Yes, the narcissist does know what they’re doing to you. It’s intentional evil behavior and it makes them feel good to make you feel bad. It’s really a hard thing to come to terms with and they don’t change. I’ve lived like this for 32 years and I’m done. I’m working on getting away physically but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I’ve already left him. ❤️🙏
Yes I agree I physically and emotionally drifted away it was my safe space,and I was able to focus on planning to leave,I hope you are ok sending love and prayers your way 👉🙏🙏🙏👉💖💖💖
I still feel trauma bonded.I used to have great empathy for him and his childhood issues and his Narc" condition"..but after almost 22 years I feel disgust but still am not 100% healed.
@cynthiabiel7714 You know what? I used to have such compassion about my husband over his upbringing. But now I see that while his childhood was rougher than mine in certain ways, mine wasn't exactly much fun. We have made different choices about how to handle life going forward. I don't EVER want to make other people feel bad or treat them carelessly because I know how crappy it feels to be regarded thoughtlessly by people who are supposed to care about me. And he has decided it serves him to put even more of the same crap he got as a child out into the world. Shame on him, because he out to know better. ❤
They sure _do_ ! They play their game until they run into someone who proves to be their brick wall. When they get caught, they lie, deflect, manipulate, gaslight, or pretend they have no idea what you’re talking about 🙄🤦♀️ Great video Andrew, as ALWAYS! Hope you’re enjoying your Friday afternoon! Love ya!!!🙌☀️🤗❤️🤗😇☝️☝️😁👍👍🩷💜🩷💜 My friends, I hope you all are having a WONDERFUL Friday yourselves! Don’t let narcs fool you… they ARE EVIL!!! 🙌😇💯🎯☝️🩷💜🩷💜
These people proudly wave the "nothing set in stone" flag, along with, "always tell the truth" (rules for thee but not for me.) It took decades to learn truth. Thank you, Andrew, for sharing from your heart.
Narcissists know that they are lying. They know that they are cheating on you. Some of them take pride in their skill at being able to deceive and manipulate other people, in order to get what they want.
They are fools - we found them out. They thought that they could play the same hand over and over and that we would keep taking it. Enough is enough and we deserve better. Thank God we have this community who understands and for Andrew who gets on here every day to help us move forward on the healing path. We are blessed! Have a good day. God bless 🙏
Exactly there always up to no good,,there isn't enough hours in the day for them scheming,,,they know what there doing,,and don't give a Hoot,,,Sending out love to all ,t.y.Andrew,👉💖💖💖🙏🙏
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone God will ask you to do those things that are not pleasant to you. It's not all puppies and rainbows in life. It's not always all about enjoying. Life doesn't work like that.
What is interesting is that at times I knew they knew what they were doing. I just did not have the strength to do anything about it. When you get so beaten down it is really hard to summon the strength within yourself to do something. This another of those vid that only by breaking free from this shit, you get to see. So glad there is this tribe of folks to help an share with. Thank you all!! Especially Andrew for creating this channel!
Yes I agree! After all the constant mind games, you can barely recognise yourself anymore in the relationship. Constantly appeasing them and trying to keep things peaceful. They thrive in causing chaos and confusion and have no concern for anyone else. You go to all kinds of lengths for them and that extra mile, it's never enough. Tired and worn out. We are on the healing path now, with Andrews help, blessed to be where we are now getting the wisdom and education. Keep moving forward and God bless us all on our healing journey. Our future looks bright! 🙏
It's very interesting how God works through other people. I haven't watched a single video on this topic, ever. And I get this video and channel recommended 1 year after I break up with my ex gf of ~6-7 years who was a narcissist apparently, because she's described perfectly by you in your videos. At that time I only thought that she had some minor narcissistic traits because she loved taking pictures of her all the time, doing perfect make-up every single day, editing the pics to look perfect etc, but now I realize that her entire being and personality was completely rotten and narcissistic. She lied with every opportunity and cared only about herself. I hated myself for my choices and for staying in that relationship for so long, but now I'm glad it happened because I learned so many things about life and people and it will be infinitely times easier to dodge other girls like that in my future relationship. I wish you all the best and God bless you brother :)
They do know what they are doing....that "smirk" is a dead giveaway. Making plans means nothing to them. Stood up and left standing and waiting for them after making arrangements with them to go out, they get a better offer - no show and went off with others, no explanation. Manipulating mind games. Poor form and cruel behaviour. Thank you Andrew for another great video.....very empowering. 🙏
That LOOK cracks me up every time Andrew lmbo😂😂😂😂. It's so true though...these narcissists are so caniving & honery!!... to say it NICELY! Mine was a covert narcissist for 21 long years! You have helped me SO MUCH Andrew...thank you and may God bless you my kind sir ☺️🕊️💜💪
Great video Andrew. Yes my ex narcissist knew exactly what he was doing, from the moment we met. He learned what to say to me to call for him. He knew that I really cared about him, so he used it against me. He knew I had a good job so he kept asking me for things more and more. He knew that if he yelled or got angry with me that I would forgive him. He knew that the things he was doing was hurting me and I was feeling very depressed and lonely. He knew all of that and didn't care not one bit. I'm happy that I'm free from that monster and I'm doing much better than ever. 18 Months no contact. Thank you Andrew and thank you everyone for your kind words. Stay strong everyone.
They definitely know what they’re doing and thankfully now WE know. Just took me awhile to agree it was so true and accept and not second guess. Great background 🌳 and you probably know, but you’re a lifeline to so many of us that really have struggled to grasp, understand, heal and let go of what has been so toxic. But we’re doing it. ❤🙏
Yes! I know exactly what you are talking about! After almost 10 years in a relationship, now I finally set myself free, and I did it by myself, no help or moral support from anyone (I probably attracted this individual because I have a similar type of narcissist in my family with whom the individual created connections without me knowing). I hope I will recover sooner than later, because this type of experience leaves you drained. And I must say that I have a very good radar for people, but this one I had me fooled, like you said, he was introduced to me by a person I trusted some how.
Yes, you are Right On!! On All levels! I was married to one in the 80's, 4 children, I felt like single parent, he was "traveling for work", I said I'm done, he tried the suicide game, which worked for him before we got married! But I didn't fall for it the 2nd time.. Then I went on to let another attach to me, for 20 years!! On and off! I thought I was "in Love"! Wow! So thankful I woke up a year ago! After he wanted hook up at a hotel in a small town away from people that would know him! I cried deeply and grieved after that June 2022 date. No turning back! As much as he's tried a hoover! No Way! Thank you Andrew for your messages!
You know, love does not have to be hard. If being lovinly seems hard, that should be a red flag. I live by, get along or git along( down the road jack) . If love does not come easy, it does not come. Lust is not love.
Yes Andrew mine did. Also I'm always alone. Not by choice either. So I adapt and make do for now. Time and other things will help me change it. Have a blessed day.😊
On top of their calculative behaviour they are cowards, running off from unsuspecting supply to supply in an endless destructive cycle. They had a real chance with us to enjoy a joyful authentic life, friendship & love. Nope. The don't get it. We need to move on & leave them behind. Ty
I just read through a lot of messages.. I was in the discard phase for 2 months. And I called her out so many times. I didn’t know what I should’ve done differently.. I didn’t know anything when I still had so much hope for the marriage. I didn’t know how much of an upper hand I could’ve had, but she KEPT MANIPULATING ME. Love bombing me, then throwing me down literally, biting me, then loving on me. Sending me that ONE I love you text out of 1,000,000,000,000. It was 7 years of just torturous hell. And I didn’t know any different. I vented to her about my father, what I was raised in, and she gave that abuse back to me tenfold. Trauma bond is real. For us, not the narcissist like she wanted to use against me. Call me the narcissist, but who’s with the new supply, divorce isnt, can’t even be final due to time out and state laws. I know my truth. Wishing everyone well. Thanks for another one Andrew.
It makes a BIG difference to finally have the words and the patterns defined about this kind of toxic personality. If I'd had the information earlier, I would have saved myself a lot of time and grief. Better late than never! I get to pull myself together and go on without being tormented anymore, and they get to go on repeating their same crap with the same hell in their head. Take care of yourself. ❤
@@cc1k435 I think everyone who found the info wishes for the knowledge earlier. I am one of those. But I finally put that aside and am grateful. The lack of this wisdom may have meant entrapment till my last days. Hallelujah Mama!!⚰🙄🙏
Spot on Andrew! Again, another excellent video. The narcissist is very, very good at faking normalcy. Once they know what makes you tick, they suck you in and entrap you. At this point, they've achieved their ultimate goal, CONTROL. The key to getting out is to eliminate their supply/fuel. Sometimes, it requires slow depletion of fuel over a period of time. While in it, you can do this by yellow and/or gray rocking it. Never let them know your plan until the last minute (or maybe not at all) and then make your move and run and get as far away from these toxic individuals as possible. Andrew's education here on this channel teaches you and helps you do this and understand all the complex layers and behaviors of the narcissist. Blessings & Best wishes to all here 🙏✨️💕
I think my Narc Ex knows what he is doing but rationalizes the severity or the wrongness of his behaviors..........He believes he is a good person that harms no one.When he gives it is with a HUGE pricetag.....even a hug was a reward.
One of the most poignant truths I have learned on this channel is I was never loved. I am so grateful I learned this, it answered so many questions as to why this or that happened. It changes everything knowing this was and is the truth, so much revelation. Thank you 🙏
💚💫🙏 The narc bad habits are so ugly . So true just could never just be . Yes and grovel to apologise for somthing I never did to keep the peace all the hard work I put into keeping my head above water . I woke one morning and in my mind I heard . Iife isnt meant to be so hard that was the breaking point for me ❤🎉😊
I just thought about this. My dad continuously disrespected me bc of the mother daughter relationship. He wasn't a drinker but was tipsy one night. I was a tween with a friend over for a sleepover. He mooned us and we were both disgusted. I'm sure she told her parents and not allowed to associated with me. After that she wouldnt speak to me. This was a long time ago when people didn't press charges. I reflected on whether his behaviour was driven by the disorder or if it was intentional.
@Harmonious-jm3sy Thank you. This memory was triggered by a recent dream.... and dreams seem to be sending messages recently to re-visit and deal with the old past. He was physically abusive but not secktual (purposeful misspelling for any monitoring flags). However, one of my brothers took up that familial disrespect. I'm sorry you went through that. I learned of my scapegoat role very early on and left. ... but met up another narcissist later. Thankfully, we can learn about these patterns thru such yt channels, etc.... I also had another dawning that my friend was probably also scared. She came from a family with a very gentle dad.
I have the worst kind of employment NARC following me...they are blocking me from any future career and have been following me to each job...starting trouble...no matter where I go.
@travvisstreeter5058,,take good care of yourself,,I think it would be wise to seek advice and help on your situation,,,(it sounds like harassment/stalking behavior,,Stay well and Safe,👉🫂💖💖💖🙏
Andrew… I’m an empath that got played to the core. It destroyed me toxic financial abuse triangulation. Picked myself up and doing well. The narcissist is still stalking me it’s crazy.
Hyper vigilance is not a lifestyle, and the silent treatment is not a retreat But the silence gives you breathing space to wake up ! They do know what they're doing but it's up to you what they can get from you !!
Players that play only by THEIR DIRTY CHANGING RULES That's why things may not make sense & cause you to question all the confusion. Crazy making is all part of their CONTROL! 🎀😘
It seems a possibility, when the N knows how all their relationships turn out, watching another person's dismay may be very intriguing to them. Seeing someone cringe and cry. Keeping them fooled with future faking and lies. It may as close as they get to ever get outside of their habituation to feelings they dont understand. Everybody is transactional targets. They think they are too... by you. It's really an addiction with the serial narc. New targets outside of the circle of past or current souring shituations is a must. It's the only prey where a fresh extraction can be performed semi-long term. Be glad to be out or working on it. It is the only way you really live again.
They knew, and we knew. What I mean is, they knew they didn’t care about the hurt they inflicted; we knew the love, forgiveness, kindness, thoughtfulness, and loyalty that we provided. We didn’t know that these people were ok with the abuse, and that it was abuse, but we know how much we gave to them, and that should be our focus now. ❤️❤️👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
@@jannlewandowski5540 I’ll tell ya, it’s been really hard. Dark night of the soul hard. But I’m passing it today. I’m seeing and giving in to my intuition with an intention to build my confidence to use it more than I ever had. It’s a growing process. Thank you for asking, it means so much I really really appreciate you. But how are you? Are you ok?❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thanks for the message. I see this as being particularly helpful as both prevention and recovery of/from narcissistic abuse cycle survivors, including myself. They want us to be gaslit crazy, so exposure is crucial!
Good afternoon (Sat) Andrew and everyone. Absolutely they know what they are doing. They look for innocent empaths and take advantage of them. Their minds are way ahead of ours, and they search for the right buttons to push. We, the empaths, think they are CHARMING. That's what I thought. BE CAREFUL out there. My narc was handsome and a charmer. I had a great job, i was happy go lucky! Hah! Thats what they want. Also, they are GREEDY...BEWARE PAYING FOR DINNERS- ALWAYS. I just about got away, but i left him. GREAT TOPIC ANDREW..❤❤
He threw me out of the tent when I was pregnant because i was shifting around too much. We were out in the woods. I slept on the picnic table. Luckily my sister in law brought a plastic tablecloth that covered part of the table so I could wrap up in it.
On semi annual family (of origin) get togethers, my sister would always bring up something I did/said from the prior get together from 3-4 months ago. Made me feel shamed or shitty. I thought this was her OCD. I said once, if this bothered you, why didn't you call me after it happened? (I'd long forgotten.). We haven't spoken in almost 3 years. Since I came out of the FOG, I remember a lot now!! It's a shame because in her 20s, before she married the narcissist (like all of us did), she was kinder.
Things happened that I didn’t share with other people. I barely let myself feel the trauma before I stuffed it. Now I’m feeling it. I haven’t been here for two years. I’m mad. I was crying I hate you you sob. Nobody does stuff like that. It was scary.
Oh the helicopters, no one would do that, you say oh yea, just google the subject, in face of facts the narssist will still argue their gaslighting b.s.
The part about the narcissist moving out happened to me. He cleaned the house out while I was at work and then called me and said he had to do a business trip so could I pick the kids up. I came home to a note blaming me for the demise of the relationship demise scrawled on the back of a used envelope. What a coward!
My ex tried to leave when I was at work, only because I told him an ex had done this to me before and it was very hurtful. He tried to trigger me again and cause more damage to my self esteem - but I came home earlier than expected, so I helped him pack. They are pure evil - only evil people want to break / hurt people. They want to scar us for life
They seem to know what they're doing, of course, and when enraged, they still seem to know, but are then feeling so compelled to do it that they don't get themselves in check. Not safe people to keep around that way. 😵
There were two people I knew and myself. They came to the house to take everything of value and to break me down, so that I wouldn't be too much of a trouble for them. When they'd gone I stood in the hall frozen, holding arms round my body. In pain. I don't remember what I did after that. I was alone with no help. Dad had past away some weeks before. It's strange how you can talk yrself into believing everything is normal, after what happened. But I know it's about surviving. And they who did this criminal act to me sure knew what they were doing. Thank you Andrew! /Annie❤
My daughter (36 yr old ) displays all narcissistic traits. I’ve read that ppl who become narcs do so because of abuse, stemming back to early childhood. This type of abuse includes over praising and putting them on a pedestal, or, of course, due to neglect in an abusive way. Therefore, is it always the parents fault?
My daughter is a narcissist and she loves to hurt me. She will wait till im no longer talking to someone, at this stage its my dad, it has been my ex in the past. She then contacts them, forms friendships with them to hurt me, she has never had a relationship with my dad, my dad has never bothered with her, shes 32, and she's now grooming her daughter to this behaviour by writing to my dad knowing it will hurt me. My dads a narcissist too, so he is playing the game to hurt me as well. She's been like this all her life and getting worse every day. I've finally walked away from her and sadly my granddaughter. I walked away from my dad years ago, their just toxic people.
Yup. My narcissist mother doesn't care about us. She says it and saod we were "perfect ". Obviously we aren't. But she'd say" MY children are PERFECT ". 🙄
The narcissist told me at the very beginning that he should’ve been an actor. I thought he meant, as a career?…it took many years for me to figure out that he was actually telling me, he is a fake and disingenuous, abusive, sadistic snake and I will NEVER let anyone treat me in such a nasty demonic way ever again.
Glad to see you back Andrew! I was so excited to go to my friends sons wedding. I got a beautiful dress and nails done. It was $125 a plate for each quest and in a beautiful hotel. I waited for him to come pick me up. Didn’t show, I left and went alone. He did not call or pick up when I called. Deval….
Another great video Andrew. They keep us in the cycle because we wrongly believe they don’t know what they’re doing. If he changes his behaviour eg he’s nice to me in front of others then nasty when they’re gone, he must know what he’s doing. Lightbulb moment. Their vile behaviour is intentional.
Of course they know what they’re doing one time my Narc told me(and it) knows it had to stop being an asshole, but no it but it acknowledged it surprise surprise
The Narcissists do know what they are doing. I made excuses for those types my whole life. Thought about it- They remind me of how easy it is for ordinary folks to get drunk on power and control, i.e., the Stanford Prison Experiment ( college students taking on roles as guards or prisoners for 2 weeks). The college students that were assigned guard positions became inhumane and abusive. The Narc would be worse, as they were in that role their whole lives. They can't change- Control and Power addicts and life long manipulators.
I got accused of being a narc simply because I'm into fitness and care about my looks. Truth is I've suffered at the hands of a narc, so intense I contemplated suicide. Encounter of abuse by narcs is no joke, I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemies.
Hi Andrew & Tribe ❤ This is the first time I have been able to talk about this stuff..it was all swept under the carpet..people did not want to get involved in “domestic abuse” they would say they all have their own marriage problems and just deal with it yourself..it’s a little more than that..they cannot understand what we are dealing with..neither could we…🤷♀️ Knowing what we know now changes you from being a trusting naive soft hearted person to a very proceed with caution type …building walls around yourself and not letting other people into your life..that’s the next step to deal with .. ❤from chilly 🏴 15:38
I understand your comment entirely I shared with a -loved one- my story -of what i had been dealing with ….. A really trusted family member She replied -after me pouring my heart out I have to go & start my day Needless to say I don’t trust anymore Unless you have FIRST HAND KNOWLEDGE of a narc you don’t know sad they are vipers Sorry *caps stuck
Excellent video Andrew!❤ I really needed to hear this! It's so important to see people for what they truely are than for what we wish they were, especially with narcisists.
"They look for people that have money, value...." , yeah, and the mark looks for a girl young enough to be his daughter and who tells him what he wants to hear....who is the narc here? When you befriend someone purely based on looks, what do you expect?
Yesterday the guy I'm renting a hall for my classes showed his real face. There's been couple of red flags, but I was just paying for the place and getting out. Yesterday he bursted. Good to know who I'm dealing with. Kick for finally putting my plan for own dance school in action!
Example of a teenage narcissist who knew what she was doing: Early last year, my sister was mysteriously praising me when she was visiting my Mom in her old age. She praised me for being a successful business woman. That confused me. I said to her that it was a lot of years of hard work. That wasn't the answer she wanted. She then said that she was so impressed about me going to college. That was in 1972. It was 2022. I stared at her thinking it was a strange thing to tell me. Guess that was not the answer she wanted. Then, she said, that when I was in college and she was still in high school, she pretended that she had a boyfriend in college. She convinced all of her close friends of that situation. I absolutely did not know anything to say. It shocked me to my core that she would tell me about lying to her childhood friends. I guess the experience was meant to love bomb me before her discard. She obviously knew what she had done to her close friends. I've been rethinking about experiences that helped to throw me into the fog of confusion. It only took me a year, in a lifetime, to accept that my sister knew what she was doing to me.
At least now I am fully awaken, although I don't trust people anymore and it's a waste in a way because I always had the tendency to help, listen, but not anymore. Andrew, if you could make a video in which you could tell your story with the narcissist individual (I quess it was your partner), I would really appreciate. Thank you for the courage of sharing and for the videos that will help so many! 🤗
I know exactly what they're doing they just don't want to admit what they're doing
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It would be a bit strange if they were that oblivious to their own behaviour...
Yes, the narcissist does know what they’re doing to you. It’s intentional evil behavior and it makes them feel good to make you feel bad. It’s really a hard thing to come to terms with and they don’t change. I’ve lived like this for 32 years and I’m done. I’m working on getting away physically but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I’ve already left him. ❤️🙏
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Yes I agree I physically and emotionally drifted away it was my safe space,and I was able to focus on planning to leave,I hope you are ok sending love and prayers your way 👉🙏🙏🙏👉💖💖💖
I still feel trauma bonded.I used to have great empathy for him and his childhood issues and his Narc" condition"..but after almost 22 years I feel disgust but still am not 100% healed.
@@CynthiaBielit takes time be kind and patient with yourself, self love and self care you deserve it,👉💖💖💖👉🙏🙏🙏🫂
@cynthiabiel7714 You know what? I used to have such compassion about my husband over his upbringing. But now I see that while his childhood was rougher than mine in certain ways, mine wasn't exactly much fun. We have made different choices about how to handle life going forward. I don't EVER want to make other people feel bad or treat them carelessly because I know how crappy it feels to be regarded thoughtlessly by people who are supposed to care about me. And he has decided it serves him to put even more of the same crap he got as a child out into the world. Shame on him, because he out to know better. ❤
They know exactly what they’re doing the evil scumbags.
They sure _do_ ! They play their game until they run into someone who proves to be their brick wall. When they get caught, they lie, deflect, manipulate, gaslight, or pretend they have no idea what you’re talking about 🙄🤦♀️
Great video Andrew, as ALWAYS! Hope you’re enjoying your Friday afternoon! Love ya!!!🙌☀️🤗❤️🤗😇☝️☝️😁👍👍🩷💜🩷💜
My friends, I hope you all are having a WONDERFUL Friday yourselves! Don’t let narcs fool you… they ARE EVIL!!! 🙌😇💯🎯☝️🩷💜🩷💜
Thank you for sharing 💯🙏😌
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone You’re welcome 🙏🙏🙏😌😉😇❤️🌹
❤️🙌🙏💯
These people proudly wave the "nothing set in stone" flag, along with, "always tell the truth" (rules for thee but not for me.) It took decades to learn truth. Thank you, Andrew, for sharing from your heart.
Welcome 💯🙏😌
Yes that's exactly true💯 and nothing to see here ,dismissing everything ,sweeping it under the mat,👉💖💖
Or 'god hates liars' - then proceed to lie.
@@badomaji You know it. Otherwise known as Righteous Narc.
Ice runs through the Narcs veins!
Narcissists know that they are lying. They know that they are cheating on you. Some of them take pride in their skill at being able to deceive and manipulate other people, in order to get what they want.
Absolutely, they know exactly what they're doing!
They pride themselves on being clever.
My ex sure thought he was smarter than everyone.
Mine did too!!! But somehow as Andrew mentions everything was always my fault and to keep the peace I was the one apologizing.
We are free now❤
💖😁@@irismartinez5753
They are fools - we found them out. They thought that they could play the same hand over and over and that we would keep taking it. Enough is enough and we deserve better. Thank God we have this community who understands and for Andrew who gets on here every day to help us move forward on the healing path. We are blessed! Have a good day. God bless 🙏
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Oh yes.....they are so impressed with themselves!
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PS..We need an App,so we'll see them coming,,Stay Safe Folks👉💖💖💖💖💖🙏🙏🌍
Perfect solution to the mess !
G-D bless you
Tamar🙏❤🌸
Exactly there always up to no good,,there isn't enough hours in the day for them scheming,,,they know what there doing,,and don't give a Hoot,,,Sending out love to all ,t.y.Andrew,👉💖💖💖🙏🙏
Welcome 😌💯🙏❤️
They stay up late scheming. 🙌🙏❤️
God help us to stay away from manipulating people! We deserve better and peace and love in our lives!🙏💜
Why did we allow evil to get so close to us? I wonder.
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@tracyjohnston5899 I think we neglected ourselves in the whole story.
@tracyjohnston5899 good old Bible.
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone God will ask you to do those things that are not pleasant to you. It's not all puppies and rainbows in life. It's not always all about enjoying. Life doesn't work like that.
What is interesting is that at times I knew they knew what they were doing. I just did not have the strength to do anything about it. When you get so beaten down it is really hard to summon the strength within yourself to do something. This another of those vid that only by breaking free from this shit, you get to see. So glad there is this tribe of folks to help an share with. Thank you all!! Especially Andrew for creating this channel!
Yes I agree! After all the constant mind games, you can barely recognise yourself anymore in the relationship. Constantly appeasing them and trying to keep things peaceful. They thrive in causing chaos and confusion and have no concern for anyone else. You go to all kinds of lengths for them and that extra mile, it's never enough. Tired and worn out. We are on the healing path now, with Andrews help, blessed to be where we are now getting the wisdom and education. Keep moving forward and God bless us all on our healing journey. Our future looks bright! 🙏
Yes they are a big distraction,,and I often found it difficult to focus on important things❤❤❤
Welcome 😌🙏💯
I was just having this conversation today. Sending good vibes😇
So true my friend, 5 years came out a better man but still hard ,stay strong 💪 😊
It's very interesting how God works through other people. I haven't watched a single video on this topic, ever. And I get this video and channel recommended 1 year after I break up with my ex gf of ~6-7 years who was a narcissist apparently, because she's described perfectly by you in your videos. At that time I only thought that she had some minor narcissistic traits because she loved taking pictures of her all the time, doing perfect make-up every single day, editing the pics to look perfect etc, but now I realize that her entire being and personality was completely rotten and narcissistic. She lied with every opportunity and cared only about herself. I hated myself for my choices and for staying in that relationship for so long, but now I'm glad it happened because I learned so many things about life and people and it will be infinitely times easier to dodge other girls like that in my future relationship. I wish you all the best and God bless you brother :)
Thank you for sharing this insight 😌🙏💯🙌
Narcissists can sell ice cubes to an eskimo! Very sneaky and convincing 😢
😌😌
Ps As we grow in numbers
#️⃣📶#️⃣ they just think they know what they are doing 😅
They definitely know what they are doing and they don't care how it affects the lives of their wife and children, or anyone else.
💯💯😌
They do know what they are doing....that "smirk" is a dead giveaway. Making plans means nothing to them. Stood up and left standing and waiting for them after making arrangements with them to go out, they get a better offer - no show and went off with others, no explanation. Manipulating mind games. Poor form and cruel behaviour. Thank you Andrew for another great video.....very empowering. 🙏
Welcome 💯🙏😌
The smirk is a dead giveaway 💯
@@gratefultobehere Yes it is! At least we don't have to deal with that one anymore!
They absolutely know what they do but act as if they don't. They are hypocrites. Great video Andrew, thanks again. ❤❤😊
🙌🙌🙌
@@gratefultobehere Hi Chelsea. I read your messages and loved them. Have a beautiful evening 🤗💖🙌
@@mariefrancebourget1749 you too Marie. It IS a beautiful evening. Love and peace to you 💞🙏💖
Nothing worse than making plans with a narcissist. You get used to them bailing whenever for whatever reason. Just don't do it.
That LOOK cracks me up every time Andrew lmbo😂😂😂😂. It's so true though...these narcissists are so caniving & honery!!... to say it NICELY! Mine was a covert narcissist for 21 long years! You have helped me SO MUCH Andrew...thank you and may God bless you my kind sir ☺️🕊️💜💪
Great video Andrew. Yes my ex narcissist knew exactly what he was doing, from the moment we met. He learned what to say to me to call for him. He knew that I really cared about him, so he used it against me. He knew I had a good job so he kept asking me for things more and more. He knew that if he yelled or got angry with me that I would forgive him. He knew that the things he was doing was hurting me and I was feeling very depressed and lonely. He knew all of that and didn't care not one bit. I'm happy that I'm free from that monster and I'm doing much better than ever. 18 Months no contact. Thank you Andrew and thank you everyone for your kind words. Stay strong everyone.
Congratulations Carlos!
@kathrynhogan3387yes, they do. They're terrifying, predatory parasites!
To move in and consume you with their Mimicry.
They definitely know what they’re doing and thankfully now WE know. Just took me awhile to agree it was so true and accept and not second guess. Great background 🌳 and you probably know, but you’re a lifeline to so many of us that really have struggled to grasp, understand, heal and let go of what has been so toxic. But we’re doing it. ❤🙏
Thank you for sharing 😌🙏❤️🌳🌲😊
Yes! I know exactly what you are talking about! After almost 10 years in a relationship, now I finally set myself free, and I did it by myself, no help or moral support from anyone (I probably attracted this individual because I have a similar type of narcissist in my family with whom the individual created connections without me knowing). I hope I will recover sooner than later, because this type of experience leaves you drained. And I must say that I have a very good radar for people, but this one I had me fooled, like you said, he was introduced to me by a person I trusted some how.
Thank you for sharing 💯🙏😌
Even professionals need quite a while to see who they're really dealing with. The rest of us don't stand a chance with those odds. ❤
Good for you. I'm 12.6 yrs out, and I still come back. 👍😍🌞💞🌺
@@jannlewandowski5540 🫣Oh, so sorry to hear that.
😊
Yes, you are Right On!! On All levels!
I was married to one in the 80's, 4 children, I felt like single parent, he was "traveling for work", I said I'm done, he tried the suicide game, which worked for him before we got married! But I didn't fall for it the 2nd time..
Then I went on to let another attach to me, for 20 years!! On and off! I thought I was "in Love"!
Wow! So thankful I woke up a year ago! After he wanted hook up at a hotel in a small town away from people that would know him!
I cried deeply and grieved after that June 2022 date.
No turning back! As much as he's tried a hoover! No Way!
Thank you Andrew for your messages!
@NARCDAILYYou AreNotAlone you NAILED it! 🏆🏆🏆💯💯
💯💯😌
Thank you so much for helping me get thru this toxic relationship
Welcome 😌🙏🙌
kitaris, baby steps did it for me. You'll be fine! 👍💕🌷
You know, love does not have to be hard.
If being lovinly seems hard, that should be a red flag.
I live by, get along or git along( down the road jack) .
If love does not come easy, it does not come. Lust is not love.
👍💯 i love what you wrote Archie. Right on point 🎯 have a great afternoon and evening 🤗🙌🙏
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Great video Andrew!
Not only do they know what they are doing, they spend countless hours planning it out.
Wishing everyone clarity and peace.
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Hi Andrew and tribe. We survivors need to absorb, integrate, and practice our newly gleaned information. Freedom rocks, and better late than never.❣️
Yes Andrew mine did. Also I'm always alone. Not by choice either. So I adapt and make do for now. Time and other things will help me change it. Have a blessed day.😊
Overcome and adapt!
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@@Haltestelle7Reborned easier said than done. I'm doing what I can for now.
@@temi-twistedzoneswishing you all the very BEST,,it was a waiting game for me,,but I planned my Exit sending lots of love and support,👉💖💖💖👉🙏🙏🙏🫂
@@Haltestelle7Rebornedthat's not very encouraging ,
On top of their calculative behaviour they are cowards, running off from unsuspecting supply to supply in an endless destructive cycle. They had a real chance with us to enjoy a joyful authentic life, friendship & love. Nope. The don't get it. We need to move on & leave them behind. Ty
Patient, stoic, calm, centered,focused,steady, stable AND PEACEFUL ❤
I just read through a lot of messages.. I was in the discard phase for 2 months. And I called her out so many times. I didn’t know what I should’ve done differently.. I didn’t know anything when I still had so much hope for the marriage. I didn’t know how much of an upper hand I could’ve had, but she KEPT MANIPULATING ME. Love bombing me, then throwing me down literally, biting me, then loving on me. Sending me that ONE I love you text out of 1,000,000,000,000. It was 7 years of just torturous hell. And I didn’t know any different. I vented to her about my father, what I was raised in, and she gave that abuse back to me tenfold. Trauma bond is real. For us, not the narcissist like she wanted to use against me. Call me the narcissist, but who’s with the new supply, divorce isnt, can’t even be final due to time out and state laws. I know my truth. Wishing everyone well. Thanks for another one Andrew.
Welcome 😌🙏🙌💯
It makes a BIG difference to finally have the words and the patterns defined about this kind of toxic personality. If I'd had the information earlier, I would have saved myself a lot of time and grief. Better late than never! I get to pull myself together and go on without being tormented anymore, and they get to go on repeating their same crap with the same hell in their head. Take care of yourself. ❤
@@cc1k435 I think everyone who found the info wishes for the knowledge earlier. I am one of those.
But I finally put that aside and am grateful. The lack of this wisdom may have meant entrapment till
my last days. Hallelujah Mama!!⚰🙄🙏
Spot on Andrew! Again, another excellent video. The narcissist is very, very good at faking normalcy. Once they know what makes you tick, they suck you in and entrap you. At this point, they've achieved their ultimate goal, CONTROL.
The key to getting out is to eliminate their supply/fuel. Sometimes, it requires slow depletion of fuel over a period of time. While in it, you can do this by yellow and/or gray rocking it.
Never let them know your plan until the last minute (or maybe not at all) and then make your move and run and get as far away from these toxic individuals as possible.
Andrew's education here on this channel teaches you and helps you do this and understand all the complex layers and behaviors of the narcissist.
Blessings & Best wishes to all here 🙏✨️💕
Thank you for sharing 🙏😌💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone you're welcome. Thank you for all you do!
Hey Donna, you are NEVER alone! 🙏🙏👍💕🌺💞
@@jannlewandowski5540 🎵
@jannlewandowski5540 Good evening, Jann! the music note was supposed to be a heart ♥️
I think my Narc Ex knows what he is doing but rationalizes the severity or the wrongness of his behaviors..........He believes he is a good person that harms no one.When he gives it is with a HUGE pricetag.....even a hug was a reward.
Thank you coach Andrew for the bonus 👀 Need the chuckle. It all resonates. Glad you mentioned fooling systems. Seen too much of that.
Welcome 😌🙏😊
One of the most poignant truths I have learned on this channel is I was never loved. I am so grateful I learned this, it answered so many questions as to why this or that happened. It changes everything knowing this was and is the truth, so much revelation. Thank you 🙏
My ex fiance never loved me either. 5 years! What a mess! I'm so better off! You will be fine. 👍🙏💕
Welcome 💯🙏😌
yes they definitely know what they are doing great video today 😘🫡
Thank you 😌🙏💯
They always knew it would be a good day ,when we trusted them, and believed in their Lies!
That is what makes them happy. {Devil's got your back Bro.]
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💚💫🙏 The narc bad habits are so ugly . So true just could never just be . Yes and grovel to apologise for somthing I never did to keep the peace all the hard work I put into keeping my head above water . I woke one morning and in my mind I heard . Iife isnt meant to be so hard that was the breaking point for me ❤🎉😊
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The narc learns how you react to every statement they make to you. Eventually they can get you to react in a certain way every time.
I just thought about this. My dad continuously disrespected me bc of the mother daughter relationship. He wasn't a drinker but was tipsy one night. I was a tween with a friend over for a sleepover. He mooned us and we were both disgusted. I'm sure she told her parents and not allowed to associated with me. After that she wouldnt speak to me. This was a long time ago when people didn't press charges. I reflected on whether his behaviour was driven by the disorder or if it was intentional.
@Harmonious-jm3sy Thank you. This memory was triggered by a recent dream.... and dreams seem to be sending messages recently to re-visit and deal with the old past. He was physically abusive but not secktual (purposeful misspelling for any monitoring flags). However, one of my brothers took up that familial disrespect. I'm sorry you went through that. I learned of my scapegoat role very early on and left. ... but met up another narcissist later. Thankfully, we can learn about these patterns thru such yt channels, etc.... I also had another dawning that my friend was probably also scared. She came from a family with a very gentle dad.
I have the worst kind of employment NARC following me...they are blocking me from any future career and have been following me to each job...starting trouble...no matter where I go.
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@travvisstreeter5058,,take good care of yourself,,I think it would be wise to seek advice and help on your situation,,,(it sounds like harassment/stalking behavior,,Stay well and Safe,👉🫂💖💖💖🙏
@@catherinefry49 the law is the law...u know what i mean...gov
Andrew… I’m an empath that got played to the core. It destroyed me toxic financial abuse triangulation. Picked myself up and doing well. The narcissist is still stalking me it’s crazy.
Hyper vigilance is not a lifestyle, and the silent treatment is not a retreat
But the silence gives you breathing space to wake up !
They do know what they're doing but it's up to you what they can get from you !!
Players that play only by THEIR DIRTY CHANGING RULES
That's why things may not make sense & cause you to
question all the confusion. Crazy making is all part of their
CONTROL! 🎀😘
💯😌🙏
It seems a possibility, when the N knows how all their relationships turn out, watching another person's dismay may be very intriguing to them. Seeing someone cringe and cry. Keeping them fooled with future faking and lies. It may as close as they get to ever get outside of their habituation to feelings they dont understand. Everybody is transactional targets. They think they are too... by you. It's really an addiction with the serial narc. New targets outside of the circle of past or current souring shituations is a must. It's the only prey where a fresh extraction can be performed semi-long term. Be glad to be out or working on it. It is the only way you really live again.
Right on! 👍
🎀😘
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I have a “ wrong number” texting.
Asking now who I am(!!!!?)
Blocked her
They knew, and we knew. What I mean is, they knew they didn’t care about the hurt they inflicted; we knew the love, forgiveness, kindness, thoughtfulness, and loyalty that we provided. We didn’t know that these people were ok with the abuse, and that it was abuse, but we know how much we gave to them, and that should be our focus now. ❤️❤️👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Hi Christopher! I finally made it today. How are you? 👍🌞
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@@jannlewandowski5540 I’ll tell ya, it’s been really hard. Dark night of the soul hard. But I’m passing it today. I’m seeing and giving in to my intuition with an intention to build my confidence to use it more than I ever had. It’s a growing process. Thank you for asking, it means so much I really really appreciate you. But how are you? Are you ok?❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Do they know they are evil 🤔?
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Happy 9 months no contact to me!! Pretty sure I’m safe at this point but I watch your video each day to stay on my toes💯
Don't look back. Well done.
Thanks for the message. I see this as being particularly helpful as both prevention and recovery of/from narcissistic abuse cycle survivors, including myself. They want us to be gaslit crazy, so exposure is crucial!
Welcome 😌🙏💯
Did anyone ever have one of them just pack up a house and leave ? Lack of empathy right there.
Good afternoon (Sat) Andrew and everyone. Absolutely they know what they are doing. They look for innocent empaths and take advantage of them. Their minds are way ahead of ours, and they search for the right buttons to push. We, the empaths, think they are CHARMING. That's what I thought. BE CAREFUL out there. My narc was handsome and a charmer. I had a great job, i was happy go lucky! Hah! Thats what they want. Also, they are GREEDY...BEWARE PAYING FOR DINNERS- ALWAYS. I just about got away, but i left him. GREAT TOPIC ANDREW..❤❤
Thank you 💯🙏🙌❤️
Thank you for being YOU.🌺💕
Absolutely! Yes sir!!!
The more I listen to you, the more I realize how viciously I had been fooled.
Thank God I am not there anymore. 🙏
He threw me out of the tent when I was pregnant because i was shifting around too much. We were out in the woods. I slept on the picnic table. Luckily my sister in law brought a plastic tablecloth that covered part of the table so I could wrap up in it.
Spot on yet again Andrew 😔 Namaste 🙏🏻 xx
Namaste 🙏😌🙌
On semi annual family (of origin) get togethers, my sister would always bring up something I did/said from the prior get together from 3-4 months ago. Made me feel shamed or shitty. I thought this was her OCD. I said once, if this bothered you, why didn't you call me after it happened? (I'd long forgotten.). We haven't spoken in almost 3 years. Since I came out of the FOG, I remember a lot now!! It's a shame because in her 20s, before she married the narcissist (like all of us did), she was kinder.
😌🙏💯🙌
They're often mixed up about the correct path to be on. 😊
Things happened that I didn’t share with other people. I barely let myself feel the trauma before I stuffed it. Now I’m feeling it. I haven’t been here for two years. I’m mad. I was crying I hate you you sob. Nobody does stuff like that. It was scary.
Oh the helicopters, no one would do that, you say oh yea, just google the subject, in face of facts the narssist will still argue their gaslighting b.s.
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The part about the narcissist moving out happened to me. He cleaned the house out while I was at work and then called me and said he had to do a business trip so could I pick the kids up. I came home to a note blaming me for the demise of the relationship demise scrawled on the back of a used envelope. What a coward!
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My ex tried to leave when I was at work, only because I told him an ex had done this to me before and it was very hurtful. He tried to trigger me again and cause more damage to my self esteem - but I came home earlier than expected, so I helped him pack.
They are pure evil - only evil people want to break / hurt people. They want to scar us for life
@@Tend-er-Rose Good on you for helping him pack. That sends a message.
They seem to know what they're doing, of course, and when enraged, they still seem to know, but are then feeling so compelled to do it that they don't get themselves in check. Not safe people to keep around that way. 😵
Right, that's why it is a personality disorder.....
There were two people I knew and myself. They came to the house to take everything of value and to break me down, so that I wouldn't be too much of a trouble for them. When they'd gone I stood in the hall frozen, holding arms round my body. In pain. I don't remember what I did after that. I was alone with no help. Dad had past away some weeks before. It's strange how you can talk yrself into believing everything is normal, after what happened.
But I know it's about surviving. And they who did this criminal act to me sure knew what they were doing. Thank you Andrew! /Annie❤
Welcome 💯🙏😌🙌
My daughter (36 yr old ) displays all narcissistic traits. I’ve read that ppl who become narcs do so because of abuse, stemming back to early childhood. This type of abuse includes over praising and putting them on a pedestal, or, of course, due to neglect in an abusive way. Therefore, is it always the parents fault?
How true my friend. But I feel a fool for this to happen 😢
We were all duped. It's not your fault. Remember that.
Does the nark know what they're doing? Does a pilot know how to land a plane? Hell yes!
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My daughter is a narcissist and she loves to hurt me. She will wait till im no longer talking to someone, at this stage its my dad, it has been my ex in the past. She then contacts them, forms friendships with them to hurt me, she has never had a relationship with my dad, my dad has never bothered with her, shes 32, and she's now grooming her daughter to this behaviour by writing to my dad knowing it will hurt me. My dads a narcissist too, so he is playing the game to hurt me as well. She's been like this all her life and getting worse every day. I've finally walked away from her and sadly my granddaughter. I walked away from my dad years ago, their just toxic people.
Thank you for sharing 😌🙏💯
I'm having a problem with a sibling and he's going to be OUT OF HERE....God bless you 🙏🙏💞🌺
They know but doesnt matter they dont control youre life
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Yup.
My narcissist mother doesn't care about us. She says it and saod we were "perfect ".
Obviously we aren't.
But she'd say" MY children are PERFECT ".
🙄
another comment love the plants andrew and thanks for smiling 😁
🌳😊🙌
The narcissist told me at the very beginning that he should’ve been an actor. I thought he meant, as a career?…it took many years for me to figure out that he was actually telling me, he is a fake and disingenuous, abusive, sadistic snake and I will NEVER let anyone treat me in such a nasty demonic way ever again.
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Glad to see you back Andrew! I was so excited to go to my friends sons wedding. I got a beautiful dress and nails done. It was $125 a plate for each quest and in a beautiful hotel. I waited for him to come pick me up. Didn’t show, I left and went alone. He did not call or pick up when I called. Deval….
This is EXCATLY what I'm going through. This needs 5 million views
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They are predators.
Wolf's in sheep's clothing.
THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A MINUTE. This is what it comes down to: 14:37
🤔🤔💯
❤🙌
Another great video Andrew.
They keep us in the cycle because we wrongly believe they don’t know what they’re doing. If he changes his behaviour eg he’s nice to me in front of others then nasty when they’re gone, he must know what he’s doing. Lightbulb moment. Their vile behaviour is intentional.
Another great video, Andrew. i do recommend you do a video about their addiction to their cell phones. keep those videos coming, they are important.
Of course they know what they’re doing one time my Narc told me(and it) knows it had to stop being an asshole, but no it but it acknowledged it surprise surprise
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Yes, the always postpone important events, arrive late, create drama to go attend to other supplies.
The Narcissists do know what they are doing. I made excuses for those types my whole life. Thought about it- They remind me of how easy it is for ordinary folks to get drunk on power and control, i.e., the Stanford Prison Experiment ( college students taking on roles as guards or prisoners for 2 weeks). The college students that were assigned guard positions became inhumane and abusive. The Narc would be worse, as they were in that role their whole lives. They can't change- Control and Power addicts and life long manipulators.
I got accused of being a narc simply because I'm into fitness and care about my looks. Truth is I've suffered at the hands of a narc, so intense I contemplated suicide. Encounter of abuse by narcs is no joke, I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemies.
You're not a narc. Don't listen to anyone who says that. 👍🌺💕
This is the hardest reality to swallow. I was with mine for almost 30 years. To know that he did this and was calculating is downright horrifying.
Hi Andrew & Tribe ❤
This is the first time I have been able to talk about this stuff..it was all swept under the carpet..people did not want to get involved in “domestic abuse” they would say they all have their own marriage problems and just deal with it yourself..it’s a little more than that..they cannot understand what we are dealing with..neither could we…🤷♀️
Knowing what we know now changes you from being a trusting naive soft hearted person to a very proceed with caution type …building walls around yourself and not letting other people into your life..that’s the next step to deal with ..
❤from chilly 🏴 15:38
Thank you for sharing 💯🙏🙌
I understand your comment entirely
I shared with a -loved one- my story -of what i had been dealing with …..
A really trusted family member
She replied -after me pouring my heart out
I have to go & start my day
Needless to say I don’t trust anymore
Unless you have FIRST HAND KNOWLEDGE of a narc you don’t know sad they are vipers
Sorry *caps stuck
@@jayjo77144
At least we can come here and get some understanding and support.
Sending you love and light 🌷🙏
Ok...got it.....brb...😂
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Excellent video Andrew!❤
I really needed to hear this!
It's so important to see people for what they truely are than for what we wish they were, especially with narcisists.
Keep coming back. It gets better! 🌺💕👍
"They look for people that have money, value...." , yeah, and the mark looks for a girl young enough to be his daughter and who tells him what he wants to hear....who is the narc here? When you befriend someone purely based on looks, what do you expect?
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They sure do and they enjoy every second of it.
My future narc ex-wife told me dating online was beneath her and also for desperate people
They will be ashamed at what they done😏
❤ to all of us fighting this everyday.
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100 true all of that I witnessed , you hit the right points ,
I had no choice, but go no contact.
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Terrible😮 but true
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Yesterday the guy I'm renting a hall for my classes showed his real face. There's been couple of red flags, but I was just paying for the place and getting out. Yesterday he bursted. Good to know who I'm dealing with. Kick for finally putting my plan for own dance school in action!
Example of a teenage narcissist who knew what she was doing: Early last year, my sister was mysteriously praising me when she was visiting my Mom in her old age. She praised me for being a successful business woman. That confused me. I said to her that it was a lot of years of hard work. That wasn't the answer she wanted. She then said that she was so impressed about me going to college. That was in 1972. It was 2022. I stared at her thinking it was a strange thing to tell me. Guess that was not the answer she wanted. Then, she said, that when I was in college and she was still in high school, she pretended that she had a boyfriend in college. She convinced all of her close friends of that situation. I absolutely did not know anything to say. It shocked me to my core that she would tell me about lying to her childhood friends. I guess the experience was meant to love bomb me before her discard. She obviously knew what she had done to her close friends. I've been rethinking about experiences that helped to throw me into the fog of confusion. It only took me a year, in a lifetime, to accept that my sister knew what she was doing to me.
At least now I am fully awaken, although I don't trust people anymore and it's a waste in a way because I always had the tendency to help, listen, but not anymore. Andrew, if you could make a video in which you could tell your story with the narcissist individual (I quess it was your partner), I would really appreciate. Thank you for the courage of sharing and for the videos that will help so many! 🤗