I started dating a woman who was a five point Calvinist and I just felt after some time that having a woman in my life that is that Calvinistic was just too much. Everything about her Christianity was saturated in Calvinism, and in her opinion I personally needed to be under the leadership and mentorship of a Calvinistic teacher. Like all other Christian teachers were of low value. She was nice about the whole thing but if I interpreted the scriptures in a non Calvinistic way then it was like I was just a biblically uneducated Christian man. Like she always knew better, but in a nice way. Lol I backed out of that whole scene so she could one day submit to a biblically educated Christian man, as it was obvious she would have never submitted to my biblical teachings. I feel a wife should submit to the teaching of her husband at least more than what she was willing to do. I can’t be looked at, by my wife, as a man who cannot rightly divide the word of God for his family. It’s like she was already married to Steven Lawson and I had to learn from her man. Again, she was nice about the whole thing, but still…No thanks!
I have been surprised by just how much soteriology affects how we raise our kids. Many of our close friends are Calvinists, and even what we say to our kids in discipline or praise, as well as how we pray for them differs. I’m so thankful my husband and I agree on soteriology!
My husband isn’t calvinist, but the “non-denominational” church plant we joined at the ground floor has slowly flowered into an explicitly calvinist church. He’s played in the band for 8 years. We have friends like family. But now every week we hear about the “sovereignty” of God. Spurgeon and Calvin and Piper and Sproul are constantly quoted. It feels like my own faith is suffocating there. But I equally know it would damage my marriage to to draw a line in the sand over this church.
I’m greatly encouraged. I didn’t know so many people were struggling with this issue. I’m not alone. Thank you, Jason for being faithful to the scriptures. You’re helping so many people walk through this difficult trial. May God bless you and keep you safe 🙏
I trust that the Lord will make a way with me and my husband’s situation. My husband is a solid reformed calvinist but I just left the church and resigned from church membership
Hi Jason I think I’ve watched everything you have posted and I just watched this today, Bcz it’s not a spouse but my son who is a Calvinist. You had a lot of great advice for marriages. For the men, be kind, patient, understanding…learn how to listen. Lead in a study of the truth. For wives, pray and be full of Grace. Have a quiet attitude. But, I really do Not agree at all with your advice to the singles. I would say … RUN! You are asking for a life of disunity, possible strife, and feelings of despair when it comes to how you will raise your kids. There are different types and ways to be unequally yoked besides just soteriologically. One parent thinks the 7 mo old should be baptized, the other after the child comes to faith. One says Jesus died for everyone and the other says you’re elect and only will save who He chooses. Do you see the HUGE issue that you call a non issue? This puts the children into confusion and possibly taking sides with mom and dad. I think rather don’t marry Marriage is difficult enough with just the everyday things and there is dire spiritual warfare to contend with without dealing with foundational theological belief systems. Plus, you seem very sure that both sides are Christians, but what if the Calvinist is, as Alana said, only placing his hope in his “election” And not in the propitious death on the cross of our Savior? How do you know they are born again and saved? To me, this is a lifelong can of worms!! Worms can’t be good. Please check out this music video if you haven’t already… I think she made the right choice and his heart will mend and he’ll find the right one. lol.
Jason, your Scenario 3 "As the woman who does not believe in Calvinism" hit so close to home. I could feel the tears wanting to well up as you spoke about raising children that would be taught Calvinism. My heart always breaks when I remember the struggles I myself had endured as a young teenager doubting my own salvation and security in Christ.. and not wishing that kind of emotional torment (truly... it was "torment"... no exaggeration.. so devastating and ALL consuming unrelenting constant fear and anxiety.. ) on even my worst enemy. Your ministry is not in vain. God bless you brother. Praying for you and your family and this amazing ministry that is reaching so many!
Mother's have a great opportunity to teach their children to read scripture, taking into account the full context of the passage. Since context kills Calvinism, just teaching your children to take the time to understand what a passage is saying may be enough to keep them from adopting Calvinism. And what Calvinist husband can say that it is wrong for their children to read more of the Bible?
@@tomtemple69, what I have found is that Calvinists think they are looking at context when they aren't. Calvinists go through the Bible looking for words like predestined and elect. Once they find them, they flag these verses as talking about predestination before the foundation of the world and God's election to salvation. Then they go look at the verses around these and ask, "What are these verses telling me about predestination before the foundation of the word and God's election to salvation?" It never occurs to them that the verses around the verses that they flagged might be indicating that predestined and elect are being used in a different way than predestined before the foundation of the world or God's election to salvation. Because, in the Calvinist mind, predestined and elect always mean predestined before the foundation of the world and election to salvation. When they realize that these words aren't always used in that way and they are forced to figure out for themselves what way they are used in each verse, Calvinism falls like a house of cards.
@@TimothyFishYes!! Mothers play a big role. My mother is one of my biggest examples devotion to reading the Word. Praying and reading the Bible with her in the mornings before school. And one of my earliest memories is seeing my wonderful mom sitting at the kitchen table for hours reading her Bible. With multiple Bibles all around her just studying!! (This was before the Bible apps were big) I wouldn’t want to “unteach” my future children what their daddy taught them… that would cause so much confusion and doubt. At least, for me, as a child, that would have led to only more torment and doubt.
This is good advice for all married couples that can be applied to many different scenarios in marriage. Good video brother. Around 39:00 mark you talk about being faithful. I would just add that sometimes being faithful is instead of arguing with your spouse you pray for them and trust God with what is happening and seek to return good for bad.
How about…. “Help, my son /daughter is a Calvinist” and raising my grandchildren in it? I feel like I can’t sing Jesus loves me with my grandkids. They have been baptized… 3 and 1 and are being taught the Catechism of the Westminster Confessions To say my son is steeped in is an understatement. “Mom, I’ve been on this train for a decade! “ “Son, trains make stops and people get off. “ I didn’t even know what Calvinism was until my daughter in law told me that someone said to her 18 mo old daughter, Jesus died for you ________.! Can you believe he said that? “ Me-“Um what’s wrong with that?” “Well, how does he know that Jesus died for her? “ Hence, my studious dive into the depths of a very dark and subtle scripture twisting of the enemy. This is not an “agree to disagree “ issue… it’s contending for the faith and it’s characterizing our God and His Son’s purpose in truth.
@@doulos9828um, not sure if this is a trick question!! lol…. Jesus died on the cross many years after those men drowned. But, he did offer them the CHOICE to enter a house with lamb’s blood on the doorposts and lintel and so yes, in a way, Jesus was willing to SAVE ANYONE who sought refuge in Him. Even then. But this is a type of Jesus and not his actual death which occurred in the future.
@djvgallery sorry, for some reason your comment is not showing up for me in this thread while logged into my account but no it's not a trick question. People in the OT were saved the same way we are now, by repentance and faith in the promise of Messiah. They looked forward, we look back, but Jesus died for the sins of His people on both sides of that timeline. The cross was before the foundation of the world. The OT high priest made atonement for specific sins for a specific people; but it sounds like you're saying Jesus our High Priest did not follow that model; He didn't die for specific sins, but instead He died for sins in general. And not for specific people but for everyone in the world. Which begs my original question. I don't see anywhere in Exodus 11 where the Egyptians were offered or even told to take refuge in a house with the blood of lamb over the doorpost. Could you please show me where you see that?
@@doulos9828 I don't see anywhere in the OT where it says they weren't, and I think it's ignorant to think the Egyptians who ruled over the Israelites would not have been aware of what their slaves believed. Even if that were true however - have you not read? Romans 2:15. Sounds like no man is without excuse and yes you too- you especially - ought to know better.
Dear brother in Christ, this could not have come at a better time for me. I praise God for your message and your sincerity. My dear husband Juan and I got married about 9 months ago. I joined a strong reformed church a couple of months before we met (at our church) not knowing much about Calvinism but thought it must be Biblical. Shortly after getting married I starting feeling more and more uneasy with their strongly-held doctrines and couldn't find it in my heart to call myself a Calvinism, much to my husband's disappointment. Please pray for us. I have a 7-year-old son that I had outside of wedlock before I came to Christ and we have another precious boy on the way in July. We desperately need the Lord's love, joy, and peace in our home. There is much strife and disagreements between us and my husband is strongly opposed to me watching or listening to any Christian material outside of the Reformed circle. I have started reaching out to a godly sister in Christ from our local church who has been a great encouragement through God's Word. I will most definitely take to heart all you have shared. Our Lord is faithful and true and works all out for good to those who love Him. What a great hope we have. God bless you and your much-needed ministry Mr Breda 🙏
Thank you for making this video. I’ve been looking for something like this for years. Would love more material on the matter. I first encountered Calvinism in college and rejected it as not aligning with the Bible. Later, I married and my husband became a Calvinist about 2 years after we got married by listening to John Piper. It’s a huge topic in our home and affects multiple aspects of life (church, books, raising kids)….it is very challenging and this video has been an encouragement and challenge to stand firm in Christ-like love and faithfulness and perseverance. I think you also hit the nail on the head with recognizing deeper communication issues needing to be resolved prior to having more open theological discussions. Please keep doing what you are doing.
Good to see more coming out against Calvinism. 5, 10 years ago, I couldn't find much. I've seen some Calvinism preachers abandon the faith altogether and a few that are now standing against determinism and such.
I realized a while back that I made some bad choices in attitude when discussing theology with my wife. I've since rectified my behavior, but the damage has been done.
"Babe, why haven't you taken out the trash?" "Well honey, I guess God immutably decreed I didn't! Who can resist his decree?" I'm actually finding this video very interesting and helpful, as there is a woman I'm considering. She knows we disagree on these matters already, but it isn't stopping us so far. Thank you for the video!
Alana L has some insight who was a Calvinist for 17 years, came out 3 years ago. She has a great perspective on children, what am I, going to tell them about God, if maybe, God doesn’t love them? Jason Breda was on her program. She started to see the scriptures for themselves. Calvinist Pastors would change meaning of Words, like World in John 3:16 to God’s people, or His Children, but the world really is cosmos, world.. It is a bigger issue than you think in choosing a spouse
That’s sort of my situation. He is not a full on Calvinist, but there is a lot of reformed and Calvinist influence and we do disagree on the issue of salvation. We have kids and even there we have different approaches.
As long as someone can live peaceably with their spouse and preach the truth, and neither of them fight, then that’s what they should do. Romans 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
No son of God would marry a nonelect Exhaustive Self Determinist. Only if he was under temporary judgment would this happen, but the LORD would remove her in due time.
@@DanielRevolt Daniel, reformed calvinism is a lie from the satan that maligns God The Most High. Cults are hard to leave , but God will be there for those willing. God is love. Application matters.
Beautiful Biblical teachings, applicable to all our relationships. We are to be completely humble and gentle; bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the Bond of Peace. Ephesians 4:1 as emphasized by Jason Breda. Blessed 2024!
@@djvgallery4304 Romans 12:18 if it is possible as far as it depends on you, live at peace with all men. If you are speaking about an unsaved spouse in marriage, not just a disagreement over Calvinism 1 Corinthians 7 10-7-24 tells a believing spouse how to live with an unbelieving spouse. You serve the Lord, by serving them. You love them, as Jason said, 1 Corinthians 13 selfless love as Jesus came to serve and give himself a ransom. As Jason also said, you still bring up issues that are bothering you and if the person is abusing you and your children you get out,get safe, and try to work it out. If the person leaves, then 1 CO 8 gives you options. Marriage is not easy. You still do what the Bible tells you to do, like go to Church you obey God rather than man. Jason’s beautiful teaching applies to many relationship challenges. Blessed 2024
I see one of my more "spicy" comments is not visible to others anymore. Not sure if that is the youtube algorithms at work, or if it was removed by a moderator. If the latter, I apologize for any confusion, the "/s" was meant to denote sarcasm. Not for the "pray for him" part (all of us need prayer), but what preceded just before it. I'm not upset, just want you to know I acknowledge the post was polemical and not as "nice." Though I did try to inject humor, hence the denoted sarcasm.
@@markb3786 According to the Arminian, Jesus is tryin to do a bunch of stuff, but needs permission to do anything. According to the open theist he don't even know that much.
Help! My spouse believes God is sovereign, has a plan, and is choosing for Himself who will come into His kingdom. I need all the strawman arguments you can help me come up with to combat this.
Respectfully: Your definition of 'sovereignty' is an unbiblical mind-trap, and I appreciate it is almost impossible to erase false definitions from one's mind. Sincere Question for you: Do you think God has free will?
@@DanielRevolt, the only reference to anyone before the foundation of the world is in reference to Jesus. It doesn't make sense for something that doesn't exist to exist before it exists.
@TimothyFish You said "before God knew they would exist." That's got to be one of the most ridiculous comments from a professing Christian I've ever heard. Are you a professing Christian? You believe God doesn't know who He creates and gives life to in the future? Huh. To you there are "accidental lives" created under the radar of an Omnipotent and Omnipresent Lord God? What religion are you?
Rougecalvanist asked me a question on a livestream of his I joined and that was why did you believe the gospel and the atheist did not? And I don't think I gave a very good response to that question. So I wanna ask Jason and others here that same question. "Why did you believe the gospel but not the atheist?"
Some reasons maybe why unbelievers reject the Gospel. No fear of God. Ro 3:18, Ps 14:1 Just another religious option. Acts 17:23 Not sensitive to sin. 1Tim 4:2 Do not think they are sinners. Ro 2:1, 3:23 Desire and approve sin Ro 1:24-32 Love darkness. Jn 3:19 Pleasure in unrighteousness. 2Thess 2:12 Unbelievers forbid and Satan hinders the hearing of the gospel. 1Thess 2:16-18 Satan blinds minds. 2Cor 4:4 Our liberty, a stumbling block. 1Cor 8:9 Not willing. Jn 5:39-40, Acts 26:28 Resist the Holy Spirit. Acts 7:51 Never heard the gospel that saves. Ro 10:17, 1Cor 15:1-4
"WHY did YOU believe when others didn't? Where you wiser, smarter?" The question IMPLIES that the CAUSE of FAITH, is salvation. No, the CAUSE of salvation is God, the CAUSE of faith is the individual. Rom.5:2 "Through him, we have also obtained access BY faith INTO this GRACE in which we stand..." Calvinism teaches the opposite; "Through him, we have also obtained access by (Irresisitble) GRACE, into this (gift of) faith in which we stand." You believed because you had a WILLIGNESS to do what was right. The Calvinists will argue that this WILLINGNESS was "GOOD" & therefore your EARNED your salvation by believing. This is false. Paul writes in Rom. 7:18; "For I know that NOTHING GOOD dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I HAVE the WILLINGNESS to do what is right, but NOT the ability to carry it out." Having willingness to do what is right, is defined by Paul as "Nothing good".
Hey man I also apologized on my community tab, but I just wanted to say the video is not that bad, you are not being divisive in the home here in any way. You're using your counseling skills which are far more reputable than your ability to exegete scripture. We are not the same kind of dudes. I could never be a counselor when someone has powerful emotions to present because I absorb them and I'm not very skilled at processing them, and how I respond often comes off as too cold and logical. I respect the gift that you have as a counselor in the body. You should approach more topics that are not regarding theology, and Branch this out into common ailments of the Christian soul.
Hey are you ready to unblock me and re post all the comments that you deleted on your channel? You know the ones where I kindly challenged your claims and you let your true colors show?
I would say that I am mostly calvanist. I agree with TULIP but probably differently from how calvanists do. I believe we are totally depraved but not to the point where we can't accept the gospel. I believe in unconditional election in the sense that it is not conditioned upon what what we do or how we live. Irrisistable grace... if you understand how bad you are and how good God is and how much he loves you... how could you not wanna put you trust in jesus? Perseverance of the saints, well there are bible passages that say that God will keep us saved.
I appreciate the fact that you stressed approaching this issue with a loving demeanor. As someone whos been married for 35 years I can attest to the fact that a loving demeanor is important with potentially difficult subjects. Also, I agree that doing Bible studies on the subject together is of utmost importance. This way the non-Calvinist partner would actually see what the Bible says and be convinced that Reformed Theology is biblically sound.
The reformed calvinist biblical sound is the satan conducting a great deception. Calvinism reformed theology are nothing like Jesus when applied to heart mind body soul.
If they were doing a real Bible study then they would never see that “reformed theology is biblically sound.” They would see that there isn’t even one verse that supports it……..
@@JohnK557 so Reformed theology had been debated for over a thousand years but you claim there isn't a single verse supporting it. Do you not see how silly that is?
@@bucky91361 No, anything can be taken and read out of context. Don’t you see how silly it is to appeal to the knowledge of man. There are many other false systems that have been debated for much longer. So does that mean scripture supports those views?
@@bucky91361Reformed Satanic stamina living through disintegrated cultists. Surely one of the greatest works of the satan , Aug Gnostic wellspring of reformed theology / calvinism / doctrines of grace ( lol, there is no graciousness for Gods imagers) quite evident in many reformed calvinists too.
The title should have read Help my spouse is “Not” a Calvinist. Calvinism or the Doctrines of Grace is biblical truth,it’s a proper exegesis of biblical passages. So you hate the truth. By the way I am sure satan is thrilled that you and Leighton Flowers spend all of your time attacking Calvinism (the truth) instead of fulfilling the Great Commission as commanded by Christ.
Calvinism, Protestantism, if you're believing in faith alone and that you can still sin against God every day and still be in the kingdom your all doomed to hell.
That implies that faith is a work. It isn't faith that we believe in but in Jesus Christ. It isn't through works that we are saved but because Jesus paid the debt and has offered us salvation.
@@tomtemple69You have no ability to discern between what is biblical or unbiblical when you believe that God wills and predetermines all evil, sin, and DECEPTION. You are not all knowing so you are at least partially deceived by God according to the laws of determinism. When your foundation for truth is a deity of deception then you can know nothing…….
@@JohnK557 what kind of spirit did God send to Saul after the Spirit of God left him? go read 1 Kings 22 you seem to have a real issue with the fact that God chooses who to save so you try to attack determinism ok, you have free will in all things except salvation happy now?
@@tomtemple69 Did God predetermine that Saul would have no choice but to disobey Him and leave His Spirit so that He could punish Saul for what He determined for Saul to do. Thanks for the advice but I have read it…… I just read it without nonsensical presuppositions where God is working against His own will.
These passive agressive anti-Calvinist videos are just so transparent. You are just trying to take another approach but with the same results. You ain't foolin no one my brother
He was preordained to do a passive aggressive anti-Calvinist video kinda transparent. Why are you fighting God?! I guess you were preordained to to so as well.
Help...my spouse is an Exhaustive Self Determinist. Please pray its Gods will to break through the imaginations of his/her having an autonomous free will.
DW: The irony of such a thought is - in EXHAUSTIVE DIVINE DETERMINISM (aka Calvinism) every impulse and every perception which comes to pass within the human brain - comes to pass by antecedent factors (infallible decrees) which are totally outside of the human brains control. Having been FIXED IN THE PAST by an infallible decree which grants NO ALTERNATIVE from that which it decrees. So praying for that to NOT be the case - is to pray against the very Determinism one is supposed to be embracing! A classic example of DOUBLE-MINDEDNESS What a hoot!!! 😀
Firstly, no free will believer considers themselves to be “exhaustive” about their ability to determine their choices. This would mean we believed ourselves capable of determining all things about our reality. That is insane. No free Will believer in history has ever believed this, and we are perfectly happy to state that God ordains the good majority of things. We merely believe that our sins are our own free fault and not God’s, and that the Gospel is powerful enough to empower a dead sinner to either believe or reject the Truth like it says in Romans. That’s is all. Nothing else. Exhaustive Self-Determinists is a rather frail straw man. I don’t think it even exists, if I’m being quite frank. Secondly, even if someone could be an Exhaustive self-determinist, wouldn’t that mean that they were doing so because God ordained them to? If your opinion is correct, all views of so-called “exhaustive self-determinism” comes from God for His glory. Who are you, oh man, to answer back to God?
@@GhostBearCommander ESD=Fatalism and is the "bottom-less pit." Yes, anyone who believes unregenerated man has a "free" will hasn't been humbled under the mighty hand of God yet. And, God Determines who He humbles and who He doesn't.
@@GhostBearCommander DW: Yes you are correct. "Exhaustive self-Determinism" would be the idea that a human has the power to determine EVERYTHING (hence the term exhaustive) that comes to pass. And no human being who has a normal stable brain would ever believe that. On the other hand - there are those who tell themselves they believe in exhaustive DIVINE determinism. But these people are lying to themselves. And the clear evidence for that is to simply observe how that person treats events which come to pass which they don't personally like. Events which come to pass which they do *personally like* For those events that person will AFFIRM exhaustive determinism. He will ascribe those events to it - and treat those events *AS-IF* they were infallibly decreed - and as such could not have been otherwise. But with those events which that person *does not personally like* he will DENY the very determinism he just affirmed - and treat those events *AS-IF* they were NOT infallibly determined - and could have been otherwise. So there is really no such thing as a TRUE determinist. What they really are - are DOUBLE-MINDED people - who lie to themselves about believing in Determinism - when they really don't.
@@GhostBearCommander You said "No free will believer in history believed this." Wrong. Satan still believes he can overthrow the will of God through his imaginary autonomous free will. God has blinded him to Truth so He can continue using him as His rod.
I started dating a woman who was a five point Calvinist and I just felt after some time that having a woman in my life that is that Calvinistic was just too much. Everything about her Christianity was saturated in Calvinism, and in her opinion I personally needed to be under the leadership and mentorship of a Calvinistic teacher. Like all other Christian teachers were of low value.
She was nice about the whole thing but if I interpreted the scriptures in a non Calvinistic way then it was like I was just a biblically uneducated Christian man. Like she always knew better, but in a nice way. Lol
I backed out of that whole scene so she could one day submit to a biblically educated Christian man, as it was obvious she would have never submitted to my biblical teachings.
I feel a wife should submit to the teaching of her husband at least more than what she was willing to do. I can’t be looked at, by my wife, as a man who cannot rightly divide the word of God for his family. It’s like she was already married to Steven Lawson and I had to learn from her man.
Again, she was nice about the whole thing, but still…No thanks!
I have been surprised by just how much soteriology affects how we raise our kids. Many of our close friends are Calvinists, and even what we say to our kids in discipline or praise, as well as how we pray for them differs. I’m so thankful my husband and I agree on soteriology!
My husband isn’t calvinist, but the “non-denominational” church plant we joined at the ground floor has slowly flowered into an explicitly calvinist church. He’s played in the band for 8 years. We have friends like family. But now every week we hear about the “sovereignty” of God. Spurgeon and Calvin and Piper and Sproul are constantly quoted. It feels like my own faith is suffocating there. But I equally know it would damage my marriage to to draw a line in the sand over this church.
I’m greatly encouraged. I didn’t know so many people were struggling with this issue. I’m not alone. Thank you, Jason for being faithful to the scriptures. You’re helping so many people walk through this difficult trial. May God bless you and keep you safe 🙏
I trust that the Lord will make a way with me and my husband’s situation. My husband is a solid reformed calvinist but I just left the church and resigned from church membership
Praying for your situation
You should submit to your husbands leadership and where he goes to church.
@@emilianoking9400This is for christian’s, not cultists
Hi Jason
I think I’ve watched everything you have posted and I just watched this today, Bcz it’s not a spouse but my son who is a Calvinist. You had a lot of great advice for marriages. For the men, be kind, patient, understanding…learn how to listen. Lead in a study of the truth.
For wives, pray and be full of Grace. Have a quiet attitude.
But, I really do Not agree at all with your advice to the singles.
I would say … RUN!
You are asking for a life of disunity, possible strife, and feelings of despair when it comes to how you will raise your kids.
There are different types and ways to be unequally yoked besides just soteriologically.
One parent thinks the 7 mo old should be baptized, the other after the child comes to faith.
One says Jesus died for everyone and the other says you’re elect and only will save who He chooses. Do you see the HUGE issue that you call a non issue?
This puts the children into confusion and possibly taking sides with mom and dad.
I think rather don’t marry
Marriage is difficult enough with just the everyday things and there is dire spiritual warfare to contend with without dealing with foundational theological belief systems.
Plus, you seem very sure that both sides are Christians, but what if the Calvinist is, as Alana said, only placing his hope in his “election” And not in the propitious death on the cross of our Savior? How do you know they are born again and saved? To me, this is a lifelong can of worms!! Worms can’t be good.
Please check out this music video if you haven’t already… I think she made the right choice and his heart will mend and he’ll find the right one. lol.
th-cam.com/video/lwZKztk2ULg/w-d-xo.htmlsi=L0CWnr8l2FiUhDoI
Jason, your Scenario 3 "As the woman who does not believe in Calvinism" hit so close to home. I could feel the tears wanting to well up as you spoke about raising children that would be taught Calvinism. My heart always breaks when I remember the struggles I myself had endured as a young teenager doubting my own salvation and security in Christ.. and not wishing that kind of emotional torment (truly... it was "torment"... no exaggeration.. so devastating and ALL consuming unrelenting constant fear and anxiety.. ) on even my worst enemy. Your ministry is not in vain. God bless you brother. Praying for you and your family and this amazing ministry that is reaching so many!
Mother's have a great opportunity to teach their children to read scripture, taking into account the full context of the passage. Since context kills Calvinism, just teaching your children to take the time to understand what a passage is saying may be enough to keep them from adopting Calvinism. And what Calvinist husband can say that it is wrong for their children to read more of the Bible?
@@TimothyFish context created the Reformation and calvinism 😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@tomtemple69, what I have found is that Calvinists think they are looking at context when they aren't. Calvinists go through the Bible looking for words like predestined and elect. Once they find them, they flag these verses as talking about predestination before the foundation of the world and God's election to salvation. Then they go look at the verses around these and ask, "What are these verses telling me about predestination before the foundation of the word and God's election to salvation?" It never occurs to them that the verses around the verses that they flagged might be indicating that predestined and elect are being used in a different way than predestined before the foundation of the world or God's election to salvation. Because, in the Calvinist mind, predestined and elect always mean predestined before the foundation of the world and election to salvation. When they realize that these words aren't always used in that way and they are forced to figure out for themselves what way they are used in each verse, Calvinism falls like a house of cards.
@@TimothyFishYes!! Mothers play a big role. My mother is one of my biggest examples devotion to reading the Word. Praying and reading the Bible with her in the mornings before school. And one of my earliest memories is seeing my wonderful mom sitting at the kitchen table for hours reading her Bible. With multiple Bibles all around her just studying!! (This was before the Bible apps were big)
I wouldn’t want to “unteach” my future children what their daddy taught them… that would cause so much confusion and doubt. At least, for me, as a child, that would have led to only more torment and doubt.
@@TimothyFish 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Spouses need to navigate this - singles need to run.
This is good advice for all married couples that can be applied to many different scenarios in marriage. Good video brother. Around 39:00 mark you talk about being faithful. I would just add that sometimes being faithful is instead of arguing with your spouse you pray for them and trust God with what is happening and seek to return good for bad.
How about…. “Help, my son /daughter is a Calvinist” and raising my grandchildren in it?
I feel like I can’t sing Jesus loves me with my grandkids. They have been baptized… 3 and 1 and are being taught the Catechism of the Westminster Confessions
To say my son is steeped in is an understatement. “Mom, I’ve been on this train for a decade! “
“Son, trains make stops and people get off. “
I didn’t even know what Calvinism was until my daughter in law told me that someone said to her 18 mo old daughter, Jesus died for you ________.! Can you believe he said that? “
Me-“Um what’s wrong with that?”
“Well, how does he know that Jesus died for her? “
Hence, my studious dive into the depths of a very dark and subtle scripture twisting of the enemy.
This is not an “agree to disagree “ issue… it’s contending for the faith and it’s characterizing our God and His Son’s purpose in truth.
Did Jesus die for the sins of the Egyptians that were drowned in the Red Sea?
@@doulos9828um, not sure if this is a trick question!! lol….
Jesus died on the cross many years after those men drowned. But, he did offer them the CHOICE to enter a house with lamb’s blood on the doorposts and lintel and so yes, in a way, Jesus was willing to SAVE ANYONE who sought refuge in Him. Even then. But this is a type of Jesus and not his actual death which occurred in the future.
@@doulos9828Jesus didn’t die for the drowned Egyptians. He hadn’t even been born yet. Um, was that a trick question 😂?
@djvgallery sorry, for some reason your comment is not showing up for me in this thread while logged into my account but no it's not a trick question.
People in the OT were saved the same way we are now, by repentance and faith in the promise of Messiah.
They looked forward, we look back, but Jesus died for the sins of His people on both sides of that timeline.
The cross was before the foundation of the world.
The OT high priest made atonement for specific sins for a specific people; but it sounds like you're saying Jesus our High Priest did not follow that model; He didn't die for specific sins, but instead He died for sins in general. And not for specific people but for everyone in the world.
Which begs my original question.
I don't see anywhere in Exodus 11 where the Egyptians were offered or even told to take refuge in a house with the blood of lamb over the doorpost.
Could you please show me where you see that?
@@doulos9828 I don't see anywhere in the OT where it says they weren't,
and I think it's ignorant to think the Egyptians who ruled over the Israelites would not have been aware of what their slaves believed. Even if that were true however - have you not read? Romans 2:15. Sounds like no man is without excuse and yes you too- you especially - ought to know better.
Excellent advice and counseling Jason! This will help many people!
Thank you brother!
Dear brother in Christ, this could not have come at a better time for me. I praise God for your message and your sincerity. My dear husband Juan and I got married about 9 months ago. I joined a strong reformed church a couple of months before we met (at our church) not knowing much about Calvinism but thought it must be Biblical. Shortly after getting married I starting feeling more and more uneasy with their strongly-held doctrines and couldn't find it in my heart to call myself a Calvinism, much to my husband's disappointment. Please pray for us. I have a 7-year-old son that I had outside of wedlock before I came to Christ and we have another precious boy on the way in July. We desperately need the Lord's love, joy, and peace in our home. There is much strife and disagreements between us and my husband is strongly opposed to me watching or listening to any Christian material outside of the Reformed circle. I have started reaching out to a godly sister in Christ from our local church who has been a great encouragement through God's Word. I will most definitely take to heart all you have shared. Our Lord is faithful and true and works all out for good to those who love Him. What a great hope we have. God bless you and your much-needed ministry Mr Breda 🙏
Praying for you sister
@@GoodBerean Thank you so much
Thank you for making this video. I’ve been looking for something like this for years. Would love more material on the matter. I first encountered Calvinism in college and rejected it as not aligning with the Bible. Later, I married and my husband became a Calvinist about 2 years after we got married by listening to John Piper. It’s a huge topic in our home and affects multiple aspects of life (church, books, raising kids)….it is very challenging and this video has been an encouragement and challenge to stand firm in Christ-like love and faithfulness and perseverance. I think you also hit the nail on the head with recognizing deeper communication issues needing to be resolved prior to having more open theological discussions. Please keep doing what you are doing.
Great video brother! We thank God for you!
Good to see more coming out against Calvinism. 5, 10 years ago, I couldn't find much. I've seen some Calvinism preachers abandon the faith altogether and a few that are now standing against determinism and such.
I realized a while back that I made some bad choices in attitude when discussing theology with my wife. I've since rectified my behavior, but the damage has been done.
You're not alone...😢
"Babe, why haven't you taken out the trash?"
"Well honey, I guess God immutably decreed I didn't! Who can resist his decree?"
I'm actually finding this video very interesting and helpful, as there is a woman I'm considering. She knows we disagree on these matters already, but it isn't stopping us so far.
Thank you for the video!
Alana L has some insight who was a Calvinist for 17 years, came out 3 years ago. She has a great perspective on children, what am I, going to tell them about God, if maybe, God doesn’t love them? Jason Breda was on her program. She started to see the scriptures for themselves. Calvinist Pastors would change meaning of Words, like World in John 3:16 to God’s people, or His Children, but the world really is cosmos, world.. It is a bigger issue than you think in choosing a spouse
What if the husband is a Pastor or a Deacon and the wife suddenly leave Reformed or Calvinism . I would love to hear your advice
That’s sort of my situation. He is not a full on Calvinist, but there is a lot of reformed and Calvinist influence and we do disagree on the issue of salvation. We have kids and even there we have different approaches.
I can make a video on thinking through this sometime soon (hopefully).
As long as someone can live peaceably with their spouse and preach the truth, and neither of them fight, then that’s what they should do.
Romans 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
Simple solution: Pray for them but DON"T marry them. Calvinism is "another gospel".
Agreed.
No son of God would marry a nonelect Exhaustive Self Determinist. Only if he was under temporary judgment would this happen, but the LORD would remove her in due time.
"My spouse is a Calvinist!" -------> Run ....
They will be removed by God. Sooner is better than later. Nothing beats a mans wife that is elect by God for him. She won't be missed.
Look at this professing Christian encouraging women to leave their husbands over biblical doctrine.
Are you sure you’re a Christian?
@@DanielRevolt
Daniel, reformed calvinism is a lie from the satan that maligns God The Most High.
Cults are hard to leave , but God will be there for those willing. God is love.
Application matters.
Yes!!! Danger!
My spouse is an unknowingly Arminien!!! I am a provisionist!
Beautiful Biblical teachings, applicable to all our relationships. We are to be completely humble and gentle; bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the Bond of Peace. Ephesians 4:1 as emphasized by Jason Breda. Blessed 2024!
Blessings Theresa
How does one keep the unity of the Spirit with those who’ve been deceived and are not walking in TRUTH?
I’m confused
@@djvgallery4304 Romans 12:18 if it is possible as far as it depends on you, live at peace with all men.
If you are speaking about an unsaved spouse in marriage, not just a disagreement over Calvinism 1 Corinthians 7 10-7-24 tells a believing spouse how to live with an unbelieving spouse. You serve the Lord, by serving them. You love them, as Jason said, 1 Corinthians 13 selfless love as Jesus came to serve and give himself a ransom. As Jason also said, you still bring up issues that are bothering you and if the person is abusing you and your children you get out,get safe, and try to work it out. If the person leaves, then 1 CO 8 gives you options. Marriage is not easy. You still do what the Bible tells you to do, like go to Church you obey God rather than man. Jason’s beautiful teaching applies to many relationship challenges. Blessed 2024
Do you have a suggestion for a mostly soteriology free study guide/Bible study? Is that a thing?
Got any JW friends? ;)
I see one of my more "spicy" comments is not visible to others anymore. Not sure if that is the youtube algorithms at work, or if it was removed by a moderator. If the latter, I apologize for any confusion, the "/s" was meant to denote sarcasm. Not for the "pray for him" part (all of us need prayer), but what preceded just before it. I'm not upset, just want you to know I acknowledge the post was polemical and not as "nice." Though I did try to inject humor, hence the denoted sarcasm.
I didn’t remove any comments…so I’m guessing TH-cam
Wow that’s a beautiful background
Thanks brother
God knows what you are going through but his hands are tied until you do something.
So, our God is of limited power? Really?
@@markb3786 According to the Arminian, Jesus is tryin to do a bunch of stuff, but needs permission to do anything. According to the open theist he don't even know that much.
Calvinism comes with a false gospel. So basically you are married to an unbeliever if your spouse is a Calvinist. Sad but true.
It's not always true!!! Anyone who believes the basic gospel is saved, whether you like it or not!!!
Help! My spouse believes God is sovereign, has a plan, and is choosing for Himself who will come into His kingdom.
I need all the strawman arguments you can help me come up with to combat this.
Respectfully: Your definition of 'sovereignty' is an unbiblical mind-trap, and I appreciate it is almost impossible to erase false definitions from one's mind.
Sincere Question for you: Do you think God has free will?
Obviously, your spouse isn't a Calvinist. Calvinists believe that God has already chosen individuals, even before he knew they would exist.
@@TimothyFish you mean precisely what the Bible says? Crazy!
@@DanielRevolt, the only reference to anyone before the foundation of the world is in reference to Jesus. It doesn't make sense for something that doesn't exist to exist before it exists.
@TimothyFish You said "before God knew they would exist." That's got to be one of the most ridiculous comments from a professing Christian I've ever heard. Are you a professing Christian?
You believe God doesn't know who He creates and gives life to in the future? Huh.
To you there are "accidental lives" created under the radar of an Omnipotent and Omnipresent Lord God?
What religion are you?
Rougecalvanist asked me a question on a livestream of his I joined and that was why did you believe the gospel and the atheist did not? And I don't think I gave a very good response to that question. So I wanna ask Jason and others here that same question. "Why did you believe the gospel but not the atheist?"
Some reasons maybe why unbelievers reject the Gospel.
No fear of God. Ro 3:18, Ps 14:1
Just another religious option. Acts 17:23
Not sensitive to sin. 1Tim 4:2
Do not think they are sinners. Ro 2:1, 3:23
Desire and approve sin Ro 1:24-32
Love darkness. Jn 3:19
Pleasure in unrighteousness. 2Thess 2:12
Unbelievers forbid and Satan hinders the hearing of the gospel. 1Thess 2:16-18
Satan blinds minds. 2Cor 4:4
Our liberty, a stumbling block. 1Cor 8:9
Not willing. Jn 5:39-40, Acts 26:28
Resist the Holy Spirit. Acts 7:51
Never heard the gospel that saves. Ro 10:17, 1Cor 15:1-4
It is solely by the grace of God that a sinner comes to believe the gospel of Jesus Christ.
@@doulos9828 I agree with that.
"WHY did YOU believe when others didn't? Where you wiser, smarter?"
The question IMPLIES that the CAUSE of FAITH, is salvation.
No, the CAUSE of salvation is God, the CAUSE of faith is the individual.
Rom.5:2
"Through him, we have also obtained access BY faith INTO this GRACE in which we stand..."
Calvinism teaches the opposite;
"Through him, we have also obtained access by (Irresisitble) GRACE, into this (gift of) faith in which we stand."
You believed because you had a WILLIGNESS to do what was right.
The Calvinists will argue that this WILLINGNESS was "GOOD" & therefore your EARNED your salvation by believing.
This is false.
Paul writes in Rom. 7:18;
"For I know that NOTHING GOOD dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I HAVE the WILLINGNESS to do what is right, but NOT the ability to carry it out."
Having willingness to do what is right, is defined by Paul as "Nothing good".
Hey man I also apologized on my community tab, but I just wanted to say the video is not that bad, you are not being divisive in the home here in any way. You're using your counseling skills which are far more reputable than your ability to exegete scripture.
We are not the same kind of dudes. I could never be a counselor when someone has powerful emotions to present because I absorb them and I'm not very skilled at processing them, and how I respond often comes off as too cold and logical.
I respect the gift that you have as a counselor in the body. You should approach more topics that are not regarding theology, and Branch this out into common ailments of the Christian soul.
I appreciate your kind response, feedback, and transparency! Hope you have a blessed week.
Hey are you ready to unblock me and re post all the comments that you deleted on your channel? You know the ones where I kindly challenged your claims and you let your true colors show?
I would say that I am mostly calvanist. I agree with TULIP but probably differently from how calvanists do. I believe we are totally depraved but not to the point where we can't accept the gospel. I believe in unconditional election in the sense that it is not conditioned upon what what we do or how we live. Irrisistable grace... if you understand how bad you are and how good God is and how much he loves you... how could you not wanna put you trust in jesus?
Perseverance of the saints, well there are bible passages that say that God will keep us saved.
I would classify that last sentence as preservation of the saints.
I appreciate the fact that you stressed approaching this issue with a loving demeanor. As someone whos been married for 35 years I can attest to the fact that a loving demeanor is important with potentially difficult subjects.
Also, I agree that doing Bible studies on the subject together is of utmost importance. This way the non-Calvinist partner would actually see what the Bible says and be convinced that Reformed Theology is biblically sound.
The reformed calvinist biblical sound is the satan conducting a great deception. Calvinism reformed theology are nothing like Jesus when applied to heart mind body soul.
If they were doing a real Bible study then they would never see that “reformed theology is biblically sound.” They would see that there isn’t even one verse that supports it……..
@@JohnK557 so Reformed theology had been debated for over a thousand years but you claim there isn't a single verse supporting it. Do you not see how silly that is?
@@bucky91361 No, anything can be taken and read out of context. Don’t you see how silly it is to appeal to the knowledge of man. There are many other false systems that have been debated for much longer. So does that mean scripture supports those views?
@@bucky91361Reformed Satanic stamina living through disintegrated cultists. Surely one of the greatest works of the satan , Aug Gnostic wellspring of reformed theology / calvinism / doctrines of grace ( lol, there is no graciousness for Gods imagers)
quite evident in many reformed calvinists too.
The title should have read Help my spouse is “Not” a Calvinist. Calvinism or the Doctrines of Grace is biblical truth,it’s a proper exegesis of biblical passages. So you hate the truth. By the way I am sure satan is thrilled that you and Leighton Flowers spend all of your time attacking Calvinism (the truth) instead of fulfilling the Great Commission as commanded by Christ.
Hey, are you FREE GRACE and EASY BELIEVISM , or what ? I hate Calvinism, that’s why I’m here :)
Calvinism, Protestantism, if you're believing in faith alone and that you can still sin against God every day and still be in the kingdom your all doomed to hell.
Do you not sin everyday?
That implies that faith is a work. It isn't faith that we believe in but in Jesus Christ. It isn't through works that we are saved but because Jesus paid the debt and has offered us salvation.
your spouse is biblical
Absolutely, and thank God she doesn't believe the lies of Calvinism.
@@michaelking4578 the spouse is biblical... not the lady complaining
@@tomtemple69You have no ability to discern between what is biblical or unbiblical when you believe that God wills and predetermines all evil, sin, and DECEPTION. You are not all knowing so you are at least partially deceived by God according to the laws of determinism. When your foundation for truth is a deity of deception then you can know nothing…….
@@JohnK557 what kind of spirit did God send to Saul after the Spirit of God left him?
go read 1 Kings 22
you seem to have a real issue with the fact that God chooses who to save so you try to attack determinism
ok, you have free will in all things except salvation
happy now?
@@tomtemple69 Did God predetermine that Saul would have no choice but to disobey Him and leave His Spirit so that He could punish Saul for what He determined for Saul to do. Thanks for the advice but I have read it…… I just read it without nonsensical presuppositions where God is working against His own will.
These passive agressive anti-Calvinist videos are just so transparent. You are just trying to take another approach but with the same results. You ain't foolin no one my brother
Would love for you to share how you would counsel someone if they came to you with the same concerns.
He was preordained to do a passive aggressive anti-Calvinist video kinda transparent. Why are you fighting God?! I guess you were preordained to to so as well.
@@roykhan2730 Was Christ death burial and resurrection preordained, or was it as trivial as your last post?
@@rogervincent2092 Elaborate your presupposition to help me reply appropriately
@@rogervincent2092So was his last post “trivial” or preordained? I’m confused because you don’t speak as-if you actually believe your own claims???
Help...my spouse is an Exhaustive Self Determinist. Please pray its Gods will to break through the imaginations of his/her having an autonomous free will.
DW: The irony of such a thought is - in EXHAUSTIVE DIVINE DETERMINISM (aka Calvinism) every impulse and every perception which comes to pass within the human brain - comes to pass by antecedent factors (infallible decrees) which are totally outside of the human brains control. Having been FIXED IN THE PAST by an infallible decree which grants NO ALTERNATIVE from that which it decrees.
So praying for that to NOT be the case - is to pray against the very Determinism one is supposed to be embracing!
A classic example of DOUBLE-MINDEDNESS
What a hoot!!! 😀
Firstly, no free will believer considers themselves to be “exhaustive” about their ability to determine their choices. This would mean we believed ourselves capable of determining all things about our reality.
That is insane. No free Will believer in history has ever believed this, and we are perfectly happy to state that God ordains the good majority of things. We merely believe that our sins are our own free fault and not God’s, and that the Gospel is powerful enough to empower a dead sinner to either believe or reject the Truth like it says in Romans. That’s is all. Nothing else. Exhaustive Self-Determinists is a rather frail straw man. I don’t think it even exists, if I’m being quite frank.
Secondly, even if someone could be an Exhaustive self-determinist, wouldn’t that mean that they were doing so because God ordained them to?
If your opinion is correct, all views of so-called “exhaustive self-determinism” comes from God for His glory. Who are you, oh man, to answer back to God?
@@GhostBearCommander ESD=Fatalism and is the "bottom-less pit." Yes, anyone who believes unregenerated man has a "free" will hasn't been humbled under the mighty hand of God yet. And, God Determines who He humbles and who He doesn't.
@@GhostBearCommander DW: Yes you are correct. "Exhaustive self-Determinism" would be the idea that a human has the power to determine EVERYTHING (hence the term exhaustive) that comes to pass.
And no human being who has a normal stable brain would ever believe that.
On the other hand - there are those who tell themselves they believe in exhaustive DIVINE determinism.
But these people are lying to themselves. And the clear evidence for that is to simply observe how that person treats events which come to pass which they don't personally like.
Events which come to pass which they do *personally like*
For those events that person will AFFIRM exhaustive determinism.
He will ascribe those events to it - and treat those events *AS-IF* they were infallibly decreed - and as such could not have been otherwise.
But with those events which that person *does not personally like* he will DENY the very determinism he just affirmed - and treat those events *AS-IF* they were NOT infallibly determined - and could have been otherwise.
So there is really no such thing as a TRUE determinist.
What they really are - are DOUBLE-MINDED people - who lie to themselves about believing in Determinism - when they really don't.
@@GhostBearCommander You said "No free will believer in history believed this." Wrong. Satan still believes he can overthrow the will of God through his imaginary autonomous free will. God has blinded him to Truth so He can continue using him as His rod.