The Neurodivergent Gaze
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ย. 2024
- The Neurodivergent Gaze has propped up as an interesting concept within the Autistic community, and like the male vs female gaze, it is surrounded by controversy and subjectivity...
Well, today we are diving into The Autistic Gaze, and postulating exactly what that may look like if such a thing exists!
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i have found when i tried to dress "normal" people seemed to think i was a weird normal person but now that i just wear what i want people seem to treat me like a normal weird person.
I think it’s the vibe inauthenticity gives off
@@DJ_Black_Tourmaline yea. This is the best way to explain it.
I just received my official autism diagnosis. Seven hours of testing and interviews to tell me what I already knew thanks to you and othe content creators, ( you know the worldwide gang.) Thanks for all of your insight and the intelligent conversations you put out there in the Autiverse. Have a great weekend 😊
I have no doubt my formal diagnosis was significantly due to content creators like Thomas sharing the lived autistic experience online. In bubbles like this, it may seem that a solid understanding of autism is at least likely in professionals, when it is actually quite rare, even in childhood-diagnosed autistics! 😬
@@misspat7555 I think the understanding of autism, even among professionals has only just begun. I was fortunate to find the neuro-psychologist I did. She was worth the wait. I finally have the answer to all the questions I've had all my life about myself. Guess I'm not an alien after all. ☺ 👾
I hate getting compliments on my clothes. If someone compliments my clothes, I usually tell them a fact about it like "I got it from an op-shop" or "It's made by slave kids".
I don't like being complimented but I have learned to say one word only, Thank you.
I love clothing but I do say things like that slave comment too😂
@@MIOLAZARUS I have a tie dye shirt from primark that says "Equality" on it and every time I look at it I just imagine people working is awful conditions stamping "Equality" on shirts.
Non-conformist always makes me think of the south park episode with where Stan wants to join the goths and they say to be a non-conformist he needs to wear the same clothes and listen to the same music as them. 😂
It gradually dawned on me that folks were going to dislike me and/or blow misunderstandings way out of proportion, regardless of how I dress or act. If folks are going to dislike me no matter what, then why waste effort trying to impress them or make them more comfortable? Way I see it, if I'm going to spend most of my life sitting in a room by myself, then I may as well BE myself.
I spot animals around me way quicker than anyone else :) does that count as part of our gaze? (Realizes that I took it too literally early on in the video lol)
i thought the same thing. none of the slang makes any sense to me
Maybe! I think a lot of these gazes are just as legitimate as other so why not 😂
Being diagnosed recently at age 52. I have found your videos to be helpful to learning all of the new terminology. As well understanding why I have always felt off from everyone else. I have hidden a great deal of things that have brought me joy, because of ridicule and shaming from family and peers. Everyday I am trying to become more of myself. Not just my cloth. Most of all decorating my home in the way that makes me feel at home. I think this is all part of my (unmasking). If I am using the term correctly. I appreciate your openness. Thank you
I try not to judge people
I think this is really insightful Thomas.
Bring on the day when people can be just be themselves without being labelled, studied and judged quite so much. In the mean time, I thank you for these summaries of what is actually going on inside and outside the Auti-Verse. Nice t shirt btw!
Comfort first. Then ease of getting ready in the morning. I wear lots of black because I just want to get dressed without thinking about co-ordinating anything. Black leggings with a black tank top in the summer and a sun dress over top. Thicker black leggings a black thermal long sleeve and a sundress over top in the winter, maybe a cardigan. This outfit pretty much everyday. I am sure some people think I am only changing the dress (sometimes a skirt), but I have lots of pairs of the same comfy leggings and lots of the same comfy shirts.
I think you articulated these concepts particularly well. It all rings true to my motivations and internal experience
I’m really glad! :D
It's a bit like how I dress like a indierock chick with a retro twist, I work in aged care and have bright coloured hair, wear bright coloured linen pants and coloured shirts... my clients love the colours 😊❤
So I *would* gravitate towards more visually stimulating clothing but I also just *kind of dont care* so I tent to just wear what I happen to have.
Ive generally not chosen my own clothes.
I do definitely have some amount of "face blindness" though if that is what that is I think "face blindness" is a bit of a misnomer, to be specific i'd call it face recognition overgeneralization.
Or something similar. Basically its not that I cant see faces, its that I cant automatically seem to tell the difference between similar faces.
i can confirm i am one of the neurodivergent gays
Me too😄
I listened to thought spots video and disagreed with it very strongly. Everyone has there own fashion preferences. Some neurodivergent people might find very colorful clothing overstimulating.
Due to the natures of my jobs for most of 13 years now (mostly acting in loco parentis for other people’s very vulnerable children; either very young or disabled), my wardrobe is mostly elastic-waist jeans and G-rated t-shirts. People who stand out scare me because I’m afraid of accidentally staring at them and have to be especially careful not to, which I’m painfully aware may ALSO end up looking concerning… just please look ordinary, parents of children I care for… 😬
That’s really interesting!
Look out for the gazes my precious! :D
"I wear black on the outside 'cause black is how I feel on the inside"
One of my favorite videos from you! I related to many things you mentioned. 🙂
I'm so glad! 🤘🏻
I have a tendency to wear dark colors, as well.😊
Woop woop 🙌🏻
Same. Morticia Adams is my spirit animal or I wear bright green 💚 PS my hair is 3 different reds so pretty bright
Movie mimicry-so there is actually a word for my emulating Star Trek characters as points of reference? Thank you for this bit of knowledge!
Completely off topic, but when did "versus" become "verse" in colloquial English?
Not trying to have a go at Thomas, genuinely wondering
I am 39 like to wear video game tshirts and cargo shorts when I am not at work. Occasionally I mix in some cartoon/anime themed shirts for variety.
yeah. it really pisses people off… i get accused of mad dogging… but im like… just trying to figure out whats going on over there…
I like bright shoes. I like wearing shoes that aren’t black or white sneakers, I’d rather have yellow, or red or blue. I also like seeing others with cool and unique shoes.
As far as the rest of my fashion, it’s mostly comfort and texture based. Colors vary, but I do skew towards blues, greys and blacks.
Yay I’m here for the part 3 🥳
The neurodivergent gaze:high function neurotypicals and low functioning neurotypicals
Fellow ASPIE here !
My experience is simply COMPLETELY different. Autism is just way more complex than any stereotype and finding commonalities in all autistic people is a fool's erand. There are sorts of islands in the spectrum where you can find more commonalities but overall... like for me flashy colours litterally hurt my eyes. I would NEVER wear anything bright. There are way more "undercover" autistic people than clearly autistic ones. It makes making any assumption of comonalities based on the visible part of the spectrum completely off base.
I used to only wear black clothes. Still my favorite but now I have ventured out into color too. I have struggled with finding comfortable clothes. Fabric content is so important it seems ❤
When you feel like a freak you dress like a freak😂 Im like that.
I got my tattoos for my own sake and actually feel uncomfortable that other people ask about them. I didn’t realize it would be a conversation thing until I got them.
My observation is that the “gaze narrative” emerges from the broader naturalised individualism of our time.
As the normative path is becoming narrower due to economy, sociology, anthropology etc., we define an increasing number of individuals into a complex venn-diagram of “out-groups”.
An example is how the DSM or ICD manuals grow over the same time, another is how more individuals under 40 don’t seem to “adapt” to given imperatives. And no, “they” [rather, we] can’t ALL be increasingly “ill”, right?
I posit that we have increasing empirical knowledge - but seemingly a decreasing agency to *act* on that knowledge. This describes an ontological dichotomy, what we sometimes call cognitive dissonance.
It isn’t all cognitive if it’s also experiential, existential and intuitive as well. We are in a very different place whenever any divergence is an abnormality - or trending towards that state of being.
Take care out there… 😊
Would I be correct in presuming that you have strong interest in Modern European Philosophy? .. like Descartes to Kant range? Rationalists, Empiricists ... with a splash of semi-formal logic.
Nice little piece of Writing. I appreciate the effort.
🎼TD
@@tdesq.2463 Thanks (I guess), but I tend to fall into the _very_ not-yet-formalized meta-modernist rabbit hole, with a sprinkle of dialectics and historical materialism (as tools, less as an ideology).
Hopefully, a critique of pure reductionism void of preexisting holistic boundaries (like ecology, ontological derivatives from it) - whatever we externalize, and how modernity naturalizes this state of being and doing.
That probably didn’t help much… 😅
@@musiqtee Delightful! Thanks for that. Now my brain hurts. 🌋
@@tdesq.2463 Philosophy in general hurts brains… Change is painful…? 🙈😅
@@musiqtee I see. Thank You.
I’ve always been drawn to dressing quite differently. Definitely not to stand out or be noticed, more because it’s a creative exercise for me. I hate boring clothes, well, not on other people, just myself. I do hate wearing bright colours, feel like that’s too much. Love unusual clothes, I’ve made my own for most of my life. I do have to be careful about staring at people though, it can be really misunderstood 😂
I love this! It’s a form of creative expression for me too :)
5:30 I personally really like the more detailed clothes like steampunk or gothic
A lot of stuff making sense to me.
Male gaze is men objectifying women, perceiving them as they'd mostly exist to please the opposite sex.
So, neurodivergent gaze should refer to unequalizing and inapproppriate attitude and behaviour too, right?
What are you talking about >~< I’m male and my gaze isn’t like that at all :c 😖 I don’t even feel s*xually attracted to women :( it’s not fair to say that ❤️🩹
I’ve been treated like an object many times, so why would I treat others such way, if I know the pain >~
Male gaze is not a "theory of men", it's simply a term to describe certain behaviour. It's not trying to attack individual males, either.
It's original idea was to raise awareness about how females were and still are portrayed in art and film (think about "bathing scenes").
As said, male gaze is not referring to desirable (at least in the western culture) behaviour - so "ND Gaze" shouldn't be something typical for us on the spectrum, but instead something "we" sometimes do, but shouldn't. "Aspie supremacy"* could be an example of ND gaze.
*Seeing neurotypicals as a lesser breed - don't get me started how deranged this is 😆
@@MLX1401 Oohh I see… thank you!💕
But the names are so misleading and potentially harmful to the image of the respective groups :c it’s not ND gaze or Male gaze then, it should be called Supremacist Gaze, S*xist Gaze, etc. instead. It has nothing to do with your gender, condition ir anything of the sorts. Anyone can be a meanie, anyone can be supremacist or s*xist. So it feels a little bad calling them that way >~
@@FemboiMuffin Male gaze comes from media analysis, it doesn't mean any single man's gaze. It was originally meant to describe how women are portrayed in MEDIA, like movies and books. The way an author would describe a woman's looks more than her inner thoughts, or the way that the film camera devours a woman's body but rarely takes her perspective. The way that everything female characters do is supposed to be titillating. It's not about being a "meanie", it's about how women are portrayed in media from a male perspective.
Women take on the male gaze too and glare at themselves from this 3rd person view, constantly scrutinizing whether they're catering to this male gaze
❣️💌❣️
Happy Day! Guess this explains why I was the only goth in my school growing up. 🤔 I used only dress in lavender as a young child, and then in black since 12. I did add in some brown and olive green as an adult but, I don't dress brightly at all. I actually don't enjoy most bright colors, they hurt my eyes. But, I do enjoy colored lights and strangely dancing at clubs with crisp bass music. I love the way crisp bass vibrations feel. Sadly, all the bass heavy music these days has a lot of "muddy" reverb, which I do not like at all, makes me very uncomfortable. Skin crawl, shudder. I was very confused for the first part of the video, I thought gaze was going to be about how we look at people. I have so much to learn about me still. Thank you for making videos. 💙
I’ve been hearing a lot in comments about contrasty stuff hurting people’s eyes, it just goes to show our sensory worlds and preferences are very different!
@@ThomasHenley another example of that I noticed is tight clingy clothing - i knew a woman who *always* needs to dress like that and I believe it's specifically related to the sensory effects. Me, I cannot stand tight clothes and usually choose mine a size or two too large if I can.
You lost me within the first few minutes, lol I lose interest quickly when the point isn’t obvious right away. I’m high functioning autistic and adhd
male gaze doesn't refer to fashion but the patriarchy sexually and functionally objectifying women in their representation. It's a serious problem about how gender can alienate us not an issue as inconsequential as a "looks" issue
this. it seems he totally missed the point because he's speaking on things he's not educated about and thus misunderstood the references of.
I love your feed but let me put some hyperboles in there. What if you are in a house of horrors situation, where direct eye gazing triggers jealousy or rage responses? What if the people that you look at have predatory abuse behaviours and use their gazes to intimidate or stalk you? What if being seen as weak or frightened, or strong and composed, are enough to trigger a predatory attack?
Some of the hypotheticals about gazing are based on lab rat situations where rats are in labs and the temperature and environment is well regulated, so we just watch how the rats react and pass comments or make theories.
One of my theories is that many of those individuals who "turned out normal" even after going through house of horrors survival have a story. In one scenario, we say it is because it happened before they were pre-verbal, so they just adapted to the abuse and learnt how to survive.
Sounds good.
However, as someone who was only diagnosed as high masking autistic in the last few months, after helping a soul sister raising an interesting grand child.
Maybe my friend and I did not turn out "normal" because we were pre-verbal. Maybe we turned out normal, because we were on the autistic spectrum and able to work out how to survive insane situations. Including reducing or camouflaging our eye contact. We did not fail or go insane because our autistic spectrum enabled us to survive the disconnect. (Note, in both our cases a grandmother played a crucial role in surviving abuse and learning to go quiet, but were lost due to death and senility before we started school).
So now, when you do those comparison-contrasts between "normal contexts". Another set of fun questions. How would either type cope in the extreme scenarios, and how "normal" would they be afterwards?
For example, as I was catching a plane to move interstate. The main perpetrator saw me off at the airport. They said "You know, of all the three, you were the one I never worried about. I always felt I had you under control and you would never incite a rebellion in the other two. Yet, you were the one who escaped, and enabled the other two to safely escape. I always thought I had you under control, and now realize I never had you under control." I never returned to that state until decades later after they had died, they owned guns. It was not safe for my sibling or other grown up if we were in the same state while the perpetrator was still alive.
Another thing about high masking autistics. Because we can remain calm and not over react, we get souls to say the quiet bits out loud, and our meltdown does not stop us hearing or recording what they said.
Another play. How many neurotypical people could weave through that landscape and come out "sane"?
Less than 4 minutes in and I have no idea what you’re talking about. You’re using the word “gaze”, but from the context it sounds like you mean “appearance”.
Ah, yes. The Neurodivergent Gays. You have piqued my interest.
lol no offence to anyone who studies the social studies and humanities but I find they really do be reading into things too much in the humanities hahah 😂 at least too much for my brain to understand 🤖
I look too long and get accused of staring i almost feel people with my eyes especially in photos
11:07 When I was watching all of Friends for the second time and was really familiar with the characters, I began to be have more like Chandler. Same with Abed from Community and even a real life talkshow host.
Also: Abed himself does this, so imagine the inception when I was relating to him relating to someone. I think he could appreciate that.