one thing my high school english teacher always reminded us about is that cliche's, like bad similes, are cultural. i remember her going over a bunch of cheesy, tacky similes, like "her eyes sparkled like diamonds" or "her hair was golden like the sun" and stuff like that. all of our class groaned or snickered at it, but the exchange students, who were new to english, all thought those were beautiful expressions, and could not understand why she wanted us not to use them!
I agree but at the same time, using a cliche like "her hair was golden like the sun" sometimes serves a point, especially if the character is serving as that sort of trope, a fair maiden archetype almost. Or if by using that cliche your said something about her inner character as well. Just something to think about.
I really like that one... just not in that context. "'Who wants hot chocolate?' Mother asked. Three little heads popped up from behind the fort like prairie dogs from their burrows."
I paced, fists tightening. "Can't we just leave?" "Nope", Joe quipped, "There's a 10 foot wall topped with barbed wire." I closed my eyes and sighed. "Like the icing on a cake!" "Shut up, Joe!"
It reads like a sassier, snarkier version of the common metaphor. (Like if there were 200+ guards, vicious attack dogs, the fence was electrified, and the barbed wire on top was just the icing on the cake).
My issue as a ten year old writer was that I didn't know how to properly transition from one scene to the next if I wanted time to have past. I ended up knocking out my protagonist so much his brain damage would rival a veteran boxer.
Hey Guys! I run through the issues with similes pretty fast in this video so let me know if you have any questions. I hope my terrible childhood similes give you a good laugh! Thanks for watching!
I've just discovered your videos, and I'm working through the playlist. They're just great! Filled with so much information and so many tips. Thank you! And well done for being brave enough to read your twelve-year-old self's writing in public. I'm sure my own writing was way worse than yours when I was that age though!
I think bad similes are an artifact of how the education system teaches writing; you learn about similes and the teacher's like "Put similes in EVERYTHING! Use ALL THE SIMILES!", and you pick up bad writing habits that you have to unlearn later in life.
My favorate was "the moon hung like a dinner plate". I wouldn't mind reading that from a child's perspective, it could lead on to "her stomach growled, thoughts of leftover pizza.... (the adventure for pizza begins) lol
1:25 "... the similie does not suit the tone of the scene ..." This actually CAN be a good use of a similie, if the similie is used for juxtaposition or for comedy.
I agree whole heartedly, but there is a king of similes (and metaphors); Raymond Chandler. Here are a few: "His smile was as stiff as a frozen fish." "Even on Central Avenue, not the quietest dressed street in the world, he looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food." "Her smile was as faint as a fat lady at a fireman's ball." "The walls here are as thin as a hoofer's wallet." "The voice got as cool as a cafeteria dinner." "The kid's face had as much expression as a cut of round steak and was about the same color." "Tasteless as a roadhouse blonde." "I called him from a phone booth. The voice that answered was fat. It wheezed softly, like the voice of a man who had just won a pie-eating contest."
Another master of this discipline is (resp. was - I'm still crying sometimes..) Douglas Adams: "The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't." "Vogons have as much sex appeal as a road accident." "The effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick." (He really had some kind of sensibility for bricks) "Ford and Arthur popped into outer space like corks from a toy gun." “He was staring at the instruments with the air of one who is trying to convert Fahrenheit to centigrade in his head while his house is burning down.”
I love Raymond Chandler, though his similes are honestly not as important to me as his talent for imagery and mood. And I think eventually he got tired of the way out similes, as there are fewer in his later novels. Burroughs had a good Chandler-esque metaphor: "She named a price, heavy and cold as a cop's blackjack on a winter night."
I'm binge-watching all your old videos. Thank you! They're lovely! Useful too, but you're also a really nice companion to have chatting in the background while I clean up from the kids' dinner. Thank you especially for twelve-year-old you's writing! I always find bad examples much easier to deal with than good examples, even if they're made up for the purpose of illustrating how terrible things can get!
I actually kinda liked the barbed wire simile. Maybe not in its original form, but I think it has a sort of bitter levity to it. Mind you, I myself have a huge soft spot for black humor, so in such an otherwise bleak story I might try to go for something like this. Maybe if it's a multi-story building and the upper story was smaller than the bottom one, the barbed wire could look like "the icing on the world's most morbid cake" :D Weird associations can often say a lot about the POV character's state of mind. For the same reason, I think jarring similes can work if they're used as the centerpiece or the "punchline" of a description, rather than clarification. I often find descriptions kind of tedious as a reader, especially that of places; sometimes an offbeat comparison can add something memorable to it (used in moderation, of course). (kudos on your courage btw to read your own old writing on camera, I can't even bring myself to read mine in private :D)
I was thinking the same! In my opinion lighthearted similes and metaphors can work in dark tones (but not viceversa) because they pull ironic and can bring a whole new layer of humor that intensifies by contrast the ongoing tension. The key I think is to do it intentionally; a reader can often tell if that was a decision made for shock value or just a mistake.
In my experience, "icing on the cake" is used more often in negative contexts, where it's meant ironically (i.e., X has already doomed us, but there's also Y to add some superfluous doom), than in positive contexts.
I started watching your videos yesterday, and so far, this one is my favorite! I go through my own childhood writing and wish I could burn it. That writing is the reason we are where we are, though! You're brave for posting it (and we all thank you for the laugh) and it was great of you not to post other writer's...mistakes. :-D
It's 2020, and I'm working through all of your videos. This is my favorite so far. You're so passionate and helpful. I love how excited you get to share. And getting to hear a little of your 12-year-old writing, was so so fun. TY!
That was a huge help and also hilarious. Your 12-year-old writer self was just adorable! Also, crying laughing at the comments on here. Thanks so much for the video!
Holy crap. This is so funny. I spit coffee and almost short-circuited my keyboard laughing at "the car lock's popped up, like prairie dogs from their holes."
@Sam Visser: thanx :^) I was trying to write a bad one, but I failed... like hitting the winning shot in a game I was trying to lose. better? Uh... worse? ;^) :^D
I might disagree, slightly, with your view on similes here. I think as a general rule the saving them for when there is "a need for enhanced understanding" is good advice. However, I also think they can occasionally add color or flavor to the text. The "success" of this probably depends both on the style of the writer, and the stylistic preferences of the reader. For example: “A bullet will bounce off its arachnofiber weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest.” Neal Stephenson, Snow Crash I wouldn't call those similes "necessary," but I would call them "fun." ;) And I find Snow Crash - one of Neal Stephenson's earlier books - a thoroughly enjoyable read for its interesting and bizarre storyline and presentation. But that's just me. ;) Love your channel! Keep up the awesome work.
I actually enjoyed a lot of those similes, many would work with the right context. Thanks for the great explanations. I think several of the similes would make great additions to a children's book or an animated short story. Or like a weird situation where a parent is reading to their child and they have no other books and they are trying to take the serious book and make it more fun to the child. I imagine like a father who believes he is awful at telling stories trying to take this kidnapping story and make it age appropriate for bed time story.
So here's an idea I had while watching this video: I'm on the autism spectrum, and one symptom of this is that as a child I often completely missed the tone that books, movies, video games and often people I was interacting with were going for. Now that I'm an adult that isn't really an issue anymore, it's something my brother and I look back on and laugh about. Now, the idea I have is that, if I were writing a first-person story from the point of view of an autistic child, then similes that miss the tone could serve as a way to show the protagonist's characteristics as an autistic child. The main concern I have with it is that it might just be too much of a stretch to expect readers to catch on to that.
Brian Newman Yes! I was thinking the same. If you only "need" similes to strengthen the meaning of the beginning of the sentence, that almost seems to imply that the sentence is unclear. I'm sure that's not what you meant. After listening to all of these videos, I'm starting to feel like my writing sucks.
I find these pretty good for a twelve year old! :D I'm 26 and compared a modern house to a sugar-cube .... the problem is: it's a thriller :D soooooo don't feel bad about what you wrote. (Oh and my simile is gone, in case you were wondering ^^)
Good content. I would welcome expanding on the topic, although I understand that's a matter of the format you've chosen. I find my natural reaction to the topic is, "can we do better?" I'm not talking about punching up the prose, but can we achieve the same thing without pulling the reader out of the story? Metaphors, perhaps? They do come with their own flavor, but they're at least not a direct comparison. Perhaps it's just my early reading of Zelazny coming home to roost, but I think metaphors, even overwrought ones, still rarely come across as quite as sophomoric as a poorly wrought simile.
Yeah I went through the same thing. At first I used a lot of similes when they weren't necessary and it just bogs down a story and gets really grating looking back on them with fresh eyes. So I use them sparingly and only when it adds more to the world or the characters, or when the story just calls for them. I will however use the "Popping up like prairie dogs," simile. I also thought it was cool how you turned a kidnapping scenario into a cute event for the kidnapped. Maybe it would work if you're trying to show the innocence of youth or if the kidnappers aren't such bad people, and the character isn't taking the problem very seriously.
My understanding is that the simile should add emotion to a situation or observation, a layer added on top of what the reader sees as to thicken the tension or some other emotional impact not evident is straight description. How do you see this idea? Bad descriptions should be made clear so why add more? In my mind, it's for emotional impact and not to support details, but rather, invoke feelings. Your thoughts? What if a character has a habit of speaking with similes? In that case, my guess, inside dialogue it would be OK as a character speech trait, but not in narrative description?
Similes can be used to clarify emotional or physical details. Both can be helpful in different situations. A character speaking in similes is fine and not subject to the same rules, however it has potential to seem unnatural.
Fun fact: The so-called "private eye monologue" style of simile-heavy writing was codified by Raymond Chandler. Funner fact: Chandler was paid by the word. Draw your own conclusions :)
Loved this video! I was just waking up while watching and the prairie dog simile woke me up with laughter. This makes me want to take a look at my old writing. ♡
Can we talk about that she wrote these when she was 12? I think even tho it's not perfect by rules it's kinda genius to be so descriptive at the age of 12.
"Locks popping like Prairie Dogs" - I laughed and snorted out loud. All I learned from this video is you must have been funny as hell when you were 12, like a comedian's first appearance on the Tonight Show.
Super cool that you reviewed your own similes and "laugh" at them... Not that many people would want to put themselves in that situation. Courage and honesty points (= . I do also think that this "relaxed and casual" stance you have in the video helps you to connect to your youtube audience a bit more. You always make videos with good content, but we (I) don't see a lot of your "human side" if you know what I mean. Sorry about any typo and bad sentence structures... my english is a bit rusty.
Thank you for the laughs, this was great! I don’t get into similes and metaphors much but as a reader I love a good one. The second page of my book I’m writing describes a tidy room decorated in gray with orange accents like flames leaping from a bed of coal and ash. The girl living there is describing her new path in life I think the tone might work.
As a hobby writer I have found videos from Brandon Sanderson, Jim Butcher, and Pat Rothfuss, to be very helpful but finding an editor's perspective is completely awesome. The fact that you are a fellow Ginger makes it more so. All together is like finding an extra cookie in the pizza box... Wait a second there... if you want it author who has creating a character who is notorious for bad similes look for Brandon sanderson's Reckoners series. He made it his main characters schick.
My all time favorite similie was in T. R. Pearson's "A Short History of a Small Place," in which he said that his mother's brooch hung on her collar "as light and dainty as a railroad spike."
haha... I love this very much. I like the idea of ... "lol that kidnapped girl looks like a fish!" and I also don't understand the issue with the "Moon" simile... I always think my dinner plates look like moons whenever i hang them.
This makes me want to go back to my stories from eighth grade. I'm sure there's a bestseller there. Lol. It's just a reminder at how far you've come. I love the prairie dogs!
I have a simile for a magic room. One that can be locked with magic from the inside but not from the outside. I let a character compare it to a public toilet cabin. 😅 it's kinda funny, but that's not bad because it still fits the mood. What would you say to this?
The perspective character of the Reckoners series by Brandon Sanderson has "bad at making metaphors" as one of his character traits. He's so bad at it that he doesn't even realise it's actually similes he's bad at until book two, when it's pointed out to him. It's fun because since it's a first person narrator, not only his dialogue but the narration is full of purposefully bad similes. And it also makes it really impactful when there's the rare good one.
This was very useful, thanks for posting it! The 'popping up like prairie dogs' one could also come under 'unintended visuals' for me - as in, when I heard it, I literally 'saw' prairie dog heads popping up out of the car door locks, like some weird variation of whack-a-mole. Kind of hard to focus on the story after that... Mind you, I should talk. One of my worst: "A middle-aged man with a face like an angry potato stormed past us..." **shame.**
At first I thought the title was "7 Common Reasons for Terrible Smiles". Which made me think of the word "grin/grinning". Stephen King has told how he got an overdose of the word "zestful" after reading Murray Leinster's Miners in the Sky. I experienced something similar when reading Old Man's War (which I anyway disliked for several reasons). Also Name of the Wind has been accused of having characters that are grinning a little too often. Sorry for the off-topic post.
"Packed to the gills" Although cars no longer have pop-up locks, they will always and forever make me think of prairie dogs. Thank you for sharing this valuable information in such fun and friendly way.
Here's a simile I wrote that I feel is a good one: "His eyes were like daggers, piercing deep into her soul. She swallowed. She hoped he wouldn't see through her deception. She worried he might."
Ahaha i see those a lot in fanfiction. Very informative, though I'm unsure if saying something like: "his skin was sandpaper" (which is more of a prose/poetry description) and: "his skin was rough like sandpaper" is the same? Do the rules/guidelines you explained in the video apply to more "flowery" descriptions that don't use "like" or "as" but still draw the connection between one thing and another? Sorry if this comment is messy and confusing, English isn't my first language haha.
You're talking about metaphors: referring to one thing by mentioning another but without comparing the two using "like" or "as". Your example with sandpaper is perfect. I'd say the same rules apply to both similes and metaphors because they serve the same purpose. However, metaphors are a little trickier as you're putting two seemingly unrelated things together without a link word and if you choose an object that's too far away from the original concept it can be difficult to understand for the reader. I'd be extra careful too with using clichés that have been done a thousand times in poetry. Other than that, metaphors are a great way to describe better in fewer words, especially if you already have some similes in your writing and you don't want to overdo them.
ayeletdrago It is fine to use similes if they make it easier to understand. If there is no need to compare the hands to actual sandpaper you may want to remove it. You might just want to say something like " he ran his rough hands ran along her..." this is simpler and it is usually better to put the description in an action sentence. Similes and other flowery language draws attention to the words you are using and takes attention from what is happening in the book. This can be bad for serious moments when something is happening. However, I see it used sometimes to draw attention away from bad things or give a humorous tone, especially in books for younger readers. (Younger readers are more accepting of humor mixed into serious books.) this helps set a distinctive tone of voice which helps give the main character personality because these books for younger audiences tend to use first person viewpoint. The rules are more about writing understandably than specifically metaphors versus similes.
Do similies not depend on the character making the comparison though. Like if the character was pining to return to the prairie that she was stolen from 30 years ago, would the locks popping like prairie dogs be ok if she had been kidnapped so long she was reverting to childhood or something?
I couldn't write anything interesting when I was 12 years old. (I am not sure I can now either.) But nothing beats a self deprecating video of a writer.
Thank you. I am working on my first book and your videos have helped me so much. I plan to join a group with beta readers, but I feel I need to finish my story first. What do you think?
In the Toto song "Africa" it took me ages to even figure out what they were saying because the simile was so bad: "Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti". Kind of a mouthful for a pop song. Also funny because it's comparing a mountain to another mountain but still fails to be an apt simile, since as mountains go they're really nothing alike.
Here is a passage from a novel I’m working on which contains similes. Any feedback welcome. I was going for an ominous feel when describing a domed city in a dystopian world. As a grotesque gothic statue looks out upon medieval streets so too he looks upon the lamp post lit crossroads from atop the ash-laden corner of these sloping fortress walls. Along these potholed thoroughfares of gravel, clay and mud march scores of men and women, denizens of Tranquillity they move like muddied shadows through artificial twilight and through the pale and feeble puddles of flickering fluorescent light.
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Hilarious like a duck dancing on my computer! :D I read many examples written by my mini-past me and most times my thoughts where just like "What the * did I want to say with these words? Editing can be much fun... Sometimes :D
I have made so many similar mistakes with my novel. I'm in trouble. Check this out and please tell me how bad it is. (At the sound of a gunshot from a distant dream ,two eyes open, disturbed, awakened from a deep sleep... One eye is blue as an ocean, and the other silver as a full moon. Like a beached fish, the old woman opens her mouth to breathe better, blinks a few times to try and focus until she recognizes the sound she had just heard.) I even included a fish simile!
OMG! 😂 i know this is 5 years old but please write this story! The jarring similes are making me laugh so hard! Genuinely not being mean! You somehow managed to turn kidnapping into a comedy.
Just re-brand your kidnapping story as comedy and I think you have a winner
BigTexGent this made me laugh!
You won the internet today 🤣
I was thinking the same, hahahah
Maybe it would be possible to write a story with absurd similes on purpose? That would be fun
one thing my high school english teacher always reminded us about is that cliche's, like bad similes, are cultural. i remember her going over a bunch of cheesy, tacky similes, like "her eyes sparkled like diamonds" or "her hair was golden like the sun" and stuff like that. all of our class groaned or snickered at it, but the exchange students, who were new to english, all thought those were beautiful expressions, and could not understand why she wanted us not to use them!
Ok that’s kind of adorable.
I agree but at the same time, using a cliche like "her hair was golden like the sun" sometimes serves a point, especially if the character is serving as that sort of trope, a fair maiden archetype almost. Or if by using that cliche your said something about her inner character as well. Just something to think about.
Yeah, i actually liked the plate-moon simile. Sometimes, they appear to be crescent shaped, but a plate is usually round.
If you used the fish simile in a different way. Like," she sat there with her mouth open like a fish and a hook latched on, she was caught off guard"
that was well explained Ellen, like a teacher bleeding crimson jewels of knowledge
PickingPaul1 Someone learned their lesson like a middle school dropout
You guys are corny like cow feed.
You guys are funny, like dead frogs
You guys made me laugh like The painting; The scream
Popping up like prairie dogs!! Your similes might not have been the most appropriate, but they certainly were adorable. 💜
I really like that one... just not in that context.
"'Who wants hot chocolate?' Mother asked. Three little heads popped up from behind the fort like prairie dogs from their burrows."
She must be from the Interior West.
"The spaceships hung in the air in exactly the way that bricks don't." -- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy
Terribly evocative.
She had teeth like the stars. They came out at night.
Englehard Dinglefester I love that, genuinely.
isn't that a poem
Poetry ... sheer poetry 😉😂
Lmaoo
Scary
At first I thought the title said terrible smiles 😁
me too
This video gave me terrible smiles. Terribly _good_ smiles ;^)
Daniele19x19 same here
same!
Me too! :D
I paced, fists tightening. "Can't we just leave?" "Nope", Joe quipped, "There's a 10 foot wall topped with barbed wire." I closed my eyes and sighed. "Like the icing on a cake!" "Shut up, Joe!"
Used as a more "serious humor" sort of take, it works quite well. Especially if someone is a smart ass.
That sounds as strange as a a dog at the circus - except bald.
It reads like a sassier, snarkier version of the common metaphor.
(Like if there were 200+ guards, vicious attack dogs, the fence was electrified, and the barbed wire on top was just the icing on the cake).
Hahaha! That was great! XD
Hahahaha i died
My issue as a ten year old writer was that I didn't know how to properly transition from one scene to the next if I wanted time to have past.
I ended up knocking out my protagonist so much his brain damage would rival a veteran boxer.
Yeah, they may as well be dead at this point
"I ended up knocking out my protagonist so much his brain damage would rival a veteran boxer." This is a metaphor, not a simile. 😉
Omg haahha
Wow same my character was always getting knocked out 🤣
Hey Guys! I run through the issues with similes pretty fast in this video so let me know if you have any questions. I hope my terrible childhood similes give you a good laugh! Thanks for watching!
Ellen Brock yore 12 year old similes werent that bad. You were definitely on the right path. Really enjoy the video's
Ellen Brock that was hilarious =p I cringe at my old writing, too. Love your videos, great tips
Hi Ellen. Do you think mixing a childish/comic simile in a dark/dangerous situation could increase the effect by contrast in some cases?
I've just discovered your videos, and I'm working through the playlist. They're just great! Filled with so much information and so many tips. Thank you! And well done for being brave enough to read your twelve-year-old self's writing in public. I'm sure my own writing was way worse than yours when I was that age though!
"Like a dog at the circus, but bald" was my favorite. Wonderfully daft.
I think bad similes are an artifact of how the education system teaches writing; you learn about similes and the teacher's like "Put similes in EVERYTHING! Use ALL THE SIMILES!", and you pick up bad writing habits that you have to unlearn later in life.
Agreeeeeeeeeed!
My favorate was "the moon hung like a dinner plate". I wouldn't mind reading that from a child's perspective, it could lead on to "her stomach growled, thoughts of leftover pizza.... (the adventure for pizza begins) lol
"Yo're not going to be impressed by my 12 year old writing skills"
Neither my 21 year old writing skills.
-Neither- Nor
lol same i come up with the weirdest similies but i love it
"he looked like a sunburnt Santa"
1:25 "... the similie does not suit the tone of the scene ..."
This actually CAN be a good use of a similie, if the similie is used for juxtaposition or for comedy.
That made made me laugh like a hyena being tickled on its tummy by a funny clown.
I agree whole heartedly, but there is a king of similes (and metaphors); Raymond Chandler. Here are a few:
"His smile was as stiff as a frozen fish."
"Even on Central Avenue, not the quietest dressed street in the world, he looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food."
"Her smile was as faint as a fat lady at a fireman's ball."
"The walls here are as thin as a hoofer's wallet."
"The voice got as cool as a cafeteria dinner."
"The kid's face had as much expression as a cut of round steak and was about the same color."
"Tasteless as a roadhouse blonde."
"I called him from a phone booth. The voice that answered was fat. It wheezed softly, like the voice of a man who had just won a pie-eating contest."
Another master of this discipline is (resp. was - I'm still crying sometimes..) Douglas Adams:
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
"Vogons have as much sex appeal as a road accident."
"The effect of drinking a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick." (He really had some kind of sensibility for bricks)
"Ford and Arthur popped into outer space like corks from a toy gun."
“He was staring at the instruments with the air of one who is trying to convert Fahrenheit to centigrade in his head while his house is burning down.”
I love Raymond Chandler, though his similes are honestly not as important to me as his talent for imagery and mood. And I think eventually he got tired of the way out similes, as there are fewer in his later novels. Burroughs had a good Chandler-esque metaphor: "She named a price, heavy and cold as a cop's blackjack on a winter night."
I'm binge-watching all your old videos. Thank you! They're lovely! Useful too, but you're also a really nice companion to have chatting in the background while I clean up from the kids' dinner. Thank you especially for twelve-year-old you's writing! I always find bad examples much easier to deal with than good examples, even if they're made up for the purpose of illustrating how terrible things can get!
This was both helpful and adorable.
How about this:
"Who wants Desert?" said mum.
Three little heads popped out from behind the bed like Prairie Dogs from their burrows.
Popping pimples and describing the pus. ;)
I actually kinda liked the barbed wire simile. Maybe not in its original form, but I think it has a sort of bitter levity to it. Mind you, I myself have a huge soft spot for black humor, so in such an otherwise bleak story I might try to go for something like this. Maybe if it's a multi-story building and the upper story was smaller than the bottom one, the barbed wire could look like "the icing on the world's most morbid cake" :D Weird associations can often say a lot about the POV character's state of mind.
For the same reason, I think jarring similes can work if they're used as the centerpiece or the "punchline" of a description, rather than clarification. I often find descriptions kind of tedious as a reader, especially that of places; sometimes an offbeat comparison can add something memorable to it (used in moderation, of course).
(kudos on your courage btw to read your own old writing on camera, I can't even bring myself to read mine in private :D)
I was thinking the same! In my opinion lighthearted similes and metaphors can work in dark tones (but not viceversa) because they pull ironic and can bring a whole new layer of humor that intensifies by contrast the ongoing tension. The key I think is to do it intentionally; a reader can often tell if that was a decision made for shock value or just a mistake.
Yes, absolutely! And you're right that readers can tell when something is intentional or just poor writing.
In my experience, "icing on the cake" is used more often in negative contexts, where it's meant ironically (i.e., X has already doomed us, but there's also Y to add some superfluous doom), than in positive contexts.
Got stuck for 20 minutes on a terrible simile last night, so this video is fortuitous, like finding a lucky penny... (dang it)
Great video! It was funny and helpful. Thanks for sharing your childhood writing.
Adorable descriptions in a dark gritty thriller. I could listen to these all day.
I started watching your videos yesterday, and so far, this one is my favorite! I go through my own childhood writing and wish I could burn it. That writing is the reason we are where we are, though! You're brave for posting it (and we all thank you for the laugh) and it was great of you not to post other writer's...mistakes. :-D
I like some of J.K Rowling's similes. For example ''like a bad tempered flamingo''. It's really funny.
This is a great video, like a good book on a warm afternoon.
It's 2020, and I'm working through all of your videos. This is my favorite so far. You're so passionate and helpful. I love how excited you get to share. And getting to hear a little of your 12-year-old writing, was so so fun. TY!
That was quite adorable.
That was a huge help and also hilarious. Your 12-year-old writer self was just adorable! Also, crying laughing at the comments on here. Thanks so much for the video!
This is gold and your reactions are priceless. Love it.
Holy crap. This is so funny. I spit coffee and almost short-circuited my keyboard laughing at "the car lock's popped up, like prairie dogs from their holes."
I just found your Channel now I can't stop watching your videos. Keep them coming and thanks for the great work.
That was adorable!
*Absolutely!* I was going to subscribe, but then, like a sky yearning to be blue, I realized that I already am. ;^)
yapdog I feel like your description was far too underrated. Uhhhh, like a comment...that wasn't highly...rated...
@Sam Visser: thanx :^) I was trying to write a bad one, but I failed... like hitting the winning shot in a game I was trying to lose. better? Uh... worse? ;^) :^D
I might disagree, slightly, with your view on similes here. I think as a general rule the saving them for when there is "a need for enhanced understanding" is good advice. However, I also think they can occasionally add color or flavor to the text. The "success" of this probably depends both on the style of the writer, and the stylistic preferences of the reader.
For example:
“A bullet will bounce off its arachnofiber weave like a wren hitting a patio door, but excess perspiration wafts through it like a breeze through a freshly napalmed forest.”
Neal Stephenson, Snow Crash
I wouldn't call those similes "necessary," but I would call them "fun." ;) And I find Snow Crash - one of Neal Stephenson's earlier books - a thoroughly enjoyable read for its interesting and bizarre storyline and presentation. But that's just me. ;)
Love your channel! Keep up the awesome work.
That was so cute! Thanks for being brave enough to post it!
I actually enjoyed a lot of those similes, many would work with the right context. Thanks for the great explanations.
I think several of the similes would make great additions to a children's book or an animated short story. Or like a weird situation where a parent is reading to their child and they have no other books and they are trying to take the serious book and make it more fun to the child. I imagine like a father who believes he is awful at telling stories trying to take this kidnapping story and make it age appropriate for bed time story.
So here's an idea I had while watching this video:
I'm on the autism spectrum, and one symptom of this is that as a child I often completely missed the tone that books, movies, video games and often people I was interacting with were going for. Now that I'm an adult that isn't really an issue anymore, it's something my brother and I look back on and laugh about. Now, the idea I have is that, if I were writing a first-person story from the point of view of an autistic child, then similes that miss the tone could serve as a way to show the protagonist's characteristics as an autistic child. The main concern I have with it is that it might just be too much of a stretch to expect readers to catch on to that.
I think that could be a good device, though you might need to recruit a neurotypical reviewer to feedback whether you gauged it right each time
How about a similar video on when similes and metaphors are a good idea?
Brian Newman Yes! I was thinking the same. If you only "need" similes to strengthen the meaning of the beginning of the sentence, that almost seems to imply that the sentence is unclear. I'm sure that's not what you meant. After listening to all of these videos, I'm starting to feel like my writing sucks.
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I absolutely love how you don’t like using other peoples writing in negative examples
Not sure how much you like being called adorable, BUT THAT WAS FRIGGING ADORABLE. Character flaws irl are just the best.
The fish simile was gold X)
I imagine a goldfish doing duckface above the surface of the water.
There weird thing was it made her sound like she was waiting to be fed.
You've become regular morning viewing for me, EB--always brighten my day :^)
I find these pretty good for a twelve year old! :D I'm 26 and compared a modern house to a sugar-cube .... the problem is: it's a thriller :D soooooo don't feel bad about what you wrote. (Oh and my simile is gone, in case you were wondering ^^)
I'd be on edge with that description... if I was a type 2 diabetic ;^)
Good content. I would welcome expanding on the topic, although I understand that's a matter of the format you've chosen. I find my natural reaction to the topic is, "can we do better?"
I'm not talking about punching up the prose, but can we achieve the same thing without pulling the reader out of the story? Metaphors, perhaps? They do come with their own flavor, but they're at least not a direct comparison. Perhaps it's just my early reading of Zelazny coming home to roost, but I think metaphors, even overwrought ones, still rarely come across as quite as sophomoric as a poorly wrought simile.
Similes so bad... even the author doesn't know what they were supposed to be expressing. Thumbs up for such a wonderfully candid video. :)
Yeah I went through the same thing. At first I used a lot of similes when they weren't necessary and it just bogs down a story and gets really grating looking back on them with fresh eyes. So I use them sparingly and only when it adds more to the world or the characters, or when the story just calls for them. I will however use the "Popping up like prairie dogs," simile.
I also thought it was cool how you turned a kidnapping scenario into a cute event for the kidnapped. Maybe it would work if you're trying to show the innocence of youth or if the kidnappers aren't such bad people, and the character isn't taking the problem very seriously.
My understanding is that the simile should add emotion to a situation or observation, a layer added on top of what the reader sees as to thicken the tension or some other emotional impact not evident is straight description. How do you see this idea? Bad descriptions should be made clear so why add more? In my mind, it's for emotional impact and not to support details, but rather, invoke feelings. Your thoughts? What if a character has a habit of speaking with similes? In that case, my guess, inside dialogue it would be OK as a character speech trait, but not in narrative description?
Similes can be used to clarify emotional or physical details. Both can be helpful in different situations. A character speaking in similes is fine and not subject to the same rules, however it has potential to seem unnatural.
Haha, I kept avoiding this video, because I thought it was about smiles. This was so great and ... satisfying to hear.
Keeping your composure in this video was stellar. Lol Thanks for sharing 😊
Fun fact: The so-called "private eye monologue" style of simile-heavy writing was codified by Raymond Chandler. Funner fact: Chandler was paid by the word. Draw your own conclusions :)
You just gave me a great idea for a character: A guy that always use bad similes, great for comic relief
Loved this video! I was just waking up while watching and the prairie dog simile woke me up with laughter. This makes me want to take a look at my old writing. ♡
Can we talk about that she wrote these when she was 12? I think even tho it's not perfect by rules it's kinda genius to be so descriptive at the age of 12.
"Locks popping like Prairie Dogs" - I laughed and snorted out loud. All I learned from this video is you must have been funny as hell when you were 12, like a comedian's first appearance on the Tonight Show.
Super cool that you reviewed your own similes and "laugh" at them... Not that many people would want to put themselves in that situation. Courage and honesty points (= . I do also think that this "relaxed and casual" stance you have in the video helps you to connect to your youtube audience a bit more. You always make videos with good content, but we (I) don't see a lot of your "human side" if you know what I mean. Sorry about any typo and bad sentence structures... my english is a bit rusty.
Thank you for the laughs, this was great! I don’t get into similes and metaphors much but as a reader I love a good one. The second page of my book I’m writing describes a tidy room decorated in gray with orange accents like flames leaping from a bed of coal and ash. The girl living there is describing her new path in life I think the tone might work.
Thank you for sharing your own mistakes along with the good advice! Love these videos.
The 12 year you was so adorable 😍. Thanks for sharing. The video was very helpful, though I don't tend to use similes.
As a hobby writer I have found videos from Brandon Sanderson, Jim Butcher, and Pat Rothfuss, to be very helpful but finding an editor's perspective is completely awesome. The fact that you are a fellow Ginger makes it more so. All together is like finding an extra cookie in the pizza box... Wait a second there... if you want it author who has creating a character who is notorious for bad similes look for Brandon sanderson's Reckoners series. He made it his main characters schick.
Your childhood photo on the thumb of the video is absolutely adorable! :D
I loved the prairie dog simile. I have just discovered your very helpful videos and am happy to subscribe.
My all time favorite similie was in T. R. Pearson's "A Short History of a Small Place," in which he said that his mother's brooch hung on her collar "as light and dainty as a railroad spike."
Okay but this is super helpful! Thank you so much!
Your videos have helped me so much and improved my writing a lot, thank you :-)
My writing teacher used to REQUIRE similes in all of our descriptions! It made it 10x clingier to read my classmates work.
haha... I love this very much. I like the idea of ... "lol that kidnapped girl looks like a fish!" and I also don't understand the issue with the "Moon" simile... I always think my dinner plates look like moons whenever i hang them.
Love that you can laugh at yourself. Thanks for these tips!
This makes me want to go back to my stories from eighth grade. I'm sure there's a bestseller there. Lol. It's just a reminder at how far you've come. I love the prairie dogs!
Omg I loved that. Wow you are so good at this. Thank you!
I have a simile for a magic room. One that can be locked with magic from the inside but not from the outside. I let a character compare it to a public toilet cabin. 😅 it's kinda funny, but that's not bad because it still fits the mood. What would you say to this?
The perspective character of the Reckoners series by Brandon Sanderson has "bad at making metaphors" as one of his character traits. He's so bad at it that he doesn't even realise it's actually similes he's bad at until book two, when it's pointed out to him. It's fun because since it's a first person narrator, not only his dialogue but the narration is full of purposefully bad similes. And it also makes it really impactful when there's the rare good one.
This. Is. Gold!
Ha!
Fun seeing you let your hair down, Ms. Brock. The lesson is great as well. :)
Do you look at mixed metaphors anywhere? I always found them to be something of a double-edged sword of Damocles...
Thanks for sharing your old writing and laughing about it. I think we all literally LOL'd.
This was very useful, thanks for posting it! The 'popping up like prairie dogs' one could also come under 'unintended visuals' for me - as in, when I heard it, I literally 'saw' prairie dog heads popping up out of the car door locks, like some weird variation of whack-a-mole. Kind of hard to focus on the story after that...
Mind you, I should talk. One of my worst: "A middle-aged man with a face like an angry potato stormed past us..." **shame.**
I think your simile's great! It has concentrated new information in it, and it's funny.
Awesome! Thank you!
“Except bald!” Ellen, you are a comedic genius! Or at least your 12-year old self was. Please write a comedy novel. I’d buy it in a heartbeat.
At first I thought the title was "7 Common Reasons for Terrible Smiles". Which made me think of the word "grin/grinning". Stephen King has told how he got an overdose of the word "zestful" after reading Murray Leinster's Miners in the Sky. I experienced something similar when reading Old Man's War (which I anyway disliked for several reasons). Also Name of the Wind has been accused of having characters that are grinning a little too often. Sorry for the off-topic post.
"Packed to the gills" Although cars no longer have pop-up locks, they will always and forever make me think of prairie dogs. Thank you for sharing this valuable information in such fun and friendly way.
Here's a simile I wrote that I feel is a good one: "His eyes were like daggers, piercing deep into her soul. She swallowed. She hoped he wouldn't see through her deception. She worried he might."
Ahaha i see those a lot in fanfiction. Very informative, though I'm unsure if saying something like: "his skin was sandpaper" (which is more of a prose/poetry description) and: "his skin was rough like sandpaper" is the same? Do the rules/guidelines you explained in the video apply to more "flowery" descriptions that don't use "like" or "as" but still draw the connection between one thing and another? Sorry if this comment is messy and confusing, English isn't my first language haha.
You're talking about metaphors: referring to one thing by mentioning another but without comparing the two using "like" or "as". Your example with sandpaper is perfect. I'd say the same rules apply to both similes and metaphors because they serve the same purpose. However, metaphors are a little trickier as you're putting two seemingly unrelated things together without a link word and if you choose an object that's too far away from the original concept it can be difficult to understand for the reader. I'd be extra careful too with using clichés that have been done a thousand times in poetry. Other than that, metaphors are a great way to describe better in fewer words, especially if you already have some similes in your writing and you don't want to overdo them.
ayeletdrago
It is fine to use similes if they make it easier to understand. If there is no need to compare the hands to actual sandpaper you may want to remove it.
You might just want to say something like " he ran his rough hands ran along her..." this is simpler and it is usually better to put the description in an action sentence.
Similes and other flowery language draws attention to the words you are using and takes attention from what is happening in the book.
This can be bad for serious moments when something is happening. However, I see it used sometimes to draw attention away from bad things or give a humorous tone, especially in books for younger readers. (Younger readers are more accepting of humor mixed into serious books.) this helps set a distinctive tone of voice which helps give the main character personality because these books for younger audiences tend to use first person viewpoint.
The rules are more about writing understandably than specifically metaphors versus similes.
Do similies not depend on the character making the comparison though. Like if the character was pining to return to the prairie that she was stolen from 30 years ago, would the locks popping like prairie dogs be ok if she had been kidnapped so long she was reverting to childhood or something?
I couldn't write anything interesting when I was 12 years old. (I am not sure I can now either.)
But nothing beats a self deprecating video of a writer.
these similies are so precious!!
ngl, I'd buy that book, the similes are too precious
Thank you. I am working on my first book and your videos have helped me so much.
I plan to join a group with beta readers, but I feel I need to finish my story first.
What do you think?
Hysterical
Love your work
In the Toto song "Africa" it took me ages to even figure out what they were saying because the simile was so bad: "Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti". Kind of a mouthful for a pop song. Also funny because it's comparing a mountain to another mountain but still fails to be an apt simile, since as mountains go they're really nothing alike.
Great advice!
This vid had me in stitches!! "As strange as a dog at the circus...except bald" 😂😂 you're awesome, subbed!
My daughter has a food intolerance to food dyes. To her, "like icing on a cake" would imply danger and foreboding. ;-)
“She fell through the air like an eagle that had been killed by a hunter with a sawn-off shotgun”. Easily the best simile I ever wrote as a kid 😆
Here is a passage from a novel I’m working on which contains similes. Any feedback welcome.
I was going for an ominous feel when describing a domed city in a dystopian world.
As a grotesque gothic statue looks out upon medieval streets so too he looks upon the lamp post lit crossroads from atop the ash-laden corner of these sloping fortress walls. Along these potholed thoroughfares of gravel, clay and mud march scores of men and women, denizens of Tranquillity they move like muddied shadows through artificial twilight and through the pale and feeble puddles of flickering fluorescent light.
Hilarious like a duck dancing on my computer! :D I read many examples written by my mini-past me and most times my thoughts where just like "What the * did I want to say with these words? Editing can be much fun... Sometimes :D
Amazing video! Your young similies are lovely hahaha
I have made so many similar mistakes with my novel. I'm in trouble. Check this out and please tell me how bad it is.
(At the sound of a gunshot from a distant dream ,two eyes open, disturbed, awakened from a deep sleep...
One eye is blue as an ocean, and the other silver as a full moon.
Like a beached fish, the old woman opens her mouth to breathe better, blinks a few times to try and focus until she recognizes the sound she had just heard.)
I even included a fish simile!
Suddenly I want read the whole story!
OMG! 😂 i know this is 5 years old but please write this story! The jarring similes are making me laugh so hard! Genuinely not being mean! You somehow managed to turn kidnapping into a comedy.
I love this clip! I love it like it was To Kill a Mockingbird.
BTW, I think you meant that the dogs at the circus were in the audience.
Sharing this with my writing group. We need it like foam on an espresso.
That last example worked for me. A dog in a circus, but bald... is indeed strange.