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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 มี.ค. 2023
- [40k] Imperial Guard Commanders after losing 20 Million troopers a day
#warhammermemes #imperialguard #astramilitarum #warhammer40k #warhammer40kmemes #warhammer40000 #horusheresy
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10 million died because they marched on an enemy knight. 10 million died because they didn't want to.
damned if you do, damned if you don't
"20 million marching on the knight CLEARLY would have worked, which is why the order was given. If only more of the platoons were filled out by Kreigsman."
-Commanding officer probably.
There definitely is no better way to organise society than this. If you get them all moving in the same direction at once they cannot run away as long as the wave is long enough to bend over the planets curvature and hide the target of the assault! Hm? Tyrranids? Oh we are all dead already for no real reason past some truly pathetic family drama?
Everyone likes to joke about how orks are the comic suspension of disbelief of the grimdark future. But honestly it is nothing compared to how impossible imperium society is.
Commissar after murdering 10 million of his own men to a band of Chaos Knights that murdered the other 10 million:
"Alright, we'll call it a draw"
Oh wait so we calculated the statistics but didn’t calculate mutiny?
"What did we learn, Palmer?"
"We need more Guardsmen, Commander"
"Correct."
if only they had zap barannigan
@@hibbidyjibbidyy
"YOU STINK!"
And to FIX BAYONETS next time
... you know, for the kids!
@@hibbidyjibbidyyWave after Wave of mý best Man :D
- But did we bring the enemy knights down?
- 3 out of 12, sir.
- That settles it then, tomorrow we'll try with 60 million soldiers.
that does not add up for killing all 12 tho
@@Nexis1701 No, because 3 of the knights are already dead. They need to kill 9 more knights. If it took 20 million to kill 3 knights, then 60 should have no problem killing 9. Some of them might even survive, considering they only have to suffer the firepower of 9 knights instead of 12.
@@matiasyannuzzi9655
That's exactly the kind of tactical genius we need in the Imperium! Somebody make this man an officer, pronto!
A units strength is proportional to the square of it numbers x the percentage that can actually attack. If that percentage is 100% then in this case. If 20 million kill 3/12 then the enemies strength is reduced in the ratio 81/144. So a unit around 25 million should be enough.
@@carlpierce2486unless there's a chokepoint
I love how there's a clear exact reason as to why all these troops died and they're still like "What did we do?"
Must not have sent enough gaurdsman. Double it up and send the next group in.
Zapp Brannigan did.
@@archibaldgaylord-focker8586 That strategy never ever failed before right
@@LesangdesdieuX Operation Tarpit was a genius strategy. They kept a Traitor Knight out of the fight for weeks.
@@Caliell Hey Zapp Brannigan's strategy only worked because the killbots had hardcaps on their killcounts, after which they automatically shut down for good.
"... And who were we fighting?"
-"We don't know sir."
"Did we win?"
"..... We also don't know that sir."
""But we did lose 20 million men."
-"We definitely know that, sir."
Reminds me of an episode of Animaniacs where Yakko is a tinpot dictator about to send troops off into battle.
"Many of you may not come back. Most of you definitely won't."
Then 2 years later 12 million of them drop out of a warp storm having miraculously been spirited away at the last moment, upon which they're immediately slaughtered and consumed by tyrannids giving them enough biomass to overwhelm a space marine chapter in a strategically important moment.
To defeat your enemy you must know them, not simply their battle tactics but their history, philosophy, art
-Grand Admiral Thrawn
The fact that the guardsman don't even know what they are fighting most of the time is one of the many reasons that the imperium is doomed
@@xTheUnderscorex lol a Tyrannid toilet
@@xavierstegmeier8595 Heresy!
Imagine being a Knight with a 5 million person killstreak.....
all in a days work
Halo Narrator: ...You guys just can't make my life easy, can you?
K/D off the charts ^^
*lights a cigar watching the bloodstains dozens of meters down from the cockpit* damn.... I should have become a painter...
Death’s Saber be like: “Those are rookie numbers.”
-Estimated casualties a day?
-20 million, sir
-20 million? No biggie. Just keep an eye on the battle. Report back to me when... whenever it makes sense.
My last game of 40k was like this.
@@nealbosher9293 i read trough comments and i faint of laugh :))) you guys crazy
"Yes sir. Ahhh, there's still the matter of the Inquisitor." "What about him?" "Well, sir, ah, a Vindicare Assassin was surveilling the area, as you had ordered, and a rosette is hard to see at that range and, uh, he saw him hacking a Commissar to death with a Power Sword, and, uh, not having any clear instructions... uh, he shot him." "Is he dead?" "Ahhh, no." "DAMN IT" "Ah, well, he's in a coma... he, uh, may not make it, uh, they think he's not going to make it, uh, he's probably not going to make it." "Well, let me know if he wakes up."
Isn't that literally how the siege of Vraks went?
- 20 million casualties
- Flawless Victory
Depending on the scale it might be. I was genuinely wondering how they'd play it.
Decisive Imperium Victory
Death in the service of the Emperor is always a win!
"It's been three days. What's the death toll at now?"
"20 million, sir."
"Wow. This battle is going really well."
"how can we spin this as a win?"
"They died gloriously defending the imperium against insurmountable odds"
sounds like ukraine
@@azuaraikrezeul1677 if it was Ukraine they would have said "actually it was just a village and we damaged enemy equipment fighting over something strategically insignificant"
I like the attitude of ‘how can we learn from this’ here because we know that the commissar and imperium actually don’t care
the commissar cares but the administratum doesn't and he knows it
They care about achieving the objective... it is irrelevant in Industrial Warfare what the "cost" is as long as the enemy is paying a higher one than you. Millions of men are a drop in the ocean, lasguns are cheap, & Flak armor is plentiful...
Thats the thing though, Warhammer doesnt actually have as bad of a military as it seems. They adapt and learn all the time, but theyre fighting aliens and monsters the likes of which are not comprehendable. And all in all, their casualty numbers only look horrific until you account for scale. the Astromilitarum has something like 30 Billion soldiers. They may have lost 2 million soldiers in a battle, but they probably had 40 million on the planet, which puts their casualties around what we would consider a very hard war but not unreasonable in terms of percentages. Honestly, the idea that most guardsmen dont live to see retirement is ludicrous and sounds like Tau Propaganda.
@@theduke7539
30b is lowballing it to a ridiculous degree my brother in chri.. emperor.
IG numbers in the dozens if not hundreds of trillions and the reason is that tge Imperium’s population is in the quadrillions at the minimum (with terra alone having a population on the low quadrillions according to carrion throne).
To put this into persoective, if 1% of the total population is in a planetary army and if 10% of these are recruited into the guard then out of a quadrillion peoples, 10k billions (10 trillions) are in a planetary forces and out of these, 1 trillion is within the Imperial Guard
1 000 000 000 000 000
@The Duke yep... the Imperial Guard doesn't tolerate "bad" officers for long. If one keeps fucked up and "wasting" troops then a Commisar will put a bullet in his head for failure. Commisars like Soritas & High Command Guard officers are all drawn from the same Scholams... having recieved the same education and upbringing towards ideological loyalty.
"What did we learn, Palmer?"
"That Cadia stands, sir?"
"Exactly, Cadia Stands!"
Golden comment.
Cadia Stands!
Cadia more, floats. Orbits, really- when you end up in that many pieces, you just end up an asteroid belt.
"You see, Tyranids have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them until they reached their limit and shut down. Kif, show them the medal I won."
D-Day comes to mind, unfortunately.
@@RedSiegfried I can see that, this was a(n edited) quote from Zapp Branigan from Futurama lol
its sexlexia
Imperium ship runs into shower of Eldar Pulsar Lances.
“ Nothing remains now but for the Captain to go down with the ship.”
“Why, that’s surprisingly noble of you, Sir.”
“No. It’s noble of you, Kif. As of now, you’re in command. Congratulations captain”
@worker-wf2em I hope he doesn't cut a ribbon at the Doop headquarters with the ship's laser... again.
I like to think that up this point all movies have just been practice for making the world's greatest Warhammer 40k movie and that's why there are so many perfect scenes like this that just fit.
what movie is it from}?
@@aldorea4616 Burn After Reading
I think a warhammer 40k comedy would be amazing
I want a mega compilation of all of these 40K Mashup loosely strung together to create the perfect parody
Yeah Amazon is putting out a 40k series starring Henry Cavill and I expect it to be just as bad as every other lame flick they drop. It's gonna be filled with jokes every ten seconds and the good guys are always gonna win. It's gonna be another flopbuster
Lord Commander Militant-"Well you all please excuse me? I have to make a long distance video call to the Planet Krieg."
Sounds more like a call to president Skroob
40 millions? What will you do with 60 million soldiers? OK, 80 million on the way.
@@elbolainas4174 Yeah! You can always trust Krieg to send you simply MORE than you requested!
@@jorgebarriosmur "you need a regiment of Kriegers? Well tbh we have 15 regiments ready to go so we'll just give you those"
Tried calling Cadia but the robo voice kept saying "planet not found"
"Sir, we lost 20 million troops the first day!"
"That's a damned good start, general. Don't lose heart, I'm sure you'll be able to lose even more tomorrow!"
"Thank you, sir. I don't know what I'd do without your encouragement."
love it lol
How to be a good Imperium commander:
1. Identify the objective.
2. Send in millions of Guardsmen to achieve the objective.
3. Do not achieve the objective.
4. Repeat from step 2 until step 3 no longer applies, then go back to step 1.
I think step 4 needs to be "order another ten regiments." You wouldn't want to run out of bullet sponges - err, I mean soldiers.
😂
Lore Accuracy: 110%
Perfect example of
"Many of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make."
literal example lmao
"...and we'll interface with the Inquisition on this uh-"
"No no, Throne no! We don't want those idiots bumbling around in this! Burn the bodies, and get rid of it."
So... they got an increase on "Corpse-starch" production?
@@roni_foxcoon well one worlds g3n0cide is another's food rations, ya know? 💀
And dont forget to keep the bones in. Our ogryns like their starch with the crunchy bits...
The OST at end was very well placed
Do you know the name of the ost at the enc
Nvm it’s children of the omissiah, first song of ad mech game
@@encryp4558 it is the Mechanicus game literally just type mechanicus OST and you should find
@@encryp4558ty for this 🥹
I'm a man of culture, I see a scene from "Burn After Reading" I smash a like button.
I love how they're talking about the casualties of a horrible battle in what is otherwise a very quiet room while chatting it up like they simply lost a mildly inconvenient bet. All your hear is the subtle purr of the AC and "Damn that sucks. Yikes... If only we could learn from this. Oh well"
all deaths end up like this unless you know the people. I mean visualize 20 million people standing in front of you? it's just not possible, that is the population of entire states and countries. Maybe a few sectors of a hive city in the 40k universe lol.
To give perspective the overall death count of WW2 is 70-85 Million deaths (civilians and military through 7 years of combat) whereas the Imperium only lost 20 Million in one day....
Entering the rift gate alone causes more damage to the Emperor's Forces then virtually anything that is on the other end of that Rift.
Those numbers are just from the first day, a slow first day.
Burn after reading is actually one of my favorite movies bravo for melding these two together
Perfectly edited. 👍👍👍
Who came before the C'tan, were the 2nd and 11th primarchs Muscle Mommies, is there a better use of 500 trillion men than to send them into a meat grinder? Somethings we may never know
Don't forget, that if you want to support my content and enter month box giveaways head over to patreon.com/WoodImp
We may never know
I think we all in our hearts know two of these to be true.
Waxing existential on me.
Reminds me of an episode of Animaniacs where Yakko is a tinpot dictator about to send troops off into battle.
"Many of you may not come back. Most of you definitely won't."
"Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make."
I wanted him to be like "well sir, there is one group left but...." - flips page to Krieg Death Korps
"General, there is a ship ready to depart to Khorne infestation planet, Inquisitor just need someone to hold the ground until tech-priests bring the suitable sacrifice for all cyclone torpedo. There is only one seat to leave that planet before the exterminatus but I think its still better than returned and meet that group. And forget about your commissar, he already be executed by Kriegs."
Lol the irony if 20m guardsmen died and the only ones left standing are the krieg death corp lol.
The only thing they want is to die in service of the imperium.
"Alright men! Lets show the enemy that we will either die! Or die trying!"
When you let the new guy play with your army that you have been building for over a year to defeat your enemy's
Sly Marbo: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" (Translation: I could have done it alone)
Admiral: You sent 20 million to their deaths?
General: yes sir.
Admiral: that’s some of the most rookie numbers I’ve heard for battle, what are we starved for manpower or something, take these 100 million tell me how dumb you feel afterwards and get back to work.
I like how the commanders didn't learn a goddamn thing and this will definitely happen again in the near future.
"what did we learn?"
"enemy drown in our blood and gore sir"
"promote this man"
With a motto of, "Trust me, I know what I'm doing!!", this is the only outcome that could be expected with "Inspector Sledge Hammer" (David Rasche) in command of the Imperial Guard!!
nah. sledge knew to use appropriate force to respond to threats. sniper on the roof? shoot the base of the building with a bazooka. no more building, no more sniper.
I always loved that show!
Said Chaos Knight turned into a demon prince that day.
Lol yeah quite possibly
That might be true but now there is one less chaos knight.
"The strategy was to empty enemy ammunition, sir"
"Good point. Tomorrow send more Guardsmen to the renegade Titan Knights again..!"
Never before has J.K.Simmons reminded me more of his Red Alert 3 role than in this clip :D
Some of his men might die, but that's the sacrifice he's willing to make
Learn? No, nothing to learn. When you lose 20m men in one day that means it's Tuesday.
This video is pure gold
That OST, though!
Brilliant, bloody brilliant!
Ork Warboss after losing 20 million boyz: DAT WUZ ZOGGIN 'ILARIOUS!
For those who are curious, I believe this was a scene from the movie "Burn After Reading"
_Commissar Sledge Hammer_ would probably be a great story.
"They told me I couldn't beat the Charge of the Light Brigade. And I said, _Hah! Watch me...!"_
Meanwhile, oNLy 1000 mARinEs pEr CHapTeR!
No damn sense, the numbers make no damn sense.
Those are not space marines, most likely either cadian guardsman or kriegs.
Well in the lore space Marines have strict limits placed on their troop levels. This is because of how many space Marines turned traitor in the hours heresy. Guardsmen are much simpler to control and if need be,kill than space Marines.
see it as an unreliable narrator/imperial propaganda
1000 Space Marines per chapter would make sense if the Space Marines were truly the elite of the elite. But in canon and in the game, that's not so. Even in the fluff, the "eliteness" of a Space Marine goes wildly up and down from Gods of War to nothing but a fancier clothed Guardsman.
@@Warmaker01 well it's primarily to prevent a second horus heresy. In that time commanders controlled vast armies of space marines. Also the imperial guard(had a different name then) was under the same direct authority as the navy,also contributing to the scale of how bad the civil war was. Basically efforts to break up the command structure and size of certain groups were undertaken. Sorry if I'm just repeating stuff you already know haha.
This is fucking perfect.
20 Million Troopers per day is chickenfeed, as long as you get me those pictures of Spider-Man!
i swear this is one of the most funny meme clip so fare ! good job !
Only 20 million, I'd call that good day.
It must have been a small battle.
A skirmish,of course.
If these where Penal Troops then I am supprised they even opened the folders and dossiers.
This is the best one so far. I love it :)
20 million?
Krieg Officers: Pathethic
Rookie numbers
Acceptable losses to obtain victory
This is one of your best yet lmao
One of the best ones yet
Humans are the cheapest commodity in 40k. In a war of attrition, this is a win for the Imperium.
Love this, more please!
Commisor Sledge Hammer before sending his troops to their certain death: "Trust me, I know what i'm doing"
this is a good fucking choice, holy shit
Ironically, the horrors that the survivors have witnessed end up making them susceptible to all forms of Heresy, so it's for the best that all jumps the guardsmen go through happen to be one-way.
Freaking brilliant editing. Good job!
Probably the best of these I've seen.
Well, the good news is that with 20 million losses it frees up more resources to just do it again. It just shows you, with enough blind -incompetence- determination you can shatter a hammer with enough nails...the number of nails is unimportant.
20 million a day? Those are rookie numbers you gotta pump those numbers up. - some Krieg commander
Two of my favorite things.
Lorgar: “it was just lying on the floor there”
sir! the renegade knights are approaching!
"VERY GOOD SOLIDER, FIX BAYONETS"
Btw the editing is amazing bro, I'm speechless 😳💪
This might be your best one yet! Fuckin brilliant 😂
You are killing it with these
Adeptus Mechanicus Soundtrack from the PC Game at the end is soo awesome !!
"Palmer, why do you have Kreig regiment on your file? I didn't know you had a Kreig regiment."
"I don't sir."
"So why are they here?"
"They volunteered."
"And send themselves to their deaths?"
"Yes, sir. I asked the whereabouts of their Commissar. The Kreig captain told he died after he ordered the Kreig to retreat and was killed by unknown reason."
"They killed him, didn't they."
"I assumed so. So I was the closest Commissar/battle to their location, and they charged at the enemy without my orders or the approval of Adeptus Administratum."
"What a cluster fuck, Palmer."
"Yes sir."
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference
beautiful as per, just a slight snag
Burn before reading was such a funny movie. Fits perfectly with this, nice one!
Honestly, I hope I'm anywhere near this good at video editing someday. Well done!
Orbital strike for another 20-30 years it is.
The best clip ever made!
That seams about right lol
Superb. Works so well
That was hilarious!
"When the only outcome is annihilation, then any other possible outcome is preferable."
This is excellent brother!
Best IG unit bark from Dawn of War: "Alright, now let's see you try fighting ALL of us!"
"At a predetermined number of casualties, the Imperium 'rage quits'. This act may seem like a victory but actually is just a nice way of saying that they enact Exterminatus."
Bruh. Those casualty reports were unexpected and had me rolling! Then the second one! ROFL.
LOL, well done.
i can imagine the princepts just watch everyone rush you and stomping them like ants
We need a re-enactment of that battle. On the tabletop. With actual 20 million infantry guardsmen. Who wants to start painting?
head cannon for me has always been "20 million.... why are you bringing this to me, i got better things to think about... now where did my kitty go"?
As the second paper came up I laughed so hard it hurt.
"20 million died."
"Oh no. ... Anyway..."
This is gold.
That was golden.
After he show the reason all these men are dead I cracked
Priceless
Welllll done with this vid LOLOL!
Omg I'm dying over here! lol
are u kidding me ? this is just a Tuesday for imperium