They didn't want us in particular, they wanted anyone they could control. We were never that special to them like they were to us yet the love bomb phase happened. I believe that every narcissist will come to a sad end.
It's heartbreaking. Any normal person would think the world of someone who is honest, kind and loving towards them. The Narcissist only sees these qualities as something to exploit. They are completely twisted.
My partner seemed very loving and protective for quite a few years, until I actually asked for some proper commitment, and then the behaviour and general attitude changed . Sarcasm, secretive behaviour, and what turned out to be a catalogue of lies . My only crime was not listening to my gut, and making excuses for their poor behaviour. P.s Andrew . You could never be a narcissist 🙂
It’s no coincidence we call our hopefulness in someone our crime. I do the same thing at times but we have enormous hearts,love, and faith in humanity. I always prayed That my heart would not harden. I believe goodness and authenticity prevails. Now we have seen there are people not like us and have to guard our heart. They are master actors and manipulators . I will never be the same but we can become better versions of ourselves and live our best life. Wishing you peace, love, and trust in yourself ❤️ Thank you for sharing, I can relate
Hi Everyone What a releasing idea. Let's drop of all Narcissists at Islands. Each one at a lonely Island. Out of our world. Would'n that be such a releas? We would be ourselfs again without beeing so very carefull who we are dealing with. I like this vision even knowing it's not possible. Stay strong everyone.😘
My spouse was also loving , kind and protective and affectionate for a long time then he started to change. More sarcastic, critical, fault finding , secretive behavior as well. I’m the same in hindsight should have listened to my gut , intuition. Don’t feel bad I made excuses for the poor behavior and thought he would change. Realize in the beginning he was mirroring what I wanted to see in him . Then after being married awhile, they can become someone you don’t know .
Wedding day was amazing and that night he turned into Hitler. 20 years of him turning up as Casanova to everyone else and being Dracula behind closed doors.
Last year in September 2022 i was brutally discarded, came out of the blu ( vacation in Italy- typical for the narc to pick that occasion). He threw me out of our house, git a restraining order against me with false accusations. Took my beloved dogs away from me and so much more.... I will write a book pretty soon! Seriously! But ling story short: if I wouldn't have discovered your videos then - I wouldnt have survived all that pain, fear, agony..... Simple as that. Andrew you saved my life, I will be forever grateful! Thank you from the bottom of my ❤ Doing better now, getting stronger every day on my healing path. Thank you and all the best wishes for our community. God bless us all!
Good luck!! There are so many videos on TH-cam now on this topic. I am subscribed to multiple people. It's interesting to get different angles on this subject of narcissism
@kathleendubois7128 Thank you! They are evil, sick,ugly creatures! I'm glad I'm out, but still have to do some healing like a lot of us. But what would I've done without thus channel, Andrew in particular ( I'm watching also some others), they are good too but I LOVE Andrew, he helped me a lot!
Being an empath, polite & kind without the wisdom......can lead you right into their traps.We need to become educated, self reflect & learn how to walk in our callings. Letting others take advantage or abuse us because we care is unhealthy & we lose. Detach, heal & move on to your best life 🎀😘
100 percent true! Lile myself alot of us habe to get drug through the fire before we start our search in the aftermath, finding life saving channels like this one. Andrew!!!
I have come to understand exactly this, Andrew, that he wanted a puppet to make him feel better. Acknowledging this is the bitterest part of my healing after leaving him. My mind is still boggled how there are people in this world who will consciously DESTROY the person who has chosen to love and be committed to them. I have a whole new appreciation for the word "evil." He didn't have a psychological problem. 🙄No, this was evil intent at its best. You're helping me so much in my healing, Andrew, thank you. ☺
Good luck and remember, no contact ever again. Watch all the narcissism videos to learn everything about these people. Share knowledge with other people too. I notice people don't educate each other about this
I feel the same way I’ll never Comprehend but I will accept that it’s true. I will still hold on to my hopes and dreams of love and kindness but I will be discerning. Never again 🙏sending love and positivity to everyone here !
You are so right about the money. My narc husband stole thousands of dollars from me, racked up thousands in debt, and was very controlling when I wanted to spend my own money on myself. Crazy how much this occurs, these people are sick.
I feel your pain. 💝 There’s nothing the narcissist concerns themself more with than money and other people’s money. Even leaving a bank account statement out is fair game for them to sneak around and look at it. They’re not smart about it though because they then turn around and talk to other people about it. Word gets around and quickly, they really enjoy the drama.
Yes! They certainly do want your money. One woman I knew actually showed me several bills that read past due. Did she expect me to pay them? I saw her place and I couldn’t see how she owed so much. She also asked me to put a designer purse on my cc. Did she need a purse to keep the power on?! Another one told me she’s on assistance. She got a divorce settlement she said a financial advisor friend stole her settlement. Either she spent it or offshored it. Another one is divorced many years and several red flag statements in retrospect. Terrible users and soulless creatures. Yes! Awakened now and getting stronger and now very cautious about everyone now.
My ex had a job and told me she was unemployed. I paid her rent, food and she bought things online using my account. I also bought her expensive items, like Jewelry, gadgets and handbags. I have no idea what she did with her own money
I've never seen so cheap person as narcissist was. For years he spent no cent of his. The best moment was when he asked that I pay internet for his company with stupid explanation. I said no and he said that I'm rude. I'm only sorry that wasn't enough leading to disaster when he took all money. And he bought no drop of fuel ever. Also I've got no gift from him, literally none...and so on....
You've lost your appetite before you went to the BBQ after hearing " don't open your mouth " Dont talk to anyone " Those words ring in your head as you stand near the drink stand. After 3 drinks listening to all the nonsense and picking at potato chips. Your salty lips come unglued and it's down hill from there. The next morning you wished you rolled off the terrace before the night began. That small voice that says " don't go " . Please listen to it.
The words " I can't take you anywhere become the standard ". This is after sitting quietly in a corner for years being silent. You become a kicked dog and you start to bite back. The guilt of this feeds the cycle of yucky..... you act up because you just want it end. Such a unhealthy way to deal with the meaness you've encountered.
I'd never marry again, it's a con, a legal bind, a government contract expensive to untangle from. If I were to ever meet anyone again, and they wanted to marry, I might agree to a non-legal ceremony, with vows made to God of our commitment to one another, but I'd never sign on the dotted line.
41 years and then she just left with no contact for 7 months. Everyone else says she doesn't have someone else but I say bullhonky. This has cheating written all over it.
I was an over the top empath for several years . I can say that I’am no longer like that , & have learned to say “no” & agree with you absolutely Andrew , that simple word is seriously underrated . This video , I think is definitely one of your best , listening to you today , was like deja vu’ of the last 20 + years of my life . Thank you for what you do , it has positively helped me . Much appreciation to you !
You said it right: Deja vu !!!! Same here for 22 years. Scary but it is/ was what it is! Thanks to Andrew we can overcome, elaborate all those terrible things done to us! I appreciate him so much, he helped me immensely over the last year! Wishing you all the best! 😊❤
I can tell a.story about the "surprise" 1oth anniversary party everyone else did the prep and planning for..one the daughter and 2 the husband. The whole nightmare of that day..in tears trying to do a "renewal" of vows..you can not make this up..who would? It's beyond Stephen Kings Church..or it..wayyyyy beyond..Stephen King telling you about his weekend at summer camp truly would not be so troubling.
12yr. Marriage, 3kids, 4 counseling about about me with anger issues, hiding money, tuck control over money, when I was disable from stress, stroke, no access to my account? There’s no love, learn the hard way!! She want all things!! Collecting child support, from my social security, wile living with here! Stayed broke the hole time no money, she was hiding here money from me!! I can go on!! Thanks for you steering me to the right direction!! Working on mine!!
NARCDAILY NAILS IT EVERY TIME!! 💪 (I married and divorced my ex narc twice in 25 years) Wedding night 1- I ordered pizza in the hotel room while he hung out at the pool most of the night. Wedding night 2- He informed me, for the first time, that he did not want me traveling home anymore to visit my family. Had a rage fit in the middle of the upscale restaurant. Didn't see him for several days after that.
The day after...boom! Mask off. Evil. Marriage with the narc was like a shape shifting kaleidoscope of masks and escalating abuse that became truly frightening physical abuse that left me with severe injuries. 3 months out... climbing out of trauma. Thank you for your knowledge, it's invaluable and so very helpful. 😘
The thing is that we all need people....but narcs USE people to the NTH degree,,they become like a god in your life...and they give your crumbs in exchange for devotion and help...money....status....some type of help.......they leave you mentally/spiritually and emotionally drained.
My faith in humanity nearly died during and after my marriage to a narcissist. But this channel and others have not only educated me but also reminded me every day that there are a lot of genuine, caring people in the world, you just need to be looking in the right place.Thank you. 🙏🙂
just focus on your beam of love in your countenance with anyone you encounter. You will soon see the difference. When you are walking, driving, shopping, getting gas, et all. . You'll see strangers smiling back. Blsbbermouth mary
What is SLAVERY in human rights? " Slavery is when someone actually owns you like a piece of property. Servitude is similar to slavery- you might live on the person's premises, work for them and be unable to leave, but they don't own you." BTW. Devaluation started one day after the wedding. I am so happy to be out.🦋 Thank you for this insight, Andrew. You look very good, have a nice evening! ❤
Another tactic of the enemy is to enter into a relationship with you...all with bad intentions! OR (if the human is good for you) They can monitor who you date and ruin their life at work.... until they leave you. The amount of manipulation behind the scenes is staggering.
Regarding the financial abuse, my experience with the narcissist was he was as cheap as can be. Begged me to quit my full time job, and that he'd take care of me. Yea, take care, as in full control from therein. Always pennypinching for years, yet he managed to go on expensive hunting trips. My family inheritance was spent on home repairs and a new truck for him, and pretty much living off of those monies for years...certainly, not from the dead end business he owned. Then, denies that I ever did anything! Verbal and financial abuse made me a prisoner to this human for years. Control is their middle name. BTW: #22 on likes today Andrew. 😉🙌
My ex vous and said that to me as well - “quit your job and I will take of you”. This was pre-marriage and IN the marriage and post-divorce! He really wanted me to be a street kid and devalue me
One thing I learned from the horrible Narcissistic Abuse - NEVER IGNORE YOUR INTUITION! His grin and fake laugh always made my skin crawl. My gut screamed at me many times that he was dangerous and not to be trusted and I ignored it at my peril. These skills are primal and have been honed over thousands of years of human existence to help us avoid dangerous animals and aggressive humans who mean us harm.
It is a saying if You hear a story that doesn't make sense it doesn't pass the smell test////another one: doesn't hold water....@@JH-td4mn it is a kitchen phrase for seeing if something is gone bad...
I would also like to add to when you were speaking as “the narcissist”: “ after I make you do all those things and withhold what I’ve withheld from you, I will turn around and tell YOU that YOU are LAZY and that YOU do NOTHING here”.. that is a real life example from me.
Ditto! However, there was one time of perfect clarity in which she said that she had invested zero to the relationship for around seven years of our ten year marriage at that point. But, just a couple of weeks later she accused me of being 100% the problem...both of these statements can't both be true at the same time. Though, I would have said that she DID invest in our marriage...more of a divestment where all my energy/morale was sucked from me and given to her due to the constant belittling and general meanness. Such a vile person to live with. So glad to be free after 13 years of marriage/torture.
@@healthyquadrant6587 thank you for sharing this. The words that come out of their mouths are always twisted and don’t make sense. That sounds horrible that she accused you of being the problem yet still said she didn’t invest in the relationship for a period of time. Spot on, they can’t both be true. I’m also glad you are out of that relationship. My goal is to get away from the narc as well. I’m mentally and physically exhausted.
That was what I asked my sister last year. What did my brother want? She did not answer. Not knowing the answer to my question was super stressful because my brain could never solve it. It was like a riddle in The Lord of the Rings. It was a dangerous question that had to be answered. Finally, I realized that my siblings wanted everything I owned within myself and outside of myself. That.
As a widow who hadnt been in the dating pool for years- I was a prime target..and I had had a wonderful marriages so I was completely unprepared for the covert narc......He future faked, moved in, took advantage tried isolate me from family and friends and the cycle unfolded....although this was a brutal awakening post narc I am stronger and wiser!!! Thank you Andrew for the continued reminders...its a hard lesson but now I know!!!
This was so good Andrew. You nail the narcissistic personality so accurately and it is exactly what they do. This intentional argument…I never noticed it before today watching this, but huge lightbulb moment from seeing that modeled longgggg ago. As a child who is groomed to never step out of line and these arguments or rage fits that happen on the way to a gathering (like a family bbq), it destroys every moment meant to be enjoyed. Then forced to smile. It’s quite something isn’t it. They want full control. Will use any method necessary. Really great video. Always spot on. ❤🙏💪
💯🎯 They caught me in a vulnerable circumstance and also seen that I was blind to their shenanigans and tried to suck me dry of all I had left… including my identity and when I finally woke up and ended before they took all of me they said: “this relationship was a waste of my time”
Kids. Often they keep a victim staying with the narcissist . That is a fallacy. It is not worth it. The narcissist becomes their role model, and you are the slave Get out now, the kids will be fine.
You just explained my 45 . Repeat 45 year horrendous “marriage” to a very cruel Narcisit. Just to make a very important point, in this video you didn’t talk about physical or emotional violence. I just recently understood that my “ charming” narcisist was tormenting me with many types of violence : economic, religious , sexual, emotional violence . For more than 45 years I lived in absolute fear and servitude towards him and his family .
Yes!!! After learning the hard way it’s important to be a voice of reason for those who are vulnerable or are in vulnerable positions. There are not enough people who are advocating on behalf of others who might really need it. As Andrew has pointed out, many who do speak out are quieted and then they retreat or others don’t concern themselves with the situation because they want no part in it. That is respectable, but when it involves truly innocent lives then someone needs to be looking out for those involved. 💝
4 years...i felt there was something wrong. A baby...took care of his dog. He went i dont know were. Devalution discard everything. After the last beating i went. He destroyd my life. He wanted me back i said NO. For the first time. Have therapy now. But i feel peace. Got my family back. Those people have no soul. I saw the red flags because of the vids on you tube. You all saved my life!! ❤
I was with the narcissist for 11 years. He and I were only 18 when we got together, so I was young and inexperienced. Found out recently that he had been lying about me to pretty much everyone in his family - using me as an excuse to swindle money out of them behind my back. Meanwhile I was struggling to provide for us for years. For at least 2 of those years I paid for everything while he didn’t have a job. The rent, food, utilities, gas + his alcohol and cigarettes…etc. thousands of $ each month. Come to find out, he was swindling that money out of his family as well saying we needed it for food and rent and blaming me for it. Where was that extra money going!? Absolutely insane. Always wondered why people in his life thought negatively about me. He made me out to be some monster, meanwhile hiding the fact that he was extremely abusive and toxic. I’m lucky to be alive. He tried to isolate me from friends and family. Wouldn’t allow me to leave the house alone for 10 years except to go to work. The whole thing was absolutely insane. Can’t believe I was weak enough to tolerate those behaviors. So happy I’m free. You have helped to educate me on what narcissism is like. Thank you 🙏
Great video Andrew. Yes my ex narcissist wanted everything i had to offer and more. I was the one that worked, he never got a job in 7 years. I paid for the apartment i paid the bills and he still expected me to buy things for him. And if i didn't or just couldn't he would get angry and tell me what a horrible person i was . He would suggest that I get a part time job so I could afford more things. Never did he try and get a job, never lifted a finger to help me. He claimed that he was looking for a job but i know he wasn't. I know that all he really loved was what i could provide nothing else. I'm so happy to be out of that relationship. Thank you Andrew for the video and thank you everyone for your kind words. Stay strong everyone.
This explains my entire marriage with a narcissist, He continues to try to cheat on his wife with me. They never give you up. You have to totally disappear. You are also privy to other narcs. My last boyfriend was another one, a different type of narcissist. I believe it is an epidemic. You have to disappear from these freaks and never give them the time of day again and to also learn how to recognize one, build up your self-esteem. strength, and independence.
"What does the narcissist love more than money? That's right... your money!" I went through financial abuse in the narc relationship. Thankfully away from the relationship and appreciating this freedom and independence very much. Namaste. ❤️ 🙏 🌻
The only person any of us can ever rely on to fill us up is ourself. We should not and can not rely on anyone else to make us feel completely whole. As for being vulnerable, age can have a very big impact on who the narcissist picks to involve with their charades. Children are extremely easy to manipulate being forced into doing things without questioning what’s actually going on. When it involves a parent or someone who the child should essentially trust you learn to not say anything and go along with what’s been expected of you. When you do try to combat what’s happening the attempt is failed because it’s always the narcissist’s way or the highway. Thank you for another great video! ☀️✨✨
Love you Andrew! This is the hardest thing any of us will overcome. It sticks to you long after they’re gone. He committed the most contemptible crime so when I found out, I turned him in. Silence is acquiesce. But, he says there’s something seriously wrong with ME!? I broke over five months’ no contact but saw him clearly. He will make a giant smear campaign against me at his hearing, no doubt, as he says his lawyers strongly recommend that he not have contact with me. My testimony must be important then. I did it to for the children and it was HARD even though there was no vindictiveness for me. Yes, it’s THAT. Horrible secrets and lies but he says I nearly destroyed HIM with MY lies and deceit. Makes the head spin. It’s a long road and just because the monkey’s off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town. Thank you for what you do. The aftermath can be harder than the roller coaster because it all starts to become clear with no contact. So, I begin again. But he KNOWS and one day, when he’s free, I truly believe he will come to finish me off.
Like one of your videos. "once you see it, you can't unsee it." You want to learn more about it. Coverts are the worse. Like Chinese water torture. Drip, drip, drip. 💖💖💖
The narcissist wanted to turn you into a living robot who does everything for them without asking questions. Narcissist's want to dumb you down so that you only speak when they want you to.🤐
The day of the wedding after the meal and the wedding dance together he then ignored me for the the rest of the time until we went to our room. He hung out talking to others away from me. I was gobsmacked. I made excuses for his behaviour. Little was I to know that 30 years later I would still be making excuses for him. Thankfully we have been separated 9 months now. I am very happy as he was a constant negative presence bringing the whole family down. Now my adult children and I laugh and play music...it is like a wet blanket has been lifted and we can all now feel joy.
Their darkest nightmare when you see through the mask and cut them off silently and move on,especially if you’re better off financially,socially oh it’s like a silent fatal punch in the face.
Almost 2 years out of my toxic relationship discard date January 4 2022 and I'm so much better! Feels so good 🤗 to be out of that relationship found myself again living alone being my best friend again. I love it! It's been a long climb to the top of the mountain of in deference what I'm trying to say is you can do it too keep fighting! You can do it! And join your fellow brothers and sisters on top. We're waiting for you and supporting you as well. ❤️💪🏾
Always vetting… someone in a bus! Yes indeed and money is oxygen to them. Liars, cheats and thieves emotionally and tangibly - thanks Andrew - another gold video thank you 💕
It's crazy how all these stories are almost identical, in the last 15 years I was with 2 narcissist, overt and covert. Yes the patterns are so similar. I left both of them and I'm 3 months in on the healing journey... Andrew , maybe you could speak to "dark night of the soul" that happens to many of us. It was a very trying tome for me!!! And God bless you sir!
Re the stories being identical, that still blows me away. What's also incredible is that during both marriages, I sought help in the form of I individual counseling, marriage counseling and in the context of a psychological custody eval. Never once was my first husband's narcissism identified and based on what I now know, he was a textbook example! So what was going on in that profession? Ignorance or denial? (In fairness, I also read alot of self help books trying to figure him out to no avail. I wish this channel had been around then along with the internet lol..)
My ex not only would devalue me, but he also quite regularly mistook me for either his first wife or his long term (on/off) girlfriend he had before me. There were several occasions when he described events, blaming me, accusing me etc, when I was never involved, I didn't take part. They were events that happened in the past, before me before my time, with his first ex wife or girlfriend, but he was so convinced that it was me and I wasn't even there, how crazy is that? Certainly makes you feel crazy! But to realise that the person you are with doesn't even know who you are, I was just an extension, a replacement, of his former partners; I was punished for their 'crimes', things he didnt like that they had done to him.
Yes, I married the narcissist. He did change immediately. 32 years now. I'm starting to take care of myself now even as I need to secure my future. He's been the single wage earner all this time, so this will take a lot of time.
It was the most treacherous thing I had to endure "twice." All you say, Andrew, speaks volumes to me! I helped raise the daughter, and our son was adopted to keep me captive. These days are over, and I have peace, love, and true hope in my life!!! Praying for all new and veteran ones!!! 🙏 ❤ 🙏
My heart goes out to you. Once is too many times. I met my narcissist while I was going through divorce from an abuser. Thank God you and I and the rest of us here are finally out
That happened to me! My mother-in-law lived with me for 2 years and she was a beast! When she finally move out I burned sage in every room and opened all the windows. Got rid of all her junk! We could have used an exorcist to get the evil spirits out!😂
Yes sir, literally the 3rd day! WTH?!?!? I was BEGGING for annulment by week 3 when I KNEW (something is effed up here, I swear I was in the "twilight zone") & he vowed to NEVER change! After my annulment statement, he said "I am NOT speaking", and that was it, like a spoiled little 2 y.o. brat, would NOT speak to me until after that 30day annulment window closed! He won't divorce either, but guess what...? I DON'T CARE! THAT was my 1st AND MY LAST marriage anyway, BIG BABY!😂 Now who is getting the last laugh! BTW, Andrew, 11:55 is VERBATIM how it happens, holy crap, I couldn't make this up in my craziest imagination! 🎉 🥳🎊🥂STAY strong ya'll, you GOT THIS! ❤️🩹✌️🤗 Andrew!!! Namaste brother and thanks for keeping us on track with ALL of your wisdom, u da best! Sincerely S.
I often wonder what she wanted, was it love? I dont think so anymore, especially now that a year has almost passed. I think she just wanted supply, thats hurts having to accept that but here we are! ❤❤
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Means a lot ,I miss my boy Michael age 32 died in April earlier this year.We were probably both on the spectrum but I loved him
Great video as always no longer that doormat they want absolutely everything from you & more 🙏💕 I would love to be on that island 🏝️ enjoying the peace
I hope the Lord will bless you with his love, for all you are doing for other people. I recovered from the abuse, at one point being suicidal in the relationship. With❤love, your follower.
The path to my emotional AND spiritual healing began when I started watching these videos. Thank you, Andrew! I am especially grateful you introduced me to the reality of *REACTIVE ABUSE*
Money as if my own children didn't need that themselves? Or my grandchildren? My future never mattered to them and neither did my children n their children. Replacement of anyone is impossible to all. I was never a people pleaser though still just a little girl inside.
I can relate to everything you just described. Thought I was marrying the love of my life, and he seemed to be an entirely different man than the one I’m currently in a toxic marriage with 30years later. . Wondering if he really loved me , or only for what I could provide and supply to him. They should give classes on this subject to young people of both sexes in high school or college to warn them because I never heard about narcissism , totally ignorant. Now in hindsight I see all the signs were there and were going on all along.
Omg 😮you are speaking about my marriage. I have filed for divorce and are still in the process. I am a empath and I was the energy source and I was blind. Not anymore and I thank you for what you do. Thank you so much 🙏🏻🌻😇
Hi Andrew my girlfriend tells me to call her every day but I told her no no one tells me what to do it's so disgusting what people do to other people and it makes me sick to my stomach
She talked about marriage all the time.. Traingulation, the blame-sifting, silent treatment, provoking arguments, I didn't know what these things meant back then. I was gaslit, and though I couldn't put my finger on it, I could tell something was really off. Thank goodness I was wise enough to not marry her, I'd have a been toast!
They intentionally put the other person in a very stressful situation and u experience a total shock and helplesness and often in public where u depend on them - far away from home
BONJOUR ANDREW ,,, ALL THE WAY FROM FRANCE❤❤😊EACH word you are saying ALL TRUE,,, WE HAD UNBLIEVEABLE experience, last year,,,when I /WE WERE DENIED TO SEEING MY MOTHER!!! YES!! SHE KNEW WE WERE making this trip, BUT SHE WAITED FOR US TO ARRIVE IN OUR HOTEL,,, THEN she sent a Email not to come by !! Evil & total SICK CONTROL!!! NOT ANY MORE!!! WE ARE STRONGER,,, WISER & SMARTNER❤😊😊
My narcissistic ex husband manipulated me even when I was lying in the hospital trying to recover from a stroke that he probably caused. Trust me when I say it's not worth it.
The first wife of my x: same. Stroke. As a young woman. The second wife ran away leaving a big house and a very wealthy life behind. I was supposed to become the third wife but I escaped in time. All the best for you.
Financial abuse is also when you lend them your credit card and they spend a lot on it and only offer to help with a quarter of the amount spent .. it’s very sneaky and manipulative.. I was vulnerable when I met the narc.. my life was fine, I had a job and somewhat of a life .. but I was LONELY .. I really wanted to meet someone romantically .. it felt like everyone had someone .. I wish I wasn’t like that especially at that age (about 20 or 21).. I wish I was smarter and done something such as travel or a working holiday to multiple countries like my sibling did (he did it once to two countries but I would have loved to have done them in multiple places).. I feel stupid for being so desperate for a romantic relationship .. sad part is I still crave this .. because the only romantic relationship I’ve had is a narcissistic one.. it makes me sad.. to not know and maybe never know a normal relationship .. I’m shedding a tear as I write this.. I feel silly in doing so .. but it still hurts. Anyway, a bike ride for 10 hours? Wow! I don’t even go for walks for that long 😂 and when I go for walks it’s usually to an appointment or for groceries (still sticking with buying A LOT less now! Never know when a discard could occur before I’m ready to do it myself).. part of me is ready and part of me is not.. Andrew, thank you for this video. I resonated with all of it. What the narcissist wants is to isolate you and destroy you and then discard you when you have nothing left because of them. I just wish the world gets more educated and narcissism is eradicated. I said this before and I’ll say it again, in the words of Dr Ramani.. narcissism is an endemic. Thank you again and also I watched the video in landscape mode today (I usually watch it upright and sometimes read comments while listening). You were in a nice spot today. I think I saw a butterfly at one point behind you but I’m not sure. Lovely to see your hair flowing free. Thank you again.
They know what their doing- its all a plan to not be alone and stay in control. Reminder- they do not know Empathy, They Do Not Care For Spirituality & Their Existence Heavily Relies on Everyone Else- who provides a service for them- AKA: SUPPLY! Willing to provide supply for less to nothing in return. Andrew is not sugar coating anything. Peace To All.🙏💓
Narcs will definitely try to trap grade A supply by getting married quickly/pressuring the supply to have a baby with them. My ex narc started voicing an interest in getting married someday the second or third day we first talked. To me, that is WAY TOO EARLY for those kinds of conversations. I made sure he knew I wasn't ready for that, and so glad I never married him or had a child with him. I deeply, deeply empathize with those out there that must co-parent with a narcissist.. I'm so sorry to those who struggle with that. A good friend of mine divorced her husband recently, they had been together over 20 years. He is a narcissist and been cutting her down for years. He had left her for another woman that was younger..she's been devastated over trying to make it work for so long, only for him to leave her. I've been trying to build her back up, he's done his damage to her. I found out that this guy proposed to the other woman last March, they were married in July, not even a full 4 months after the engagement. That was definitely calculated, and I'm sure that quick engagement was his idea. These kinds of people immediately start changing the moment they know they've got you where they want you.
Never get married. Best way.
They are friends, relatives, co-workers...
rightON!
They didn't want us in particular, they wanted anyone they could control. We were never that special to them like they were to us yet the love bomb phase happened.
I believe that every narcissist will come to a sad end.
💯💯💯
"We were never that special to them"
Such truth
@MEL2theJ no we weren't! ❤
After I broke up with her and the narcisisstIc fog cleared. I realised how much I cared for her. And how little she cared for me.
It's heartbreaking. Any normal person would think the world of someone who is honest, kind and loving towards them. The Narcissist only sees these qualities as something to exploit. They are completely twisted.
My partner seemed very loving and protective for quite a few years, until I actually asked for some proper commitment, and then the behaviour and general attitude changed . Sarcasm, secretive behaviour, and what turned out to be a catalogue of lies . My only crime was not listening to my gut, and making excuses for their poor behaviour. P.s Andrew . You could never be a narcissist 🙂
Thank you for sharing 😉😇🙌❤️
It’s no coincidence we call our hopefulness in someone our crime. I do the same thing at times but we have enormous hearts,love, and faith in humanity. I always prayed That my heart would not harden. I believe goodness and authenticity prevails. Now we have seen there are people not like us and have to guard our heart. They are master actors and manipulators . I will never be the same but we can become better versions of ourselves and live our best life. Wishing you peace, love, and trust in yourself ❤️
Thank you for sharing, I can relate
Hi Everyone
What a releasing idea. Let's drop of all Narcissists at Islands. Each one at a lonely Island. Out of our world. Would'n that be such a releas? We would be ourselfs again without beeing so very carefull who we are dealing with. I like this vision even knowing it's not possible.
Stay strong everyone.😘
My spouse was also loving , kind and protective and affectionate for a long time then he started to change. More sarcastic, critical, fault finding , secretive behavior as well. I’m the same in hindsight should have listened to my gut , intuition. Don’t feel bad I made excuses for the poor behavior and thought he would change. Realize in the beginning he was mirroring what I wanted to see in him . Then after being married awhile, they can become someone you don’t know .
Same here. I never picked up the signs until it was too late. I feel you hun. I'm in the same boat.
Best friend the most dangerous
Wedding day was amazing and that night he turned into Hitler. 20 years of him turning up as Casanova to everyone else and being Dracula behind closed doors.
I am so sorry to hear that. These people have no limits. I hope you are doing well now.
@@AlwaysHope2019 thank you so much.
Yes I am.
Revenge: single and living my best life and genuinely happy without any thought or regret for him :)
@@vickigarvie4093 Thanks for the update Vicki ! Same here and I’m loving it as well…I have never had so much peace..
I had similar experience 25 year and now 8 years out
I used to say that if he was on a desert island he would get mad at the coconuts.
😄
Last year in September 2022 i was brutally discarded, came out of the blu ( vacation in Italy- typical for the narc to pick that occasion). He threw me out of our house, git a restraining order against me with false accusations.
Took my beloved dogs away from me and so much more.... I will write a book pretty soon! Seriously!
But ling story short: if I wouldn't have discovered your videos then - I wouldnt have survived all that pain, fear, agony.....
Simple as that.
Andrew you saved my life,
I will be forever grateful!
Thank you from the bottom of my ❤
Doing better now, getting stronger every day on my healing path.
Thank you and all the best wishes for our community.
God bless us all!
Welcome 😌🙏🙌❤️😇
Good luck!! There are so many videos on TH-cam now on this topic. I am subscribed to multiple people. It's interesting to get different angles on this subject of narcissism
All strength to you, you will get through this. These people are deranged. Be glad you are out
Same, my birthday month. What a birthday that was.
@kathleendubois7128 Thank you! They are evil, sick,ugly creatures! I'm glad I'm out, but still have to do some healing like a lot of us. But what would I've done without thus channel, Andrew in particular ( I'm watching also some others), they are good too but I LOVE Andrew, he helped me a lot!
Even when a Narcissist smiles, it's like looking at a Vampire 🥺
Being an empath, polite & kind without the wisdom......can lead you right into their traps.We need to become educated, self reflect & learn how to walk in our callings. Letting others take advantage or abuse us because we care is unhealthy & we lose. Detach, heal & move on to your best life 🎀😘
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100 percent true! Lile myself alot of us habe to get drug through the fire before we start our search in the aftermath, finding life saving channels like this one.
Andrew!!!
I agree I was the same
I am married to one. I hate it
😌😌💯
I have come to understand exactly this, Andrew, that he wanted a puppet to make him feel better. Acknowledging this is the bitterest part of my healing after leaving him. My mind is still boggled how there are people in this world who will consciously DESTROY the person who has chosen to love and be committed to them. I have a whole new appreciation for the word "evil." He didn't have a psychological problem. 🙄No, this was evil intent at its best. You're helping me so much in my healing, Andrew, thank you. ☺
Welcome 💯🙏🙌😌
Well said, I'm going through the same feelings.
Good luck and remember, no contact ever again. Watch all the narcissism videos to learn everything about these people. Share knowledge with other people too. I notice people don't educate each other about this
True. They look for people that they can take their kindness for weakness 💯❤️🤚😊
I feel the same way I’ll never Comprehend but I will accept that it’s true. I will still hold on to my hopes and dreams of love and kindness but I will be discerning. Never again 🙏sending love and positivity to everyone here !
You are so right about the money. My narc husband stole thousands of dollars from me, racked up thousands in debt, and was very controlling when I wanted to spend my own money on myself. Crazy how much this occurs, these people are sick.
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I also paid for everything! 🥺🥶
I feel your pain. 💝 There’s nothing the narcissist concerns themself more with than money and other people’s money. Even leaving a bank account statement out is fair game for them to sneak around and look at it. They’re not smart about it though because they then turn around and talk to other people about it. Word gets around and quickly, they really enjoy the drama.
Yes! They certainly do want your money. One woman I knew actually showed me several bills that read past due. Did she expect me to pay them? I saw her place and I couldn’t see how she owed so much. She also asked me to put a designer purse on my cc. Did she need a purse to keep the power on?! Another one told me she’s on assistance. She got a divorce settlement she said a financial advisor friend stole her settlement. Either she spent it or offshored it. Another one is divorced many years and several red flag statements in retrospect. Terrible users and soulless creatures. Yes! Awakened now and getting stronger and now very cautious about everyone now.
My ex had a job and told me she was unemployed. I paid her rent, food and she bought things online using my account. I also bought her expensive items, like Jewelry, gadgets and handbags.
I have no idea what she did with her own money
Once again, Andrew, you completely described my marriage. Happily divorced for 25 days and getting to know me again
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I've never seen so cheap person as narcissist was. For years he spent no cent of his. The best moment was when he asked that I pay internet for his company with stupid explanation. I said no and he said that I'm rude. I'm only sorry that wasn't enough leading to disaster when he took all money. And he bought no drop of fuel ever. Also I've got no gift from him, literally none...and so on....
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Mine was very GREEDY!
Thank God he's gone!❤
You've lost your appetite before you went to the BBQ after hearing " don't open your mouth " Dont talk to anyone " Those words ring in your head as you stand near the drink stand. After 3 drinks listening to all the nonsense and picking at potato chips. Your salty lips come unglued and it's down hill from there. The next morning you wished you rolled off the terrace before the night began. That small voice that says " don't go " . Please listen to it.
That's how mean they are! 🙏🥶
The words " I can't take you anywhere become the standard ". This is after sitting quietly in a corner for years being silent. You become a kicked dog and you start to bite back. The guilt of this feeds the cycle of yucky..... you act up because you just want it end. Such a unhealthy way to deal with the meaness you've encountered.
💯💯😉😉
I think it is when you finally snap and don't even recognize yourself.
I would never enter the 'deal' of marriage. Fake world.
Yes the narc kept asking to get married but something deep inside kept saying no. 12 years and I never married him.
I'd never marry again, it's a con, a legal bind, a government contract expensive to untangle from. If I were to ever meet anyone again, and they wanted to marry, I might agree to a non-legal ceremony, with vows made to God of our commitment to one another, but I'd never sign on the dotted line.
41 years and then she just left with no contact for 7 months. Everyone else says she doesn't have someone else but I say bullhonky. This has cheating written all over it.
God Bless ❣
@patsyballantyne.. Me too. It's better only being involved as a bridesmaid.. l think l've reached the bridesmaid glass ceiling, gladly.
I was an over the top empath for several years . I can say that I’am no longer like that , & have learned to say “no” & agree with you absolutely Andrew , that simple word is seriously underrated . This video , I think is definitely one of your best , listening to you today , was like deja vu’ of the last 20 + years of my life . Thank you for what you do , it has positively helped me . Much appreciation to you !
Welcome 💯🙏😌🙌
You said it right: Deja vu !!!! Same here for 22 years. Scary but it is/ was what it is! Thanks to Andrew we can overcome, elaborate all those terrible things done to us! I appreciate him so much, he helped me immensely over the last year!
Wishing you all the best! 😊❤
Perfectly said. You’ve clearly done the work.I really felt what you said. Resonated fully. Thank you 💕
True, and I don't help anyone that doesn't appreciate my help (it's OK if they appreciate later if Mentally Damaged)
And I thought I was the only one who was an over the top empath turns out I wasn't then .
A freak on a leash..a bird in a guilded cage. Control.
😌💯💯
I can tell a.story about the "surprise" 1oth anniversary party everyone else did the prep and planning for..one the daughter and 2 the husband. The whole nightmare of that day..in tears trying to do a "renewal" of vows..you can not make this up..who would? It's beyond Stephen Kings Church..or it..wayyyyy beyond..Stephen King telling you about his weekend at summer camp truly would not be so troubling.
SUPRISE!!!
🤢🤮😭
We are alive..ONLY BY A MIRACLE..THE BABIES AND I ARE ALIVE.
12yr. Marriage, 3kids, 4 counseling about about me with anger issues, hiding money, tuck control over money, when I was disable from stress, stroke, no access to my account? There’s no love, learn the hard way!! She want all things!! Collecting child support, from my social security, wile living with here! Stayed broke the hole time no money, she was hiding here money from me!! I can go on!!
Thanks for you steering me to the right direction!! Working on mine!!
Welcome 😌🙏🙌💯
Nightmare!!!😮
NARCDAILY NAILS IT EVERY TIME!! 💪
(I married and divorced my ex narc twice in 25 years)
Wedding night 1- I ordered pizza in the hotel room while he hung out at the pool most of the night.
Wedding night 2- He informed me, for the first time, that he did not want me traveling home anymore to visit my family. Had a rage fit in the middle of the upscale restaurant. Didn't see him for several days after that.
Thank you for sharing this insight 😌🙏🙌💯💯
Wow! 😮
Yes and we let them do this to you cause we were threatened that way in childhood and sometimes just cause we were vurnurable in this moment!!!
The day after...boom! Mask off. Evil. Marriage with the narc was like a shape shifting kaleidoscope of masks and escalating abuse that became truly frightening physical abuse that left me with severe injuries. 3 months out... climbing out of trauma. Thank you for your knowledge, it's invaluable and so very helpful. 😘
The thing is that we all need people....but narcs USE people to the NTH degree,,they become like a god in your life...and they give your crumbs in exchange for devotion and help...money....status....some type of help.......they leave you mentally/spiritually and emotionally drained.
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My faith in humanity nearly died during and after my marriage to a narcissist. But this channel and others have not only educated me but also reminded me every day that there are a lot of genuine, caring people in the world, you just need to be looking in the right place.Thank you. 🙏🙂
just focus on your beam of love in your countenance with anyone you encounter. You will soon see the difference. When you are walking, driving, shopping, getting gas, et all. . You'll see strangers smiling back. Blsbbermouth mary
What is SLAVERY in human rights?
" Slavery is when someone actually owns you like a piece of property.
Servitude is similar to slavery-
you might live on the person's premises, work for them and be unable to leave, but they don't own you."
BTW. Devaluation started one day after the wedding.
I am so happy to be out.🦋
Thank you for this insight, Andrew.
You look very good, have a nice evening! ❤
💯🙏😌🙌😊
My devaluation started after our first kiss I realized that on reflection.
@@Rachel-iStockholm
Truly unbelievable!!
@@Rachel-iStockholm What an awful thing to experience. Hugs.
Another tactic of the enemy is to enter into a relationship with you...all with bad intentions! OR (if the human is good for you) They can monitor who you date and ruin their life at work.... until they leave you. The amount of manipulation behind the scenes is staggering.
Regarding the financial abuse, my experience with the narcissist was he was as cheap as can be. Begged me to quit my full time job, and that he'd take care of me. Yea, take care, as in full control from therein. Always pennypinching for years, yet he managed to go on expensive hunting trips. My family inheritance was spent on home repairs and a new truck for him, and pretty much living off of those monies for years...certainly, not from the dead end business he owned. Then, denies that I ever did anything! Verbal and financial abuse made me a prisoner to this human for years. Control is their middle name.
BTW: #22 on likes today Andrew. 😉🙌
😌🙏😉💯
Almost exactly the same. Much love 💗
@@TheSeekeroftruth1 💕and ✨️
My ex vous and said that to me as well - “quit your job and I will take of you”. This was pre-marriage and IN the marriage and post-divorce! He really wanted me to be a street kid and devalue me
He absurd me financially, made sure my friends no longer existed, always made outbursts in the CAR!! Always starting fights via text
That smile of Andrew’s is Everything.🍂👍🏼✨😁😎. And it goes without saying that every word he spoke was truth.
😊🤭💯❤️
6:32 omg this is sooo true the moment I told them I loved them they stopped putting in the work! They started to get mean and nasty
As soon as they know you're hooked, that's when the real devaluation starts.
Yes🎉
One thing I learned from the horrible Narcissistic Abuse - NEVER IGNORE YOUR INTUITION! His grin and fake laugh always made my skin crawl. My gut screamed at me many times that he was dangerous and not to be trusted and I ignored it at my peril. These skills are primal and have been honed over thousands of years of human existence to help us avoid dangerous animals and aggressive humans who mean us harm.
Follow your GUT feeling! 👍
Red Flags and Smell Test...Do Not Ignore Them....True...True.....True....
@@sabianstringer2112 what is the smell test?
It is a saying if You hear a story that doesn't make sense it doesn't pass the smell test////another one: doesn't hold water....@@JH-td4mn it is a kitchen phrase for seeing if something is gone bad...
I would also like to add to when you were speaking as “the narcissist”: “ after I make you do all those things and withhold what I’ve withheld from you, I will turn around and tell YOU that YOU are LAZY and that YOU do NOTHING here”.. that is a real life example from me.
Ditto!
However, there was one time of perfect clarity in which she said that she had invested zero to the relationship for around seven years of our ten year marriage at that point. But, just a couple of weeks later she accused me of being 100% the problem...both of these statements can't both be true at the same time.
Though, I would have said that she DID invest in our marriage...more of a divestment where all my energy/morale was sucked from me and given to her due to the constant belittling and general meanness. Such a vile person to live with.
So glad to be free after 13 years of marriage/torture.
@@healthyquadrant6587 thank you for sharing this. The words that come out of their mouths are always twisted and don’t make sense. That sounds horrible that she accused you of being the problem yet still said she didn’t invest in the relationship for a period of time. Spot on, they can’t both be true. I’m also glad you are out of that relationship. My goal is to get away from the narc as well. I’m mentally and physically exhausted.
That was what I asked my sister last year. What did my brother want? She did not answer. Not knowing the answer to my question was super stressful because my brain could never solve it. It was like a riddle in The Lord of the Rings. It was a dangerous question that had to be answered. Finally, I realized that my siblings wanted everything I owned within myself and outside of myself. That.
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Wow!😮
@@emilywilson7308 Sad, but true. Aging.
You don't need to tell them "I love you" - I never did. The devalue will always come. It's just what they do.
As a widow who hadnt been in the dating pool for years- I was a prime target..and I had had a wonderful marriages so I was completely unprepared for the covert narc......He future faked, moved in, took advantage tried isolate me from family and friends and the cycle unfolded....although this was a brutal awakening post narc I am stronger and wiser!!! Thank you Andrew for the continued reminders...its a hard lesson but now I know!!!
I firmly believe that I, who am recovering from narcissistic abuse, will become a man like you. Namaste, Andrew.
This was so good Andrew. You nail the narcissistic personality so accurately and it is exactly what they do. This intentional argument…I never noticed it before today watching this, but huge lightbulb moment from seeing that modeled longgggg ago. As a child who is groomed to never step out of line and these arguments or rage fits that happen on the way to a gathering (like a family bbq), it destroys every moment meant to be enjoyed. Then forced to smile. It’s quite something isn’t it. They want full control. Will use any method necessary. Really great video. Always spot on. ❤🙏💪
Thank you 💡💡😉🙌💯
😊
Time Energy Trust
✊ Yes!
@@MEL2theJ 😑
Everything! 👍
I would soooo welcome the desert island challenge, it would be a nice time to be alone and reflect...
🏝️🥥🌊☀️🧠
Me too😂 Take me away!🌴
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They caught me in a vulnerable circumstance and also seen that I was blind to their shenanigans and tried to suck me dry of all I had left… including my identity and when I finally woke up and ended before they took all of me they said: “this relationship was a waste of my time”
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Situationship....
Spot on Andrew. Everything you said is exactly how it is. Narcisistic abuse is coming from hell. Thank you.
If someone ever asks you for money then simply say sorry I can't as I have a big credit card bill to pay. See how fast they disappear.
Kids. Often they keep a victim staying with the narcissist .
That is a fallacy. It is not worth it. The narcissist becomes their role model, and you are the slave
Get out now, the kids will be fine.
You just explained my 45 . Repeat 45 year horrendous “marriage” to a very cruel Narcisit. Just to make a very important point, in this video you didn’t talk about physical or emotional violence. I just recently understood that my “ charming” narcisist was tormenting me with many types of violence : economic, religious , sexual, emotional violence . For more than 45 years I lived in absolute fear and servitude towards him and his family .
sorry that happened to you. You are now free to live. So live strong! 💪❤💯
How We React and Handle People in Vulnerable Positions is What Defines WHO WE ARE. (Empaths Help Someone in Need, No Matter How Dire the Situation is)
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Yes!!! After learning the hard way it’s important to be a voice of reason for those who are vulnerable or are in vulnerable positions. There are not enough people who are advocating on behalf of others who might really need it. As Andrew has pointed out, many who do speak out are quieted and then they retreat or others don’t concern themselves with the situation because they want no part in it. That is respectable, but when it involves truly innocent lives then someone needs to be looking out for those involved. 💝
Yes...Yes a Million Times.....After all Who are We to Judge Someone in Crisis.....God Bless Sabian....@@danielle1103
I am a Super Empath and I will NEVER Kick Someone while They are Down...Instead I will will Reach Out to Help Them....
Without Judgement...
@@danielle1103I agree. 😊
I was financially abused for years.
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4 years...i felt there was something wrong. A baby...took care of his dog. He went i dont know were. Devalution discard everything. After the last beating i went. He destroyd my life. He wanted me back i said NO. For the first time. Have therapy now. But i feel peace. Got my family back. Those people have no soul. I saw the red flags because of the vids on you tube. You all saved my life!! ❤
I was with the narcissist for 11 years. He and I were only 18 when we got together, so I was young and inexperienced. Found out recently that he had been lying about me to pretty much everyone in his family - using me as an excuse to swindle money out of them behind my back. Meanwhile I was struggling to provide for us for years. For at least 2 of those years I paid for everything while he didn’t have a job. The rent, food, utilities, gas + his alcohol and cigarettes…etc. thousands of $ each month. Come to find out, he was swindling that money out of his family as well saying we needed it for food and rent and blaming me for it. Where was that extra money going!? Absolutely insane. Always wondered why people in his life thought negatively about me. He made me out to be some monster, meanwhile hiding the fact that he was extremely abusive and toxic. I’m lucky to be alive. He tried to isolate me from friends and family. Wouldn’t allow me to leave the house alone for 10 years except to go to work. The whole thing was absolutely insane. Can’t believe I was weak enough to tolerate those behaviors. So happy I’m free.
You have helped to educate me on what narcissism is like. Thank you 🙏
Great video Andrew. Yes my ex narcissist wanted everything i had to offer and more. I was the one that worked, he never got a job in 7 years. I paid for the apartment i paid the bills and he still expected me to buy things for him. And if i didn't or just couldn't he would get angry and tell me what a horrible person i was . He would suggest that I get a part time job so I could afford more things. Never did he try and get a job, never lifted a finger to help me. He claimed that he was looking for a job but i know he wasn't. I know that all he really loved was what i could provide nothing else. I'm so happy to be out of that relationship. Thank you Andrew for the video and thank you everyone for your kind words. Stay strong everyone.
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
Free from the Nightmare!😊
This explains my entire marriage with a narcissist, He continues to try to cheat on his wife with me. They never give you up. You have to totally disappear. You are also privy to other narcs. My last boyfriend was another one, a different type of narcissist. I believe it is an epidemic. You have to disappear from these freaks and never give them the time of day again and to also learn how to recognize one, build up your self-esteem. strength, and independence.
"What does the narcissist love more than money? That's right... your money!" I went through financial abuse in the narc relationship. Thankfully away from the relationship and appreciating this freedom and independence very much. Namaste. ❤️ 🙏 🌻
The only person any of us can ever rely on to fill us up is ourself. We should not and can not rely on anyone else to make us feel completely whole. As for being vulnerable, age can have a very big impact on who the narcissist picks to involve with their charades. Children are extremely easy to manipulate being forced into doing things without questioning what’s actually going on. When it involves a parent or someone who the child should essentially trust you learn to not say anything and go along with what’s been expected of you. When you do try to combat what’s happening the attempt is failed because it’s always the narcissist’s way or the highway. Thank you for another great video! ☀️✨✨
Welcome 😌🙏🙌☀️
Yes 💯
@@gratefultobehere 💯💯🙏
Absolutely! 👍💗
@@jannlewandowski5540 💗👍
Love you Andrew! This is the hardest thing any of us will overcome. It sticks to you long after they’re gone.
He committed the most contemptible crime so when I found out, I turned him in. Silence is acquiesce. But, he says there’s something seriously wrong with ME!?
I broke over five months’ no contact but saw him clearly. He will make a giant smear campaign against me at his hearing, no doubt, as he says his lawyers strongly recommend that he not have contact with me. My testimony must be important then.
I did it to for the children and it was HARD even though there was no vindictiveness for me. Yes, it’s THAT. Horrible secrets and lies but he says I nearly destroyed HIM with MY lies and deceit. Makes the head spin.
It’s a long road and just because the monkey’s off your back doesn’t mean the circus has left town.
Thank you for what you do. The aftermath can be harder than the roller coaster because it all starts to become clear with no contact.
So, I begin again.
But he KNOWS and one day, when he’s free, I truly believe he will come to finish me off.
Welcome 💯🙏😌🪨💪💯
You did the right thing and maybe saved someone from being the next victim ( one inevitably you).The best for you in court, if it ends up there.
Stay strong - he’s probably very scared of you now so don’t fret as they usually crawl away when 💯 rumbled. Never look back my dear 💕
Stay strong! 👍💪💪
You are strong and brave! Thank God for people like you!❤
I have made it a routine to listen to your videos before sleeping every night and it’s helping so much. Makes me feel stronger. Thank you Andrew!
Welcome 😇😴❤️
Like one of your videos.
"once you see it, you can't unsee it."
You want to learn more about it.
Coverts are the worse.
Like Chinese water torture. Drip, drip, drip.
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Yes, I had that too!
The new supply is WORKING for every kiss and hug … every second of attention 😂😂😂🤦🏽♀️
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Sadly true. So glad I don't have to do that any more. Like kissing and hugging a boa constrictor! We're not missing out on anything.
The narcissist wanted to turn you into a living robot who does everything for them without asking questions. Narcissist's want to dumb you down so that you only speak when they want you to.🤐
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Truth!! 💯
@@danielle1103 🕊🌻
They want a slave - nothing more. You have to make a list: What do those people for you and what do you for them... (There lies the answer)...
@@IsabellaPiesch Yes narcissists are takers not givers. Even when you are all given-out they still keep taking.
The day of the wedding after the meal and the wedding dance together he then ignored me for the the rest of the time until we went to our room. He hung out talking to others away from me. I was gobsmacked. I made excuses for his behaviour. Little was I to know that 30 years later I would still be making excuses for him. Thankfully we have been separated 9 months now. I am very happy as he was a constant negative presence bringing the whole family down. Now my adult children and I laugh and play music...it is like a wet blanket has been lifted and we can all now feel joy.
So pleased to hear that you and your children are happy now. All the best to you 💗
I really appreciate your videos.
Thank you 😌🙏🙌
Kisses from Greece💙🌷🙋
💯 on point Andrew they sure are lazy for sure and everything else you said. Yes the financial abuse is real.
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Their darkest nightmare when you see through the mask and cut them off silently and move on,especially if you’re better off financially,socially oh it’s like a silent fatal punch in the face.
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You are a lifesaver❤️
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They always have the stage at a party and they talk very loud to get attention
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They know what they are doing. Yep.
Almost 2 years out of my toxic relationship discard date January 4 2022 and I'm so much better! Feels so good 🤗 to be out of that relationship found myself again living alone being my best friend again. I love it! It's been a long climb to the top of the mountain of in deference what I'm trying to say is you can do it too keep fighting! You can do it! And join your fellow brothers and sisters on top. We're waiting for you and supporting you as well. ❤️💪🏾
Always vetting… someone in a bus! Yes indeed and money is oxygen to them. Liars, cheats and thieves emotionally and tangibly - thanks Andrew - another gold video thank you 💕
Welcome 💯🙏😌
It's crazy how all these stories are almost identical, in the last 15 years I was with 2 narcissist, overt and covert. Yes the patterns are so similar. I left both of them and I'm 3 months in on the healing journey... Andrew , maybe you could speak to "dark night of the soul" that happens to many of us. It was a very trying tome for me!!! And God bless you sir!
The Dark Night Of The Soul (This IS REAL)
th-cam.com/video/K2gfJ-GcO_o/w-d-xo.html
Mine was a Covert. 🥶
Re the stories being identical, that still blows me away. What's also incredible is that during both marriages, I sought help in the form of I individual counseling, marriage counseling and in the context of a psychological custody eval. Never once was my first husband's narcissism identified and based on what I now know, he was a textbook example! So what was going on in that profession? Ignorance or denial? (In fairness, I also read alot of self help books trying to figure him out to no avail. I wish this channel had been around then along with the internet lol..)
My ex not only would devalue me, but he also quite regularly mistook me for either his first wife or his long term (on/off) girlfriend he had before me. There were several occasions when he described events, blaming me, accusing me etc, when I was never involved, I didn't take part. They were events that happened in the past, before me before my time, with his first ex wife or girlfriend, but he was so convinced that it was me and I wasn't even there, how crazy is that? Certainly makes you feel crazy! But to realise that the person you are with doesn't even know who you are, I was just an extension, a replacement, of his former partners; I was punished for their 'crimes', things he didnt like that they had done to him.
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Yes, I married the narcissist. He did change immediately. 32 years now. I'm starting to take care of myself now even as I need to secure my future. He's been the single wage earner all this time, so this will take a lot of time.
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It was the most treacherous thing I had to endure "twice."
All you say, Andrew, speaks volumes to me! I helped raise the daughter, and our son was adopted to keep me captive. These days are over, and I have peace, love, and true hope in my life!!! Praying for all new and veteran ones!!! 🙏 ❤ 🙏
My heart goes out to you. Once is too many times. I met my narcissist while I was going through divorce from an abuser. Thank God you and I and the rest of us here are finally out
Andrew,
Can you please discuss how the Narc Inlaws go after the Daughter Inlaws.
Thank you.
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
That happened to me! My mother-in-law lived with me for 2 years and she was a beast! When she finally move out I burned sage in every room and opened all the windows. Got rid of all her junk! We could have used an exorcist to get the evil spirits out!😂
@@emilywilson7308 My Husband and I do the same but we didn't know your supposed to open the windows until recently. We have up'd our game!!
Thank you.
Yes! Everything got weird starting on the wedding night.
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Yes sir, literally the 3rd day! WTH?!?!? I was BEGGING for annulment by week 3 when I KNEW (something is effed up here, I swear I was in the "twilight zone") & he vowed to NEVER change! After my annulment statement, he said "I am NOT speaking", and that was it, like a spoiled little 2 y.o. brat, would NOT speak to me until after that 30day annulment window closed! He won't divorce either, but guess what...? I DON'T CARE! THAT was my 1st AND MY LAST marriage anyway, BIG BABY!😂 Now who is getting the last laugh!
BTW, Andrew, 11:55 is VERBATIM how it happens, holy crap, I couldn't make this up in my craziest imagination!
🎉 🥳🎊🥂STAY strong ya'll, you GOT THIS! ❤️🩹✌️🤗
Andrew!!! Namaste brother and thanks for keeping us on track with ALL of your wisdom, u da best! Sincerely S.
Namaste 😌🙏🙌
Forgot to add: I'm still watching each and every video, makes me so much stronger!
Greetings from Germany!
Namaste🎉
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I often wonder what she wanted, was it love? I dont think so anymore, especially now that a year has almost passed.
I think she just wanted supply, thats hurts having to accept that but here we are! ❤❤
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Hi Dirtbag! I hope you are well on your healing path!😊
@@emilywilson7308 Thank you E! And i hope you are as well.
Reminders such as songs or numbers or astrology still trigger me, but i am working on it😁
I feel sad ,world seems full of them Sinead Cornwall
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There are many good people still around.❤👍😀
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Means a lot ,I miss my boy Michael age 32 died in April earlier this year.We were probably both on the spectrum but I loved him
Andrew get some sun block you need to stay handsome to cheer us all up .Meant with love.
@@jannlewandowski5540 Thank you ,I am especially grateful to the predator hunting groups and in particular the decoys
@12:27 "...think about how they were when you first met them and then think of how they were when the relationship ended."
Truth!
Great video as always no longer that doormat they want absolutely everything from you & more 🙏💕 I would love to be on that island 🏝️ enjoying the peace
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Hi Coral..🖐💕
@@jannlewandowski5540 hi there enjoy your afternoon time for my walk 🚶♀️🌊 beautiful morning here 🇦🇺
@coral8313 Glad to hear it. I'm in NJ.
It's 6:18pm now..💗
Yes. The morning after.
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I hope the Lord will bless you with his love, for all you are doing for other people. I recovered from the abuse, at one point being suicidal in the relationship. With❤love, your follower.
The path to my emotional AND spiritual healing began when I started watching these videos. Thank you, Andrew! I am especially grateful you introduced me to the reality of *REACTIVE ABUSE*
Welcome 😌🙏🙌💯
Andrew👉🏽🙏🏽👍🏾👏🏽💯❤️✋🏾
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Money as if my own children didn't need that themselves? Or my grandchildren? My future never mattered to them and neither did my children n their children. Replacement of anyone is impossible to all. I was never a people pleaser though still just a little girl inside.
Exactly Bruh you’re on point
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I can relate to everything you just described. Thought I was marrying the love of my life, and he seemed to be an entirely different man than the one I’m currently in a toxic marriage with 30years later. . Wondering if he really loved me , or only for what I could provide and supply to him. They should give classes on this subject to young people of both sexes in high school or college to warn them because I never heard about narcissism , totally ignorant. Now in hindsight I see all the signs were there and were going on all along.
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Omg 😮you are speaking about my marriage. I have filed for divorce and are still in the process. I am a empath and I was the energy source and I was blind. Not anymore and I thank you for what you do. Thank you so much 🙏🏻🌻😇
Hi Andrew my girlfriend tells me to call her every day but I told her no no one tells me what to do it's so disgusting what people do to other people and it makes me sick to my stomach
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I understand exactly what you mean! 👍
Your right I was vulnerable my husband just passed away
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Very painful Andrew. This is so accurate. It's blowing my mind.
She talked about marriage all the time.. Traingulation, the blame-sifting, silent treatment, provoking arguments, I didn't know what these things meant back then. I was gaslit, and though I couldn't put my finger on it, I could tell something was really off. Thank goodness I was wise enough to not marry her, I'd have a been toast!
Honeymoon,? Mine was designated driver.
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They intentionally put the other person in a very stressful situation and u experience a total shock and helplesness and often in public where u depend on them - far away from home
BONJOUR ANDREW ,,, ALL THE WAY FROM FRANCE❤❤😊EACH word you are saying ALL TRUE,,, WE HAD UNBLIEVEABLE experience, last year,,,when I /WE WERE DENIED TO SEEING MY MOTHER!!! YES!! SHE KNEW WE WERE making this trip, BUT SHE WAITED FOR US TO ARRIVE IN OUR HOTEL,,, THEN she sent a Email not to come by !! Evil & total SICK CONTROL!!! NOT ANY MORE!!! WE ARE STRONGER,,, WISER & SMARTNER❤😊😊
My narcissistic ex husband manipulated me even when I was lying in the hospital trying to recover from a stroke that he probably caused. Trust me when I say it's not worth it.
The first wife of my x: same. Stroke. As a young woman. The second wife ran away leaving a big house and a very wealthy life behind. I was supposed to become the third wife but I escaped in time. All the best for you.
Yes Sir! 🙌
Thank you again NARCDAILY
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
My Ex narc Wife changed with in the first month of our marriage by the end of it all I couldn’t even recognize the person I married
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Financial abuse is also when you lend them your credit card and they spend a lot on it and only offer to help with a quarter of the amount spent .. it’s very sneaky and manipulative.. I was vulnerable when I met the narc.. my life was fine, I had a job and somewhat of a life .. but I was LONELY .. I really wanted to meet someone romantically .. it felt like everyone had someone .. I wish I wasn’t like that especially at that age (about 20 or 21).. I wish I was smarter and done something such as travel or a working holiday to multiple countries like my sibling did (he did it once to two countries but I would have loved to have done them in multiple places).. I feel stupid for being so desperate for a romantic relationship .. sad part is I still crave this .. because the only romantic relationship I’ve had is a narcissistic one.. it makes me sad.. to not know and maybe never know a normal relationship .. I’m shedding a tear as I write this.. I feel silly in doing so .. but it still hurts.
Anyway, a bike ride for 10 hours? Wow! I don’t even go for walks for that long 😂 and when I go for walks it’s usually to an appointment or for groceries (still sticking with buying A LOT less now! Never know when a discard could occur before I’m ready to do it myself).. part of me is ready and part of me is not..
Andrew, thank you for this video. I resonated with all of it. What the narcissist wants is to isolate you and destroy you and then discard you when you have nothing left because of them. I just wish the world gets more educated and narcissism is eradicated. I said this before and I’ll say it again, in the words of Dr Ramani.. narcissism is an endemic.
Thank you again and also I watched the video in landscape mode today (I usually watch it upright and sometimes read comments while listening). You were in a nice spot today. I think I saw a butterfly at one point behind you but I’m not sure. Lovely to see your hair flowing free. Thank you again.
You will find the right person in the end.
They know what their doing- its all a plan to not be alone and stay in control. Reminder- they do not know Empathy, They Do Not Care For Spirituality & Their Existence Heavily Relies on Everyone Else- who provides a service for them- AKA: SUPPLY! Willing to provide supply for less to nothing in return. Andrew is not sugar coating anything. Peace To All.🙏💓
I am a man. And five years ago, I became a friend of a charismatic man, who traumabonded me with him, just to make me his brother in law.
To feel seen, heard and understood; you're a blessing Andrew. Thank you🙏🏾🤎🌿
Welcome 🙏😊❤️
Narcs will definitely try to trap grade A supply by getting married quickly/pressuring the supply to have a baby with them. My ex narc started voicing an interest in getting married someday the second or third day we first talked. To me, that is WAY TOO EARLY for those kinds of conversations. I made sure he knew I wasn't ready for that, and so glad I never married him or had a child with him. I deeply, deeply empathize with those out there that must co-parent with a narcissist.. I'm so sorry to those who struggle with that.
A good friend of mine divorced her husband recently, they had been together over 20 years. He is a narcissist and been cutting her down for years. He had left her for another woman that was younger..she's been devastated over trying to make it work for so long, only for him to leave her. I've been trying to build her back up, he's done his damage to her.
I found out that this guy proposed to the other woman last March, they were married in July, not even a full 4 months after the engagement. That was definitely calculated, and I'm sure that quick engagement was his idea.
These kinds of people immediately start changing the moment they know they've got you where they want you.