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Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019 Action / Adventure / Fantasy Disappointment), starring Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill and directed by J.J. Abrams as reviewed by Charlie and Jackson.
The Moist Meter is an experimental measurement system that you can use to safely gauge just how moist a video game or movie is going to be before playing it or viewing it. Avoid the dry products and only use the wettest.
Moist Meter Scientists:
Jackson: / zealotonpc
Charlie: / moistcr1tikal
Contact: admin@theofficialfour.com
Intro Voice: goo.gl/y5YRWY
I know its a meme but the potential of a sith jar jar has now been wasted
Has anyone told you about the missed opportunity of Darth Darth Binks?
Meesa the sith lord!
@@InfernoScorpion14 it's not a story Kathleen Kennedy would tell
Personally, I subscribe to the theory that he's a chaotic but good-intentioned Force user.
Maybe in episodes 10, 11 and 12
i like how they just gave up on Finn and had him do nothing the whole movie
and will we ever know what he wanted to say to Rey? Nope, just a dead end line.
Josh yup
Josh JJ Abrahams said he wouldve said he was force sensitive, pretty obvious to notice ngl
@@joeysmokes9839 Pretty obvious? I feel like 90% of people would assume he was going to say something along the lines of "I love you"
Sergio R. Well he later goes onto to telling the pilot he had a ‘feeling’ when she asked how he knew where the pylon was. If you watched any star wars movie youd know he was talking about the force.
That palpatine sith lightening blast blew out some speakers in the theatre I was in
It blew out my hearing because I was in Imax
Bre XP I was watching in LieMax.
Bring ear-muffs to the theatre? Got it.
"The audience is now deaf"
you will pay the price for your lack of hearing
The new trilogy feels like an essay you wrote the night before it’s due
couldn't have said it better
Nah, they’re writing it after the due date
Their moms writing it for them because they don't know what creativety even is.
Agreed, though I do feel like The Last Jedi was at least written overnight by somebody who had studied enough to get a solid B on a pop quiz, and maybe even had part of a rough draft in their head, whereas Rise Of Skywalker is the dude who was feverishly clicking back and forth between wikipedia tabs as they typed and at one point accidentally called Stormtroopers Space Marines because they only read two chapters and spent most of their time in class retweeting cat pictures.
More like a short stiry
The Dry Side of the Moist is the pathway to abilities some would consider to be unnatural.
Bravo sir
Not from a jedi
Have you heard the tale of Darth Crtiticalus
It’s not a story the Moists would tell
Yea but the wet side has vaginas!
Can't wait for Disney to drag Vader's corpse back on stage when all else fails
"Hey guys its me vader i turned back to the dark side because disney ran out of ideas for villains hope thats cool with you"
I honestly fucking hate what they did to Anakin/Vader in this trilogy, just disrespectful, they completey shit on him and his story at the expense of what? Poor planning, a carbon copy of ANH, really bad 2nd and 3rd movies, terribly written characters which don’t get developed. Not only did they ruin a character, they did it in the worst way possible. Nothing in this trilogy adds anything good to the OT or PT, it just makes everything worse overall. Now that we know palpatine didn’t die, how do we know that he didn’t make some other clone to transport himself to?
@Doodle Flop this would be possible if it weren't Disney.
with Kathleen Kennedy cartoonishly puppeteering him while clearly talking out of the corner of her mouth
They already kinda did that with rogue one
I actually clapped in the theater when Rey said “the force is female” before punching palpatine in the nuts with the infinity gauntlet
Yeah and when she brought up the other lightsaber and it made an x shape and Rey said “x gon give it to ya”
And then the whole theater stood up and cheered and clapped
@@jakeguy6050 It's true I was row 5 seat 13
Darkfenerata 101 can confirm he was there I was at row 4 seat 11
jake guy can confirm I was in the middle row I bought all the seats to myself
The best part of the movie at the very end, when the old lady in the desert asked Rey for her name. I cried with emotion as she confidently exclaimed: "Rey Starwars" and she started flying through the sky as Katy Perry's firework began blasting in the background.
damn. I felt that too
You had me in the first half, and then I burst out laughing.
It was the meme flute version too. I actually clapped when that happened . And stood up. I was in row 7 seat 10
That was my favorite scene
This reads like a green text 😂
Please do a spoiler talk on this movie. Emphasizing your full detailed thoughts would do this subject more justice.
if you watched it you'd get what he's talking about
Mapueix I honestly don’t know what he meant about Rey
@@thef1dude501 yeah I'm wondering what the specific force power he referred to was
@@thef1dude501 I know Kylo being able to basically trade lives with Rey is kinda broken but I can't think of what Rey did that really breaks all of Star Wars
Yes please do Charlie
I wouldve preferred a Darth Binks over palpatine resurrected out of the blue
brainDOA he wasn’t resurrected he was cloned
@@_Ebare1347 Imagine trying to justify a corporate studio decision to do damage control for TLJ as actual lore that matters.
@@OilFreeFeathers in legends he actually is able to transfer his consciousness to clones, but this is Disney cannon, they just shoot themselves in the foot every chance they get lmao
@@_Ebare1347 why would he put his conciousness in a literal rotting corpse? He had snoke clones, so obviously he could've just given himself a good body that wasn't dead.
brainDOA I literally laughed out loud at this 😂😂
Make a video with spoilers
Yes
@@deepfriedewoks7657 agree
@@regularskeleton1752 yup
What power was he talking about? I’ve seen the movie
yes
I was expecting Anakins force ghost honestly. Considering the title of the movie
Apparently JJ wanted that to happen, but Kathleen Kennedy cut it out for more Rey scenes.
@@chrispy3369 Ah yes,KK one of the biggest hypocrites in entertainment history.
@@chrispy3369 let me guess, that's women empowerment?
@@chrispy3369 aint. no. fucking. way.
"Remember, kids, if it makes money, it doesn't have to be good." - Mark Hamill
I'm glad the actors, from these failing franchises, are like na this shit sucks, dueces
Man you guys are some Whiney shits
ComradeKahn316 ikr, I’m so happy that Disney and June abrams finally put the mega Star Wars fans first and made a film that is just a huge send off and fan service, I don’t care if it’s messy, nobody did, because that’s Star Wars. It’s never been a clean cut film franchise, it’s always had problems, and I’m not backing up Ryan Johnson here but it’s always had bad critic ratings, because all they do is try and fact check them, because according to amateur viewers if it’s never been seen it’s bad and doesn’t make sense. Like the warp jumping that Poe did at the start, it’s never been seen before because it’s probably something he did while he was a spice runner, c3po not being able to convert either text into speech, a programme that I can guarantee was installed later by the senate when anikan became a Jedi. I loved every minute, and the thing that hurts is that so many channels are just shitting on it, and it becomes less of an opinion and more of a Whiney bitch who’s watched too many films and critics everything like it’s a war film. Star Wars theory has done the best and quite frankly only review of it, these are rants, AND 40%, I wouldn’t even give the holiday special that.
BRADDS FX Jesus Christ stfu yeah i’m sure all the mega fans loved all the ass pulls of jedi’s, force powers, snoke, palpatin, rey, mini FUCKING DEATH STARS making the past movies irrelevant. Just stfu and admit it was fucking ass
@@comradekahn3163 by that logic you're gonna call all the actors whiney shits for justifiably not liking something that sucks so bad, not even abrams himself had any faith in it
Imagine after the credits are over the screen goes black, then a red lightsaber lights up
"Fine, meesa do it myself"
This is an amazingly underrated comment
That is an amazingly underrated profile picture
my dick would get so hard it that the government would issue a national warning incase it explodes and kills everyone by its shear mass
He’s too powerful to be kept alive!
Darth Jar Jar would've been amazing
"This is the GOT Season 8 of Star Wars."
Oh...oh no. He's 100% right.
I don't think it's as bad. Got season 8 is like a whole new level.
Enthusiastic Aizawa Yeah Cuz Angry Joe is always right 😂
I think this is FAR worse than Game of Thrones season 8. Game of Thrones season 8 at least had thought put behind it, but this is written like an 8 year old was playing with some toys. They’d have a better story using some 13 year old’s fan fiction.
Tbh this whole trilogy has been that way
GOT season 8 had terrible build up to a conclusion that would have been good otherwise. This conclusion was just bad regardless of how you do it.
My favorite line in the entire movie,
"SOMEHOW, Palpatine returned"
11/10 script writing
This line haunts me to this day
That's definitely up there with "I hate sand, it's course and rough and irritating and it's gets everywhere" and "believe me I wish i could just wish my feelings away"
@@Inebriated_Goat those lines come nowhere close to that really.
I don’t see how this line is so bad, he had indeed returned somehow.
The thing I admired the most about this movie was that it managed to piss off both Reylo shippers and Reylo haters in the same scene
@Jimb0 The force awakens is still enjoyable, Ep 9 is still a crock o shit
@@chagis100 I have no idea how you manage to still enjoy TFA but more power to you I don't have the strength of will to do that anymore.
Lunk i still enjoy it. Definitely not the best but better than the absolute GARBAGE that was 8 and 9. I do hate that tfa is like a copy paste of ep 4 but it is fun
@@pixellego4773 i mean... TFA is still a bit watchable unlike Ep9
@@pixellego4773 TFA deserves more shit than it gets. I was hating on it before TLA, and I can say for certain that many of the overall problems with the ST were there from the get go. TFA still ignores lore, regresses characters, and is completely unoriginal and hollow, only pandering to nostalgia. The only reason people still like it is nostalgia. It has no other qualities.
We need another moist meter with spoilers.
Seppu Sesu true, im curious as to wat he is referring to
Seppu Sesu i saw the movie and I don’t remember what he’s talking abt lol
Lane Kamphausen me neither I’m rlly wondering🤣
@@Reaper4556lwd I'm not super Star Wars smart but I've heard enough to make a guess that he's referring to Rey's new force-resurrection powers ruining the fact that Anakin's inability to save Padme with those dark side Sith powers made him an unhappy fella and subsequently kicked off the whole Star Wars thing. Pretty sure he was alluding to something like that.
@@lindsfreey9080 Ah, that really doesn't make any sense
The best part of the movie was when Windu said: Now this is truly a Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
@High Definition his voice is in it still a waste of good story characters
loik117
Ohhh so that’s why it’s called that
I read this in Dunkey's voice.
@@notTheXDer You read it correctly :P
What are we some kind of star wars: the rise of skywalker?
vader: kills palpatine in ep 6
palpatine: comes back in tros
Anakin: after 11 years of jedi traning and joining the dark side to heal his wife, his wife dies anyway
rey: only been traning for a year yet literally can heal wounds.
I remember george lucas said star wars is only anakin's story. the prequels are his turn to the dark side. the ot is his redemption. The sequels are..... i don't know.
I thought he trained freaking 15 years.
@Magic Cookies I think that was what they were going for in TFA, with Vader's mask and Kylo Ren, but that's it.
@@VibingMeike and then there was the Last Jedi and idek what the goal of that movie was. Disney just said fuck it we need money
@@bobevans4977 Yup and then there was The Rise of Skywalker... Where all the Skywalkers are dead and a Palpatine stole their family name. And Anakin got like 2 lines or something and he didn't show up.
Hey turns out I looked it up and rey only trained for like 5 days wtf
Palpatine looked like he was hooked up to GLADOS
The death star was a lie
*hooked up WITH GLADOS and out came unremarkables who further spawned the child that will steal the Skywalker lineage.
GLaDOS
PaLPaTINE
Just finished portal I finally understand this comment
"Including the games that matter, the LEGO ones"
Ah, a man of culture I see
@JOHN JOHN stfu nerd fucking Virgin stop pissing Ur pants over a joke.
JOHN JOHN ok
@JOHN JOHN bro, calm down, we're all chill here
E Yarde hello there
The lego games are pretty good though actually
THEY GOT RID OF THE OLD REPUBLIC AND LEGENDS FOR THIS.
Don’t FUCKING remind me
Let your hatred empower you. The dark side calls to the ambitious
@@supercellodude I'll fucking let it consume me.
@@tavogerard9691 the start of the movie mentions a fortnight event which means fortnight is more cannon then the extended universe
Technically they made Revan canon again. One of the knights of ren was named after a sith lord and his name was Revan.
I lost it in theaters when Ben Solo looked directly at the camera and said “We’re gonna need a bigger boat”
Underrated comment
You’re gonna need a bigger boat*
@@RealTalkAlexV no.
for those who have seen the movie and are confused what he’s talking about:
he’s talking about Rey and Kylo being able to heal each other. the entire plot of “Star Wars” as a whole comes from Anakin’s hatred and pain he feels after losing Padmé because there was nothing he could do. the fact that Anakin had trained practically all his life with the best Jedi in history and he couldn’t even do what some random girl with like a few months of training could is laughable and outright stupid.
Avery Kellogg Rey isn’t really a random girl. She’s the granddaughter of palpatine trained by Luke Skywalker
Fortnut Luke never trained her.
@@jon.... did you watch TLJ?
@@nether235 yes
Luke doesn't train her.
At all.
He asks her to cut a few rocks, and that's it.
When she starts showing her power to Luke, he just wusses out saying "This power didn't scare me enough then, but it does now."
And then we never see another scene of training ever again for the rest of the movie.
Luke training with Yoda was a massive part of The Empire Strikes Back, and took up a ton of screen time.
And Luke trained with Yoda for days on end.
Rey only trained for a couple of hours, so to say "oH bUt ShE dID TrAIn" is just plain ignorant.
Her "Training" meant absolutely nothing, and no amount of blood relations to a sith who should be dead will change that.
I think anakin could heal an injury but not bring someone back from the dead which is what he was looking for since in his visions padme dies. You can't heal a dead person when they are already dead lol. Kylo ren was the one with the power to bring back the dead which I think makes sense since he was trained by palpatine through snoke and used the dark side way more than anakin did before he turned into darth vader. I personally think darth vader could bring the dead back to life in episode 4-6.
I don’t think anyone can deny how essential John Williams music is to this ENTIRE saga. I mean without it I don’t think Star Wars would be as iconic as it is, especially after the original trilogy.
Unfortunately, his music's not as great as it was. It's still fantastic, but it's gotten weaker.
Forming like Voltron, JW is the magnum dong.
I feel like they reuse and remix too much of the prequels and OT music, for the sequel to be its own thing musicaly
Literally the only thing g that got me through the shit scenes
Fucking true
By giving Rey the powers and characteristics of other Jedi, it not only makes her not unique, it makes all the other Jedi in the universe not unique.
I know I heard this from somewhere else and some will get on my case for this, but Rey is what you get when you start a new run of an RPG, but you’ve save-edited the game to maximize your stats and skills.
I’m glad she acts like every other Jedi since her birthright is to act menacing (same with Kylo but other way around) and plus, Rey is the LAST Jedi, so we should have a t least one character that actually acts like one and IS one
@@kayarenaker2454 that's not what I meant. Obi wan is the only person to mind trick, she never met obi wan so how does she know about it.
yup i hate it when force sensitive characters randomly learn how to do advanced force techniques that take years to master with no training on how to do them. This is a problem that not only rey has but baby yoda as well.
Jacob Thompson ah Baby Yoda is 50 years old.
I'm watching this trying to remember what happened in the movie, and I seriously cannot remember a single plotline in the whole film.
It's over the place, Vader literally killed Palpatine and he's back. Like tf??
Somehow palpatine returned
The only things I remembered after getting out of the theater where that palpating somehow retured, and the existence of that stupid Death Star and evil dagger plot hole
It feels like JJ crammed his episode 8 and 9 into 2 hours
VVerTTeXX you summed it up well. I did like this episode over 7 and 8, but the pacing, especially in the beginning is bad, and palpatine felt way off. I said it to my mates afterwards, it seems like JJ planned palpatine to come back from ep 7, but Ryan got his say in the story, and JJ was that contempt on his master plan, palpatine was just extremely rushed. Like kylo saying your parents were nothing only seemed like a tie-in to Ryan’s movie, and then kylo goes into the beefy part of Rey’s story. All fanboys knew she had to be a palpatine or a skywalker, only way it made sense. (Palpatine made anakin, but that was cut from the script in episode 3).
Good, it should’ve been his trilogy. Rian Johnson screwed Star Wars. He had to jam it in
@@danielgigs Very much so! The pacing was the worst part of the movie. If you would have split this movie into two, giving each character and event the time for a build up and backstory I feel it could have been very good indeed.
Emperor palpatines very strange introduction and lack of explanation really hurt the movie. Ben Solo just suddenly running into him in the cave thing was rather undramatic for the return of the Emperor.
The saying "Too many chefs in the kitchen" comes to mind regarding JJs and Johnsons conflicting paths in the trilogy.
@@TheManlol12 Agreed. What JJ had in mind wasn't perfect but rian Johnson fucked everything up
@@idipped2521 Who knows, if Johnson hade made all three, it might have turned out fine. The biggest apparent problem is that we got two different and conflicting visions who both amounted to nothing :(
Got to love that Anakin couldn't heal the love of his life, despite being the chosen one.
Rey could heal a snake because she felt bad for it.
Ethan Z exactly
I believe it’s because healing was a light side power and by then Anakin had already turned to the dark side. And as to how Rey learned it could be explained by the ancient Jedi texts she had been reading.
j Monroy You don’t just instantly master a Jedi power by reading about it
@@julianmonroy8899 bringing things back to life was always a dark side power, and that doesn't;t explain at all how Rey can just do it. she had almost no training at all for anything to begin with
@@noodlepancak783 The first scene in TROS with Rey features her training with the force, under Leia's guidance. On that note, you can tell time has passed between then and TLJ, when she had read the ancient texts, literally just by examining the appearance of the characters. Does the film really need a training montage to prove to you that she didn't just think her powers into existence?
Adam Driver is 36 years old, playing a character that's 29 years old, that looks like a 22 year old, that acts like a 15 year old.
He’s evolving, just... backwards
I honestly think Adam did a good job playing as Kylo, imo he was the only one with a sensible arc story but them those mofos decided to kill him for whatever reason
@@momokat4082 I only watched The Force Awakens, but seen him in BlacKkKlansman and he did a really good job in both of these movies. Btw, BKKK, neat movie.
@@momokat4082 Yeah, I initially disliked Kylo's character because he was literally nothing more than a whining man-child Vader wannabe, but to even make me feel that much goes to show how good of an actor Adam was (somewhat similar to how much I hated Cersei due to Lena's beautiful performance). Took me a while to realize that's exactly how Ben Solo was meant to be portrayed, but honestly, if characters like him, Fin, and Phasma got more screen-time (and the story focused VERY little on how OP Rey SkYwAlKeR was) then the sequels might not have been that bad.
@@6ixlxrd My problem with this new trilogy is how big of a mess it is... If they focused more on Finn, Poe, Phasma, and other side characters stories I'd certainly make the movies far more likeble.
Rey should still be that one character that came from nothing, not a spawn of the devil trying not to be consumed by her grandpa's wishes, we already have Kylo, who's supposed to be the same...
Maybe a series, like the Mandalorian would make more justice to tell the story, but now's too late 🤷
considering how damaging this last film was to Star Wars as a whole, a 40% is far too generous for this pile of dogshit. Morbius told a more coherent story then Episode 9.
but morbius is one morbillion% on rotten tomatoes and it is the best morbius movie ever made. You can't deny these facts
@@universallyepicnarwhal9102 Only movie to make a Morbillion bucks
My friends I am Morbius's strongest soldier. I would never deny the genius and craft of Morbius.
Honestly would rather watch that then the sequel trilogy again lol.
I hate how true this comment thread is.
No cap morbius was far better than this crap lmfao
spoiler review pls
chetto bandito no
Ethan Ligma yes
Ethan Ligma just dont watch it bitch
chetto bandito lol calling someone a bitch over they keyboard makes you one my good sir have a nice day
chetto bandito hey we don’t have to be so aggressive
Not surprised he’s a fan of Adam Driver. The man looks like an alternate version of him that works at Hot Topic
. . . yeah
If Charlie was tall and muscular.
Literally don't know anyone who dislikes Adam Driver.
Adam Driver is a cool dude, his acting is great. It's Kylo and all the other characters that are screwed up by game of thrones season 8 level of writing.
finn could’ve been an amazing character with an incredible arc if he wasn’t just a random black dude who keeps on screaming “REY” and not tell Rey his secret
DJ6eyes finn knew the obama's last name so he wanted to tell it to someone who he trust but the *[REDACTED]* always watched him so he didn't had the chance to tell her
Ich bin Türkisch it’s care
spiderduckpig the fbi wants to know your location
Would've even Been better if they kept phasma alive for a final fight to kill her off. Nope, they killed her in last Jedi cause they didn't know what to do next. Hiring Rian Johnson was like Ricky Gervais in last golden globes: fuck everything before you leave
He and Poe should’ve been gay. It would’ve been so much better than the two random girls the writers threw in with literally no other purpose than to kill fanfics of their potential gayness
can we also not forget that there was no huge lightsaber showdown at the end, and palps basically commits suicide
There was a lightsaber battle with Rey and Kylo Ren, I forgot where in the movie. But it was sooooo slow and clunky, it was terrible.
I feel like the best lightsaber fighting comes from the prequels and the Clone Wars.
Palps had years and years to prepare for taking over the world, having the power to literally lift thousands of death destroyers from under ice, and then striking every ship in the sky with lightning. But apparently he did not know that two lightsabers can beat his god powers
@@sanjeevan9831 Agreed.
"Me'sa the True SIth Master" would have made more sense. And Disney ruining a franchise they didnt create should surprise no one.
Michael S stfu nerd
Where tf could the story go? Picking up after the events of the original trilogy was always gonna be a bad idea and it should've been obvious they were trying to cash in on nostalgia, not actually make good films for the fans
My comment disappeared wtf
Is it just for me or did TH-cam just straight up censored me???
@@johnriley4425 Endless directions or maybe just the smart direction and follow the SWEU which has been around for decades. Hell they even had to borrow from it to make some of the characters.
this movie did not make me moist
Surprise, surprise, surprise. Lol
Gasps
Made me drier than the Sahara
It's dry af
It made me dryer than my wife's turkey
40%? From the way you’re making it sound, I thought it would be 10%
As an action movie it wasn't bad, but it was a terrible star wars movie if that makes sense.
It's awful in comparison to how good it could and should have been. Like he said the music and acting are good and there is still a few good visuals and stuff.
Bruh 40% is an F-
The 40 percent comes from talented actors and everybody involved in the technical aspects of the film, 60 percent is taken off from the narrative elements
damn well should be 10%
Woman: “What’s your name, kid?”
Rey: “Rey”
Woman: “Rey who?”
Rey: “Reycedes Benz”
was that an actual line?
@Able Bodied No
Laughed.... so harddddd
@@ablebodied175 If that was the line it would've won the Oscar.
RALSEE SHOW ME YOUR CAR
We still never learned what Finn was going to say
JJ Mystery Box even right at the very end!!
It’s kind of obvious he was going to tell her who her parents (and grandparents) are
@@chasekurtz9052 Oh yeah of course! 'cos apparently everyone but Rey already knew anyway 😒
BaileyZKerr Finn, Leia, and Luke did
the director confirmed that finn was going to tell rey he is force sensitive
Vader spent years trying to heal his body with the force but never could
But rey just comes in, pops a squad and does it
She had old Jedi council books that could have years of knowledge about the force. Many basic Jedi in old republic knew about force heal.
@@k1ngof1self yeah I know
But giving her a book and saying she just can do it now dosnt justifie it
It takes years to master the force especially something like healing
@@natto4now She's like a fanfiction self insert
M'asuda the Liar she took the books before the tree burned.
shelby MD I mean her being a you know what justifies it. But I mean if jj was able to show that if he made last jedi it make more sense. But I agree the training should’ve shown her strength in the force
You know a movie is bad when the sponsor guy says so
Yeah Jackson could probably do a good star wars
@Sightless_Seeker Jackson shall now be known as sponsor man
@Juan Cortez Muro stfu Juan
remember when the "chosen one" actually meant only one person and that he fulfilled the entire prophecy when he threw that old man off the rails and brought balance to the force? yeah well that's all made pointless now
So dry.
Almost as dry as the Atacama desert.
Might I suggest Lincoln logs and construction paper, in at least 6 colors.
Almost as dry as a salt planet
Drier than my balls after I see a woman. What? I didn’t say that...
Keep in mind the guy who wrote batman v superman wrote this...
He also did justice league too. The worst screenwriting resume in history
How does he keep getting huge jobs?
@@KMExceeder Hollywood is completely disconnected from the rest of the world, that's how. Been like this for years and years.
OpiumUnparalleled this is the correct answer
@@duffman473k yes, because ethnicity determines whether you're a good writer or not
This movie was soooooooo bad I'm genuinely shocked Charlie gave it even a 40% that's far too generous
I expected a 10% honestly
Can we talk about how there was a whole B plot with Finn who has something he wants to tell Rey then proceeds to forget I guess. Plus he’s in a relationship with the Asian chick that they also forget about
He probably knew she was a palpatine and no one likes rose
YodaIAm69 How did he know?
@@popopop984 I believe JJ maybe confirmed that Finn was going to tell Rey he is force sensitive.
zane douglas JJ Abrahams said he wouldve said he was force sensitive, pretty obvious to notice ngl
@@joeysmokes9839 yeah, i also got it.
The star wars movies are a rhyme and poetry. Rey as a Palpatine should have fallen like Anakin fell as a Skywalker. Kylo should have risen up as a Skywalker like Palpatine did as a Sith in Episode 3.
Rey should have been the Villain, her impulsive and reckless use of the force and uncontrolled emotion was really clear in the last movies. There was meat in that story and possible arc for Rey.
You should have written episode 9 instead lmao
That actually seems cool
Carlos Leon
You’re assuming a lot, by suggesting The Mouse would ever take a move as risky as having a main character become evil.
Wamen aren't allowed to be bad tho
A redemption arc for Kylo Ren would also be awesome
Hentais have better plot than this movie.
Dre S sad thing is it’s actually true.
hentais have better plots than most movies.
Both leave you feeling soulless at the end but one is at least enjoyable
I remember this one hentai where goddesses were fucking eachother to get crystals from their wombs, it was a great story.
Venus Blood: Brave has a better plot
Adam Driver is such a phenomenal actor. Even on SNL he was one of the very few actors I've seen to actually memorize his lines and not just read of cue cards.
He is outstanding in everything he does
@@kristen_p27 what movie was that where he said the n word?
@@qui-gonjinn8350 blackkklansmen I'm guessing
@@qui-gonjinn8350yo it’s qui gon
@@scitime4866Indeed it is friendly passerby, what brings you here?
*Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a Nuclear Winter*
Didn't expect a member of the NCR to be here
😠 Ave. Hail Caesar.
Degenerates like you belong on the cross.
Hopefully not like the 76s
NCR Trooper I’m literally playing new Vegas right now
Should have gotten Favreau.
I agree. His work on The Mandalorian really shows that he was MUCH more qualified to be the lead director for the recent trilogy.
@@x7N1NJ47x im glad this series is over...Favreau should get the next one
@@barkseagull1453 IF there is another
Trigit there will be another one, the series is a cash cow
Favreau is overseeing about eight movies at this point
I don’t know how much more he can handle
When even the sponsor tells you the movie is bad.
There’s a good thing. The ending. Oh not how the movie ended, just that it ended.
The ending was fucking perfect
You kinda look like if Kylo Ren drank too much of the alien juice Luke drank in the last Jedi.
The green milk?
kylo looks like a jew, critikal doesnt
Green juice... it is supppoose to be a nod at blue milk but even that was cringe lol
I thought that the green juice he was talking about was baby yoda blended
It really is sad that Jar Jar was not the big bad here, imagine the memes.
That would have actually been coherent with canon, seeing as Lucas originally was going to take that path
Exactly,so much wasted potential!!! 🧐SMH🤦🏻♂️
And now wit both da jedi and da sith in ruinen, me can starten planen to rulen da galaxy
Darth Binks would have owned
Funny enough George Lucas had created Jar Jar with him being the big baddie in future movies
Whenever asked directly he never denies it, says Jar Jar is his favorite character, and the actor that plays Jar Jar admitted that was the original plan for Jar Jar
I'd have forgiven this new trilogy as a meme if Jar Jar was behind it all
606hunter1 He still could be, you never know
"Long meesa waited...."
Jar Jar is behind it all...Jar Jar Abrams
In a roundabout way, he is. He nominated Palpatine to receive emergency powers.
I would actually want to watch these movies if Jar Jar was in them. It's already hard to take the new Star Wars movies seriously, so they might as well try to make it enjoyable in some way.
As a huge star wars fan, I remember I sitting there without any emotion.
most of us did
“In the first five minutes you visit four different planets on-screen.”
We call that the Rogue One effect.
Rogue One was much better about it, and altogether a much better movie
i don't know, but i don't really think that's bad...
Rogue One is so much better
He meant this in a literal since though. In the first 2 opening scenes you literally travel through 5 or 6 different planets. In RO the entire opening was contained on a single planet in a flashback and *then* the other planets pop up.
Rogue One is definitely a better movie, but it really wasn’t that much better about it. It probably has one of the worst first acts I’ve ever seen.
“Star Wars GT: Episode I - not real”
I’m dead😂
Demonofthefall bruh the sequels are GT
The only thing i could focus on that kept me really attached was how Kylos theme changed from menacing to heroic when he became a Jedi
...which makes Luke's character changes from 6 to 8 even worse. "I can see the good in you [dad]" to "I STRIKE DOWN THE EVIL CHILD"
@Kyle D -- Star Wars has never treated redemption like a math equation; we consider Anakin to be redeemed despite his many, many, many, many sins bc we saw his turn back to the light
Kyle D thus neither Kyle nor Vader could really redeem the things they did in the end, I’d they sue wives the remaining survivors would have torn them apart, which is why they had to die.
and yet kylo didn't win even a single time across 3 movies
I fucking hated how in the end Rey says she is Rey Skywalker with Lea and Luke in background, when the last deserving skywalker was Ben Skywalker. Fuck this movie.
I stand by my belief that Obi-wan is the best Jedi and he carried the Jedi order
That's not even a belief, that's just a fact. He exemplified everything a Jedi should be, he was the paragon of his time.
@@TheWeerm not really, he, and the rest of the Jedi order, made many mistakes when raising Anakin.
That's a weird way to spell Qui-Gon Jinn.
@@TheWeerm bruh him being the councils cuckhold led to Anikin turning on the Jedi and slaughtering every single one of them. That’s why Obi Wan is trying to redeem himself with protecting Luke. Even he knows he ruined the Jedi Council with his treatment of Anikin
this is what happens when major corporations have a monopoly over the entertainment industry!
Nah this is what happens when you hire some crackhead to create something
Id say this is what happens when you put a woman in charge kathleen Kennedy doesnt have a clue what shes doing with star wars
Daniel Currie I don’t see how being a women means it’s going to be shit
More like this is what happens when you don't plan a trilogy effectively. It's like Disney was so high off their own success from Marvel that they thought they could easily do the same thing with Star Wars but lacking the meticulous build up and development from that IP.
@@jessiehall1828 plus, the actors did a great job, their direction of their character is bad because the director is bad
I've seen star wars porn parodies about Chewbacca that have higher standards of filmmaking than this film.
😂😂
I want to laugh but you arent wrong. The dark side of the internet has many paths that some would consider unnatural.
*H a P p I n E s S i S a W a R m W o O k I e C o C k*
why have you seen those
Well he did put a lot of effot into it ;)
why is adam driver reviewing Star Wars: ROS and why does he have facial hair
Simbot34 yeah I didn't know he got a nose job
Hail brother.
I’m assuming he’s talking about the force healing? And how Padme’s supposed death being what ultimately lures Anakin to the dark side?
EXACTLY, like it literally completely trivializes the prequels.
not to mention luke couldve just saved anakin from dying after he killed palpatine, or maybe anakin couldve just healed himself being the one
Kylo Ren should’ve been the protagonist.
a white straight male must be a villain
Bloodborne Gamer dude you’re totally right
Finn should have been the protagonist, he had so much potential
Rey is supposed to be the protagonist because you know, ThE FoRcE iS fEmAlE
Michael Root yeah at first, but Kylo ended up being 20 times better.
"Episode 9 was bad."
Why aren't all sponsorship messages like that?
Ah, the return of white shirt Charlie
He only wears this shirt when he means business
*Seven minute scene of Rey climbing some pillars
*Rey starts flying two minutes later
*Okay then
god i hate the fact of palpatine's survival. Vader's arc was his redemption through saving his son and killing the emperor. Completely spits in the face of the originals
Cause fuck luke, fuck han, fuck anakin... only rey. Just rey. Just rey.
Aidan Davis tbh the EU always had stories that involved a resurrected Palpatine, it’s not a new concept.
@@SnaggingRaccoon and those stories blew
Giant Runt yeah, Dark Empire is such a shit story honestly
PS: NONE OF THE SKYWALKERS MATTERED LOL
IT'S PALPATINES ALL THE WAY DOWN
Dry Meter
Like my peen
Hallowed Acolyte - “Initiating Dryness”
You know it's bad when even Jesus doesn't like the rise of skywalker
The combination of your name, profile picture, and comment is something special
The trilogy committed blasphemy by making Rey more powerful than the Son of God.
You’re referring to Jackson right?
300th like
sREUDIAN fLIP bro that’s Denzel washington
Star wars episode 7, 8, 9
aka The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
You should play the LEGO Star Wars game, I think that you would really enjoy it.
He has before
@@kalooop6868 ... Right into the trashcan baby!!! what what!!!!
fuck no
WrathMachine ok Jew
Alizer fuck yes, don’t even try shitting on Lego Star Wars.
Love the foreshadowing within the first few seconds
Thts not even a foreshadow its a straight up spoiler
Not really foreshadowing he just explicitely states it
Episode 9 felt like some playing through a game using a walkthrough and skipping cutscenes that add exposition
Disney forgot that vader was a good guy in the end
you should make a separate spoiler review to save us from the pain
I am glad that at least Adam driver did good
Adarsh Kurisingal they did his character so dirty though. So so dirty.
@@elizabethedens8484 Totally agree with you. But if there is any positive in this trash of a movie for me, it's Adam's acting. Too bad his character wasn't well written
Adam Driver's character was completely wasted. Such a shame.
At least he made cash out of this and has become more popular thanks to these movies
If only his character mattered at all to the writers
Just watch Marriage Story, that's where Adam Driver shines
I couldnt believe it when Joaquin Phoenix's joker killed baby yoda
11/10
Underrated comment right here
I liked when Keanu Reeves’ Superman told Jim Carrey’s Finn that rule #1 of Jedi club is you dint speak of Jedi club
And the twist that Keanu Reeves and Michael Bay are the same character was insane
Why do people call him “baby yoda”...? It’s not freaking yoda.
@@mykimations3957 babee
@@mykimations3957 shut up nerd
The lightsaber battles are just “I Can swing harder then you” And not like anything in the prequels
rey being a sith was the most interesting part of this entire film to me, if only they had the balls to try with that
Oh Kathleen won’t let a female be a bad guy in this cinematic universe
@@frankmerker630 its a damn shame.
@@frankmerker630 Kathleen is an extreme feminist sadly. At least legends has female sith though
Bruh your eyebrows looking juicy
Polaroid Android Jeff you must be new here 😔
You mean *MOIST*
He has better eyebrows than every beauty youtuber
i want to lick them off his face
Man I don't understand why dudes pluck their eyesbrows...it's so beta.
EXCEPT WHEN CHARLIE DOES IT...I FAPPED I WILL ADMIT
It’s so funny to look at TLJ’s moist meter at like a comfortable 70/100 compared to this movie
Wasnt that the "wrong" verdict he gave it?
charlie said he regret to give TLJ 70 it should be lower
@@chadpatrickson9841 cause hes a pussy. He saw that his fans are hating on it so he decides to make a 180
God people on the internet act like opinions can't change. You guys jump to conclusions so easily
@@luigi-yx7nc youre a pussy
Cloning a power only the sith know.
Rex, Fives, Cody, the entire prequel trilogy
Rey is goku; she can fly, no one can match her strength and she has a kamaheha battle with palpatine to save the day.
Great Man goku is a Mary Sue at the end of the day, search your heart, you know it to be true.
David Bookey I don’t think that Goku is a Mary Sue as he is not overpowered and he does have to struggle quite a bit compared to Rey. He’s a Mary without the Sue.
@@orsondorange5413 He's really fucking close to one, but I feel that he avoids the label because he's a goofier character than the overpowered Mary Sues usually are.
daevious not quite think about all goku does in his free time. He trains he ignores his family life and is pretty dense as a person. Goku doesn’t always have the victory handed to him he has to struggle with his fights and usually tears himself up doing it. Goku is not a Mary sue
@@danielclark653 well at least we can all agree that he's not that good of a dad.
The talent of the special effects team, is wasted on incompetent writers
Honestly I think Finn should’ve been the jedi a stormtrooper turned jedi is a perfect arc
3am Stories that would’ve definitely been interesting
Lightsaber battles were the best in the prequels. Love em or hate em, those fights were art.
Agreed
Their pacing yes but the actual choreography was silly as hell. But I would take that over the sluggish ass fighting in the sequel trilogy.
@@stuffthings9618 tbf ep7 lightsaber fight was pawgers
Honestly, not at all. They run down hallways repetitively, symmetrically tapping swords with no mistakes until the plot decides it needs to end in some contrived way. They feel padded out and the most they ever contribute to the narrative is “someone loses.” Even at the surface level, their choreography lacks the intent, the self preservation, the humanity, that makes good cinematic sword fights so intense.
Yes and the Jedi trained with them extensively throughout their lives in the prequels. There was no training like that available for them in these movies. It was literally like a medieval sword fighting because what else would they know to do?
Palpatine comes back? That definitely kinda shits on the original trilogy, and Darth Vader. That was the point of Darth Vader, he was supposed to destroy Palpatine, which he did. I'm not going to watch the movie.
@DontListen ToMe "Nothing matters" is the running theme among Disney movies of this past decade. Fxck you for subscribing to their dumb ideology.
Ali Baba
The idea that the universe has no inherent meaning or worth goes back way further than the past few decades. Also the Disney movies DO NOT push it. They’re all about light and darkness and good overcoming evil. What about that says nothing matters? Rick and Morty would be an example of a show that pushes that nothing matters.
Ali Baba don’t get me wrong, the movies suck, but they’re not nihilist.
Well technically it's part of the Star Wars extended universe. Palpatine does come back in those comics.
@@adomaster123 you're dumb. They made Anakin and Luke irrelevant. Ep1-6 didn't matter if Emperor lives.
Even Mark Hamill said to wait for it on dvd that’s how bad the movie was
Ahh no he didn’t
J_kline 34 he said to wait for it to be on cable
Jack Smack you got a link and context
J_kline 34 he said to wait for the movie to be on cable. That's quite bad to have him say it
606hunter1 okay so first of all what I’m seeing is Hamill said it’s a joke because Star Wars fans don’t wait for it.
Now that could be covering it up, but I doubt Hamill would say something like that on Twitter to a fan and be serious
This one is not with the moist.
The best fight will always be in episode 3
"Give it the Dragon Ball GT treatment and say it's not canon"
Don't worry, Charlie. Disney can buy whatever they want, but they can never validate their fan fictions.
may i introduce you to cars 2
My favorite joke was it was not part of plan because this trilogy had no plan lol.
It looks like they initially wanted to reuse the old plots, found that nostalgia doesn’t carry them long term, and try to have as many plot twists as possible.
Yeah this movie sucks, but I’m more hyped for The Star Wars Clone wars animated series, season 7. Hyped! Hope Charlie does a moist meter on it
Too bad it’s only on Disney+.. it’s not even available everywhere yet
@@LocalGuardsman Its not even out til February.
20 bucks says they are gonna fuck it up
Is it made by the people who made Rebels? Because Rebels was... disappointing.
Another Channel the people’s who made rebels are the people who made the clone wars and yes same people
Last Jedi: “I’m the worst Star Wars movie ever”
Rise of Skywalker: “hold my lightsaber”
Hold my blue milk
Make a spoiler review!!!
Yeah, if a film sucks so bad you wouldn’t recommend it, then why would you bother hiding spoilers?
Kylo ren dies
Rey is the granddaughter of the democracy lover.
@@trippydolphin1390 I think it's force heal
BeLikeRemi77 force heal. Force lightning. Ability to hold a large ship from flying away with her force powers. Take your pick lol