changes from the conditions during COVID-19 are now quite noticeable. First, prices have increased by 25% in rural areas to 50% in tourist areas! Expats surviving on small pensions before COVID can't live as comfortably now. More are moving away from the popular tourist destinations to the countryside or leaving the country. If you plan to retire at today's prices, you would not be able to live on the same amount in 10 years!
Always interesting and very informative and thought provoking
Thanks Michael!
Yes the rain overnight is fantastic- ( control yourself- love is all you need) simple minds
Some of the finest human beings you will meet in life were alcoholics, who have seen a certain part of life,
and been through the wringer -- with a now sincere appreciation for humanity and with much empathy.
Good advice Ryan. Yup substance abuse is often self medication for other undelying mental issues. Also learning "the hardway" is also a tried and true growth process. As far as "losing everything" to a partner that is NOT unique to Thailand. Ryan you are absolutly correct you can get just as "cleaned out" in a divorce overseas. I am super happy with my 10 year marrige to a Thai lady but I have no need to self-medicate or thrill seek in a way that is counter productive or self distructive. I will say while on our Thai rual property, I do sometimes get bored as I cannot have these sorts of conservations. So keep it up ... good thearpy. PS I get the feeling it's good therapy for you also. Love what you share around your family also
Coffee is great,
Drink black coffee no sugar or sweet milk
Great comments ! that alcoholic lie glad that's all in my past so much happier. Turning 65 next year retiring Hua Hun from USA. 10 months a year in Thailand 2 months in US with family.
I think that balance will help would Family Ties and appreciating what I have in both countries once a year.
God bless you and your family❤
My idea is go part time in the uk meaning i would work 2 months in total doing overtime in them gaps to make the money up. Then spend 6 months in the uk and 6 months in thailand. That way im still rooted to the uk and can simply fall back to the uk full time if needed.
best of luck Craig!
The wife and I are planning to do 8 months in the states and then 16 months in Thailand. Spread that 8 months over two tax years and get out of paying significant tax.
@@BrandonJHunt that should work well. im hoping to do it 2 months at a time. I work for an airline so i dont have to worry about travel costs too much. Its just wether i can still make enough to have a decent living. And im only 34 so it affects my pension not working full time. Lots to think about
@@BrandonJHunt I thought the criminal US govt taxed you on income even if you dont live in the US?
Tried that for 4 years and found it to be hell. Being back in the UK working loads of extra hours when you dont really want to be there is torture . During the summer , when the UK finally gets a sunny day , you're working . Add on the expenses of maintaining a place , the flights , disruptions etc. I really dint think it was worth it.
that miles davis poster though! i'm a modest (rasta) monk with a decent income & no addictions (besides oxygen/h2o). i can't be manipulated by s3x/drugs/alcohol/weed, so thailand doesn't scare me even a little bit. can't wait to visit. xlnt advice man! 🙏🏽🇹🇭
Thanks for the video. Cheers
I’m 68 Australian , married to a rural Thailand woman for 19 years , after 17 years her mother became I’ll , and my wife said she wanted to return to her Thai village ,
So she built a house in the village on family land , with her money ,
My wife is the only person in the area who speaks English , so for me it’s 6 months Australia , 6 months Thailand , it seems to work at the moment,
But when I think about it , now my wife was always going to end up back in her village , with her huge extended
Family,
Peter
If you put yourself in their shoes, it’s only to be expected.
Very good insights and self reflection. A lot of people don't get out because of their delusional thinking and self-denial combined with the addiction.
Good video,I believe you're pretty much bang on here especially around alcohol. I have lost several friends who drank themselves to death in Pattaya.Its just to easy to get up and head for the bar.Regarding marriage's one of the reasons for failure is the pressure put on the girl by her family to get money from the Falung .
This puts her in an impossible position and is what happened to my wife.Our solution was to live in the UK and holiday in Thailand.
After 35 years it seems to have worked and she is happier here than Thailand mainly because she is free to do what she wants.
Family pressure can be a very negative thing.
You're a wise guy, learned early.
I think it's about having a life purpose.
It's very easy to stumble along functioning but without purpose.
Once you have a reason and purpose, stuff like boozing and escapism become unnecessary.
Finding true purpose isn't easy, though. Imo.
What a quality little set-up you have mate, love the farm. Also just realised you look like Bryan Danielson!
Great video as ever. Maria and Col
Nice one Gary. Agree. Maria and col
Alcohol is so addictive… it’s extraordinary.
Well done for being excited and happy ! Alcohol actually has a deleterious affect on happiness.
Why are all these guys in such a hurry to marry?
saw the same thing in China; foreign guys marrying local women. usually the guy is vulnerable or something
Enjoyed the video and helps reinforce my decision to get alcohol sober. Still drink coffee!
Yes -Listen don’t talk!
I am always amazed by people who say "I have put the house in the (my) wife's name" and then are surprised to find out that the name on the title deed is the wife's name and their wife owns the property. 😂
Also they seem surprised that when they give their wife money they have given their wife money ie the money belongs to their wife. 😂
They then say my wife has stolen the property and the money. 😂
Farang logic. 😂
We are volunteers usually!
Buy what happen if you would Divorce? Will you keep the farm? or is it actually hers🙂
Divorcing A "Gold Digger" When The House Is On Her Land In Thailand..
th-cam.com/video/GTaf5H77Zm8/w-d-xo.html
Ryan, it shocks me that someone so intelligent as you can get caught up in the drink & somewhat drug culture. You've obviously got a mind to think you own way & do what's best, it intrigues me to know how at those times, you kinda lost your way?
As for missing out on socialising by not going to bars etc...what about still going & not drinking alcohol?
I've done it for 20+ years & I genuinely don't feel I miss out at all. Others know I don't drink & they respect me for such.
Maybe another video?
When i look to some people that i admire, Robin Williams, Chris Hitchens, Alan Watts, they were all alcoholics too, in fact Alan was right until the end unfortunately
@@thenakedguru
Yes I can totally understand that...then theres those that have been through equally bad times, yet not turned to drink or drugs etc.
What's your thoughts on those types?
I'd absolutely love to have an independent chat with you someday, as I think we could both learn & grown from eachothers experience & wisdom.
2 beers is my limit… after that I have no limit.
@@thenakedguruAlan Watts - Soothes the soul.
I
Really respect your thoughts. I have a Filipina and I’ve got your kitchenette in mind for something similar one day! Cheers mate keep it up 👍
Cheers Red Dog!
I have had close shaves with all the drugs you can think of but have always managed to walk away when the physical urge started to take over. Giving up cigarettes after over 40 years smoking 30-40/day was the hardest thing of all. That was 15 years ago now and for sure would not be here now if I hadn't managed to kick the habit.
My wife and I built our life together from scratch and we are soul mates. I feel most farang who have been stitched up probably had it coming to them as they had transactional relationships rather than loving ones.
Seems to me that the Bar Girl scene probably has a lot to do with becoming a boozer. Put it this way: You move to a country where very few speak English, you have very sparse social contact except with these girls who have just broken English and nothing much to say, anyway, but to keep their company you have to keep buying drinks - this is their main income as they get a percentage of what you spend. Doesn't take long for the need for company - even at a low level - to be solely connected with booze.
Wrong, many Thais speak English & why locals should learn that lingo. How many farangs speak good Thai !.
Even at 79 lots can go wrong if the wife is much younger. I think basically things can go badly wrong at any stage in these circumstances. Please tell people as an ex-pat, you will never own the land your house is on. If you leave the country, your house will be your partners. You'll leave with nothing.
Well put on alcohol as a alcoholic that took till 59 to give it away Sober 5 years
Hi. There are a lot of Thai women with drink problems Drinking whisky. Really bad. Maria and Col
I crossed a line with alcohol and ended up drinking to get wasted, I use to smoke weed with it. I loved the feeling of the drink hitting my brain and how relaxed and good it made me feel, then getting wiped out. That was the 1990s and I travelled all through Thailand and Cambodia and was wasted for most of it. One day in my mid 40s I just realised I wanted more out of life but couldn't get it because I was too out of it to change my life so I stopped alcohol and drugs. What it took was a desire to change my life. I also believed there was a great future if I stopped. That was 18 years ago and I haven't drunk or smoked weed since. Life still has its problems but I can find a solution now and the right one. Today I don't waste my time with drunks, they are boring. I have thought about drinking since, sometimes I wish I could have a Heineken or a red wine but then I think about it and know where it could take me and I actually enjoy my life so much more today, I'm not a prisoner to anything.
OMG that is so weird that they shoot in the sky when someone dies, like The Hunger Games. That would scare me. Ryan, your band photos , you looked like a boy band dude and I know you are way too talented for that. I think it is lovely to look at those photos, when we did not know where on earth we were going but thought we knew it all.Without them we would not be who we are now. Telling someone who drinks too much that you will feel so much better when you stop drinking is something they cannot comprehend. I have seen and been blown away by someone who did this (Stopped drinking). The strength to stick to it is amazing. I loved this chat and may I also say those kind of women are Everywhere and not just in Thailand. I knew someone who moved in with a guy in Manhattan and had the B*lls to get engaged with no intention of marrying him because she just wanted to live in Manhattan for a couple of years. God help us all. Be well.
The best drug is a clear mind.
Only with a clear mind you can life your best life.
Thank you for your honest words without any bs.
I'm a heroin addict and even though I take methadone I still use on top. I have a bad relationship with the people prescribing because they treat me like a criminal which annoys me. i'm thinking of a trip to Thailand to get away from it. I'm really into music and only got into it by self medicating. I have no interest in other drugs as i'm in my 40's. I suffer from anxiety and opiates help but i'm not having fun with this, it's complete Hell.
Yeah. I think if you've got trust and loyalty, that you've recognised and built up with your partner, same as anywhere in the world, you should be fairly certain that things should be ok. But ofcourse it doesn't hurt to be extra careful.
I don't drink coffee or alcohol, but I would love to give the hedonistic lifestyle a go.
Great Post. I'll be sober 5 years next month so my last drink was June 2019. About 8 months before the UK went into its first covid lock down in March 2000.
I didn't plan on stopping for 5 years. I just went through a bad time. Yep alcohol was an issue but I thought I'll do a year then start again but didn't feel the need to cos when your in your 50's those hangovers are monstrous compared to those of a 21 year olds.
Like you said I really do miss those stupid banter and laughs and socialising at the bar but it's the next day alcohol induced anxiety. Shakes. Feeling like death etc that still keeps me off the demon drink.
Thailand for me is synonymous with drinking just like listening to Pink Floyd is with smoking weed for some 😉
I'd love to return to Thailand cos my heart is still there.
I spent 10 years from 2000-2010 there for 5 months a year come back and work . Save and back on that plane to Don Muang Bkk again and Nana etc.
I've got this golden dilemma of do I stay in the UK and rot to death due to long long winters in the uk or do I risk going to Thailand and become an alcoholic.
Cos I know the minute I'd land in Bangkok I'd hit the bars and be back to my old self again.
I remember telling myself after waking up with a hangover from hell.
This isn't a holiday. This is alcoholism so I knew that if I went to places like Pattaya again I'd probably be another one of those who keel over at the bar and ve dead within the year.
I travelled the length and breadth of the country and loved the real rural thai way of life but you gotta have a real purpose or you'll be drinking a Singha for breakfast just like Pattaya cos the days are long if your not working there.
Once a person like me gets stuck in Pattaya my holiday is ruined.
It's hard to get out the place.
You mentioned benzos for the alcohol anxiety.
Well that's a really bad slippery slope getting into them especially the short half life once you mentioned.
Very easy to swap one addiction for another.
Are there effective treatment places in Thailand for Benzos in Thailand???
Cos coming off benzos is not something you do in a detox centre in a week. It takes a 6 month taper and is a very hard stuff to get off.
Anyway great channel and good post . Keep em coming. 😊
Coffee is a lot more than just a drink; it's something happening. Not as in hip, but like an event, place to be, but not like a location, but like somewhere within yourself. It gives you time, but not actual hours or minutes, but a chance to be, like be yourself, and have a second cup. That makes sense for me including you by your information about alcohol drinks taste to stop drinking too much including not adding too much sugars in for us to be focusing on what we're doing. I'm glad that my parents are happy by hearing what kind of taste of coffee I drink each day which is by the taste of 100% no sugar (Nutri-Grade) frequently is A except sometimes is B and that's all I'm informing you about the coffee situations that my parents were glad about how to take care of not my own which is adding them with others who are also queuing up to prepare order.
I appreciate your honesty & willingness to expose your life with others.
Much older than you, my thoughts is that maturity is wasted on the old😂
Life, proceed with caution
Hi Ryan.I like your chats about all kinds of stories.you seem to have a lovely family and beautiful home. I am sure many expat would like to have that sort of life. That is what happens when you put a lot of hard work into it. As a Thai woman that met my husband over 40 years ago I could tell you that trust and respect is probably the main ingredient for a strong relationship. From day one we clicked. We built our life as one as a team. We are each others best friend and supported each other through highs and lows. Relationship takes work and you have to set aside your ego. I guess if you have a plan B in your relationship, it is because you do not have a strong foundation in your relationship. You will probably see this more often with older men with young girlfriend. This is not only in Thailand but all over the world. Just a thought.😀☮️❤
Thanks for sharing!
Nice one mate 👍 chok dee 👍
Where’s the coffee shop mate? I’m also a Brit in Isaan :) would be nice to check it out 🙏
You can check out baan na thawon
Not sure timeline alignment but it rains here in Chonburi today 07/05; it is 29'C here in the breeze and I am actually cold
❤your down to earth conversations, which I am sure will help many. I did follow a couple for awhile on TH-cam, but got very bad vibes regarding her & her family. I hope I was wrong. 💞💞💞💞
Someone can take your money...but you still got your brain ..move on.. time is more important ..one door closes ..another opens😊😊😊
I'm jealous of your mornings coffee drives, getting bored with 'my' 3 Starbucks on the Beach road in Pattaya !.
How sad
Is it feasible to invest in *residential real estate as an expat? Or would that be too risky
Regardless of what county you live in, NEVER put all your eggs in one basket. When it comes to marriage, you are in a financial contract. People don't want to think of it in those terms because it's cold and appears heartless. However, when you get a divorce, the reality of your financial contract hits you like a cold shower.
People need to separate emotions from money. Approach the financial part of marriage like a business partnership. Would you put all your assets in the name of your business partner or let them have 51% majority control over everything leaving you powerless? Understand the financial and legal laws of the business partnership should it dissolve (marriage). When you treat the marriage financially as a business partnership, you'll be much happier on the emotional side (love). Otherwise, a fool and his money soon shal part.
Great Life reminders. Your video was very entertaining and a good reminder to use your critical thinking head.
While I do emphasize with people who resort to drugs/ alcohol to dampen the pains of a hard childhood/ background/ life (or have a genetic predisposition for it) , I'm having a huge problem with "party-induced addition"; risking your one - ONE - life because you just can't have fun in moderation (or blame "boredom"?!)?!!! Such a stooopid move! None the less, knowing that breaking an addiction takes such ENORMOUS streangth, I RESPECT (and CELEBRATE and CONGRATULATE!) anyone who has managed to pull that off; kind of puts you in a "super human" category in my book! (one of the reasons I never went there was that I never thought I would have the strenght to get off it). Another hot tip to help you stop drinking: develop Gout! Believe me - it'll get your motivation going real quick! ;-)
I CANNRELATE TO THIS SO MUCH RYAN🤔👍 FOR ME ITS FINDING A WAY TO FILL IN THE MANY HOURS , THAT WAS INCE TAKEN UP WITH SMOKIN N DRINKIN🤷♀️🤔 BUT HEY THE UPSIDE OF THIS IS THE MONEY SAVED😳👏👏👌👍
Nearly 50% of marriages fail in uk
So in a different country with all additional problems do your own maths never give them anything you can’t take back rent leave your assets in your home country …….if there not happy with that move on plenty around or just take one off the shelf dust it and pop it back no stress 👍🏻
Well said, ignore the trolls. its amazing how probably the most depressed people around, still think you cant make a sound j,udgement even though your a well functioning, loving father and husband, reformed alcoholic and free to say so. there are some sad people out there, keep up the the good work.